A Promise to Keep
Chapter 11
After a couple of days being really miserable Jethro was beginning to get used to the idea and accepting it as his future. Then Jenny called and asked if they could sit down and talk and he heard himself agreeing to have dinner with her on Thursday.
Then they got a case and his week went from miserable to truly awful. A Marine wife was found murdered and her children missing. The father was deployed and clues as to the fate of the children were few and far between. Cases involving children were always especially difficult and this one seemed headed for disaster from the start. By the time the father was located in Afghanistan and on his way home Jethro was ready to destroy something he was so frustrated with their lack of progress. Two days passed and nothing was happening. Finally the father returned and they discovered he was not actually the birth father; something the family's records neglected to mention.
After that the case took an entirely different direction and they finally had a suspect; the birth father. They worked around the clock for three days before they finally tracked the father and children to a mountain cabin in West Virginia. When they got there the man was determined to keep the children no matter what and Jethro was equally determined to get them away from him. His history of drug use and violent, erratic behavior made the situation extremely dangerous for all involved. Fortunately, the children were smart and resourceful and managed to sneak out of the cabin while their abductor was ranting to Jethro through the closed front door. The two boys snuck out a window in the bedroom and ran into the woods away from the cabin. McGee intercepted them and let Jethro know they were safe.
Once he knew the kids were safe, Jethro was through negotiating with the maniac in the cabin. He learned from the kids talking to McGee the man had several knives but no gun inside. Jethro and DiNozzo stormed the front door and after a brief struggle during which the man did manage to cut Jethro, DiNozzo shot and wounded the guy and the case was finally over. Well except for the drive home and the hated paperwork.
By the time they got back to the Navy Yard it was almost two o'clock in the morning but there was one very happy Marine waiting for them. Ducky was also there, summoned by Tony no doubt since he was sure his boss wouldn't go to the emergency room to be stitched up. Everyone was exhausted so Jethro told Tony and Tim to take the next day off. They reminded him it was already the next day and it was Saturday anyway. He just shrugged and sent them on their way saying he'd see them on Monday. Ducky took Jethro to autopsy and twelve stitches later he was finally on his way home.
As he fell into bed Jethro recalled he had missed a dinner with Jenny sometime in the last several days. He vaguely remembered calling her to cancel. Or at least he remembered thinking he needed to do that. As he succumbed to the effects of too many nights without sleep he hoped he had actually made that call.
Jethro slept late the next morning and spent most of the day catching up on the laundry and working on his boat. He called Captain Sanders to check on the boys and was assured they were fine; no worse for their rather harrowing experience. That was at least some good news. He never thought to call Jenny.
Unbeknownst to Jethro, Jenny had spoken to Ducky about two hours before Jethro rescued the boys in West Virginia. Ducky told her what he could about the case and said he had no idea when Jethro might be able to call her. At that point Ducky didn't know the had found the children. He told her Jethro and his team had been working pretty much around the clock for a week trying to locate the two boys. She thanked him for the information and tried not to worry. She knew Jethro would not stop or eat or sleep until he found those two little boys.
About the middle of the morning on that Saturday, Jenny called Jethro but go no answer which was unusual; he rarely was without his cell phone. It was in fact a rule if she remembered correctly. She called Ducky again and learned Jethro had finally found the kids and that he was most likely at home sleeping. She had some errands to run so she decided to just drop by Jethro's house around dinner time.
Jenny pulled into Jethro's driveway a little after six thirty with a pizza and a six pack of his favorite beer. They hadn't talked in days and days and Jenny was concerned. She didn't know exactly what she hoped to accomplish tonight but she missed Jethro and she felt like he needed some TLC after that terrible case. She just wanted to love him, take care of him and not worry about the future. At least not for tonight.
Jethro heard the front door open and close and then Jenny's footsteps across the floor and onto the basement steps. He looked up from where he was measuring the next piece for the hull and spied the pizza box and the smile on Jenny's face. He was very happy to see them both.
"Hey Jen. What are you doing here?"
"I heard you were home and I'm pretty sure you haven't been taking care of yourself this past week. So…here I am. Are you hungry?"
"Of course." Jethro took the pizza box from her, set it on the counter and pulled her against him for a kiss.
After a nice, long lingering kiss Jenny held his face and said, "You look tired. Are you okay?"
"It was just a really long week. We finally got the guy and the kids were fine."
"Thank god. Was anyone hurt?"
Jethro didn't answer right away and Jenny's hands slid down his back and under his tee shirt. She felt the bandage just as he started to pull away from her.
"Hold it mister. What's this?"
She was gently tracing the outline of the bandage Ducky had applied over the stitches he'd put in Jethro's side.
"Just a cut. A couple of stitches is all. Our bad guy brought a knife to a gunfight. He got in a lucky swipe before DiNozzo took care of him. Nothing to worry about."
"And the bad guy?"
"DiNozzo shot him. Not dead, just wounded. All in all it ended okay."
"Okay. You're not on any kind of restriction are you? Wounded as you are."
Jenny had a glint in her eyes Jethro hadn't seen in a while. One he had to admit he'd been missing.
"Why, what did you have in mind?"
"I thought after we ate and spent some time on the boat I might let you show me if what I've read about pregnancy sex is all it's cracked up to be."
Jethro's eyes lit up and a smile broke out that told Jenny she'd said just the right thing.
"Oh I think we'll definitely be able to do that. And yes, it's pretty damn good as I remember it."
As soon as the words were out of his mouth Jethro regretted that last statement. He looked at Jenny who suddenly seemed very interested in the pizza box.
"Hey, I'm sorry. That was..."
"No, Jethro it's okay. You've been married I know that and I respect it. I don't fault you for your memories."
"I don't compare you to Shannon. I don't."
"I believe you. It's alright, really. I don't expect or want you to forget her. She's part of who you are Jethro. I get that. It's fine. Come on, let's eat and you show me what you're doing here."
Jethro gave her a kiss and reached for a slice. While they ate, Jenny told him about going out to Pete's with some of the women from work and that Pete had asked about him. They talked about maybe going there for dinner one night the next week. When they were finished eating Jenny took the empty box upstairs to throw it away and then she quickly changed into some jeans and a tee shirt more appropriate for the basement. She rejoined Jethro and they spent the next couple of hours working on the boat.
Actually they spent about one hour on the boat and the other hour on kissing and talking and touching. Foreplay of a sort. Not what most people did but it surely worked for the two of them. By the time Jethro was ready to call it a night and head upstairs they were both more than ready to get down to business.
Their first stop was the shower and that took quite a while and did nothing to take the edge off. That's because Jethro was a terrible tease and wouldn't finish what he started. Over and over again. His hands, so skilled with tools, were equally skilled as tools of their own. He knew all the places that drove her crazy and he visited them all with his hands and his mouth and pretty soon she was begging which is exactly what he was waiting for. She got her revenge though when she summoned all her willpower and stepped out of the shower after giving him just enough of his own medicine to reduce him to begging.
"No, Jen come back in here. Please."
Jenny laughed and wrapped herself in a towel. She quickly dried off, dropped the towel on the floor and waltzed into the bedroom. She looked back at him and crooked her finger in a 'come here' motion. Jethro shut off the water, grabbed her discarded towel and ran it over his body in about five seconds. Then he crowded her onto the bed and pinned her down with his body.
"Jethro, you're all wet," Jenny tried to sound like she was complaining but it was difficult given how much she liked having him just where he was.
His hand went to her center and he replied, "So are you."
That was pretty much the end of any talking. Despite all his misgiving about their future, Jethro was very happy to have Jenny in his bed and he wasted no time in letting her know just how welcome she was. He was gentle and demanding at the same time and Jenny was, as always, overwhelmed by the care he took with her. She could never get enough of touching him and having his hands all over her. Sometimes they got a little rough with each other; by mutual agreement, but Jethro was always a very thoughtful and generous lover. As much as she enjoyed being worshipped and ravaged by him, Jenny also enjoyed watching him lose his control with her. Outside the bedroom he rarely ever lost control but with her he begged and pleaded and came apart pretty regularly. And he loved it.
Falling asleep with Jenny draped all over him was just what Jethro had needed tonight. It didn't escape him that they had not talked about or even mentioned the baby all night. That was okay. Jethro wanted Jenny to trust him, to relax with him and not be constantly on guard that he was going to make some demand about their child she wasn't ready or willing to go along with. He knew it was going to be very difficult to let Jenny go but he also knew he had no choice in the matter. Her career was important to her and right now being a mother was not. He was confident when she saw the baby she would love it but he was determined not to use that to try and hold her in DC. In some tiny, secluded part of his soul he still held out some hope that she would agree to marry him some day.
Exhausted by their week and the stress they had both been under not to mention their "exercise" before they fell asleep, Jethro and Jenny slept through the night for the first time in weeks. When Jethro woke up it was almost six o'clock. He didn't think either of them had moved all night. Jenny was still sprawled out on him, one of her legs between his, her head on the pillow right next to his and her left arm draped over his chest. He carefully pulled his arm out from under her and shook some circulation back into it. Then he moved just enough to be able to look at her while she slept on.
Jethro watched her sleeping and couldn't help but think what a beautiful woman Jenny was. Her hair was a soft red and her skin was perfectly smooth and flawless with pale freckles under her eyes. Behind those closed lids were the greenest eyes he'd ever seen. Her breasts were perfection and her legs were long and strong. Jethro thought she had the best smile he'd ever seen. Taking this silent inventory Jethro found himself unable to keep his hands to himself. He trailed his hand gently down her arm and back again. Then he let one hand get tangled in her hair as he leaned down to plant a series of soft kisses around her mouth before he couldn't wait any longer and kissed her on the mouth. Jenny surprised him by wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him back enthusiastically.
Long moments later when they needed a breath, Jenny finally opened her eyes and said, "Good morning lover."
"Mornin' beautiful."
Jenny closed her eyes and when she opened them again Jethro was still right there, a breath away, looking at her with nothing but love in his eyes. She knew she didn't deserve him but she was very glad he was there.
"I really like waking up with you, Jethro."
"And I you. What shall we do today?"
Jenny was carefully scraping her nails up and down his back and she managed to roll over until she was lying on top of him. Morning sex was a favorite of theirs and she saw no reason not to indulge themselves this particular morning.
"I don't know about the rest of the day but I have some ideas for the next hour or so."
"You do huh? Like what?"
Jethro had his hands in her hair holding her face very close to his. So close all she had to do was lean down a tiny bit to kiss him. She did just that. Then she kissed her way over to his ear and whispered to him exactly what she had in mind for the morning activity. Jethro took a deep breath and grinned at her. Jenny knew exactly how to get his motor running and she had done just that. He didn't disappoint her. But then he never had.
The next time Jethro woke up he was alone in the bed and it was almost eight o'clock. He stretched and looked around for Jenny but she wasn't in the bedroom or the bathroom. Jethro closed his eyes and forced himself to think seriously for a few minutes about their future. He was pretty sure Jenny hadn't thought they would wind up in a serious relationship when she decided to pick him up in a bar all those months ago. He certainly hadn't had any intention of getting into a relationship of any kind. Now here they were; expecting a child and not all that sure where the two of them were headed. Jenny was undoubtedly headed for London and Jethro for single fatherhood but what about the two of them as a couple?
Jethro listened to the little voice in his head for a while. That voice was telling him it was time he started looking out for himself. It reminded him that Jenny had made it clear she had no interest in their child, no interest in staying with him. Even though he had told her he would wait for her, Jethro knew that might not be realistic. He couldn't imagine himself getting involved with anyone in the next two years; not while he was taking care of a baby and working. But Jenny could very easily find someone else and that would be the end of them. That assumed of course that "they" survived the pregnancy which at this point Jethro had some serious doubts about. He was a realist and even though he suspected Jenny did love him if she wasn't ready or willing to admit that it didn't really matter.
He asked himself how much longer he was willing to carry on as if they were a happy couple when he knew in his heart that Jenny was set on leaving him. Probably not much longer he concluded with a sigh of sad resignation. Maybe it was time to put himself first so he would be able to be the father he needed to be in a few months. He was determined to help Jenny through the pregnancy in any way he could but maybe he needed to begin putting some space between them so when it ended between them he'd be in one piece instead of a hundred. These were not new ideas; he'd had these same thoughts for weeks now but Jenny showing up in his basement last night had shoved those ideas to the very back of his consciousness.
Scrubbing his hands over his face and through his hair, Jethro told himself he needed to give Jenny an out. He needed to let her know he understood how she felt and that it was okay but he couldn't carry on the way they were for much longer. Then he smelled bacon frying. That got him motivated and just over ten minutes later he was standing behind Jenny in the kitchen while she tended the frying pan. He breathed her in and kissed her hair.
"Sorry, there's no coffee. The aroma I used to love so much still makes me sick in the morning."
"That's okay. I'll have OJ. Do you want another cup of tea?"
"No thanks. I'll try some OJ too."
Jethro poured them each a glass of juice then offered to take over the cooking.
"I can do the eggs if you want. Do you want toast or biscuits? I have some in the freezer that are pretty good."
"Toast I think. It's quicker and I'm starving for some reason."
Jethro grinned at her then pulled her in close.
"The reason is you can't keep your hands off me."
"Really? I'm pretty sure you're the one that started that last exercise when you woke me up kissing me."
"Are you complaining?"
"Never. I love how you wake me up."
Jethro finished the bacon then fixed them some eggs while Jenny manned the toaster. They had just about finished eating when Jenny put her fork down and looked at him. She studied him for a moment trying to figure out what was going on. He was saying all the right things but something was just a little bit off in his voice and in his eyes. She decided to let that go for a while because she wanted to ask about something Lisa had said to her the night they were at Pete's.
"Jethro, do you think I'm controlling?"
"What? You mean with me or in bed or what?"
"Not in bed. Just in general do you think I'm a control freak?"
"No. I think you like to plan and focus on how things go but I don't think that's a bad thing at all. Do you?"
"No but the other night when I went out with some of the girls from work Lisa said one of the reasons I'm so freaked out about being pregnant is that I feel I've lost control of my life."
"Is she right?"
"I don't know."
Jenny got up and took their plates to the sink. Jethro watched her and he could almost see the wheels spinning in her mind. He wondered where this was going.
"I like to have a plan you're right. I don't like a lot of unexpected things happening. This baby is certainly unexpected and I think that's part of what threw me."
"Jen, I don't think there's anything wrong with being thrown off balance by such a big surprise. This is a life altering situation and I'd be surprised if you weren't thrown for a loop. It's natural."
"But you're not thrown for a loop. You took the whole thing in stride like it was the most natural thing in the world."
"Well given how much sex we have it is a pretty natural outcome. But aside from that, believe me I'm still coming to grips with the idea. Maybe it seems like I've got it all together but that's an illusion."
"Then why are you so damned calm about this baby coming and me leaving and you raising a child alone?"
"I've done this before Jen. I loved being a father and honestly I didn't expect to be one again. At least I never planned on it after Kelly died. I'm anything but calm about you leaving. It will break my heart to watch you get on that plane in a few months but I've known that was coming for months and I'm resigned to it. Like I told you before, Jen, I want you to be happy and I know how much this assignment means to you. As for raising our child alone I don't expect I'll be doing it all by myself. I'll have help. Not sure who but my dad will help and Abby and I'll find someone to come in and take care of him. Or her."
"What do you mean you've known about London for months? I just told you for sure when I told you about the baby."
"I have my ways. I've known for a long time you wanted that job, were working your butt off for it in fact. I'm proud of you, Jenny. That's a plum assignment and you deserve it."
Jenny was astonished. Jethro knew she was leaving and yet he had an engagement ring upstairs. He was going to propose to her knowing she was leaving for at least two years. She sat back down as Jethro finished cleaning up the kitchen. She didn't know what to say or think. She watched him move around his kitchen and she wondered if she'd be able to do the same thing if the situation was reversed.
Jenny was leaning against the counter in front of the sink, too restless to sit still any longer. Jethro had gone back to sit at the table and was fiddling with his orange juice glass wishing he had a cup of coffee. Neither of them said anything for a while and the good mood from last night was clearly evaporating. Finally Jethro couldn't stand it any longer and he asked the question that had been plaguing him for days.
"What are you afraid of Jen?"
Very quietly she said, "I don't know."
"Yes you do. You just don't want to say it out loud."
Jenny looked at him sitting there just waiting for her to ruin his dream and she found it hard to breathe. How in the world did this happen? Hadn't they just spent a wonderful night together and had great sex earlier this morning. Why was he opening this can of worms now?
"You want me to say it for you?"
"No. Jethro, I just never thought things would get so serious with us. I never planned this."
"You started this Jenny. You persisted and pushed and waited and finally you got me. Now you don't want what you have and you're afraid to say it. Am I right? You don't want me. Like you don't want our baby. Just say it Jen, maybe you'll feel better when you get it out of your system."
Jenny could hardly look at him. She heard the hurt in his voice and she felt so guilty she hated herself in that moment.
"Jethro do we have to do this right now?"
He didn't answer. He just stared into the empty glass for what seemed a very long time then he looked up at her and the sadness in his face made her cringe.
"No. We don't have to do it at all."
Jethro got up and put his glass in the dishwasher. He stood very close to her and kissed her on the cheek. She still couldn't look him in the eye.
"It's alright Jenny. I'll survive. I've done it before. Just promise me you'll take care of our baby until it comes. I'll do the rest. I want to be at the doctor appointments and I'll pay for whatever you need." He turned to walk away but stopped and without turning back he said, "I love you."
Then he walked out of the kitchen, out the back door and into the backyard. Jenny was frozen; shocked and not quite sure what had just happened. The morning had started out so normally and now, if she wasn't mistaken, Jethro had just cut her loose. He knew her better than she thought he did. But, she thought, 'he's wrong; I do want him. I don't want to want him but I do'. She'd known the night she woke up from the nightmare and he'd come to stay with her that she didn't really want to give Jethro up but she didn't see any option. Since then he'd given her the option of taking the job she wanted and still having a relationship with him. Being the stubborn, scared idiot that she was, Jenny had refused to admit even to herself, that she wanted and even needed to be with Jethro. Now, he had let her go, given her the out she'd thought she wanted and all she wanted to do was cry.
Jethro paced back and forth in his backyard mentally kicking himself on the one hand and telling himself he'd done the right thing on the other. He knew he needed to protect himself but dammit, he already missed Jenny even though as far as he knew she was still in his house. Several times he started to go back in and tell her it was a mistake, that he didn't want her to go but each time he stopped himself. He needed a drink but it wasn't even ten o'clock in the morning. Maybe talking to Mike would help. Jethro decided that was a good idea so he started for the house to get his phone. He didn't make it past the back deck.
While Jethro was pacing, Jenny went into the bathroom, looked at herself in the mirror and gave herself a come-to-Jesus talking to. She thought back to what her nanny-housekeeper-surrogate mother used to tell her; trust your instincts when it comes to people. Noemi also used to tell Jenny that she was the smartest person she knew and that she was going to happy someday. Jenny remembered many times when she was sad about her mother's absence and Noemi would always tell Jenny to look inside for her happiness; not to depend on another person. Because her mother was gone by the time Jenny started dating, Noemi was her confidant when it came to boys and later men. There weren't many boyfriends but Jenny remembered Noemi telling her time and again that when she found the right one she would know. Now standing in Jethro's guest bathroom, looking at her sorry self in the mirror, she knew.
Jenny knew Jethro was right about one thing; she was afraid. Her life was not unfolding as she'd always planned so she didn't know what to do. She did know one thing though; she didn't want to do whatever she was going to do without Jethro. He had never lied to her and he was rarely off course with his advice. Jenny didn't often take advice but she had to admit she trusted Jethro. She felt safe with him and now she told herself she needed to trust that he would be there for her and together they could figure everything out. That is if he still wanted to do it together. First though she needed to understand why he'd decided to give up on them. Jenny squared her shoulders and headed to the backyard to get an answer to that question and to convince him to give her another chance.
They practically bumped into each other in the doorway.
"Sorry. Just coming in to get my phone."
"Jethro, I need to say some things. Can we please sit down and talk?"
He looked at her and almost against his will he said yes. He gestured for her to turn around and followed her into the living room. They sat on opposite ends of the couch and Jenny wasted no time in getting started. She was afraid if she hesitated she'd lose her nerve.
"You were right when you said I'm scared. But you're wrong when you say I don't want you. I do want you Jethro. We have gone so far beyond where I ever imagined we'd go that I just don't know how to handle it. I don't want to lose you."
"Jenny, like it or not we're tied together now; forever in some ways. A child ties you to me and me to you. I'm sorry but I just don't think you know what you want. You said a long time ago you thought I needed a friend. I did. Now I need more than that and if you're honest with yourself you have to see you're not ready to be that."
"You think that because of how I feel about the baby don't you?"
"Partly. It's sort like if I had a child already and we started dating. I'd be a package deal. Well, I will have a child in a few months and I will be a package deal. If you can't love the child how can you love me? And loving me is what it's come down to, Jen."
"Why are you doing this now, Jethro? Everything was so great last night and we've been so good together for so long. I don't understand where this is coming from all of a sudden."
"It's not all of a sudden. At least not for me. Look Jen, I have to protect myself. Ever since I found out you were in the running for the London job I've been preparing myself for the day you leave. I figured I'd enjoy us as long as I could and then when you left I'd fall apart for a few weeks, drink too much, bury myself in work and hide in the basement. Then, after a while I'd pull it together and move on. Things changed when I found out about the baby. When you leave I won't be able to fall apart. I will have to have myself together for our child. I can't spend all my time drinking and working on the boat. So, I decided it would be better if I let you go now, as much as possible, and do my falling apart before the baby comes. That way I'll be pretty much okay when I have to be a parent."
Hearing him describe what he envisioned his life to be when she left was a shock for Jenny. She'd never given any thought to how he'd feel when she left. In fact, she'd never given much thought to how either of them would feel. It was easier to just go along, enjoying each other, spending time together, having great sex and not give much thought to the future. Of course she knew Jethro had given some thought to it because he had a ring upstairs. It was hard for Jenny to admit that she had been so callous and selfish in their relationship.
They had been sitting in silence since Jethro stopped talking and he was getting antsy. He expected Jenny to say something but if she didn't speak up pretty quickly he was leaving.
"Jethro, I've been so selfish and thoughtless with you. I never gave any thought to how you'd feel when I left. Even after you told me you love me I didn't get a clue. I'm sorry. I always thought I'd simply get on a plane and fly away and never give us another thought. Now I can't imagine what I was thinking. That is absolutely not going to be possible. Even if there was no baby involved it would be impossible for me to walk away from you like that. Please forgive me. Please give us another chance."
"There's nothing to forgive Jen. You can't help how you feel. Just like I can't help how I feel about you. The question is what are we going to do about it? What exactly do you mean when you say you want us to have a second chance?"
"I mean I don't want to lose you. I mean…..I want us to figure out how to make us work. I want to love you Jethro, I really do. It's just…I don't know how."
Jenny's eyes were sparkling with unshed tears. She looked right at him, right into his deep, blue eyes and he thought, right into his soul. He wanted to believe her. He wanted her to love him but she didn't sound all that sure of herself.
"I don't know what that means Jen. Either you do or you don't. If you think you will some day then I'll wait. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not pressuring you to do anything you're not ready for but I have to think about myself too."
"I understand. I'm such a mess. Would you just hold me for a little while?"
"Sure."
Jenny scooted over and Jethro wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. God, he didn't want to let her go. He loved her and he truly believed she loved him or she would if she could just trust herself. For some reason she couldn't seem to give in to what she was feeling. And there was the problem of how she felt about the baby. He told her the truth when he said he and the baby were a package deal; love me, love my child, was exactly how it would have to be. And, if she didn't love the child how could he love her? Lots of questions remained to be answered in the coming weeks and months. Jethro decided to be patient and see how things developed.
The emotions of the morning took their toll and before they knew it both Jenny and Jethro had fallen asleep. Eventually Jethro woke up and found Jenny still curled into his side with her head on his chest and both his arms holding her securely. His mind wandered to the day so long ago when Shannon had first told him she loved him.
They had finished a picnic lunch on a Saturday afternoon. He was on a weekend pass from Camp Lejeune. They had little money between them; he was a very young Marine and Shannon was going to school and working part time in a dress shop. She got some money every month from her grandmother but not much. She lived in a tiny apartment with another young woman she'd met at school.
After cleaning up their picnic, they took a walk down by the small lake in the park then sat on a bench just holding hands and watching some little kids playing near the water. Jethro loved being with Shannon because she seemed to like the quiet as much as he did. Plus, she knew about his mom dying and how he and his dad didn't get along. Jethro didn't have to explain anything to Shannon.
"Jethro, there's something I want to tell you."
He was immediately afraid. For all his Marine toughness and his fearlessness when it came to his service, Jethro was very insecure about his ability to hold onto a woman like Shannon. She was smart and so pretty and he just didn't think he stood a chance of keeping her long term. This, he thought, this is it. She's tired of picnics instead of dinner out and she's not going to want to wait around while I go all over the world in the Corps.
Jethro was afraid to respond but Shannon had shifted to look him in the face and he had to say something.
"Okay, go ahead. I'm listenin'."
Her hair was so shiny and beautiful in the sunlight. Her eyes so bright and that smile, well it took his breath away. He felt himself tightening up waiting for her to say it. Whatever it was.
"I love you Jethro. I'm in love with you. I want to be with you forever."
He was so shocked he almost couldn't think. She was looking at him in amusement because she knew she'd surprised him and that wasn't easy to do.
"You do? Oh wow, I ….I thought….well never mind what I thought. I love you back. So much. I can't even say how much I love you, Shannon."
Then she flung her arms around his neck and kissed him until he thought he might pass out. Jethro remembered Shannon being so happy and so excited. It was like she'd told him a wonderful, beautiful secret and it made her happy to say it out loud. He had no idea how many times they'd said 'I love you' to each other after that day but he knew it wasn't nearly enough.
Sitting on his couch holding Jenny, Jethro tried not to compare the two experiences but he couldn't really help it. Unlike Shannon's happy declaration of love, Jenny's reluctance to allow herself to love him was hard to accept. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. He wanted desperately for Jenny to be in love as he was but that certainly wasn't the case.
Before he could give any more thought to his dilemma, Jethro's phone went off and he had to get up to find it. He eased Jenny off of him and slid off the couch in search of his least favorite gadget. Finally, just before it would have gone to voice mail, Jethro found it in the kitchen and answered.
"Yeah, it's Gibbs."
"Agent Gibbs the Park Police called saying they found a body in Rock Creek Park."
"Okay, alert my team and Dr. Mallard. Tell them to meet me at the scene. Thanks."
"No problem Agent Gibbs."
Jethro went back to the living room and found Jenny rubbing her eyes and struggling to wake up.
"Hey, sorry but I've gotta go to work. You're welcome to stay of course."
"No, I need to go home and do laundry and all that sort of thing."
"Come upstairs with me while I get dressed?"
"Sure."
Jenny followed him up the stairs and while he took a very quick shower she made the bed and collected his dirty clothes to take with her.
"You don't have to do that, babe. I can do it later."
"I know but I might as well. I'll bring it back tomorrow. What's the case?"
"Body in Rock Creek Park."
"That seems to be a favorite spot for your cases."
"Yeah, too many in the last year. What's on your schedule this week?"
"I'm teleconferencing with Alan on Tuesday and I might be flying over for a few days after we talk about schedules."
"Hey, that's great. You can get a better idea about the job and lots of stuff. Are you excited to go?"
"Yes and no."
Jethro pulled his shirt on then sat on the bed with her.
"Jen, it's okay. I want you to be excited. This is what you've worked for and it doesn't have anything to do with us. Do you believe me when I say I'm happy for you?"
"Yes, but I know part of you doesn't want me to go. And, part of me feels the same way."
"Well this time won't be for long. And when it's time to go for the job it will be okay. Don't worry about that right now. Just take care of yourself and this little person," and he poked her gently in the tummy.
"Look, I have to get going. I'll call you later."
"No, you won't. I'll call you though. Be safe Jethro. Come to the house later if you want. I'll be home and I'll have something cooked."
"Okay. Hopefully this won't be anything too complicated."
The case of course was complicated and by the time Jethro's team had it figured out Jenny was practically on her way to London. They managed one night together before she left but Jethro was exhausted and frustrated and Jenny was nervous. It wasn't their best night together but Jenny thought maybe that was okay. She realized that even though Jethro wasn't great company she wanted him there and she wanted to do something to make things better for him. After they had a late supper she pulled him up the stairs to her room and told him to get undressed and on the bed.
"You gonna take advantage of me Jen?"
"No, I'm going to give you a back rub and then snuggle with you until you fall asleep. You haven't had a good nights sleep in at least three days and I want you to have one tonight."
Jethro had no complaints about the plan. Jenny gave great back rubs and he knew he needed the rest. He shed his clothes and fell face first onto the bed. Jenny changed into some sleep shorts and a cami and sat on Jethro's thighs. She rubbed some oil between her hands and got to work. She started at his waist and worked her way up kneading and rubbing tight muscles along the way.
"Babe you are so tight. Does your back hurt?"
"Shoulders mostly. No time to work out lately."
"Well while I'm gone maybe you can go to the gym."
"Boat," came the muffled reply.
Jenny laughed, "Yes some boat time will help. Think you can pick me up Sunday night when I get back.?"
"Course. Leave your flight info for me."
Jenny could feel Jethro relaxing and by the time she was finished and had washed her hands, turned off the light and slipped into bed, he was fast asleep. She moved in next to him and he rolled over pulling her against his chest. Spooned up against him, Jenny was asleep in minutes. As usual, Jethro woke on his own about five thirty. He knew Jenny had a morning flight so he kissed her awake, made love to her and then persuaded her to join him in the shower.
"I want you to take care and be safe while I'm gone."
"Always. You take care of yourself and this little one too," Jethro rubbed a soapy hand over her baby bump.
Jenny watched his face as he caressed her and their child. She was always struck by the love and joy in Jethro's eyes when he spoke of the baby. She fervently wanted to share in that joy and sometimes she felt like she was beginning to. She hoped Jethro had enough for both of them at least until she caught up. If she ever did.
Jenny had a cab coming for her so Jethro kissed her goodbye and left for work.
"I love you Jenny. Good luck on the trip. Call me when you get settled, okay."
"Yes, I'll call you. Be safe."
TBC