Ok, I lied when I said that this chapter would be up in the next few weeks. I'm am so very very sorry. I finished writing and proof reading it a week ago but I was staying with friend down at her farm and I didn't have Internet there so it was impossible for me to update this story. I'm on holidays now and I am almost done writing the final chapter for this story.
Best Easter wishes!
Chapter 11:
On my request, the dwarves were able to stay for a few days and they would be leaving tomorrow night. They all seemed quite relieved to have a bit of a rest before returning home. I don't think any of them came on horses, meaning they walked, and I thought the journey to Rivendell from Erebor on horseback was long. I cannot even imagine what it would've been like on foot.
Well, actually, I could but that was travelling to the mountain. People have told me that to and from journeys are both very different from each other and I must agree. One way always seems quicker.
I spent most of my time during those few days with the dwarves, whether it be dining with them during the day or smoking with them at night. They all seemed quite happy to see me talking with them, to be honest. Like a sense of relief lay over them.
The elves of Lothlórien left on the second day of the dwarves stay and I stood with Lord Elrond as he thanked them for coming and wishing them all safe travels back to their home. Haldir was one of the last of their party to be bid goodbye and Lord Elrond said farewell to him in much detail, for they had been good friends for many years. Elrond wished good fortune upon him and told Haldir to give his best to Celeborn and Galadriel. Haldir nodded his head stoically before turning to me.
I didn't say anything to him and just stood there, stiff and unmoving. Haldir shifted his right hand forward and grasped mine in his before lifting it to his lips and kissing it softly. I felt myself gulp and he dropped my hand almost instantly after removing his lips from it. Haldir gave me a neutral goodbye and a smile before turning to mount his white horse and leaving with his fellow elves.
Elrond and I stand there for a few minutes, slowly watching the elves leave Rivendell and journey out of the Vally. I don't know how to feel about them leaving. I feel alone but in another light I am glad that the attention is off me. It totally depends on how I'm feeling. I remember when I was I prisoner in Mirkwood that all I wanted was to provoke Thranduil and Legolas, now though I want to do the exact opposite. I want to crawl into a hole away from prying eyes.
I must have shown something in my features because I feel a hand on my shoulder and I turn to see Lord Elrond staring at me with concerned eyes. I grimace and lower my gaze. I forget manners and turn to leave Elrond with my face downcast.
Elrond doesn't move to follow me and I am glad. I walk quickly through his home and move to find his extensive library. When I reach it, I set out to find a book of sonnets written by an old elven man. He wrote a series of them a few millennia ago. My father and mother were very old - perhaps double my age - but even they didn't know the author.
Many of the stanzas on the page speak of love and devotion. They enchant me as I read them over and over. The author speaks so poetically about his lover and it makes me smile slightly as I turn the pages. One catches my eye:
O, speak again, bright angel! For thou art
As glorious to this night, being o'er my head
As is a winged messenger of heaven
Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes
Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him
When he bestrides the lazy puffing clouds
And sails upon the bosom of the air.
I hear the undying love in this stanza; they way he tells me about his lover's voice alone is beautiful. I want this. I want someone to think this of my voice when I speak. It is not just the description but the way the author has worded this stanza. It is so breezy and lovely. It fills me with something I cannot explain.
I must've sat in Elrond's library for a rather long time because when I look up, I see that the sun is beginning to set. The day went very quickly. I did not mean for it to slip away from me that fast. I meant to spend time with the dwarves today. I mentally scold myself and set the book down carelessly before rushing out of the library.
My hair bounces as I go and I push it out of the way before continuing on running through Elrond's home. I wasn't really thinking about anything apart from reaching the dwarves. I, at least, want to spend a few hours with them before I go to bed.
As I turn a corner, I bang into someone. "Ow!" I shout as we both topple over. I fall on top of the elf before recovering myself and looking down at who ever it is. Under me is Lindir. I stare at him for a second and take in his face. His eyes are wide and his mouth is open, breathing roughly. My expression matches his and I push myself up to my feet hastily before extending a hand to help Lindir up.
"I am sorry, Lady Nadriel." He apologises, almost breathlessly. "I did not mean to-" I cut him off.
"Do not worry, Lindir." I insist. "It was my fault and I am fine. Are you alright?"
"Yes, yes." He tells me brusquely. "No need to worry yourself. Where were you going in such a hurry, if I may ask?"
"I was on my way to see our guests." I respond. "I meant to spend some time with them." I do not know why but as soon as I say those words I regret them greatly. "I just thought it would be rude if I didn't at least say hello today. Besides, they're leaving tomorrow and..." I trail off. I don't know what I was going to add and Lindir looks at me with a funny expression in his face.
"Well, then I mustn't keep you." He says quickly, beginning to walk away. "I am sorry for holding you up."
He has turned his back before I can respond.
With the sun setting behind the Valley, the receding light fills Elrond's home with a warm luminance and I slow my stride to take it all in. I have lived here for over two millennia but the sight of the sun setting over my home still makes me look at the horizon in wonder.
As I get closer and closer to where the dwarves dwell, I begin to hear their laughter and rough voices. Finally, I turn a corner and see my friends sitting down with their swags and pipes, laughing and singing with each other. Thorin, of course, is sitting with his back against the wall, paying no attention whatsoever to his friends though I do see a small smile playing on his lips. He is sitting at the edge of the cluster by himself, closest to me.
Silently, I walk over to him and sit down beside him. Thorin turns his head to me as I take my place next to him but he doesn't move away. He gives me the slightest of smiles and I try to return it. I have been trying to ignore him as much as I could, even last night when we were all talking I tried to keep my answers short and unemotional but I don't think it was working. Now it most definitely isn't.
As much as I want to hate him, I can't.
"It is a surprise to see you as you usually are." Thorin tells me cautiously. "Dressed in female clothes; obeying your lord. It is a sight to see. I remember when you said you would never take an order from any man, yet here you are."
"Lord Elrond has earned my respect and therefore I owe him mine." I answer. "There is a difference between being defiant and asking for respect. I simply want respect. Why do you think I teased Legolas so much?" I pause, feeling wary. "And Thranduil."
"I think you did more than tease him." Thorin tells me, smiling. "You down right hurt him."
"And he deserved it." I say, exasperated. "Besides, he was asking for it. He should be happy that was all I did."
"I must agree with that."
Silence falls between us and I feel his gaze on me. I turn to him with a neutral expression. We just stare at each other for a few moments before I turn away. I look ahead of me, not thinking about anything in particular but my head snaps up as I hear a flute begin to play. The dwarves begin to cheer and I see that Bofur has begun to play. I feel my lips raise and I begin to smile.
Kili drags Fili to his feet and they begin to dance with each other. They link arms and spin around, kicking over beds and cooking apparatus as they go. I begin to laugh and I hear Thorin's deep chuckle at the sight.
"It would seem that through all this, your nephews still haven't lost their childish side." I say.
"It would seem so." Thorin responds.
"I'm glad, to be honest." I say, pausing to look back at the dancing brothers. "I hope that they both keep the childish side for the remainder of their days." There is no response for a few moments.
"You know," Thorin begins. "They both would've died if you weren't there. Both their injuries were too server to fix with just our medicine." I turn to Thorin, frowning. "Both of them were on their death beds which is why I ordered those curtains to be put up. They would not have survived if you hadn't saved them. For that I have to thank you."
"They're my friends. I don't turn my back on friends." I respond. "Besides, you won't be around forever and I'd much rather see them on the throne of Erebor than anyone else."
"That is a good point."
"I would see the Durin's on the throne for the remainder of my days if I had a say in it."
"And that I most definitely agree with." Thorin chuckles.
The song is still going on around us but I pay little attention to the melody. "I didn't know you could smoke, Nadriel." I turn to Thorin, smiling.
"I learnt from Bofur, when we were on the mountain." I say. "I couldn't sleep one night and I stayed up with him and he taught me."
"How do you find it?"
"Relaxing to say the least." I reply. "It's probably not a good habit to get into but it's nice and I don't see why I didn't pick it up earlier on in my life. Besides, elves are immortal and we do not fall under illness easily. So I don't see why not." Thorin chuckles with me for a moment. "Lord Elrond is not holding dinner tonight for you all so you will be left to your own devices for food."
"That is alright. We have not come unprepared."
"Would you like me to stay and dine with you or not?" I ask Thorin. "I do not care either way."
"You are welcome to stay." Thorin says. "It is your home. Your lord told us that if you wanted us gone than we would have to leave so I don't think we get a say in your comings and goings."
XXX
Once the sun is completely down, Gloin, Bifur, Bombur and Nori begin to prepare a camp fire. They get it lit very quickly and I begin to wonder where they got the wood from. I don't really want to know, I realise, seeing as the only wood I know of around here is from the trees around Rivendell. I don't question the notion any further.
The dwarves hang a kettle over the flames and the water inside it begins to boil. Bofur has stopped playing music to cook with his brothers and Gloin. Sausages are placed over the fire in a saucepan and they sizzle loudly as Bofur swishes them around in oil.
They cook quickly and I see Nori fetch plates from satchel in a far corner. Bombur, it seems, does not care for cutlery and is eating out of his hands. I chuckle at the sight before turning to grab the plates from Nori. I set them down in front of the fire to warm them before Bofur begins to dish out the food.
He hands me the full plates and I divvy them up between the dwarves. Each of them take the food greatly and thank me before digging in. I sit back down and Bofur hands me a plate full of sausages, bacon and potatoes.
Well, it's better than no vegetables at all.
All the dwarves seem to eat ravenously. Around me, only the sound of loud and grotesque chewing can be heard and I chuckle softly to myself as I take small mouthfuls of my food at a time. I eat with my fingers as the dwarves didn't bring knives and forks but I don't really mind. I lean back and look into the fire as I subconsciously bring food to my mouth.
As the night wears on and dinner finishes, the dwarves begin to sing ballads. I listen intently to their low harmonies. I recognise their song.
Far over the misty mountains cold
To dungeons deep and caverns old
We must away ere break of day
To seek the pale enchanted gold.
The pines were roaring on the height,
The winds were moaning in the night.
The fire was red, it flaming spread;
The trees like torches blazed with light.
In a midst of pipe smoke and deep voices, I feel myself close my eyes. All their voices are extraordinarily low and harmonious together. I could fall asleep to it. My pipe is in my hand, unlit, and I begin to sway slightly as the dwarves hum deeply.
When the song ends, I open my eyes back up and silence falls around us. I feel someone sit down next to me and I turn to see Fili, a pipe in his mouth. He smiles warmly at me and I return it.
"Do you need me to light that for you?" He asks me, nodding is head towards my pipe. I chuckle.
"Yes, that would be lovely." Fili reaches into his jacket and produces a match which he ignites on his teeth.
The tobacco catches alights and I begin to smoke. We both remain silent as we puff our pipes together. The dwarves around us continue to hum other songs as we smoke.
"You all make lovely music." I say softly to Fili and I see him smile as he blows out a thick cloud of smoke. "I would have you sing for me everyday for me if I could." Fili chuckles.
"I would gladly do that for you." He tells me.
"I think you have better things to do with your time." I pause. "How have you been, Fili? You look far more fatigued than the last time I saw you."
"I've been busy." He says. "Thorin is dead set on me taking lessons from all manner of different teachers about the history of the mountain."
"Well, that seems fair." I say. "He is simply prepping you for kingship. That's all. It'll get far harder when you are crowned." Fili grimaces. "Something else is bothering you, isn't it?" He nods.
"Thorin has also told me to begin considering a wife." He says in a dead tone before turning to me, frowning.
"It can't be that bad." I concede. "Marriage isn't a terrible thing. I've heard there are many good things that come of it."
"Marriage isn't a problem for me." He explains slowly. "It is who I'll marry."
"Thorin is not going to force you into an unwanted marriage with someone you don't love."
"He's not interested in love." Fili shifts his gaze downwards. "He's interested in heirs."
"He already has two." I say, my brows creased in thought. "You and your brother. He cannot force more upon you after what you have just been through."
"He is not forcing it upon me." Fili says. "He simply wants me to consider a wife."
"I sure you have women lining up for you." I say. "Even by my standards you are handsome. You will have no trouble finding someone."
"I do not want anyone that is vying for my attention." Fili tells me. "The one woman I do want, however, is out of my reach. She is astoundingly beautiful, brave, smart, witty, bold... She is everything I want but can never have."
I place my hand on his cheek and lift his chin. He looks almost scared. I smile at him gently.
"You will find her equal." I say softly. "I am sure of it. She is out there."
"No, she is next to me." I retract my hand from his face and stare at him. Something goes off in my head, like an alarm, and I begin to try to distance myself from Fili. "I'm sorry. That was very blunt." He says quickly, lifting his arm to bring me back. I stop my movements and begin to stare at him again. My face must portray a look of terror because I feel it coursing through me "You look like a rabbit caught in a snare, Nadriel." Fili looks as scared as I feel. I just shake my head at his comment.
"Would you excuse me for a moment?" I don't wait for his response and I get up, leaving the room with haste, taking my pipe with me.
When I am out of earshot and eyeshot of the dwarves I feel a soft sound leave my throat, somewhere between a growl and a sigh. Have I been leading him on all this time? I don't want to do that at all. I'm sure I said that I didn't want anything between us even though it wasn't directly said. Balin's words come back to me then: "Love is selfish, milady... It does as it pleases and does not care for bloodlines."
Perhaps his feelings aren't unwanted. My mind says. Or perhaps you just like the attention. My mother always told me there is a difference between liking someone and liking the attention they give you. I don't truly feel anything astronomical towards Fili and it makes me sad. I want him to be happy - I want all the dwarves to be happy - and the one thing I can do to make him happy is a task I cannot perform. Fake it? No, that involves me leaving my home to marry him. Besides he would know. Elves fall in love once and it shows in the way we hold ourselves. They're leaving tomorrow. I won't have to see them again. That's sounds horrible but his love for me will diminish over our parted years. Maybe I can visit him later on once he's married with children. That would be a beautiful sight.
I stay standing at Elrond's balcony for a while, looking up at the stars and smoking. It's rather calming but I decide to head back to the dwarves seeing as it seems a bit rude to leave them. When I reach them, they are all still smoking and the fire has died down quite a bit. They all seem a bit sleepy, in their mood, I mean. I do not see them sleeping anytime soon.
When I re-enter their dwellings, I stand there for a few moments before sitting down next to Kili. Well, he's lying down but he moves around when I take my seat next to him. He smiles kindly at me before letting out a cloud of smoke. The dwarves around us are far quieter now and I am grateful. Kili and I don't speak but it is not awkward. I lean my head back against the wall and close my eyes.
"Tired?" Kili asks me softly and I open my eyes before nodding. "You are welcome to leave whenever you like."
"It's as if you don't want me here." I say quietly in a sleepy voice. It really is late and I should've been in bed hours ago. I don't think I can be bothered to walk back to my house.
"Of course we do." I smile softly at him before leaning my head back against the wall. "Fili has missed you, Nadriel. You have taken ahold on his mind."
"That was never my intention." I say, sighing with exhaustion. "I want him to be happy but I do not love him. It is a one way feeling. It is the one thing I cannot do to make him happy."
"You seem to worry about everyone but yourself." Kili tells me, sighing. "Why is that?"
"My body and mind is simply a home. I do not care for it unless I have to. I cannot give you a better answer."
Kili does not respond and I do not speak again. The night air is cool and the dwarves begin to settle in for the night in their swags. Bifur throws water onto the dying fire and it goes out almost instantly, steam and smoke wafting up from the embers.
I don't think I am going to make it home tonight.
"I don't have the energy to move." I say sleepily, not expecting an answer. Kili seems to have moved from my side and I see that he has made his way over to his brother before lying down next to him. Fili, however, stays sitting up for a few minutes, his legs and waist inside his swag. I close my eyes before slinking further down the wall until I'm lying down on my side. With the cool wind blowing around me I curl up into a ball to keep in body heat. My dress is thicker today than last night though it doesn't do much good against the cold.
Elves aren't really fit for the cold.
I begin to shiver subtly and I wrap my arms around myself. Just as I am about to get up and retreat to my warm bed, something is placed over my half-unconscious form and I feel someone sit down by my head. My skull is lifted and is placed softly back down onto something soft. I nuzzle down into whatever it is and sigh as warmth begins to fill me. I feel fingers begin to stroke my scalp softly and I feel myself drifting off in the most pleasant sleep I've had in a long time.
XXX
I don't wake up until early the next morning, fingers still in my hair and soft snoring above me. When I open my eyes, I see my hand resting on a knee and realise my head is lying in a lap. I am too tired to think about who's body I am on and I close my eyes again, sighing.
This is what I imagine waking with a lover to be like. Warm and soft.
Even with the loud snoring around me, I fall back asleep quickly and I fade off into my own head. I pull myself tighter against who I'm leaning on and begin to dream. When I wake again, fingers are caressing my hair. I moan softly at the sensation and nuzzle into the warmth of the lap I'm on. I hear a soft, warm chuckle above me but I ignore it. I still hear snoring around me but I groggily open my eyes. The fingers moving against my scalp become a tad bit more insistent, making my eyes close again subconsciously.
"Good morning, Nadriel." A voice above me whispers softly and I turn onto my back to see who it is. I fight against the lovely feelings on my scalp and slowly open my eyes again. My vision blurs for a moment but the person above me comes into view quickly. Fili's golden beard and hair comes into my vision. I see his warm smile and I form a small grin myself. I notice then that his jacket is draped over my body.
"Good morning, Fili." I say in a soft, raspy voice. My morning voice is coming out loud and clear. I lift my hands to rub my eyes and I begin to stretch out my back. "What time is it?" I whisper.
"Only about nine in the morning."
"Did I wake you?"
"You were wriggling a little bit earlier." He informs me quietly. "I think you may have been dreaming."
"I'm sorry." I yawn. "I did not mean to wake you up."
"Do not worry yourself." Fili tells me, beginning to stroke my hair again. I close my eyes at the contact before something goes off in my head.
This isn't right. I shouldn't be leading him on like this.
I sit upright then, turning to face Fili with wide eyes. "What's wrong?" His voice is still very hushed as to not wake is companions. I look around nervously before turning back to him.
"I don't want to lead you on, Fili." I whisper. "It wouldn't be fair to you. I don't return what you feel for me. I want to because I want you to be happy and I know that my love would but it is the one task I cannot perform for you. You've got me between a rock and a hard place."
"You have done more for me and my brother than I could've ever ask for, Nadriel." He says to me, scooting closer subtly. "You said to my brother's love in Mirkwood that if someone truly loved her than he would let her go because it is what she wanted. He would not force his feelings unto her because he would see that she did not see him in that light. I know that you do not see me that way. I have fought with myself over it every night before coming here. I thought to myself, if I saw you once more, even for a small amount of time, I would be satisfied for a little while. It is not true. Your face, your smell, your voice seems to hang in the air where ever I am and I cannot get you out of my head, no matter how hard I try. You have been injected into me and I cannot get you out."
I stare at Fili, dumbfounded at his declaration. I do not know how to respond at all and I feel something inside my crack under the strain of my emotions. I cannot say anything to that but I need to. If I don't then I will look heartless.
You are heartless, Nadriel.
"Please don't run from me this time, Nadriel." Fili says. "I know that you will reject me but I would much rather you say it than show it. Perhaps if you say the words then you will leave my head."
"I..." What do I say? That I'm not good with affection? That I can't be with him because of his title? The truth. Something says. But the truth hurts and he does not deserve harshness from me or anyone. Frustration begin to bloom in my brain. They are words. He said he wanted to hear them. Something screams back. That doesn't mean I want him to hear them. My brain growls. Say it! I clench my fists.
"It is nothing I haven't told myself before, Nadriel."
"I don't want to hurt you, Fili." I say. "You are kind and brave and you do not deserve my harshness." I pause. "I am weak, Fili. I cannot let those words leave my mouth because I know they will cause you harm but I know that you will move on. You will marry a lovely woman and she will bare you strong, healthy, dwarvish sons and daughters. She will love you dearly and you her. She will rule by your side while you raise your children and prepare you sons for kingship." I take a deep breath. "I cannot do that for you. Whatever you would think I feel for you would be a show, a charade. I cannot give you heirs, nor dwarvish children. I cannot do what you desire of me. My blood is complicated. It has flaws and I feel nothing in that respect towards you at all. Elves find love once, and what would happen if I fell in love with another man? I would hurt beyond repair and I cannot put you through that. You deserve better than me and you will find someone better than me. I prey that you do."
I do not look at Fili for fear that I will see sadness in his eyes. I feel anxiety well up inside me at the thought of him being in pain. I keep my face down cast. After a few moments, I feel Fili's fingers under my chin, lifting my head up. When I look at him, I see that he is smiling slightly at me.
"Thank you." He says softly.
"For what?" I ask. "I hurt you."
"You did but I needed it."
"That doesn't make sense."
"I thought elves were smart." He teases me and I laugh softly before frowning.
"I meant what I said, Fili." He looks confused. "You will find someone better than I. She will love you until the end of her days and you her. I will be a memory when that happens."
"You will be a good memory."
XXX
I left soon after that conversation to go home and bathe. My clothes are creased from sleeping in them so I just toss them carelessly on the floor before heading to my bath. It is already filled with hot water because it was the first thing I did when I got home. I step into it and watch as Rivendell begins to wake up from it's slumber. From my large bathroom window I can see elves walking up paths to Lord Elrond's and conversing with one another. I run my fingers through my hair, washing it thoroughly before combing the knots out of my locks. Stepping out of the bath, I wrap myself in a fluffy, white towel and head back to my room to get dressed.
With the dwarves leaving today, I decide to dress nicely. Lord Elrond and I will be bidding them goodbye this noon. It is almost eleven now and the dwarves will be leaving in a little over an hour so I need to rush. I leave my hair down, letting it spill down my back and shoulders before racing to the door.
The sun is out and shining this morning. The wind blows through the trees softly and plays with my hair. It seems to take longer than usual to get to Elrond's and I'm not sure why. When I do get there I head straight for the dwarves. All of them are up now and are packing up there things. Some of them seem to have finished and just mill around with their packs, watching the other dwarves with amused expressions. I walk over to that group which contains Thorin, Oin, Dwalin, Balin and Nori. I see Fili helping Kili pack up and Dori helping Ori.
When I reach the sitting dwarves, I just stand there for a moment, looking at their other bustling companions. Thorin lifts his head to me and smiles at me softly.
"Good morning, Nadriel." He greets me and I nod my head at him. "Did you end up going home last night?"
"No." I respond. "I was far too tired to move. The ground was surprisingly comfortable."
"I'm sure." He says and I hear laughter in his voice. I look down at him, remembering how short he is compared to me.
"Are you trying to imply something, Oakenshield? And if so, what?"
"Fili seems to be in a good mood this morning." He states. "You wouldn't have had anything to do with that, would you?"
"I would've thought I'd have the opposite effect, to be honest." I say, looking back down at Thorin, frowning. "Did you hear what I said to him this morning?" Thorin's smile disappears.
"I did."
"Then why the implication?"
"Teasing." He states honestly and I smile slightly.
"Kings shouldn't tease... they should give the benefit of the doubt." Thorin chuckles softly at this and crosses his arms over his chest before turning back to the others.
Fili and Kili finish before everyone else and make their way over to us. They both dump their swags and packs in front of their feet and Kili sits down against the wall with Fili beside him. "Tired already?" Kili smiles at me and chuckles. "You have a long journey back to your home. You're going to need all your strength to make it back."
"I'm not really looking forward to the trek around Mirkwood." Kili tells me. "The elves look at us through the trees with scowls. That prince especially. He doesn't like me."
"Well, to be fair to him, you did steal away his love." I say. "Elves take love very seriously. I would be surprised if he didn't despise you. He's angry with himself as well. I would be too if my love died in battle."
"Wouldn't he have a chance of dying from heartbreak?" Kili asks me, grimacing.
"There is a small chance." I explain. "It would only really matter if he had pledged himself to her. She would've pledged herself to him and they would've been married without inhibitions. Though his father never would've let Legolas marry one of Mirkwood's boarder guards. Thranduil isn't one for realism. He wants Legolas with a princess, preferable with my Lady Arwen. Though I don't expect Elrond to converse Thranduil for a couple of centuries, after what happened. So that match is gone. Elrond has sons, twins, and they still need to marry and produce heirs for Rivendell. Though they aren't ones to settle down."
"Did you beat them too?" Fili asks me.
"I did. On multiple occasions. I rather fancy beating princes in combat." I say. "Boosts my ego quite a bit."
"I thought you said you weren't one for arrogance." Thorin says.
"I don't like arrogant people, especially men who think they're better than everyone else." I say. "I'm partial to arrogance in myself. Besides, if I weren't arrogant than your cousin Dain would've walked all over me." I say to Thorin. "I don't like him, by the way."
"He doesn't like you much either." Thorin tells me, smiling. "He calls you 'That Whore' whenever someone brings you up. Though I believe he has a mutual respect for you."
"Well, it's a one-way thing then." I say harshly. "How you can keep him around is beyond me. He's an awful boy. Almost as stubborn as you."
By this time, all of the dwarves have finished packing and have made their way over to us. Their pack are all in a pile and I smile down at all of them. I hear a throat clearing and look up to see Lord Elrond. I smile at him before moving away from the dwarves. "Good morning, My Lord." I say. "Are you well this morning."
"I am. Thank you for asking, Nadriel." He answers me. "Are they ready?" Elrond nods his head towards the dwarves. They all seem to go silent as they see Elrond looking at them.
"Yes." I say. "They are. We have just been talking." I turn to the dwarves. "Come along."
Elrond leads the way to the gates of Rivendell and the Misty Mountains come into view. The dwarves bustle behind us with their packs and weapons on their backs. I hear pans clinking against each other as they walk. I stroll at Elrond's side but he doesn't look at me. "Is something bothering you, My Lord?" I ask him quietly so the others won't hear.
"No." He responds. "I am just thinking."
"Have you seen something, My Lord?" Elrond has gift of foresight and often his visions trouble him. He becomes far off when he has seen something. It takes a toll on him. Elrond is silent to my inquiry. "My Lord?"
"It is nothing you need to worry yourself with, Nadriel." He tells me kindly. Something flashes behind his eyes and I see a look on his face I have not seen for a long, long time.
I know what he's seen. And it is far from good.
I push the thought to the back of my mind as we reach the gates. Lord Elrond stands in front of the stairs with his hands clasped in front of him. I take my place next to him and the dwarves move into a cluster in front of us. They murmur to each other. Thorin steps forward and eyes Elrond.
"My company and I thank you both greatly for your hospitality." He says. "You could've easily sent us back the way we came so we thank you, for your food, for your warmth, and for your friendliness."
"You are welcome." Elrond says. "You have been almost no trouble to care for over the past few days. May it continue." He grimaces before turning to me, switching to his native tongue. "You are more than welcome to say goodbye to them. I am needed elsewhere so I must leave you."
"Yes, My Lord." I reply automatically. "I will just head home after this."
"Of course."
"Call on me if you need anything, My Lord." Elrond nods his head before retreating back up the stairs and out of sight. I turn back to the dwarves. Thorin smiles softly at me and I take a step forward and kneel down before him.
"Always a pleasure, Nadriel." He tells me. "Stay out of trouble."
"Says the child to the adult." I say, smiling. "I hate to say it, even after everything, but it's been good to see you again." I extend my hand to him and Thorin shakes it firmly. "I accept your peace treaty."
"I am glad." He tells me. "You are welcome back to the mountain whenever you please." I smile and Thorin steps back. I turn to look at Gloin and stand. "You have a wonderful son, Master Gloin. You have taught him well and I only hope you continue to do so."
"Aye, lass, I will." He says gruffly. "He very curious about you. Keeps asking about you." I smile.
"I must ask you, if I see you again, to give me a demonstration of your elvish medicine." Oin says.
"I would be happy to."
"Do not let it drain you, Nadriel," Balin says. "You look much better on your feet than on the ground."
"That, I agree with." I say and kneel back down to embrace Balin. "Take care of yourself, Lord Balin. You, like me, look for better on your feet than on the ground. Take it easy."
"Of course, Nadriel."
Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dwalin, Balin, Oin, Gloin, Nori, Dori and Ori begin to walk away from the gates of Rivendell with Fili, Kili, Thorin lagging for a few moments. Thorin nods his head towards me before turning his back also and leaving with the others. Only the brothers are left.
"I meant what I said." I say. "You will both move on. Both of you have gone through great adversity. Your lives can only go up from here." I'm still on my knees and Kili takes a step forward to hug me tightly. "I'll miss you, Kili." I pull back and look him right in the eyes. "Little brother." He smiles at me softly. "I would never leave my brother, would I?" He shakes his head, his grin becoming bigger. "I will come if you call. Only you."
"Does that make me special?"
"Very." He chuckles at my response. I look behind Kili and see Fili, smiling. Kili steps back to let his brother through. I smile at Fili and open my arms for him. He hugs me as tightly as his brother and I smile into him shoulder.
"If he's your brother, does that make me your brother too?" He asks me when we pull away.
"No." I say. "No, you are not. That doesn't make you any less special to me."
"Good."
"What I said to you this morning, I meant it. Every word of it." I crease my brows. "You will move on. I know you will. At least try."
"I will."
"Fili, we have to go." Kili says from behind him. "Uncle is telling us to come."
"I'll be there in a moment, Kili." Fili says, tuning to his brother. "Go on ahead. I will catch up to you and uncle." Kili simply nods his head a turns away. I look back at Fili.
"I will miss you, Fili." I say. "You and your brother. And like your brother, I will come if you ask me to."
"Thank you, Nadriel." He says. "I hope to see you again."
"And I you, Fili." Fili lowers his gaze for a moment. I place my finger his chin and lift his head again. I sigh. "One for the road?" Fili smiles slightly at my comment and I bring my head forward so our lips connect.
His hand comes to my cheek and his fingers gradually make it into my hair, tangling it around his fingertips, bringing me closer. I place one of my hands on his chest as we kiss. I open my mouth subtly, letting my tongue snake into his mouth. A soft sound comes up from his throat and his fingers begin to stroke my scalp softly. I pull him closer and Fili's other hand finds my waist.
As I'm about to pull back, Fili bites down softly onto my bottom lip, tugging it slightly. He looks up into my eyes and lets go instantly.
"No one, no matter how far down the road, will kiss as good as you." I blush at his words and lower my gaze. "Thank you, Nadriel."
"You're welcome." I say softly. Someone calls from afar and Fili turns his head in the direction of the sound. "I think that's your queue to go." Fili nods.
"I'll miss you." He tells me quietly, placing his hand on my cheek. He leans forward again and gives me a quick peak before turning to leave. I stand back up as another shout of Fili's name hits my ears.
"You better hurry." I call to Fili. "Your uncle isn't a man of patience." Fili turns back and smiles at me before waving to me and continues on walking.
I stand there until I can no longer see him, or any of the other dwarves. After a while, I turn my gaze towards the Misty Mountains. There I see the figures of the dwarves, Thorin at the front with Dwalin following closely behind. My elf-eyes recognise each of the dwarves.
Soon, they all begin to leave my vision as they travel further and further around the mountains. I see the Durin brothers pause for a moment and look back towards Rivendell. I know they cannot see me, I am too far away, but I wave anyway. It is as though they see me because both of them smile down at my home. Kili places a hand on Fili's shoulder before guiding him away.
Soon, they too are out of my sight and suddenly, normal doesn't sound so good.
Ok. This is not the end of the story. I have one more chapter that I'm going to upload late this week or early next week.
I was not quite sure about the ending for this chapter and this, I felt, was the best I could do and, to me, it felt right for this chapter to end like this. It was a tad bit abrupt but I've never been very good at ending my writing. Lets see how I go with the final chapter this week.
Once again, have a great Easter.