Please make sure to read the Author note at the bottom. See ya there!

~Edward~

The following week at school proved itself just as routine as many before. Somehow, I managed an A on my Chemistry test despite my distracted thoughts. Rosalie continued to look at me funny and I continued to dodge her questions.

It was unusually quiet around our home. Rose spent a lot of time out with friends… or pining for Emmett.

By Wednesday, I decided to put even more effort toward trying to move on and get back some normalcy in my life.

That morning in Math class, Garrett kept bringing up a party at Riley's house slated for Friday night.

"Hey, man? You wanna go? I can pick you up?" Garrett asked, turning toward me in his seat.

"Sorry, can't. Paper due next week." I replied distractedly. Please let it go.

"Dude. You need to lighten up and live a little. Senior year, baby." He shook his head before turning back around.

After his badgering, I let my gaze dwell out the window, noticing Bella Swan in my peripheral, eyeing me. I never paid that much attention to her before today. She was a pretty brunette with a nice smile; shy most of the time. I smiled kindly back. She blushed and looked away quickly, hiding behind her curtain of hair. I wondered if that was the first time she looked my way. Could I still be gay and find a girl attractive? Does it work like that? Could this mean I'm bisexual?

At lunch, I picked at my food. Garrett and Riley continued to speak of the upcoming party. I rolled my eyes when the conversation turned into a debate on which chick they wanted to hook up with. I let my eyes peruse the caf, contemplating each girl they objectified in their debate. All were attractive in their own way but not a one stood out to me. Maybe I wanted more. Maybe I wanted something different.

My attention soon targeted in on Alec Winters, the only person out and proud in the school. He didn't care if anyone knew his preferences. I wanted to talk with someone, and briefly thought that maybe Alec could help. Still unsure of my own status, I decided against it. What if it backfired and he told everyone. What if someone saw us talking and immediately deemed me as gay? I'm not sure I'm ready for that assumption.

Tired after school, I went straight to my room to lie down; thankful to have the house to myself. I threw my backpack on the floor beside my desk, noticing the pile of folded laundry on my bed. The brown plaid button-down I wore to the Torn concert last Friday lay on top. I picked it up and placed it to the side. After putting away the rest of the clothing, I again picked up the shirt, flopping myself on the bed. My thoughts soon turned to Jasper. I brought the shirt to my nose, longing for another breath of him, but regretfully found no lingering trace of his scent.

My vision fogged and I looked into those beautiful gray eyes. His sweet lips fit perfectly with mine in those desperate kisses we shared. His touch, so thorough. His tongue caressed my skin so intently. His mouth…

My pants became snug amongst these thoughts. They refused to shut down. I palmed my arousal in defeat. This act was not a regular occurrence for me, the urge never being held in the forefront of my mind. Maybe I'm not normal like other teenage boys, but at this moment, all I cared about was my impending release. I hurriedly removed my pants to relieve some pressure. Without thought I sat on my bed, my back resting against the headboard, my boxer briefs lay discarded on the floor.

He was ready to take me in his mouth again, I shook my head at him, asking for something more. I needed to please him in return this time. I looked at his beautiful erection, hard and ready. I reached a finger out and nervously chanced a small touch, his response of a hiss and eyes rolling back into his head, my reassurance. His hand took hold of mine and wrapped it around his length, my fingers just barely touching. He smirked at me while showing me how to play his body just right.

I grasped my swollen hardness and slowly pumped into my fist. The feeling not intense enough, I jumped out of bed in search of a lubricant to lessen the friction. My bathroom yielded a bar of soap in the shower that should help things along. My decision now made, I turned the shower on, adjusting the temperature for my comfort. I stepped in and let the water cascade over me. Grabbing the soap, I lathered my hand and started at my chest, my erection twitched when my fingertips ran over my nipples. Realizing this was a pleasurable feeling, I gritted my teeth while chancing a slight pinch. A long moan resonated through my bathroom.

Jasper licked the palm of his hand while continuing to smirk. He fisted my shaft and paid special attention to the head, which was leaking almost non-stop, adding to the bliss. My other hand grabbed the back of his head and I crushed my lips to his. His tongue entered my mouth, heaven. His taste, so real. Our foreheads met when the pleasure became too intense.

My eyes shut; I was pumping into my hand with abandon.

My stomach clenched and I knew my release was imminent, my only hope being that he was there with me. I looked at his face, uninhibited lust plainly evident. I whimpered as I felt warmth shoot onto my chest. His body tensed and he followed immediately after with a guttural groan.

I screamed his name, my orgasm hitting me like a freight train.

The weight of the past week crashed upon me and I fell to the floor of my shower. I sat there for an unknown amount of time hugging my knees to my chest, tears falling. I am gay. I have to be.

And the part that hurt most, I was unwanted.

A/N: First and foremost, thank you for reading this fic and leaving such great reviews. Reading your kind words make me feel all warm inside and lift me up when I'm down. Thanks for that!

Now some housekeeping on things that have been asked/suggested:

There will be a HEA, but these chapters are short and there will be a lot of them. Can't even guess as to how many, but hopefully you'll stick by me.

I know that I originally said this will be updated daily. I promise to finish this story, but there will be times that I can't update for a day or a few at a time. Real life and family will always come first as this is just an outlet. Speaking of, the next three days suck ass for me, so I will not have another update until Friday. Trust that this fic will complete!

Emmett is not against Jasper being gay. They are best friends and have been for years. Emmett stuck by Jasper through much of his past. He just doesn't agree with Jasper's actions. And again, it is a bit too close to home when Rose's brother is involved. Also, Emmett doesn't swing that way, so he'd rather not hear about Jasper's sex life. Sorry if I have made it sound like Emmett is not an anti-gay bigot. Far from it!

This story starts off in late September. We are currently at the beginning of October.

As for ages…

Edward – 17 (Senior in HS)

Jasper – 26

Rose – 21

Emmett (Torn's drummer, Jasper's best friend & Rose's bf) – 27

Peter (Torn's lead guitarist and backing vocals, also Jasper's cousin) – 24

Mike (Torn's bassist & Emmett's brother) – 22

Leah (Torn's manager) - 29