Chapter 11

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Raph limped in, his crutches squeaking loudly in the uncomfortable silence, and he tapped Don on the shoulder. Don glanced up at him and Raph tilted his head at the door.

Don frowned and opened his mouth, but closed it when nothing came out. He stood up gradually and quirked his lips at Raph before following his order.

Raph sat down on Leo's bed and leaned his crutches against the wall. Master Splinter, Mike, and Don filled the doorway and Raph waved them away. Master Splinter let out a breath in acceptance, closed the door, and ushered Don and Mikey away.

Raph sighed and turned back to Leo.

"You okay?" Raph asked.

Leo fingered his covers and gave a short nod. "You?"

Raph nodded back, though Leo never looked up.

Leo's room had always been extremely neat; everything perfectly placed and nothing was ever out of order. The posters were lined up and Leo's books were in flawless rows. But it all looked strange with the light falling in the wrong angles. Like the whole room was the same, but not.

"You know," Raph said, "every time they took me, they threw me in this really dark room. I couldn't see a thing, but they always had something waiting for me. One time it was this bat with razors stuck in it. Another time was the whip." Raph shifted up against the wall. "But you know, the one that got me was when they didn't do anything."

Leo studied Raphael, his head still lowered but his eyes roamed over each bandage, clearly seeing them as they had been in the cell.

"I thought someone was in there with me, but after a while I wasn't sure. It was so quiet I started thinking maybe I was deaf. So I stayed really still and I thought someone was walking around me. I don't know." Raph shook his head.

Leo sat up, intently focused on Raph. It felt better to tell Leo, like poison sucked away. Like maybe if he shared this, something would snap back into place and they'd be okay.

"Then I thought they were talking. And I kept waiting and waiting for them to start something, but nothing happened. When I got back, I thought maybe they did that to you. Drugged you up and put you inside a dark room with nothing but whispers."

Leo picked at his covers and Raph stared resolutely at the titles on Leo's bookcase.

"You never told me about the dark." Leo said.

"Neither did you." Raph said with a breathless chuckle.

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Raph woke up with his neck hurting and his right arm numb. He had fallen asleep on Leo's bed, uncomfortably and awkwardly curled in a way that he was able to fit most of himself on the short side. Raph groaned as he sat up, rubbing his neck and trying to shake out his arm without his sides feeling like they'd gut him like a fish.

Leo was already up. He sat on the floor next to the bed, his legs tucked tight against his plastron and his arms wrapped around his knees. He stared up at Raph with a faraway look.

"Leo?" Raph reached out to shake Leo's knee, he remembered not to just as he was about to touch Leo. Instead he waved his hand in front of Leo's face. "Hey!"

Leo startled back and frowned. "You don't have to yell."

"Just making sure we're on the same planet." Raph scooted to the edge of the bed and started to stretch out his arms. Geez, was this how getting old felt like?

Glancing around, Raph caught sight of the clock on Leo's bedside table. It was just a quarter till nine, Sensei must have let Don and Mike sleep in or he would have woken up to the sound of Mike crashing into something by then.

"When you get up?" Raph asked.

Leo shrugged. "Didn't sleep."

Raph sighed. The light was back in its place and Raph wished it was that easy to fix Leo. Raph glanced at his crutches and reached for them. They should get breakfast soon. Don had set him and Leo on some weird diet where they have to eat every few hours.

"I can't get her voice out of my head." Leo said.

Raph paused. His hands fell to his lap and looked at his brother. Raph's neck was already straining with the position, but he didn't want to put Leo off his course.

Leo rested his head against his knees. "Every time I close my eyes, it's all I can hear."

"What does she say?" Raph asked gently.

Leo's fingers tightened around his forearms.

The silence stretched thick before them. Raph didn't want to push any further and Leo seemed to be struggling with his words.

"She said…" Leo swallowed and pressed his head harder against his arms. "She said I'm hers. She said no matter how far I run, I can't hide because – because we're – we're one." Leo groaned. "She's right, Raph." He rubbed his eyes and choked out a laugh. "I can't get her out of my head."

"No." Raph shook his head. "She's wrong."

Leo sat up, his eyes as dark as the ocean waves. "You don't understand."

"There's nothing to understand." Raph said. "She took advantage of you. You had no choice. It's not your fault."

"I let her." Leo whispered. "I – I didn't want to, but she said…she said…"

"What did she say?" Raph tried to keep his voice gentle, but he was burning with anger and his hands thundered with nervousness. He'd go crazy, he knew it. The rage would just bubble and bubble until it had nowhere to go. Until it spilled over like blood from an open wound, gushing and gushing until there was nothing left. His only hope was for the blood to be Karai's.

"She said she'd kill you."

"Goddamn it, Leo." Raph wished he could reach out to Leo, instead he clenched his fists, uncertain how Leo would react. "It's not your fault."

A rustle came from the kitchen and Raph knew Mikey had started making breakfast. It was a soft sound, nothing more than Mikey letting a cupboard door close, but it was enough to jar Leo out of speaking more on the subject. This wasn't much, but it was better than what any of them had gotten out of Leo so far. It would be a long road ahead, but they'd get through it. Then he'd go and kick Karai's head in.

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