When he'd returned, Sherlock had told John that he was impressed by Sally Donovan.

"Huh?"

"She may have some prejudice against me-"

"May? She hates you. Calls you freak."

"And? Have I ever done anything to disabuse her of those beliefs? You may think that she took what Moriarty left simply to spite me..."

"She did Sherlock."

"No. If she wanted to spite me, have me removed from Lestrades team, Sally could have done so far earlier. At any point really."

"Wait? What?"

"Not important now. What is important is that she saw it. It was flawless proof. You stood for me because of what you think of me. If that evidence had been real? You still would have stood for me. I would never respect her if she had not taken that evidence to Lestrade. When he-the idiot-ignored it, she went to the commissioner. She did the proper thing."

"The 'proper thing'? You didn't see her after you were arrested."

"Smug?"

"Very."

"Sounds like something I'd do."

"Did someone hit you repeatedly on the head when you were gone?"

"No, but as some simpletons say; 'my eyes have been opened.'"

"If you are using my death to-to somehow absolve certain people for whatever reason."

"She's not cruel. She's been defending herself from me. I'd never use your death..."

"Tell that to Mrs. Hudson-Mister "'I can't clean the kitchen.'"

John seemed intent on finding out more. Several days later, as he sat in his chair, he looked at sherlock for several minutes;

"What?"

"Why does she call you freak?"

"What would you call someone who came barging into your place of work, insulting you and enjoying death?"

"She's-"

"John, why are you so able to forgive me when I insult and degrade others but so unforgiving when they do the same? Or defend themselves?"

"She, they...none of them know you!"

"And you don't know the real reason she calls me freak. Have you still not figured out that that first night, when I insinuated that she and Anderson were sleeping with each other, I was lying?"

"Why would you do that?"

"To impress you, obviously."

"What did you do to her?"

"That is something I will not tell you."

"You faked your death, made me think I was responsible in some way. Do you really think there's anything you can do to make me hate you?"

"It is between Sally and myself."

"You should apologize."

"I never apologize."

"You should apologize."

"And what will that do? What will an apology impart? Apologies mean nothing."

"Yes they do. You asked for my forgiveness when you returned."

"That was different"

"Not really."

Sally was standing in the basement of Scotland yard. Piles of paper surrounded her.

"Donovan."

"Freak. Lestrade says you've been making amends. This some AA thing?" Sally turned "you haven't suddenly found religion."

"No. It's John."

"I really miss him."

Sherlock cleared his throat.

"After everything, I thought he'd ignore me."

"But he didn't."

Sally lowered her head and looked at the floor "no. I like Bond movies and one day, when the team was out, he'd joined us. Heard me talking about the movies and books. After that? Well, we'd meet when we could, watched all of them. And then the Rugby" Sally raised her head and laughed.

"Molly told me about that. How were you able to get him on the team?"

"You know that big bloke? Thompson?"

"Lives in the basement of his mothers home, collects tea-cozies, does LARPing."

Sally snorted and then grinned "Well, John was talking about when he used to play. Thompson laughed at him."

"Not good."

"Very not good" Sally sobered for a moment at the words "John bet him fifty quid he could tackle him."

"What happened to Thompson?"

"Bad back for a week. When Lestrade and I were discussing it, Thompson insured John was on the team." Sally looked at Sherlock "why are you here? Really."

"I've come to apologize"

"For what?"

"For what I did. I never told John, I don't know what he would have thought of me, but it is between us.

"So, you're apologizing because of John."

"No. I'm apologizing because I was wrong. I'm apologizing because you deserve it. I hardly say this, and rarely mean it...Sally Donovan you are very clever. I trust you. I don't blame you for your suspicions about me. In fact, I admire them."

Sally shifted and let out a slight huff "Admire that I thought you could be a murderer?"

"Quite."

"Why?"

"Because I could be. I won't be, but I could be."

"I don't think that now."

"But you did, and you were right to think it, based on my actions."

"Then why..." Sally rubbed here eyes.

"I couldn't exactly let people know that."

Sally chuckled "yeah" Sally watched Sherlock "John once said that you know more about emotions, more about 'social norms' than anyone he'd ever met. He said that you built all of..." Sally waved her hand in Sherlock's direction "...this 'Consulting Arsehole Detective' so you could get at the root of everything. That annoying people, being cruel, was a far more effective way to get attention. I believed that...but...because-"

"Because of John. Of what he was able to gain from others by sheer goodness."

"Don't forget intimidation. And murder."

Sherlock blanched.

"You are the one who said I'm clever. He shot that cabbie." Sally held her hand up as Sherlock stood "I've told no one. Save you."

Sherlock settled back. "I'm sorry, for what I did all those years ago. I'm not one easily ashamed."

Sally shrugged "are you ashamed?"

"I am now."

"Because of John?"

"Yes."

"Is it only because of him?"

"No. What I did was inexcusable." Sherlock looked away "why didn't you report me? If you had I'd never have been allowed back, even with my brothers influence."

"Because as dangerous as I thought you were, you found them. The ones that deserve to rot."

Sherlock nodded "I don't know when I'll return."

Sherlock turned and began to leave.

Sally leaned forward "If you ever fancy a Bond movie, ring me. Sherlock."

Sherlock stopped walking, shook his head, and then continued.

This is John. Forgiveness.