.11.
The next evening seemed to be upon her much quicker than she had anticipated for, and after a few hours of sleep and a long day of emotionally gruelling work, she was happy to see Matt at her door with bags of shopping in his arms. He made his way into her kitchen on instinct and quickly starting unpacking everything he had bought from the store. Homemade pizzas were one of Matt's favourite things to make, he loved everything about it. It was more of the fact that it was something that he and Katharine always did growing up; something they were able to do without their parents knowing of the kind of mess that was happening in the kitchen, and where they were able to just sit in the darkness of Matt's childhood bedroom eating pizza and talking about the little things like whether or not bugs able to see colour or if people dream in black and white.
Katharine remained near the door that led to the small hallway, watching as Matt worked his way around her kitchen. She loved watching him when he didn't realise he had an audience watching him, but there was a part of her that knew he knew about her attention. He never mentioned it but he knew. Matt turned on the radio, and started to move his hands to the music.
He could sense her distance, and listening in to her heart, he sensed something. He looked up into the direction of where she was stood and took off his glasses. He never felt the need to wear them around her, he didn't feel self-conscious around her to hide his unseeing eyes from her. It was something that he liked about her; her calming and considerate nature.
"Everything okay?" Matt asked, his concern growing for her.
Katharine took a moment to answer, but quietly said. "All good."
"You sure?"
"Yep," Katharine responded. "I'm just going to jump in the shower. That okay?"
"Of course," Matt said, his heart sinking. Katharine never missed making the dough for the pizzas, which was one of the best things they enjoyed doing together. The amount of flour that ended up on them instead of in the bowl was something that they always laughed about. He heard her footsteps move away into the bathroom, where a distinctive click was heard and he knew that he was alone. There was something that was distracting her. She would often have days where she would be quiet and distracted but there was always something to bring her back out of her shell. He was able to do that more times than he could count, and he hated not knowing what was causing her to feel that way. The sound of water could be heard, and he busied himself making the dough for the both of them.
It was a short while after that the bathroom door opened. Matt heard the splashes of water fall and land on the wooden floor from her damp hair. He turned towards her. Katharine made her way over to the couch where she sat down, her eyes avoiding Matt.
"I've made the dou-"
"-She's back."
Matt felt his heart drop at that moment, and he listened in to her heartbeat. He moved towards her, and sat on the opposite couch.
"You know what's weird?" Katharine asked, not waiting for him to answer. "There was always a part of me that wondered where she was, or what she was doing at that moment. Whether she was happy or not. Whether she was still here, or whether she had moved away. I wondered if she had died. I wondered if she remarried or had children, I wondered if she loved them more than she ever loved me. I wondered if I would recognise her if I saw her again. I wondered if she was going to be the one person whose face I forgot. I wanted to know everything about her, and then I never wanted to think about her ever again."
"That's natural," Matt said.
"Is it?" Katharine asked, tears forming in her eyes. "After everything that she did to me, I still care about her. I still care about her even though I have an ugly reminder of her on my face," she said, absentmindedly touching the scar on her cheek. "An ugly reminder of the abuse and torment she put me through. She hurt me instead of loving me. She hurt me instead of protecting me. And she thought that was okay. She did it over and over again, every single day. She never allowed the bruises to fade before she was hitting me again. Never once was there a sign of remorse on her face. Never once was there an apology. Never once was there a promise of it never happening again. There was nothing."
Matt's eyes filled with tears at that moment. He could hear the pain rattle against her chest like a hurricane wanting to come out, struggling in the confines of her chest.
"The only time I ever felt safe was with you," Katharine cried. "And you… you lost your dad. He was a wonderful man and he was taken from you. He should be here. He should be here by your side. He didn't deserve to die, and you didn't deserve to lose him. And my mom? The one who abused me is still living on this earth, still breathing the same air as me. I sometimes dream about him. I still hear his voice and I remember the jokes he would always tell us. He was good man, and he would be so proud of you."
"Yeah?" Matt whispered.
"Yeah," Katharine replied. "So proud. I'm proud of you."
Matt wiped the tears that found their way down his cheeks. "How do you know she's back?"
"Her husband was in my apartment last night," Katharine said.
"He was… here?" Matt asked, his eyebrows furrowing.
"He was talking to me about her," Katharine began. "She remarried, and she has a daughter. She's nine. She abuses her, too."
"What did he want?" Matt asked.
"Help," Katharine replied. "He wants her to stop."
"Can't he stop her?"
"No," she replied. "He's tried everything. He offered me money to stop her."
"What?" Matt asked. "How much?"
"It doesn't matter, I turned it down," Katharine said. She stood up and moved towards her bedroom. She pulled the folder out of her bag and carried it over to where Matt was. She placed it in his hands so that he could feel the weight of it.
"All of that," she continued. "Is the amount of times she's been seen by social workers. They file a report on her and it disappears. She pays them to keep quiet. And now that she can afford to, thanks to her husband, she can do so. But mine, the case file for me all those years ago is something she's been trying to hide for years. Because I'm in the system, and I work for the system, and I'm over the age of eighteen, the case is there unless I tell them that I want it to be hidden. I'm not ashamed of what happened to me. I hate it, but I can't change the past. And neither can she."
"How does he want you to stop her?" Matt asked.
"He wants me to scare her enough that it makes her stop," Katharine replied. "But he told me that if I do scare her, and she continues then I have the right to…"
"Kill her." It wasn't a question but a statement. When someone is desperate enough, anything is possible.
"I know she won't change," Katharine said. "If she hadn't changed since me, then she'll always be like it."
"You're going to do it, aren't you?" Matt asked. "You've made your mind up."
Katharine remained quiet for a moment. There was a young girl to think about. She pictured herself as that small child, and she remembered she had prayed for her mom to stop or for someone to stop her mom from hurting her again. Her prayers were left unanswered.
"I'm not going to do anything stupid. I'm just going to scare her a little," Katharine said.
"And what if she recognises you? Have you thought about that?" Matt asked.
"She won't," Katharine said. "She has a photograph of me of when I was young. The same age her daughter is now. She won't know who I am."
"I don't like this," Matt said, honestly.
"You don't have to like it," Katharine said, adamantly. "If it means that that little girl can live without the fear of her mother hurting her again, then it's the least I can do."
"I'll help you," Matt said. "I don't want you to do this alone."
Katharine smiled, and moved towards him. She dropped down in front of him, and held both of his hands in her own. She kissed his palms slowly. "You don't have to help me," she whispered, to which he shook his head.
"Let's not think about it anymore, okay?" Matt said, allowing his hand to move to her face where he grazed his thumb over the permanent reminder of the past, one of which she allowed him to touch. It didn't make him love her any less. She was ashamed of it, but he never understood why. "I don't know about you but I'm ready for pizza."
"Me too," Katharine smiled, allowing Matt to feel it.
They both stood and made their way towards the kitchen. Katharine moved towards the fridge, inspecting the clean counters. "I'm quite surprised to see no mess!"
As Katharine turned around, she quickly closed her eyes and mouth as Matt threw flour at her. She heard Matt chuckling and she opened her eyes to look at him.
He shrugged his shoulders and smirked. "Oops."
Author's Note: Happy New Year! Have a wonderful day, and I hope 2016 is amazing for you all! Hope you enjoy this little update! Let me know what you think of the chapter, I love reading your reviews!