Beth sat on the edge of Shawn's bed, watching her big brother pack.
"How long do you think you'll go for?" Beth asked as he stuffed far too many clothes into a duffel bag. Shawn shrugged, picking the bag up and shaking it in an effort to create more room.
"Six months maybe? If I like it, I might stay," he replied, dumping the bag on the floor and zipping it up with difficulty. "Do ya have a bag I could borrow?" He asked.
Beth rolled her eyes. "Just take a garbage bag," she said, getting up from the bed. She quickly went downstairs and grabbed the roll from out of the drawer, and jogged back upstairs to Shawn's room.
"Here."
Shawn thanked her as he took the roll of plastic bags. He had only told her the night before that he was leaving, a job finally opening up where Jimmy was working over in Macon. Beth had been taken by surprise that he was leaving straight away, but he seemed adamant on going as soon as he could. He was going to crash at Jimmy's place till he found a room to rent of his own.
"You should leave too." Shawn spoke up, ripping a bag off the roll as Beth sat back down on his bed heavily.
"Leave?" Beth repeated. She shook her head. "I don't wanna leave Daddy here all by himself," she said.
"It'll happen one day," Shawn told her. "It'd be good, you could move in with some friends, near the city. Less travel. Fresh start."
Beth nodded, smiling at the idea. "I know, but I'm not sure I'm ready to leave yet," she shrugged. Shawn paused in the midst of throwing socks in the bag, glancing at his younger sister.
"It's like sometimes I want to leave and find somewhere new, and sometimes the thought of leaving here scares the heck outta me," she confessed, her smile fading as she spoke to her brother. Shawn sat down on the bed next to her.
"Bethy, its just Macon. You can call me whenever, and we'll still message each other. It's just like Maggie," he put his arm around her and she leaned against him. When Maggie had moved out, she had been a mess. Beth had been a bit younger then, nearly fifteen. She had tried not to cry but in the end it was all she did while Maggie had moved her stuff into her car. This time was a little different. She didn't have quite the same relationship with Shawn as she did with Maggie, but she would miss him greatly once he was gone.
"Just think, the house will be so much cleaner now that I'm gone," Shawn said, nudging her. Beth laughed, nudging him back.
Once he had finished packing, Beth helped him move his bags on to his truck and Hershel gave his son a fierce hug.
"You take care," Hershel said quietly to Shawn. "Call me when you get there."
Shawn nodded, and Beth could have sworn he looked like he was going to start crying for a second, but then he was turning towards her and it was gone.
Beth gave him a hug, and held on tight for a moment before he was turning towards his truck.
Hershel put his arm around his daughter and they waved good-bye as Shawn drove away.
Once he was gone, they walked slowly back inside, their arms linked.
.
Later that afternoon, Beth started preparing dinner. Daryl was coming over at 6:30, and Beth wanted everything to go smoothly. She had decided that they would just have steak sandwiches. It seemed like a safe choice for Daryl, and she knew her father liked them too.
She was going to prepare all the toppings and cook some fries while Hershel would cook the steaks on the barbecue. She chopped up the lettuce, tomato and onions and put them back in the fridge before cutting up the potatoes. At one point the phone rang, and Beth answered it to hear Shawn's voice, saying he'd gotten to Macon. Hershel was out in the fields so she told him to ring his cell, knowing that he'd like to hear it from his son. She breezed through the house, dusting and sweeping. If she stopped for a second she would acknowledge that Daryl probably didn't care what their house looked like, but the thought of her father eating dinner with Daryl stressed her out a little, strangely not because of Daryl but because of her father.
It was close to 6 when Hershel knocked on her door. Beth was attempting to do some of her assignment, which was due next week, and jumped slightly at the sound.
"Bethy, I have to go see a man about a horse. I shouldn't be too long," he said.
Beth smiled, knowing her father loved to use that phrase (as he meant it literally) and said good-bye.
Beth was actually a little glad that her father wouldn't be there when Daryl arrived, unless he was late again. Beth quickly showered and got dressed in one of her favourite dresses, nothing too dressy but a little nicer than just her old jeans and t-shirt.
The light faded outside quickly and before Beth knew it 6:30 came around. She stood in the kitchen, listening to the silence as she leaned against the counter. Her life only roughly resembled what it had once been a few months ago, when there was always music being played and the sounds of laughter and singing would fill the house. Beth and her mother would always sing together, laugh together and cook together. Usually all at once. Shawn would sometimes join them, not in the singing or cooking, but in the laughing. He was always pinching food while they cooked and throwing bits of food at her when their mother wasn't looking, as though some other invisible person in the room had done it. Once he had insisted that Beth had smeared the mashed potato on herself. Beth still smiled at the memory, although she had been a little annoyed at the time. But now, the house stood silent.
As she leaned against the counter, she could faintly hear the sound of an engine, and she straightened up listening intently. The roar of the engine got louder and she realised it was Daryl's motorcycle coming up the driveway.
Beth reached the front door in time to see the light from his motorcycle approaching the house, and she walked out on to the veranda to greet him. The night air was cool and the wind swirled around her dress.
She waited while he dismounted and took his helmet off. He jerked his head up by way of greeting, walking towards the house. He was wearing his leather jacket, and sporting a nasty bruise on his face, which made her wince slightly. She couldn't help but take in the way he walked, the almost primal stride that he probably wasn't aware of.
"Hey." She smiled a little sheepishly. "Thanks for coming."
He smirked as he got to the stairs, ascending them two at a time. "Thought ya Daddy'd be out here waitin'," he said, glancing around.
"He should be back soon, he got a call. Do ya want somethin' to drink?"
"Got any beer?" He asked dryly.
Beth flushed. "We don't have any alcohol, sorry. We've got juice? Or water?"
He stared at her for a moment before shaking his head.
"Um, well, do ya want a tour? I'll show you the house," she said, gesturing to the door, aware that her face was still red.
He followed her inside, the warmth of the house enveloping them as they walked through the dining room and kitchen, and she showed him where the bathroom was, before they looped around to the living room. He was quiet as they walked through, his eyes seeming to take in every detail of the rooms as she kept a continuing stream of chatter going. At first she wasn't sure if he was listening, but when she mentioned her room upstairs she saw him glance at the staircase.
"So that's it!" She said as he looked around the living room, his eyes pausing on the photos on the wall. Beth walked over to stand next to him.
"That's my brother Shawn," she said, pointing at one of the photos. "And that's my mama," she pointed at another.
Daryl nodded, turning away from the photos and walked over to the piano in the corner.
"You play?" He asked, nudging it with his foot.
Beth hesitated. "A little."
"You got a piano an' you only play a little?" He asked, leaning against the archway.
"Well, I'm not as good as my mama was," she explained softly, her eyes downcast for a moment. "She would play sometimes and I'd sing. I haven't played since."
Her words hung in the air, silence filling the room for a long moment. She could feel his eyes on her.
He lowered his head. "You know… my mum…she liked the wine. She liked to smoke in bed. Virginia slims. I was playin' out with the kids in the neighbourhood. I could do that, with Merle gone. They had bikes. I didn't. We heard sirens gettin' louder."
Beth could feel an ache building in her chest as she stared at him, listening intently. He wouldn't look up.
"They jumped on the bikes, I ran after 'em, ya know, hoping to see somethin' worth seeing. I ran after them but…I couldn't keep up. Ran around the corner and saw my friends lookin' at me. Hell, I saw everyone lookin' at me. Fire trucks everywhere. People from the neighbourhood. It was my house they were there for. It was my mum in bed. Burnt down to nothin'. S' the hard part."
He looked up at long last to meet her eyes. "You know, she was just gone. Erased. People said it was better that way. I don't know. Just made it seem like it wasn't real, ya know?"
She blinked a few times, trying not to cry and just nodded emphatically.
"I'm sorry about your mum," she whispered.
"I'm sorry 'bout your mum," he replied. They shared a moment of mutual understanding, and she remembered him giving her the flowers that day.
"Want me to play somethin'?" She asked.
He shrugged. "If you want."
Beth sat down at the piano, and began playing a few bars of an old song her mum would play. When she sat down, she didn't intend on singing the words, but found it was impossible for her to keep going without doing so. She was just singing the first few words when she heard the front door open, and she stopped playing abruptly, looking around to see her father standing in the doorway.
"Hi Daddy," she smiled.
Hershel was staring at the scene before him, at Daryl, and he glanced over to Beth briefly before looking back at Daryl.
"Daryl," he nodded, holding his hand out.
Daryl wiped his hand on his pants before grasping Hershel's hand firmly, nodding back. "Mr Greene."
"That's some bruise you got there," Hershel stated, nodding to him.
Beth tensed, but Daryl didn't even glance at her. "Minor disagreement," Daryl replied, deadpan. Hershel studied him, before looking at Beth, who was concentrating on her hands in her lap.
"Well, I'll start cooking the steaks then," Hershel said shortly.
After he'd left the room, Daryl mumbled something about having a smoke. After he'd gone outside, Beth made up her mind about something, and followed him out.
He stood just beyond the bottom of the stairs, lighting a cigarette.
He eyed her as she came to a halt next to him, snapping his lighter shut, taking a drag.
"I was thinkin'…I know this ain't your thing. But I really do wanna thank you-"
Daryl shook his head. "'S fine," he cut her off.
Beth blinked. "Daryl, why can't you just let me do something for you? You've been doing something for me," she said, confused.
"Ya don't need to," he muttered.
"But I want to, you're doin' me a favour," she insisted, her voice getting louder. His brow knitted together as he shook his head slowly.
"You don't understand…you don't owe me nothin'." He glared at her for a moment, before looking away, blowing smoke through the night air.
"Why?" Beth demanded, staring up at him. "Give me one reason." She folded her arms across her chest.
Daryl regarded her, his eyes flickering as he drew in a breath. "Merle. Merle…my brother, he landed you that piece of shit car. Does a deal…gets half the cash. He put your family out–"
Beth wrinkled her brow in confusion. "I didn't get that car from your brother," she said slowly.
Daryl sighed, his patience seeming to wear thin. "He did the half ass job! He…"
Beth shook her head. "But…you checked the car…"
Daryl shifted uncomfortably, shaking his head. "Knew the second I saw it," he mumbled, biting his thumb.
Beth stared at him. "I watched you check it."
He shrugged. "Knew what to look for. Merle an' Martinez…they patch 'em up, get half the cash. I do…owe ya," he continued, bowing his head. Beth could feel her heart crumbling.
"Daryl…you don't owe me anything, you don't own your brother's debts," she said gently, taking a step closer to him.
"You…and your family…you ain't ever gonna get anythin' outta my brother." He stated flatly, his tone bitter.
"That doesn't mean you have to pick up after him, he isn't your responsibility." Beth said soothingly, shaking her head.
He wavered, seeming to lean towards her slightly.
Beth took another small step towards him. "You didn't do this," she said softly but firmly.
"I've done it before," he admitted quietly, before angling away from her. Beth paused, but only reached out to place her hand lightly against his forearm. He shifted his arms and Beth lowered her hand.
"Because he's your family. He's your boss." Beth saw that he was wrestling with himself. "You are your own person, and you are a good person, I know it." She leaned in to look directly into his eyes.
That must have been the wrong thing to say, because he shook his head and stepped away, his eyes suddenly fierce. "You don't know nothin'," he said vehemently, as he backed away, throwing his cigarette down.
"Daryl, I –" Beth started, but he was already walking away. Beth stared after him as he mounted his bike, the engine starting a second later. The tyres skidded against the dirt before he drove away.
The sound of footsteps approaching brought Beth's attention away from the empty scene in front of her, and she turned to her father with a hesitant smile, a lump forming in her throat.
"Beth?" He asked, looking concerned. "What happened?"
"Nothing, it's fine," she said quickly, not quite meeting his eyes before she walked back into the house. She was clearly lying, but Hershel didn't follow her.
Beth's smile disappeared as she ascended the steps. While she may be willing to overlook the Dixon's activities, there was no way on earth her family would. Or the Sheriff, for that matter. They had oxygen; all they were looking for was the spark. Merle Dixon was already in prison but Beth wouldn't give anyone any reason, no matter how small, to look at Daryl. Beth was sure the longer Merle Dixon was away, the more Daryl would come out from under his influence. Beth had brushed it off; she'd implored him to believe in himself despite his previous misgivings. At her core, that's what she wanted to believe.
Beth wondered if it had happened before, a car they had fixed up appearing right back in their garage to be fixed. She had a strong feeling that it had, but probably not often. All under Merle Dixon's watchful eyes, reaping in the money. She shut the door to her room, and sat down on her bed. While Beth saw Daryl Dixon as a strong, alpha male, there was no doubt in her mind that he would follow his brother to the ends of the earth, even to their doom. That was while Merle Dixon was around. When he wasn't around, the cracks started to appear, letting slivers of light shine through. She recalled what he said, about when he was younger: "I could do that, with Merle gone." Beth surmised the only thing that challenged Daryl's loyalty to his brother was the shame he felt in doing the things he did, the things Merle told him to do.
Beth swung her legs up on to the bed, curling up into herself. She suddenly felt very cold.
A/N: Thank you to everyone who has followed, favourited, read and reviewed so far!