Back to our favorite moron ever ==

"So what's your story?" you ask, after having gone through every trivial detail of your life including your favorite and least favorite kinds of pasta.

"Me?" Feliks smirks. "I'm just a wannabe canary from an Apple in Michigan who was behind on the grind. I liked it all the way and I was trying to learn to play the gobble-pipe. I was known for a positively electric honey cooler and my aim with a Chicago typewriter. My best pally was a guy named Toris. He was a bit of a curve and a dead hoofer at times, but he was one fine pip and hard boiled, though it was sort of hard to tell.

"We were out and about on the streets none too far from this speakeasy, and this vampire chisler shows up, offerin' us protection from the brunos of the night. Toris was always a bit of a coward, and accepted after some bleedin'. I, however, was not so easy to persuade. That cat had the bulge on us, however, and I barely escaped with my life. Toris was not so fortunate.

"They got him, and he's working for them now, and it was a real brodie to just let him go with them. Good riddance, I say now! He was such a drag and a real wet blanket and a total abercrombie and he never appreciated what a fine moll he had in me and all I can say is he deserves to be a soulless creature of the night and- oh god I miss him!" Feliks exclaims, breaking down into tears.

Be a Good source of comfort ==

"Aw, I'm so sorry!" you say, patting his back. "Hey... the vampire's name wasn't Ivan, was it?" you ask. You remember those two talking about a Toris.

"As a matter of fact, it was." Feliks says through his tears.

"That was the name of the vampire who attacked me!" you say. "Small world, hmm?"

Feliks keeps on crying.

"Come now, I'm sure we'll be able to get this mess sorted and reunite you with Toris!" you say. "I bet he isn't even Wicked! After all, that super nice vampire I was telling you about works as kind of a double-agent and he's really Goodhearted! I bet if you're instinctively Good or have excellent self-control, then you don't become Wicked as a vampire!"

"I ain't worried about that!" Feliks says. "I'm worried about what those no-Good crumbs are doing to him! Toris was always so sweet and such a doormat! And I never liked the way Ivan would look at him! Toris always protected me but I can't do the same for him! I love him, dammit! And I know he never felt the same, seeing how he would look at that Natalya broad like she was an angel on earth, but I still want to do something for him!"

You give Feliks a hug.

"Don't worry. I'm gonna make sure everything works out in the end." you say. "Tino wouldn't let anyone hurt another nice vampire, and I can give you directions on how to get to the area where I was living. Those vampires aren't too far from there, so you can go and rescue Toris."

"Really?" Feliks hiccups. "That would be so swell of you!"

You spend the next half hour going over directions before you notice Antonio slipping up to the cafe.

Follow that Spaniard! ==

"Hey, think you've got it?" you ask the Pole. He nods. You get up and follow Antonio.

You find him and Lovi sitting across from each other, Antonio is talking at him and Lovino is just staring.

"And that's why turtles are my favori- oh hi, Feli!" Antonio says to you, waving you over. You sit down, forming a kind of triangle with the three of you.

"Hi, Toni! Hi Lovi!" you say. Lovi does not respond. "I missed you..." you tell him. "A lot. No one could ever be an overly-protective-yet-cowardly-foul-mouthed older brother like you were."

Lovi flips you off, which is more of a reaction than you've ever gotten from his zombie self.

"He just gave me the finger!" you exclaim. "He's starting to act like himself again!"

"Huh, really? He's quite a character..." Antonio remarks. Lovino glares at him.

"He's reacting really well!" you say. "Zombies don't usually take offense to things, you know!"

"I wonder why he isn't like the rest of them?" Antonio asks.

"Lovi was always very unique~" you say in a teasing tone. "He would yell at me a lot, and I think he picked up his bad habit of swearing from Mathias, and he really loved tomatoes... he remembered our Grandpa a lot better than I do, and would tell me stories about him!"

"Oh, how sweet!" Antonio says. "I hope we figure out a way around this zombie thing so I can get to know you properly, Lovi!"

And then two words falls out of your brother's dead mouth. You and Antonio both jump in shock, staring at Lovi like he just turned into a unicorn. Two sad, unpracticed words that might have one or a hundred meanings.

"Why me?"

G-A-S-P ==

It's A Small World comes from Disneyland.

I hope that song is now stuck in your head.

Hey, a new chapter posted so soon after the last one? What is this, Sparta? I'm kinda on a roll here with writing chapters and decided to celebrate by posting this earlier than planned.

Can you decipher any of what Poland's saying?