I wish I could say we made progress with my control of the whole magic thing, but we didn't. If anything, it's worst than it was. Everything that I touched instantly froze so Papa gave me special thick white gloves that I was expected to wear all the time. They don't bother me that much except for the fact that I can't feel anything. It took some time to adjust to it but I learned to be patient in the past two years while I was in my room studying old tales in research for a solution or at least some help. Anna still came from time to time. Mostly when it was snowing, she would knock at my door asking if I wanted to play or build a snowman. I never answered though. I kept saying to myself "Conceal. Don't feel. Don't let it show." and it helped me to keep her safe. Papa and I came up with this idea together, something I could think of or say that would remind me why I am doing this and why it's imperative to do so. I feel like my childhood has stopped when I chose to occupy mainly my room. It, my childhood, has gone to some other land since I became "too mature for my age", like Mama says. She has taken this whole thing harder than I did. I assume that as a mother, it's a great pain to see that your child has to grow up without living life to its full extent. She does come to me every night to read stories and act with them in an theatrical manner. She even includes me and Papa sometimes. That is the moment of the day that I like the most. The one I look forward to every day. In the morning, I usually practice without gloves to try and control something or search for a trigger. Most of these moments are spent with Papa or Andrea but they always stay far from me in case something happens. In the afternoon, I sometimes go outside on a balcony that my dad reserved strictly to me and that is just across the corridor. If not, I go to our gigantic library and pick up tales to study. I have read 68 books so far this year and still haven't found any that had this sort of magic described in it. I was tired, even exhausted I would say. But I had a reason to do it. I wanted to live but the condition was to keep others safe and I was determined to honor that promise even tho I seemed to be running out of time. At least I didn't run out of life…yet.
That night, my sleep was agitated and I was awaken by the hardness of my pillow when I turned on my back. I quickly opened my eyes and raised myself on one elbow. Instinctively, seeing what I had done, I raised my hand to my mouth and started crying. I had frozen my pillow and parts of my bed…WITH my gloves on. My sobs were getting louder and my parents burst into the room a couple of minutes later. I froze a part of the wall in the process of moving further away from them. They tried to hug me but I backed away.
-I'm scared, it's getting stronger!