Warning: Chapter contains sensitive material! Please read at your own discretion.
Chapter song: "You Found Me" by Kelly Clarkson
"I've become comfortably numb until you opened up my eyes to what it's like—when everything's alright."
"You found me when no one else was looking—how did you know just where I would be?"
Sasuke swiftly made his way back to Taka's hideout, which Madara frequently visited to make sure everything was in check.
After training and reminiscing on his memories from years ago with Ruman, the clouds had turned dark and somber, as if the sky mourned her death too.
The collar of Sasuke's white, open-chested shirt flared up against his neck with the strong wind, while his dark, raven hair blew roughly against his face.
Arriving at the dim cave where his team stayed, Sasuke brushed aside the vines hanging over the mouth of the opening and ducked his head inside.
As he walked further into the cavern, the pitch black surroundings began to subside with the warmth of the candles Karin always lit to brighten up the den.
"Sasuke!" Karin gushed at the sight of the rogue ninja, running over to his side. "What took you so long? You shouldn't be out for so long when you're a wanted criminal… I was started to get worried since you don't usually need to train for a very long time—"
"And why would you need to worry about me?" he taunted coldly in response to her uptight prodding.
Karin immediately clamped her mouth shut.
"I just—" she began, stopping as Sasuke shot her an icy stare.
Karin wanted Sasuke. She really did.
But he always managed to intrigue, as well as terrify her, at the same time.
"You did come back later than usual," Suigetsu shrugged, speaking up for Karin as she threw him an annoyed look that said I don't need your help.
Ignoring him, Sasuke turned around coolly to head back to his room.
"Has Madara stopped by?" he asked without looking at them.
"Haven't seen him," Suigetsu responded, returning to wiping his blade.
Sasuke grunted and began walking away.
"Sasuke, wait—" Karin sputtered, stumbling in front of him.
She hastily took a tray off the neighboring table, laid with a bowl of rice and some meat.
"You should eat," she said, hands unsteadily gripping the tray.
Sasuke narrowed his eyes at her, ready to leave her behind as he had no appetite.
But he noticed what appeared to be a rather large gash with some mild bruising peeking out from below her long, black sleeve.
He suddenly grabbed her wrist roughly, startling her, causing Karin to instantaneously drop the tray of food. The ceramic bowl shattered against the cold, hard ground as its sound travelled loudly throughout the entire cave.
Jugo immediately stood up apprehensively, and Suigetsu looked back up as well.
"What happened?" Sasuke interrogated Karin seriously, still having a strong hold on her wrist, glancing down at it.
"N-nothing," she trembled, smiling nervously and trying to pull her sleeve over her arm to hide the injury.
"She hurt herself trying to get the meat that she cooked for you," Suigetsu said with an edge in his voice—one that warned Sasuke not to overstep his boundaries. "The one you just spilled all over the floor."
Studying her carefully while Karin was too afraid to meet his eye, Sasuke clutched Karin's arm and yanked her along with him to his room.
Karin turned a bright shade of red while her heart rate sped up.
Am I finally going to get some alone time with Sasuke? she thought excitedly.
"He's so fucking weird," Suigetsu muttered to Jugo, as Jugo just sat back down, also confused at what was happening.
Once Sasuke approached his room at the deepest end of the cave, he finally let go of Karin's arm and closed the door behind them.
"Sit."
Karin followed obediently and strategically plopped herself down on his tidy bed, fixing her bright red hair carefully.
She looked around his room curiously, since she usually was never allowed inside.
It was dark, but meticulously organized. The simplicity of the room reflected Sasuke's straightforward lifestyle, and Karin wondered how he had the time to clean his room if he was always training.
Or maybe his room was just never dirty—unlike Suitgetsu's and Jugo's.
Sasuke retrieved a box of medical supplies from the cabinet in the corner of his room, and made his way towards Karin, who waited for him eagerly.
"Sasuke-kun…" she murmured, batting her dark, long eyelashes at him sitting down beside her.
Ignoring her, Sasuke swiftly pulled out the roll of white bandages from the box and began unravelling them.
"Pull up your sleeve," he ordered.
Karin did as she said, never taking her eyes off him.
"I'm swooning," Karin flirted, taking another chance at Sasuke noticing her.
Still no response.
Sasuke may act cold to her, but there was no escaping Karin's sharp senses, as she felt his usual, cold chakra grow slightly warmer.
"You need to be more careful if you want to heal me," Sasuke warned emotionlessly, pushing her sleeve further up her arm. "How am I supposed to trust you if you can't even take care of yourself?"
"I'm touched that you care so much," Karin giggled, pushing her dark-rimmed glasses up her nose with her free hand.
She bit her lip as she watched Sasuke concentrate on wrapping up her arm. His dark eyes had never looked so alluring, and his smooth, black hair had never looked so welcoming to her touch.
But Sasuke's mind was elsewhere.
Thoughts fresh with flashbacks of Ruman, the sight of Karin's arm had triggered a rather distinct memory within Sasuke.
His eyes took in the deep bite-marks and scars he'd left on Karin's arm the whole time she's been with him; some had faded with time, some were purple, and some still had dried blood around them.
The smell of blood, though faint, made his nose tingle.
He'd always had a rather acute nose.
As Sasuke skillfully wrapped the smooth white bandage around Karin's arm, he couldn't stop his mind from wandering.
When he was younger, there were things about Ruman that piqued his interest.
She was always one to wear her heart on her sleeve—especially with friends and people she cared about—but Sasuke always felt like there was more to her that he wasn't seeing.
There were secrets about her that he wondered if he'd ever know, but always reasoned with it by reminding himself that there were secrets about him that he'd never let anyone else know.
But that day in spring, all those years ago, was different.
Perhaps, out of a mix of concern and curiosity, Sasuke couldn't let go of what he subconsciously already knew the answer to.
Ruman was always so predictable, yet unpredictable.
Sasuke irritatedly made his way to Ruman's house.
Why were they being given another mission after just returning from one?
It was probably going to be another unimportant, boring one—or worse, a cat-chasing one.
Those were the consequences of being Genin.
Ino had just invited everyone to a large luncheon at a restaurant a few hours ago, and Sasuke was surprised to hear Ruman didn't go either.
It was normal for Sasuke to opt out of these social events, as he disliked being around too many people for too long, and disliked loud, crowded places.
But Ruman was different from him.
Ruman adored her friends like none other, and would always make time for them, but Sasuke also noticed by now that she would get waves of isolation once in awhile.
He always just took it as her needing some space and time alone to recover, so it was rather unfortunate that he was being sent to retrieve her for another mission briefing.
At least Sasuke was being sent to retrieve Ruman, and not to retrieve Naruto. It usually worked out this way because Sasuke and Ruman both lived in the same general area of the village, and Sakura lived a little bit closer to Naruto than either of them did.
Ruman was constantly sleeping, and Naruto was a pain to get to do any sort of work, so Sasuke really couldn't complain about being given the task of retrieving Ruman.
At least she was cooperative.
Admittedly, Sakura got the short end of the stick, being stuck with waking Naruto up, dragging him out of his house, or even running through the whole village (and beyond) just to get a hold of him.
At least Ruman didn't leave her house. Usually.
Before Sasuke knew it, he'd arrived upon Ruman's familiar looking house.
It was a tan, faded beige color, with dark brown accents on the roof, balconies, and windows.
He made his way up her short, wooden steps and knocked briskly on the door.
No response.
He knocked again, louder this time.
Still nothing.
Sasuke backtracked and went around the house, into her tiny, unkept backyard. The weeds were starting to get obnoxiously long—almost reaching Sasuke's waist, and some of them were turning brown and yellow in color.
This girl…
Sasuke looked up at Ruman's window facing her backyard.
Her blinds were drawn open, meaning she was awake, and at home.
Ruman was easily a lazy person—though not as bad as Shikamaru—and always napped with her window curtains drawn. She liked sleeping in the dark, and she wouldn't leave them open when she wasn't at home either—Ruman was always complaining about being scared of intruders.
It was funny how many things Sasuke had picked up on Ruman over their time spent together, even if it was just the occasional summoning for missions.
Sasuke looked around the dirt ground for a good sized rock—he settled for a pebble, as Ruman would probably lose it if he broke her window with an actual rock.
He aimed it at the window frame, avoiding the glass, just in case he were to break it.
Throwing it ever so nimbly, Sasuke's pebble struck the window frame perfectly in the middle, where the vertical and horizontal frames intersected.
A split second later, Ruman was at the window, looking out at him.
He couldn't make out her face through the tinted glass, but gestured for her to come downstairs and get the door.
She disappeared as quickly as she'd come, as Sasuke returned back to the front of the house, waiting for the door to open.
He heard her uneven footsteps approach the door—they sounded more unsteady and hasty than usual.
Sasuke stood, waiting and ready.
The door finally opened, revealing the familiar, black-haired girl Sasuke knew behind it.
She peeked her head out at him.
"We have another mission—" Sasuke began, glancing up from the ground.
He stopped once he fully laid his eyes on her.
She looked rather worn out.
The subtle makeup she always wore on her eyes was smudged, and the bags beneath her eyes were undoubtedly prominent.
Her signature, soft cherry lips were pale in color.
"Already?" she asked curiously, perking her head up. "Didn't we just get back from one, like, a few hours ago?"
Ruman's voice didn't give her away—if Sasuke didn't know any better, he'd think she was fine.
But he couldn't ignore her slightly red, puffy eyes.
She'd been crying.
Deciding it best not to ask, Sasuke chose to pretend not to notice.
"Why, you're not ready?" Sasuke questioned coolly.
He cocked his head to the right to look past her into her house.
"What were you doing earlier?" he asked.
Ruman finally stepped out from behind the door, one hand on the door handle, the other behind her back.
"Nothing," she sighed. "Not like I'd be doing anything important."
They stood there for a few moments.
"Well, are you gonna make me stand out here and wait?" Sasuke asked sarcastically, breaking the silence. "Kakashi-sensei is probably expecting us soon."
"Shit, sorry," Ruman apologized, snapping out of her dazed state. "Can you wait out here for a minute? I just have to clean myself up a bit and I'll be ready."
"Fine," Sasuke grunted. "Make it quick or I'm leaving without you."
"Thanks," Ruman smiled sheepishly, turning to go back inside.
As Sasuke was about to walk back down the steps, his nose picked up a familiar, unmistakable scent of iron.
"Ruman."
Ruman turned back around, glancing at him curiously.
"Yeah?"
Sasuke's eyes narrowed ever so slightly, but he asked as casually as he could, "Are you hurt anywhere?"
The corners of her dry lips cracked upwards into a smile.
"No? Why would I be hurt anywhere?" she laughed tiredly.
Her smile reached her eyes effortlessly—maybe she wasn't lying.
But Sasuke recognized the smell of blood when he smelled it.
After being trained from childhood to have sharp senses, nothing could fool his sharp nose.
"Whatever you say."
Ruman, once again, turned around to close the door behind her.
Right as she walked away, there was no denying what Sasuke saw.
A tiny droplet of blood landing on the hard, wooden floorboard right behind Ruman's back, where she hid her arm.
Even out of the corner of his eye, Sasuke distinctly saw the red droplet trickle down and land onto the floor beside Ruman's foot.
Slightly disturbed, Sasuke told himself to not worry about it.
Ruman was her own person—she could deal with her own matters.
If she said she was okay, then she was.
Regardless, Sasuke still couldn't shake the uneasy feeling tugging at his subconscious, but even if he did want to help, he wouldn't know how to bring it up.
As he leaned against Ruman's stairwell railing, waiting for her, a small bird fluttered over and perched itself on Sasuke's shoulder.
"What do you want?" he grumbled mindlessly at it.
The small creature flapped its wings and flew away at the sound of Ruman's door handle turning.
And just like that, she appeared before Sasuke's eyes, looking more refreshed than ever.
Her makeup, though subtle, had been retouched, and her hair had been combed through.
The sparkle returned in her eyes as she grinned at him in the same naive, sweet way she always did.
"Ready?"
"About time," Sasuke retorted, sticking his hands into the pockets of his white shorts.
"I didn't even take that long," she complained. "Calm down, jeez."
Sasuke just tilted his head back and began to walk with his careless demeanor, as he always did.
He noticed a fresh new bandage wrapped around Ruman's left wrist.
Meanwhile, Ruman wondered if Sasuke had taken note of her wound.
She knew he was the type to keep quiet about these things, especially since he was much more of an observer.
Amidst her pain and anger, she lost control of herself sometimes.
She only really remembered crying her heart out, and feeling compelled to bring harm to her own skin.
Her face had gone numb with the tears that streamed down them, and she only remembered the droplets of a scarlet, red color appearing along her wrist as she dug a blade into it.
She lost herself.
That was, until the sharp rap on her window that caught her by surprise.
She'd never felt so relieved and happy to see someone in her backyard.
Sasuke, who never so much knew the slightest bit of what she was hiding, had brought her back down to Earth, out of her own head.
He grounded her.
The sight of him made everything seem so much more real, as she snapped out of her dangerous state of mind.
What was she doing?
Why was she hurting herself?
She didn't deserve this.
She knew better.
The Uchiha who stood outside her house, waiting for her to open the door so they could go on a mission together, saved her—without even knowing it.
"Sasuke?" Karin's voice took Sasuke by surprise as he snapped back to reality.
Today was an oddly sentimental day for him.
Why am I getting so distracted by my thoughts?
He didn't even know how long he'd been staring at Karin's arm after bandaging it up for her.
"Be more careful next time," he articulated, letting go of her arm.
Karin blushed and scooted closer to him on the bed, resting her head on his shoulder.
She rubbed his arm, and her hand traveled from his forearm to his hand as she tried to interlock their fingers.
"Now get out," Sasuke hissed suddenly.
Karin recoiled in surprise.
"What? Why—"
"Now," he snarled.
"Hmph," Karin huffed, reluctantly getting up from his bed and storming out of the room.
She could never fully read him.
In her hospital bed, Ruman sat in the moonlight, unable to sleep again.
Her bandages looked old.
She should probably replace them.
She unraveled the white cloth to reveal her scarred arm.
Ruman gently traced her finger across the scars stacked above each other like lines, and wondered why she couldn't remember how she obtained the third scar.
Why was it so much shorter?
What stopped her?
Ruman felt a soft aching in her chest, like an invisible force tugging at her heart.
She placed her hand above her breast, feeling her faint heart beat with the ticking of the clock on the wall.
Why do I feel this way?
A bird perched itself on her windowsill and chirped.
Ruman directed her attention towards it.
"Hey little guy," she grinned, reaching a hand out. "Are you here to keep me company tonight?"
It chirped again, then fluttered away as quickly as it'd come.
Ruman sighed.
Looks like it'll be another restless night with me, myself, and I.
Author's note:
HELLO LOVELY READERS! I cannot even begin to apologize for being absent for so long—as many of you know I'm also a struggling university student who has exams roll around, and I've pulled so many all nighters studying that it's slowly deteriorating my health :( Regardless, I'm finally on holiday now and making it a goal to write more chapters so I can post consistently even when school starts again!
I was supposed to post a chapter per week, so I could space them out evenly and give you guys another special chapter for Christmas, but at this rate I don't know if I can without them being too close together OTL What do you guys think? Would you guys still like to read it?
Anyway, let me know what you think! How do you feel about the story so far? Sorry it's moving a bit slowly, I have some pretty intense arcs coming up planned so you better BRACE YOURSELVES! Things get a little whack.
Please leave me comments! They make writing feel a lot more interactive (so I don't feel like I'm just talking to myself, haha) and really motivate me to write more :') HOPE YOU GUYS ARE ENJOYING THE STORY SO FAR AND I LOVE YOU ALL!