Um. Excessive use of F-bombs ahead. Don't review if you don't read. Rated M. You've been warned.
This was actually a request from a friend of mine. Who happens to live in Georgia. (Hi, if you're reading this.)
I really should have replaced "f-" with "kiss", though...it's less scarring. But it's more funny.
-Ish.
Nice and long, and I hope that it's funny. Make up for the presidential thing last chapter.
Damn Hurricane Sandy. I had this written up on Wednesday, but the freaking Internet wasn't cooperating. Stupid cable. And then, right when I finished all of it, I couldn't get on the computer for another two weeks.
Yeeeaaah. So heading onwards, this will be a storyline, not a stand-alone. Don't know how long it will last, but probably about four parts or more, because to commemorate the rapidly approaching twentieth anniversary season of PR, I'm going to include every season up to Dino Thunder, because as you all know, this takes place in 2004. But if you want to see some other future Rangers pop in, PM me or ask me in a review, and I'll…time-travel them or something.
No Hunter, Blake, or Cam in this one. I have the all the Dinos and the first MMPR crew popping in. It's getting confusing. I guarantee you, though, that the Thunders and the Samurai will be in here in the next chapter.
May 11
lionzord has logged on.
waterninja246 has logged on.
lionzord: OMG. Tori. I have to ask you a VIQ!
waterninja246: VIQ?
lionzord: Very Important Question!
waterninja246: Is it right for me to be considering running away right now with my tail between my legs?
lionzord: I never knew that you had a tail. CAN I SEE IT?
waterninja246: …It was a total figure of speech. And do you know how wrong that sounded?
lionzord: Nah. Is it spotted or banded?
waterninja246: I told you that it was a figure of speech! I don't have a tail!
lionzord: Awwwwww…c'mon, Tori, you had me hanging there for a sec... :(
waterninja246: So, what was it that you wanted to tell me? :D
lionzord: Would you be mad if I killed you?
redwindranger has logged on.
redwindranger: Duuuuude! Don't kill Tori; you should totally kill Kelly! And marry Marah, I agree with you on that, but then, you'd have to fuck Tori...and that's just weird...
lionzord: Told you.
waterninja246: SAY WHAT?!
lionzord: Oh, look, now you've made her mad. I told you that I should kill Tori.
redwindranger: ...Well...that's your decision. I think that you're nuts.
waterninja246: OKAY, LOOK, DUMBASSES, I AM NOT BEING FUCKED OR SCREWED BY ANYONE! NOT EVEN A CRAZY NINJA TERMINATOR!
lionzord: Crazy ninja terminator? Dude! Tori! That's something that I'd say! You're turning into me! EXCELLENT!
waterninja246: *Turns around to throw up in metal bucket* Oh, lord...
redwindranger: Does that mean that you'll make out with Dustin?
waterninja246: Do I look like I'd cheat on Blake?
redwindranger: Well...you never know...you know?
lionzord: Nah, Tori'd never cheat on Blake. Right, Tori? Please say "yes" for me!
waterninja246: I'm saying "yes" because it's true that I wouldn't! Where the hell did you get this rotten idea from, anyways?
redwindranger: See, there's this thing on Tumblr—which is undoubtedly the best thing ever created by mankind, after Pac-Man, of course—that gave you three people who you could either marry, kill, or screw/fuck, right?
waterninja246: .
.
.
.
.
Dustin? Fuck me?
No. Kill me. Now.
lionzord: HA! SHE AGREES WITH ME! IN YOUR FACE! :D
redwindranger: Yeah, but then, that leaves you with fucking Kelly, and she'd never forgive you in a million years.
lionzord: We can get drunk, and then forget all about it.
redwindranger: Yeah, good luck with getting Kelly drunk. I don't think that she's ever touched even beer in her life.
waterninja246: You guys are so. Weird. I would have said "f-ing weird", but I really don't want to mention that word again.
lionzord: What, fuck?
waterninja246: Yes. NOW SHUT UP!
redwindranger: Well, Tori, I have a question for you.
Kill/Marry/Fuck: me, Dustin, and Blake.
waterninja246: SOMEBODY GET ME OUT OF THIS HELLHOLE!
Okay!
Kill you and Dustin in the most horrendous way possible and marry Blake. No contest.
lionzord: You have to fuck someone!
waterninja246: ...No. Just no.
redwindranger: Define "horrendous", please.
waterninja246: Okay, here goes.
I'll douse you and Dustin in gasoline, set you on fire, and then drop-kick you off of the Empire State Building from the six-hundredth floor, even though there are only a hundred and two floors, but that's the point. Then, you'll land in the Hudson River, or get smashed into a grease spot at the intersection of Fifth Avenue and West 34th Street, and that'd be the end of you guys, and you'd get stepped on for the rest of infinity. But if you land in the Hudson River—which, by the way, is really polluted—water is so not your element, and you'll be stunned by the impact, if your bones don't break, and that'll give me time to work with you! :D
Oh, and you'll also be covered in burns because of the fire.
lionzord: But that means our clothes...
waterninja246: MOVING ON! So after you're in the river, I'll propel you through the river—underwater, of course—until you two asphyxiate, and I'll leave you to rot at the bottom of the river as fertilizer and food for the fishies.
redwindranger: Whoa...
lionzord: Yeah, Tor, are you sure you aren't on a hating spree? I mean, you would make a good serial killer or something...
waterninja246: First off, I couldn't be a serial killer using that method because it isn't efficient.
redwindranger: Dustin. Let's walk slowly away from Tori. Now.
waterninja246: Certainly. With you guys, I am. Because I don't plan on fucking anyone, or marrying anyone right now, for the matter, but I do plan on killing you two. Speaking of which, WHY DO YOU EVEN PAY ATTENTION TO THIS KILL/MARRY/FUCK SHIT?
lionzord: LOL...
trexdude has logged on.
technoblue has logged on.
yellowptera has logged on.
redwindranger: DINO DUDES! JUST WHO I WANTED TO SEE! CONNER, ETHAN, KILL/MARRY/FUCK KELLY, MARAH, AND TORI!
waterninja246: Kira. Get me out of here. Now. Or I'll kill you.
yellowptera: Sorry, Tori, I have no clue what's going on here, but it doesn't sound good.
waterninja246: Exactly! Help me!
trexdude: I don't know who Kelly or Marah are, so I'll kill Kelly, fuck Marah, and marry Tori. :)
waterninja246: #!%! #%$! %
yellowptera: I feel your pain, Tor...Conner, your husband? Ew...
trexdude: C'mon, babe, you know you're in love with me.
yellowptera: Shut up. I am not. AND DON'T CALL ME "BABE!
trexdude: I wasn't talking to you.
yellowptera: Good...well, not-so-good...
waterninja246: COME AGAIN?!
lionzord: I think that you're in denial...*Says in sing-song tone*
technoblue: I'll stay on the sidelines for this one. Sorry. Don't want two outraged female Rangers and this Kelly and Marah cutting me up into 101 pieces and scattering me into the ocean.
redwindranger: Dude, you're just ruining the fuuuuuun...
TommyOliver has logged on.
trexdude: Oh. Shit.
TommyOliver: What.
Are.
You.
Guys.
Talking.
About.
lionzord: Ummmmm...K/M/F?
TommyOliver: Which is...?
waterninja246: Ha, ha...u guys r in 4 it.
technoblue: What's with the texting lingo?
yellowptera: I didn't do anything!
techonoblue: I didn't say anything.
redwindranger: Me? Oh. Nuh uh.
lionzord: Yeah, right.
trexdude: I plead the fifth.
TommyOliver: I have yet to find an answer.
waterninja246: I'll give you an answer.
yellowptera: I'll be her support group! Er, to say, person.
trexdude: No, Kira, Tori, it's okay...you know...
lionzord: Yeah, I'll give you cookies!
TommyOliver: Well?
waterninja246: K/M/F is Kill, Marry, and—
redwindranger: Tori. Be a good little doggie and shut up.
waterninja246: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?
redwindranger: I'm outta here.
redwindranger has logged off.
lionzord: Me toooooo! BRO! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE TO GET KILLED!
lionzord has logged off.
trexdude: Um...wait up!
trexdude has logged off.
TommyOliver: What…just happened? Who's still here? Tori, Kira, and...?
technoblue: I feel loved.
And I swear to Mars and beyond, I didn't participate!
yellowptera: But I wanted to see them killed...
waterninja246: Oh, they will be. Trust me.
technoblue has logged off.
yellowptera: Oh, look, you scared Ethan away.
TommyOliver: So...does the "F" stand for what I'm thinking of?
waterninja246: What, fuck?
tyrannomorph has logged on.
TommyOliver: ...I never asked that question.
tyrannomorph: Oh, hi, Tommy! I heard that you're the Black Dino Ranger, right?
yellowptera: ...Conner?
waterninja246: GET OVER HERE, YOU ASSHOLE!
tyrannomorph: ...I'm not Conner, whoever he is...I'm Jason. Jason Lee Scott.
waterninja246: Oh.
Sorry.
I'll just...go and die in a hole now.
waterninja246 has gone invisible.
yellowptera: LOL :)
TommyOliver: Jason? What are you doing on here?
tyrannomorph: Because I wanted to join in the chat! It sounds interesting!
TommyOliver: Jason, I think that you've gone nuts.
yellowptera: Hey, Jason, I'm Kira! Uh, Yellow Dino Ranger! Do you have any other pictures with Tommy and his mullet?
TommyOliver: IT WAS IN STYLE BACK THEN! FOR THE LAST TIME!
tyrannomorph: Yeah, LOL, which is why you were the only one of us that had a mullet. :D
Oh, and if I'm nuts, what are you? A paleontologist? None of us ever thought that you would "settle down"!
And, Kira, I'd be happy to send you some pictures. :)
TommyOliver: JASON!
yellowptera: Yes! Thanks!
Hahahahahahaha: blackmail, Dr. O!
tyrannomorph: Tommy, you do know that the whole crew is coming, right?
TommyOliver: Wait...WHAT?!
yellowptera: YES! MORE BLACKMAIL! :D
waterninja246 has become visible.
waterninja246: I know, right?
Damn, I wish I was on your team...
Taurus53 has logged on.
tyrannomorph: Come to join the party?
waterninja246: Who are you...?
Taurus53: Zack Taylor. Original Black Mighty Morphin' Ranger.
yellowptera: AWESOME!
TommyOliver: NO! NOT AWESOME!
Taurus53: ...
Hey, Tommy, I heard that you're a paleontologist now...what's up with that?
TommyOliver: How did you find out about this?
yellowptera has logged off.
TommyOliver: KIRA!
TommyOliver has logged off.
Taurus53: LOL.
tyrannomorph: I know, right?
morphinpink has logged on.
BlueWolfNinjetti has logged on.
chilidogsunite has logged on.
tyrannomorph: And the fun begins! :D
lionzord has logged on.
waterninja246: If you define "fun", Jason, maybe I'll stay. I'll stay if fun means that I get to kill Dustin.
yellowptera has logged on.
yellowptera: Is Dr. O here? 'Cause if he isn't, I'm helping Tori.
Conner and Dustin must die. Now.
morphinpink: Um, hello? Who are you?
chilidogsunite: I don't know...
BlueWolfNinjetti: Violent and homicidal maniacs.
yellowptera: ARE NOT!
waterninja246: I couldn't agree with you more, Kira.
tyrannomorph: Sure. Kill Conner and Dustin. Why not?
morphinpink: Jason...
lionzord: DUDE! THAT'S NOT FUN! COME ON...!
waterninja246: You are so dead, Waldo.
waterninja246 has logged off.
yellowptera: And Conner. Don't forget about Conner.
yellowptera has logged off.
lionzord has logged off.
To be continued...