AN: I want to thank everyone for being so understandingly patient as I wrote this chapter which marks the big start of my plot and journey for this fic and I just really needed it to be perfect so thank you. I am putting a WARNING in place for some dub-con material (dubious consent) so please proceed with caution. There is a lot of angst ahead and I imagine a lot of you will be mad and some may have trouble understanding that. I won't apologize for it and if at any time you do feel uncomfortable and chose to stop reading please for the love of god don't send me a message that you're doing so. It's not polite. Just a reminder that I do enjoy receiving constructive criticism and enjoy a lot of things people have to say; negative or positive. A big shout out to the fabulous NICKI (oncertwice) for making this chapter possible because I'm pretty sure without her I'd be dead in a ditch somewhere, please thank her. Another big shout out to Lexi (killians-tinkabelle), Haleigh (onceuponajollyroger), and Kate (onceuponataarna) for all their lovely suggestions that gave me peace of mind.

Also very important to know that this chapter takes place a month after the previous chapter and Emma is now on birth control pills. Let the fun begin! -Cat

Forbidden Fruit of the Juiciest Kind

A Priest!Killian Captain Swan AU

PART NINE

Killian brought the worn-out symbol of his previous love and happiness to the large, yellow legal pad sitting on his desk. His ball point pen was sitting haphazardly off to the side as he wound the metal between his fingers, repeatedly twisting it and letting it go.

Leaning his chest against the desk, his elbows on the edge of the table in front of him, he grasped the hair on his head tightly, his breathing shallow and weak as he tried to fight off the sobs threatening to break free.

Fear.

Longing.

Anger.

Hurt.

Regret.

The emotions plagued his mind, torturing him until he felt as though he could no longer breathe. The feelings sank down to the pit of his stomach and had him wishing the bile would rise up in his throat so he could expel it once and for all.

It hurt. It always hurt – he let it hurt.

He choked on a cry, leaning back against his chair, his hand sliding down his face as he willed his mind to rid itself of the torturous thoughts.

He glanced down at the small, silver circlet on its last rotations until it slowed to a stop, jerking and falling flat on top of the pad of paper.

Bowing his body forward, he collected the ring in his hand, testing the metal with his fingers when a knock broke him from his thoughts.

Killian's head lifted, his eyes meeting the door telling the person behind it, "Hold on, just a second," while he thrust open the top drawer of his desk, dropping the ring inside and pushing it shut for safe keeping.

He quickly fixed his rumpled clothing, his thumbs swiping at his eyes to clear any lingering moisture before ruffling his wild, dark hair back into place from where he had run his fingers through it. "Come in," he allowed, slightly annoyed at the interruption.

Killian looked up from his desk just as the door closed to see Emma's lithe form pressed against the door, her hand slipping behind her to twist the lock securely into place. Her teeth dug into her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. Her wild messy curls were strewn about her shoulders and her thighs were slick with desire.

She needed him. She needed him bad.

He brought his hands to the edge of his desk, pushing his chair out from its designated spot and lifted himself up and out of the chair, adjusting his dark-colored, tailored sport coat as he moved towards her, stalking her like a predator stalking its prey.

He paused in front of her, using his hand to hold himself over her, his forearm resting firmly on the door behind her. He could sense her need for him, it was practically rolling off of her in waves, calling out to him.

Emma's breath hitched in her throat, her eyes closing momentarily as his eyes raked over her, his breathing shallow with his own yearning. She cast her eyes against his, capturing his gaze from her heaving bosom.

Killian held her stare with pursed lips, his mind contemplating just what he might have in store for his little blonde school girl. He licked his lips with a sinful seduction that had her clenching her legs in anticipation, his cock straining in his pants as he brought his soft lips to the exposed flesh of her collarbone, which earned him a sharp intake of breath and he smirked devilishly against her heated skin.

He continued to press long, languid kisses across her collarbone before his tongue dipped between the valley of her breasts, his efforts earning him a choked whimper from his squirming lover. "Where do you need me?" He asked, his warm breath sending shivers down her spine. "Show me," he whispered huskily.

Emma captured his hand in hers, drawing it to the material of her skirt and bunching it up until both their hands slipped underneath. She guided his hand to where she needed him the most, and cried out when their hands met her moist center. Her head fell back against the door, her eyes glazing over with raw lust.

Her breathing was shaky and low as the combination of their fingers swept through her dripping folds, soaking both their probing fingers with the proof of her arousal. His eyes were dark and intense, boring into hers as they both sought out her pleasure.

Emma dipped a trembling hand into his collar, holding it tightly in her grasp to tug him more firmly against her, her lips ghosting over his and driving him damn near insane with need. She sucked his lower lip into her mouth, nipping with an indescribable passion while their joined fingers traveled to her clit and gave it a few teasing strokes that had her knees buckling.

She gave a hoarse whimper, her mouth releasing his lower lip with a groan as her hips bucked intently against his touch, her body practically singing to him, calling out to him like Jesus to his disciples, ready to be molded, instructed, and educated.

"So fucking wet for me," he purred, his warm breath caressing her lips like a hymn as he withdrew her hand from underneath her skirt with a strangled pout, throwing it up against the door and holding it in place while as fingers danced at her entrance, slipping in and out in fast, controlled movements that had her biting back a scream.

He tossed her a devilish smirk, licking his lips sensually as he buried his fingers in her molten heat. Her fingers closed into a fist against the door, as her other hand curled more resolutely into his clerical collar for purchase when his fingers brushed that spot inside of her.

"Fuck," she cursed, submitting to his ministrations. "Fuck me – ah! Fuck me!" She moaned, dizzy with lust as his fingers traced her inner walls. "Need… need you inside me… Fuck! Killian, please," she begged, dragging her nails against his neck which was beaded with light perspiration, her teeth baring down on her bottom lip to keep her torturous sounds of pleasure at bay.

Killian brought his head forward, holding it in the cradle between her neck and shoulder as he placed a long, wet kiss against the sensitive skin of her neck making her gasp as his fingers stilled their actions inside of her for the time being. He sucked the flesh into his mouth, biting her and marking her as his, his hold on her wrist tightening slightly with her low murmurings of incoherent praise.

He smirked wolfishly as she rolled her hips desperately against his fingers and he left a lingering bite mark on her neck before pulling his fingers out of her tight, wet sheath and wiping them on her skirt. "So impatient," he chastised her, his face colored with apt amusement.

"…Hungering for my cock," he chuckled deeply before dropping the cadence of his voice into a more demanding tone. "Do I feel good inside of you, Emma?" He tilted his head in question as he went on, "Filling you up, driving into you with every thrust," he said and was granted a choked moan in response.

"So insatiable, love," he whispered, sweeping a lock of hair from her face and fusing their lips together in a heated kiss that rocked her entire body straight to the core.

Killian's hand traveled down the length of her side, stopping when he reached the back of her knee and lifted her leg, wrapping it around his waist before pressing his weight more firmly against her and repeating the action with the other until she was securely placed in his grasp as she was lifted from the door and maneuvered through the office in small, careful strides until he flipped them around, his back falling into his desk chair with a slight bounce as she straddled his lap.

He parted her lips with his thumb, drawing one puckered lip down then releasing it, his other hand slipping underneath her skirt, deftly massaging her inner thigh. He captured her lips in another breathless kiss, his tongue sweeping into her mouth hungrily as she rocked her hips against his in search of friction, her swollen center meeting his clothed erection with every downward thrust.

He deepened the kiss, his hand tangling in the mess of blonde curls at the back of her head as she continued her frantic movements against him which had her gasping and panting for more. Emma's hands slipped behind the gape in his trousers, pulling him further towards her, her downturned palm playing over the dark hairs that led below before abandoning her intended destination and plucking at the buttons that hid his handsome upper half from view.

Killian pulled her roughly into his neck, his hand fisting in her blonde locks, his shirt halfway unbuttoned and her fingers tips raking against the exposed muscular skin which caused him to groan. Emma shifted slightly, pushing his jacket over his shoulders and he gladly shrugged out of it as she returned to his shirt, finishing it off before removing the clerical collar, dropping it to the floor carelessly. His shirt was resting just above his bent elbows, giving her a great view of his chest.

He brought both his hands to her hips, lifting her slightly so that she was resting on her knees which gave him enough room to free himself from his pants. Once finished, he situated himself, his bare hips nearly hanging off of the seat, his briefs and pants pushed down to his ankles as Emma's fingers fanned out over his chest.

She pressed her bare center against him, her breath hitching in her throat when she made contact with the heated skin of his cock. Sensing her own urgency, she seized his length, giving it a few teasing pumps with her fist. His fingers twisted in her hair as he watched her intently, his mouth parted slightly in wonderment as his hand groped her thigh promisingly.

Emma brought herself back up onto her knees, adjusting herself over him.

"Ride me, Emma," he whispered his husky encouragement, his finger nails digging into the bare flesh of her thigh as she heeded his breathy request. She brought him to her tight, wet heat and sank down onto his rigid length without preamble, letting a strangled sigh fall from her lips when the two finally joined.

Killian held her skirt at her hips as she ground against him, his cock gliding effortlessly against the walls of her tight cunt, her hands positioned at his upper legs, above his knee for purchase as she rode him slowly, engulfing him in her warmth.

"That's it," he nodded in praise, her back arching as she drove herself over him, his cock filling her with every delicious thrust. Her wild messy curls bounced as she rode him hard and slow, savoring each time he hit that spot inside of her. "So fucking gorgeous," he groaned in appreciation, a hand reaching out to palm her partially-clothed breast while the other remained on her hip, guiding her movements against him.

She felt so tight and warm around him, gliding effortlessly against him with every fluid roll of her hips. Her movements never faltered as her nails dug deeply into the skin of his leg the closer she got to her finish. Emma released an undignified whimper as she tossed her head back in indescribable pleasure, leaning backwards slightly to change the angle and take him deeper inside of her.

Killian's hand curled into the hair at the side of her head, pulling her gaze to his. He wanted to watch her ride him until she fell apart around him. He tilted his chin towards her, a slow lazy smile creeping up on his lips while he panted, his eyes taking in her sensual beauty in the midst of their colliding, heaving bodies. He was enraptured and enthralled by the vision before him.

Not breaking eye contact, his hand left her breast, traveling underneath her skirt and to where the where they were joined, his thumb sweeping over the swollen bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs as his name fell from her lips like a prayer.

Killian continued his assault on her clit, his other hand falling at her neck to brace her against his body, shoving her down against his muscular shoulder to muffle her blissful cries of ecstasy. Her hands wrapped around his neck to push and pull her body against his rapidly as he whispered words of encouragement.

"Come on, baby. Come on, come for me," he whispered into her sweaty hair as she bounced on top of his lap frantically while he rubbed her clit into total submission.

He could feel her breathing quicken against his neck as her walls clamped his rock hard cock like a vice until she came violently against him with a muffled scream, the stroke of his thumb against her helping her to ride out her orgasm until she faded back to reality.

"Do you have enough in you to get me off?" He asked her as he brushed a hand through her hair, he felt awful for asking this of her.

Emma rose her head from his shoulder, biting into her lower lip and nodded her head vigorously before wrapping an arm around his neck and leaning until her body bowed off the chair, her hips rutting furiously against his.

Killian's eyes snapped shut, his mouth open in a total state of bliss as she rolled her hips against his.

He righted his hand against her back, snapping her back into him, his mouth falling against the hollow of her neck and kissing down the column of her throat until he reached her breasts.

He could feel himself tighten with his impending release. "One more time," he mouthed at her supple skin, "come for me one more time." He practically pleaded with her wanting to feel her constrict around him before he let himself go deep inside of her.

"Ah! Ahhhh," she moaned, her lips puckered into a soft 'o' as she lost herself once again, her hips jerking against his.

Killian buried his lips to the soft swell of her bosom, placing sloppy kisses to the exposed skin tinged with a fine sheen of sweat, his mouth parted in cries of pure ecstasy as he lost himself inside of her, his pleasure rippling through him in waves, coating her quivering walls with his release.

He continued to caress her hair, his breath coming out in short pants against her heaving breasts, his cock softening inside her warm, sodden depths. "God, I love being able to come inside you," he murmured against her heated flesh, his lips meeting her sweaty skin with a few lingering kisses.

Once her breathing steadied enough she braced a hand on each toned shoulder, lifting herself up slightly to separate them. Killian gritted his teeth as they separated, his sticky essence seeping from her sated cunt and dripping down her legs, causing a proud smirk to form on his lips at the sight.

"I really did a number on you, didn't I?" He chuckled cockily, his fingertips brushing against her jaw and tucking under her chin to get her to look at him fully. Her eyes were half-closed in exhaustion and her skin was flushed pink with the proof of her orgasm. She was a vision.

"You are so beautiful." He beamed, his face shining with admiration before tucking his hands behind her back and meeting her lips with his in a kiss she gladly returned.

Killian groaned against her lips, his tongue fusing with hers until they were forced to pull apart.

"I should probably go," she informed him with a hint of hesitation, still firmly placed in his lap, "but I'll see you later, right?" She tacked on hopefully, eagerly waiting his response.

Killian took a pregnant pause, licking his lips before recovering, "Looking forward to it, lass," he gave a singular nod in confirmation, with hopes of hiding his uneasiness.

"Good," she gave him a playful smile before descending from his lap, her legs clenching to hold the moisture in her body until she was able to clean herself up.

Killian, ever the gentleman, plucked a few tissues from the box on his desk, handing them off to Emma so that she could tend to herself, watching her out of the corner of his eye as he quickly pulled up his pants and righted his shirt, buttoning it deftly.

Emma tossed the used tissue into the garbage by his desk before proceeding with the rest of her after-romp ritual: tucking in her shirt and taming her wild sex hair. Emma turned towards him, his hands placed at the buttons mid-way down his shirt as she bent forward to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

"See you after school," she promised and took her lead past his desk and finally out the door.

Killian glanced at the door, lifting himself up from the chair to tuck his shirt into his pants and fasten them closed before picking up the fallen clerical collar from the floor, the innocent article of clothing seemingly mocking his disgraced position as a priest.

Killian threw it onto his desk carelessly.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Pulling his bottom drawer out, he dug through it, lifting the few files obstructing his hiding place to retrieve the flask that was buried deeply within its depths. Letting out a sigh, he closed the drawer and popped the cap off and took a long sip, allowing the alcohol to flow through him freely, his cares dissipating with every drop that passed his lips.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian stared idly out of his windshield, his leg shaking nervously against the brake while he waited for the light to turn green. His sunglasses slipped past the bridge of his nose as he nursed his cigarette, his head in his hand, elbow resting against the padding beneath the open driver's side window to alleviate some of the pain in his head that his morning dalliance with his flask of rum had left him with.

He shifted his gaze over to the blonde in the seat next to him, momentarily looking her over from her feet and above, his eyes feasting over her creamy legs to the generous amount of cleavage exposed from her stark white shirt all the way to her bouncing curls placed delicately on her shoulders.

He rolled his head back in front of him, his thumbnail lightly scratching his head with mild impatience as he licked the lingering nicotine from his lips. Killian watched with half-lidded eyes as Emma fiddled with the radio dial, the overwhelming static and half-audible music blaring through the car speakers setting his teeth on edge.

"Christ!" he barked in annoyance, "pick a bloody station and stick with it, lass!"

Emma's eyes shot out towards his. She was slightly taken back by his tone and his eyes bored intensely into hers through his shades and it made her want to relinquish control on the matter altogether. Emma pushed the button, shutting of the radio and plunging them into an uncomfortable silence.

She wriggled anxiously in her seat. "Someone is tensethis afternoon," she noted, quaffing her hair before her hand traveled across the center console and into his lap, palming his limp cock. "Maybe I can help you relax?" She said suggestively.

Killian said nothing, his jaw clenching and his lips forming a tight line as he removed her probing hand from his lap just in time for the light to turn green and continue on with the short drive back to his place that was doubled considering it was rush hour.

Emma huffed, crossing her arms like a pouting child, sitting back further into her seat and refusing to look at him, settling for the suburban scenery whizzing past them.

He continued the trip back to his place in complete silence while taking casual nips at his cigarette until there was nothing left, the addictive drug doing little to calm his nerves.

They entered his house, Emma trailing behind him as he made a beeline for the kitchen, throwing his keys, wallet and phone down on the counter and reaching his hand out to where the half bottle of empty rum sat waiting for him. Pulling the cap off with haste, he brought it to his lips for a quick sip, testing its raw, pleasing taste before rummaging in the cabinet for a short glass and pouring himself a healthy serving.

Emma stood back, her eyes narrowing in speculation as she leaned against the entryway, she had never seen him like this before and it worried her.

Killian downed the container in one easy gulp, slamming the glass onto the counter top with a thunk and wiped his mouth on his sleeve.

"Killian?" Emma started, her voice small and meek as it caught his attention.

Killian turned his body towards her, his hands resting on the counter as he tilted his chin in a subtle way that said, what the hell do you want?

Emma took a careful step back, not wishing to anger him and waited patiently for him to speak.

She watched him down his glass and he began to poor another, this time shifting his body to lean against the counter, an arm crossed over his stomach, eyeing her intently as he swirled the drink in his hand, the amber liquid sloshing in the tumbler.

Emma swallowed, perplexed, her mind concocting a million different scenarios to answer her misplaced questions, none of them coming close to giving her solid peace of mind.

He raised a precarious eyebrow at her, his face completely devoid of emotion, the only words leaving his mouth being: "Undress and get on the bed, I'll be with you shortly." The command was accompanied by a stern look to show just how serious he was, as he swirled the liquid in his glass, growing more unstable with every passing moment she didn't make a move to leave.

Emma stood there, her mouth slightly agape, her palms sweaty, and eyes filled with uncertainty, his dark stare burning her where she stood, motionless. Not wishing to make him angry she nodded and dismissed herself, shedding her clothing on the way to the bedroom and leaving Killian alone with his drink.

His eyes narrowed considerably, fixated on the glass in his hand and the promise it had to take all of his pain and worries away. Killian tipped the drink to his lips, allowing the liquid to burn his throat and numb his senses. He heaved, setting the glass down on the counter and leaning his head down against the cool countertop for a bit of reprieve.

Killian's fist hit the island with an audible thump and he gritted his teeth before lifting himself from the countertop and shoving his coat off, followed by tearing at the buttons of his shirt in a blind fury. He tore off his collar, tossing it to the floor and shedded his shirt. Killian reached for the glass, clutching it in his hand and brought to his lips, finishing it off with a long swallow and quickly set it back down before making his way to the bedroom.

He arrived to find Emma writhing in his bed, her hand between her legs as she made herself wet for him. He watched her with intense, hooded eyes until he decided to alert her to his presence. She jerked her fingers away, staring up at him with half-open bedroom eyes and watched as he toed his shoes off, her damp fingers twisting at the locks of her hair that spread around her head like a golden halo.

He towered above her, standing at the edge of the bed, his face expressionless, his eyes burning her with a look that made her heart race as he confidently undid his belt and unfastened his trousers, leaving them open casually.

Emma's eyes raked over his body, his muscles straining in his abdomen, covered in his dark unruly chest hair just begging for her touch, his aching cock nearly busting out of the visible part of his briefs, the sight making her mouth go dry.

Killian slipped his hands underneath the waistband of his briefs before nodding in Emma's direction. "Turn around and get on your hands and knees," he instructed calmly, his eyes smoldering.

She rose from the bed, getting up on her hands and knees and swirled around just as he pushed his pants and briefs down his hips and kicked off the offending material, finishing off with removing his socks, leaving him completely bare.

Killian kneeled on the bed behind her, his angry, hard cock bouncing off the rigid muscles of his stomach and he traced his fingers over her spine, causing her entire body to shiver and flex under his touch.

She could feel his arousal against her ass, and it made her legs clench with anticipation. The muscles in his back stretched and glistened with a fine sheen of sweat as he continued his exploration, stopping at her ass to give her a rough squeeze, which earned him a sharp gasp.

Emma could feel him pressing harder, rutting his hips urgently against her, her entire body bowing forward, unable to take his insistent teasing.

He brought his hands around her, his hands clasping over hers and he jerked her backward against him. "stay still," he rasped in warning and she began to tremble, whining uncontrollably. Killian gave her a threatening swat to her backside and shushed her, causing her body to stiffen as she bit down on her lip to keep from crying out.

Killian reached around her, capturing both her breasts and began rolling her stiff peaks roughly between his calloused fingers until she was panting, her teeth dug so far into her lip that she barely registered the copper taste of her own blood, however she clenched her eyes shut as she tried to push her feelings aside.

She released a sigh of relief when his hand left her without cause and screamed when she felt his fingers between her legs, pinching her clit without mercy. He had never been this rough with her before and she wanted to scream and beg him to stop but the words died quickly in her mouth.

She squirmed restlessly, her entire body flinching with every touch, tears brimming in her eyes and clouding her vision.

She was glad when he removed his hand from between her legs and let it rest at her waist, the other jerking himself. Still, he said nothing, gave no warning and no proper indication to just what was in store for her.

Emma swallowed, her eyes tightly clenched to keep the tears from falling and he lined himself up with her entrance, the head of cock brushing against her wet opening until he thrust forward in one go, sheathing himself fully inside of her.

Her head fell down limply, as her entire body fought against the intrusion and her fingers clawed at the sheets. Normally under the right amount of foreplay she could handle him but he filled her up to the brim and nothing had prepared her for it.

She heard him gasp loudly behind her as his head tilted back in mind-numbing pleasure and he immediately began to move inside of her, crushing her against his length, diving in out of her at a rapid pace and she knew there would be bruises on her thighs later.

Killian snarled, snapping his hips against hers wildly and she groaned in pain. Unable to hold back her tears anymore, she let them freely fall down her face, while her hands fisted in the sheets, her mouth in the comforter to muffle her howls of displeasure.

She could hear him pant breathlessly, pistoning his hips inside of her, her entire core throbbing in pain and she closed her eyes and prayed for him to come so it could be over and done with.

He continued to pull her body back against his, pumping himself in and out of her until he felt his balls clench with his impending release and he jerked himself into her until he came with a shout, his pace slowing as he emptied himself inside of her.

Emma rocked her hips forward with determination, freeing him from her and turned to face him in disbelief, winding herself into a ball against the headboard, her body soaked with sweat and the drying tears on her face.

"Did you come?" he asked her breathily, panting as his eyes fell upon her form, her face hidden from view. "Emma?" he asked when she didn't respond. Killian crawled across the bed and fell in front of her, his brow furrowed in confusion. "Emma?" he repeats, bending his head forward to get a better look at her before finally settling on lifting her face to meet his gaze.

His mouth opened and closed in horror at what he saw before him; her lower lip trembling, her eyes red, tear streaks on her beautiful face. Killian raised a hand toward her and she flinched instinctually, cowering against the headboard. His hand held against his mouth and he bowed his head in shame.

What on earth had he just done?

KEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian didn't speak to her for the rest of the night, because he knew that if he spoke with her he'd have to face the reality of what he had done and he simply didn't have it in him to do it. He was a bloody coward.

He sat in the dark living room dressed in his black boxer briefs and a blue high v-neck shirt tuning the strings of his guitar in search of that perfect sound.

He enjoyed the quiet, didn't mind wallowing in his own self-pity with the sounds of the guitar soothing him, it helped him think.

Emma found herself digging through the drawers of his dresser in search of something comfortable to wear after taking a long bath. She soaked herself in the warm water in hopes that it would ease some of her discomfort. Her mind went back to the moment Killian realized he had done something wrong and the shock etched into his face, it was as if he hadn't expected that reaction from her.

Killian groaned with frustration as he plucked at the strings, tightening them as needed and he scowled angrily. How was he supposed to know she was in pain? She said nothing to him!

Emma shoved the drawer closed settling on an oversized white crew neck tee with a pocket on the left breast, the material hugging her like a soft blanket and she moved to put on her extra pair of panties she kept in her bag for their sleepovers.

"It's my fault. I let myself get drunk and lose control with her," he thought, strumming absent mindedly.

Emma tossed and turned in bed, trying to get comfortable but the nagging in the back of her mind made it impossible to do so. She pushed her hair back, her eyes travelling to the cold, empty space next to her in bed and she felt a pulling sensation to the man in the next room, the sound of his guitar flowing into the bedroom.

Killian's fingers slid across the frets, the strings groaning with the motion as he began his first chord and quickly flowed into the next one, the sound echoing in his ears. His shoulders visibly relaxed the more he played. Killian licked his lips as the lyrics left them and he sang along with the music, so involved that he didn't even hear the door open.

Emma crept into the room, her heart constricting in her chest at the sight of the man sitting by himself in the dark, moping, and she knew what she had to do. She trudged forward, letting the sound motivate her, stopped behind him, placing her head in the cradle of his neck and shoulder as he missed the next note and stopped altogether.

"Don't stop," she whispered into the crook of his neck, her nose nuzzling his soft, warm skin, her eyes closed as his scent filled her, "it was lovely," she smiled, her lips ghosting over his jugular.

"How can you be so calm and happy after what I did to you?" He asked, his voice choked and strained with emotion. "I… oh god," he sighed, shoving his head into the neck of his guitar.

"Shhh," she crooned softly, wrapping her arms around him, her head placed against his as she ran her fingers through his dark locks. Emma comforted him a little, she could see he was truly remorseful for his actions.

Once he had calmed down a bit she moved around the chair where he sat, taking the guitar from his hands and set it facing inward against the table before sitting on her knees between his legs, her hand reaching out to cup his face.

"Talk to me, Killian. Please," she pleaded with him, "I can't read your mind, I need to know what you're thinking." She offered him a small, concerned smile.

When Killian lifted his face, his eyes were red and bloodshot. Torturous.

"I'm so sorry for losing control with you like that, Emma. There is absolutely no excuse for my actions but I promise—" he paused for a beat of two before continuing, "it will never happen again. I care about you, Emma, and I would die if anything ever happened to you. The fact that it was me who hurt you only makes it worse," he admitted tearfully.

"What you did wasn't unforgiveable Killian," she told him, "but, I deserve answers."

"I was reckless. I'm so sorry," he grimaced in shame, "I should have taken better care of you, I had a lot to drink and it's no excuse—" he began to ramble.

"Why? God, Killian, why?" she demanded.

"6 years ago today, my wife died," he confessed breathily.

"Killian…" she stammered, "I'm so sorry…" she apologized, not knowing what more she could say to him – if there was anything at all.

Emma dabbed at her tears, rising to her feet in front of him before placing a soothing hand to his shoulder. "You look exhausted and it's been a long day. Why don't you get some sleep?"

"Yeah. You're right. I'll be there in a moment," he told her, reaching his hand up to caress hers.

"Don't be long." she kissed his head and padded back off to the bedroom.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

~The sound of wet, screeching tires followed by a loud crash~

Killian is jolted from his slumber by his own screaming, "Annie!" He pants, his body covered in a cold sweat as a warm, comforting hand is placed on his heaving shoulder.

"Shhh," Emma cooed, her other hand smoothing his sweaty locks in a soothing manner, "you were having a nightmare," she confirmed. "Do you need anything? Water?" she suggested helplessly.

Killian said nothing as his own hand met his beating heart, clutching it as if he could stop the pounding and nodded his head respectfully in reply.

"Sit tight. I'll be right back," she told him, placing a gentle kiss to his forehead and rolled out of bed before padding out of the bedroom and into the hallway, flipping on the hallway light as she made her way through the living room and into the kitchen.

She retrieved a single glass from the cupboard and brought it directly under the tap before turning the handle, filling the glass with water. She turned the faucet off, the familiar dripping noise making her uneasy as she bit down on her bottom lip and cracked her neck slightly to ease some of the tension in her achy muscles.

She gripped the edge of the counter, the heat far too overwhelming in the house that caused her to break out into an uncomfortable sweat. She raised the glass to her lips, gulping the contents that glided down her throat, providing her a bit of relief.

She could hear the clap of thunder, rattling the house slightly as lightning danced across the sky, lighting the space for a moment before disappearing completely. Emma glanced nervously in the direction of the sliding glass door that looked out over the small backyard, a fence guarding the sparse amount of weeds that made their home there. Killian didn't have time to take care of his home, let alone a yard, and his lack of care really showed.

She dumped the remainder of the glass in the sink, the water splashing slightly against it, the blonde curls tied into a loose ponytail at the back of her head bouncing a little with the action. Emma swallowed restlessly, her eyes narrowing considerably as she brought the cup back under the faucet and turned the knob, the water rushing forth, filling the glass in her hand.

Once satisfied with the volume, she shut the water off, as the glass shook slightly in her sweaty, outstretched hand, nearly slipping as she struggled to hang onto it. Emma watched the glass slide from her hand, sending it crashing to the ground below her feet that had her pushing herself back on her toes to avoid the shattered pieces that littered the wet floor beneath her.

She closed her eyes, letting out a heavy sigh, her mouth curling with mild frustration at the situation she had found herself in. Emma listened for Killian's concerned voice but it never came. He either hadn't heard it or managed to fall back to sleep, leaving her to deal with the mess.

Of course.

"Just great," she grumbled under her breath, gritting her teeth.

Emma managed to dodge the broken shards of glass long enough to retrieve the broom that sat against the wall at the entrance of the kitchen and carefully set out to sweep up the mess. She swept the pieces into the dust pan and emptied it into the garbage can located under the sink, the pieces clambering against one another as they hit the bottom.

Even with the glass cleaned up there was still the matter of cleaning up the water on the floor. She reached up from the paper towel holder that sat against the side of the cabinet by the sink and pulled, the last square remaining ripping from its bare cardboard center.

Emma grunted, wadding up the broken, unusable paper towel in her hand and threw it into the sink that still let off dripping water from its leaky faucet. She heard another wave of thunder roll followed by another flicker of lightning that illuminated the area around her for a brief moment before dying out once more, leaving her in darkness with the exception of the small hallway light she had left on to guide her way to the kitchen.

She tucked a stray hair that had fallen from her ponytail behind her ear before setting out to find the place where Killian kept his kitchen towels. She searched through the drawer to the left of her, slamming it shut when the only thing she found was utensils before moving to the drawer on her right. Emma thrust open the drawer with a contented sigh of relief when she found a single towel that would do nicely. She gathered the neatly folded fiber cloth in her hand and moved to close the drawer when her eye caught onto something precuilar that had been hidden underneath.

Easily distracted her from her task, Emma placed the folded towel onto the counter beside her, her hand reaching blindly into the drawer and lifted a pile of photos out and into her hands.

She padded through the kitchen towards the light switch, flipping it on then settling herself against the counter to review her findings.

Bringing the small stack of photos towards her, she recognized Killian's face instantly, a little bit younger, but it was still him. Emma smiled to herself, lightly tracing over the worn edges of the photograph. Her entire face lit up as she looked down at the poorly lit photo of her lover in what looked to be like a pub as he took center stage with his guitar, his entire face glowing with enjoyment for his craft. He couldn't have been more than twenty-five in the picture but his eyes still held that intense glare that she knew well at this point – the expression now reserved for his sermons instead of a rowdy club. An audience was still an audience and although it had changed slightly, he still managed to captivate a crowd.

A true performer.

Emma cautiously pushed the photo to the bottom of the stack to reveal the next one in the set. There was nothing particularly special about this one. Just the forced, awkward smile he put into place for the typical graduation photo, his cheeks flushed with youth and fear for the future while he was flanked by two smiling adults. His parents, no doubt. Two people he never talked about and Emma never pressed him about it. Looking upon the photo she wondered if things would have been different between them had they had a typical romance unburdened by a large age difference and untainted with the lies they told themselves to get through the day.

The next photo was far more recent. Another graduation photo, so to speak—this time it marked him taking his final vows of priesthood. He wore his everyday work attire as he stood next to Father Carmine proudly flashing a toothy grin at the camera. He seemed… happy. Much like the day he walked into her life.

That one was followed by him in a charcoal grey suit, his hands folded at his waist as he looked ahead of him, a thousand-watt smile on his face. She had never seen him look so handsome or so genuinely happy before and she felt herself long to have been the cause of it.

The answer to his angelic expression was revealed in the one after that; a twenty-three year old Killian stood next to a beautiful, pale-skinned woman with long flowing red hair, her familiar green eyes showing the exact same expression he wore; one of love and complete adoration. They were breath-takingly happy on their wedding day. He has handsome as ever standing next to the Irish beauty in a virginal white gown.

Emma fingered the prominent features of his face idly before her eyes drifted once more to the woman next to him. She looked so familiar but she couldn't yet place just where she knew her from.

In fact, it was quite impossible that they had ever met, even crossing each other on the street.

Emma thought to herself as she tried to recall Killian's rather hurried life story before becoming a priest.

The next photo in the stack gave her goose bumps, a shiver running up her spine as she took in the scene before her. Nothing seemed to be particularly interesting or out of place. It was a typical photo that appeared to be maybe a year or two into their marriage; Killian stood behind his wife, his arms wrapped around her in a loose embrace, a cheesy grin plastered on his face.

She focused in on the woman in the photo, a small smile graced her lips as if mocking her husband, her long, flowing, red locks blowing in the wind behind them, her head placed against his, which was resting on her shoulder.

Emma squinted slightly for a better look but still she couldn't place the familiarity that haunted her.

She licked her lips slightly, wetting them with her tongue as she revealed the next picture. It was a single picture of his young bride. She looked to be close to 25 in the photo. It was a shot from the waist up of her in the billowing glades of Ireland on a cloudless day. She wore an emerald colored turtle neck sweater and dark denim jeans that stood out against her cooper-colored mane, her fair skin flushed with pink as she laughed. She looked like an angel amongst the greenery. It wasn't difficult to see what Killian saw in her. Her beauty in still form, captured in a moment in time, forever preserved for his pleasure.

Emma felt a small tinge of jealousy flow over her, tingling in her finger tips that held the reason for the feeling. She thought herself stupid for being envious of a dead woman. Not willing to think it over further, she replaced the photo to the bottom and coveted after the next in succession.

She felt her eyes widen in their sockets, all the blood draining from her face.

Impossible.

Emma heard another ominous crash of thunder, lightning streaking through the kitchen and then dissipating as her heart hammered in her chest.

She listened to the rain begin to pelt the windows, filling the void of silence she had found herself in and swallowed, readjusting her eyes to the inconceivable sight before her.

Emma's eyes flitted over the familiar features of the woman staring back at her, comparing them to her own from memory. It was like looking into a mirror. She traced her trembling fingers over the photo, the resemblance was unmistakable.

Same facial shape.

Same bone structure.

Same stature and height.

Same wild spirit through her eyes with the exception that they were blue, instead of Emma's natural green.

The things they held in common outweighed the differenced. What did it matter that they didn't have the same hair color, eye color, chin, and nose. Everything else was terrifyingly spot on. Undeniable.

It had to be a fluke…

A trick of the light – that's it!

The last photograph confirmed her suspicions. It was her. And him…

There she stood in front of him in a green halter dress, Killian standing behind her in a black and white tux that probably had been in style in his youth, joyous smiles plastered on their faces with a cheesy Sears-like backdrop behind them.

Emma's vision blurred with unshed tears, the stack of photographs slipping from her shaking hands and spilling out onto the floor. She released a strangled cry from her lips, clapping her hand over her mouth to muffle the sound as she sank to the ground, tears rolling down her face. She felt as though she couldn't breathe; gasping for air, her heart about to beat right out of her chest as she tucked her knees underneath her chin.

He lied. He lied to her.

He didn't want her. He wanted her because she looked like her…

"Emma?" Killian asked groggily, appearing in the archway. His eyes grew wide with concern for her disheveled state and he bent down to her level, raising a careful, tentative hand to sweep the loose hair from her face. "Emma what's—"

"Don't touch me!" She screamed, flinching away from him before scooting against the tile to further distance herself from him. "Don't fucking touch me," She panted, struggling for breath.

"Emma— I don't understand. What—" Killian sputtered, wracking his brain for an answer but coming up short, his entire face blank with confusion until he met Emma's eyes that looked at what lay on the floor below.

Killian cupped his mouth with the palm of his hand, sliding it down over his jaw and onto his chin before standing, his hands turning into fists at his sides as he closed then open his eyes. "You went through my things?" He bellowed sharply with slight aggression and shock.

Emma's jaw clenched and unclenched, the anger coursing through her veins. He had no right to be angry with her. It was he who had deceived her in this twisted game of back and forth. She had done nothing. The blame rested entirely on his shoulders and she wasn't about to let him forget that.

She rose to her feet, closing in on him with an accusatory jab of her finger against his chest. "Guess you should hide your things better," she gritted her teeth in challenge before backing away.

"Emma please—" he tried to reason with her, taking a few careful steps towards her.

"Don't!" She yelled at the top of her lungs over the crackling thunder. "You lied to me," she sobbed weakly. "All this time and you fucking lied to me!" She cried, tears falling from her eyes and rolling down her face.

"I didn't lie to you!" He tried to dispute as Emma shook her head resiliently, backing herself up into the corner of the kitchen.

Killian stalked towards her, cornering her into place, his hot breath hitting her face causing her to tremble in fear, "I never ONCE lied to you," he insisted with a low, rumbling growl.

Emma held her stance. "A lie by omission is still a lie," she informed him, her brow rising slightly as if to emphasize her point.

"Please," he chuckled sinisterly, "don't pretend like this changes anything."

"You pursued me!" he began to rationalize for her.

"No…" she whimpered.

"You wanted me!"

"No!" She protested, lifting her arms toward him in retaliation but he caught them in his grip.

"Yes," he affirmed. "Don't lie to yourself Emma," he grappled with her as she fought against him. "You wanted me and you were going to do anything until you had me." He told her darkly, each word he said cutting like a knife.

He wasn't wrong.

"I'm just a replacement for your dead wife!" she spat, pushing him off of her, causing his back to hit the opposite counter.

"You're seventeen years old, Emma! Don't be so naïve!" He countered her argument as he gripped the edge of the counter top. "What are the odds that I would find someone who looked exactly like her?"

Killian pushed off from the counter, standing before her, towering above her. Emma shivered to his touch as his thumb traced over her plump, pink lips then parted them. "Same sensual pink lips…"

Emma nipped at his thumb, her heart thrumming in her chest as he laughed softly, "Same firey spirit…"

His words were soft and lustful, filled with longing and regret, his voice sparking something deep inside of her that she fought hard to push down but it was impossible. She was so drawn to him.

"Same beautiful jaw…" he caressed her with his fingertips as she brought her face more into his hand. His fingers lingered there for a beat or two before he said, "Same creamy skin, so soft to the touch…" he practically purred and she could feel his arousal brushing against her stomach. "You came along, Emma, and I just—" he took a moment to breathe as his eyes continued to rake lecherously over her cowering frame, "I couldn't stay away."

Emma released a jagged breath – she was unaware of the fact that she was even holding it – as another wave of thunder crashed outside, plunging them into total darkness.

"Stay here," he whispered, "I'm going to get a couple of candles." He told her briskly, motioning for her to not move a muscle with a steady hand against her shoulder before shuffling around the kitchen in search of his chosen light source.

Emma's breathing was labored as thoughts tossed and turned in her mind. Somehow he managed to still hold this overwhelming power over her – even when he was at fault. He'd turned this all around on her, the idea that she resembled his dead wife still resting uneasily in her mind just waiting to cause her indisputable destruction, it would only be a matter of time. It was just too much to handle. Too much to take in and she was crumbling under the weight of the revelation.

She needed to get out of there. Now.

Emma felt her way through the darkness, trying to be careful not to raise suspicion from the man who had completely destroyed everything she knew to be truth. A man who she cared for. A man who she thought she might even—

No. Never. Not anymore…

She wouldn't allow herself to get heartbroken over a stupid fling she knew would never work out. They could never truly be together. What did it matter if she let him use her for his own selfish purposes?

She supposed that in his own odd way he cared for her, even if he was only satisfying his longing for his dead wife. It was… weird.

This isn't happening…

Emma's eyes strained through the darkness, her heart jumping when she heard a drawer slam followed by another one opening. She held onto the countertop, using it to guide her out of the kitchen, slipping out into the living space and scurrying off into the bedroom.

"Found them!" He exclaimed, pulling out the candles and putting them on the counter top before retrieving the lighter from the drawer and lighting them. There was another loud rumbling of thunder as Killian turned to face Emma. "Emma—" Killian paused, finding her missing. "Emma!" he called out, grabbing a candle and lighting his way through the darkened house until he returned to the bedroom where Emma was stumbling into an oversized pair of his sweatpants.

"What are you doing?" He asked, confusion coloring his face as his voice dropped into a low tenor.

"Leaving," she said simply without a trace of emotion as she adjusted the waistband, folding it over a few times so it fit snuggly around her hips.

"And where the hell are you going to go, Emma? It's three o'clock in the morning."

"Home," she growled in reply as she tucked his long, oversized tee into the waist band and busied herself with collecting her belongings and sweeping them into her bag.

"That place isn't your home."

"It's the only place I have and it's better than staying here with you!"

"I won't let you do this," he protested, placing a stilling hand over the top of her bag which she immediately ripped away from him with a huff. "You're making a huge mistake," he warned her.

"The only mistake I've made is starting this with you in the first place."

"Emma— this changes nothing!"

"God damn it, Killian! It changes everything! And I'm not going sit idly by while you use me! I'm not her, Killian, and I never will be!" She cried, her green eyes now red and tired.

"Emma, you don't understand," he pressed.

"There's nothing to understand!" She said unnervingly, her lower lip trembling. She gave a singular, final nod before throwing her bag over her shoulder and stomping out of the bedroom.

Killian set down the flickering candle, vaulting over the bed to the opposite side where his discarded pants were and hurriedly pulled them on when he heard the door open. "Emma! Wait!" He managed to yell after her until he heard the door slam shut, the sound echoing off the walls and his eyes widened in blind panic.

No, not again.

No!

AN: DUN DUN DUN! Cliff hanger! So that happened. I'm really anxious to see the response and comments to this because it was a huge plot twist and I'm so fucking happy I don't have to keep it a secret anymore. It was eating me alive! I imagine that some of you are rolling your eyes considering not reading anymore and I'm going to plead with you to reconsider. Those of you who do continue reading will be rewarded in the next chapter and get something that I know a lot of you have been bugging the crap out of me for and trust me your gonna want to read it! As always I love hearing what you guys have to say just don't be mean, there's never a reason to be mean. If your too shy or want to talk seriously about things in a more private setting you can reach me on tumblr or drop me a PM here, I'm always on board for that. Thank you so much for suffering through this lengthy chapter and I hope to see everyone back here for the next chapter. Thank you for reading! –Cat