Author's Note: This might be the last chapter up for a few days. We have like 10 billion school projects all due next week. :( I haven't exactly come up with a plotline yet but, I'll write something. Disclaimingness: Don't own Twilight or Nanny 911 or Josh Groban.

Chapter Eleven:

Nanny's POV

After that strange girl left, I took the opportunity to talk to Edward. He was really cute. Not as hot as his father, but probably easier… We were alone up in his room. "Hello Edward. I haven't really had a chance to introduce myself. I am Nanny Debrah." He stared past me with a vacant expression. He got up and walked over to his wall of CDs. "What do you listen to?" he asked.

"Rap," I replied, "I'm down with the kids." His expression was kind of hard to read but, I think he looked impressed.

"Yeah man, you're da bomb." He said I was da bomb. That's awesome. I felt giddy. He picked up a CD and put it into the stereo. Out came something instrumental. And it wasn't even in English. Ugh. He seemed dazed as he swayed slowly to the music, a cheesy grin held on his face. "What is this crap?"

An angry, shocked look crossed his beautiful features. "It's Josh Groban, Alla Luce Dal Sole, and it is way better than rap." He sneered out the word. "Just remember, you can't spell crap with rap."

Ok… I should talk to him about all of his odd behavior. "Edward, I think we should talk about your behavior. You spend all of your time with Bella, you sneak out in the middle of the night to see her, you keep fighting with your brothers, and last night you went out drinking. That is not acceptable behavior and it needs to stop."

"Let's see, I love Bella with everything that I am. Why would I not want to spend time with her? I know what you're thinking, and that's not why I sneak out to see Bella. I watch her sleep. Emmett's an idiot. Plus, we're guys. It's all good-natured hitting. It's fun. A hard concept, I know. I don't drink. That was the first time ever. I only did it because I didn't want to face Alice's shopping wrath."

"Alice's shopping wrath?"

"She threatened to make me try on dresses for her to buy. Trust me, she would have found a way."

For some reason I didn't doubt that. I decided I would take today to talk to all of the children individually. I excused myself from the room and went looking for Emmett. I couldn't find him so I asked Carlisle if he'd seen him. "He's on the roof." On the roof? What kind of horrible parent let their children go up on the roof? I found a way onto the roof through a window and spotted Emmett standing with a look of deep concentration. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"Flying. Could you please be quiet? This takes a lot of concentration."

"Emmett, I don't think you should be-" Before I could get a whole sentence out he had run across the roof and jumped into the trees. I watched in horror as I waited for the crash that would announce he'd hit the ground. But it never came. He reemerged from the trees a little ways from where he had entered. He was completely unharmed! I hurried off the roof and through the back door. Emmett was looking displeased. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I hardly got any distance with that flight," he complained. I couldn't believe it. "Emmett can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure."

"Why do you keep trying to fly?"

"I know I can. I'm just not trying hard enough. How cool would it be to actually fly?" He mumbled something that sounded like, "Maybe Rosie would like me if I could fly."

"Emmett if you keep jumping off things, you are going get hurt."

"No I won't. I'm indestructible!"

"It may seem that way, but someday you will get hurt."

"But-"

"Don't argue with me. Now go inside and stop jumping off things."

He stomped back inside, mumbling under his breath the whole way. I figured I'd finish off the guys and talk with Jasper. He, of course, was with Alice. They were making out in the kitchen. I asked Alice to leave and she ran away crying. "Hello Jasper. How are you?"

"Sad."

"Why are you sad?"

"You made Alice cry."

"Why would that upset you?"

"I love her. I'm very attuned to her emotions."

"Why do you love Alice? All you ever do is spend time with her. Don't you have any other interests?"

"I can't help loving her. She's like a matching puzzle piece for me. Even though we started out so far away, fate brought us together. And I do have other interests. I like going through Civil War history books and pointing out what they got wrong."

"How do you know they're wrong?"

"I know things."

"Ok…" He started giving me death glares and I decided I should talk to Alice so they could be back together. Before, he annihilated me. I went up to her room and heard laughing coming from her closet. I entered into the biggest closet I had ever seen, and found Alice rolling on the floor, clutching her head laughing. "What's so funny Alice?"

"Chocolate, haha, frog butts!"

What. The. Heck. "No seriously, what's funny?"

"An image of two girls fighting over who had to eat the chocolate frog's butt just popped into my head. It's hilarious!"

"Alright, so what do you like to do for fun?"

"Jasper." Did she just say…? "And shopping! I love shopping!" She was bouncing up and down almost too fast for me to see. No more sugar for her…

"The rooster crows at midnight!" she yelled suddenly. "But roosters don't crow; they cock-a-doodle-doo. And if I were you-oo I would watch out for that rooster. You never know when it may come flying off the roof and land on your head. Same applies to Emmett. Oh and we do have a rooster on the roof. It's a weather vane!"

"What is this?" I asked her cornfusededly.

"It's a game!"

Ok, no more caffeine for her either. "I'm gonna go talk to your sister, Rosalie."

"Ok, but remember, the game never really ends. Someone, somewhere, is being chased by monsters." I was getting kind of scared, so I left quickly to find Rosalie. She was standing outside Edward's room. I could still hear that awful music coming through the door. "Rosalie, can I talk to you somewhere else? Anywhere else?"

"Sure. I was about to go to my Edward shrine anyways."

I followed her to her room and, sure enough, in one of the corners was a shrine dedicated to Edward. The shrine consisted of the usual clichés such as a lock of his hair, a piece of chewing gum, and several pictures. There was also a pair of his pants, a vial labeled venom, a vial labeled urine, a poem about melons, and a few pieces of math homework. There was also a karyotype map, DNA analysis, and fingerprint and dental records. She was the other extreme of stalkerish obsession. "That's a very interesting shrine you have there."

"I'm still missing a few things. Like Bella's head on a stick or a life-sized statue. You know, stuff like that." She replied quite nonchalantly.

"Umm… why do you hate Edward's girlfriend so much, Rosalie?"

"She's a bad influence! She makes him sneak off in the middle of the night to see her. And I think she might be bi. I mean, I can't let Eddie get hurt like that once she realizes she likes Jessica more than him." She seemed really upset. I should definitely tread lightly here.

"Rose, tell me. What do you think of your other siblings?"

"Edward is the hottest, most amazing, adorable guy in the whole universe! Jasper is creepy and he gets really geeky whenever he talks about the Confederacy. Alice is cool, because she agreed to help me kidnap Edward and play dress-up." She started smirking, it was sincerely sinister.

"What about Emmett?"

"Freak." She murmured.

"Why do you think he's a freak? He really looks up to you."

"He thinks he can fly. Need I really say more?" She asked sarcastically.

"Okay. What about your parents?"

"Mom's gone off the deep end. That's why you're here. Dad is so much cooler this week. He offered to steal us a car to kidnap Edward in."

"Okay. I'm so glad I got a chance to talk to you." I said, still a little scared. Then I ducked out of her name as she began chanting some poem about Edward.

Edward's POV

I was really, really, really, really hungry! I went down to the kitchen while Rose was still chanting to her shrine. I didn't expect to find much in this house where no one eats. I opened a cabinet. There was a red box with a cheese wheel on it. Cheez-its, hmm…didn't sound too bad. I opened the box and shove a handful in my mouth. Holy guacamole! It was beyond awesomenessio! It was just so cheesy and salty and…and SQUARE! My insides were going haywire. I needed more Cheez-its. I'd just eaten the whole box in forty-seven seconds. I got out my cell phone and called Bella. She answered the phone. "Hello, Bella. Do you have any Cheez-its?"

A/N: Don't own Cheez-its, although they are the greatest food known to man. And the quote about monsters that Alice said was taken from the winning speech at the end of Pacman Arrangement. Sorry this took so long. Oh and if you can guess where we switched writers, Edward will write you another poem! And if anybody wants to do my homework I would be so happy. Edward might even write you two poems! And if you get the quote from the Twilight movie, Eddie will write you a third poem. Lol. JK about the homework.