A/N: Super sorry for the really long wait for this one. This show has not been particularly enjoyable for me this past year, so I spent some time away from it, and in effect, away from this story. But this is a pretty long update so hopefully that makes up for it.
A massive thank you to everyone who has enjoyed this story, to those who have reviewed, and especially to those people who sent me messages over the last year to give me nudges to keep working on it.
If anything sounds familiar, I didn't write it originally.
She checked the clock again.
10:34 pm.
Two minutes after the last time she had checked.
With a groan, she glanced towards the trashcan. The empty box of donuts was sticking out of the top, mocking her for her lack of self-control. She didn't know how Graham knew it, but donuts were her weakness.
Her kryptonite, as Henry would put it.
During the day shift, she had been eying the box of donuts sitting tantalizingly close on her desk, but her willpower had only allowed her the one bear claw. But as the sun had disappeared, and the realization that she was gonna have to work until morning set in, her willpower had pretty much disappeared. By the time ten o'clock rolled around, she had finished off the box.
The tiny sheriff's office had started feeling cramped by nine. She had walked around the building a few times, trying to work off some of the energy building up in her system, but the relief only lasted her a few minutes before she was itching to go again. This was why she didn't work nights. The boredom, coupled with the sleep deprivation and the energy-boosting substances she consumed to keep herself awake made her stir crazy. And she hated stir crazy.
With another glance to the clock- 10:36- she decided it was long past time for going on patrol. Not that patrolling the town actually mattered- Storybrooke had an impossibly low crime rate- but she was sure that having the sheriff's car out and about didn't hurt anything. It had to make the townspeople feel safer, even if there wasn't any reason for them to feel unsafe in the first place. She grabbed her keys off the desk, her coat off the coat rack, and headed out towards the cruiser.
Night had fallen some three hours ago, but, as she pulled onto Main Street, it seemed more like three in the morning. The streets were abandoned like they always were after dark. There wasn't anything to see aside from darkened storefront windows, but Emma cruised from street to street begging for some perp to jump out in front of her and lead her on a foot pursuit across town. Anything to get her energy out.
She turned the car down Mifflin Street, telling herself it was just another road of the town that she needed to patrol, nothing more, nothing less. As she approached Regina's house, she glanced over it out of habit, but movement caught her eye. Someone was climbing out of a second story window- Regina's bedroom window.
She felt her stomach churn in worry, her heart begin to pump rapidly in her chest. It was ten-thirty on a Wednesday night. Regina had to be home. Henry should already be fast asleep in bed. Storybrooke wasn't exactly the axe murderer capitol of the world but that didn't mean that bad things couldn't happen here. With shaking hands, she quickly parked the car and got out as quietly as she could.
Hiding behind the hedges, she waited, praying to whatever God was up there that her family was safe. As the sounds of footsteps drew nearer, she steeled herself for the fight that was about to go down. Drawing back her nightstick, summoning all of the strength in her body, she swung, her nightstick slashing through the air, whacking the perp in the stomach. A groan broke through the silence, and Graham fell to the ground in front of her.
She stared at him, shaking her head in confusion. Graham was creeping out of Regina's bedroom window? He turned over and looked up at her, eyes widening when he realized who had attacked him. Like a shot to the gut, realization dawned on her. "No..." she said, certain that what she thought was happening wasn't really happening.
"It's not what it looks like, I swear."
"Like hell it isn't." She could feel her anger rising, suddenly wanting nothing more than to use all of her energy to beat the shit out of him. "You're sleeping with Regina?!"
He got to his feet, arm still clutching his stomach. "Emma-"
"Why were you sneaking out the window?" She knew the answer didn't matter, not really, but she needed to get the idea of Graham's hands on Regina's skin out of her mind.
"Regina didn't want Henry to know."
Her eyes went wide. "With my son two bedrooms down the hall? This can't be happening."
He put his hands up in an attempt to placate her. "Look, I know that you have a history with Regina-"
"A history?" She almost laughed at the simplification. "She was my wife, Graham. For almost nine years." An ache started beneath her sternum. "I can't believe this..." she muttered to no one.
"Emma, I'm sorry."
She glanced back towards the window he had just snuck out of, wondering what Regina was doing at that very moment. If she was satisfied by what had just occurred. Shuddering, Emma turned back to Graham, fury in her eyes. "You can finish my shift. I'm done working nights." She threw him the keys. Not bothering to see if he managed to catch them or not, she started back towards her apartment on foot.
She refused to believe it. Even though Graham had pretty much confirmed it, she couldn't believe that Regina was sleeping with him. After everything that she had been through lately with Regina, she had thought that they were getting closer. And even though she had never allowed herself to think too much about it, scared of what the implications would mean, she thought that maybe they were getting back to where they used to be before their relationship imploded. That maybe they had a future together. But the whole time Regina had been sleeping with Graham? It didn't begin to make sense.
When she got to her building, she took the stairs to the apartment two at a time and threw open the front door with more force than was necessary. Mary Margaret was standing in the kitchen, mug of cocoa paused half-way to her lips, eyes wide in shock at Emma's sudden entrance. Without offering up an explanation, Emma climbed the stairs to her room and collapsed face down on her mattress.
Despite her best efforts to keep her emotions in check, she could feel the familiar sting of tears. But she refused to cry over this. Even though she felt like she had been punched in the gut a few thousand times, she knew that she had no reason to cry over this. Regina hadn't ever given her reason to believe that she wanted to rekindle their relationship. They were just friends. For Henry's sake, she reminded herself, they were friends.
Nothing more.
She let out a groan into her pillow.
"You wanna tell me what's going on?"
She hesitated, knowing her drama was not something her roommate needed to get herself involved in. Especially when Mary Margaret was having her own drama with a married guy named David that worked at the pet shelter. When Emma felt a tap on her thigh, she rolled over onto her back. Mary Margaret sat down on the mattress beside her, giving Emma her patented look of concern.
Turning her gaze to the ceiling, Emma shook her head to try to clear out her thoughts, but it didn't do any good. She couldn't get the mental image of Regina with Graham out of her head. With a sigh, she muttered, "Regina's sleeping with Graham."
Mary Margaret's eyes went wide, her mouth falling open. "Oh, wow."
"I can't even- I'm just so... angry right now." She pushed herself into a sitting position and leaned against her headboard, crossing her arms protectively over her chest. Mary Margaret's eyes softened, a look of understanding crossing her face. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?" Emma asked, shifting nervously under her roommate's gaze.
"You still have feelings for her," she said softly.
"What?" She let out a short laugh. "Of course I don't." The look on Mary Margaret's face made it clear that her roommate didn't believe her. "I don't! I just-" she took in a deep breath, trying to clear her mind, "-I thought that... I thought that Regina and I could get back to where we used to be. And I don't mean that I want us to be together, I just- I thought that we could be a family again, the three of us."
"You're sure that's all you want?"
She stared at Mary Margaret for a long time, knowing in her heart that the answer was no. The violent way that she was reacting to the thought of Regina and Graham together told her more than enough about her true feelings. She wanted a lot more than family time with Regina and their son. She wanted Regina. She wanted what they used to have together. She just didn't know how to deal with that yet, especially in light of what she had just discovered, so she nodded. "It is."
"Then you guys can still have that."
"No," Emma shook her head emphatically. "This changes everything. Whether I want it to or not. I can't just... pretend like we're one big happy family anymore. That illusion has been shattered."
Mary Margaret nodded slowly, her eyebrows creased in concern. "So what are you going to do then?"
Emma hesitated. It was a good question, one that didn't have an answer. She had no idea what the hell the right thing to do is when you've found out that your ex-wife is screwing your boss. She shook her head slowly, again feeling the sting of tears.
"Nothing," she whispered. "I'm not going to do anything."
...
It was almost halfway through Henry's last soccer game of the season when Emma felt her nose beginning to get numb. December had recently started, and much to Emma's annoyance, winter had chosen that morning to make its presence known. Despite the low temperature, the kids playing on the soccer field chased the ball around with just as much enthusiasm as they had at the beginning of the season. Chancing a look to her right where Regina was standing, Emma thought over the events of the last week.
It had been three days since Emma had found out about Regina's affair. She had purposefully spent those three days with her nose buried in paperwork at the sheriff's station, skillfully avoiding both Regina and Graham while she tried to process everything that had happened. Despite spending her nights staring at the ceiling in her bedroom, trying to work through every possible permutation of her next move, she hadn't come up with any path to take other than inaction. If Regina had no intentions of telling Emma about her affair, then Emma was going to play dumb for as long as she could. She was certain that it was better for everyone involved if she just kept her mouth shut.
"You're staring." Regina said with a hint of a smile, her eyes still glued on the game.
Emma immediately tore her gaze away from the brunette, feeling heat creep up in her cheeks. She tried to focus on the game instead of what Regina was doing in her spare time, but soccer had never really been her thing. She knew the kids were supposed to kick the ball through the goal, but beyond that she was clueless. Though, she suspected it didn't matter much when it was a bunch of fourth graders doing the playing.
"What are you thinking about?"
She turned back to her ex to find Regina's eyes on her. "What?"
"You've got that look that you get when you're wanting to talk about something but don't know where to begin, so what is it?"
Emma inwardly cursed herself. Even after all this time, Regina could still read her like a book. "It's nothing."
Regina studied her carefully for a long moment, causing Emma to shift nervously under her gaze. "If you say so." She turned her attention back to the game as the referee's whistle blew, signaling halftime.
Two minutes into the third quarter, Emma decided to just bite the bullet. The thoughts weren't going to go away until she had at least some of her questions answered, so her options were to ask the damn questions or go crazy imagining Graham playing happy family with her family. "So..." she started lamely, causing Regina to glance towards her for a brief moment before giving her attention back to the game.
"Yes?"
"What's going on with you?"
Regina looked back to her again, eying her suspiciously. "Excuse me?"
"I know what's going on in Henry's life, so I know some of what's going on in your life. And I know about what's going on at the mayor's office, so I know about your work life, but I don't really feel like I know what's going on with you." She winced at how badly her words came out and immediately wished that she hadn't said anything.
But Regina's lips turned up in an amused smile, an eyebrow raising in question. "Are you asking about my personal life?"
"Um... yeah?" She knew without a doubt that she should've never broached the topic. She didn't want to know if things were serious with Graham, didn't want to know that he was probably on the verge of proposing marriage. She cringed at the thought. "No. You know what, I- uh, never mind."
Regina let out a low chuckle. "Well, there is nothing to tell anyway."
"Nothing?" Emma asked in surprise.
"No. Nothing beyond what you already know."
She studied the look in Regina's eyes, unable to find anything hidden there. "Oh, well. Okay." Turning her gaze back towards the soccer game, she wondered why Regina would lie to her. Maybe Graham had told Regina that they had been found out, but she doubted it. If Regina knew that Emma knew, she would have said something at some point. At the very least, she would be avoiding the topic like the plague. No, there was no way in hell that Regina knew that she knew.
This was starting to feel like that one episode of Friends.
"What about you?"
She looked over to find Regina's gaze still on her. "Me?" She asked in confusion.
Regina hesitated, giving a glance to the game before asking, "is there anything to tell about your personal life? Anything you might have left back in Chicago?"
She almost laughed at the question. "No. There was nothing for me in Chicago." She wanted to add that the only things that mattered to her were in Storybrooke, at that very soccer game with her, but she thought better of it.
Regina seemed pleased with her answer and turned back to the game. "I'm glad to hear that."
Her eyebrow rose at Regina's words. "You are?"
"Yes." Her gaze stayed fixed on the soccer game. "It means there isn't any reason for you to have to go back."
"Then I guess that means you're never getting rid of me. Think you'll manage?"
"I'll find a way somehow." Regina's voice was serious, but when her eyes met Emma's again, the blonde could see a sparkle of satisfaction.
...
She tucked her hair back behind her ear with a mumbled curse and refocused on the papers in front of her. There had been a recent string of break-ins across town, resulting in stacks of paperwork that were far from being sorted. It seemed the thieves were fond of anything that had monetary value- televisions, jewelery, even a baseball card collection had disappeared. But so far none of the objects had popped up around town, and the evidence that she and Graham had collected had yet to lead them anywhere. Add to it the fact that it was a Sunday afternoon and she was still at the office, and she found herself in a pretty shitty mood.
She heard a door open somewhere in the building followed by the sound of footsteps growing closer. Graham's voice cut through the room. "I brought lunch."
She didn't look up when he entered the office, continuing to stare at the words on the page even though she had no idea what they were saying. "Great," she mumbled. She hadn't asked him to bring lunch. She wasn't even hungry. And the idea of being forced into a half an hour of polite conversation with him made her stomach churn. A bag of food was dropped on the desk in front of her, making her jump in surprise. "Jesus!"
"Sorry."
She looked up to find him giving her that self-conscious smile of his. The smile that she'd seen him giving Regina one too many times. She merely glared at him and turned her attention back to her paperwork. To her left, she heard legs of a chair scraping on the laminated floor. She looked up to find him settling into the seat at the desk next to hers, his own bag of food on the table in front of him.
"Thought I could give you some company." He said as he opened up his to-go carton from the diner.
"I don't need it." She answered roughly. Graham's eyes widened in surprise. Knowing she shouldn't direct her anger at him even though he was the source of most of it, she turned back to the piles of paper on her desk. "What I need is for this jackass to stop stealing other people's stuff."
A low chuckle emanated from beside her. "Yeah, I would be alright with that. The late nights are starting to wear on me."
"Really? Not enough time for booty calls with Regina?" She immediately snapped her mouth shut, closing her eyes in annoyance. She knew that it was only a matter of time before she said something inappropriate, but actually hearing the words leave her lips, she still couldn't believe that they were true.
"Emma-"
"Save it." She practically growled at him. The last thing she wanted to do was talk about that.
"I really think we need to talk about this."
Keeping her attention directed at her paperwork, unable to look him in the eye, she responded, "the last thing I want to do is talk about you screwing my wife."
"Ex-wife."
Even though she knew that he was right, she felt herself snap. Turning towards him suddenly, she said, "and what is she to you, huh? Just a fuck buddy? Cause no matter what happens between the two of you, you'll never have as much history together as I have with her. Your relationship will never matter like ours does."
"Emma, I'm sorry-"
"No, okay? Don't." She stood up suddenly, anger coursing through her veins. "I don't know what this is," she said, motioning towards her lunch, "but don't bother doing it again. You can't buy my approval with coffees and lunches. Even with what's going on, I can still work with you, but that's it, alright? We are not friends, not anymore. Not after this."
"I don't see why this has to change anything. You and Regina have been broken up for years."
Giving him her best glare, she bit back the stream of insults she wanted to hurl at him. He had Regina, and she had nothing. The last thing she needed was a reminder of that. "I do not have to explain myself to you of all people. I don't owe you a goddamn thing."
"You're right." He said, holding up his hands in surrender.
She took in a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down. Courtesy of her outburst, he looked like a kicked puppy. She knew she should feel guilty but the emotion didn't register. "I need out of here..." She said, more to herself than to Graham. Her eyes landed on the keys on her desk. "I'm going on patrol." She grabbed the keys and her leather jacket off the back of her chair and headed towards the exit, her footsteps echoing loudly through the office.
When the cool Maine air hit her, she let out a deep breath. She knew she shouldn't have said any of what just came out of her mouth, but she'd been bursting to let it out for the last week. Almost every time she looked at Graham, she thought of that night and the horror she had felt at her discovery.
Yeah, she and Regina were divorced, as Graham never failed to remind her, but that didn't mean that she had stopped caring about Regina. It didn't mean that she was alright with Regina screwing random people, especially people she worked with. People with scruffy beards and deep, Irish accents. She definitely wasn't okay with that.
She pulled on her jacket roughly and started towards her car, willing herself to think of anything else for the rest of her shift.
...
"Graham, not now," she practically growled at the sheriff.
It wasn't even nine yet, and already she could tell that her day was going to be a bad one. She had felt Graham's eyes following her since she had walked into the office some twenty minutes ago, knowing he wanted to talk about their argument the previous afternoon. But with him standing in front of her desk, the last thing she wanted was to revisit the reason for her current headache.
"I just wanted to apologize for yesterday-"
"I said not now. Or ever. How about we just never talk about that ever again?" She stood up suddenly from her desk, bringing her closer to eye level with the sheriff. He seemed uncomfortable, the same way he'd been acting every day since Emma had found out about his affair with Regina.
"We can't keep working together like this."
"Sure we can. You stay on your side of the room, I'll stay on mine. We only talk when it's strictly necessary. Problem solved." She gave him a fake smile, causing him to grimace in return.
"Emma-"
"Look, I'm gonna go out, get a coffee. And when I get back, we're gonna pretend like I never saw you that night, ok?" She grabbed her coat off the back of her chair and pulled it on with more force than necessary.
"I don't think I can do that."
She glared at him. "Try. Hard." Her voice was low, and she knew that if he were anyone else, she would feel guilty for being so bitchy. But he wasn't anyone else. He was still the guy who was fucking her ex-wife.
Without waiting for a response, she headed towards the front door, knowing that when she came back she would have to curb the attitude. As much as she didn't want to talk to Graham, she knew they still needed to remain civil for the sake of their jobs. If they were gonna catch Storybrooke's resident petty thief, they had to work together.
Exiting the sheriff's station, she turned in the direction of the diner, zipping her jacket up to protect her from the cold. Glancing around the station's parking lot, she froze when she noticed Regina's Mercedes parked next to her Bug. A beat passed before the driver's side door opened, and Regina climbed out of the car.
When their eyes met, Emma felt her heart betray her, a slight tremble run through her hands. She quickly shoved them into her pockets and took in a deep breath, praying to whatever deity that was up there that this conversation be a painless one. She forced herself to meet Regina halfway across the parking lot, her heartbeat pounding with each step.
"Deputy."
She gave her ex a forced smile. "Madam Mayor." If Regina was going the formal route, then she would too. The brunette raised an eyebrow at her in question, but Emma refused to acknowledge it. "Can I help you with something?" She did her best to sound normal, but there was no denying the hint of attitude in her tone.
Regina eyed her carefully, taking a step closer. "I was actually coming to speak with the sheriff about something, but there is a matter I'd like to discuss with you. I spoke with Graham yesterday, and he hinted that there was some tension in the office between the two of you. You want to tell me what's going on?"
Her jaw clenched automatically at the mention of the sheriff, her hands balling into fists inside her pockets. "Graham's been talking to you about me?"
"It's my job as mayor to know if there are problems in the sheriff's office."
"Funny, I don't remember that in the job description." She wanted out of this conversation and fast, before she said something she would regret. "Look, Regina, it's been a bad day so far, and I've got things I have to do, so can we please not do this right now?"
Regina only stared at her in surprise. Taking a step closer, her voice lowered in volume, she asked, "what's going on with you?"
Of course she wasn't going to leave it alone. "Nothing."
"You honestly think I'd believe that there's nothing going on considering the way that you've been acting this past week? I've known you for fifteen years, Emma. I know you better than that."
She felt herself snap at Regina invoking their history together. Their history that didn't even matter anymore, now that Regina had apparently moved on with the first warm body to cross her path. "I don't care what you believe, alright? I don't care what you do, or what you say, or who you screw at night when our son is sleeping down the hall." Regina's eyes went wide, lips parting in surprise. "Whatever. It's your life now. Feel free to do whatever the fuck you want." Turning away, she started again in the direction of the diner. She needed out of this and now. When she felt fingers wrap around her arm, she quickly spun back around to face Regina. "What?"
Regina flinched at her tone, a hint of anger in her eyes. Her voice dropping an octave, she said, "I don't know what it is that you think you know about my life, but I can assure you that you're wrong."
"Really? So you're not fucking Graham then?" Regina froze, eyes growing wide in shock. "That's what I thought." Emma turned back towards the diner, wanting to get as far away from the situation as possible.
"Don't you dare walk away from me, Emma."
Regina's voice was low, threatening. If Emma hadn't known better, she would've guessed that Regina wanted to tear her to shreds. Turning back around, she found her ex studying her, eyes burning with anger. In the fifteen years Emma had known Regina, she'd never seen Regina so pissed off before. She took in a sharp breath of air, Regina's fury starting to pull her out of her own. Realization dawning on her, she quickly grew nauseous.
What the hell did she just do?
"Regina-"
"You have no right to judge me." Her voice cracked under the pressure of her anger, something that Emma knew happened only when she was more hurt than furious. "You haven't exactly been a saint yourself, leaving town, abandoning our son. Walking out on our marriage." Pain flared in Regina's eyes but was just as quickly extinguished. "So don't you dare think that you have the moral high ground on this one, Emma, because I can assure you, you don't."
She stood dumbfounded, her mouth hanging open just slightly, heart racing in fear. This was not supposed to happen. Regina was not supposed to find out that she knew. They weren't supposed to be fighting anymore. Their eyes locked, Emma hoped that Regina could see how much she regretted this conversation, how sorry she was for fucking everything up.
Once again.
She tried to find something to say, but before she could get any words out, Regina had taken a step backwards, giving a small shake of her head to quiet any protests Emma could summon up from within. She could tell that Regina's anger had already dissipated, leaving the pain in her eyes exposed for Emma to see.
Emma had never hated herself more than she did in that moment.
With another step backwards, Regina turned and started back towards her car.
Emma felt the panic rising within her, knowing that if she let Regina walk away like that, there would be no coming back for them. She had to fix this and it had to be now. "Regina, wait!" She called out. She didn't know what she was going to say, but when Regina came to a stop, her heart leapt in her chest.
Regina turned halfway around, her eyes never meeting Emma's. She said softly, her words barely loud enough for Emma to hear them, "I'm done, Emma. I'm not doing this with you." She continued across the parking lot, getting into her car with a grace that Emma envied. Even in the worst moments of her life, Regina still had enough poise to make it seem like she was just as together as ever.
Emma watched as the car rumbled to life and roared out of the parking lot, disappearing around the corner, taking her every hope with it.
A/N #2: Please don't hate me... Normally I wouldn't explain a plot point like this, but I want to soothe any doubts about this story. At the beginning, this story started out as an AU version of some of the events that happened in the show. It started with Emma coming to town, Regina not being happy about it, Emma finding about Henry being troubled, then her moving in with Mary Margaret, all of which also happened on the show. And this chapter is just an extension of that.
Emma finds out that Regina and Graham have been sleeping together for a while. It predates Emma coming to town just like in the show. And I have no plans to have Graham be in any of the other chapters as of yet- though he might pop up in one scene- so this has nothing to do with him. It will absolutely not become a love triangle story. There will be fallout from this, but this story is a Swan Queen story through and through. There will be a happy ending, I promise. This is just a bump on the road that our ladies need to work through.