Author's Note:
Hello, all! This chapter could not have been more fortuitously timed. I thought it was neat when I was looking at the calendar and realized hat this chapter would be posted the Friday before the new year. But that's because I'm a dork like that, lol. Moving on!
I wanted to give a warm thank you to everyone who has favorited and followed this story. An especially big THANK YOU to everyone who left a review for chapter ten: RedFantasies, alexandriasutherland98, RuffRabbit321, nightmooncat, Akuma-Sama2002, and xxvampirebitexx! I am so happy you are all enjoying Sarah's story. Thank you all for your support! It means so much and is an encouragement to me.
Just a little head's up before we begin…I am about to go into an extremely busy time at work, as in I will be working 12-16 hour long days for the next two weeks kind of busy. So, needless to say, because of those demands, I probably won't be able post until January 19. I hate doing that, but I at least wanted to give a heads up before I drop off the face of the earth. I promise I will be back.
Thank you all again for your continued support! Now, on to chapter eleven!
Chapter Eleven: New Year's Eve
The crunching of the frozen ground beneath my feet was the only sound that broke the silence as I made my way down the hill to my father's grave. A steady breeze chilled my cheeks, tingeing my nose and cheeks with pink. Reluctantly, I pulled my hands out of the pockets of Sebastian's coat to yank Finny's scarf closer to my chin. I was impatiently waiting for Nina to return with my new clothes. As grateful as I was for everyone's generosity, I was looking forward to wearing clothes that actually fit me again. Unfortunately, when Nina had last visited she had informed me that she couldn't guarantee when she would have everything done, with the mountain of special orders for Christmas that were demanding her attention. So, it would appear that I would have to be patient and be thankful for what I did have in the meantime…a lesson that life seemed to pester me with lately.
I sighed, my breath billowing from my lips as I caught sight of the oak tree at the back of the plot. If I remembered correctly, Mister Albert had said my father's grave lay directly beside it. I did not want to be here. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Tanaka. He had come into the washing room the other day after I had burnt my hand on the iron and found me crying. Incorrectly assuming mourning my father was the cause of my grief he had attempted to comfort me and would not let me be until I promised I would visit my father's grave at least once. His kindness, though misguided, touched me so that I did not have the heart to correct him. My tears were not from mourning my father nor because of the burn, but rather because I was mourning myself and what my life had become. My heart had sunk with guilt as I listened to Tanaka's sage wisdom. I did not deserve his kindness. Rather, he should have been scolding me for being so selfish and ungrateful, though, I suppose he did not need to as I was doing a pretty good job myself.
I had accepted the steward's advice graciously and, as I had promised, I had been able to secure Sebastian's permission to leave the manor without an escort for two hours, so long as I was armed. He would not allow any more time than that, not with my attackers still at large, but I did not object. If Tanaka hadn't forced me into promising, I wouldn't have acted on his advice.
I didn't have anything to say to my father, no last words that I wished I could speak…not kind and loving words, anyway. Certainly, I had loved my father in a way, but not like a daughter would usually love a father. He had never allowed me to get close enough to know what that parental bond could be and he had hurt me too many times to foster such affections. I don't believe he did so intentionally, but neglect is its own form of pain. I suppose he had loved me, too, in his own way, but I never could be sure. It was my mother and I who had shared that special bond, but when she passed when I was eight, any natural affection died with her. My father wasn't cruel, but he wasn't tender, either. He was a man's man. He had no idea how to cope with a daughter and probably wished, more often than not, that I had been a son. If it weren't for my governess and Angelina, I am not sure what he would have done. Or me, for that matter.
But that was how I found myself standing before my father's grave. Leaves littered the still frozen dirt that marked where his coffin was buried. Some birds had left their droppings on his tombstone, but I did not make any efforts to clean them off. What was the point? I did not care and he certainly didn't, either. My gaze scanned lower on the stone to where his name appeared, Richard Alan Wakefield. The engraving on the stone was in simple, largely carved letters, not the elegant script someone of his status would have normally had. Underneath his name was the inscription "Loving husband and father".
My jaw tightened and my hands clenched as I read the phrase repeatedly. A scoffing laugh escaped my lips as angry tears pricked my eyes.
"Ha! 'Loving husband and father', you say?" I mocked, leering at the gravestone, "Would a loving father criticize his daughter for mourning her mother? Would he separate her from the ones she loved the most? Would he leave her for weeks or months on end with no word? Not even a telegraph?" I paused, hot tears spilling down my cheeks, my voice quivering with pent-up rage, "Would he treat her like she was insane after she was attacked? Tell her to just get over it and move on? Would a loving father be willing to give his daughter up to heinous men, all just to serve Her Majesty? Would he leave her powerless, penniless, with nothing to her name to fend for herself in the face of a cruel and predatory world?"
I trembled, but not from the cold as I stepped closer to his grave, as if to make sure he could hear me, even though I knew he couldn't.
"No," I said, giving answer to my questions, my voice lowered and deceptively calm as I continued, finding I could not hold back the words that issued from my dry lips, "No, he wouldn't. But that doesn't matter anymore because I have a new home. One where people respect me and ensure I am provided for. My friend, Sebastian, I have only known for two months and he has taken better care of me than you ever did. You could only dream to be half the man he is."
All the pain I had repressed throughout the years came bubbling up from within, fueling my fury. I crouched next to his tombstone, my lip quivering as my words twisted, bitter and vengeful, "So you can take all of your lies and lectures and broken promises you used to try to control me…to make yourself irreplaceable. I never needed them. You tried to claim responsibility for my success. But it wasn't you. You didn't give me the strength to make me into who I am today. I did that. I made my own way. So I will do it again. I will make my own way out of the mess you left behind, you son of a bitch. I never needed you."
My breath came out in billowing huffs against the east wind, my chest heaving as I finished. I remained crouched next to his grave, planted in surprise at myself for what I had just spoken. Though I realized, taking a deep breath, I did not feel any remorse for my words. Not because no one had heard, but rather because they were true.
My ears perked as they caught the sound of someone approaching from behind.
"My, that was quite a speech for someone who is dead," a deep voice said.
I sprung up, reaching underneath my skirt to draw a gun from one of my leg holsters and turned, aiming to kill if I must.
"Vicar Rathbone?" I asked in surprise, lowering my weapon as I recognized the elderly pastor.
It had been four years since I had seen the vicar, but, from what I could tell, he had not changed much in that time. He had a few more wrinkles and a little less hair than he used to, but he still carried himself with the same warmly inviting manner I remembered.
"Sorry for startling you," he kindly apologized, not seemed fazed in the least by the fact that I had pulled a gun on him, "I was tending to things about the grounds of the church and I saw you walking down the hill, so I thought I would come to say hello."
I proffered an appreciative smile as I discreetly slid my gun back into its holster. My nose twitched as I sniffed, trying to stop my nose from running. A gentle smile spread across his wrinkled face as he gestured to the small house that sat several meters behind the church at the top of the hill.
"Why don't you come up to my house for a moment? You can warm yourself by the fire and wash your face, if you would like."
I took out the pocket watch Sebastian had lent me, checking the time as I considered the vicar's offer before placing it back in the pocket of the coat.
"That sounds delightful," I answered, my smile mirroring his as I took the arm he had offered, "Though, I cannot stay for long. I am needed back at the Phantomhive manor in an hour."
His brows rose in surprise at hearing the Phantomhive name, "You are staying with Earl Phantomhive? I thought I would never see the day. Not with the nasty business between Lord Phantomhive and your father."
"Well, I'm not staying at the Phantomhive manor as a guest," I gently corrected, "I am employed there as a maid."
"A maid, you say?" he questioned, if possible, seeming more surprised than he did a moment ago, "I was wondering why you were dressed so queer. Now this is a story I must hear."
I chuckled, unable to keep the grin that teased my lips at his enthusiasm, before beginning to tell him how I came to be employed by Ciel. As we ascended the steep hill, I told him of how Angelina and Sebastian had treated my wounds and helped me recover and of all I had learned since I began working. He chortled as I recounted some of the unfortunate accidents that had occurred at the hands of the other servants.
"Oh my," he wheezed, wiping an amused tear from his eye as we stepped into his humble lodgings, "It's a wonder you get any work done with those three about."
"Indeed," I agreed, humor apparent in my voice.
The vicar stomped his feet and blew on his hands as if to shake the cold from his aged bones before going over to the fireplace and adding a few logs to stoke the flames. I removed Sebastian's gloves, tucking them under my arm as rubbed my hands together. I didn't bother shedding the coat or scarf. I would not be staying long enough.
I watched was he went over to his water basin and poured some water from a nearby pitcher into it. Taking a thin cloth in his stubby hands, he dipped it into the basin a few times. As he wrung the cloth, the water droplets fell into the basin, making a pleasant tinkling sound.
"Here," he said, extending the cloth to me, "Take a seat and wash your face. You will feel better."
I thanked him with a soft voice before doing as I was told, choosing a wooden chair which sat close to the hearth. My skin pricked as it dried from where I ran the cool cloth over my face. He was right, though. I did feel much better now that my face was clean again.
"Now, about this business with your father, would you like to tell me more about that?" he prodded, pulling a chair to sit across from me. His brown, grandfatherly eyes held nothing but warmth and genuine compassion as he waited for me to speak.
I averted my gaze, turning to stare at the fire as I replied, "I don't know that there is more to tell than what you heard earlier."
"Surely there must be more," he insisted.
The corner of my mouth twitched with a half hearted smile before I turned back to him.
"I'm afraid there's not. My father was a great many things, good things, even. He was dedicated and loyal, but not to me. The Crown was his one true wife and daughter," I paused, looking down at my lap where I laced and unlaced my fingers, "I remember my mother once telling me that my father was married to his work. I had never imagined how acutely I would come to know the truth of those words."
A sympathetic smile was waiting on his face when I finally looked up at him.
"I'm sure your father was doing what he thought was best."
I stared at him incredulously.
"If you knew half of the things he had done, you would not be able to say that."
"Perhaps," he agreed, for the sake of my argument, the sympathy never wavering from his gaze, "But your words are laced with bitterness and pain. I can tell that, deep down, you are hurting, Sarah. You have been wounded beyond belief. I would advise that you seek the road of forgiveness. It is the only way you will truly heal. Until you learn to forgive your father and others who have harmed you in the past, you will never be able to move forward."
At these words, I took out the pocket watch again, anxious to be leaving. I had come to the vicar's house to warm myself and to share in some amiable conversation, not be preached at.
"I will consider your advice, pastor," I replied, snapping the pocket watch closed and putting it away before sliding my hands back into the oversized gloves, "But I must be going. Mr. Michaelis will have my head if I am not back on time."
Turning my back to him, I placed the cloth on the chair and made my way to the door, turning to say my final farewells to find that the elderly man had followed me.
"It was good to catch up with you," he said with genuine kindness.
"I agree."
"You should come by the chapel sometime. I would enjoy spending more time with you."
I forced a thankful smile as I falsely agreed, "That sounds like a capital idea."
I did not have the time nor desire to enter into the theological discussion as to why I wouldn't be returning to his parish for worship. To put it simply, I believe God and I gave up on each other a long time ago. As I opened the door and made to take my leave, the vicar called my attention back to him as he took my hands in his.
"I don't know when I will be seeing you again, so I will give you my wishes for a blessed and happy new year. I do hope that it holds better things for you than this year did." His voice quivered and looking carefully, I noticed the tears that had welled in his eyes.
My heart swelled from his compassion and I patted his hands gently, whispering hopefully, "As do I."
With that I stepped out from the comfort of Vicar Rathbone's house into the frigid winter wind. The sky was starting to glow with the first hints of sunset. I would need to keep a brisk pace if I wanted to make it back by nightfall. I set off down the hill to the winding path that would eventually lead to the main road.
Perhaps Tanaka had been right in saying that I needed to visit my father. I am sure my visit had not been therapeutic in the way he had intended, but I couldn't help but feel that my heart was a little lighter at having released the burden of those thoughts. My mind dwelled on this for some time until the familiar crunch of a gravel drive interrupted my thoughts.
Pausing as I looked up, I saw where the Phantomhive manor sat at the crest of the hill. Several windows were lit with the glowing light from candles and fires and I knew somewhere inside Tanaka was sitting, drinking his favorite tea and Sebastian was probably bringing Ciel a dessert of confectionary perfection. To be sure, at least one, if not all three of the other servants had found some sort of accidental mischief. An uncontrollably joyous smile spread across my face and I quickened my pace, making my way up the drive with haste. I was anxious return, to be surrounded by the warmth and felicity that I had not felt in some time. Even though two months did not seem like a long time, I had not lied when I was ranting at my father's grave. This was my home.
I squinted as the servant's door was opened, flooding the back grounds in golden light.
"Oh, Sarah! I'm so glad you're back, yes I am," Mey-Rin's nasally voice called to me and, before my eyes could adjust, she grabbed my hand and pulled me inside.
I blinked fast several times until I grew accustomed to the light as she drug me down to the servant's hall.
"Sarah, you're back!" Finny cheered as we entered.
He sat at the table along with Tanaka, who, as expected, was contentedly sipping a cup of tea. Scattered across the top of the table were a wide assortment of ribbons, streamers, bells, and other various decorations. Finny excitedly grabbed fistfuls of ribbon before gesturing them toward me so I could get a better look.
"Would you like to help me put these up? Sebastian said I could decorate this year!" he beamed, his whole face alight with innocent jubilee.
From beside me Mey-Rin huffed and put her hands on her hips.
"Now, Finny, Sebastian said we couldn't decorate until after dinner. Besides, we have too much to do to decorate just yet," she scolded.
My head whipped as I turned to look at the other maid in surprise. Had I just heard correctly? Mey-Rin said we were too busy to placate Finny's desire to decorate for the New Year?
"I thought everything was in order for the day," I stated, though uncertainly. Perhaps something had arisen while I was gone.
Mey-Rin shot me an incredulous look that could have rivaled Sebastian, if it were not for her spectacles.
"Not for New Year's, it isn't," she began, whipping a list from her pocket and extending it toward me, placing the paper as close to my face as she would have needed it to be, "See how long it is? And we only have three hours before dinner!"
I took the paper from her and scanned over the list of to-do's she was convinced needed to be completed for tonight's celebrations. I deadpanned, resisting the urge to cover my face with my hands as I realized that all of these tasks didn't have to be done. It was Mey-Rin's overly active sense of superstition that drove them.
"Mey-Rin, I don't think…-," I started to say, but was cut off when she resolutely pointed to the list.
"Cleaning the hearths has to be done. 'Tis bad luck if you don't."
I sighed softly, before conceding, "Fine. I'll do it."
A look of elation lit Mey-Rin's face as she clasped her hands.
"You will?" then added as she squeezed me in a bone crushing hug, "Thank you!"
"No problem," I wheezed, prying her off of me. Then, turning back to Finny who still sat with the ribbons in his hand as if he were hopeful we would extend an exception just this once, added, "Now, Finny, if Sebastian said to wait until after dinner, we shall have to do just that."
His expression deflated faster than a balloon as he slumped, letting his hands drop to his lap in defeat. I walked over to the young servant and crouched beside him, placing a comforting hand over his own.
"I know you wanted to go ahead and get them up, but how about we do this instead," I suggested in a gentle tone. Finny's emerald gaze tentatively looked at me as I continued, "How about you clean up the decorations for now, but later I promise to help you?"
He perked up at my words, another bright smile beaming on his youthful face.
"Alright."
Without any more encouragement needed from me, Finny set into a flurry of activity as he began to clean up the table.
"I'll start on the New Year's cake," Mey-Rin announced and scurried to the kitchen.
I rose to stand with an amused smile as I looked over to the house steward.
"Well, I suppose I better get started then."
Tanaka smiled in return, lifting his cup and giving an approving, "Ho, ho, ho." before I gathered what I needed and headed to tend to the hearths.
/
I sighed heavily as I set the last of the grates back into place. Allowing myself a moment to rest, I sat beside the fireplace, wiping away the sweat that was running down my cheek. When I had agreed to take care of the hearths, I had forgotten just how many fireplaces there were in the manor. Fortunately, I thought, glancing at the clock in the parlor to see it was eight thirty-five, I had just finished the last one. It had taken me almost three hours and five trips to dump the ashes, but all of the hearths looked tidy and well-kept as they should.
With a grunt, I rose and, picking up the supplies, walked into the ballroom with the intention of returning the supplies to the wash room before cleaning up and heading to dinner.
"Well, well, I never thought I'd see this. Sarah Wakefield, the maid."
The voice that spoke made me halt in my path. I would recognize that condescending voice anywhere. Turning to where the voice had come from I saw Charles Grey and Charles Phipps, commonly known as the Double Charles, descending the grand staircase. Even without the taunting smirk that was plastered to Grey's face, I knew it had been him who had spoken. Though I had once been friends with Phipps, the same could not be said of Grey. I had never liked him, not even when the Midfords would take me to the fencing academy and I would train with the Double Charles'. Almost forgetting my manners, I hastily sat my supplies down and removed my soiled gloves, stuffing them in my pockets before quickly curtseying to Her Majesty's duo butlers.
"Good evening, my lords," I formally replied, "You two are an unexpected sight."
"As are you," Grey said as he and Phipps came to stand before me. He crossed his arms and cocked his hip, taking the arrogant stance he always did before he made a cutting remark.
"I thought the Phantomhive's had written you off for good. Apparently I was wrong. How is it you managed to secure a place here? The Earl is too young to be tempted by someone like you." he taunted, then, taking a menacing step towards me, added, "So what was it then? Did the butler tell you that the only way you could stay was if you bent over for him? Or did you offer yourself up willingly?"
My jaw clenched as his words struck home. I had forgotten how willing Grey had been to jump on the rumors that had been spread about Italy.
"That is enough," Phipp's deep voice commanded, "That is no way to speak to a lady."
Grey shot Phipps a sharp look, but held his tongue.
"Quite right, Phipps," I purred in approval. A smirk of my own tugged at the corner of my mouth as my gaze rested on Grey, "I'm afraid dear Grey has forgotten how to hold his tongue. Or need I remind you, Lord Grey, that I know who you bend over for?"
My gaze flitted over to Phipps, who remained stoically indifferent as always, despite my implication. Phipps and Grey were lovers. I had discovered this last year when my father and I were returning from a mission for which the Queen had wanted an in person report. After I had given the report of my discoveries during the mission, I had been dismissed from her presence while my father and Her Majesty continued to discuss matters. After a few minutes I had grown bored and took to wandering the halls of Buckingham Palace and soon found myself lost. I had decided to make the most of my time and began investigating some of the unlocked rooms, one in which I had found Grey and Phipps in bed together. To this day I can't be quite sure which shocked me more, the fact that they were having relations or that Grey, despite seeming so fiery and commanding to the public, seemed to be more than happy to be the submissive party. To be honest, I did not care what they did behind closed doors, but I knew that society and Her Majesty would and found that this knowledge could be used to my advantage when needed. Despite my amiable feelings towards Phipps, I enjoyed using this against Grey in situations like this. Nothing could silence him more quickly than that.
Grey narrowed his silver eyes at me and opened his mouth to shoot off another remark, when we were interrupted as Sebastian appeared at the top of the stairs.
"My lords, you are still here? Should I have rooms prepared for you to stay the night?" He asked, descending the stairs and sauntering over to join us.
"No," Grey spat, shooting me another glowering look, "I wouldn't want to stay in this wretched place any longer than I have to."
With that, he stormed to the door, turning back only when he realized Phipps hadn't followed. He crossed his arms, his expression souring. Phipps seemed unfazed by his partner's impatience, but rather stepped towards me.
"Her Majesty sends her best wishes for a happy new year and wants to express her happiness over hearing of your swift recovery. She looks forward to hearing news of your progress in the future."
I smiled appreciatively, though I was curious as to what she had meant by my progress.
"Please tell her Excellency I am grateful for her kindness and that I wish her good health and success in the coming year."
Phipps nodded his head and said no more, but joined Grey at the door. Both of them left, but not before Grey shot me a final look that let me know he wasn't finished with our argument. I chose to ignore the silent threat for now, rather choosing to turn back to where Sebastian stood wearing a proud smile.
"What?" I asked with playful curiosity, trying as best I could to repress the satisfied smile that begged to be shown, as I picked up the supplies and joined him as we walked to the servant's door.
"That was quite the conversation you were having with Lord Grey," he teased, glancing down at me from the corner of his eye.
"Oh."
My smile fell from my face and trepidation began to tighten my stomach. I was sure he was going to punish me for being so forward. It was not a maid's place to do so.
However, in place of a reprove, Sebastian chuckled. The pleasant sound of his amusement echoed off the walls as we descended the narrow stairway.
"There's no need to be frightened. I was only going to say well done. You handled yourself quite well. I have never seen Lord Grey forced to silence before…it was most satisfying."
"That it is," I chuckled as well.
"Now," he began as we entered the hall, turning and extending his hands to me, "you can give me those and I will see to it that they are put away. You should clean up before you come to dinner."
I nodded in acquiescence, obediently handing over the pail and other supplies. I started to turn to dart to my quarters to change when I caught a strange scent on the air. Sebastian's shoulders stiffened when I looked at him, obviously having smelled it as well. We both turned to look to where the smell seemed to be coming from.
"Is that?" I began but was cut off when a mournful shriek sounded from the kitchen.
"Oh no! It's ruined!" I heard Mey-Rin bemoan.
"I'm sorry. How was I supposed to…-," Bard started in defense, but was silenced as Mey-Rin began to rant about how important the cake had been.
As a full blown argument began to ensue, Sebastian and I turned to look at each other, looks of exasperation mirrored on our faces.
"On second thought, you should be fine tidying up down here," Sebastian sighed.
"I agree," I said with a nod, then with a quick glance down the hall, I offered, "I will go make sure those two don't kill each other."
A look of pure relief washed over the butler's face.
"That would be most appreciated. I believe if I tried to mediate between the two of them, they would both end up dead."
A humorless laugh escaped my lips as we parted ways. I quickened my pace as I heard the sound of crashing pots and pans. I rolled up my sleeves, fully expecting to have to pry the two apart to keep one from inflicting harm on the other. As I stepped into the kitchen, I halted, flabbergasted by the sight before me. Instead of being locked together in a death match, they were intertwined in a much different way. Bard was leaning over where he had laid her on the table and she had wrapped her legs around his waist. Well that had changed quickly. Neither one had noticed my entrance, as their lips were passionately locked.
I cleared my throat, trying to discreetly interrupt. It was to no effect, as instead of ceasing, Bard broke their kiss and began to slowly kiss along Mey-Rin's jaw to her neck, his hands trailing up her legs, pushing her skirt up as he did so. Mey-Rin's back arched slightly in response to his ministrations, soft pleasured whimpers escaping her parted lips. Heat began to rise within me as I silently watched the two, my mind curiously recreating the scene where, instead of the cook and the maid before me, it was myself and…-
"Stop!" I cried out to myself, startling the two before me.
All three of us remained still, all stunned by my outburst. Now that we were all shocked from our own hazes of pleasure, deep blushes of shame flushed our cheeks and necks. No one said a word for what seemed like ages.
Unable to bear the silence anymore, I spoke, my voice shaky at first, "I…I suggest you two make yourselves presentable. Dinner will be in five minutes."
With that, I scurried out of the room and rushed as quickly as I could to the scullery, afraid that if I stayed a moment longer they would know what my secret fantasy had been. I hurriedly pumped some water into the sink, cupping my hands together and splashing the ice cold water against my face without hesitation. I gasped, my heart racing from the shock of the frigid water. Bracing myself against the sink with my hands, I stared at my reflection, water trickling down my face to drip into the water below.
"You cannot forget yourself, Sarah Wakefield," I warned my mirror image.
Though it wasn't completely perfect, I had found myself in an advantageous situation where I was protected and could live comfortably. I would not allow myself to give it up for a momentary flare of passion. Far too many foolish women had given up the safety and security given to them for a momentary satiation of their carnal desires. I would not, I told myself, find myself among their number. I closed my eyes, rolling my head back and groaning softly, a flash of the fantasy from a few moments ago rousing the desire within me once more. My grip tightened on the edge of the sink and I bit my lip as I became acutely aware of the aching need between my legs. No matter how difficult it would be.
"Sarah?" Finny's voice shocked me out of my thoughts.
I whipped around to face the blond gardener who had peeked his head into the room, attempting to appear as normal as possible.
"Yes, Finny?"
"Are you coming to dinner? Everything's ready."
I mustered a reassuring smile as I replied, "Yes, I will be there presently."
"Ok, I'll tell Sebastian," Finny said with a smile before disappearing from sight.
Now out of time to compose myself, I quickly wiped my face with a cloth before hurrying to the servant's hall where I found everyone already seated. Sebastian cast me a questioning gaze, his eyes scanning over my body as if he was attempting to find the reason I was uncharacteristically late. I gave a sheepish half grin as I took my seat by his right side from where he sat at the head of the table, next to Tanaka. I couldn't bear to look him in the eye, fearing his piercing gaze would leave all my inner thoughts naked and exposed before him.
Once dinner started, I sighed inwardly as I was finally able to fully regain my composure. The normal chatter ensued, though it was slightly more animated than usual, given the excitement about the New Year's Eve celebrations that would commence after dinner. I had been surprised when Sebastian had announced at breakfast this morning that Ciel had allowed a few bottles of wine to be given to him for the New Year's celebrations. Christmas had been a rather muted affair, other than the orphan's benefit. I don't think that any celebration would have been had if it were not for their visit. I had assumed that New Year's would have been the same way, but apparently the young lord was feeling generous.
I smiled, taking a drink of my water, as I listened to Mey-Rin and Finny talking animatedly about what they had planned for tonight. In reality, it wasn't that much, not compared to New Year's celebrations I had attended while I was a marchioness, but to a servant who had not known, the decorations, the wine, and the music Tanaka had promised to provide must have made it seem like the party of the century.
Their conversation came to an abrupt halt as a series of succinct knocks came from the servant's door. We all tensed and looked to Sebastian for direction, our postures becoming defensive as the knocks continued. His brows furrowed as he rose without a word and went to investigate. Not wanting to leave him without back up, I followed behind, stretching my fingers to resist the urge to pull my guns. Once we were in the hallway, he glanced back at me, looking like he was going to tell me to return to the servant's hall. Before he could voice the words, I shook my head and motioned for him to continue. He paused, but after a moment of consideration seemed to reconsider his objection and made his way to the door.
As we approached the door, he moved to the left, so I moved to the right, removing one of my guns from its holster. With a nod to me, he reached and opened the door.
"Surprise!" Angelina announced, her voice lilting in a mock sing-song as she held up a couple garment bags and entered.
"We've come to save the day!" Nina chimed, her tone and gestures mimicking Angelina's as she entered as well.
Sebastian and I deadpanned at the flamboyant duo.
"Madame Red. Ms. Hopkins, what an unexpected pleasure," Sebastian said with a bow, recovering much faster than me. Taking advantage of the moment his greeting provided, I slipped my weapon back into the holster as the two women shook off their coats.
"What are you doing here?" I asked as I took their coats, "I thought you weren't supposed to come until next week."
Angelina beamed proudly as she straightened her skirts.
"I wasn't, but I stopped by Nina's shoppe today and while I was there she mentioned she had just finished your clothes. So, I thought it would be perfect to go ahead and bring them tonight."
An excited smile lit my face as I turned to Nina.
"You did all that in ten days?"
Nina waved her hands dismissively, "My dear Sarah, I was mainly sewing uniforms. It took no time at all. Plus, it killed me knowing that every day I didn't, that you'd be wearing those."
I looked down at the ill fitting uniform I was wearing, stained with soot and other cleaning oils, suddenly feeling inadequately dressed.
"So," Nina began, grabbing my hand and tugging me towards her, "we're going to get you out of these rags and into something more fitting."
I glanced to Sebastian for permission, an amused half-smile tugging at my lips when I saw his look souring as he saw how closely Nina held me to her body.
"May I, Sebastian?"
He sighed, "I suppose," then adding as he reached and took the garment bags from Nina, forcing us apart as he did so, "The festivities won't be starting for another hour, so you will have plenty of time to enjoy your new wardrobe."
With that, he led the way to the servant's stairs, up to my quarters before leaving us with a brief farewell and returning to the servant's hall. The three of us entered my quarters and I busied myself with starting a fire while Nina and Angelina laid the garment bags on my bed. I rose once I had coaxed a healthy flame to life, beginning to unbutton my uniform when Angelina put up a staying hand.
"First things first, you are going to take a quick shower."
"But…-," I began to object when she cut me off by handing me a corset, a pair of knickers, and a petticoat.
"You will start your New Year's the proper way. Now, no 'buts'. Off to the shower with you. Nina and I will handle everything here."
I glanced to Nina, nervous at what sort of plan these two had concocted during the three hour trip from London they had shared, but could not find any hint of a mischievous plan in her expression. So, hesitantly obeying Angelina's orders, I left and went to the bathing room. Gladly stripping off the restrictive clothing, I stepped under the showerhead and basked in the relief that the hot water brought as it rained down on my skin. As I scrubbed my hands and arms, the streams of water were tinged with grey from all the soot and dirt that covered them. Apparently I had gotten dirtier than I had noticed.
Several minutes later, I shut the water off and began to buff my skin dry, curiously looking over to the bench where I had sat the undergarments Angelina had handed to me. I had been surprised by the number of garment bags they had carried in. Surely my uniforms had not needed that much room, I thought as I went over to the bench and picked up the corset. A gasp of happy surprise escaped my lips as I noticed the ties were on the side. She had done it!
For the first time ever, I eagerly wrapped the corset around my torso and began to lace up the side. I rushed over to the full length mirror, turning each and every way I could, observing how perfectly it fit and accentuated my figure. Giddy with excitement, I ran back to slip on the knickers and petticoat. My eyes pricked with tears of joy as I spun around. I had forgotten how good it felt to wear something that was tailored for oneself. Scooping up the soiled laundry, I hurried back to my chambers. If Nina had been able to do this with my undergarments, how much better would my actual clothes feel?
I initially halted when I opened the door, then slowly entered, my mouth slightly agape as I took in the sight before me. In comparison to how bare my quarters usually appeared, it looked like Angelina and Nina had transformed the little room into a clothing boutique. From the three hooks where Mey-Rin's old uniforms had hung, my new ones hung along with a richly patterned night coat and fresh nightgowns for every season. The black of the uniforms was as dark as the sky at midnight, the white of the aprons and caps so crisp I dared not touch them for fear of soiling them. That alone would have been impressive, but that was not all that Nina had brought.
Underneath where the uniforms hung, there were two pairs of shoes. The drawers of my dresser had been pulled open to reveal that one drawer was full of gloves and stockings, the other one (as the third one was filled with my sketches and scribbles) was filled with a few more corsets and what appeared to be curiously cut knickers. But that was not the greatest surprise they had in store for me. My heart swelled, my hand covering my mouth as tears pricked my eyes once more. Laying neatly on my bed was a high necked dress made of fine black satin, beside which lay a silk vest which was dyed a richly deep plum, from which were attached wide strips of the same fabric that I assumed were supposed to hang down over the skirt of the dress.
"Soooo, what do you think?" Angelina asked, walking up beside me as I reached out and ran my fingers over the tiny glass beads that were embroidered elegantly at the wrists of the sleeves and along the neck.
Overcome with emotion, I pulled her and Nina into a tight embrace.
"I never could have imagined all of this!" I cheered and kissed them both on the cheek, before whispering shakily as I pulled away, "Thank you."
Angelina smiled and I could see the tears in her eyes as she was touched by my reaction.
"Come now, let's get you ready," she prompted, patting my shoulder as she pulled out a couple of stockings from the drawer.
They both set to work, tugging, prodding, and arranging until, thirty minutes later, I was in my new dress and Angelina was doing the finishing touches on my hair. Neither of them permitted me to look at the mirror while they worked on the preparations, so I was anxious to see what they had done. Nina slapped my shoulder when I tried to sneak a peek as Angelina stepped away to look through her bag.
"Hey!" I objected, to no avail. Nina just put her hands on her hips and shot me a reproving glare.
"Not yet. We're almost done."
"Here we are," Angelina cheered, returning a moment later, "These will finish the ensemble."
I looked down as she slid something into my hand. Holding up my palm to get a better look, I gasped as I admired the diamond crested amethyst earrings that glistened in the firelight.
"They are enchanting!" I spoke in awe, but then extended my hand towards Angelina, adding, "You are too kind, but I cannot wear these. They are too grand for me."
Angelina waved a dismissive hand at me, refusing to take the jewelry back.
"Nonsense. They are perfect for you. Besides, what is a pair of earrings between friends anyway?"
A slight, but grateful grin lit my face, my heart warming as I accepted her generous gift.
"Alright," I conceded, quickly slipping the earrings on.
As soon as I did, Angelina moved to stand behind me and covered my eyes. I felt Nina place a steadying hand on my arm as the two of them guided me to, I assume, stand before my mirror.
"Ok, it is time," Angelina softly whispered in my ear before removing her hands from my eyes.
I blinked several times before I was able to accurately assess my appearance. Another shocked gasp escaped my lips before I clasped my hand over my mouth, a few tears escaping from my eyes. They had outdone themselves. I stared in astonishment at a reflection, which once might have seemed familiar, had become a distant memory for it was not Sarah Wakefield the servant who returned my gaze. The dress was elegant but, despite covering up almost all of my body, still accentuated my curves in an alluring manner. My eyes traveled along my reflection, admiring the work Angelina had done with my hair. She had pinned my hair up, but rather than having it finish with a bun like I usually would, she had taken that hair and curled it so it cascaded like a waterfall down my back to where she had draped it across my left shoulder.
Upon seeing my reaction, Angelina came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist, resting her chin on my right shoulder, a loving smile gracing her lips.
"Now that is the Sarah Wakefield I know," she said softly.
My bottom lip quivered as I smiled, fresh tears trickling down my cheeks. Nina pulled a kerchief from her pocket and handed it to me so I could wipe them away.
"Come now," Angelina soothed, rubbing my shoulders, "Now is not a time for tears."
"I'm sorry," I apologized, taking a deep breath to calm my emotions, "It's just I never expected this."
After another moment or two of breathing deeply, I shook my head and squared my shoulders.
"There. I am better now."
"And just in time, too," Nina said as she glanced at the clock, "It is time to get back downstairs."
Angelina cheered before rushing over to her bag and slipping her gloves on. Nina waited patiently by the door while I took one last glance in the mirror, relieved that my face did not show any sign that I had been crying. I firmly pinched my cheeks, satisfied with the healthy blush that came to my face as a result before joining Nina. Angelina squealed with giddy excitement as she followed in tow as we all left and began to descend the stairs to the servant's hall.
"Oh, I can't wait, Sarah! There is no way Sebastian cannot be smitten with you…not when he sees how beautiful you look!"
I shook my head, grinning with amusement at her comment. I said nothing to dissuade her enthusiasm because, somewhere deep inside, I was hoping she was right. Despite my best intentions, my attraction to Sebastian was getting the better of me. Besides, it was New Year's Eve, right? I could allow myself a little indulgence, if just for tonight.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nina recoil in surprise and disgust.
"Mr. Stiff?! Why would you want to catch that prude's eye?"
Angelina let out a hearty laugh, shaking her head along with me.
"My dear Nina, someone like you wouldn't understand."
As we entered the hall of the lower level, the melodic tones of a violin and a piano wafted from the servant's hall, calling to us like a siren's song. Enchanted by the music, the three of us made our way to the entrance of the room, Angelina and Nina entering before me. I took a deep breath, pausing a moment, and wrung my hands as I waited just outside, suddenly nervous about entering by myself. I had done so numerous times, but that was as Sarah Wakefield, the maid who did her best to go about her work quietly and efficiently. Tonight I felt as if I was Lady Wakefield again. The dress Nina tailored for me seemed like an empresses' dress compared to what I had grown accustomed to wearing.
"Sarah Wakefield," I murmured to myself, "there is no reason for butterflies now. You may be a maid, but you are still a Lady."
With that, I stood up straighter, holding my chin high and, before I could second guess myself, stepped into the room.
Even though the servant's hall had become a common place for me, under Mey-Rin's careful supervision and Finny's enthusiastic decorating, tonight it seemed to rival any grand ballroom I had seen before. Ribbons and streamers of all sorts of colors were draped along the walls and ceiling. The room even seemed to be brighter with the extra lanterns that had been brought in. A slight smile tugged at my lips as I saw Bard pouring Nina and Angelina some wine, reclining at the table with Mey-Rin and Finny, who were engrossed in a game of bridge. Tanaka and Sebastian were tucked away in the far corner of the room, the former seated at the small piano and the latter standing close by playing the violin.
"Woah." I heard Bard whisper, cigarette falling from his mouth.
Mey-Rin and Finny looked up from their game and rushed instantly to my side, both enthusiastically grabbing my hands.
"Wow!" Finny breathed, looking up at me in pure adoration. "You look beautiful!"
"And your dress is gorgeous!" Mey-Rin chimed in.
"Thank you." I smiled, a dusting of pink tinting my cheeks at their compliments.
They continued with their praises, Angelina and Nina joining in as well, but their words faded into the background as my gaze met Sebastian's. Without pausing in his playing, I watched his eyes take me in for a moment before he returned his gaze to mine. My heart thudded in my chest as an approving smile spread on his lips, a smile of my own growing on my face. Heat rushed to my cheeks and I averted my gaze, turning my attention once more to the table where the others were now seated. Angelina shot me a knowing look, a satisfied smirk on her face as I sat down next to her.
"Not a word," I whispered, to which she dramatically feigned innocence.
"Why, Sarah, I have no idea what you are talking about."
As the music came to a temporary pause while Tanaka and Sebastian discussed what to play next, Mey-Rin perked up, looking to Bard.
"Now that everyone's here, we have enough to have a little dancing party!"
"Yeah!" Finny cheered, jumping up from his seat.
We all followed Finny's lead, Bard and Sebastian making quick work of moving the table to the opposite corner of the room to clear enough space to make a decently sized makeshift music hall. Mey-Rin and Bard paired off and Angelina jokingly took Nina in her arms, but I shuffled away as I tried to remain unnoticed by the fireplace. While I enjoyed and was skilled when it came to the art of dance, I still preferred being a wall flower. However, the sound of someone quietly clearing their throat told me I would not be a wall flower for long. I turned to where the noise had come from to see Finny standing beside me.
With a flourishing bow, he extended his hand to me, asking, "May I have the honor of this dance?"
He rose from his bow, his face beaming with contagious joy. I giggled, unable to refuse such an offer, and took his hand.
"I would be delighted, young sir."
The music started once more and soon I found myself being led by Finny in circles, going round and round in some sort of disjointed waltz. Even though I found myself dizzy and my feet sore from Finny stepping on my toes multiple times, I found I did not mind. In fact, my heart was overflowing with mirth I did not know I could feel.
For the next hour and a half, we all tirelessly danced and Sebastian and Tanaka played. Laughter filled the room as we spun and jumped and dipped, the air seeming to hum with the joy that burned in all our hearts. Even Sebastian seemed to be enjoying himself. After finishing a particularly rigorous Virginia Wheel that Bard had taught us, we paused for quick break.
Bard walked over to the table and poured us all a glass of wine.
"Fifteen minutes til midnight. That should be enough time for one more dance," he announced as he went to hand me a glass.
I shook my head.
"No thank you," I declined, "I prefer not to drink wine other than at meals."
At least, not in mixed company. I thought.
Bard shrugged, but did not press the matter.
"I think we should give Tanaka and Sebastian a break from playing and let them dance," Angelina suggested, then proceeded to volunteer to play the piano.
"The violin can't be much different from fiddle," Bard said, as he followed Angelina over to where the piano sat.
The two of them leaned toward each other as they planned the last song. Bard's brow furrowed, seemingly disagreeing with Angelina's choice, but I could tell from the determined glint in her eyes that she would not be told otherwise. Taking the cue from Bard as he raised the violin to his chin, I walked back out to the makeshift music hall. I was about to ask Finny if he wanted to dance again when I heard Sebastian clear his throat behind me.
"Excuse me, but may I be so bold as to cut in?"
He smiled teasingly, extending his hand to me as if he already knew my answer.
"Yes, you may."
My heart thrilled as I placed my hand in his, his long fingers enclosing my hand before he gently tugged me towards him and placed his other hand at the small of my back. As the music began, we began to move in time with the slower, more intimate tune. I noted as he spun me away, only to pull me back to him a moment later, that there was an undercurrent of sensuality in the tune Angelina had picked. Or it may have been the desire that slowly built within me as Sebastian pressed me to himself, his gaze never leaving mine as we continued to dance about the room.
"You dance incredibly well," he smiled down at me.
"As do you. I never expected a butler to be so talented. You never cease to surprise."
"But, of course," he began, but paused as he spun me away and pulled me back again. When his hand found the small of my back, he pressed me into him with a little more force than before, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as he continued, "I have many talents of which you do not know yet."
I blushed at what I believed he was insinuating, but decided that tonight I would not allow his teasing to be a one sided affair.
"I would enjoy learning of your other…talents. Though I am sure even I would have a few surprises hidden up my sleeve."
His brow quirked at my response, intrigued.
"Oh, really?"
"It's almost time!" Mey-Rin announced, cutting our conversation short.
The music ceased, silence engulfing the room as we stopped dancing and collectively turned to look towards the large clock that hang above the fireplace. It was approximately thirty seconds until 1888 had officially arrived. I started as a hand slipped into mine.
"Happy New Year, Sarah," Angelina said softly, leaning her head against mine as the others began to count down as there were only ten seconds left.
A contented smile tugged at my lips as I leaned my head against hers in return.
"Happy New Year, Angelina."
As the clock struck midnight, the room erupted in cheers and hollers. Before I could tell what was going on, I found myself pressed upon at every side as everyone came together in a large group embrace of sorts. Well, almost everyone. I glanced over to where Sebastian and Tanaka reservedly stood, somehow having avoided the tidal wave of affection. Sebastian could not contain the amused grin that lit his face. He quirked his brow in teasing question. I shrugged my shoulders as best I could, only offering an amusedly defeated grin in return.
"Happy New Year, Sarah!" Mey-Rin cheered, her cheeks flushed from dancing and the wine she had imbibed, before planting a wet kiss on my left cheek.
From my right, I saw Angelina approach and place a much more delicate, but still drunkenly enthusiastic kiss on my right cheek. A moment later, I heard someone squeal before I felt arms being wrapped around my waist as they hugged me from behind. The not-so-stealthy grab at my breasts told me who it was, without hearing her speak. I sighed, looking to Sebastian for help, whose expression had soured as he shot the three women a pointedly disapproving look.
Over the celebratory ruckus, Tanaka gave a high pitched whistle. The room was blanketed once more into silence.
"Thank you, Tanaka," Sebastian said with a slight nod to the house steward before returning his attention to the rest of us, "I hope you have all enjoyed your evening. But, even though the young master has allowed us to sleep in until eight tomorrow, it is time we all retired for the night."
Sighs and groans of disappointment from the others answered his instruction. Though I was relieved, as I was able to take advantage of the distraction and wriggle my way free.
Sebastian did not seem to be amused by their lack of cooperation. Clapping his hands, he silenced the group once more before sternly asserting, "Come now, there is no time for dawdling. Clean up the room and then retire to your quarters for the night."
At his command, I began to go about the room, extinguishing the lamps and removing the ribbons that hung from the walls. Not wanting to provoke further disapproval, the other servants set to work as well. It did not take long. About ten minutes later the room was tidy and had returned to its normal muted, but inviting state.
"I guess this is goodnight," I said as I walked up to Angelina and Nina, who stood off to the side as the servants began to file out.
Finny had hoisted Bard over his shoulder, who had passed out moments before from all the wine he had consumed, and carried him up to their room. Tanaka provided a steadying hand to Mey-Rin as they ascended the servant's stairs. She wasn't too drunk, but she had consumed enough that she was not steady enough to safely walk up to her room without some support. I had a sneaking suspicion that breakfast tomorrow was going to be a rather quiet affair.
"Oh, nonsense!" Angelina objected, exaggeratedly waving her hand, "We'll stay with you tonight, if you wouldn't mind."
"I suppose not…but there is not much room. It will be rather tight quarters."
"We don't mind!" Nina chimed in, a little too loudly and enthusiastically, draping her arm over my shoulder, clearly intoxicated as well.
"It will be like old times," Angelina insisted, before adding, "Besides, I am dying to get a better look at the special undergarments Nina made for you."
She paused and turned to the seamstress, "They're not knickers. They're called…-,"
"Panties!" Nina cheered before bursting into a fit of giggles.
"Excuse me, ladies," Sebastian interjected cooly, as he joined us, having extinguished the fire in the hearth, "I will see you all up to Sarah's quarters."
Without another word, he scooped Nina up, much to her objection, and folded her over his shoulder to carry her in the same fashion as Finny had carried Bard, rather than how he had gracefully carried me in the past.
"Put me down, you big boobie! This is no way to carry a lady!"
She beat her fists against Sebastian's back, squirming in an effort to free herself from the butler's grasp. Angelina and I followed behind as we scaled the stairs, clasping our hands to our mouths the entire time to stifle our laughter. Nina did not stop hurling threats and curses at him, but, to Sebastian's credit, he did not seem to be fazed by them. About half way up, Sebastian abruptly stopped and turned slightly to look back at us, his action causing Nina to bump her head against the wall. Not too forcefully, just enough to quiet her objections for a moment.
"Are you having any difficultly, ladies?" he asked to make sure Angelina wasn't having any issues carrying herself to my quarters. Angelina and I shook our heads.
Sebastian smiled, seeming overly proud of himself as Nina growled in frustration, one of her hands flying to steady her glasses, the other to rub where her head had struck the wall.
"Very well, we shall continue."
"You bastard, you did that on purpose!" Nina shrieked and commenced to shoot more insults.
Sebastian said nothing and, overall, seemed to ignore her complaints. Though, I could tell by the slight shaking of his shoulders that he was laughing to himself.
"Thank you." I said as we entered my room.
"You are quite welcome," Sebastian replied with an eerie smile before dropping Nina unceremoniously on the bed.
The latter seethed with exasperation and attempted to rise. However, in her drunken state, all she managed to do was slip off the edge of the bed and tumble to the floor. Angelina and I rushed to her side and helped her sit up.
"If there is nothing else you require," Sebastian began, drawing our attention to where he stood in the doorway, "then I shall bid you ladies a good night."
Angelina and I returned his sentiments, but Nina said nothing, rather choosing to glare daggers at his retreating figure as he made his leave and shut the door. Once we were alone, Nina huffed, straightening her glasses yet again.
"Honestly, I don't know what you see in him. Tell me why you were trying to catch his eye again?"
"I wasn't," I half lied as I went over to the mirror and began to unbutton the vest of my dress, adding as I glanced toward Angelina's reflection, "She wanted me to."
Nina shot an incredulous look at her, to which Angelina held her hands up in mock defense.
"Don't look at me! You saw them dancing together tonight. They would be perfect together."
"Being good dance partners is hardly a reliable indicator of a successful relationship," I chided as I shrugged my arms out of the sleeves of my dress and slipped it down far enough that I could step out of it.
Angelina shrugged her shoulders, reclining against the bed from where she remained seated on the floor by Nina.
"I've heard that people who dance well together are excellent partners in bed."
"Angelina!" I shouted, stumbling as I attempted to finish stepping out of my dress.
"Oh, come off it. You know you've thought about it," she retorted.
I glanced away, unable to meet her gaze as a telling blush rushed to my cheeks and down my neck.
Nina snorted, "I don't know why anyone would want to sleep with that prude."
"No," Angelina began, rolling her eyes at the seamstress, "someone like you would not understand."
I hung my dress, sighing inwardly in relief as it seemed the subject had been changed. I then tended to the fire before I joined them on the floor.
"So you wouldn't accept him even if he offered himself to you?" Angelina asked as I sat.
I sighed, "No, I wouldn't."
At least I hoped not.
When Angelina lowered her head and looked up at me with a disbelieving gaze, I continued my defense.
"Sebastian is my friend. I wouldn't want to ruin that by entangling myself with him like that. Besides, if I did, Ciel would probably use my indiscretion as a reason to be rid of me. I cannot risk that." I paused, looking down at my fingers as I intertwined them, a thought crossing my mind.
"Anyway," I mumbled, "the path of romance has been lost to me for some time now."
My heart sunk as I spoke the words. Until now I had been content with the reality that I would always be alone…but that was before I realized that I might be missing out on something. The thought had never crossed my mind until I came here, not until I met Sebastian.
"Oh, come. Don't be so down in the mouth," Angelina objected, rising defiantly to her feet, hands on her hips, "I know exactly what can cheer your spirits right now."
I looked up from my lap, my head tilting in questioning curiosity. My eyes widened as I saw she had procured a full wine bottle along with three glasses.
"Where did…?" I began, but she cut my query off with a hearty laugh.
"An old trick of the trade," she quipped, uncorking the bottle and pouring each of us a full glass, "I was surprised I was able to sneak them past Sebastian without him noticing. But, as I like to say, a smart woman's skirts should always be large enough to carry some good spirits."
I laughed in disbelief as Nina clapped her hands before accepting our respective glasses. I took a long draw of the crimson liquid, humming approvingly as the rich and hearty drink filled my mouth.
"Oh! I almost forgot," Angelina said, sitting her glass on the ledge next to my water basin, "I wanted to see those 'panties' you made."
"Of course," Nina agreed, clumsily rising to her feet to join Angelina by my dresser.
Reaching in the drawer, she pulled out one and held it up with both hands for Angelina and I to inspect. Her chest puffed out in pride, her eyes glinting frighteningly with proud ambition.
"Behold, I give you the future of undergarments!"
Angelina and I gasped in wonder at the curiosity that were panties. It was an almost triangular shaped garment that looked like it was only intended to cover the rear, if it was able to cover that completely. My interest piqued and I joined the two of them, taking another large swig of wine. In the drawer were panties of different colors, some white, some black, there were even a few that were colored in blue and red and various materials, though all incorporated lace to some degree.
"Oh, Nina," I whispered in awe as I held up one I had chosen as my favorite. It was made mostly of black silk, but had black lace as accents around the top and what I assumed were supposed to be holes for my legs, "You have outdone yourself."
"I agree! I would like you to make me some, too. My suitors would love them." Angelina said as she rifled through the undergarments.
Nina puffed out her chest some more at our glowing response.
"Here," Angelina called, pulling out a corset that was dyed the same pitch black as the panties I was holding and motioning it to me, "I want to see what it looks like."
I was about to object, but I saw the determined look in her eyes and I knew I wouldn't be able to refuse her. I took another gulp of my wine, finishing my first glass.
"Fine," I agreed, accepting the corset, "But if I'm going to, I'm going to need to drink more wine first."
Two more glasses of wine, apparently. It was an hour and three total glasses later that I found myself in the sexy ensemble of the black panties I had chosen, the black corset to match, along with black lace tipped stockings that barely rose past my knees before being secured to my garter by suspended clasps. I strutted back and forth in front of the mattress we had pulled onto the floor where Angelina and Nina sat on it, now wearing their nightgowns, clapping and cheering praises.
I had forgotten how liberating the effects of alcohol could be. Since the wine began to work on my body, I felt like I buzzed with positive energy. Joy and mirth seemed readily accessible, something I hadn't felt for years. I hadn't felt this free in some time.
"Give us your most seductive pose," Nina loudly requested.
A smirk came to my face and I turned my back to them to assess my appearance. My eyes shone with a strange light and my cheeks were lightly flushed from my tipsy state. Glancing at my hair, I decided to remove the pins that held it in place, shaking my long locks free. I cocked my hips and rested my hands on them as I looked at their reflections in the mirror.
"How's this?" I purred.
They both clapped enthusiastically at my display. Angelina nodded her head in approval.
"See? I knew you had it in you. If only Sebastian were here to see."
I opened my mouth to object when there were a series of sharp knocks at the door. I froze, unable to move as the door we had forgotten to lock opened to reveal a rather cross looking Sebastian, feeling instantly sober.
"Ladies, I hate to intrude, but you are being so loud I am surprised you have not awoken Bard," he reproved, clearly not having taken in the entirety of the scene before him.
My heart pounded in my ears as I still found my feet refused to move, my gaze wandering from his disheveled hair to where his shirt parted, unbuttoned halfway down, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Before I could move to cover myself, his gaze snapped from Angelina and Nina to me, a dark hunger growing in his eyes as they drank my body in. An irrepressible smirk quirked his lips.
"Would you care to explain to me why you are parading about in such a display of undress?"
"Um," was all I was able to stutter out before I found my feet and whipped on my night coat, wrapping it tightly about my body.
"She was modeling my fashion genius!" Nina slurred, glowering at the butler.
"Come now, Sebastian. No need to be so stern," Angelina chided, rising from the mattress and stumbling over to him. I tried to ignore the flare of jealousy that rose within me as she placed her hand on his forearm, "Why don't you join us? You clearly weren't getting any sleep. I mean," she paused, gesturing theatrically to the room, "what man would deny himself the opportunity to carouse with three beautiful women?"
My mouth dropped open at her brazen flirtation, but before I could object to defend Sebastian, he closed the door behind him.
"Indeed," was all he said.
My hands clenched as Angelina linked her arm with his, leading him toward the mattress.
"We were just about to look at some of Sarah's sketches. Would you like to see them?"
Sebastian perked up at this information.
"Yes, I would."
Angelina flopped on the mattress and patted the spot next to her. Sebastian put up a staying hand and shook his head to deny her offer.
"I will sit on the floor," he answered a moment before he did so. Then, turning to me, added, "Come sit."
As I walked over, he shifted to create some space between him and the mattress. I gladly accepted his invitation and sat next to him, shooting Angelina a disapproving look, which she promptly ignored.
"Would you like to do the honors?" she asked, picking up the large stack of unevenly sized papers. I did most of my sketches on any scrap paper I could find since I could not afford a sketch book of my own yet.
I went to take them when Sebastian reached around me and took them first.
"Allow me."
We all leaned toward him as he began to slowly flip through the pages, the paper crinkling as he did so. For ten minutes or so we watched him as he perused the different sketches, some of which were of people and objects in the manor, some of them from memories. I glanced over to my right as Angelina's weight increasingly leaned against me, a soft smile ghosting on my lips as I saw Nina leaning against her, both of them clearly asleep.
As gently as I could, I coaxed Angelina's head from my shoulder to rest on my lap. I began running my hands through her long red hair as I turned my attention back to my sketches.
"These are rather good," Sebastian complimented as he reached the last one in the stack.
"Thank you," I whispered.
Both of us looked down as Angelina let out a petite feminine snore. My lips quirked in amusement, but Sebastian did not seem to find it amusing at all. His brows furrowed in disapproval.
"How unbecoming of someone of her rank."
"Do not judge her so harshly," I defended, picking up a wine glass from nearby and swirled the contents around, "She's done more for me than you could imagine. I have her to thank for who I am today. She did not abandon me like others did."
"Others, such as your father?" he prodded.
I smiled bitterly, taking a quick sip from the glass before answering, "Yes."
"How did visiting his grave go? Were you able to voice parting words you wish you could have said before?"
I scoffed, "You could say that."
His brow quirked with curiosity, prodding me further.
"I told him he was a worthless, manipulative father and that I didn't need him…that I was with people now who respected and took care of me. And that I would make my own destiny, one that doesn't rest on his lies or the Crown."
He nodded, his expression unreadable as he replied, "It must have been a relief to give those feelings a voice."
"It was. I only wish I had been given an opportunity to say them to his face."
We sat in silence for a few minutes while I gazed down at my dearest friend, continuing to run my hands through her hair as she slumbered, her face so peaceful and devoid of the signs of her hardships. I blinked slowly as I felt the energizing effects of the wine quickly leaving, being replaced with the heavy weight of slumber.
"Pardon me if this is too forward, but it seems like your father was a cruel man," he stated.
I offered no response at first, but continued to stroke Angelina's hair, considering Sebastian's words. I could feel his gaze on me as the silence continued
"He…," I started, turning my attention from Angelina to Sebastian. His gaze captured mine as he intently waited for my response.
"He was not cruel…not in the way one normally thinks of cruelty. He did not harm me physically, but he never provided me with what I needed, not in the ways that really mattered. After my mother's death, it was the Phantomhive's and the Midford's who helped me cope with my grief, not my father. When I needed guidance as I became a young woman, it was Angelina and my governess who took me under their wing and showed me how to be a proper lady. But even for all their love and friendship, my father managed to strip that away from me as well…it was his actions that forced Lord Vincent's hand."
"You poor thing," Sebastian cooed softly, reaching his hand up to cup my face and using his thumb to wipe away the few years I had not noticed fall, "Neglect is a cruelty all its own."
My heart drummed in my chest as he did not stop his ministrations, his eyes smoldering in the firefight.
"Was it his neglect that lead to Italy?"
I started at his question, my eyes widening as my chest tightened, my heart drumming in a much different way as all the warmth from a second ago was swept away and replaced with a suffocating chill. I moved my tongue to speak, but found it was as if my mouth had been stuffed full of cotton. I hastily brought the glass to my lips, regretting the loss of his touch, and swallowed as much as I could in one gulp.
"Did I…-?" he began, but I cut him off when I raised my hand and placed a silencing finger on his lips as he had done for me on previous occasions.
"There are several rules I have if you are to remain my friend," I said, warning clear in my voice, "And the first is that we never speak of Italy."
His eyes searched mine for answers as I resolutely held my finger in place, but, to my relief, he did not seem like he was going to push the matter further. Once I was confident of this, my shoulders relaxed and I began to remove my finger from his lips. I paused, surprised by how soft and alluring they were. Sebastian broke our gaze as he looked down where my hand rested, my thumb caressing his bottom lip. My gaze followed his and with each passing second, the urge to not just touch his lips with my fingers began to grow. I wanted to touch them with my lips. Without thinking, I closed my eyes and leaned in towards him, pausing only when I felt his breath flutter against my face.
A loud, abrasive snore issued from where Nina lay. I jumped, my eyes snapping open, feeling as if I had been awoken from a dream. An embarrassed heat warmed my face and neck and I turned away as I sat up straight once more, unable to look him in the eye. The snapping and popping of the logs in the fireplace was the only sound that interrupted the awkward silence that enveloped the two of us. I took another sip from my glass, hoping to calm my frazzled nerves.
"So that is why you have such a close bond with Madame Red?" Sebastian asked several minutes later, acting as if I hadn't made to kiss him.
I turned my attention to the handsome butler, who appeared to be lost in thought. My eyes traced over his features until they came to rest on his shoulders, finding myself overcome with a desire to rest my head there. I craved the intimacy we had shared when he had caressed my face and, since I had narrowly avoided kissing him, this was the next best thing. With no reason left hold me back, I gave into my desire. I felt Sebastian stiffen in response to the intimate gesture, but I did not move to correct it, nor did he.
"Yes. She never betrayed me. She was always there for me. Just like you…you were always there with everything I've been through recently. That is why I am glad Ciel has someone loyal like you to protect him," I rambled, the last part coming out in spaced out mumbles.
A moment later, I jerked, my eyes opening to see Sebastian taking the wine glass from my hand.
"Perhaps you should stop drinking," he whispered, setting the glass on the floor before adding softly, "I am not loyal to Ciel, not in the true sense of the word. I am simply fulfilling my portion of our contract."
"You're too modest," I mumbled, patting his knee, my eyes drooping closed once more, "Bard has told me of some of the things you've done for our master."
Taking in a deep breath, my resolve to stay awake washed away with the smell of his scent. I leaned my body against his, intertwining my arms around his right arm. If I had not been fading in and out of sleep, I would have sworn with certainty that I heard a low rumble come from his chest, something akin to a growl as I nuzzled my nose against the soft flesh of his throat.
"I should leave," he said quietly, shifting in an effort to free himself from my grasp.
"No, stay," I groggily objected, clutching to his arm with all the strength I could muster in my half conscious state, "Just until I fall asleep. You're too comfy…and you smell good."
He made a small noise of amusement, but ceased in his moving.
"As you wish."
How long we remained in that contented embrace, I am not sure. Most likely it was for a shorter time than it seemed, as quickly as I was descending into the darkness of slumber. That was when I entered into a disorienting dream.
The room seemed to spin as I was suspended somewhere between the two consciousness's. The soft cotton of a pillow caressed my cheek as I was laid on my side. I rolled to rest on my back, a pang of loss echoing in my chest as Sebastian's scent grew momentarily weaker. In what I believe was the dream, I struggled to crack my eyes open as I felt the pressure of some weight being placed on my hips and legs, as if something was being laid on top of me, but found I could not. Sebastian's scent grew stronger once more and a moment later, I felt something soft and warm press against my cheek. The sensation left as quickly as it had come, but the slight bit of moisture that was left behind told me I had just received a kiss.
"Sleep now, while you can," Sebastian's honeyed voice whispered huskily, his breath hot against my ear, "For, by the end of this year, you will be mine."