Chapter 11 Awkward Day
By: Flareingfira and Kiwiri
It happened to be 1:00 am in the morning and Roxas was somewhere in the depths of Dreamland.
His cows weren't for as soon as Roxas slept of, the cows were rudely awakened by the sound of (what sounded like ) rocks been thrown into the window.. It had been going on for the past two hours yet the noise did not stop. They did desperately want to wake up Roxas but that would mean no breakfast. So the some 50 odd cows agreed that they would have to solve the problem themselves.
Daisy, the eccentric bold leader of the CoW organization, was lecturing the complainers of the group who desperately wanted to wake up their caretaker. Being a CoW of Scandinavian roots, she naturally lectured the CoWs with her dialect of the CoW language. It was noticeably different but the others were used to it by now.
"Moo" Daisy spoke.( don't you just love her dialect)
The complainers understood.
"Moo"
She explained the plan of action and the CoWs initiated it.
Being secret agents they were trained for these things and were even able to not wake Roxas up.
Daisy ordered some of the agents to quietly open the window catch the rocks and savagely injure the thrower with them. Yes, behind their odd demeanor lies a very savage soul. Nevertheless they began to do what they were told.
Three CoWs opened the window with sheer gas power from their behinds. ( after all gassy cows and CoWs cause 4-10 of the world's Carbon dioxide problem. It's true!). For some reason the soon to be victim did not take not of the green gas that come from the window and kept throwing. The agents were catching the rocks until the person stopped. The CoWs were in their positions and ready to injure their target. They savagely blasted the rocks with their cannons they apparently Roxas allowed in his room.
After hearing some painful sounds they decided that the enemy was achieved. Roxas congratulated them by rolling in his bed. The CoWs were inspired to move on some how. The agents in their four legged ninja suit climbed down a rope from the second story window. They CoWs searched the area but could not find their target, however they did find a letter addressed to Roxas. The dissapointed CoWs hurried back to their room, fixed the window, placed the letter on Roxas' desk and went to sleep.
At last morning came. Roxas was having a dream where he was golfing against his Scottish obsessed father who turned into underwear and was making the CoWs hungry. Roxas realized that it was breakfast time. He woke and went to a dairy cow pattern painted on it and opened it. It had lacy underwear in it. Roxas threw some on the floor and the CoWs gulped them with in minutes. ( the again 50 odd CoWs...)
Roxas got ready and went downstairs. The CoW have forgotten to tell Roxas about the letter.
When Roxas went into the kitchen, he simply ate a bowl of bhot jolokia. To Roxas it looked like a fruit. It even tasted like it. Why on earth would he eat the hottest chili in the world only struck when felt the heat on his tongue. He was many the oddest of all facial expressions that looked like a primate. He literally felt like he was dieing and tried to drink some water and it still didn't work. If it hadn't been for Axel, Roxas would have no hope of saving his tongue. While Roxas was trying to put the heat down, Axel cooled it down with some milk which he sprayed on Roxas's tongue. The heat on his tongue subsided and he felt great relief but was also in shock to see Axel.
"Axel?...Thanks for saving me! You are most definitely one of my best friends" Roxas was very grateful for Axel,s knowledge of handling chili pepper heat.
"You're welcome Roxas. After all that was my chili you just ate. One of my current favourites..." Axel replied followed by a moment of silence.
It almost seemed that Axel was expecting Roxas to say something. He just kept staring at Roxas who was getting more milk from the fridge. Axel then glumly looked at the ground with a sigh.Roxas noticed this and asked like a caring friend.
"Why so glum Axel? Don't tell me you and Larexne had a fight again."
"Do I truly look sad? Maybe that could be the reason..." Axel stared at Roxas with a sorrowful face.
"Roxas I have a love problem."he admitted.
"Really? " Roxas mumbled while drinking a glass of milk, sorta impossible though.
" Yeah----" Axel was cut off after Roxas drank the glass of milk and put it on the counter.
"Don't tell me. You like someone else..." Roxas asked with a cunning smile.
" Yes, yes! That's exactly it! But you see...I don't think they know or is even aware."
At that moment Naminé came downstairs.
"Good morning Roxas!"she then noticed Axel there.
" Oh good morning Axel!"
They both greeted her with a good morning as well.
Roxas turned to Axel and insisted that he continue. Axel quickly changed the subject.
"A fangirl of yours gave me this love letter to you. You don't have a girlfriend right?" Axel said casually.
"No..." Roxas answered slowly.
Axel could see that Naminé became stiff.
" Well you might as well take this then." Roxas took the letter which Axel was holding out and noticed its striking similarity to the other love letters he's been receiving a few weeks ago.
"Thanks." Roxas thanked Axel with a bit of hesitation," What was her name?"
Axel just shrugged and shook his head.
"What did she look like?!" Roxas sounded desperate to know the truth.
"Couldn't see anything. I was taking a midnight stroll in town...Don't remember where though..."
Roxas looked a bit disappointed and naturally suspicious of that answer, "Axel you told me that you didn't like the midnight coldness. Infact thanks to you, we didn't celebrate Halloween!" Axel was silent. "Anybody want pancakes???" Roxas sighed and went back to the thing he SHOULD be thinking about right now. He was really close to finding out who she was. He thought maybe he should ask Naminé. She has friends... wow that's cool I wish I had friends (roxas thinking hasn't seen Olette and ppl since that card game incident all he's seen
"Well see you around." With that Axel left through a portal.
"Yeah." Roxas responded somewhat glumly.
He turned to Naminé to ask about the letter but to see the CoWs puling and eating the lace at the bottom of her dress.
"Roxas, did my dress get heavy or something? And what odd place to keep a cow carpet"
"CoW..." Roxas corrected quietly. He realized that wasn't really the point."Oh... the Cows were eating your underwear all the time" Roxas said sounding like hey, every girl gets there undies eaten by Cows every day, nothing new!
"I luv ♀'s undies!!!" Hayner said peeking his head through the window. Olette's screaming was heard moments later. She threw her unopened can of Red Bull at him, He was naturally out cold but it somehow get inside the house. Everyone stared at it like it was some freakish garbage melancholy alien thingy (atleast that's how Roxas literally lableled.) Roxas stuck the post it on it covering the RED BULL printed on it.
"Why'd you do that?" namine asked.
"Daisy goes mad on this garbage alien melancholy junk..."
"If you're trying to hide that it's the garbage alien melancholy thingy... why'd you even label it that to let her know it was that...?" Namine asked.
"..." Roxas was silent, "Do not question my tactics mortal."
"..." Namine stood ther. Then suddelny RIP her dress was ripped off by a cow. Then CoW war # 56789.21 had begun.
Yet again: a list of the things they war about...
milk (they can make it... but come one FGHTS ARE COOL!)
who does the laundry (they wanted to do it. Oo)
Namie's undi... (no comment)
Cloud's sword (pointless because in the end, they couldn't bring it back home... let alone use it.)
a stapler... ( that was during the Tool wars era ... it's a CoW thing don't ask.)
curd. (they wanted to be Little Ms Muffet's spider friend... for unknown reasons... cough she was wearing a lacy dress cough
a car... (liked the idea of hydrolics... probably inspired by that milk commercial)
Note: all of these happened again and again despite that the lessons they learned from their journeys.
Roxas was quite slow in doing so but he needed something to react on so ... he drank some milk and spit it out on Namin... well it helped right... not so bare... Namine blinked and ran away upstairs.
"Moo." Daisy asked. (what's eating her)
"You"Roxas replied. Daisie's eyes widened. Roxas looked behind him. A CoW was Taking the freakish garb-- I mean Red Bull.
"Put... It... Down" Roxas said.
"Moo." (make me...) Roxas gasped.
"Calli??? You're back from Calllifornia?"Roxas paused.. "And you're still wearing that CoW utter hat..Why do you wear it so much?"
"Moo."
"I'll let you wear the utter hat and eat NORMAL grass if you just put the can down..."
"Moo." (make me)
"Stupid Broken record... I WILL! Roxas ripped his shirt off (not necesserary). And he took the Red Bull (with his mouth for some reason though he has arms)
Then he ran upstairs and into Namine's room Namine blushed and threw underwear at him for defense... gotta think fast right? The he realized when in covered in underwear, well I don't have lingirie in my room... well I dunno but still my coWs are mutant not my underwear... or someone else's underwear. So that must mean... it's not my rooom!
Then he ran to his room. In order to hide his Red Bull or frekish garbage whatever he calls it...
But he saw two letters. One on the floor (he dropped it on the way running because somehow it got stuck onto butt during the evnts downstairs the letter that Axel gave it to him) Please don't tell me spam e-mail about Roxas's sticky butt... or the sticky letter. Or just Axel's sticky hands... wait that means he touched Roxas'... oh my god.
Roxas read that one first.
Dear Beloved Roxas,
You are like a pen that is green
You are not mean
You are lean
You are really squeaky clean.
You are thew universe compared to Mr. Bean.
In middle school you took care of the canteen.
And you were on the cover of Sweet Sixteen.
Oh wait you're Fifteeeeen.
Spider gue... it's green. (did you know)
BYYYYE,
Your wife,
Keep guessing more and more everyday...
(That's still not my name btw hope you like that poem one of my best works)
Ps.
Kissing is healthy.
PS.S
I saw a spider on a log the other day! (Thought you should know)
PSSS.
Kitchen-Aid sells OVENS! did you know??? By the way, don't send me a oven just because; I know you love me already that you'd want to send me a oven but... I love ovens but.. DONT SEND ONE!! I REALLY WANT ONE. BUT DON"T GIVE ME ONE. NOOO DON"T OK??? WHATEVER YOU DO DON"TGETME A COOL KITCHEN-AID OVEN ESPECIALLY THE REALLY NEW EXPENSIVE ONE..!!!! I REAPEAT NO OVEN...!!!!!!!
Roxas paused with a sweatdrop. "is she trying reverse psychology on me or what? Well she didn't leave an address or anything so I guess no oven!" Roxas smiled, he wasn't too interested in this girl.
Roxas threw it out. Sort of dissappointed at the really bad poetry. Then he looked over at his desk. There was another letter.
Dear Roxas,
Last night I was:
Throwing rocks at your window,
But your cows just came to know,
I was just going to go (if you know what I mean)
on your lawn...
la la la la la
Elephantas mice and bees. (they're cool)
Here I'm begging on my knees.
I wish that someday we'd meet.
When you actually knew...
When you see...
who I really am...
la la la la la
Do you know what I'm talking about,
When I say I wish you were out.
I was waiting out side your house
She's like the cat and I'm mouse.
I remember when I touched your a
It all happened so fast.
La la la la la la
la ka ka I mean la la la
(Give me a break I'm using a typewriter)
(Oh btw not part of the song)
anyway... I wish you could hear my splendorful singing and motorcycle while you read this but wtf.
(If you watch Indian commercials you'll know what I mean)
Oh by the way that motorcycle... don't buy it for my it's a good brand I want it but... DON"T GET IT FOR ME OK? I REPEAT NO MOTO CYRLCA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love XOX,
Your wife
Roxas stood in silence. He got the idea that ... this wasn't Naminé anymore. (should've caught that one letter ago.)
"I think I need sleep Roxas said spitting out the Red Bull in his mouth and flushing it down the toilet (somehow) He believed that if you flushed food down the toilet it's either the moggles down there would get it or the sewer workers would... never came to him that it would get lost in the scum...
Another day another mystery. The time was 12:30 pm and Roxas was ready to forget the letters and move on by eating some delicious lunch!
To be continued.
Flareingfira writing! Sorry for not updating for almost a year...Me and my sister had many things to do. And I'm also sorry for any grammatical mistakes that we put in here. I wrote the beginning while my sister wrote the end. But most of the jokes and plot we both thought it up together for the whole story. They were mostly from last year when we planned them out. My sister wrote of the middle parts from the midnight stroll thing... after the letters ... it's me again!