When your blood runs dry
You're paralyzed.
It will eat your mind.
Did you hold it back?
It comes to you in slow attacks;
It's the meanest fire
The sweetest way to die ;;
The decision was made. The time had come.
Yet they were not treating it as such. Jasper could not allow himself to think of this being the last day of Bella's life. It would have a devastating effect on him, and probably everyone involved if they regarded it that way. There were so many potential dangers and so many disastrous scenarios that could take place. They were defying nature that day, turning a human into something.. not human. Jasper couldn't think on it. He couldn't.
All he could let himself think about was Bella, and that he loved her more than anyone or anything. She was his world, and they were about to step into eternity together. He had told her before that if she changed her mind, he would understand and support that. They would never discuss her becoming a vampire again, and spend the rest of her long life together happily. But Bella had not budged once or shown any sign of fear.
The other Cullens had come to Jasper and Bella's that afternoon. Throughout the week, Jasper, Emmett, and Carlisle had been hunting everyday, draining the blood of several animals and bottling it, rather than drinking all of it themselves. That blood was stored in the "wine cellar" in the house that he shared with Bella, in order to test one of Jasper's theories during Bella's transition to make things easier for her.
That morning, something just felt... right. It was time. They hadn't had a lengthy discussion, or really even talked about it that much. It was mentioned, and then they both just understood what it meant. A phone call was made, and a few hours later the family of vampires pulled up and spent the early part of the evening with them. Preparations were made quietly, without any attention being drawn to it. Carlisle had set up several medical necessities that would be needed to monitor Bella's health throughout the process so they would be better able to keep up with the time that passed (since their own perception of time wasn't so accurate).
As the sun began to set and the sky shifted to a darker, lovely shade, Jasper took Bella out onto the balcony of their bedroom. The others were still arranging a few things, which gave them some time to themselves. He didn't say anything about what was going to happen, because he feared he would lose his nerve. It was shaky enough as it was, and even the slightest hesitation could cause him to call off the whole thing - or at least, the part that Bella was wishing for so much. He stood behind her, his arms circling around her waist and his chin resting on top of her head as he watched the sky shift in color.
"Are you cold?" he asked, fearing that in the evening air his chilled temperature might be a bit too much for her.
This, of course, would not be a problem after a few more days, but he still needed to take caution now. His lips pressed to the top of her head and he held her a little closer.
Just because they weren't speaking of it did not mean that the fact was not on everyone's mind. Earlier in the week, Bella had to say her goodbye's to Charlie.
She asked Jasper if she could do this privately. Even though her father was now quite fond of her fiancé, this was something that she didn't think would be as candid in the presence of anyone else. Of course, she had to downplay the situation to make it seem as if she really were just going off to college, but that was a lot more difficult than she anticipated. It didn't help that he was not so quick to let her go when he was hugging her and telling her that he was so proud of her for making the decision to go to school, promising that she'd 'knock 'em dead.'
But she wasn't like the millions of late teens going back to school for the second semester. She wasn't just going to say goodbye to her father for a short time and be able to fly home on the weekend and see him. It had been the hardest thing to do. Out of everything, hands down the most trying.
When she'd said goodbye, she managed to wait until she was alone again to cry. Jasper was there of course and didn't say a thing to her as she sobbed. That was how she preferred it. He didn't need to say anything. He knew. He understood that she needed that outpouring of emotion so she could overcome it. Even though Bella knew that he would still support her if she changed her mind about becoming like him, she wasn't going to. Even through the difficult mourning of being parted from Charlie, her mind was made up and knowing that she would see him again someday - vowing it – she was able to move forward.
And move forward they did.
It was an indescribable feeling that morning when she woke up that told her it would be the last day she would be waking up. But like Jasper, she refused to think of it as anything out of the ordinary. She didn't think about her meals being her last ones or what she was wearing or what she looked like. She acted as if it were just another day when in reality, it was the furthest from it. All Bella could focus on was Jasper. He was with her and he would stay with her throughout. That was what mattered – nothing else. The two of them didn't spend much time familiarizing themselves with what Carlisle was doing, mainly at Bella's request. She didn't want to know. She didn't want to prepare. She just wanted to carry on as they were.
With Jasper's arms around her on the balcony, her mind, however, was on what was about to happen. She felt safe with him there, wrapped up in his arms despite the cold. "I won't be for long," she said truthfully.
Temperature wouldn't matter anymore in a few more minutes essentially. Even though they'd been avoiding talk about it directly, Bella knew that this moment was saved for the two of them. This was supposed to be when they could share affection with one another. Neither of them would have been particularly comfortable in the presence of others, even if it was just the family. She turned around to face him and linked her arms around his neck to keep him close.
"Soon you won't be able to worry about the cold anymore," she said, giving him a reassuring grin. "You'll still be an old man though, I'm afraid. Can't do much about that," she teased.
It might have been a serious moment, but Bella wasn't trying to keep it that way. They both knew it was serious. There was no need to enforce the fact. "I hope Carlisle brushed his teeth this morning," she said with a smile.
This was without question the most serious and dangerous step they'd ever taken in their relationship. It was quite literally a life-altering experience for them both - Bella especially. However, by taking this step and changing Bella, there were several positives that could emerge from her transition. For one, they could be together all the time, forever. They would have their eternity. Beyond that, by changing her he was also keeping her safe. Dangerous as it was, they also still had the threat of the Volturi hanging over them.
They'd received more than one warning about Bella remaining a human. If she was a vampire, they could no longer hold that threat over their heads. This was most certainly not the reason that Jasper had consented to changing her, but it was one of the benefits that would result from it. Another was the fact that he would be able to touch her without fearing he would break her, or kill her. He would no longer feel like an icy, marble statue to her when she rested against him. The benefits were most definitely things that Jasper was looking very forward to.
They both knew the severity of what was to come, so there had been no need to continuously speak of it. To each other, anyway. Jasper had spoken in great detail with his brother and father about it during their hunting trips. As far as Bella knew, Jasper still felt he wasn't ready to be the one to bite her. He had gone back and forth about it, and there still was no final decision on whether it would be Jasper or Carlisle who did it. Jasper just told his father to be ready to do so regardless, and he would let him know when the time came.
As they stood there, Jasper looked into her dark eyes and smiled. Seeing her smiling and joking with him filled his heart with joy. He held her a little tighter to him and smirked. "You'll catch up," he said. "We'll be filing for your social security checks soon enough."
He leaned down then and kissed her tenderly, savoring the feel of her warm, soft lips. "I'm sure we've got some mints around here somewhere, just in case," he teased back, brushing his nose against hers lightly.
Though they were joking around, Jasper knew that they needed to go back inside soon. They had not set a time for it to happen, but the longer they waited, the more potential there was for doubt and worry to creep in.
"I love you so much," he said softly, locking his gaze within hers. This moment between them was one he would always remember. Even if it was one of her human memories that would fade, he would remind her. Jasper leaned in and kissed her again for a much longer moment, pulling back slowly and pressing his forehead to hers.
"Shall we go inside, ma'am?" he asked, a sideways smile on his face.
Her heart felt light when he smiled at her and in turn, returned her joking nature. She appreciated that from him and was glad that he was able to indulge her humor. It was what she needed. However many times Bella kissed him, when he pressed his lips against hers, she tried to remember exactly how they felt in that moment. She didn't know what they would feel like the next time they kissed. This would be one of the very last between the two of them while she was human and he was not.
Bella was glad to have lightened the mood somewhat, but there was another part of her that did want to be sure that there were no doubts in her mind about certain things. "I love you, Jasper," she said softly. "I might be changing, but that never will."
It was important to her that he knew that. Bella knew that he was already aware of how much she cared for him, loved him with everything that she had. But this was one of the moments when it was important that it be spoken. It wasn't the same feeling as it had been before the battle with the newborns and with Victoria. Jasper wasn't in danger this time. Neither was Bella. There was no desperation because on Bella's part, there was no fear. Either way, she had to express her affection for him now.
After returning his kiss, she grinned at his charming words. "Well I do declare, kind soldier," she said, kissing his mouth quickly again before taking his hand to lead him inside.
She was showing that she was confident. Ready. What she didn't show was that there were any signs of fear or sadness. That wasn't what she wanted. This was her decision and she was going to stand by it. There weren't going to be any goodbyes or embraces or tender words. There was no need. The rest of the family understood that and were already waiting inside the bedroom when the two of them went back inside. Bella merely grinned at them and nodded her head once.
Her fingers squeezed Jasper's before she let go of his hand to crawl on the bed as they'd decided before and settling down into the mattress. "Ready when you are, Carlisle," she said.
It was clear that Bella was trying to keep the mood less severe for everyone. The best example? When she unbuttoned the top button on her shirt to pull down the collar further and pushed her hair back, instead of a smooth expanse of skin, it was dotted with a bright yellow smiley face sticker.
"I made it easier," she announced proudly.
It amazed him how calm Bella had been over the last week. There was never any sign or indication that sent out a warning signal to him that she wasn't ready for this. It just seemed like it was the natural progression of things, despite it being completely unnatural. The only time he felt any sort of guilt or remorse about it coming from her was after she'd said goodbye to Charlie. That was to be expected, though. Despite their low-key relationship, Jasper knew that Bella and Charlie loved each other very deeply. Charlie had no idea what was going on, and they'd have to tie up several loose ends with him down the road. That was one reason why it was imperative that they go through with this sooner rather than later. Otherwise they'd have to keep up the college charade much longer. He'd held her while she cried and made no attempt to stop her. She needed to let those emotions pour out in order to face the future confidently. That appeared to have worked, considering how confident she was at the present.
Jasper walked with her into their bedroom, where everyone had just gathered. With their heightened hearing, they'd known when the couple was going to come back into the house. This was it. He watched as she moved onto their bed to rest comfortably. It was difficult for him not to look at the heart monitor and other machines that were to be used to monitor Bella's vital signs after she was bitten so they would know the precise moment when all of her organs had ceased to function. He didn't want to think about that, but to a certain degree he couldn't help it.
As she called out to Carlisle, Jasper set his jaw and moved to the bed. He was going to be as involved in this as much as he possibly could. He also wanted Bella to be very aware that he was going to be with her throughout the duration of this, from start to finish. This was going to be a long three days, and Jasper wasn't sure how well he'd do having to watch her go through all the pain. He knew that what she was enduring was far worse than what he would be going through by watching, though, so he'd vowed to himself that he would be strong throughout, and do everything he could to keep her comfortable.
He'd just moved to lay next to her when she unbuttoned the top of her shirt and revealed a little target she'd made for Carlisle.
Upon seeing it, Emmett immediately burst into laughter. Rosalie rolled her eyes, while Esme covered her mouth to stifle a giggle. His father had come to lean down, getting ready to get things underway quickly, just in time to see it and paused, looking down at the mattress and laughing as he shook his head.
Jasper.. didn't laugh. He had a similar sense of humor as Bella, but this wasn't something he felt like he could laugh about. One slip of concentration, and Carlisle could fall - even as disciplined as he was. He stared at them all, silent until the laughter ceased. It was then that he came to a decision.
"Father.." he said, stopping Carlisle before he could lean back in again.
The two met eyes and Carlisle understood what his son was trying to tell him. The good doctor nodded. "Emmett," he said, notifying the big bear of a vampire to be ready.
Carlisle moved away from the bed then to stand closer to the machines while Emmett took another step towards the bed. Jasper turned back to look at Bella again. He wanted to ask her if this was really what she truly wanted, but he couldn't speak very well right now. He was nervous, but trying so hard to keep calm. Slowly, one hand slid beneath her back to press against the curve of her spine, while the other ran over her stomach and around her side to hold her still. He knew his hands would be wrenched behind his back soon enough, but for now he wanted to hold her.
She was what she wanted. And Jasper, more than he realized before on account of his fear, wanted it too.
"Belle..." he whispered, watching her eyes.
Though he was very aware of everyone else in the room, it felt like it was merely the two of them in this moment. He leaned in and kissed along her jawline, then pressed the tenderest kiss to the pulse point in her neck.
Bella's little joke had the reactions she mainly would have predicted. She was glad to have at least made Carlisle relax with a smile. She knew that this would have been hard for him enough as it was. She figured that she could at least try and help by allowing him to know how much she trusted him. By kidding around with the silly gesture, she was vulnerable in a way and that exemplified her trust by allowing herself to be in such a state of mind.
Her smile quickly faded when she read Jasper's reaction though. When he spoke his father's name, Bella had a brief moment of panic. She thought he was calling him off, that he was going to stop him from going through with all of this and the transformation wouldn't occur. She thought that he was going to say that he didn't want to end her human life, that it was too dangerous, that there was too much risk. Or he was going to say that they needed to wait longer, that this wasn't the right time.
She had a million thoughts racing through her head all in one instant. Her eyes darted to Carlisle, then to Emmett when his name was spoken, then back to Carlisle. Opening her mouth to question what was going on, she finally allowed her eyes to meet Jasper's.
When they did, her worry somehow subsided.
The look in his eyes wasn't one that caused her to panic any longer. It was certain, resolved. Yet, it was incredibly soft. It was a look that they often shared between the two of them when neither of them needed words to speak. His hands were on her then, the chill of them evident even through her clothes as one slid behind her back and the other to her side. But her eyes never left his. In a way, Bella assumed this was his way of sharing another moment with her, the last one she would have as a human before Carlisle bit her and started the transformation into something different entirely.
But as Jasper's lips moved to her jawline and further to her neck, Bella learned that it was not the good doctor who would be doing it. It would be Jasper.
Her Jasper. Her soldier. It was going to be him.
Her heart leapt within her chest, something that all others present would be able to notice. But that was the only change Bella allowed. If she reacted, even in the smallest manner, she feared that he might change his mind or decide he wasn't able to do it. And more than anything, Bella wanted it to be him. She so badly wanted him to solidify their eternity together in a way that even wedding bands couldn't do in the same respect. And he was. He was giving this to her.
Silently just then, Bella vowed to spend every single one of those days leading into forever thanking him for this.
Lips still parted, she took a quiet breath, turned her neck just slightly to the side, and closed her eyes.
Jasper wasn't sure what came over him, or why he spoke up. There was just something he felt within him that told him he had to be the one to do this. He hated to halt the process, for fear it would startle Bella or make her worry he was going to call off the whole thing. He wouldn't do that; this was Bella's choice, not his. The only decision he was altering was to give her exactly what she said she wanted. He was nervous, but he'd been using his power on himself as much as he could to remain calm. He knew he couldn't hesitate for long, or else he really would lose his nerve. Halting the process twice would no doubt frighten her.
He knew the others were all around them, but it seemed like it was just the two of them. He knew Emmett was coming in close behind him, but he could barely even sense his brother. Being so close and in tune with Bella allowed him to feel everything she was feeling. He knew she was nervous, no matter how confident she was in her choice. But he thought, when he knew Bella realized what he was going to do, that he felt relief coming from her. There were no words necessary. They'd said everything they needed to, and surely she could feel all the love pouring from his heart just as he could feel the same from her.
He'd never bitten anyone for any reason but for the sake of feeding. While building Maria's vampire army, it was never his job to change any of the victims. Jasper bit to kill, to drain his victims of every last drop of blood in their system. To bite Bella, have a small taste of her blood, and then let go... well, it seemed impossible to him. Jasper had very little faith in himself, but he had an unmeasurable amount of faith in the love he had for her. That was the strength he would rely upon in order to let go. That, and the physical strength of his brother.
Very slowly, he pressed his lips against her pulse point again. His eyes closed momentarily, as he savored this moment. He did not pause for long though, for fear that thoughts of doubt would creep into his mind. His golden eyes opened once more so that he could see what he was doing. Jasper parted his lips, revealing a set of perfect white teeth. The only sound he could hear was Bella's heartbeat, as everyone else had fallen silent in anticipation.
"I love you," he breathed out, and then moved in to perform the action he had always striven so hard to avoid.
His teeth sank into her neck, piercing right into the artery. His eyes grew wide as her blood seeped into his mouth and teased his taste buds. He had to force his hands off of her so he did not clutch her too tight. As soon as he let go of her, he felt his brother's strong grip pull his arms behind his back.
Having to unclench his teeth from her neck was extremely difficult. Human blood was what his body craved every second of every day. Having a small taste of it, only to be forced to let go was just cruel. It was also ingrained in Jasper's nature to be territorial. As far as he was concerned, Emmett was interfering and invading his territory.
No, no he wasn't.
This was Bella.
He wasn't feeding on her.
He had to remind himself of that, and it became clear to him as soon as Emmett wrenched him off of her.
Esme immediately moved to help, while Carlisle tended to Bella and quickly got rid of any traces of blood. Jasper struggled momentarily, as Esme touched both sides of his face and spoke soothing words to her son to calm him. Flecks of crimson tainted the golden hue of his eyes, but did not take over completely as he'd only managed to consume a few drops of her blood in the process of biting her. Carlisle immediately hooked Bella to a machine that kept her vitals monitored. All Jasper could do for the moment was try to calm down, and watch as Bella reacted to the potent venom that would now be penetrating her blood stream.
The moment of anticipation had been the most difficult.
Bella was calm, more so than likely anyone else would have been in her position, but there was still a very small part of her that was a little nervous. The reason for that was mainly because she had experienced this type of pain before. When James had been hunting her, he managed a bite and the resulting pain had been nothing less than excruciating. She had never forgotten that feeling, even when she was so insistent on being changed and acknowledging that she would have to endure it for three full days.
To her, those seventy-two hours of agony were worth an eternal lifetime of happiness. With Jasper and with her transition, that's what she would be gaining. In the grand scheme of things, the pain registered very low. But right before it occurred, the anticipation of it is exactly what brought it to memory.
Still, Bella knew it would have been worse if Carlisle would have been the one to perform the task. He would certainly not have gone about it the same way. Jasper kissed her skin and whispered that he loved her. It was difficult to focus only on the pain and negative aspects of what was coming up. His lips were cold against her neck and his words, however perfect, chilled her.
It was a striking difference from the very next second of pure pain. It took every ounce of strength Bella had in her to not scream out when his teeth sank into her skin, but Bella forced herself to remain quiet for that instant when Jasper would be having the hardest time with what was happening.
Fire licked her insides as she felt the venom start to spread. Once it was in the bloodstream, it was impossible for her to remain still and silent. The burn was so intense and spread so quickly that the fire was present in every inch of her in less than a minute. From her fingers to her toes, there was nothing but fire.
When Emmett pulled Jasper away and she no longer felt the contrast of his cold touch, her back arched and she cried out. The pain was so intense, concentrated at her neck where he'd bitten especially; she had to cry out for some sort of release. For a few minutes or maybe it was a few hours - Bella had absolutely no concept of time anymore, not after Jasper had bitten her - she whimpered and moaned, her body aching so painfully that she couldn't keep it still.
All she could do was wait.
A vampire's concept of time was considerably different than that of a person.
Three days, in the grand scheme of things, really should not have been that long. Ordinarily for a vampire, it would have been nothing. In this case, it was the longest three days in Jasper's existence. Even the three days during which his own transition took place seemed to move faster than time had in the last seventy-two hours. The only thing harder to endure than the time itself, was knowing how much pain Bella was in.
In the beginning, she'd voiced her pain for a few hours. Jasper regretfully had not been there at the start, for he had to have Emmett remove him from the room while he regained his composure and drank a little of the blood they'd stored. Once he was in control of himself again, he did not leave her side.
He was constantly on alert. Jasper watched her every minute that ticked by. He laid in the bed with her, keeping his body pressed to hers in order to hopefully help soothe the burning she had to be experiencing from the venom. Not only did it travel through the blood stream, but it also saturated the skin to give it the diamond-like durability. He kept his arms around her and his eyes on her at all times, looking for any sign of discomfort. It wasn't too long before her whimpers and cries of pain had quieted, which baffled him.
But not for long.
He realized what she was doing soon enough and it made him feel guilty. Even in this state, she was trying to hide that she was hurting, and it was most likely for his sake.
Despite her efforts, Jasper had been through this and witnessed it thousands of times in his life. He knew that no matter how quiet she was, she had to be in excruciating pain. He could only hope that his chilled temperature would help ease some of the pain. Like clock work, every so often, Esme or Carlisle would come up with a vial of blood from the stash they'd collected in the days before Bella was bitten. Jasper would gently lift Bella's head and tilt it back. He would whisper sweet words to her, and prepare her for what he was going to do. This was very much a gamble, for he did not know how the blood would taste to her yet. But what he did know, was that it was the only cure for the fire she no doubt had to be feeling in her throat. Slowly, he trickled blood into her mouth, keeping her head tilted back so that it would drain down her throat without her having to try to swallow it herself. He prayed that it would help.
For three days he did not leave her side; he tended to her, comforted her, held her, and spoke gently to her. He would watch as the numbers on the heart monitor changed, lowering more and more with each passing hour. Her skin was starting to harden and grow colder as her blood circulation diminished.
Jasper was there as her breathing slowed and eventually stopped, and he was there for her final heart beat.
The sound of the monitor flatlining told him that his hearing had been correct. He raised up and looked down at her, but only for a moment. Everyone else in the house heard it as well and came quickly to the room. It was only then that Jasper left her side and retreated to stand behind his larger brother. As much as he had wanted to be the first person she saw, insecurities crept up on him faster than he could have anticipated. He was a monster. He was not like the others. He would not look the way he did before he bit her. He could not hide behind the camouflage anymore.
Jasper watched from behind his family, waiting for her to awaken.
Pain.
That was all Bella could feel. That was all Bella could think about. That was all that existed.
And then Jasper was there. When he came back to her, everything changed. It was not just because of the intensity of it that Bella was unable to concentrate on anything else but the pain, but because also, she was aware that Jasper was gone. She knew he needed to go take care of his hunger immediately and she was glad that he managed it. She was glad that he managed all of it. It was something that helped to focus elsewhere aside from the pain. If she could just keep thinking about him, if she just fixated all of her attention, thought, feeling on Jasper, then maybe the pain would not be quite as prominent. When he laid in the bed with her and pressed his body to hers, the chill of his skin acted as some relief to the burn she was suffering within her own.
That small flicker of relief rendered her silent. He was there. He was with her. She was in the worst pain anyone could ever experience and everyone was well aware of the fact. They had all been through it; it was certainly not something that was easily forgotten. But that didn't mean that Bella had to continue to show it. Just as painful as it was to endure, she imagined that it was just as hurtful for Jasper to witness. It was how Bella felt in regard to him. It was rare that he was in pain, but she'd witnessed it before. More than once. And each time, it had been by the hands of another vampire. It wounded her in a way that it felt as if she too were experiencing the pain first hand. Right now, she imagined it likely that he was feeling similarly. That was why her demeanor changed completely upon his arrival.
Her body went still and her cries went silent. There was no longer any movement from the brunette who was still in the early stages of her transformation. It was an opposite, almost eerie change from her reaction to being bitten initially. Her chest alone was the only movement as her breathing progressed. But her breathing rendered her to be in the most pain of all. The burn in her throat was so intense, it literally felt as if someone had lit a torch within and the flames were burning freely.
His idea regarding the blood proved to be a good one. The first time she tasted the thick liquid, it was bitter, disgusting. But it did seem to soothe the burn in her throat. It was not very much, but it was noticeable. After the third vial she was given, Bella began to anticipate the next. It was no longer bitter tasting, but rather, it was satisfying in addition to being somewhat soothing. It also gave her a further distraction.
She started to count the seconds until someone brought the next vile. Hundreds and thousands of seconds. She almost always lost count due to the fact that Jasper would utter something in her ear. Every time, she so badly wanted to move to allow him to know she was all right - a tilt of her head, a brush of her fingers. But she couldn't. She could not even allow the slightest motion, not even to swallow when he fed her the blood (even though there was no need with the way he tilted her head back). If she did, if she would have even have given in for a millisecond, her strong resolve would have shattered and she would not have been able to stop from screaming and writhing in pain.
The fire continue to burn her insides, something that even Jasper's cold arms around her could not prevent those flames from searing her body. The strongest points of pain centered at her heart and in her throat, the former of which had no sort of relief as did the latter with the vials of blood.
She didn't know when exactly thing started to feel differently. It was impossible to say. The first inkling of a change was in her toes. The burn there had seemingly evaporated. The same occurred with her fingers. The cooled relief traveled through her ankles, calves, knees, thighs and at the same time, moved along wrists and elbows and arms. Still, she refused to move them. The reason was because even though the burn was no longer in those appendages, it intensified in her heart.
As the rest of her body thawed from pain, her chest ached and burned unlike anything.
The only movement she allowed herself was to clench her fingers in order to keep from crying out as she so badly wanted to. It felt like her heart was racing, the sound of it clouding her auditory senses. Her chest felt like it was pulsing so strongly, so forcefully that they would all be able to see it, hear it too. Her hips and stomach were free of the burn, her face, her neck, her shoulders. All the while becoming more and more concentrated in her heart.
The hotter it burned, the louder it began until finally it seared to a halt. Bella gasped for a breath that would be her last as her heart quieted. Her ears were filled with the flatlining indication of the heart monitor, the proof that her own heart no longer was working. The fire in her chest was extinguished, but the one in her throat remained. Still, she was slow to open her eyes, almost fearing what she would see. This was a strange moment for her to encounter, her first glimpse of the world with new eyes.
And with new eyes, it seemed like a new world.
Slowly, her eyes fluttered open, her eyelashes blinking a few times from habit as her vision adjusted. She could see everything - the specks of dust that caught in the dim light of the room, the crisp paint job covering their walls, the hint of dark brown branches through the far window, bare from the wintery season.
Everything was vivid, bright, brilliant. Everything was familiar and yet seemed different, intensified.
Turning her head, she looked for the only thing she wanted to set eyes on, the only person. But Bella was surprised not to see him still beside her. Her upper half lifted effortlessly as she sat up, no remnants of exhaustion or pain save for the flames in her throat. One by one, she searched the faces of her new family, recognizing their beauty even more fully under the new senses she acquired.
But they stopped when they caught sight of the most beautiful one of them all.
It was partially obscured however, something that she didn't quite understand. With ease, she pulled herself out of bed, extending her legs to the floor and rising to stand.
"Jasper?" she questioned.
She was the one who'd spoken his name but it didn't sound like her voice. This one was far too melodic, foreign, and it startled her for a moment. But the burn in her throat was very evident after she opened her mouth to speak. Her hand flew to her neck, as if she were afraid of the new voice that sounded when she spoke. But not even a second passed before she remembered her intentions.
Slowly, she took a few steps forward to approach him and the rest of the Cullens.
It worked.
Jasper had not failed in changing Bella into a vampire.
He'd watched as she underwent the otherworldly transition and endured the emotional pain he'd suffered as a result of biting her. Knowing he'd literally killed the person he loved most had affected him in a way that hadn't exactly been pleasant. For her sake, he'd internalized it so he could be a strong pillar for her while she was handling her own pain. He had a feeling it would come back to haunt him eventually, though.
Insecurity had come back to haunt him again, too. That was what made him get up from the bed when he knew the transition was complete. Now that he did not have to worry about something going wrong, he began to think about everything else again. Bella was going to see him. She was going to see him for what he was. She'd seen his scars before under harsh lighting and on the few occasions he'd stepped into the sunlight. It wasn't the same, though. The light did not portray the scars as vividly as she would see them now with her heightened sight. They also would no longer vanish when the lights went out. She was going to see them all the time, for forever. That is, if she wanted to.
And that was where his insecurities took a cruel turn. Jasper thought of himself as hideous. Bella had told him several times that he was beautiful, and that she would never look away from him because of the scars. He appreciated that, and he wanted to believe it. However, he knew that there was a chance that things could be different now. He wouldn't blame her if she was repulsed by what she saw, or even feared him as most of their kind did. It would hurt him, but he would understand.
He did not want his monstrous face to be the first thing she saw when she awakened. The world around her was beautiful, and he did not want her first glimpse of it to be marred with his imperfections. Naturally, though, she called out for him. It caused Jasper to duck his head, blonde curls falling around his eyes. They covered the scar over his brow and the shame reflected in his golden gaze. He made no move to step out from behind Emmett, though more than anything he wanted to go to her.
Everyone else did not know what to expect. Newborns were very unpredictable, and there was no telling if she'd awaken with a bloodthirsty appetite, threatening to rip them all apart, or... what she was now. Completely coherent, asking for her mate and Sire. Esme turned to Jasper and took one of his hands, cupping his cheek with the other.
"What did you expect, my son? She needs you." The maternal vampire gently coaxed him out from behind Emmett, though Jasper moved at a snail's pace.
Bella's voice had sounded different, but with his hearing as sharp as it was he could still detect the same tone he recognized as hers. He did not raise his head just yet, for he was afraid of what she would think of him. He'd worn long sleeves and a buttoned shirt as well to shield her eyes from what he'd painted as the ugly truth. The rest of the family seemed torn with whether they should stay in the room or leave them for the time being. Carlisle took the initiative to usher them outside the door, but still well within earshot and sprinting distance that they could help should Bella's control break.
Jasper whispered, though he knew she'd be able to hear him as clear as day.
"Belle."
Author's Note: Finally! Bella is a vampire! As you can see, we obviously took a very different spin from the original series in that this was planned to an extent. We hope you all liked it! We know how you were waiting for this since Book One! The wait is over! Next chapter will be up this week! Stay tuned!
Let us know what you thought and if the wait was worth it for you! Cheers! x
Lyrics: Paralyzed - The Cardigans