Crimson Fate (R-M)

Chapter 11- Love Somebody (Maroon 5)

*possible triggers*

Caroline stare at the dress for the Thanksgiving dinner. Bonnie was with her on Saturday at the department store for moral support, as she was sent to by Mrs. Lockwood for a suitable holiday dress. At this point, Caroline being eighteen was starting to be looked at more carefully by public figures for her affiliation to the Lockwoods.

Her face frowned, in confused disappointment, and who better to clear it up for her, than her best friend? "What's the problem?"

"Well, I'm thinking that his mom is trying say something, without saying it."

"You mean, that she hates your style?"

"Yeah. This is nothing I'd ever wear."

"She just wants this family picture to look completely wholesome. I get it. She works in government. And she has to make sure her whole family and everyone they are associated with don't look questionable. I'm glad I don't have to worry about that."

"Yeah. Well... I'm supposed to be the consummate girlfriend." She sighed, and grabbed the dress off the hanger, begrudgingly walked behind the pristine champagne colored curtains and started removing her wardrobe so she could try the dress on. "We are only seniors in high school."

"Caroline, you can always forgo the dinner."

"Yeah right. Tyler hates when I don't show up to his family's invites." She yelled over the long fancy curtain.

"He'll get over it."

"You clearly don't know Tyler then. He doesn't just get over things."

"Why are guys so complicated?"

"Hey! Idea! Why don't you come with me? I'll feel so much better if you're there."

"Won't your mom be there?"

"Yeah, but she plays her part too. She's just as bad as Carol."

"Well... I don't know. I kind of agreed to doing more things with club for my momma. She wants me to be a part of the big events. Which includes but not limited to the clubs Thanksgiving Dinner."

"Yeah. I guess. Crazy, a year ago she was okay with you not wanting shit to do with the club. Now suddenly, she's all over you. What's with the change of heart?"

"Believe me, I don't know." Bonnie sat in the purple velvet chair with her legs crossed fiddling with her phone. "But, it's not so bad lately." She casually mumbled. Caroline peeped her head out of the curtain, in shock, and gave Bonnie a look of worry.

"Okay, who are you and what did you do with Bonnie Bennett?"

"Haha." She said sarcastically. "I look at it, as one more year, and I'm done with the club. So, I may as well make he best of it."

"Crazy. That it?"

Bonnie squinted her eyes. "What do you mean, "that it"? Yes. What else would it be?"

"Has nothing to do with Sal?"

"What?! No. He is so far off my radar. Remember... James?"

"Yeah. I do. And I don't believe you about Sal."

"Whelp, that sounds like a personal problem. He still sees me as a kid. To him, I'm just a kid." Caroline wondered why it mattered to Bonnie that he saw her that way, if she was t concerned for him. "But, James. James sees me as a woman." Something about that was an allure for Bonnie. Feeling challenged by Damon for who she was, forced her to really grow up in ways she was unaware she had the room for growth. "Besides, unlike Sal, I'm totally into James. I'm not into Damon in that way. He's kind of an asshole."

Caroline still didn't believe nor buy it, but for now pressing one issue at a time was her motive.

"James sees you as a woman because you told him you're twenty-one. Sal knows your seventeen. You can't hate him for being careful with the truth. There is a distinct difference."

"Okay, I don't actually hate Sal. But," she paused then sighed. "Never mind. It's complicated."

"You are becoming complicated woman!" Caroline laughed. "So, when can I meet the infamous James Westgate?"

"Caroline, its difficult, because I told him I was twenty-one, and, I can't just keep up the lie if I'm extending on it. And introducing him to my teenage friend then lying about her age too. "

"I won't give you away. Come on. Let me meet the guy who makes you forget about this town. I need to forget about it all for a night too. Pleeeease? This stepford-girlfriend, dress shopping is a nightmare." She grinned like a kid begging for a popsicle. "That night out he treated us to was fun as hell. Besides I think with the fact you've been hanging with him, I should get to know him. For the sake of your safety. It'll help me feel more comfortable when you're with him."

Bonnie got a phone buzz, looked down and it was Damon.

555-986-8774 : Can't go to the mountains Saturday. Some club shit came up.

Bon Bon : We still going Wednesday and Friday?

555-986-8774 : Fuck Yeah. So don't leave me waiting ;)

Bonnie paused and grinned slightly, but stayed focused on her phone as Caroline peeped out watching her.

Bon Bon : Aye Aye Captain (*Solutes*)

555-986-8774 : You're such a drama queen :\

Bon Bon : big baby

555-986-8774 : Pft

Bon Bon : Pft

555-986-8774 : See you tomorrow. Don't be fucking late.

Bon Bon : with Bells & whistles

555-986-8774 : Only? *winks*

Bon Bon : walks away *flips you off*

555-986-8774 : evil smirks* winner by surrender

Again she shed a light chuckle and that's when she was interrupted garnering Caroline's attention. Bonnie quickly locks her phone screen.

"Helloooo."

"Oh sorry."

"Who the hell has you all giddy?"

"Giddy? Pft. Nobody. Just thinking about something."

"Something Or Someone?"

"Care!"

"Well, was it James?

"No. L-O-L! It wasn't. But anyways moving on." Caroline side eyed her friend for the time being. She knew whatever it was would come out eventually. Bonnie was different than Elena. Where Elena gave her trust out willingly. Bonnie was far more cautious.

"Sure. Whatever. Soooo?"

"Soooo, What?"

"James Westgate, best friend. Meet him." Bonnie was bumped out of her small talk with Damon and had to refocus on James.

"Fine. I'll call him, and figure something out." Bonnie went through her phone and sent a text to James, and by the time she was done her friend came out of the dressing room with the dress on. Blue like her eyes and stunning, to the point that Bonnie's jaw dropped. "Oh my god. You look amazing."

"I better look good, for twent-five hundred bucks."

"Damn. If only I could afford a dress like that."

"Yeah, this is on the Lockwood account. Not mine. Or trust me, I'd be at Express, or Guess."

"Well, I say take the dress. The worse that can happen, is you start up a resale page online of the overly expensive clothes they buy you, and bank the cash."

"True. That's a good idea." She observed her body in the dress, and smiled apathetically. "Don'tcha just love the holidays?" Sarcasm was more than an understatement as it bled through her fake smile.

...

Water flowed lightly in the background while no birds chirped this Wednesday. They must've been off somewhere bathing or mating. But it was relatively quiet in the woods, and all that stood between them were fists and guilty consciences.

Damon and Bonnie stood quietly at the creek staring at each other. He'd put himself in the perfect position for her to strike him. But he'd also, allowed himself ample opportunity to catch her off-guard, if she over-through her punch. Both of her feet were planted, one slightly in front of the other and her elbows bent, loosely. He jumped around a bit trying to detour her focus. But she remained tuned into his lava eyes.

As he circled, the perimeter in which they stood, the only sound was the near by creek, and water running through the mountains. Once in a while leaves blew at the right moment, giving a dimension to the silence.

Between the two, Bonnie was the more still body, just rotating position, as he moved around her like a predator. He swung slowly towards her face, and she ducked.

"Don't completely duck. You wanna move your body slightly, in a way that doesn't destroy your momentum. I swing, watch my eyes to assume where I'm directing it, then slightly dip the opposite direction." He corrected and swung again, and she didn't catch it, as he tipped her chin.

"Damn."

"Damn is right. Had I swung full force, it would've been lights out baby." He kept bouncing about while she stood exhausted. "Don't stop. Keep moving."

"But I'm tired." She growled. "We've been at this for hours."

"I don't care if you're tired. You know the ability to attack is the highest when a victim is worn from exhaust. That's when the opponent, or predator will try to over power you. Now, you haven't taken a sufficient swing. And believe me, I know it's in you little firecracker. Trust me. You're a baby tiger." He smiled. "Go with your gut baby girl."

"Papi, I can't do this technical stuff. Girls don't fight like this. We aim when you don't expect it, take you down grab a hand full of your hair, and then fuck you up." She said.

"So, am I here, teaching you to defend yourself in a cat fight? Or am I sitting here trying to teach you to defend yourself from a fucking man attacking you. You wanna street brawl, some bitch, fine, but I'm here giving you skills to outsmart an opponent, because at the end of the day, fighting isn't all about size or power. Okay, it's a battle of intelligence, stamina, speed, focus, the right hit at the right moment doesn't require so much power. Nine times out of ten, a grown ass man will over power your little ass. You need to be smarter."

"How do you know so much about fighting. I mean I never met a thug who analyzes this stuff the way you do? Like a professional."

"Don't worry about me. Okay? Just trust me, when it comes to fighting, I know a thing or two."

She looked at him curiously? "Why?"

"Damn! Can you literally, just do as I say and quit questioning everything? Remember... loyalty, trust?"

"And I'm the drama queen? Pft. Who will attack me anyway with you on my ass everyday?" She asked humorously. "I mean, I've got a guard dog. No one wants to attack a girl walking around with a pit bull." She laughed, and dropped her arms, and just as she did, he caught her off guard, and smacked her face. "What the fuck?" He smacked her again. "SAL!" He smacked her again, and she reached full force to the back with her right arm, and threw it forward aiming to hit him, and he caught her arm, and pulled himself around to the back of her, locking her arm in his clutch behind her back and holding her body against her will. "Let me go!"

"See what I mean. You need to listen. I know what I'm talking about. I caught you easy."

"Fine. Now let me go."

"Oh yeah, because I'm gonna let you go. I'm a vicious rapist, or murder! You scream let go, and that shit excites me." He said frankly. "I'm going to torment you, and make you weak, just by using my brain while you use all your strength in your body fighting against me. Because I'm already bigger and stronger than you." He tightened his grip. "And I'm not going to barely sweat. Then you're gonna scream, and I'm already winning, because I'm a mental player. I get off on hurting you... mentally... physically... and emotionally!" He yelled. He pinned her tighter into his arms, and squeezed making her scream in pain. He felt her choke on her breath. He knew her small body could hardly handle it, but he kept going. "A few weeks ago, before I started working with you, I did this to you. I caught you off guard in your room and took the wind out of you, just by squeezing you. I put, barely any effort, and you fought me for a few minutes before you were done for it. I could have hit you once and made you go unconscious. I could've raped you, and if I was even sicker torture and killed you." He pulled her body closer to his and felt her start to sweat. "You feel that?" He said between gritted teeth, squeezing her. She could barely talk because he was squeezing so hard at her stomach. "I'm beating you without even trying. Am I hurting you?"

She'd tried to speak, but could barely get a word out. "Mhmm. Fuhh... I can't... b-b-breath."

"Now I'm going to tie your hands, since you have no strength, rough you up, then rape you."

"Noooo." She whined, into the atmosphere and he continued at her as if he was a real predator attacking her.

"Why? You've given me what I want. Now I'm gonna take what I need." He whispered in her ear. Bonnie wiggled more, and the more she wiggled the more he resisted, and the more he was beating her. He taunted her the way a real predator would. "Come on baby. Let me give it to you. You know you want it." He nibbled on her ear, and she had no choice but to reach back and head butt him. He stumbled backwards clutching his nose in both hands, and felt to see if she bled it. She didn't, but his nose was hit hard enough to hurt. Still, she was so out of breath she couldn't retaliate. He knew she needed a lot more practice. He watched her catch her breath, hunched over holding her knees, and coughing.

He walked towards her, and grabbed her gently by the shoulders, standing her up. "Hey..."

"Fuck." She started to cry, "You hurt me."

"I'm sorry."

"Listen, I know you want to help me, but- but..." still trying to catch her breath. "You fuckin hurt me." She cried. He immediately felt bad, and took his shirt off, and used it to wipe her tears. "I'm not good at this shit papi."

"Stop it, baby girl. You're good at this. Okay? Your just oblivious to the possibilities. And all I want, is for you to understand, that the worst is possible. I'm going to teach you until you can't take it. And then I'm gonna keep going because I know it's in you. It will take a while, but I'm gonna make you a fighter whether you like it or not. I can't just, stand by and watch you make stupid mistakes."

Bonnie was trying to take deeper breaths to calm down. "I didn't realize how bad of shape I was in. You have so much more stamina than me."

"Listen, you're not in bad shape. You just need to use your wits when fighting. It's not about the biggest hit or the strongest person. It's about thinking. Because, the story I told you about Rod and Alisha, was a true story. The worst CAN happen. Maybe it's not always the case, but it's possible. I don't want that to be you."

She looked up and away from him, trying to fight her tears. "Okay. I get it."

"Fuck. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone that far." He held the bridge of his nose and pinched it, taking a breath.

"I still can't believe you're teaching me this stuff." She said in shock.

He stood before her shirtless and while it was such a beautiful sight to her. She was more impressed with how patient he was with her. His body was just the icing on top of the cake. His patience and calmness drink these moments meant a lot to her. Because, in that way, he was the total opposite of Marcel. "If it makes you feel better my nose fuckin hurts. That was a good head butt. You paid attention when I taught you. Good girl."

"No. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm the one that's sorry for making you cry."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. I hate seeing you cry. It bothers me. I'm supposed to prevent that from happening, not be the reason. You crying hurts my soul. I can't even explain it. I just, does and I hate myself right now."

"It's okay. You didn't mean to."

"Fuck." He breathed. "That's it for today, okay? No more practice or sparing. We should head back."

"Please, don't just disappear. I'll do better."

"It's not you. It's me. Let's go. We need to go." He adamantly spoke, walking towards his bike. They didn't have guns today. They just spared, and he had his bike. When he put his shirt back on, and his cut, he waited for her to walk back towards the bike. He handed her his dome, and got on the bike. When she crawled behind him, he felt like shit. She felt awful, like she'd done something wrong. But it didn't stop her from wrapping her arms around his waist tight.

It always made him feel like a King, literally having her on the back of his bike. Of all the years he'd been a King, he never felt as much like one as he did when she held onto him on the back of his bike. His best friends little sister. He always smelled her hair in the helmet, after she took it off. But while it was on her, he made sure to pay attention to everything else. Like how warm she felt between her legs as they wrapped spread on each side of his waist. How hard her thighs gripped him, when he hit the curves going up and down the mountain. The way she squeaked when he drove between vehicles on the highway, and grabbed him even tighter. Sometimes, her hands would go underneath his shirt, when he drove fast enough. Pressed firmly against those abs, that she adored, and pretended not to noticed. And secretly, he went really fast just to feel her fingers on his skin, especially when she unknowingly fiddled with the hair of his happy trail. And every once in a while, he'd clutch her hands with his own to feel her there. Something about feeling her being there, even if knowing she was there, was comfort to him. His skin on her skin, or vice versa. It did something indescribable to him.

...

Damon and Bonnie had become intrinsically intertwined into one another's world. And as long as he's kept it a secret, it could go, as far as either of them wanted it to, if they allowed it.

He'd left and took a bit of a drive to make sure he didn't get to her house until after dark. Once there, he dropped her off, and then drove about a block away into a secret location, which he could house his bike. Then he waited for the phone call or text from her, letting him know the coast was clear for him to come inside. Once inside, he carefully remove his leather, hung it up, in her closet. He took his boots and socks off, and she put a pallet of blankets together on the floor for him. Somehow he's been okay sleeping over on her floor, as compared to his own King-sized bed.

She lay on her bed, uncomfortably in the dark. After the day in the mountains, she kind of waited for him to speak again. But, the buzz and lighting up of his phone got to her as it kept him

occupied. She noticed him texting, and smiling over and over. "Hmmm." She huffed loudly, turning her back to him. He looked up at her then kept texting once he saw her back. "Ahhh." She said again. He turned towards her again, then went back to texting. After several minutes of flirting with Rose, he'd finally decided to ask Bonnie a question.

"Your bro been sleeping here?"

"I haven't seen or heard from Cello in days. Thought you knew where he was."

"Nope. Thought he was laying low, here lately.

"No." She was certain of herself, and it bothered him that Marcel was MIA.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine." She said quickly.

"You seem annoyed."

"I'm fine."

"I don't think you are."

"Well, whatever, ya know. Just- quit thinking so much about it."

"What's on your mind? Is it Cel being gone?"

"Seriously?" She turned to him aggravated. "My brother picks up and leaves when he wants. I'm used to this. He's been gone plenty before. In case you forgot, he was gone for months this last time. How can you literally ask me that? You took him."

"I didn't take him actually. It took forever to find him. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking." He lay and watch her sit up in annoyance. "Hey, I'm sorry. I forget how it affected you. I'm not used to having a woman in my life,

"You do have a woman in your life. You can't seem to stop texting her." Bonnie said.

It's when he realized something different about Bonnie. Something he'd never noticed about her before. She was jealous, of Rose.

"Who said I was texting her?" He asked curiously. Feigning his common sense.

"You know, for a "grown up" you sure are clueless."

"Then tell me."

"I'm good D. I don't want to talk about it."

"Listen, regardless of what you think, I don't have a woman in my life like that. Okay. Not someone who I focus on, or think about their feelings often. Having you around lately has been a learning experience for me. Trust me. Most men don't think as deeply about things as women do. So, the thoughts don't come to me as quickly about how it can affect you."

"What... you mean not having a man around regularly my whole life? Having a dad until I was seven, and even then him being gone often before he died. Not having normal holidays because he was always occupied making sure the club was okay. Waking up alone with my mother, crying because my dad was MIA, and having my brother use that same example as he got older. Me and my mom sleep in his house alone every night. I don't know what it means to have a man caring about me, in a way that he checked on me every night, or made sure I was giving boys the right impression of myself. No! Not what Marcel does, when he screams at me in front of a group of boys staring at me. It's like he has no idea what it's like being a woman. He humiliates me for being a woman, and makes me feel like shit about how boys look at me. Like it's my fault they gawk or whistle, or make comments." Damon didn't like hearing that part as much as Marcel didn't like it. "But actually teaching me what boys think about, and trying to keep me a step ahead, mentally. No! That's not my life. I was raised to not understand fully what it meant to keep and hold a man's attention, in the right way. I'm made to feel like I have to be ashamed of my body, because men can't control themselves. I have an obscured view of what it means to understand, how a man acts when he really cares about you. How to know he's not using you, for your body. So, I just don't do what girls my age do. I don't have sex. I don't date boys my age. And I don't kiss them. Because in my mind. They all just want sex, and none of them will stick around once they get it. That's what having my brother and father have taught me. And before you ask, no. I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I'm okay with it, because I have no choice but to be. I've accepted it. It's been almost eighteen years of a man making me feel like a I'm supposed to sit at home and look pretty but not enough that the opposite sex finds me attractive. Stay put while the "man" works and just wait on "his" money. If I waited for my brother's money... Oh my god. I'd wait forever. For seventeen years, I have been sheltered with false happiness, while they went out there and did exactly what they preach against to me. My brother and father became the men they didn't want me involved with. They both were "that guy" and all along they told me to never get close to "that guy." And now look I've lost them both, and sometimes it feels like my fault. Like I didn't do enough to help or save them. Me and my mom. Like I wasn't enough to make them see me differently. Treat me differently. Love me enough to stick around."

Instantly he pain inside of her. She didn't realize right away how emotional she'd become but when she noticed she turned her head and cleared her throat so he wouldn't think about what she'd said.

He sat up, and put his hand on top of hers. Holding her fingers gently. "Baby girl?"

"Never mind what I said. I didn't mean to-"

"Baby girl?" He squeezed her hand in a controlled manner.

"What?" She asked defensively trying to pull her hand away from him, as he held tighter.

"Your brother cares about you. I know he does. It's in the way he talks about you, and thinks about your safety. He really doesn't know how to show it. He wants so bad to pick up where his pops left off, that it messes him up sometimes. But he loves you. I promise he does."

"You have no idea what I go through with Cello. What I've been through." She spoke softly, like a broken little girl. "None! There's some thing's you just don't do, when you care about someone. When you love them and want their happiness, you refrain from certain behaviors. You don't-" she stopped herself. "Never mind."

"Talk to me. Something happen between you guys?"

"Everything happened and nothing at the same time." She tried pulling her hand away and he held it tighter. She wasn't used to a man being patient with her. Except James. Damon had his moments in the beginning where he had a hard time controlling her and he forced his dominance. But slowly he was learning, and he was fighting for her silently but consistently. He held her hand and turned towards her.

"Cel will always love you. He just needs guidance."

"Where do you suppose he gets it? You, or the club? Because, you will always make excuses for my brother, Damon. Just like my mom does. You can see his fucked up toxic behaviors right in your face and you both will blame it on my Papi being gone. He's so toxic to me. And no one cares. Do, I have to just deal with it? Well, at some point a man has to grow up and be a man, Damon!"

"Hey, I'm not perfect but, I'm trying. You deserve better from Cel. I know for a fact you do. You deserve a lot more than you've gotten, this far. I don't know how to right the wrongs, of your past. But-"

"Papi, its not your job to right them. And, I'm not asking you to understand, or even care about me. Or what it is that triggers me or angers me. I don't need any man to guide me or care for me more than I care for me."

"That's not true. You do need that, because it seems like you don't think your capable of a man loving you. And that's not true. You just have to understand the way the world we live in operates. For some it's strictly survival and along the way protecting those you love is more important than understands them. And in this life, we didn't all grow up with the knowledge of "understanding" each other's feelings. But we grew up with strict core values. Love your family. Protect your family. Honor your family name. The soft shit, was never taught to any of us baby. We don't understand this shit."

"Then understand why I'm what you always call hard-headed. Understand why I have an attitude. Understand why I don't like being told what to do. Because I grew up in a world where all the men around me don't want to understand me, listen to me, or give a damn about who I am or what matters to me. I am a consequence of the toxic behaviors of this life. Do you get it? You and Marcel see me as trouble, and I see me as you see yourselves. A survivor."

Again, in these moments, Bonnie was teaching Damon so much. He learned a lot about her over the past few weeks and mainly when they spoke, seriously in this moment. She wasn't a trouble maker. She was merely searching for something she was missing. He felt it in her eyes, her shaking hands, and her voice. Her pain was embedding itself inside of him, and he felt like she was more of a reality of his own failures and the club's failures than anything. Though her struggles came from her family dynamics, he was able to see where he needed to become a better man through her. And he acknowledged her pain, and attempted to soothe it.

"Just listen to me... you want to know what it means to know when a man cares for you? He puts you before himself. He makes sure, when he can, that you sleep safely every night. He teaches you how to take care of yourself, and handle yourself with men, when he isn't around. He will go out of his way to make sure you're okay, and try to trust your judgement, out of respect. He will try keeping his eyes from wondering inappropriately at your body, and instead he'll give you frequent eye contact, because he respects you. And no matter how much he fights it, he thinks about your happiness, every day. Because sometimes, nothing else matters more than than your happiness does, to him. Watching you smile, means more to him than missing it, or letting some other man see it more than him. He'll let you take your anger out on him, slap him, punch him head butt him, and damn near kill him, and he'll never lay a fucking hand on you. He'll put himself out of his comfort zone, to make sure you're okay. He does what's best for you, even if it not what's best for him."

Suddenly, his hand on hers felt like a gesture of more than just comfort. Everything was magnified, while he spoke, and she promptly removed her hand from his. He paused, and raised his brows, then quickly apologized, realizing he over-stepped another boundary. "God. I'm so Sorry."

"Don't be. I just, need to go to the bathroom." She stood up quickly and walked to her bathroom shutting the door. She pretended to go to the bathroom then pretended to wash her hands, as she really splashed water on her face. Her heart was racing and her emotions were contained yet she felt confusion. Her whole body overheated. She grabbed her shirt and shook it to fan herself. Then she repeated the rinse, before drying her face and walking out of the bathroom. As she opened the door she saw him putting his shoes on. "Papi? Where are you going?"

"I should go. I forgot I had something to-"

"Don't lie to me. Please." Damon's guilt was eating away at him and the more he was with her the harder it was becoming to separate the boundaries they clearly needed to have in order to maintain an innocent balance to their relationship. Whatever status it was.

"Just, think I should go. I need to find Cel. You said he hasn't been here. I'm worried." This time he couldn't look her in the face.

"Seriously? He's grown. He makes his own decisions."

"Him being gone for this amount of days has me worried. I should go. I- I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable."

"Is that what this is about? You didn't make me uncomfortable. Look me in the eye." Really he did make her uncomfortable, but in an unexpected way. A way she wasn't used to, but could get used to if he let her and quite running from her. She wanted to beg him to stay, beg him to touch her hand again, but it wasn't in her. Instead, she'd withdrawal, like she typically did. Because she felt rejected in some way, and she just wanted the embarrassment to quickly fade. He finished putting his shoes on a grabbed his cut from her closet. Then he tried to explain his leaving, after giving her the beautiful subliminal explanation of how much he cared for her.

"Baby girl, it makes sense for me to leave tonight."

"At least look me in the eye while you lie to me." She demanded.

He fought it grabbing his things and she stopped him and turned his body to face her. "I'll be back tomorrow okay. Your mom is here, and it's damn near midnight. I think you should be fine. If you need me call me. Don't hesitate." He leaned forward and kissed her cheek, confusing her further. "See ya tomorrow?"

The man confused her to no end. The conversation confused her. His placement in her life was one big force of nature that she couldn't fight and would rather him just disappear instead of question herself. She hadn't had to until the point he entered her life as her protection.

"Whatever."

"Hey, baby girl, don't be mad-"

"I'm not. I just, I know you're going to see her. And that's fine okay, just be straight with me."

"Her?"

"The one you've been texting."

"Hey, I-"

"Stop papi." The nickname stuck for far longer than the week it was supposed to. "Don't give me some speech on what a guy does when he cares about a girl. Then jump up and run, the first chance you can't handle what's real and what's in front of you."

Her. She was in front of real and in front of him. And while she may have been young, Bonnie didn't have a hard time addressing her feelings to him. She wasn't ashamed of it.

"Everything I said was true-"

"You're too good for her. You know that?"

"What?"

"She doesn't deserve you. She's not the one for you."

"Baby, I can't have this conversation with you right now."

"Why? Because you love her?"

"Come on. Don't- Dont do this. Please."

"Do you love her?"

"I won't talk about her with you."

"Of course not. Go to her. I'm honestly very tired. I'd rather be alone anyways." She walked to her bed. "And be sure to lock the front door from the inside before you shut it." She covered herself fully with her blanket and turned towards her wall, away from him and didn't say another word.

Damon knew he was backstepping again with her. Something he managed to do over and over with her. Take a step forward then two back. And every time it confused her. He knew she was shutting down and before he made it worse, and without any further explanation, he left.

She tried to fall asleep before hearing him start his bike, because she knew his bike was a block away. But it didn't fail. Within five minutes his bike started, and she listened to him drive away. Forcing her to question her entire existence again, as a single tear fell from her eyes as she uttered "Fuck you." To herself as he drive off.

...

Damon drove around the night before for hours he called around, and even drove to places where Marcel may go.

He did that for Bonnie. Whether she saw it or not. His timing to leave her place, came at a perfect moment. One, he had to stop himself from getting carried away with her. And two, her brother had been MIA and he couldn't have it on his conscience, to not make sure he found Marcel, if anything for Bonnie, not the club. So he kept it quiet, on his search.

He'd called around, and tried tracking Marcel, until he finally got ahold of one of his connection in a smaller town about forty-five miles away. Marcel was spotted driving his bike around town. Sometimes alone. Sometimes with a girl on back. But either way, he was alive and well, and just ignoring phone calls.

This pissed Damon off.

Damon drove out, and drove around until almost around sun up, he spotted Marcel's bike at a place he'd frequently driven it to, over the past few months. A coffee shop. Damon parked, and got off his bike, looking at the small place. He searched in the window first, til he spotted Marcel in line. He was alone, so he waited outside for him.

Six am, and only three people in the coffee shop, and one of them was the barista. When Marcel walked out with a bag, and put two cups in his cup holder, he spotted Damon on the side of the building waiting. "So, what? You fuckin tracking me again?"

"I guess I got no choice, right? You ignore phone calls and fall off the face of the planet."

"Bruh, I needed a fuckin break, okay?"

"From what? Nobody has hounded you about shit."

"Just a break. I came to see my girl."

"This is new? Your girl? Who is she? Why don't I know her? How fuckin long, has this been happening? And before you lie, I got eyes everywhere."

"A few months Sal. Okay? She's a good girl. I try to keep the neighborhood out of the equation when it comes to her."

"And your sister? You forget you have a little fucking sister who worries herself sick about you?"

Marcel gave Damon a suspicious look. Damon suddenly was always focused on Bonnie. "B ain't worried about me. She loves when I leave, so I can stay out of her fuckin way. Not to mention, she acts like she gotta a little boyfriend. I should probably keep my black ass away a while, before I kill somebody."

"Thanksgiving is coming up bro. The club is getting ready. We need you."

"Bullshit. Club doesn't need me. But I'll be there, just not before then."

"Yo, what the fuck bro? Since when is it okay, to disappear for a fucking week and not say shit? Anything could've fuckin happened and we wouldn't know. You can't pull this shit Cel!"

"Why? Huh? You are on my case every fuckin week it seems like. I drink too much. I need to control my temper. I'm wreckless. Yadda yadda yadda"

"You do. You are! All of those things. I didn't lie. "

"Well, I got myself out of your fuckin way!"

"Bullshit. Don't act like a little bitch, because you're life is a fuckin mess."

"What's your mutha fuckin problem Sal?"

"What's yours?"

"Nah, we were boys. You had my back, and I had yours. Lately, it's like something else has you distracted!" Marcel yelled.

"Me? I'm the distracted one?" He smirked. "You disappear for days. You come see some female, no ones ever met. And I'm distracted?"

"Yeah. You! I got my shit in order. I got my club life, and I got my girl. The two never have to mix.

"That's bullshit, and you fuckin know it. Two can't co-exist separately. Especially since nobody knows her. This life, ain't like your everyday life, and she has to understand that. You can't come and go as you please."

"Yes, the fuck I can!"

"That's your fuckin problem Cel. You come and go when you fuckin please! You're selfish as fuck! You do what you want. You don't answer to or give a shit about nobody but you. Your sister was fuckin right!"

Normally Damon caught his mentioning of Bonnie, and in which context he used her name with Marcel, but this happened to be the wrong context at the wrong moment, and he caught it too late as Marcel walked towards him with an angry, cocky face. "What the fuck did you say about my little sister?"

"Nothin. Forget it."

"Nah. Forget shit. Why the fuck are you and my little sister having a mutha fuckin conversation about me behind my mutha fuckin back? Hell why the fuck are you talking to her period, when I'm not around?"

"Quit acting stupid. It's me. What's the fucking problem?" Damon had to hear Marcel's thoughts on he and Bonnie for further clarity.

"The problem is, these conversations better not be too friendly. You feel me?"

"Nah. Bro, I don't. What are you getting at?"

"You know what the fuck I'm getting at."

"No. I don't. I think you need to be specific." Damon dared, becoming as defensive as Marcel.

"You real lucky I trust you. But don't mistake my trusting you with being okay with certain off limit shit."

Damon said walking closer to Marcel, who was defensive to begin with. "I think you need to remember who the fuck you're talking to. Because at the end of the day, nobody has had your back more than me. Period."

Marcel took a deep breath and lessened his tension. "I'm sorry. I'm just on edge when it comes to my sister. I know you wouldn't betray me."

Damon couldn't even reply. The whole thing was uncomfortable when it came to dealing with Bonnie and Marcel.

"Anyway. So what, you guys been talking a lot?"

"Not really. I mean I have had have a couple conversations with her since the night you went at her at that bonfire."

"Right. Well, I hope not. Because you and Bonnie... I mean... that's not realistic. And you still watching her? Thought that detail ended when I apologized to her."

"At the end of the day, when you aren't there I have to be. This shit with the Mongrels is bound to get to her if we don't keep an eye on her. And you, are never around."

"You and B need to stay away from each other. You understand me. Stay the fuck away from my baby sister, Sal."

"Or what, you're going to fight me?"

"Or this shit won't end well. I promise you that."

"Someone has to look out for her."

"That's cool. But- Look out for her, from a long mutha fuckin distance, nigga. I'd hate to end a friendship because a nigga tried me with my sister." Marcel spit his words nasty towards his best friend, and meant every word. But Damon was never a punk, and Damon was never scared. He was still Marcel's superior, and even if he understood and respected his friend, he was nobody's bitch.

"Get your ass back to the clubhouse by midnight, or your on house arrest. Don't fuckin try me."

"The fuck?" Marcel asked in an angry tone.

"Yeah, when a member disappears without a word, I have the jurisdiction to lock him down. So, keep playin with me Marcel, and I'll lock your ass down. Til you get your shit together." Damon walked away, got on his bike, hitched the kick stand and started the bike with the loudest rev any six am rev would have called for. Then he left without any more words. The two men left on a heated note, and all was not kosher between them.

...

Bonnie didn't see Damon today. She decided to forgo their time together and go to work. She'd missed days of money, and one of her clients was willing to pay double to get her to work today. Mr. Grey. He was just a wealthy man from the hills. He wasn't James Westgate, but he was someone who'd paid Bonnie well in tips also. Also, he never spoke much to her, and continued about his business while she was at his house cleaning. But it was all an act to him. He loved walking in and out of the room while she cleaned. Stopping a few minutes and watching her.

He happened to walk into his living room as she dusted his mantle. He stood behind his bar, and fixed a drink. He tried remaining quiet, but today the noise stood out in the quiet, even in its slightest form. She heard several ice cubes land crisply into a short glass, and a cap unscrew on a bottle of liquor. For three seconds he poured his drink, allowing it to topple over the ice cracking it softly. Somehow the drink sounded like a a movie sound affect.

He watched carefully as she stood on her tippy toes to reach the furthest portion of the deepened mantle. The way her calve muscles protruded out of her leg, while wearing the sexy heels, her whole body was accented like a priceless painting or piece of art work. He gulped a bit of vodka, while being obstructed mentally from his own prison, losing his way on the curve of her spine. The rule about not touching was hard for every client, but heavily apart of the allure of Bonnie. Seeing this untouchable woman, and knowing she's just a few feet away. She listened as he poured a second glass, and drank it. She had no doubt in her mind he was hard, standing behind his bar.

Is this how she envisioned herself dealing with men? Especially after her conversation with Damon? No. but her life was her life, and she could only control what she could control. And while her sexuality was on display, she didn't see it that way. She saw it as her job, and nothing more. She saw it as power. The only man who she allowed herself to see differently was James. But, every other man was a dollar sign. And the more she embraced her body for her job, the more money she got. Topless wasn't as nude. There were nude cleaners also, but Bonnie couldn't go full nude.

Did it bother her, that she made men hard for money? Hell no. It was her power. It was a dollar sign. It was her livelihood. When she was all done at the end of every shift, she gladly grabbed her tips and smelled the envelope of money in her car a few blocks away when she smiled taking her wig off. Money always smelled good. Any time of he day. It never got old.

...

Sometimes when Bonnie went to James' house now, it was awkward with her being in a weird working relationship with him, and also dealing with him on a personal level. She was so used to cleaning his house, but now when she showered and dressed and sat there to enjoy it, it didn't feel right. He even loved buying her clothes, and dressing her up. "Do you like the new clothes Kitten?"

"I do." She said quietly. He noticed also a change in her behavior the past few weeks. Since she'd been spending so much time with Damon, her attitudes were very up and down. Where she used to be mellow, she was now in whatever mood the wind took her. And it usually depended on her relationship, and mood with Damon. Lately, she was very up and down with James.

"Listen, I know you're not used to dealing with an older man from a different side of the tracks as you. Which is why I will respect your sexual boundaries for now. But just so you know, not all men get off on sex alone." She looked at him strangely. "Let me clarify. Of course I love sex. But my levels of excitement stem from different things. So, understand that what you and I are, goes deeper to me."

"Thanks James. I appreciate that." She said sullenly with her mind still drifting to Damon.

"You know what I get off on?"

She was afraid to incur. "What?"

"Well, money, for one. Money excites me. Another form of excitement I feel, is to know I can have anything I want when I'm patient. I'm extremely patient. Because when I strike, I strike hard."

"Oh, I see." Bonnie's attention was sparked deeper and her interest levels peaked. Still, more out of nerves than anything.

"Like you for example. I wanted you, and finally, I got you. I loved that I'd never touched you for a year, and that we hardly spoke."

"You don't say."

"Oh, but I do." He grinned. "For me, all good things come with time. I didn't become this wealthy over night. I'm very particular. And so, patience has been a great gift to accompany me along the way."

"I see." Bonnie suddenly felt tense.

"I'm reminded that what we have now has been built up from a year of not touching. Do I want to make love to you? Certainly. But, I will take whatever time you need. Just promise me, that when we spend time together, it's about us. Okay Kitten? Just us. No outside noise." He said making her think twice. "Even the noise in your head."

She looked at him despairingly. "Sure. I'm sorry if my mood dampened your day."

"It didn't. But seeing you bothered by your... other life. In despair over the nuances of your under privilege or troublesome past, makes me want to fix everything and give you anything you ever ask for. Which is why being patient with you comes easy to me."

"I honestly don't want you to buy me things or give me money m. I just like that you listen to me and trust me."

"Sure. But when I finally have you, the way I want you. You're going to be so spoiled in riches, that the past will be a distant memory that you've escaped. And I refuse to salt your wound."

He stood up and walked over to the woman who'd been eating up all of his words and trying to let them melt inside of her. But this nuisance of Damon Salvatore was digging a hole into her brain. Not as politely as James either. On a more aggressive and forceful way, Damon's words and face was beginning to obscure her view of James.

As he walked to her, he took his jacket off and sat it over the back of a chair. Then he unbuttoned each of his shirt sleeves and rolled them up. Placing his hands gently onto her shoulders.

"What's wrong, Kitten?"

"With me? Nothing." She casually threw an M&M in her mouth and played with her hair, which she didn't comb today, because she was exhausted. She just covered it with a sexy wig initially. But since cleaning his house, and showering she'd relaxed into one of his large semi-plush dinning room chairs having put pinned her hair up.

"Don't lie to me. I can always sense when you're feeling tense, and trying to hide it." His large and powerful hands began massaging her shoulders.

"James, I'm fine. I just have a hectic schedule, and all I want to do these days is relax. But it's impossible."

"Why so?"

"I don't know. Because I don't live that kind of life, where I can relax. Number one, I'm not rich like you. Number two, my circle of friends, keep me busy. My job, keeps me busy. My family keeps me busy." Still fiddling with her hair, wearing a white short set he'd bought her. The shortest linen shorts, and the little white, sleeveless button up, tied at the stomach with some golden Gucci loafers, and a Gucci belt. She didn't dare dress in the clothes he bought her around her friends, and family. They'd quickly question what type of money she made, and why. So, she kept her high profile lifestyle, in the world of James and every other day, was neighborhood Bonnie with Chucks or Vintage Nike's, denim cutoffs, and tiny tees.

"I don't understand how your circle of people keep you so busy. I see you twice a week, and you work the other five days." A deep breath of air was exhaled after he inhaled it, trying to reach her in some way. Noticing that over the past month or so, she'd been slightly more distant from him, and not taken by all of his charm. "Kitten, as busy as you are... What time do you have to let their idiocies delegate your emotions?" He reached for her hand and pulled her to the glass table in his dining room, away from the dinning room mirror she was checking herself out in.

"James, the details of my life are far from exciting. Which is why I'm okay, spending time in yours. You make me forget most of the shit I deal with regularly."

"Except today."

She couldn't shake Damon and Rose at the moment. No other man, had ever stored jealous thoughts and feelings inside of her until Damon.

"Whoever he is... let me show you that I'm better. I'd never make you feel so hopeless."

"There's no he, James."

"Only a man can bring such a lonely look about such a beautiful woman. And if that's the case, I need to do a better job of making you forget about him." James was relentless, and Bonnie knew it. She turned to apologize and he interrupted her in what was an unconventional way, to her.

"I'm sorry James. I didn't mean-" He pulled her for a long kiss.

Bonnie was taken by surprise when she felt his tongue enter her mouth. She'd never kissed a boy before. Well, just during Seven Minutes in Heaven, with Stefan. Yes her best friend, was her unspoken of first kiss. And one other boy when she was in junior high school during dare. But what she remembers didn't equal what James was doing.

Her mouth was tense and he pulled back. "I'm sorry. Did I scare you?"

"Uhh, no." Yes.

"I've waited well over a year to just, taste you. Your lips force my starvation."

Bonnie felt his pulse quicken, as he take a deeper look at her, then watching her lips, as she froze. It was her first real kiss, and even though his kisses didn't give her butterflies, he made her feel weightless. He just kissed her without asking. She didn't imagine it would happen this way. She thought the first time she kissed a guy, he'd ask her if he could kiss her. Then she remembered she was dealing with a grown man, who'd assumed she was grown. And probably assumed she'd kissed plenty of guys by now, not to be taken surprise by it.

"You're lips are absolutely addictive." He whispered into her nervous yet relaxed face. After he kissed her breathless, he turned her towards his table, "Ana Maria!" He called out.

"Yes sir." A woman with dark colored hair and fair skin walked out within minutes.

"My medicine please."

"James, what are we doing?" Bonnie asked bent over the table. And she felt him begin to caress her thighs. Her nerves were still fairly calm until the woman brought out a familiar casing and laid it out before him.

"Thank you dear." He smiled and started a quick session for her.

"James?"

"Kitten, I just want to make you feel, better. Whomever or whatever is getting you down, I want you to know, they aren't what matters while you're with me." He paused and looked at her as he finished. "To relieve some of your stress.

"I'm good. I probably shouldn't, right now, I have to work when I leave here." The truth was she knew she had to meet with Damon. And she couldn't take a chance with Damon.

"I hate seeing you bothered. You shouldn't live a life where I can't fix your problems. So... let me fix the boo boo, with some medicine."

"The thing is, I've got to be careful-"

"There is no one more careful than me." He sat her down in front of a few lines, and proceeded to take her stress away. One line after the other, they quickly jumped into their own reality.

"Stand up, love."

"What?" She asked confused, before she understood James got into character.

"There's a spot on the table."

"What? Where?"

"Stand up, and look." He politely suggested. Bonnie stood up and looked and saw nothing. "Further back." He said watching her confusion, and finding it endearing. Bonnie then leaned forward and he removed the chair from behind her legs. "Slightly further Kitten." At this point she was bent over. James stood pinchingly close and spoke softly. "See it?"

"No."

"It's right here." He used his fingers and squeezed them into her tiny shorts and started to rub her flesh.

"Oh my god, James." She gasped. When she wanted to stand he let his fingers rub her slightly harder. Bonnie thought about protesting but the feeling of his fingers was sensational. "Wow." She pinched out of her lips quietly to herself. Clenching her hands into fists and shutting her eyes as her forehead hit the table.

"My mistake, I was seeing things." He rubbed harder, forcing her to squeeze her eyes shut tighter, and hold her breath not knowing how she should feel about this. "Wow, your very wet Kitten." His two fingers felt heavenly against her wetness, and Bonnie couldn't stop it because she didn't want to. "Why do I have a feeling that your taste is my favorite?"

He quickly stopped rubbing and unbuttoned the front of her shorts and pulled them down. "James, no sex remember?"

"Of course. No fucking." He smiled politely. "But, I would like to taste you. Because, I think it'll help calm you down. And I'm pretty starved for the feeling of pleasuring you and making you happy."

"I really don't think-"

"Shhh, shhh. Let Sir take care of you." His large hands gripped the higher part of the side of her leg, and she started to shake. "Don't worry sugar. Open up for me, and let me taste everything inside of you."

The words frightened her, and excited her at the same time. When she heard her friends talk about sex, she'd never heard them speak of sex in such a mature and sexual way. It was fairly typical and adolescent. Neither friend had ever said a man asked to taste everything inside of them. If she wasn't coked out of her mind she may object, but he was so convincing, that her flavor was supposed to be on his tongue. And her nose candy made her believe him. The moment she felt him touch her with his mouth she tensed up. This was a first for Bonnie, no man had ever touched her pussy. Ever.

"Sir, this is wrong. I work for you."

"Your fired."

"What?"

"I'd rather have you than your services."

Bonnie could hardly think straight as her pussy dripped for him and he became the man who'd been starved to lap up her juices.

"We are making a mistake, don't you think?"

"Mhmm." He disagreed with his mouth full of her soft, thick honey. He licked her hungrily, and made her cream onto his tongue. After a few minutes he pulled up. "Is it still a mistake? Because, if you object, I'll stop. I promise." All the while he spoke against her wet lips making the sound vibrate her pussy. In return, making her want this feeling. Moving his face in a circular motion around her center.

"Mmmmm. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." She was weak in minutes and pulling her hair hard out of the root. "This is crazy. But... Mhmmmm. Fuck!" Bonnie had never had a man touch her, taste her, penetrate her, or even rub his hand near her sweet spot. All she'd ever felt before, was that feeling Damon gave her, when she could smell his skin, or breath his air, or feel his breath near her lips. That feeling in the pit of her stomach, that crawled down her belly, and tickled her lady lips, was happening as James tasted her.

And even James' taste, still wasn't as strong as Damon's mere presence or stare. That's how much Damon affected her. But in the meantime, James did a helluva a job, making her hips dance from the music his tongue played. And in the moment, she'd forgotten about Damon. The ever running Damon. Who didn't dare put anything before his beloved club.

...

Bonnie spent a couple more hours with James. After he'd pleasured her and stated himself with her sweet honey, he had lunch for them and they enjoyed each other's company. Just laughing, and feeling the freedom, that no one else ever gave her. He was the man, that lived for her smile, and laughter. The man that handed her gifts, and felt secure in her leaving him until the next time, trusting her choices, and decisions. He was very secure with where he stood with her. James never questioned Bonnie. Because he gave her whatever she wanted.

And she always wanted to forget her stresses and just be happy.

James gave that to her.

For the time being.

Until she left his place, and drove to see the one person, who made her question all that she was, and all that she wanted. The one who challenged her, and forced her to be honest with herself.

She pulled her car into a space she and Damon agreed to meet up at, before they drove to the mountains. Today he was on his bike, which meant they were practicing sparing again today. She was sort of out of it. Her mind was lost in the translation of the music in her car, and she was stuck in a trance. She saw him parked, and suddenly it hit her. She needed to hide the fact that she was coming off a sexual and mental high, from the coke James gave her. And, though she didn't have sex with him, she felt guilty for letting him eat her pussy the way he did.

The rugged, thug, of a man she had a strange, and acquired fondness for, walked up to the door of her car. Waited for her to unlock it. Then opened it for her.

"You're late!" He said directly, into the air, not looking at her because he was irritated. She quickly scrambled for her sunglasses and casually slipped them onto her head, pulling them over her eyes. She hadn't even changed clothes, yet, having lost track of time. She would later regret not changing her outfit. He handed her his helmet, and didn't look a her before demanding. "Hurry up. Put it on. Get on. Let's go!" He got on his bike, starting it, and revving it loudly. She clutched her temples feeling the ache and the throb from the loud noise.

"Fuck!" She whispered. She had to get through the next few of hours with him, hiding every ounce of guilt and deceit, she's had, from living two separate lives. When she didn't get on quick enough, he revved his motor louder again, making her jump. She got on quickly after that, and wrapped her arms around his waist. She may have felt like shit, but the vibration of his bike seat on her, had her flashing back to James' mouth on her. And she had to control herself all over again. How was she going to hide anything from him at this rate? She crossed her fingers, and hoped for luck to be on her side as she had to spend the next few hours with Damon.

First, I apologize this chapter was so long. Caroline begins to feel like a step ford girlfriend. Marcel is not here for Bamon at all ! James wants to be the main man in Bonnie's life. I really hope you guys like and paid attention to Damon and Bonnie's conversation in her bedroom. And as for the rest of the whole chapter I hope you enjoyed it. Sorry for the delay in updating but the holiday week, my schedule, and family took me hostage. As always thx for supporting. Thoughts?