A/N: So I'm back from Cardiff with a new chapter :) I saw so many sights! I even went to the real Bad Wolf Bay! I took tons of pictures, you can see my first ever avatar is me sitting on 'Dalig Ulv Stranden' :D

Yays :) thanks once more for your patience with my slow updating! Thanks so much for all the lovely reviews!

Chapter 11

Slipping From Existence

Rose gasped, her hands coming to her mouth in shock.

"Doctor… what happened?" her voice wavered as she took in the sight before her.

They had landed in Cardiff Bay- just outside where they knew the Torchwood base to reside- but if weren't for the distinctive water tower and the remains of the millennium centre they might not have recognised it.

The city stood in ruins; the streets were devoid of life, and covered in rubble and broken glass. Smoke emitted from abandoned cars and houses, all windows shattered to allow the elements to wreak havoc on their interiors. The Doctor didn't say a word, but merely stepped out slowly towards the bay, moving away from the TARDIS.

"Doctor!" Rose pleaded with him to explain, grabbing his arm to stop him from walking away. He slowly turned around to face her, and she saw the turmoil in his eyes. The colour had drained from his skin, and he opened his mouth as if to say something, but couldn't seem to find the words. Rose swallowed as she felt the Doctor's grief flow into her from those one sparkling eyes.

Suddenly she saw the Doctor's eyes dart upwards to a point somewhere just behind her, but before she could look to see what he had seen he had grabbed her and pulled her away.

"Look out!" he yelled urgently, and no sooner had they ducked, than she felt a rush of air pass over her head. She became aware of a dark shape swooping low around them, a blur out of the corner of her eye.

"What the hell was that?" Rose yelled, looking about wildly for the mysterious form. When her eyes fixed upon the source, her heart plummeted. There, soaring high above them like a vulture circling its prey, was that unmistakeable bat-like shape.

A reaper.

It's viciously sharp, scythe-like tail curved around its body, intense red eyes burning into hers. She could feel it looking at her, and she knew why. Her stomach dropped with the sinking realisation of what the presence of this creature meant. She was horrified by it, knowing that if she continued to stand there it would soon lunge for her, and yet she felt transfixed by its penetrating gaze, feeling as though it was staring straight into her soul.

It seemed to spot her vulnerability, and with a screech it dived at them again, taking advantage of the opportunity. Before she knew it the Doctor had grabbed her hand, and pulled her away swiftly towards the millennium centre.

"Quick! Get inside!" he urged her, gesturing at the broken glass front of the building. They hurried inside its once grand interior, just as the reaper was at their heels. Rose couldn't help but think that the smashed doors wouldn't keep them safe for long, but for now the low hood of the building front seemed to have kept the reaper from flying in after them.

Rose jumped as she heard a shuffling sound behind them, and suddenly became aware of many pairs of eyes watching them nervously. A few stragglers had also sought refuge here, and now peered at them suspiciously from their hiding places. These were the only survivors of the human race, huddled up together, frightened and defenceless. The reapers angry shriek at being defied echoed off the walls, causing them all to flinch and withdraw back out of sight.

The Doctor cautiously peeked out of the building, seeing the foul beast perched atop the water tower like a gargoyle. Rose hesitantly joined his side, and they both nervously watched in suspence to see what it would do next. Once more its burning eyes met theirs, as if daring them to come out and face it. Its tail swished menacingly like a cat waiting to pounce, taunting them.

Abruptly a scream pierced the silence from somewhere in the distance. The reapers attention was instantly stolen, and its head snapped around in the direction of the cries. It hastily took flight, hungrily speeding towards the sound until it had disappeared from their view. A few seconds later the scream was stifled, and Rose felt a chill run down her spine.

She gulped, and the Doctor took a deep sigh, running his hands through his hair agitatedly.

"Reapers…" Rose whispered, barely audible. For a moment the Doctor looked at her sharply, as if shocked that she understood what the creature was, before swiftly realising that in some past life he must have explained them to her. He turned away from her shaking his head, anger suddenly boiling up inside him.

"That means-" Rose began, but the Doctor cut her off, his rage becoming too overwhelming for him to contain.

"WHY WOULD I DO THAT?" he shouted in her face.

"What?" she asked quietly pulling back from the Doctor, confused and startled by his sudden outburst.

"This! All of it!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air, "Why would I have gone through with that? Why would I take that risk knowing what was at stake? I must have known what could happen so why would I do it just for the sake of a human girl I don't even remember?" He panted, trying to catch his breath.

Rose felt sharp tears prickle at her eyes, seeing the fury burning like a wild fire in his eyes like she had once seen in her old Doctor. In reality his anger was fuelled by his fear. He couldn't understand why he would give so much for her because he didn't know the relationship they had had. As far as he was concerned he would always choose the greater good over a single person, so this broke all of his own rules.

He hadn't been able to see himself ever loving again, so why would he have done this for her? It was more than just fear of the consequences of what he'd done, he was frightened of how much this simple human meant to him.

The Doctor's words tore through Rose's heart, not simply because of the way he referred to her so coldly, but because it was now she fully understood what was happening.

It was all her fault.

Her fault the Doctor had had his memories altered. Her fault the world was now coming to an end. Her fault he was now fading from existence.

Rose drifted out into the open space like a ghost, no longer caring if she was picked off by a reaper.

"So all of this… is because of me…" she said desolately, a numbness taking over her body. Her words slowly sunk into the Doctor's mind, bringing him to his senses and pulling him from his rage. He felt his anger diminish as he gazed at her despairing form, tears shining in her eyes as she stood amongst the wreckage.

He felt a fresh wave of guilt wash over him, realising that he had accused her when really it was all his fault. He hadn't meant to blame her. He stepped out after her, approaching apprehensively.

"What do you mean, I did this." He said softly, and she turned to face him.

"But you wouldn't have done it if it weren't for me," she responded stubbornly, her voice shaking as tears began to escape her eyes.

And suddenly as he looked into her shimmering brown eyes, for reasons he couldn't explain the Doctor understood. He knew why he had done it. He had done it so that he could be reunited with this amazing person. This beautiful, brave, and brilliant girl who stood before him. He may not still fully understand who she was or why he was feeling these emotions but somehow he knew that he would go to the ends of the universe for her, and he wasn't about to give in now.

"Rose Tyler…" He gave her a sad smile despite the situation, taking her hand in his. "This is not your fault, none of it. I won't let you take the blame for my mistakes. I'm sorry for what I said, I didn't mean it. I was just scared but that's no excuse." Rose squeezed his hand tighter. "We'll get through this. Trust me." He said firmly, and for a second she almost believed him. That was until he suddenly gasped as the relentless pain ripped through his head once more.

"No! Doctor!" She cried as the Doctor sank to the floor, clutching his head. No matter what the Doctor said she did have a part to play in this mess, and she couldn't watch the Doctor suffer because of her.

"R-rose…" he gasped reaching desperately for her hand.

"Doctor… hold on," Rose sat down next to him, holding him close. "What can I do? How can I help you Doctor?"

"We… we need to g-get help…" The Doctor wheezed, struggling for breath.

"But who from? What about Jack? This is the Torchwood base right?" The Doctor shook his head.

"They must be gone, they'd have seen us, they'd be here by now," Rose felt her stomach sink. Not Jack too…

"Then who… who is there?" tears rolled freely down her face as she cradled the Doctor.

"D-donna…" the Doctor stuttered as another bolt of agony seared through his mind.

"What? But how can we get to her, you can't fly the TARDIS like this!"

"No… she… she had an idea…" The Doctor took a deep breath as he tried desperately to explain himself, forcing the pain to the back of his mind. "Listen. Time is changing because all of the time I spent with you is being erased, and all of the things I've done since then are being undone because I shouldn't be alive. It's had such a devastating effect on so many timelines that reality itself is unravelling, its trying to mend itself but it can't because the damage is too great. That's why it's taking so long to reach me." There was a distance screech from a reaper, and the Doctor and Rose looked about anxiously.

"I need to remember you Rose! Before it's too late!" The Doctor emphasized frantically.

"But how! Even when you saw us it didn't work, how do I make you remember?" Rose begged him, but before he could answer he screamed again as another blast of pain succeeded in knocking him out cold. He fell limp in her arms and she felt her heart race.

"Doctor? Doctor!" She shook him, praying for him to regain consciousness as her heart beat furiously against her chest. "Please, I can't do this on my own!" But it was no good. She looked about in panic as the cries of the reapers grew closer. She had to get them both under shelter, and fast.

She began to drag the Doctor back towards the millennium centre, as she found herself far closer to it than the TARDIS. Once inside the foyer, she hid them both behind the nearest corner, huddling up close to the Doctor for comfort. She put a hand to his head and realised that despite how cold the rest of him felt, his forehead was very hot. Now it really was like last Christmas when his regeneration had gone wrong.

She carefully laid him down, taking off her jacket and using it to support his head. Nervously she pressed her hand to the left of his chest, feeling for his heartbeat. Feeling a weak pulse, she moved her hand to the opposite side, but felt nothing there. Her own heart skipped a beat. Only one of his hearts was working – he was failing.

Last time all he had required was a simple cup of tea, but now she knew that wouldn't be enough, even if she did have access to one. She racked her brain trying to think of how she could help him. When she had last faced the reapers her father had had to sacrifice himself in order to restore the balance. Perhaps what needed to happen was for her to return to the parallel universe? If it would save his life she knew she would do it without question, but then she realised even if it would fix things she couldn't physically get back there anyway.

She had never felt so alone and helpless in her life.

"Please wake up, please I need you," she whispered into his ear, hugging him close, but he didn't so much as twitch. And then she was crying uncontrollably, unable to bear it any longer.

Now she understood how the Doctor must feel all the time. So alone, watching his loved ones age and pass away. It took her back to that moment, standing outside a café all that time ago.

"I don't age, I regenerate. But humans decay. You whither and you die. Imagine watching that happen to someone that you…" he had trailed off before she could hear the words she so longed to hear him speak.

"What Doctor?" She prompted him, and after a slight pause he continued.

"You can spend the rest of your life with me, but I can't spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on, alone."

That had been the first time she had truly realised quite how deep his loneliness went, but now she understood more than ever. She had been so determined to ensure that he wouldn't be alone anymore that she hadn't even considered what would happen if she lost him.

Living separated from him in the parallel world had been a living hell, worse than she could have ever imagined, but she was able to live on knowing that he was still alive. But now she didn't even have her family to turn to, and the Doctor was dying in her arms all because he had been so lonely that he had risked everything to be reunited with her.

Tears spilled down her cheeks, dripping onto the Doctor's face. She felt the ground shake as chaos consumed whatever life was left in the world, but none of it mattered anymore because the Doctor was her world. She wondered absent-mindedly how far out into the universe this disaster spread, knowing that without the Doctor so many civilisations would have fallen. He had fixed so much, and now it was coming undone because of her.

"Please Doctor… wake up please, help me," Rose continued to whisper into his ear, rocking slightly as it became a desperate mantra.

x x x x x

Somewhere in the darkness the Doctor clinged to life blindly. The only thing that was stopping him from falling into the void was Rose's touch. It was the only thing he was really aware of, the only thing connecting him to the real world.

He could feel time fluctuating and splintering all around him as it strained to correct itself. It was pulling him further and further into the darkness, but he couldn't let go. He was hanging on by a thread which was growing ever finer but still he refused to face that eternal emptiness.

He knew the reapers longed to prey on him – he was their prime target, the centre of all of this chaos. This worried him only for Rose's safety, for he knew that she wouldn't leave his side, and if they found him they'd find her too.

He couldn't go into the void. He couldn't bear it, and there was no way he could let Rose be consumed as well. He couldn't leave her all on her own. He could feel her pain and sorrow as she wept over his fading body, and it pulled at his heart.

He needed to stop this from happening. He needed to save Rose, save the Earth, save time itself from collapsing. The weakness he felt so was so overwhelming but he knew he had to overcome it.

"Doctor… please, don't leave me…"

He heard Rose's words float around in his mind, though he couldn't quite tell where they were coming from.

I won't Rose. He thought resolutely, searching for the warmth of her touch. He latched onto the sound of her voice, focusing on the feel of her arms that were wrapped around his body, holding him tightly.

He gathered together every last ounce of strength left in all that remained of him, using it to climb towards her. She was his light in the dark, his hope when there was nothing else left.

He was the Doctor, he could do this. All he needed was his Rose.

Battling desperately against the pull of the void, he gradually felt Rose's presence grow ever stronger, ever closer.

I'm coming Rose.

A/N: ooo angsty. Sorry guys, rough week. It's actually amazing how happy i feel after getting all of that sadness out of me haha XD

I'm not sure if there's going to be only one or two chapters more. I was aiming for one more and then a short epilogue, but I think it might just end up being only one. I was trying to think of something else to put in this but couldn't / So sorry if this one seemed a bit stretched out! Sorry not much happened in it .

Thanks for reading :D