"Do you find it strange living among humans?" asked Kimigiku.

Chizuru remembered those bewildering first few days with Sakamoto after she escaped the Nagumo, and all the things she'd had to learn since then so as to pass as human. It all felt so natural now that she sometimes she forgot she had anything to hide.

"Not any more," she said. "Do you?"

Was Kimigiku feeling overwhelmed by Edo, as Chizuru had felt overwhelmed by human cities at first? But Chizuru knew that she'd spent a lot of time in Kyoto, which was not really all that different. Perhaps she was just trying to get to know Chizuru better.

It was the first time they'd really had a chance to talk since arriving in Edo, with most of the day having been spent finding accomodation, reading correspondence, and deciding on their plans. Chizuru would have expected Kimigiku to feel more strange about sharing accomodation with men than with humans, it was nice to know she saw Chizuru as more like her than not.

"It is a little strange to do so for such a long period," said Kimigiku. "I have visited human cities many times, and pretended to be human myself when it was required. But it was always simply a role I was playing, and I soon returned home. And I was always with Princess Sen."

"You've been with her a long time, haven't you?" said Chizuru.

"Yes, five years." She gave a small, fond smile.

"I'm sorry we took you away from her." The loyalty Kimigiku displayed towards Sen was deep and exceptional. It spoke well of the princess that she inspired such feelings in a remarkable woman like Kimigiku.

"It was the Princess's decision," said Kimigiku, her voice soft. "I must admit...I did not understand at first. She has been my life for so long...I thought perhaps I had displeased her. But it has been...an interesting holiday, to be amongst those who have little power over me. Not that the Princess would ever abuse that power, but..."

"I understand," said Chizuru. She thought about her own life amongst the Shinsengumi, and how things were different now. "I suppose it's the same for me. There's no-one to give orders, we just...figure things out between us. It's a little bit weird."

"Yes," said Kimigiku. "But not unpleasant. I sometimes forget that Toudou-san and Yamazaki-san are only human...that they are human, that is." She gave a wry smile. "It's so easy to think of them as lesser, isn't it? But we're not so different, really. And whatever my upbringing, my blood is more human than demon."

"Mine is entirely demon," said Chizuru. "And I don't think I'm better than them or you. Who cares what blood someone has? We're still all people."

"Hmm," said Kimigiku, which from someone raised to be a demon woman meant no, you're wrong. "I can respect humans, and my own human ancestors, without forgetting that I am a demon myself. If we do not hold onto our identity we risk losing ourselves, outnumbered as we are."

"Hmm," said Chizuru.

"I speak of the general principle," said Kimigiku. "Not every demon must define themselves as a demon first and foremost. Otherwise we risk becoming..."

"Like Kodo-san," said Chizuru.

"Yes," said Kimigiku. "Or Lord Kazama, or any other such demon who uses the good of their clan as an excuse to ignore every principle that demons are supposed to value. For me, to be a demon means to be concerned for the good of all others of my kin, including those who choose to live differently to myself. That is the principle the Princess follows, and the law of her village."

"When you say things like that, I can understand...understand why someone might be proud to be a demon," said Chizuru.

Kimigiku gave an understanding smile. "And when I think of what you and Kaoru-san have experienced, I understand why you choose to live amongst humans."

"Thank you," said Chizuru. "I...we do both truly appreciate the offer to stay in Yase village, even though we didn't take it. I am sure it's lovely."

"It is," said Kimigiku. "When Kaoru-san is safe, both of you should come to stay...not permanently, but just to visit. I know it would make Princess Sen happy."

"Hmmm," said Chizuru. "That's very kind of you, but I, uh..."

"Don't worry," said Kimigiku. "While it would also make Princess Sen happy if you changed your mind, she understands your reluctance to take on such a heavy responsibility. She is no Lord Kazama, to press a suit past the point of rejection. You would be welcome simply as friends."

"Then...oh, Heisuke!" Chizuru noticed him at the door, with Yamazaki a few steps behind.

"Uh, hi!" he said. "Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt you talking. Susumu and me are going to baths, want to come with us?"

"A public bath?" asked Kimigiku.

"Yeah!" said Heisuke. "There's a nice big one around the corner, I remember it being really good."

"My apologies," said Kimigiku. "But I prefer to bathe alone."

Demons segregated their baths by gender. Chizuru remembered her shock the first time she'd gone to a public bath with Sakamoto, seeing so many men and women and children all bathing together. Chizuru found she liked it more this way, but could understand why Kimigiku might feel self conscious.

"Oh, hey, that's ok!" said Heisuke. "We'll see you later, then. What about you Chizuru?"

"I'd love a proper bath," she said.

"Great!"

Edo was a lot like Kyoto, but even more loud and modern. Walking down the crowded city streets she was reminded of all the times the Shinsengumi members had reminisced about their times together here. Did the friends she'd left behind in Kyoto miss this city, and the simpler times they'd shared here? The news from Kyoto wasn't good, and it was hard not to worry. She worried most for Kondou, who had been shot: he was recovering, but it wasn't clear if he'd ever regain the full use of his arm. She thought of Sanan, and how such an injury had sent his life on a darker path. Thoughts of Sanan led naturally to thoughts of Kaoru. Where was he, now? Was he safe? Was he suffering?

She thought too of Heisuke's childhood, growing up in these streets as the illegitimate son of a single mother, not knowing where he fit into society or what to do with his life. He didn't like to talk much about that part of his life, but his affection for the city itself was clear.

"Are you enjoying being in Edo again, Heisuke?" she asked.

"Yeah, it's great!" he said. "You ever been here before, Chizuru?"

"When I was very young," she said. "For a little while. But I don't really remember. What about you, Yamazaki-san?"

"No," he said. "This is my first visit."

"I'll have to show you guys around!" said Heisuke. "Kyoto's nice and all, but it's not Edo."

When they got to the bath, Yamazaki undressed efficiently and immediately began the task of getting clean, leaving Heisuke and Chizuru standing by the entrance.

Get it together Chizuru, she thought, you've bathed with Heisuke before. Don't make it weird.

She got undressed and clean as quickly as she could and then walked into the bath without looking behind to see if Heisuke was following. The bath was huge, steaming water and naked humans as far as the eye could see. She couldn't see Yamazaki, so stepped into the water and found an empty place to sit. It was very warm, and she felt the cold of Winter soaking out of her bones.

"Hey," said Heisuke, as he sat down next to her. "Where did Yamazaki go?"

"I'm not sure," she said.

Heisuke had pulled his hair into a rough bun on top of his head and little strands had fallen down around his face. She wanted to reach over and smooth them out of his eyes.

"I guess it's just you and me, then," said Heisuke. He ducked under the water a little more, so that it covered his shoulders, and the unstable mass of his hair started to unravel in front of Chizuru's eyes.

Without thinking she reached up and put her hand on his head to stop his hair falling into the water.

"Chizuru?" said Heisuke, looking at her with confusion.

"Your hair. It's about to fall."

"Oh!" he laughed. "It's a good thing you have such fast reflexes."

"Um, do you want me to help you put it up again?"

"Uh...yeah! Thanks!"

Trying to wrangle Heisuke's hair without any of it falling into the water was quite a challenge. Every time she had most of it under control little strands would do their best to escape. It felt nice, though, smooth and soft under her fingers. "Your hair's so long!" she said, as she wound it into a neater bun and did her best to tie it into a stable shape.

"Yeah, it's kind of ridiculous," said Heisuke.

"I like it," said Chizuru. Heisuke gave a small smile and Chizuru was struck by how close their faces were. She almost got lost in the warmth of his eyes, looking at her with tender affection.

Suddenly a loud voice shouted at her. "Rarr! I'm a demon!"

Chizuru nearly jumped out of the water, but it was just a small child, making a face.

"Rarr!" repeated the child, grinning.

"Oh no!" she said, with a theatrical gasp. "Not a demon! I'm so scared!"

"Hahaha!" said the child. And then it ran off.

"Anything but a demon, hey Chizuru?" snickered Heisuke.

"Yeah," said Chizuru, with a smile. She realised she still had her fingers in Heisuke's hair, and that it wasn't just their faces that were close. "Um. I think your hair should be stable now."

"Thanks."

They both sank back down until the water reached their chins.

There was a splashing sound and they were approached by a young woman. "Excuse me young ladies," she said. "Have you seen my kid?"

"About four feet high?" said Heisuke, "Round head? Likes making faces at people?"

"That's the one," said the woman with a sigh.

Chizuru pointed. "I think you want to go that way."

"Thank you," said the woman, and started swishing through the water in the direction the child had run. "Yamada Ren!" she shouted. "Stop causing trouble or I won't bring you here again!"

"That lady needs to get her eyes checked," muttered Heisuke, as the woman walked away. "We're not that short." He didn't seem especially annoyed, but it was still strange to reminded that to Heisuke, being seen as a woman felt bad, and that he expected Chizuru to feel the same way.

They sat quietly for a while, enjoying the warm water. Bathing on the road was an unpleasant affair at this time of year, so this was the first time in a while that Chizuru had felt properly clean. The steamy air rang with the cheerful voices of the people of Edo, discussing business and family and their favourite books. A middle aged couple sitting nearby were the loudest voices, having an argument about which of them was responsible for their son being such a no-good layabout. Eventually they settled on it really being the son's wife's fault, and started talking about politics.

"Well I hope you're happy," said the man. "Your precious Emperor is in charge, all that peace and prosperity you said would happen should be just around the corner, right?"

Heisuke winced. They'd all been so focussed on looking for Kodo it had been easy to miss how much the political situation in the outside world had been changing. Chizuru wasn't sure how Heisuke felt about it all now, though she did know he'd lost his faith in the Guardians Of the Imperial Tomb, even before they fell to the Shinsengumi.

"Don't blame Emperor Meiji," said the woman. "He is a good and noble young man. If there's war, it'll be the Shogun who starts it. He doesn't want to admit he's been beaten. But he'll learn his place soon, him and all his treasonous thugs."

"They're not thugs!" said the man. "They're patriots! Ok, except maybe those Roshingumi or whatever they're called. But most of the Shogun's men..."

"Want to get out and grab a snack?" said Chizuru.

"Yeah," said Heisuke. "I think that's enough bathing for now."

Even once they were dressed they couldn't find Yamazaki. They decided he would just join them at the inn later, and started making their way back. On the way there, Heisuke insisted Chizuru try what he claimed was the best odango in Japan. She wasn't sure it was any better than the odango they sold in Kyoto, but it was pretty good, especially when she was eating it with Heisuke.

They chatted cheerfully in the restaurant, but once they got back onto the street he got a little quiet. Then he said, "Um, so, Chizuru." He paused. "What was that Kimigiku was saying about Princess Sen and, um, you?"

"Oh," said Chizuru. "Princess Sen, um. Asked me to marry her."

"What?" said Heisuke. He stopped in the street and just stared at Chizuru for a few moments. She self consciously looked at her feet. "I knew you two were friends," he said, "But..." His voice got a little high and wobbly. "Has she fallen in love with you? Not that that would be...surprising. But...um...wow." He trailed off into silence.

"Oh no, she's not in love with me!" said Chizuru. Sen had been very clear on the subject. She seemed to see love as a cute but bizarre quirk that other people had to worry about. "We really are just friends. But she said it was really hard for her to find men she was able to be friends with, especially demon men. And she doesn't want to marry a man she doesn't like and trust. That's why she asked me."

"Oh," said Heisuke, his voice still weak. "And you...said no?"

"Yes!" said Chizuru. Oh dear, had that not been clear? "I like Sen-chan a lot. But...but I'm not sure I want to married to the leader of a demon clan."

"Aren't you already the leader of the Yukimura clan?"

"Yes but that only has th...two people in it," she said. Chizuru had never thought she'd use the ability to banish people from her clan, but she was absolutely banishing Kodo the first chance she got. "The Yase clan has hundreds of demons in it. Sen-chan said I could keep being a Yukimura, but our, uh, children would be Yase, and be raised to rule the village. Having that responsibility...I'm not sure I can do it. And I just..." All the reasons being Sen's husband would be a nightmare threatened to utterly overwhelm Chizuru, even without the worry about what it would mean for her and Heisuke. "I just don't want to marry her."

"Well then don't," said Heisuke. "I think it's pretty cool you got proposed to by a princess, but you should marry...marry whatever kind of girl you really like."

Did he think that was something she wanted? Was it something he wanted? "What if I don't..."

"Excuse me," said Yamazaki, appearing next to Chizuru without warning. She managed not to let out an undignified squeak.

"There you are!" said Heisuke. "Where have you been?"

"I was listening to various conversations," said Yamazaki. "A public bath is a good place to gauge the general sentiments of the population."

"Huh, I guess that makes sense," said Heisuke. "So what did you learn?"

"People are worried about the possibility of war," he said. "And trust in the Shogun is very low, especially since the return of Imperial rule."

"...yeah," said Heisuke.

"I'm sorry I dragged you two away from Kyoto," said Chizuru. Because if there was to be war, Kyoto was going to be in the centre of it. "I'm sure you want to be supporting the Shinsengumi."

"I'm supporting Kaoru-kun and Sanan-san," said Yamazaki. "And Kodo-san is a significant threat, to the Shinsengumi and the country in general."

"And I'm...we're supporting you," said Heisuke. "That's important too."

"Thank you," said Chizuru. It was hard to believe that she had such friends.

"Um," said Yamazaki. "Speaking of overhearing conversations...I couldn't help but overhear you talking."

"Yes?"

"Well. I was hoping you could tell me...Marriage is very important in demon society, isn't it?"

Was Yamazaki curious about Sen and Chizuru as well? Why did he care? He'd never seemed like much of a gossip. Maybe he was just being an interested friend.

"Well..." said Chizuru. "It's very important to female demons. Because there's so many more of, um, us, most male demons don't get married, or marry human women. But demon women are expected to marry demon men, at least if they're a princess like Sen-chan. Or...or pure blooded, like Kaoru." She sighed.

"Hey it's ok," said Heisuke. "We'll find her."

Chizuru nodded.

"I'm sorry," said Yamazaki. "I realise it's a painful subject for you. I shouldn't have brought it up."

"No, that's ok," said Chizuru. "I'm worried but...I can't just stop talking about everything that makes me think about Kaoru. Because everything does." She shook her head to clear her thoughts. "And I realise demons are pretty weird to humans, it makes sense you'd have questions."

"Thank you," said Yamazaki. "Then I was also wondering..."

"Yes?"

"Never mind." He coughed awkwardly, and Chizuru's curiosity was piqued.

"It's ok, Yamazaki-san," said Chizuru. "I really don't mind you being curious."

He looked away, and his face went a little pink. "Do you know...if Kimigiku is, uh. A pure-blooded demon?"

Heisuke let out a triumphant whoop. "Ha! I knew you liked her!"

Yamazaki's eyes went very wide. "Keep...keep your voice down!"

"I'm pretty sure she isn't following us," said Heisuke with a grin. "Though I guess with you ninjas you can never be sure."

Yamazaki let out a low groan. "This is so embarrassing." He covered his face. "I don't even know if she'd consider a human man like me."

Chizuru felt sorry for Yamazaki, but seeing him this embarrassed was also adorable. She laughed. "Kimigiku isn't pure-blooded. Her family are commoners, too. So she can theoretically marry whoever she likes."

"Oh," said Yamazaki, with a small pleased smile.

"But, um. She's very proud of being a demon, and committed to her duties to Princess Sen. Demons are pretty conservative about relationships outside of marriage. And yo...anyone who married her would probably have to move to her village, and live as a demon." Assuming that was even possible, generally demons who married humans had to leave their village entirely. But she decided to be optimistic, for Yamazaki's sake.

"Oh," said Yamazaki, with a more grave expression. "What are demon villages like?"

Wow, he must be pretty serious. Chizuru tried not to let her personal prejudices colour her answer. "A lot like human villages, on the whole. And I think...I think Yase village is pretty nice. From what I've heard."

Yamazaki nodded.

"You're a great guy," said Heisuke. "I bet she'd totally be into you. And she definitely doesn't object to human men."

"What do you mean?" asked Yamazaki.

"Oh, that's right, you weren't there when we met her!" said Heisuke.

"You mean when she was pretending to be human?" asked Chizuru. She'd missed it as well.

"Yeah!" said Heisuke. He spread his hands and took on a classic story-telling tone. "Ok, so. Like a year ago, Sano took a bunch of us out for drinks in Shimabara, and Kimigiku was there, all done up as a oiran. She kept flirting with Hijikata-san and he was all..." Heisuke lowered his voice, and did a fair impersonation of Hijikata's gravelly tones, "Ah yes this happens to me all the time, but then it turned out she was just trying to find out information on the Shinsengumi for Princess Sen." He grinned. "Later on Kimigiku and Princess Sen came to headquarters, which is how we found out who she was. Hijikata-san tried to play it off like he'd known she was pretending to be into him the whole time, but he totally had no idea." Heisuke gave a long laugh.

Yamazaki frowned. "I fail to see the point of this story."

"Well, I mean, if she's willing to flirt with Hijikata-san and work as an oiran then she can't think humans are totally disgusting."

"People often do things in the course of their employment that they find distasteful," said Yamazaki. "Especially those employed as spies or oiran. Let alone both." He had a point. Chizuru didn't know if Kimigiku had ever actually slept with anyone for her work, or only pretended to be willing to, but either way she must have become good at pretending to like flirting with men she found unpleasant.

"Ahh..." said Heisuke. "Help me out here, Chizuru, you know Kimigiku better than me! She doesn't have anything against humans, right?"

"No, she doesn't," said Chizuru. "And I'm quite sure she likes you, Yamazaki-san." She hurriedly corrected herself, "I don't know if she, um, like likes you. But I don't see why she wouldn't. You really are a wonderful man, Yamazaki-san. I'm sure you'd make her very happy."

She'd never thought of Yamazaki that way, but looking at him objectively, he was fairly handsome, in the same sort of slim, lightly muscled way Heisuke was. Heisuke was definitely more handsome, though.

"But wouldn't she want someone strong like you, Yukimura-kun?" said Yamazaki, sadly. "Compared to demons, I'm so weak. And I am an outsider to her people."

"Me? Um. I don't think Kimigiku sees me that way." What with her trying so hard to get Chizuru to marry Sen and all. But he did have a point in general. "I suppose that, all things being equal, she probably would prefer to marry a demon man. But..." She gave a weak laugh. "I've met a lot of demon men, and...strength isn't everything. Someone kind, and decent, who'll respect her and treat her well...that's more important. At least that's how...how I'd feel if I was her."

"And you can't know if you don't try!" said Heisuke.

"Mmm," said Yamazaki. "Thank you for your advice." His voice got weak. "Please don't tell her I said anything."

"We got you, buddy," said Heisuke.

After that they returned to the inn and rejoined Kimigiku. Chizuru watched her behaviour around Yamazaki for signs of interest, but she was so restrained and polite it was impossible to guess what she was really thinking.

As evening became night, Heisuke tried to take the four of them out to his favourite restaurant for dinner, but it had closed down in the years since he'd last visited Edo. He settled for taking them to his second favourite restaurant, which was in a very pretty building near the bay.

"Hey, can you guys get us a table?" he said to Kimigiku and Yamazaki, as they entered the building. "I want to talk to Chizuru about something for a second. Don't wait up."

They nodded and walked ahead.

"What is it, Heisuke-kun?" asked Chizuru.

Heisuke grinned and lowered his voice to a whisper. "How about you and me just leave, and leave the two love birds to get to know each other?"

Chizuru clapped her hands with glee. "Yes!"

"Great," said Heisuke. He stood on his tiptoes and waved towards Kimigiku and Yamazaki, who'd just sat down at a table. "Bye guys!" he shouted. "Me and Chizuru are going somewhere else. We'll see you back at the inn!"

"What," said Yamazaki.

"Bye!" said Chizuru.

Heisuke grabbed Chizuru's hand and the two of them ran out of the restaurant, laughing. They ended up grabbing food from a little noodle stall on the street, and afterwards Heisuke took Chizuru down by the pier to watch the ships in the harbour.

"This is nice," she said. "And I'm glad we helped Yamazaki spend time with Kimigiku. I don't know if anything will happen between them, but...I think they'd be good together."

"Yeah," said Heisuke. He sat silently for a while, looking out at the lights over the water, then gave a long sigh.

"Heisuke-kun?"

"Sorry. Just. I never really thought about all that marriage stuff before, you know? Like nobody cares if I get married, let alone who to. Hell, my dad would probably prefer I didn't, doesn't want some grandkid showing up and challenging his real heirs, you know?"

"I'm sure he'd want you to be happy."

"Yeah, yeah," said Heisuke. It was an old argument: Heisuke was the illegitimate son of a feudal lord who paid Heisuke a regular stipend. Heisuke thought of it as hush money for not causing trouble, Chizuru thought it was proof his father cared about Heisuke's well being. Or at least, that's what she argued to Heisuke, without meeting Lord Toudou there was no way either of them could really know.

"And doesn't that mean you're free to marry who you want? Or, um, not?"

"Yeah," said Heisuke. "But it's not like that for everyone, is it? Especially not demons. It sounds like Susumu and Kimigiku might be able to work things out, but there's all this shit Kaoru's dealing with, and even you...you're going to be expected to marry a girl and have kids, right?"

"Only by Kodo-san," said Chizuru. "And I don't care what he thinks." Well, that wasn't quite all there was to it. "By other demons, too, I suppose. But not Kaoru." Certainly not now. "I know I'm supposed to help build the Yukimura clan, but look at what that expectation has done to Kaoru and Kodo-san. And. I...guess...I don't really care about the Yukimura clan?" She stopped, horrified at herself, but realised it was true. "I care about Kaoru. And I'm really sad about what happened to the rest of our clan. But they're gone now, and...I'm not sure I want to make things the way they were. I like having a family, but I don't want to be the head of a demon clan, with a village cut off from the rest of the world. I'm not sure I can live that way again."

"Oh," said Heisuke. "Because of all that stuff that happened when you were a kid?"

She nodded.

"Yeah, that was...messed up. I mean, I don't know the details, and Kaoru told me I shouldn't ask." He laughed gently. "She was pretty scary about it. She's very protective of you." He put his hand on Chizuru's shoulder. "But you don't have to be anything you don't want to be. I mean, I'm sure any clan or village you ran would be great. But as one son of a chief to another, there's no shame in being a nobody. We can be nobodies together."

"Thanks," she said. She smiled at him affectionately. "But you're not nobody to me."

Heisuke blushed. "You're not nobody to me either," he said, with a gentle smile. His hand on her shoulder shifted up to touch her neck, and Heisuke leaned a little closer. Was he going to kiss her? She felt suddenly anxious, but then he looked into her eyes with such a gentle and affectionate expression that she couldn't be afraid. "Chizuru," he said, softly. And then he blushed and looked away. "Um," he said. "Are you cold? I'm a little cold. It's pretty cold out here."

"I don't feel cold," she said. She felt warm from her head to her toes, and full of a feeling she could no longer pretend was anything but love. Love for Heisuke, this wonderful friend who she was increasingly sure loved her too.

But loved her as a man. A pretty, girlish man, but a man none-the-less.

"That's good," said Heisuke. "We should probably go back though."

"Heisuke," she said, and reached for his hand. "Before we go back. There's something I have to tell you."

His eyes got very wide. "Are you married?"

"Married? How would I be..."

"Sorry, that was dumb! I know you're not married! I just...sometimes I think of the worst thing that could happen, you know?"

"Yes," said Chizuru. "I do that too. And I'm not married. I..." She tried to find the words, and failed. "This is really hard to explain. Maybe it's not...it's not anything real. Or important."

Heisuke squeezed her hand. "If it matters to you, then it's important."

She nodded, grateful that he was willing to listen. "Do you remember when we met, while you were still with The Guardians of the Imperial Tomb? And I, um...dressed up undercover with the Watch?"

"Yeah," he said. "That was...that was about the only good thing that happened to me while I was with them."

Chizuru smiled. "It's one of my fondest memories," she said. "Especially how...how we pretended we were an ordinary boy and girl, meeting for the first time."

"Yeah that was kind of fun," said Heisuke. "A bit scary, though, I was worried the other guys from The Guardians of the Imperial Tomb would figure things out."

"Oh yes," said Chizuru. "That was scary. That wasn't the part I liked." She paused, unsure how to continue.

He looked at her seriously, realising she was trying to get across something important. "You liked us pretending not to know each other?"

"Um. A little bit?"

Heisuke frowned. "Something else?" he said. She shook her head and he sighed. "Sorry. I'm being really slow aren't I? Hmm." He pondered. "The...dumplings? No. The...oh." He stopped and stared at her. "Ohhh. You liked the part about being a girl."

"Yes."

"Huh." He tilted his head. "Like...the clothes part? Or the way I talked to you? Or..."

She looked at her hands. "All of it?"

"Ahhhh. I...see?"

She heard her voice shake. "Sorry, it's so weird."

"No, it's not weird." He said. He stopped. "Well, ok, maybe it's a little weird? But not bad weird." He laughed and looked away. "I, uh, liked it too."

Oh. He had said a few things implying he was usually only interested in women, and hadn't thought about men much that way. "You liked pretending I was a girl?" she asked.

"Yeah," said Heisuke, not meeting her eye.

"I'm sorry I'm not one," she said, sadly.

"What?" said Heisuke, looking at her quickly with surprise and concern. "Whoa, no, Chizuru. You're great. I mean it was fun to pretend for a little bit, but I like that you're a guy. I couldn't be buddies like this with a girl, you know?"

"Oh," she said. She felt miserable and ridiculous. How could she be sad about him thinking of her as a woman, and about him thinking of her as a man? Was it even possible for her to be satisfied?

Heisuke's face fell. "That's bad?"

"No," she said, trying not to cry. She was the worst. He deserved better than this mess.

"Sorry," said Heisuke. "I'm...confused?"

"Never mind," said Chizuru. "I'm sorry."

"Chizuru..." Heisuke sounded so small and sad it broke her heart. "I messed it up didn't I? I'm so sorry."

"No," said Chizuru. "You haven't done anything wrong. You've only ever been kind to me. Kinder than I deserve." She sniffed. "It's my fault for wanting impossible things. Can we just forget we had this conversation?"

"If that's what you want?" said Heisuke. "But if you ever want to..."

"Please, Heisuke..." she said. She was barely holding it together, if they didn't change the subject soon she was going to collapse into a ball and wail and he didn't deserve that.

"Ok," said Heisuke. "Do you want to go back?"

She nodded.

They were both quiet on the way back to the inn. Yamazaki and Kimigiku were already asleep, so Chizuru changed in the dark and tried not to make too much noise. And then she closed her eyes and willed herself to sleep.

Kaoru went through his exercises, imagining his sword piercing Kodo's heart with each swing. Thankfully Kodo had always approved of Kaoru knowing how to fight, especially now that they shared a home with hungry Furies who might at any moment decide Kaoru was too convenient a snack to resist. Not they seemed to notice Kaoru most of the time, Kodo's serum had their minds so destroyed they barely seemed sentient, just standing at attention in near silence until commanded to move.

Kaoru wondered exactly what commands Kodo had in store for them.

Kodo had deliberately kept Kaoru and Sanan from hearing much about the world outside their strange little household, but it wasn't hard to see the signs of war on the horizon. Choshu and Satsuma troops would march by, seeming confident of their right to the road, while other travellers muttered about wanting to get away from the South before things got violent.

And while Kodo and his Furies settled at last in a northern Mitsu castle, the various human forces were converging on Kyoto. How did Kondou feel, knowing his troops faced advanced weapons they had no counter to? How was Hijikata planning for the upcoming battle without Sanan at his side? Could Okita even still hold a sword? Kaoru even found himself worrying slightly for Harada and Heisuke and all the others, it would feel pretty empty if he escaped from this mess only to return and find the Shinsengumi dead in his absence.

And of course he worried for Chizuru. Every now and then he'd remember that he didn't even know for sure if Sanan had killed her, then he would push the thought away again. Was she in Kyoto, waiting for war? Or was she still looking for Kaoru? Had any of his messages gotten through? Or was it up to him and Sanan to escape this alone?

He was shaken from these thoughts by the sound of footsteps in the courtyard. But looking back he saw it was only Sanan. It had been a while since Kaoru had seen them: having finally settled into a long-term base, Kodo had returned to his research in earnest, and Sanan had been busy assisting. And, hopefully, learning something of use in return.

"Come with me," they said, as they approached.

"Missed me already, darling?" asked Kaoru.

Kaoru felt Sanan's hand on his back as they leaned down and whispered into his ear. "Not for a second. Now come with me, or do I have to carry you like the irritating brat you are?"

Kaoru laughed and followed Sanan back to their room.

Even when they were alone Sanan kept their voice low. They must have something very juicy to share.

"Kodo has developed a special version of the Water of Life," said Sanan. "One he intends to use on himself."

"On himself?" said Kaoru in surprise. "He is sure he will keep his mind?"

"Yes." Sanan gave a wry smile. "I have apparently been quite an inspiration. He drew significantly on my research."

That made sense: Sanan's main priority had always been to make the serum safe, while Kodo had always seemed much more concerned with making it powerful. Which was all well and good when he was creating obedient slaves, but less helpful when it was his own mind on the line. And it made sense he'd want to gain some of that power for himself: For all that Kodo went on about being a demon his blood was mostly human, and he could barely surpass Kaoru in terms of strength.

"Do you think it will work?"

"Yes," said Sanan. "He will be harder to kill now."

Great. Just what they needed. Kaoru had been looking forward to being able to defeat Kodo in hand to hand combat. That seemed unlikely to happen now. He tried not to lose hope. "But not impossible."

"Oh no," said Sanan. "He will die all the same."

Kaoru grinned. "You say the sweetest things, darling."

Sanan just rolled their eyes. They'd come to terms with Kaoru's flirting, and Kaoru had come to terms with them ignoring it. He still liked to think he was wearing Sanan down.

"Kodo's confident the Water of Life will work on demons?" asked Kaoru. "I always wondered."

"I think it was always designed with demons in mind," said Sanan. "Your bodies are more resilient, and should not suffer the...limiting factors faced by those of us who used to be human." Sanan had yet to learn of anything that would save him from his life being eroded by every use of his Fury abilities. It was another thing Kaoru tried not to think about. "I suspect the bloodlust will be less, as well, as less energy will be required to sustain the transformation."

"You're making me want to take it," said Kaoru, only half joking. If Kaoru stayed at his current level of strength what help could he be against Kodo and his Furies?

And then Sanan nodded and reached into his kimono. "I would not recommend it at present." He took out a small vial of a familiar red liquid. "But there may be a time when it becomes necessary. I will trust your discretion."

Kaoru reached for the vial and held it up to the light. It looked like some strange jewel, the fluid within glittering and swirling. His heart beat faster just looking at it. "Such a little bottle, to contain such power."

"The power is within you already," said Sanan. "It would simply allow you to access it more easily."

Kaoru liked the sound of that. "Thank you," he said. He put the vial in his kimono, feeling excited and nervous to know it was there. "What's it like, to be a Fury?" he asked. "Do you still think you made the right decision?"

"Yes," said Sanan. "Despite everything I have done...I have no regrets. Perhaps I should, but I am who I am." They held up their left hand, and spread out their fingers, looking at the limb whose injury had inspired them to drink the elixir in the first place. "Even before I lost the use of my arm...I had considered it. I am a samurai, and to be a samurai requires strength. The Shinsengumi's enemies are numerous, and powerful. if I am to defeat them, I must be as strong as possible." His smile turned sad. "If I must die to achieve that...so be it. And there has always been blood on my hands, nothing about that has changed."

A fatalistic philosophy, but one Kaoru could respect.

"As for what it's like..." continued Sanan. "Most of the time, I feel exactly the same. Or perhaps I should say, I feel as if I feel the same. I suspect I have become more bloodthirsty, even when I am not overcome by a desire for blood. But my will is strong. And thanks to your help, I have been able to resist the pull of madness. The pain can be intense at times but..." They stopped, and then they started to laugh weakly.

"Sanan?"

"Speak...of the devil..." they said. They gasped, and bent over, and their hair went white. And then they made a heart-wrenching cry of pain, their hands spasming.

Kaoru started to undo his sleeve. "I told you you should have drunk from me already. And you've admitted yourself that only demon blood can truly overcome the Water of Life."

"I hate to...to burden you with this," said Sanan. "You are already surrounded by monsters. You should not have to feed one as well."

"Better me than someone else," said Kaoru. Let me do this for you. He cut his arm. Sanan had been right: it did hurt a lot less than his hand. "Hurry up and drink, before it heals."

Sanan stared at him, and at the blood, and then reached for Kaoru, too overcome by pain and hunger to resist any further. They were gentler than they had been the first time, but it still hurt, the sting of the cut and the strange feeling of blood leaving his body. But there was an intimacy to it too, Sanan standing so close, their hands on Kaoru's skin, their mouth on and in Kaoru's body. At first they seemed fevered, almost mindless, but eventually, their breathing became less laboured, and they became calm.

"Thank you," they said, as their hair became dark and they slowly let go of Kaoru's arm.

"It's no trouble," said Kaoru.

"No trouble," repeated Sanan, with a dry laugh. And then they put their hand to Kaoru's face, their fingers gently tracing the edge of Kaoru's jaw. Kaoru's skin tingled every place they touched. "But I trouble you greatly, don't I, Yukimura-kun?"

"Yes," said Kaoru, in a hushed tone, not wanting the spell to break. "Don't ever stop."

"Sometimes I wonder what would have become of me if you had not given me your blood," said Sanan, their expression cool and thoughtful. "If it is you who has let me retain what is left of my humanity, of my principles."

"If it wasn't for you I'd be dead, or worse," said Kaoru. He put his hand on top of Sanan's, feeling the warmth of their skin, and the rough callouses against his cheek. "I think I got an even trade." And then, because he wanted to, he turned his head and placed a single kiss in the centre of Sanan's palm. He looked up at Sanan, and for just a moment felt that connection again, that sense of all their differences falling away. Then Sanan took back their hand.

Kaoru sighed. "Well, let me know if you ever need my blood again," he said. "You know where I'll be."

"Trapped here with me, yes," said Sanan. "I am unlikely to forget."