Sparkles in your eyes put the stars to shame
Story by Isobel and Fanny
I don´t know how about you people... but I love season 5 :o) Life is nicer when we have a new Bones episode every week again :o)
Just to warn you – I was in a kinda strange mood while writing this one… so sorry about it :o) If you see something really out of character or some real crap in this chapter, please, let me know :o) We would have to do something about it :o)
And - this chapter was written some time ago. There is a part that might remind you the "lack of sex conversation" from the last episode. Trust me - I had no idea that it would appear on the show...
And of course – I am sorry about the delay… I will try to do better next time :o) My beta already has the chapter 12 so I think that it could be up within a week :o)
Chapter 11 – Do you wanna talk about it?
Booth could not believe it. But he was really sitting on the bed, slowly getting undressed. What the hell was he doing?
Well it was not him who had started the game. Bones had been the one. She said those things to him. And she surely knew that he would not be able to say no and to take his eyes away from her.
This was completely crazy. He knew that it was only a game but he could not help it. The way Bones was looking at him… it was for sure one of those things that would be hunting him in his wild dreams. Yeah, of course he had been dreaming about her. He was just a guy after all.
His wicked mind started to torture him. Images of Bones coming to him, pressing him to the bed, helping him out of his clothes and then doing some nasty things to him… or letting him do those nasty things to her flooded his mind. He could not help it. And when he could very easily imagine himself taking her hand and dragging her to the bed, kissing her and not letting go, he had to mentally smack himself. This was not helping… not at all.
Bones was watching him. Well she was more staring at him than just watching him. And she knew that.
But Booth was not trying to seduce her, right? Or maybe she was trying to seduce him. No, that could not be… she was sure that she just wanted to help him with the plaster. Yes. And she needed him to pay attention to her, not to anybody who was on the phone. And she had her feminine side and that side had told her to start this little game. And Booth did exactly what she wanted him to do. But he added this little show of undressing and she was not counting with that in her plan…
Her lips were suddenly very dry. And the look in Booth's eyes made her knees go weak. That had not happened to her in a very long time.
All he needed to say was "come to bed" and she would obey, she would go there and let him to do whatever he would like to do with her… And the worst part of this was that she knew that she would have come… Her body was beginning her to go there, she could feel all the hormones rushing through her veins, the heat… Everything was indicating that she would gladly accept any kind of a pleasure that he would be able and willing to give her.
She could not think straight. She needed him and she knew. And she wanted him. She would not be satisfied with some random guy… she wanted Booth. And he looked like he wanted her too. She made one step towards him. And stumbled on the carpet. She fell onto her knees, everything she had been holding in her hands was suddenly around her, almost everywhere.
At first she was angry with herself but then she realized that this just saved her. If she hadn't fallen down she would have done something stupid. And it most probably would have started with a kiss…
Booth knew that he should get up by now, checking on her, helping her get up again, but he could not make himself get up. He needed to cool down. This little game they were playing had become too dangerous. He would have needed only a few more seconds to grab her and take her to bed. But that would have been wrong. And he knew that.
Bones was staring at the floor, trying to process everything that had happened. And when she was sure she would not embarrass herself, she got up.
Booth saw Bones getting up from the ground and he needed to swallow the lump that had appeared in his throat. She picked up all the things from the ground and then gave them to him with a smile.
And what could he do?
He smiled back at her.
"Hey are you all right?"
"Yes, I am fine. Thanks."
They were looking at each other for a moment. It was awkward. But then Bones tilted her head a bit and he smiled at her with the boyish grin.
They were okay once again.
Bones was a bit afraid that his sudden proximity would drive her crazy but so far it looked like she would be able to control herself. At least for some time. Well she hoped so.
Booth needed to grip the sheet on the bed. Otherwise his hands would try to travel… and those places where he would love to have them? Well he would get hurt after placing them there. Bones would have hurt him… oh yeah, it would be painful.
After some time Bones found her voice again.
"Who was it on the phone?"
"It was Caroline. She needed some information."
"Oh. Do you wanna call her back?"
"Nah, that's okay. She told me to have fun and that she would call later."
"You are going somewhere to have fun? You did not mention that you would be going somewhere…"
She looked confused. Oh yeah, Bones would always be Bones. She would be thinking and thinking and unable to see some messages relating to social things.
"Well, Bones, she did not mean it like that…"
"No?"
"No. She heard you…"
He gave her a chance to get the point by herself. And it took her only a minute to do so. She blushed a bit. But then she tilted her head again. Booth knew what that meant. She was thinking about something. Her squinty instincts kicked in and she was thinking…
"Well technically we are going to be together now and the bed is involved… so it can be considered as having fun. But you will most probably be in pain. And I am not certain if that is something you can enjoy in bed."
"I am not going to discuss this with you."
"I knew you would say that."
"What? What do you mean by that?"
"That I knew you would say that."
"Bones…"
He had a slight warning tone in his voice. He was usually using that to make her to explain something or to shut her up.
"You are not comfortable with talking about anything that could lead to your sex-life."
"My sex-life?"
"Yes. Like if you like the pain in bed. But I really seriously doubt that."
They both knew this was just a pile of crap. They knew. She was just teasing him, trying to push him to his limits. And he was trying to be a gentleman. Because otherwise he would pull her down and show her what he would like to do in bed… and maybe not only in bed.
They decided to drop the subject. It was just a silent agreement. She looked apologetically at him and he smiled at her in response.
He almost told her "I do not have any sex life" but thank god he stopped himself. She would have never dropped this one… and he did not need to hear about all her boyfriends and sex partners. He tried to recall all those guys he had the pleasure to meet and it made him angry to only think about them being with Bones in her bed.
He looked at her, she was standing next to the bed, reading something about the medicine he was supposed to get. And he understood one thing. All those guys just had sex with her. But he … he would be making love to her. And yeah, sure, the wild sex would eventually come as well… but not for the first time.
And that was exactly the reason why he was trying to keep cool tonight. This night was not the right one.
She looked at him. She looked certain of herself.
"Okay so let's do it. Move over."
He nodded. She was smiling and she looked content.
Booth moved on the bed so he was sitting there, almost on the edge. She sat down behind him and she folded her legs underneath her.
Booth was afraid of one thing. He was afraid that she would see and that she would understand about all the hidden pain. He was afraid that she would see all those scars on his back and then all those hidden ones inside him.
Bones was hesitating a bit. She had seen his back in the hospital and it looked bad. But she has seen a lot more often. And that looked bad as well.
She slowly took his shirt away. The sudden contact with his skin made her shiver. Well he was in no better state. She was supposed to pull her hands away from his shoulders but she left them there. Her thumbs were slowly trailing. And the only thing Booth could do was to close his eyes. She was driving him crazy once again.
He liked to feel her touching him.
She felt him relax.
That was the time when she finally looked down at his bare back. A very nice bare back to be precise. She wanted to trace every single muscle with her fingers. It was so tempting… But then she noticed the plaster and all her thoughts shifted back. She was supposed to take care of his wound, nothing more.
Bones could see many different scars on his back. She had noticed before that his chest was not as damaged as his back. She knew about all the broken ribs and problems, but nothing could leave a scar. At least not on the skin.
Before she was able to peel off the original plaster she needed some time. She was repeating to herself that she needed to breathe. She saw those visible scars. Some were obviously from a fire. Then there were scars made by a knife. And then she could see some small ones, like from shattered glass.
Booth felt her eyes on his skin. She was staring at him. He was trying not to move. She needed to get used to that view. He was hoping for some time that she would never see that. But now… His thoughts made him to think of something else as well. Once she would understand those scars on his skin… she would surely want to know about those that cannot be seen. But was he ready to share it with her?
The answer was yes.
Was she willing to take the risk to ask him? Well, now he was not so sure about the answer.
He would gladly share it all with her. But only in case she would be able to handle it. He would never hurt her. And telling her some of those things he has been carrying inside would surely hurt her.
Booth was almost certain that it would be the same with her in case she would decide to tell him some things about her childhood. Listening to her while she would be telling him stories about being hurt and scared… that would be pure torture.
Booth was trying to decide what to do when he heard her take in a sharp breath.
She had seen something she did not like…
Bones was sitting behind him, with all the medical supplies from the doctor, watching Booth's back, trying not to feel bad about it. All those scars meant pain. But one of them was a really bad one. The wound must have been bleeding a lot. And it was surely really painful. And when her mind was able to process the new information she understood. And she took a sharp breath. She was shocked. But only a bit because she had been trying being ready for any possibilities.
Booth was waiting for her to do something, to say something…
"Now it might hurt a bit, I am sorry."
She was not ready to talk about what she had seen just a moment earlier. She needed the time. And that meant working for Bones.
Booth was grateful that she hasn't picked up this particular moment to ask him. That would not be good. Not at all.
She peeled off the plaster with one swift motion. Booth winced and jerked away.
"Ouch!"
Booth turned around to look at her. He looked a bit offended.
"Don´t be a kid, Booth."
"That hurt!"
"Come on, even your son can handle something like this."
He gave her a very peculiar look. He looked offended a bit. But after a moment he turned his head back. When she took the antiseptic stuff to clean the wound again he winced. But they did not say anything. It simply had to hurt a bit and it had to be uncomfortable a lot.
Booth was thinking about this. He felt like being six again and waiting for his mother to patch him up after a fight or as he used to say after having an accident. But Bones had soft skin; her touch was calming and delicate. Her hands were warm on his back. He liked that feeling.
He was so deep in his thoughts that he did not even notice that Bones had put the new plaster on.
Bones was trying not to hurt him too much while changing the plaster. When she successfully managed to put it on she was pleased with herself.
Bones could feel the warmth of Booth´s body under her hands. And it was not some unpleasant feeling. Actually it was quite the opposite… it was a very pleasant feeling.
Booth was sitting on the bed patiently. He was expecting some questions… and he wanted to answer them all. But Bones was silent. He could not feel her even move…
Bones was trying to decide whether she wanted to ask him or not.
She traced the contours of the plaster with her fingers. And she could feel Booth shiver with that touch. He did not see that coming. She smiled again. Very slowly she lowered her head and gave him a feather light kiss on the plaster.
She had no idea why she did that.
Booth was not sure… was he in heaven? Or was this hell? He closed his eyes with determination not to do anything… this was all up to Bones. Yeah, he knew that "it took two to tango", but he cared too much… so he would let her lead this one.
Bones noticed that her hands were shivering a bit. She took a deep breath.
Bones moved her fingers over Booth´s bare back. She traced some other scars. She was taking her time. But she was silent. And that was something that made Booth a bit worried.
"Bones, talk to me, please…"
She traced all those scares again, back to the original point from where she had begun.
She picked a scar and placed a small kiss there.
"This one is approximately ten years old. The wound was made by something sharp and in one motion. I would suggest a knife with long and very sharp blade."
Booth was not sure about how to react. Of course she was right… But did she want to know how the scar had appeared?
She moved to another one… she caressed it with her fingers and placed a kiss there. And she repeated this several times. When she was describing scar number twelve she could not talk properly anymore. Booth could hear the fear in her voice. And he would swear that she was close to tears. Well she was not the only one.
"And this one was made by a scalpel, I know this for sure. They needed to cut here because they could not remove the bullet from the front. It has healed properly and it is almost not visible anymore."
She was close to tears and she knew. And so did Booth. He was about to do something when he felt her hand moving.
She was still sitting behind him but her fingers made their way to his chest. She placed them over one particular scar.
"And this one… was made by a bullet. But the bullet was meant for me…"
She broke into silent tears.
Booth could not take it anymore.
He clasped her hand into his. And when was about to say something she moved. She put her head onto his back. He could feel her tears on his bare skin. He has never felt anything like that. It was amazing and yet scary.
"How many of those scars do you have because of me, Booth?"
Her voice was almost a whisper but he could hear her. He was not sure about where she was heading with this…
"Not a single one, Bones."
"Liar."
And to prove her point she touched one of his scars.
"This is the one made by the fire when my fridge has exploded…"
She touched another scar but Booth stopped her.
"Don´t say anything, Bones."
"How many of these scars do you have because of me?"
"As I said, not a single one. None of these things was your fault."
She was listening to him but she could not accept it. It was like something in her was trying to block her ability to think clearly.
"Every scar you have is like a mark. I can count them and find out how many times you could have died…"
Booth was taken aback a bit.
He needed to cool down and think about it. It was her mother´s anniversary. And she was looking at his scars. She was counting them. Was she afraid…?
"Every scar on you has a story, right? Every one of them means that you have been put through some horrific experience…"
Booth was surprised. He would never ever have expected her to say that. She moved even closer to him, it was like she needed to touch him, to feel his warmth. Booth moved her hand on his chest to place it over his heart.
"Bones can you feel this?"
He felt her nod against his back after a minute or so.
"As long as this heart will be beating I am not going anywhere. Do you understand?"
She nodded again.
He let her cry for a minute and then he slowly turned around.
He was facing her, cupping her head in his palms. She was crying and he was not far away from doing the same.
She placed her hand over the small scar again.
"Bones we are not going through that conversation again."
"But…"
"No buts, Bones. Do not even start with it. I took the bullet and I would do the same anytime. I know the whole incident was awful, trust me, I know. But you have to stop thinking about it all the time."
He forced her to look into his eyes.
But he was not expecting her to be completely open with him. All her barriers were suddenly gone. She was Temperance, no more, no less. The woman who lost her mother when she had still been a child and who had faced it all alone. The woman who had been fighting for her life all the time. And she was the woman that could care so much about others that sometimes she did not know how to take care of herself.
"I am sorry, Bones… sorry. Come here."
He had no idea why he was apologizing but it simply fell like the right thing to do. She moved closer and let him hug her.
He managed to move them on the bed so they were half-sitting and half-lying on it. Bones had her head on Booth´s chest, exactly over his heart.
"Let go, Bones… just let go. Cry it all out… don´t worry…"
And she was not worried. He was there.
It took them about an hour until she started to slowly calm down. She was not crying anymore… the steady rhythm of Booth´s heartbeat was helping her to relax and gain some composure again.
Booth was slowly caressing her hair, holding her by his side, allowing her to be emotional. She would think about it later and she would surely find a way how to explain this situation. And she would be Bones again… But this time she would know that being emotional from time to time was not something bad.
He kissed her on the top of her head.
"Bones, do you wanna talk about this?"
"Do we have to do it now?"
"No, of course we don't…"
"Then no, I don´t want to talk about it. Not now."
"So we won´t."
"Thank you."
"That's okay Bones. It's okay."
She nodded. She closed her eyes. Before Booth notice what was going on, she had fallen asleep. He reached for the cushion from the bed to cover them both.
There would be time for talking. Later. She needed the sleep. Now.
I know I know… Booth and his scars. But honestly people – after everything he has been put through… have you ever noticed a single scar on his body? We got to see his chest and his back and there were no scars there… so in my story he had them on his back.
And I know that Bones is way too emotional but somehow I did not know how else to write the chapter… Originally there was supposed to be more in this chapter but I have decided to leave it like this… and write another one from the rest… so before you will scream for my scalp, gimme a chance to fix it in the next chapter :o) And maybe in the chapter 13 as well... :o) We will see :o)
So what do you think? :o)
And huge thanks to my beta :o))
And because I couldn't leave you without giving you at least one link… here we are :o) h*t*t*p*:*/*/*n*d*0*1*.*b*l*o*g*.*c*z*/*8*1*5*/*5*0*8*/*7*4*b*9*9*d*3*2*b*d*_*5*1*9*9*9*1*5*2*_*o*2*.*j*p*g