Proxy

by Twinnesse

Edward has transferred his residency to Seattle, and Bella isn't happy about it. Or is she? Two lifelong friends and adversaries examine the "path not taken", while facing an uncertain future. Adult AH Characters. A collaboration by Slutch 32 & TwirlGrrl

11. Chapter 11

A/N

Love and thanks to Aruni, who offers her wisdom, and our Red Pen Goddesses Maylin and AzureEyed1. And also for the love, laughter and support from the BBs in UUville.

Songs for Chapter 11:

"Blame It On The Changes" –Dashboard Confessional

See you at the bottom!

Rated M for language and possible future, well, you know. If you're not old enough to buy mature rated materials, you shouldn't be reading this (and your parents should install Net Nanny.)

Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight, obviously.

---

Bella

"Well, you know, you said it was a mistake. I know you were kind of drunk that night. I didn't think you'd want everyone to know."

I frowned. "Bella, I've never regretted kissing you."

She looked surprised. "Oh." Then she frowned. "But that day–"

But the bedroom door opened then and Lauren joined us in the hallway. "Hey guys! Bella are you done in there?"

She nodded. "Yep, it's all yours. Good night Edward."

I smiled and gave a little wave. "Night."

I crawled into bed and curled up on my side facing away from Lauren. My head was spinning and I really didn't feel like chatting with her right now.

Eventually I heard her sneak back into the room and quietly put away her toiletry bag. I feigned sleep and never moved. Thankfully she simply clicked off the light and the rustle of fabric told me she was climbing under the covers.

I knew the minute Lauren fell asleep because that's when she started snoring. I wondered why she hadn't spent the money to repair that deviated septum in favor of her enhancements. I felt stupid even thinking about it; I knew why, and immediately felt sorry for her lack of self esteem. She may have all the courage in the world, able to approach Edward in ways I've only dreamed about, but at what cost?

I tossed and turned in my own bed, my mind playing through the day's events. I kept thinking about the intensity in Edward's eyes when he told me that he'd never regretted that kiss. That one statement went against everything I'd known and believed about us for the last ten years.

That kiss was a long time ago; a decade had passed, but I could still remember almost every detail of that night. I didn't often allow myself to think about that kiss because it had been so perfect, everything I'd ever wanted, for a moment. But of course, this was Edward, and nothing was ever simple with him, so my perfect moment was very brief and if the kiss had been spectacularly wonderful, it ended just as spectacularly awful when he'd opened his mouth and insulted me.

In the following days he'd apologized and told me he regretted it. The fact that he'd wanted to take that perfect moment back, had hurt so much. It was just too painful to think about how amazing it had been in the first place.

--

Bella - Charlie's House 1998

It was Sunday afternoon and it was raining hard. Charlie had been called into work because of an accident on the highway caused by a mudslide.

The house was dark from the storm clouds and I was curled up under a blanket and watching a movie when the doorbell rang. I jogged to the door wondering who would be out in this weather on a Sunday afternoon.

I peeked out the window and gasped when I saw a drenched looking Edward on my front porch. After a deep breath I opened the door.

"Hey. Wow Edward, you're soaked. You want to come in and dry off?" I glanced past him, looking for his car, but it wasn't there.

He turned to look at the empty driveway as well, showing off the nasty purple and red bruise on the outside corner of his eye and cheekbone. I cringed and sucked a little air through my teeth. He ran his hand quickly over the top of his head and shook some of the water out. "No thanks, I'm okay, I got caught on my run, and I still have to get home."

I smirked. "You got caught in the rain? Do you not know where we live?"

He gave me a lopsided grin. "Yeah, I know. I'm grounded and my folks took my car away for a couple of weeks. They busted me when I got home the other night and they smelled the beer. So, I'm out for a run if anyone asks, but I really just needed to talk to you."

"Okay." I didn't know what else to say.

He looked at the ground and shuffled his feet. "So listen, I shouldn't have done… what I did the other night. It was stupid and, well, I'm really sorry."

I bit down on my bottom lip and stared at his shoes. This was so awkward. "It's okay Edward. I knew you were drunk when you stumbled and I… well I could tell. I know you didn't mean it. It's not my first rodeo with Edward Cullen- party animal, remember."

He rested his hand on the doorframe and flicked at some loose paint with his index finger while the corner of his mouth pulled up in a half smile. "Yeah, I think I'll lay off that particular recreational activity for a while. Clearly, I have no judgment. I mean, it's you, and you're not some random girl. My family would kill me if they ever found out what I did."

I twisted the knob that was still in my hand. "Well, don't worry, I haven't told anyone."

He exhaled a relieved breath. "Bella, you know I'd never, you know..."

He waved a hand between our lower abdomen areas to emphasize his meaning.

My eyes widened when I realized what he was trying to say. "Right. I know. I'm practically your sister. I know you could never do that with me."

He brought a hand up to his bruise and touched it gently while he smirked at me. "Well I certainly won't any time soon, now that I'm aware of the consequences."

I flexed my own hand and flinched a little too.

I laughed. "What'd you tell your family about that?"

He tipped his head to the side. "Well I kind of wanted to ask you the same thing. Em knows that I was with you in the woods. He's drawn his own conclusions, but I didn't give him any details."

I arched an eyebrow. "What did he assume?"

His face twisted up, clearly not agreeing with Emmett's assumption. "That you wiped out somehow and took me down with you."

I rolled my eyes; of course Emmett would assume that. "Just go with it. Tell him you ran off Tyler because of what he was saying and then use the accident-prone Bella excuse."

He frowned and tapped the toe of his running shoe on the doorframe. "Nah, I don't want to put all this on you."

"You have to admit it's more plausible than the truth. No one would ever believe that you actually tried... that… with me. I mean, seriously."

His jaw clenched. "Yeah. I guess you're right. So, no hard feelings?"

"None. I've chalked it all up to too much alcohol and stupid locker room talk."

--

After not nearly enough sleep I was awakened by more of Lauren's snoring. I threw on some sweats and headed downstairs for some coffee and found Kate and Alice already up and chatting. The three of us moved around the kitchen getting breakfast together for everyone before most of us headed out for a hike. Kate was once again making her sausage gravy and biscuits, while I worked to scramble eggs.

Alice sat on a stool at the counter slicing cantaloupe and honeydew melons, then arranging them on a platter, but she was fidgeting; her knee bounced and she kept glancing at me from the corner of her eye.

I couldn't take it anymore and sighed loudly. "Okay Alice, spill. You're acting weird."

Alice smiled widely "I was just thinking about that new piece of information from last night."

I arched an eyebrow at her in question. I was pretty sure what she was referring to, but wasn't going to volunteer it.

She rolled her eyes. "You. Edward. Kissing."

I groaned, annoyed that it ever came up in the first place. I looked at Kate who just smiled at me. "I'm with Alice, I want to know too."

I squinted at her, "You did that on purpose didn't you? Never ever have I kissed a Cullen."

"Busted." Kate laughed as she stirred the gravy.

"So you aren't going to tell?" Alice whined. "Not even a hint about when it happened? Because I keep thinking about Jessica. The three of us were almost as tight as Ed, Em, and Garrett, and then all of a sudden, at the end of our Junior year she didn't want to hang out with us. I know it bugged you too, and I never knew why. But now this thing with the kiss comes out and I have to wonder if that's why she…."

"Alice I never knew what happened between me and Jessica. Friends drift apart you know. Not us, but you know, it happens."

"No, there was more to it than just drifting apart Bella. We were all friends and then she was just being nasty towards you and rolling her eyes behind your back. Don't get me wrong, she never did anything blatantly mean or I would have been all over her, but she was harboring some serious ill-feelings. I never thought it had anything to do with Edward, because she was fine when they broke up. But now I'm wondering if maybe it did."

"Wondering why?"

"Welllll… when did you kiss him? Was it when they were together and she didn't find out until after the fact?"

My jaw fell open. "Alice I'm offended you would even ask me that. First of all, you know I would never do that to a friend, second, it was long after they had broken up, but most of all, it didn't mean anything. I mean, yes he kissed me, but it was nothing more than some kind of misguided alcohol-fueled mistake. And he was mortified afterwards. I mean, seriously, this is Edward we're talking about."

She frowned at me. "What does that mean? 'This is Edward we're talking about'?"

I smirked and my eyebrows pulled together in our form of non-verbal communication that meant 'duh'.

But she challenged me with her eyes as she sipped her coffee, so I was forced to articulate what I was trying to communicate non-verbally.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "I mean, that he never looked at me that way. He always saw me like he does you Alice; like a sister."

Alice's eyes bulged and she choked on her coffee. She started coughing and pounding on her chest. Between coughs she managed to choke out "You can't be serious!"

That was a rather extreme reaction and I watched her with curiosity. "Uh, yeah, I am. He said so himself."

Alice snorted. "He is such a liar. Listen Bella, I know for a fact that he absolutely has not ever thought of you as his sister."

I rested my hands on the counter. "Alice, I've known your family for how many years? And aside from a passing moment of drunken idiocy he has never, and I mean never, shown any indication to the contrary."

She giggled. "Maybe not that you've seen, but I have… first hand, I might add." She visibly shuddered.

Kate stepped up next to me and Alice paused for dramatic effect and then leaned forward onto the counter. "Okay, when we were in Hawaii, there was this one afternoon after the jellyfish thing that we were laying out by the pool..."

Unfortunately, at that second Edward flew around the corner and slid right into Alice's stool. She would have been knocked off, except that he wrapped one arm around her shoulder and gave her a strong squeeze.

"Good morning Bella, Kate, Alice." He smiled at me and Kate and then turned a much darker expression on Alice. When he said her name it had a hard edge to it.

"How are we this fine morning?" His hair was still wet from the shower and his words were pleasant, but his tone and the look in his eyes were laced with anger as he glared at Alice.

She pursed her lips and looked at him, but his expression crumbled her and she looked back down at the cantaloupe in submission. "Morning Edward."

He let her go and walked around the island towards the coffee maker. "So what's new?" His tone was suddenly light, but he was still staring angrily at Alice.

I glanced at Kate and she arched her eyebrows and smiled before we all went back to work and pretended that whatever had just happened hadn't actually happened.

Edward

It took most of breakfast to shake off the blind fury that I was feeling towards Alice. Right before we all sat down to eat I dragged her into the master bedroom and chewed her out for nearly humiliating me like that.

In her defense, she was only trying to make Bella understand that I was capable of seeing her in a romantic way, which I appreciated, but not at that cost. When she dissolved into tears I finally relented, and after she promised to never, under any circumstances tell that story, I let her leave.

But she still wouldn't look at me through most of breakfast and when it was over she quickly disappeared back to her own cottage.

I helped Jessica, Mike and Lauren clean up the breakfast dishes while some of the others changed into their gear. Several of us were going on a group hiking trip, although Alice had hastily backed out after our conversation this morning, Lauren had opted for sunbathing, and Tyler was still sleeping off his hangover. Throughout breakfast I struggled to stay focused on the conversations around me. It had been pretty late before I'd finally been able to get some sleep and it wasn't much more than a few short hours.

Bella had been up for quite a while too, as she snuck from her room twice during the night, once to use the bathroom and once to get a bottle of water from the fridge. I didn't let her know that I was awake though, because I really didn't know what I wanted to say to her yet. This morning she seemed just as distracted and confused as I felt.

I finished drying the last few pots and pans and was putting them away. Jessica was wiping and re-wiping the countertops and table and Mike was growing restless.

"Jess, come on, they're clean already. We need to go change if we're going to be ready."

She glanced in my direction and then nodded and muttered. "Okay, okay, I'm coming already."

I figured she had plenty of questions for me about the Bella situation; it had always been a hot button issue for Jessica when we were dating, but I didn't want to get into it in front of Mike.

I was folding towels and turned to her. "Yeah, I think we're going to leave around ten-thirty, so you better hustle." I hoped she'd stop stressing if she knew I was going also. It would give us a chance to clear the air, and I did owe her an apology.

--

Edward - Senior party 1998

Bella threw her head back and laughed at something one of the other girls said. God, she was stunning. Her hair was down and she wore a white shirt with just a tiny bit of lace at the top. The lace dipped down where the shirt fell over her cleavage, and I wanted to lean over her shoulder so I could peek down the front of it.

She wasn't like most the girls who spent hours planning the perfect scarf to go with the perfect shoes and layered on the makeup. She was simple and casual and real. She probably grabbed the first thing she came across in her closet, which was thankfully that tiny little jean skirt that damn near killed me every time she wore it because it showed off those legs; she had amazing legs… runner's legs. Of course she'd thrown on another one of Charlie's huge flannel shirts and tied it at her waist. The shoulder of it slipped and I could see the straps of her tank top, which made me think of her in nothing but underwear and that little white tank top.

It always did me in when she wore Charlie's shirts too. It should probably be gross that wearing her Dad's shirts could have the effect on me that it did, but I couldn't help it if those huge men's shirts made me imagine her naked in nothing but one of my own button downs.

I drained the rest of my beer and told the guys that I was going to go get a refill. Of course when I turned I found Jessica watching me again and groaned.

I should probably consider not drinking tonight. I'd screwed up royally the weekend before by hooking up with Jess again. I was at Newton's party, and in a foul mood. Bella had been at our house so that Alice could help her get ready for a date with Tyler Crowley.

So I'd decided to try and drown my problems in Newton's trashcan punch. I only had two cups of it, but holy shit that stuff was strong. And that's when Jessica had found me. We were making out before I realized what was happening and when I did, I'd tried to stop it, but she'd said all the right things, and my addled brain quickly rationalized that it wouldn't matter if we just hooked up one last time.

Jessica of course thought it meant that we'd gotten back together again. I tried to keep her at arm's length, because honestly, it wasn't her fault that I was an asshole.

At lunch on Friday she'd approached me and we'd walked outside. "Edward, can we talk?"

"I don't think there's anything to talk about Jessica."

"Then what was that last weekend?"

"Look, Jess, I'm going to say this as nicely as I can, but that was a mistake. It should never have happened."

She froze, and I could see the hurt in her eyes before they filled with tears.

"I'm sorry. I really am. I need to get going." I knew it wasn't painless, but at least I was honest with her.

Unfortunately, everything got messed up again that afternoon after practice. Crowley had been running his mouth in the locker room about him and Bella. I was trying really hard not to listen to it, but when he started telling them that he thought they'd sleep together this weekend I lost it. I threw him against the lockers and told him he should show some respect for a girl like Bella; that she deserved better than a dude who was going to talk smack about her in the locker room.

Emmett broke it up before it got out of hand and we both ended up suspended for a game. He shoved me out the door of the locker room and told me to go cool off.

Unfortunately Jessica had been standing outside waiting to talk to me again and overheard the whole thing. I never even knew she was standing there until she spoke from behind me. "So that's it? Bella Swan?"

I spun around to see Jessica standing there. Her face was flushed and her eyes were blazing.

I squinted at her. "What about Bella?"

She shook her head. "I know you think I'm stupid Edward, but I'm not. I'm not oblivious either, and now that I heard that it's all very clear to me."

She turned and walked away and I breathed a sigh of relief that it was finally done with. It wasn't nice, and I didn't spare her feelings like I'd hoped but it was done.

So here I was walking back to the guys with a fresh beer in my hand when she tried to intercept me again with the puppy dog eyes under too much eyeliner and thick mascara. I dodged her and went back to where Emmett, Newton, and Yorkie were standing near the bonfire. From this vantage point I could watch Bella where she was talking with my sister and some of their other friends.

She glanced over at Jessica, but Jess shot her a dirty look. I watched Bella's reaction and she was clearly hurt and confused. That shit wasn't right. It wasn't Bella's fault that Jessica got hurt.

I walked over to Jessica. "Why do you keep looking at Bella like that? She didn't do anything to you Jess."

She turned to me and snarled. "Seriously? Seriously Edward? You're going to talk to me about being nice to Bella?"

She was starting to yell, and a couple of people looked in our direction so I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the woods.

When we were out of earshot from everyone I dropped her hand and faced her. "Jessica you need to stop this. All you heard today was me telling Crowley that he should be more respectful. That's it. And none of it has anything to do with you. So stop being such a bitch."

"Christ Edward, six days ago you were fucking me. I thought we were getting back together and now I -"

"Whoa. Jessica, I never said that we were getting back together. Hell I even remember suggesting that we should stop. You're the one who said 'one last time'."

She nodded and her eyes began to tear up. "I know I did. But that's when I thought you were with me because a part of you missed me. Now I hear all that shit today in the locker room and I just realized that Bella was out on a date with Tyler that night."

"So?"

"Edward I've seen you watch her. I saw it all the time when we would go over to your house and she was there with Alice. You always made a point of talking to her, or teasing her."

"I'll say again, Jessica, so what?"

She was crying now. "So I just realized that you were just using me to forget about her, weren't you?"

I barked out a harsh laugh. I wanted to pretend that she was so far from the truth, but I couldn't. She might not be the smartest chip on the block, but she sure was observant.

"Jessica, listen, it doesn't matter why we did what we did. It shouldn't have happened. I didn't mean to make you think we were getting back together, because we aren't. We're done."

I held up my hands in front of me and leaned against a tree. "I'm sorry, but that's that."

"Fine." She started walking back towards the cars.

I stood there in the shadows for a few minutes and tried to collect my thoughts. I felt like shit for Jessica but she was right. I had used her to try and get Bella out of my head. Eventually I started walking back towards the bonfire. If nothing else, at least Emmett had agreed to drive tonight. Since Jessica appeared to be leaving I might as well try and have some fun.

But all thoughts of the party disappeared when I stepped to the edge of the trees just in time to catch a glimpse of Tyler and Bella walking down the path that led into the deeper parts of the woods. They were holding hands and I knew, from his locker room ramblings what he was hoping for.

I stood there for a few minutes raging against the need to chase them down and my own ego. I could look like a real idiot if I tried to drag her back home right now. And I knew Bella well enough to know that she'd be furious with me.

I thumped the side of my fist on the tree trunk a couple of times and kept remembering him going on and on in the locker room. She wouldn't do something like that here, would she?

Did it matter? They weren't going back there to play pinochle for Christ's sake.

I had a flash of Tyler pressing her against a tree and pushing himself on her, and thought I was going to be physically sick. Without even thinking about it I took off running.

--

Jasper had been reading through the trail maps. He was an avid hiker, and so were Mike, Bella, Garrett, and Kate, but the rest of us weren't as experienced. Nor did we have the right gear for the rocky ground on the harder trails, so he chose a trail that had a leg where some of them could branch off and take the harder parts including some climbing terrain.

It was not long after this break on the trail that I dropped back and so did Jessica.

I decided to start in first and make it easy on her. "So, Jess, I get the feeling that you and I should talk about what came up at the fire last night."

She glanced over her shoulder and slowed her pace. "You don't mind? It was a long time ago."

I nodded. "It was. And I should have apologized a lot sooner than this."

She arched an eyebrow at me. "So this thing between you and Bella, did it happen while we were dating?"

I shook my head. "Not when we were actually dating. She never would have done that to you. And it wasn't her fault when it did happen, believe me. But, you weren't wrong about everything Jess."

"So did you like her the whole time that we were going out?"

I frowned and nodded. "I probably wouldn't have admitted it at the time, but I did. I was a real dick to you."

Jessica sighed and shrugged. "It's okay. I got over it a long time ago. You and I never would have worked in the long run. I just felt like I was bordering on schizophrenic the way I was so sure about it, but you kept insisting that it was my imagination. I'm just glad to know that I wasn't stupid or crazy."

"Neither Jessica.. You're a great girl; Mike's a lucky guy. I never should have treated you like that."

She frowned and kicked a rock on the ground. "You know Edward, it's not all your fault, it's partly my own."

I squinted at her. "What do you mean?"

"Remember the summer we started dating and we all went to the beach on that Fourth of July?"

I nodded, it had been a fun day. Bella and I were getting along, even flirting a little bit. I was considering actively pursuing her.

Jessica kept her eyes on the trail as she started talking. "Before the fireworks started, you and I were building the fire and we started talking. Bella's name came up. I had a feeling you were thinking about asking her out, but I didn't ask you about it."

I felt my stomach start to knot up when I realized where she was going with this. "No, I remember. You made some crack about how Bella might as well change her name to Cullen."

Jessica nodded and swallowed.

I vocalized the memories as they came back to me. "You also volunteered that you'd asked her if she ever thought about dating me and she said that was gross because kissing me or Emmett would be like kissing her own brother."

Jessica nodded again, but wouldn't look at me.

I put a hand on her arm to make her face me. "Are you telling me that none of that was true?"

Her eyes started to water and she glanced at me and back down at the ground and shook her head. "I'm sorry."

I ran a hand through my hair and stared at the trees contemplating whether I even wanted to know the answer to my next question but I decided that I had to ask. "Jessica, are you saying that you never talked to Bella about me, or that you didn't tell me what she really said?"

She sighed. "I didn't have to ask her Edward, and I doubt she would have admitted it because of Alice." Then she whispered the rest. "But I knew that she liked you. I made up what I said that night hoping you would forget about her, but the whole time we dated that was all I thought about. That you would really rather be with her, and you would have been if I hadn't lied to you that night."

I took a deep breath and clasped my fingers behind my neck, staring over her head. I wanted to throttle her I was so angry, but I couldn't because something else was nagging at me. Yeah, this was new information and it might have changed some of the things that I'd done, but it didn't change or explain Bella's reaction that night. If anything I was even more confused.

I groaned. "Well, I guess we can just call it even, right? You did some things, I did some things. Let's just put it behind us."

She nodded and smiled. "Really? You don't hate me?"

I shook my head. I was actually really angry with her, but I didn't hate her. "No."

She grinned. "Good. I hope you and Bella work things out. You deserve to be happy."

Bella

The hike was a good time. Jasper picked a good trail for the few of us who wanted to get in some climbing. I was surprised that Edward opted to stick to the trails; he could handle it physically, but as he pointed out, his running shoes really weren't cut out for the terrain we were going to cover. Edward had been really quiet for most of the morning, and on the way back from the ridge he hadn't spoken a word. In fact his mood seemed to resonate off of him; he seemed almost angry.I decided to give him some space and chatted with Garrett, Kate, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper on the way back. Alice had decided to keep Lauren company in the lounge chairs back at the cottage.

As we came through the last stretch through the woods, the skies were darkening in front of us and by the time we emerged from them the rain was already coming down. Everyone started to jog and then, as the rain picked up, so did our pace. Edward pulled up next to me and I decided to push past him a bit. He picked it up and met my stride, as did the rain, so I pushed a little harder. The last hundred meters turned into a full-on sprinting race between the two of us through puddles and driving rain. When we reached the steps onto the deck we both took them two at a time and nearly ran over Alice standing at the top.

Thankfully, she jumped out of the way and turned back as we cleared the top steps. She waved her arms in front of her and shouted. "Safe!"

We were both laughing and Edward folded his arms and laced his fingers behind his neck while I bent over and braced my hands on my knees trying to catch my breath.

He coughed a couple of times and then laughed. "Alright Alice, you call it. Who won?"

I heard her say "Bella, by a nose," but it sounded like it was from a long ways away. That's when I noticed my vision was dark around the edges and I was dizzy. I slid down onto the deck and rested my head against my knees.

Edward squatted in front of me with a worried expression. He put a hand on my shoulder. "Hey. You okay?"

I peeked up at him. "Yeah, I think I just need some protein."

"Okay, well I think Garrett and Jasper are going to make some sandwiches, but how about I go grab you a yogurt or some cheese and crackers first."

Alice was watching me with concern and she shook her head. "No Edward, you stay with her. I'll get it."

Before either of us could voice an opinion she disappeared through the door and returned quickly with the food and a glass of juice.

I began to feel better, the longer I sat, though now I was a bit embarrassed. I thanked Alice and took the food from her. Edward sat down next to me and tried to make idle conversation, but it was obvious that he was watching me carefully.

Alice pulled up a chair and so did Rosalie and Emmett. Within a few minutes, my situation was forgotten and the small group of us were just hanging out talking.

Kate wandered outside a few minutes later. "So I checked the weather. The rain should pass us over by this evening, but it will probably hold steady for at least the next few hours."

There was some grumbling about the football game that we'd planned, but Alice, ever the planner, piped up. "Not a problem, I've planned some games just in case. We could play charades, or Pictionary, and I brought cards."

I glanced at Emmett the same time he caught my eye. He shouted "Euchre tournament!"

Alice and Rosalie both groaned and tried to veto the idea, but Kate and Edward were in favor of it.

Edward spoke up, "How about we vote at lunch."

I nodded. "Good idea. I think I'm going to go take a shower."

Edward jumped up and offered me a hand to help me but he held it just a bit longer than necessary and watched me carefully. I lightly slugged him in the gut.

"I'm fine… really. I just needed to eat something."

"Okay, okay. Sorry, it's the doctor in me."

He stepped aside and let me pass him after a quick squeeze of my hand that made my stomach flip.

I climbed the stairs, feeling pretty steady again and opened the door to the room I shared with Lauren. I was immediately overwhelmed by a mix of hairspray, perfume, and probably some body lotions. I'm sure it was meant to be attractive, but the combination was overwhelming and nauseating. I shook my head quickly to clear my senses and tried to focus on not breathing through my nose. Lauren glanced at me and I smiled, but her eyes narrowed in return. As I was pulling out my clothes and small bag of toiletries, she kept making these irritated huffing noises and exaggerated sighs. I ignored her until just before I turned to leave and she finally spoke.

"So, Edward and I had a little chat yesterday afternoon."

"Oh?" I assumed an innocent tone.

She looked irritated that I wasn't engaging her bitchiness. "You know, I asked you outright what you knew about him so you could have just told me that you two had a thing going instead of letting me make an ass out of myself."

I shrugged one shoulder. "I didn't really know where we stood, and I'm not naturally territorial. So I left it up to him. Besides, if he really wants to be with me I shouldn't have to stake my claim, should I?"

She rolled her eyes dramatically. "So, if I were interested in Tyler, is the same thing going to happen? You two seem pretty chummy. You're not dating him too are you?"

"No, but be careful, he's been through a lot lately. He won't be interested in anything long-"

She sighed dramatically. "Bella, he's a big boy and I know all about his divorce. You know, a little no-strings-attached fun might just do him some good."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head slowly. Did she have no self-respect at all? "Whatever Lauren."

I took my things to the bathroom and started the shower. My conversation with Lauren got me thinking some more about that night again. Prior to this weekend, it was the last time that I had been caught between Edward and Tyler.

--

Bella - Senior party 1998

I watched Edward and Jessica disappear between the trees and into the darkness and then sighed as the familiar ache in my chest started to throb again.

A minute later a familiar arm wrapped around my waist and Tyler's slightly strong cologne tickled my nose. "Hey. There you are… what are you doing?"

I shrugged. "Just hanging around."

He whispered in my ear. "Wanna go for a walk? Find someplace a little more private?"

I fought the urge to look in the direction that Edward had just taken Jessica and nodded to Tyler. He took my hand and started weaving me through the bodies. I garnered a few knowing looks from some of my friends, and felt strangely proud to be seen sneaking off into the woods.

I'd spent so many years waiting for Edward to notice me that I felt empowered to finally be noticed by someone.

Just before we reached the edge of the woods though, I saw Jessica come stumbling out. She was clearly crying and I stopped, watching her. She scanned the crowd and our eyes met. She looked from me to Tyler and smirked before turning and walking away.

"Wonder what that's all about?"

Tyler scoffed. "Cullen's probably being an asshole. He's hitting it pretty hard tonight and I don't think they're getting along that well."

"Really?"

"Yeah, they got into a pretty heated argument yesterday after practice. She wants to get back together, but he doesn't."

"Hmm."

We walked in silence for a little while, and just before he started pulling me into the woods we heard footsteps on the path behind us. I turned around to see Edward running up towards us.

"Hey Cullen. If you're looking for Jessica I saw her heading back towards the road."

"What? Oh. No, I'm not. I need to talk to Bella."

I didn't let go of Tyler's hand. "Is Jessica okay? She looked upset."

Edward ran a hand through his hair. "Um. Probably not, I don't know. Can I talk to you for a sec?"

I shook my head. "Edward I don't want to get involved. She's been really pissy with me lately and I don't even know why. So I don't think I should-"

"It's not about Jessica. Crowley, can you give us a few minutes please?"

Tyler glanced at me, and then Edward. "Maybe later. We're going-"

Edward took a step closer to Tyler. "No. Not later. I need to talk to Bella now. She'll meet you back at the bonfire."

Tyler glanced at me. I rolled my eyes because Edward had been ignoring me ever since prom and now, now, he just has to talk to me?

"Fine. Tyler, I'll find you in a few."

He nodded and walked back up the path.

Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me behind him deeper into the woods.

When he turned to face me, the woods were thick so we had to stand close together.

"What are you doing with him?"

"With Tyler?"

"Yeah. You know what kind of a player he is, don't you?"

"I've heard the rumors. But it's really none of your business."

"Isn't it? Bella I'm not going to sit by and watch you do something stupid like that."

"Like what? Edward you've hardly talked to me once since prom. Now you want to jump in and go all big brother on me?"

"Big brother? Trust me, Bella, I don't think of you as my little sister."

"Then why do you treat me like one?"

Edward turned around so that I was staring at his back. He reached up and started pulling on his hair with both hands. I could see his shoulders moving as he took big, deep breaths in frustration.

"You know what Edward, I'm a big girl now. I don't need you taking care of me."

I turned to leave but before I could take my second step he grabbed me.

The next thing I knew he'd backed me into a tree and his green eyes were inches from mine and glowing in intensity.

"I am not your big brother Bella.

--

I had been so lost in my own thoughts and memories, that I'd finished my shower on auto-pilot and the water was starting to run cold. I shut it off and climbed out.

After drying off and dressing I stepped out of the bathroom. Everyone had begun filling their plates with food and sitting down at the table. My stomach growled and I quickly deposited my toiletries in the bedroom and made my way downstairs to join the others.

Over lunch it was decided that we would, indeed, have a euchre tournament. Names were written down on paper and drawn at random from a bag to decide teams. Emmett, of course volunteered to do the drawing. He picked Edward and Jasper, then Lauren and Mike, Garrett and Jessica, Tyler and Alice, Rosalie and Kate, and that left, of course… me and Emmett.

He hissed a quiet "Yes" and we high-fived.

Immediately Rosalie and Jasper groaned in disapproval, and Alice started yelling. "No way! You guys cheat!"

Emmett shouted back. "That's never been proven!"

Alice propped her hands on her hips and squinted at him. "Oh but it's so convenient that whenever you guys are teamed up you always win!"

Emmett raised his hands in front of him and smirked. "It's the skillz baby, just the skillz."

Edward held up two hands to quiet them both. "Tell you what Alice, let's just make a rule that anyone caught cheating automatically loses that game. Deal?"

He looked to Alice and she nodded, as did Emmett and I. We'd never been caught.

Once that was settled, we established three playing areas and the teams faced off.

We immediately knocked out Mike and Lauren with ease. Signals weren't even necessary as she didn't really have an understanding of the game and kept reneging. Poor Mike was frustrated because she had insisted that she knew what she was doing.

Edward and Jasper beat Tyler and Alice, while Kate and Rosalie gave Garrett and Jessica a sound thumping.

The teams re-shuffled and we played Kate and Rosalie next. It was a much closer game and Rosalie was trying to keep a close eye on us, but Emmett knew which of her buttons to push and could easily distract her. It was the last hand when he started asking her questions about the wedding and distracted her long enough for me to casually shift my ring from my index finger to my ring finger, telling Emmett that diamonds would be good. Then I held my cards between my index finger and thumb, showing him three loose fingers, the number of trump I was holding. Finally, I scratched my left earlobe telling him which Bauer I was holding.

In the last game we were playing Edward and Jasper. Edward quickly pulled Jasper aside and they began talking low in the corner. As Edward continued to whisper, Jasper nodded along. Throughout the game Emmett kept trying to chat them up, but they were unflappable. If Edward was watching me, Jasper was watching Emmett, leaving very little room for signals. It was seven to five when I caught a look from Emmett telling me to distract. I started fanning my face and sighed.

Edward glanced at me quickly. "You okay?"

I frowned and nodded. "Just a little dizzy again."

I set my cards face down and leaned forward onto my hands for dramatic effect, but kept my eyes on Emmett. Edward leaned over and put his hand on my forehead as Emmett scratched his chest quickly with his thumb, holding out four fingers in front of him. Then he cocked his head first to the left and then to the right like he was trying to crack his neck.

Edward tucked my hair behind my ear and leaned towards me to speak in my ear. "Would you like me to get you a glass of water so you can focus on his signals or should we just declare our victory right now and you can go lay down?"

I locked eyes with Edward. "What?"

He smirked at Emmett and then back at me. "You were about to call hearts. If so, Emmett would have been holding four trump, including the right and left Bauers. Emmett, show us your hand. If I'm wrong, you guys win."

Emmett's jaw fell open for a second and then his face scrunched up and he threw his cards on the table with a loud, "Fuck!"

Edward started laughing. "Bella, I suppose Emmett never told you where he learned those signals, did he?"

I groaned and rolled my eyes. "Christ Emmett! Edward taught you? Why would you even try that then?"

Jasper started laughing and he and Edward knocked knuckles as some cheering rose from the other tables when they realized we'd been busted.

Emmett started laughing. "Shit! I forgot Bells. Edward didn't teach me, but we both learned from that dude – what was his name Edward?"

Edward was laughing and stacking the cards. "Matt."

The rest of the games broke up and it was decided that we needed to split into groups of men and women for some girl time. As Alice, Lauren and Jessica were plotting pedicures and facials the guys were setting up a poker game. I would have preferred to stay for the poker game, but went along with the rest of the girls.

Edward

I watched Bella head out the door and helped the rest of the guys set up the poker game. I was again distracted and kept finding myself staring into space thinking about how Bella smelled when I leaned in close enough to whisper in her ear. When she turned those brown eyes on me I had to fight the urge to lean in and kiss her right then.

My thoughts were suddenly brought back to reality by a peanut bouncing off my forehead. My eyes snapped to Garrett who was the offending thrower of said peanut and I rubbed my forehead. "What the fuck?"

He laughed and tossed another one in his mouth. "Welcome back dude, are you going to ante or what?"

In the center of the table before me was the small pile where everyone else had already thrown in their ante.

"Alright dick." I picked up a chip with one hand and tossed it into the center of the table while I gathered my cards with the other.

Emmett snorted. "Anything you want to share with the rest of us?"

I glanced at Mike and Tyler pointedly. "Nope."

Emmett and Garrett nodded their understanding and I silently thanked them for not pushing the situation. I was glad for the mental reprieve from all the thinking I'd been doing since last night. My cards were crap and I tossed them down and scrubbed my face with my hands before I stood up.

"I'm going to grab a Coke. Anyone want anything?"

Tyler glanced up. "Yeah, I'll have one too, but grab the rum on your way back too."

Mike agreed. "Yeah, me too. In fact, if this is going to be the only chance for some actual bachelor time, then I think we should do some shots."

I shook my head as I went after the Cokes, and Mike grabbed a couple of liquor bottles.

A couple of hours later Mike and Tyler were both drunk enough that they were useless for poker and were getting too wound up for indoor activities. The rain had stopped and Mike thought we should go into town and find a bar. I reminded him that our only forms of transportation were either to walk or take the two bikes.

Apparently they took that as a challenge and the two drunken idiots ran out the door. Garrett, Emmett, Jasper and I followed them out onto the deck and watched them climb onto the bikes and start down the driveway. When Mike fell before he actually managed to get the bike moving we all busted up laughing. But he didn't give up easily and climbed back on. After one more wipeout they made the turn onto the road and we lost sight of them.

We were all still laughing as we filed back into the cottage. Emmett chuckled. "Jessica's going to be pissed."

I laughed harder and nodded. "Yeah she is. Glad that's not my problem."

In the living room the video had moved on to Rosalie's high school days and we decided to settle in and watch it for a bit.

We laughed at Rosalie's big hair, knowing she'd bruise us if she was listening. Jasper changed DVD's and we were immediately treated to some footage of our senior year. We watched highlights from a football game and laughed at Emmett's pathetic attempt at growing his hair out.

After some videos from Christmas was the New Year's Eve party during which Garrett snickered loudly at the unfortunate green silk shirt I'd let Alice talk me into. Then the picture flipped back on and there was some wiggling and shaking of the camera and then it shifted and focused on Emmett standing before the mirror at the bottom of the stairs, trying to tie a bowtie.

The camera kept shaking, bouncing, and jiggling, while it went in and out of focus. It made it difficult to focus on Emmett as he kept twisting it and pulling it trying to get it to stay straight before giving up and dropping his arms to his sides in exasperation. "Mom, I've tried a hundred times and it won't go straight. I don't know why you wouldn't let me get a clip on."

Esme could be heard from behind the camera. "Because they're tacky and you should know how to tie a bowtie by now Emmett. Edward does and your father's shown you more times than him. Here, honey, take the camera while I help Emmett. They'll be down soon."

Garrett looked at me with wide hopeful eyes. "Is this prom?"

The camera shook and jiggled some more as it was handed over before righting itself again;it was much steadier than when Esme had been holding it. The camera zoomed in on Esme as she expertly tied Emmett's tie, then gently patted him on the cheek with a smile. He turned back to the mirror and smoothed down his lapels before buttoning and unbuttoning the jacket.

I chuckled. "Now we know why Carlisle always held the video camera. I was going to get nauseous if Esme held it much longer."

Emmett nodded. "Yeah, I remember I had to hold my breath the whole time she was tying my tie so she wouldn't smell the alcohol. I think we only got away with it because she'd already had a glass or two of wine."

Esme's voice from outside the frame could be heard prompting Carlisle. "Here come the girls. Get the girls!"

The camera quickly panned to the top of the stairs as first Alice, then Bella were just beginning their descent. Esme could be heard chirping about how lovely they looked followed by Emmett's low whistle. The camera focused in first on Alice as she grinned at the whistle, then Bella several steps behind as she blushed.

The girls reached Emmett at the bottom of the stairs and the camera followed Esme as she spun Alice and tugged at the back of her skirt, checking for anything out of place. She then turned to Bella and repeated the motions.

We heard a quiet sigh from behind the camera.

Esme looked them each over once and then told them to wait while she ran to get the other camera.

In the video Alice and Emmett were on the periphery whisper-arguing over something that Emmett kept fiddling with in his breast pocket. Alice was wagging a finger in his face. Bella, who was standing next to them with her back turned, applied lipstick in the mirror.

Emmett started chuckling. "Alice was so pissed that I snuck out that flask."

Esme could be heard in the distant background. "Hang on kids, it must be in the office. I'll just be another minute."

Garrett never took his eyes of the TV as he asked. "Edward, where are you?"

I had just been wondering the same thing, so I shrugged. "I must have still been upstairs."

We all watched the video in silence for a few moments. It didn't take long to notice that while Alice and Emmett were there, they mostly flitted in and out of the screen while the camera stayed focused primarily on Bella.

Bella opened her purse and checked its contents.

Bella fiddled with her bracelet.

"Dude, did Dad not give a shit at all about his own kids, or what? I mean, I know he liked Baby Bel, but damn, we are in the room, but you'd hardly even know it."

Bella bent over to adjust the strap on the heel of her shoe. The camera actually zoomed in at this point, focusing on her legs and the curve of her behind.

Garrett's head tilted to the side.

Jasper started watching the ceiling.

The awkwardness in the room was palpable.

Emmett cleared his throat next to me. "Umm…does anyone else think this is getting a little pervy?"

There was another quiet sigh from behind the camera and the whispered words. "She's going to be the death of me."

Emmett started to make a choking sound and Garrett jumped up from the couch. "Holy shit! That's the line…"

He was pointing at the TV, but his head kept twisting back and forth between me and the television, his eyes as big as saucers.

The camera finally zoomed back out again as Esme could be heard in the distant background but moving closer. "Here it is, I found it. It was on Carlisle's desk. He changed the film for me before leaving for the hospital."

The camera finished zooming back out to wide frame so that everyone was visible.

Esme's voice was now very close to the camera. "Edward, dear give me the camera and go line up with everyone so that we can take pictures."

The camera shook and wiggled as it was handed over then refocused as we all watched me move out from behind it, walk across the room and stand next to Bella.

It was at this point that Garrett started laughing maniacally and jumping up and down.

He was gasping for breath and pointing at the screen. "That's the line… the line from the book… from the wedding. Fuck… remember? Something about her bosom… Hang on. I'll be right back."

He took off running out the door to the smallest cottage. Thankfully the girls were in the other one and wouldn't see him running around like a mad man with that damn book.

Emmett and Jasper both watched him run out the door and turned to look at me. Jasper silently shook with laughter as Emmett looked mildly stunned as his mouth opened and closed a few times.

"Dude, I didn't know you…. Why didn't you ever…? I mean… you never said a word… did she know? Well obviously she knew… you kissed her at some point apparently. She wasn't interested? Well, but the book… obviously she was… what the fuck?"

I just sat there shaking my head and gestured towards the television where it was now paused. "Honestly Emmett, I don't remember any of that shit."

"Well, okay, I get that, we'd already been hitting it pretty hard, but I'm guessing that you probably remember why you said that?"

I sighed. "Yeah, I kind of had a little thing for her back then. It's not a big deal."

"Not a big deal? Dude, she was at our house every single day for, like, ever, and you had a thing for her and never did a damn thing about it? Worse than that, you were actually kind of a dick to her. You do know that, right?"

I cringed and pulled on my beer, wiping my mouth on my hand. "Yeah, I don't know. Defense mechanism maybe?"

Garrett came running back in the door at that point with the marked up copy of the book. He ran in front of us and stood, clearing his throat for dramatic effect and began reading.

"I turned from the bar and nearly walked right into Andy Carter. I was stunned to say the least. I hadn't realized that he and Aaron Todd might still be friends even though they weren't teammates anymore.. I stumbled and his hand shot to my waist to steady me. My traitorous body's reaction to him was strong and undeniable.

Andy took in my appearance with a feral smile, as if I were something to eat. His eyes met mine, and then slowly traveled lower, pausing briefly at my heaving bosom. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed 'You're going to be the death of me yet.'"

Jasper listened intently and then turned to look at me. "I was there when she was going through the videos. I never heard what you said because she was going through them on fast-forward to catalog them, but I know that this particular one was her own personal copy. Which obviously means that she's had this video all this time, even before writing that book."

Garrett dropped the book on the coffee table and made a 'cha-ching' sound like a cash register.

I threw a hand out at the side in a one armed shrug. "Okay! I give up. I don't know what to say anymore. There are obviously a lot of coincidences that point to a strong correlation between our history and that damn book. But I don't for the life of me understand why. Remember that kiss she mentioned?"

They all nodded. "Okay, well it happened, and when it did she made herself abundantly, and I mean painfully clear that she was not interested in me in that way at all."

Garrett squinted at me. "What do you mean by painfully clear? What happened?"

But before he finished asking questions we could hear the girls outside on their way back to the main house. It was close to dinner and everyone would be participating in the stir-fry bar that had been planned.

I stood up and shook my head quickly. "Just drop it okay? Obviously I plan on talking to her about it soon, this shit has been messed up long enough."

Garrett looked like I'd just taken away his favorite toy. "You mean I can't ask her about it even now? It's obviously –"

"No Garrett. Not a word. You two either." I pointed at Jasper and Emmett.

They both nodded so I turned back to Garrett. "I'm serious dude. If you brought it up, she'd be so embarrassed. She and I are doing well. Please let me get into this at my own pace and not in front of everyone. I promise that I will tell you everything as soon as I know anything."

He scowled at me and nodded.

I arched an eyebrow at him.

"I promise E! Fuck! Give me some credit."

I breathed a sigh of relief just as the girls walked in the side door of the house. Bella smiled to me as she walked towards the kitchen, but then her eyes flicked to the television screen behind me which was still paused on the picture of all of us posing for pictures. Instantly her eyes widened in fear and then they flicked back to me, then Garrett, Jasper, Emmett and back to me.

I didn't know what to do so I just shrugged and smiled. "Yeah, so that was interesting."

She bit the corner of her lip. "You had a lot to drink that night. You and Emmett were both a few sheets to the wind on our way to dinner. I doubted you even remembered."

I shook my head. "I didn't. And I've never seen this before. Why didn't you say something?"

"Like what Edward? Your parents gave me a copy sometime that summer, but I never watched it until after you left for Chicago. Was I just supposed to call you up and say 'by the way, when you were really drunk at prom you said some things…'" She shrugged and her face fell.

Then she muttered towards the floor. "The next time I saw you, you were with Tanya."

She walked around the corner and into the kitchen without looking at me.

I was hit with the impact of her words 'with Tanya'. That was Bella's polite way of saying that the next time we saw each other I acted like a dick the entire time and basically called her a whore. I exhaled a hard gust of air, and physically fought against the urge to run into the kitchen, grab her and wrap my arms around her, refusing to let her go until she forgave me for all of my asshole behavior over the last fifteen years. Instead, I stood in the middle of the living room grinding my teeth, pinching the bridge my nose, my eyes squeezed shut as I took a few breaths to get myself under control.

I heard some of the guys moving around me and when I opened my eyes again, the book had disappeared from the coffee table and I caught sight of Garrett's back as he was stepping out the front door, presumably to go put it away again. Emmett had left the room, but Jasper hadn't moved. He had a sympathetic look on his face and caught my eye as I dropped back into the recliner.

He leaned towards me. "Look, I don't know what that meant about you being with Tanya other than I know she hated her, but obviously there's more to it. Edward, you guys have so much history of hot and cold, hesitations and things not said. You can't change the past, but you do have an opportunity to learn from your mistakes."

I nodded and he stood up and left me sitting in the living room by myself. Everyone else was behind me working on starting dinner and I finally stood to join them.

Bella was standing at the island cutting some chicken into pieces, her brow was pulled together like she was worried. I walked up next to her and rested a hand on the small of her back. She glanced up at me and mouthed 'sorry'.

I frowned and whispered. "About what?"

"That they saw it, obviously."

I shook my head. "I don't care."

She blinked a few times and gave me a strange look like she didn't understand anything I'd just said, but then she dropped it and pointed to a bag of nuts and seasonings. "Could you put those things in some bowls?"

I smiled and slid my hand around her side to tickle her waist. She squealed and wiggled her hips. It was meant to be innocent, but I was standing closer than I'd meant and her little wiggle brushed against the front of me. I sucked some air through my teeth as her movements started to cause a reaction, so I dropped my hand to her hip and squeezed it to still her. I lowered my mouth to her ear. "Don't do that. Or at least, please don't do that here and now."

I heard her breath catch and her hands froze over the chicken.

I felt emboldened by her reaction and kissed the top of her head and then leaned back down to her ear and whispered to her. "Bella, don't think I'm angry about any of that. I don't regret what I said on that video and I don't regret kissing you. I do, however, regret a lot of things that I never had the balls to do…before now anyway. Now, I promise you, I will not make the same mistakes. There will be no mixed signals."

Bella

My mouth went completely dry, my entire body temperature shot up a couple degrees, and my hands started to shake. He patted my hip one last time and then slid behind me and picked up the bag of nuts and moved over to the counter where the bowls were stored.

Kate had been standing on the other side of the island and I glanced at her. Her lips were pinched tightly together in a straight line that was clearly being held in place by her teeth.

She put down the knife she was using to chop the peppers and onions and started towards the trash with a handful of onion skins. As she moved past me she paused with one arched eyebrow and whispered. "Should I get you a cold washcloth? Your face looks like it's about to burst into flames."

"No. I'm good thanks." I tried to speak clearly but it came out in a choked whisper that made Kate laugh.

"What I wouldn't give to know what he just said to get that kind of reaction. It had to have been good."

Jessica walked in the side door then and called out to everyone. "Hey guys? Anyone know where Mike and Tyler are?"

There were a series of looks exchanged between Edward, Emmett and Jasper and then Emmett answered for the three of them. "They went into town." It came out sounding like a question.

Jessica glanced at the table where the evidence of their poker game was still sitting out. "Did they walk?"

This time the three of them all started snickering and Edward answered her. "No, at least not when they left. They took the bikes."

She squinted at him. "They're drunk?"

He nodded and then looked at the floor like a shamed child.

She smacked her forehead. "Aw fuck! Those two always get into trouble together. You know, I didn't bring bail money, so if they get arrested it's on you assholes since you let them leave."

Then she stormed back out the door as the three amigos broke up into fits of laughter.

Emmett finally choked out. "Told you she'd be pissed."

Edward laughed. "And I told you that it's not my problem."

Rosalie walked by and smacked them both in the back of the head then reached across the island and got Jasper too. "Nobody better get arrested on our weekend."

We finished the prep work and then each of us took turns building a stir-fry. Edward asked me to do one for both of us since he wouldn't know what would be good together.

He made moaning sounds throughout his meal that rivaled the noises he made over Kate's sausage gravy so I was pleased. When we were finished he stood, leaned over and kissed the top of my head. "That was awesome, thank you. You relax and I'll do your share of the cleanup." Then he took both our plates and left me sitting at the table a little unsettled.

The dishes were mostly washed and put away when a shout from the back of the cottage grabbed our attention. Edward was closest and must have seen it first because he started laughing, dropped his towel, and then immediately headed for the door.

I went to the window and watched as he jogged down the driveway towards a very drunk Mike Newton who had just crashed his bike into a tree next to the driveway. Tyler was still on his own bike, but was propped up on one leg, doubled over the handlebars and laughing hysterically.

Eventually Mike was able to stand upright and Edward walked the bike back to the garage along with Tyler. Jessica showed up from somewhere and was chewing Mike out so Edward just pointed back at the cottage and Mike nodded at him.

When Edward came back in Tyler was following him and they were both laughing. I breathed a sigh of relief that the two of them were finally getting along. I arched an eyebrow when they both looked at me. "Is he okay?"

Tyler snorted. "Wasted."

Edward nodded. "He's got quite a few abrasions that need to be cleaned, but I think he'll be okay. How many times did he wipe out anyway?"

Tyler laughed harder. "Probably four or five times on the way to the bar. I lost count on the way back. A Lot. I know he's wasted, but I'm actually questioning whether he's ever been able to ride a bike."

Edward laughed harder as he headed upstairs. He came back down a few minutes later with a first aid kit that he must have packed in his bag. I realized that he'd probably packed it with me in mind.

Kate approached him. "I'll clean him up. Why don't you go help build the fire."

He nodded and looked at me. "Wanna come with me?"

I smiled. "I'll be down soon. I need to change; it's cooling off a little. And Mike and Tyler haven't eaten, so I thought I'd whip up something for them."

His face fell dramatically and I instantly regretted it. He didn't look at me as he nodded and started towards the door. "Okay, well I'll save you a seat. And hurry, I feel like I've hardly seen you today."

That was all I needed. I tossed my towel on the counter. "You know what, you're right. Dumb and Dumber can fend for themselves. Let me change and I'll be right down."

His face lit up again and he grinned. "Okay, see you in a bit."

I hurried upstairs and wrestled into a pair of jeans and grabbed a fleece pullover. As an afterthought I grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge and started down to the fire pit.

They had the fire going already and everyone settled into their seats. Jessica and Tyler apparently forced Mike to eat something, but they weren't able to stop him from continuing to drink. Tyler seemed tipsy, but I got the impression he slowed down when they went into town so that he could keep an eye on Mike.

The conversation was easy and relaxed; I was surprised that it was almost two hours before the topic of our kiss came up again. Alice had been sitting quietly, looking very focused when all of a sudden her head snapped up.

"New Years!"

We all went quiet and looked at her. Rosalie snorted and then retorted just as enthusiastically. "No. It's June! Buy a calendar!"

Alice waved a hand at her. "No, no. Is that when you kissed? Was it New Years one year? Like a happy new year midnight thing?"

She'd been peppering me with these questions all day long. We'd already covered Christmas mistletoe, a game of truth or dare, and a variety of other random guesses.

I rolled my eyes at her persistence. "No Alice, can you just drop it please. It's nobody's business. I should have just lied last night."

"Uh no. You can't lie during a game like that Bella, it defeats the whole purpose."

"Alice, I wasn't under oath."

Tyler had been listening quietly from his side of the fire where he was conspicuously tucked under a blanket with Lauren. "What are you guys talking about? What should you have lied about, Bella?"

Lauren answered him. "Oh yeah, I don't think you were out here anymore. It was big news at the bonfire last night. Bella and Edward kissed at some point during their lives but won't say when or where. As if we care."

Tyler turned to face me with really big eyes and I knew instantly that I was totally fucked. "Aha! I knew it!"

I glared at him. "Shut up Tyler!"

He shook his head vehemently. "Nuh uh. You should have just told me he kissed you. You did punch him didn't you? I never did believe that whole 'I fell and he tried to catch me' bullshit. That was clearly a shiner he was sporting. And a good one too. Well done!"

Emmett, Alice, and Garrett all shouted at once. "You punched him?"

Garrett started bouncing up and down to scoot his chair closer so that he could hear every detail.

I just stared at my beer bottle and groaned. "Oh God. I can't believe this."

Garrett leaned towards Tyler and grabbed the armrest of his chair and shook it. "Dude Tyler. Spill. What do you know?"

Tyler kicked his feet up in surprise but laughed, enjoying the spotlight.

He focused on Emmett, who would most likely remember most of the evening as well. "Senior party, '98 right after you guys graduated. Bella and I had gone out a couple of times and I had high hopes for that night."

I noticed Lauren rolled her eyes and looked away, but everyone else was captivated.

Edward snorted. "High hopes. That's a polite way of summarizing what you were saying in the locker room."

Tyler rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I know. I was a douche bag in high school. But Bella knows I feel badly about that. Water under the bridge."

He was focused on Emmett and Garrett. "So we were just going to slip away into the woods for a little macking when this dude," he pointed at Edward, "he comes running up behind us and basically tells me to pound pavement or he'll pound on me."

"Bella was clearly pissed but I wasn't going to mess with him and I knew that he'd never do anything to hurt her the way he was always so damn protective, so I split. And clearly she can take care of herself. I ran into him a few days later and he had a nasty shiner."

Edward leaned towards me. "Bet your hand took even longer to heal than my face."

Alice gasped and Emmett choked on his beer. "Wait, you got that bruise from Bella punching you? You said she fell."

Alice gasped. "Yeah, you said you were in the woods and she was upset because of the shit Tyler was saying about her, that she fell down and you tried to catch her and she hit you with her elbow."

I snorted.

Edward chuckled. "Yeah, she fell down all right. More like her fist fell into my face."

Emmett howled with laughter and leaned forward. "Wait. You punched him? Why? I mean, that's awesome, but just because he kissed you?"

"No." I said.

"Yes." Edward said at the same time.

I looked at Edward and he frowned at me. "What do you mean 'no'? I kissed you and you punched me. It's pretty simple Bella."

"You know that's not all there was to it."

His eyebrows arched upwards. "No, I don't."

I felt my anger ignite and I glared at him. I spoke very slowly. "Yes. You do."

He looked at me like I had grown a second head. "I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. I kissed you… that's it. You could have just told me to fuck off, but you chose to hit me. "

I jumped out of my seat. "You know, you haven't changed a bit. You still act like you are so perfect; you're so narcissistic it's pathetic."

He shot me a nasty look. "And you're just the picture of level headedness."

I glared at him. "You know most people don't take kindly to being jerked around repeatedly for years and years. It gets a little irritating. I guess I'm finally just sick and tired of putting up with your bullshit. When we get home you need to move the fuck out Edward and leave me the hell alone."

His expression turned hard. "Fine. No problem."

I stood up from my chair and started to walk off. I wasn't watching where I was going and it was dark but I needed to burn off some energy and get as far away from him as I could. Of course, I couldn't outrun the memories, the pain, or the tears.

--

Bella – Senior Party 1998

He'd backed me into a tree and his green eyes were inches from mine and glowing in intensity.

"I am not your big brother Bella."

And then he was on me. His hands were at my waist, strong yet gentle. His lips were soft but intense. They pressed against mine and demanded to be received as they started moving, sucking and tugging. I responded to him without even thinking and reached up and pulled on him, tugging him closer. Then his tongue was stroking against mine.

I could taste the beer that he'd been drinking earlier and smell it on his breath. But I didn't care, because it was Edward, and he was kissing me and it was everything I'd ever hoped it would be. I forgot about everything else but him.

One hand was braced against the tree behind me and the other ran up my side, over my arm and shoulder, until he was palming my neck and his fingers were getting tangled in my hair; his thumb stroking my jaw.

When we finally needed air he didn't back away, but used his hold on me to tip my head up and he ran his open mouth down over my chin and back along my jaw, nipping lightly and then sucking at the spot below my ear. His breath was warm and my own breathing was heavy as I ran my fingers up his back and over his shoulder until I could scratch and tug at his hair.

But then he spoke one word. "Bella"

It came out as a ragged sigh laced with longing; so different than any other time he'd said my name before. So much so, that it shocked me back from wherever my mind had wandered off to.

I put both hands on his chest and shoved him back hard, desperate to get space between us so I could think again.

"Edward wait."

--

Edward

I was stunned. Shocked. I had absolutely no idea what she was so angry about.

"You know most people don't take kindly to being jerked around repeatedly for years and years. It gets a little irritating. I guess I'm finally just sick and tired of putting up with your bullshit. When we get home you need to move the fuck out Edward and leave me the hell alone."

Her words cut like a knife. It was the last thing I wanted to hear, but I couldn't stop the defensive wall from going up. "Fine. No problem."

I saw a flicker of hurt pass her face when I said it, but I couldn't understand why. I agreed to do what she asked, so why would that hurt her? I watched as she slipped between Garrett and Rosalie and started to walk across the yard.

As she walked away from me I felt a physical pull to follow her, but a warring need for self preservation caused my entire body to go rigid from the internal conflict.

I tipped my head back and closed my eyes, wishing that all the shocked and inquiring faces around me would disappear while they were closed. I vaguely recognized that I was pinching the bridge of my nose again. It was that same nervous habit that Garrett had pointed out was in Bella's book and I sighed in frustration.

Then my entire chair was rocked by a sudden impact and Garrett was shouting at me. I opened my eyes and saw Garrett's foot dropping to the ground and realized that he had just kicked my chair.

"You fucking idiot! What the fuck are you doing just sitting there? Get your ass out of that chair and go after her!"

Alice was on the other side of me and she chimed in. "He's right Edward. Go. Quit dancing around the issue."

I paused. "Alice, we haven't even talked about this yet."

She rolled her eyes dramatically. "Seriously? Do we even need to? What's the worst that could happen? You guys give it a shot and it doesn't work. Maybe it will be awkward and tense whenever we all get together. Oh wait! It already is! Jesus Edward, stop looking for reasons to fuck this up and go fix it."

It took about a second for all of it to sink in and when I looked back for Bella I could barely see her across the yard and about to duck through the trees onto the path we had taken yesterday to the clearing with the picnic table. What was she thinking going into the woods all alone at night like that?

In one swift movement I was up and running. I leapt over the fire and ran after her. I still couldn't understand how our perspectives of that night could be so different, but I was going to get to the bottom of it and fix this mess once and for all.

--

Edward – Senior Party 1998

I dragged my mouth away from hers, but couldn't stand the idea of disconnecting from her entirely. She was so soft, and smelled so good that I was lost.

I vaguely noticed that I groaned her name into her neck. I was giddy; in fact I wanted to laugh out loud at how completely perfect that kiss was.

But then she shoved me and I didn't understand. She said something, but I missed it because I tripped over something and almost fell, but I caught myself on another tree.

She was watching me closely. "Are you drunk?"

I answered her honestly, because I didn't care at the moment. "Maybe a little, but does it really matter?"

She shook her head to try and clear her thoughts apparently. "Of course it matters. What did that mean Edward? Why now?"

I wanted to pick her up and kiss her over and over again, but I tried to focus on what she was asking me. She wanted to know why now. I was just so relieved that I'd finally made a move and she hadn't freaked out on me. So I decided to be honest and just tell her the truth; that I couldn't stand to see her with someone else when I wanted to be with her so badly. All these thoughts came out in a goofy sounding giggle.

"Um, well honestly? Because Tyler was talking in the locker room today. He was telling a couple of the guys that you two were going to…"

I saw her eyes flash from confused to furious like lightening and I realized my mistake. I thumped on my head with my fist while I tried to figure out how to back peddle and fix the situation. I desperately wanted it to go back to the perfection that it was just seconds before.

I shook my head. "Nevermind. I guess –"

She cut me off. "Wait, no what about Tyler? What was he saying? That I was going to sleep with him? That he was going to take me out to the woods and I was going to willingly fuck him?"

I didn't like the way she'd put herself in that context; it physically hurt to think about her out here doing that. But my inebriated mind wasn't able to articulate fast enough how much that bothered me and I just nodded.

"So you thought you would just cut him off at the pass?"

Well that was one way of putting it. I was so glad that she understood that I didn't want that to happen that I actually laughed. "I guess so…"

I never saw it coming when her little fist connected with my left cheekbone. I stumbled to the side and doubled over.

"Damnit! What the fuck Bella!"

"You are such an ASSHOLE Cullen!"

She stomped out of the woods then and left me stunned and confused and hurting. For a moment I worried about her hand because holy shit that was one hell of a punch; it had to have hurt her too.

Eventually I stumbled back to the party and Emmett drove us home. He tried to ask what the hell happened because my face was already starting to swell. I told him that I didn't want to talk about it and surprisingly, he actually dropped it.

--

I stayed far enough behind her that she wouldn't feel threatened, but I stayed close enough that she was never out of my sight. Eventually the sounds of her sniffling could be heard through the quiet forest and I realized she was crying.

I wanted to run after her and catch her, hug her and tell her it was such a huge mistake and make it all better. But that would be glossing it over again, and we really needed to just fight through it.

Eventually, we reached the clearing and she walked to the other side of the picnic table and stopped.

I stayed on my side of the table, feeling like we needed some physical distance between us while we sorted through this.

"Bella?"

She didn't turn around, but a small sob shook her body and I barely heard it.

"Bella please talk to me. I don't understand why you're so angry, but I don't want to walk away this time. I want to make it right. To make it work."

She swung around to face me.

Bella

"Of course you do. Out here, when no one's around to hear you, you don't want to walk away."

"What?"

"I finally figured it out Edward. It's how you operate. You've always gotten your kicks out of getting a reaction out of me. Well you got one. Are you happy now? Can we quit this little game?"

"Bella I'm not playing any games. I told you that I don't regret kissing you."

"Yep, you told me alright. When no one could hear you. But out there you treat me like I'm some kind of violent lunatic who cold cocked you for giving me a peck on the cheek."

"That is not what I said. Look, you punched me Bella. I didn't trick you into it. Yes, I kissed you, and I didn't deny it, but yeah, punching a guy for it is a bit of an extreme reaction, don't you think?"

"And what about all the other shit?"

"What other shit?"

"This is you Edward, back and forth, up and down." I was waving my arms in dramatic gestures to emphasize my point. "We go to prom and you flip out because someone dared to suggest we might be together, but then when we're alone in the limo you say all these things about how amazing I am, and I drive you crazy. Then you don't talk to me for a month and a half. I mean what the fuck is up with that?"

He frowned. "I don't know, I guess –"

I cut him off. Now that all of the things I'd ever wanted to say had started flowing I couldn't bottle them up anymore. "That night that you chased off Tyler you'd hardly spoken to me in a month and a half. Then all of a sudden you get me out in the woods and try to fuck me when no one's looking. So yeah, I punched you. And I'd punch any other asshole that treated me like a whore too."

His mouth fell open in shock and his eyes bulged. He started shouting. "Jesus Christ! There's irrational and then there's just plain make-believe. That never happened!"

"Oh My God Edward! Look I wasn't drunk that night. I remember very well what happened out there in those woods! I get that you were drunk, and maybe that clouded your judgment, which is why I told you there were no hard feelings, but I will not let you put it all on me. I am sick and tired of being treated like something you're ashamed of. Either you want to be with me or you don't."

His mouth started moving, but I held up a hand to stop him. "Clearly you don't because if you did you wouldn't be whispering one thing in my ear and sending me cryptic little messages all while making me look stupid in front of our friends. So unless you want to actually be real, then leave me the fuck alone. No more games. Don't talk to me. Don't touch me. Just leave me alone."

I held his gaze and watched as several emotions washed over him. His mouth opened and closed several times. He crossed his arms and dropped his gaze to the ground while he processed everything I'd said.

I shifted uncomfortably as the seconds dragged on and he tried to figure out what to do. When I finally couldn't take it anymore I just shook my head and sighed. "It's fine Edward. You don't owe me any explanations, just let it be. I said what I needed to say and if you'll just leave me alone from now on I'd appreciate it."

His expression hardened and his jaw locked. All of his body language shifted to one of focus and determination. As fast as he could move he was around the picnic bench and grabbed my hand. "No, I won't. Not yet anyway."

He started pulling me back up the trail. I pulled back hard. "What are you doing?"

"Bella you just made a whole slew of accusations about me. One of those accusations was that I say and do one thing in private and another thing in public. So, before I address anything else, I'd like to go back to the fire where all of our friends and family can hear what I have to say to you. You can either walk or I will carry you."

We stared at each other for several seconds and when I didn't move he took a step towards me and bent to grab my waist. "Fine have it your way."

I smacked his shoulder and shoved him hard. "Edward stop. I'm not going back there so you can make an ass out of me again. If you've got something to say, then just say it, but so help me God do not fuck with me anymore."

"Okay, fine. Look Bella, I'll be the first to admit, that I was a pussy. I was so damn scared of looking like an asshole. I was afraid to take a risk. I did what I should, when I should, and how I should. That means everything from the grades I got, what I wore, and who I dated. Christ, you were my sister's best friend. Don't you think there's a little something taboo about that? And then I heard that you were telling people that kissing me would be like kissing your own brother."

"I never said that."

"Yeah, I know that now. Jessica told me today that she lied way back then."

"But from my perspective, I always wanted you; I just didn't think you wanted me. When we went to prom I was so nervous I almost had a panic attack getting ready. So I started drinking to calm down. I don't even remember what Karen said about us, or whatever it is I said in the limo, but by the sounds of it, it's probably one of the few times I was actually honest."

I rolled my eyes. How convenient, he forgets.

"Don't roll your eyes at me. I'm being serious. Keep it up and I will drag your ass back to that fire."

"Fine, go on." I had been fighting off the pain with my anger, but his words were breaking through my fury. I folded my arms over my chest defensively, but it didn't stop the ache.

"Bella, I kissed you that night in the woods because I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted you. I hated the idea of you and Crowley so much it was physically painful."

I smirked. "Yeah, I know the feeling. I got to hear all about you and Jessica on a regular basis."

He nodded. "I know, I'm sorry. If I'd known I ever had a shot…"

"Yeah, got that. You would have tried to fuck me even sooner."

"I WAS NOT TRYING TO FUCK YOU!"

"Yell it a little louder Edward. I'm not sure your parents heard you back in Seattle."

"Well stop making me sound like a predator!"

We stared each other down for several seconds while we tried to get our tempers under control.

"Bella, I would give anything to get the last ten years back. I was a pussy and I made a lot of mistakes. I didn't think you were interested in me, but let me make this crystal clear. I have always wanted you. Always."

I felt a lump forming in my throat and my eyes started to water. He took a step towards me.

"I'll say it now. I'll say it in front of all of those people back there. I told you that there will be no more mixed signals and I meant it. I can't take back all the mistakes I made, but I wish I could; I'd like a do-over on a lot of things. I promise that I will not make you regret it if you can trust me one more time."

I felt a tear run down my cheek. I had to swallow hard to get any sound out at all and it still came out as a whisper. "Well, we can't do much about the last ten years, but here we are again, alone in the woods. It's as close as we can get to a do-over."

The change in his entire body was tangible. His entire face softened as a smile spread across his face. His shoulders relaxed and his eyes were glowing. In three quick strides he cleared the distance between us and cupped my face in his hands.

"You won't hit me this time?"

I grinned back and giggled. "I promise no unnecessary violence."

"And I promise that I'm not trying to fuck you." And then he got this sexy glint in his eye and winked at me. "Not tonight anyway."

I gasped and my breath caught as he lowered his face to mine. There was no pressure, just slow and soft and easy. And not nearly enough.

I reached up and curled my hand around his neck and pulled him down to me telling him what I wanted. And when he understood he groaned and pulled me tighter against him.

His hands wrapped around my waist and he lifted me gently into the air as he backed up to the picnic table and then sat on the top of it, lifting me to straddle his lap.

The moment our lips met I felt something shift and click into place. It was like we were two magnets trying to fit together, but for some reason for the last ten years the polarity had been wrong and we were constantly being pushed apart. But when we finally sorted through all the bullshit and misunderstandings, everything reversed. When we kissed, I felt a powerful tug from deep inside me and finally, with a click, we fit together. Perfectly.

There in the woods we did the best we could to recover all the time we'd lost. Pushing, pulling, touching and breathing against each other, time passed in leaps and lunges as the sky darkened overhead.

There was a heat and a passion thundering between us. Our heartbeats were beating our own rhythm and neither of us noticed as it was being echoed through the forest around us until the first drops of rain started to fall.

And then suddenly the rain was pounding down all around us and we were being pelted with large cold drops.

With a sigh he pulled back and rested his forehead against mine. "Will we never catch a break?"

I laughed back, not really caring about the rain. "I sure hope so."

With a laugh he picked me up and lifted me off him. He took my hand in his and kissed my knuckles before he pulled me along.

"Come on, we're getting soaked."

Together, finally, we ran back to the cottage.

---

A/N:

The good news… well, the good news is that you made it to the end of this hellong chapter.

The bad news… S32 and TG are taking a break to prepare for, and celebrate Christmas with our families. We have cookies to bake, presents to wrap, mittens to knit, friends and families to spend the holiday with.

Because we planned this break, Chapter 12 is not complete yet, so teasers will not be available for reviews. Sorry. We will post teasers in our various threads when one is available.

Speaking of threads,Thank you to diamondsteffi for starting a Proxy thread at Twilighted. A link to the thread is in our profile. *Hugs* Steffi!

As always, thank you for reading, reviewing, rec'ing, and for hitting the fave and alert buttons. We appreciate you all so much.

Happy Holidays,

S32 & TG

P.S. We had some major FF.n fail... formatting, edits reverted to first draft, random words in random places (???) Hopefully everything is fixed now.