Chapter 11

Robert had never thought he would end up as angry and frustrated as he was at the moment. Somehow even the slightest hints of disloyalty made him furious. He needed his family to stand by him, united, in a time like this. Why couldn't they understand that? He felt himself fly off the handle more and more often. He had such mood swings. As he ate his dinner he closely watched Cora's every move and listened carefully to the things she said. He felt nothing. It was like she was a blank page, like someone had spilled water on it and made the text all blurry. He couldn't quite find the woman he once loved. Ever since she lost the baby they had slowly but surely drifted apart. She did everything she could to annoy him, or at least it seemed like it to Robert. She didn't respect him anymore and it annoyed him immensely.

Later on, when Sarah was about to go to bed, Thomas caught up with her.

"Where have you been? Have hardly seen you all day." he said.

"Ah, nowhere. Been busy, that's all." she replied, not wanting to admit that she had been avoiding him. And avoiding everyone really, since she witnessed what had happened between Cora and Robert before dinner.

"Heard your Ladyship discuss your replacement at dinner, seems she's found just the one." Thomas said, no doubt trying to provoke her.

"'Tis not me they're replacing, it's the Dowager Countess who's in need of a new maid. We got it wrong." she practically spat at him.

"Woah, no need to be all dramatic. Was just informing you, that's all. But hey, great news, you'll be staying then?"

"Suppose so."

Her relationship with Thomas was getting more and more tense by the day. She just couldn't listen to his nastiness and his jokes anymore, she was too busy trying to figure out where her own life was headed. Well she thought that obviously it was headed one way for sure; straight towards losing her job. No good would come out of this, that she was sure of. So why in heaven's name didn't she stop this foolishness and pretended it never happened? She was in all honesty getting tired of her own thoughts, it seemed they were only endlessly repeating themselves. And she could never come up with any solutions or anything that could help her out of this.

When Sarah came up to the servant's bedroom corridor she heard muffled voices from one of the rooms. She quickly realised said voices belonged to Anna Smith and John Bates. What he was doing in her bedroom she didn't want to contemplate on, but it was their conversation that interested her. So she found herself eavesdropping – again.

"No I swear 'tis all true! I heard it myself!" she heard Anna whisper, but luckily she was whispering quite loudly so Sarah had no difficulty hearing her.

"You must be mistaken, his Lordship would never..."

"You think too highly of that man! The war changes us all, it has changed him." Anna interrupted.

"I can't disagree the war changes everyone, but don't you think it's a little bit odd..."

"Odd? I think it very odd indeed the war changes a man enough to violate his own wife!" Anna shouted.

"Don't shout, someone might hear you. How come you heard this?" John whispered.

"I was just passing by after bringing Lady Mary a warm blanket after dinner. I can't believe he would do such a thing, the girls's rooms are so closely located to theirs! I know for a fact Lady Mary must've heard it, it started just after I left the room." she whispered back.

Sarah felt her heart raise. After dinner? That meant this was the second time today Robert.. Good God. She felt rage towards that man, rage. As she walked towards her room she found herself wondering how long had this been going on. She clenched her fists and tried to calm herself down. No one has the right to hurt her, she thought to herself.