Disclaimer: Don't own

Sorry for not updating for a couple of days, this chapter is a little longer than usual to make up for it ;) I hope you enjoy this chapter, I'm planning on sending Pony home within the next couple chapters, I'm not quite sure when during the chapters but, we'll see what happens.

Ponyboy's POV

When Cox returned he was different. He barely spoke and when he did he never swore, I'd grown worried of him as he grew quieter and quieter each day. I got some letters, Lucy's brother had hurt his back real bad, which is why he got sent home. He had to have bed rest for two weeks. I wrote more letters, talking about the squadron and everyone on it. Everyday I checked in the mirror for a sign of stubble. Time passed and on the forth day back Cox stopped talking at all. Everyone tried to reach out to him. For a week he didn't speak and I was growing a full head of grey hair, when suddenly he began speaking again. He talked, he laughed, he swore, and everything was almost normal again. I could see that these actions were forced. I didn't know what had happened to Cox but, I chose to close my eyes, as along as he acted normal, something I didn't want to risk losing. It was nearing the end of September now. I got a letter from Soda and another from Lucy today, it was real nice to hear from them as it always is. I opened Soda's letter first and sat down on my bunk to read it, it was evening time and everything seemed to be quieting down for the night so it was a good time for me to be able to read without being disrupted.

Dear Pony,

I met Cherry's parents the other night, I went over to her house for supper. Both her father and mother were real polite but, you could tell they didn't like me. I don't understand, Marcia's parents like Two-bit just fine. Actually they love him, they're always inviting him to stay for dinner and seem to enjoy seeing him. They've even offered to hire a tutor to improve Two-bits grades. Marcia has a tutor so when Two-bit was reluctant to waste money on getting him a tutor they insisted on him sitting in with Marcia. He now sits in two sessions a week (Marcia gets tutored for an hour after school everyday). Cherry's parents are way more critical, they don't like the fact that their daughter is dating some greaser drop-out who works at a gas station and let his little brother take his place in the military. Cherry sticks up for my, stays on my side when it comes to this but, I don't know Pony. I love Cherry more than anything, but it's hard when her parents are down my back all the time. What should I do? I know this must sound stupid, I mean compared to what your going through it is stupid, but you've always been so good at figuring out and resolving things like this, I figured you were the person to ask for help. I miss you a lot, when are you going to come home?

I love you,

Soda

I was frowning by the time I finished the letter. I quickly grabbed some writing materials and got ready to write Soda back. I didn't move the pen for a few minutes, it just rested in my hand, posed on top of the paper ready for it's ink to spill out and form words. I thought about his problems, and how Soda felt they were stupid. but they weren't, which is how I began writing my letter.

Dear Soda,

If it's troubling you then it's absolutely not stupid, and don't ever tell me your problems are stupid compared to mine again. We're different people Soda, we're going to have different problems, we won't always be the same, my problems aren't any better than yours. You need to give it time Soda. My words of wisdom were suddenly different from what they were before. They were on a whole new level, because hanging around the base had taught me a lot about thing I hadn't heard a whole lot about before. Like sex, sure I had heard about it before. I had heard about it a lot being around the gang but nothing too detailed. Nothing specific or too informational because my brothers had been there and I was the baby. I was the baby Curtis brother which meant both my brothers had always tried to protect me from stuff like that, at the base though, they couldn't protect me from that sort of stuff and I was quite the expert now. I might even give Two-bit and his collection of porn a run for their money. I had a different view on things now and that changed the way I gave advice to Soda. I snapped out of my drifting away thoughts and began to write once more. You need to show Cherry's parents that your not that bad of a guy. Perhaps you could invite her father to do something with you? He wouldn't dare refuse for the sake of refusing because his daughter is dating you whether he like it or not and he wouldn't want to risk her being being upset with him. All in all you need to show them that you love their daughter, and more importantly, you love their daughter without having sex with her. That doesn't mean sneaking around with her and having sex in the truck when you don't think anyone's around (yes, I know about that. Who do you think was the first to discover you? Sorry about Darry getting so mad by the way but, in my defence I was a 12 year old kid, recently orphaned who had just saw his brother doing something he would have rather not seen, it was fairly easy for Darry to beat the information out of me). This means no sex, at all. Also for the moment you should probably keep kissing, touching or anything of the sort on a lower key. If you really love Cherry and she loves you back then her parents might actually see that you aren't some crazy sex macine and that your a good guy. This may be hard for considering in the past you have been known to be a crazy sex machine but, don't give up Cherry because of her parents. She's a great girl. Good luck. I miss you like crazy, I don't know when I'll ever come home.

I love you too,

Ponyboy

Well I hoped my advice helped, and I hoped Soda actually followed it because despite how much he had always tried to hide it I had always know that he was, how should I put this? Sexually active....? I sealed the envelope, adressed it and moved onto Lucy's letter.

Hey Pony,

Joel is finally able to do a little bit of work. He's not suppose to overexert himself the doctor said but, he can still do little chores around the house like some of the cleaning. He helps with the dished too, but he always has to dry because he can't stay standing for long periods of time and drags a chair over to sit when drying (It would be too messy for him to sit and wash dishes). There are some new workers working out on the fields, dad was finally able to hire a couple more men. He only hired three but, it helps, and takes a bit of the load off my shoulders. There's this one who's real strange acting. The other day he was talking to my Ma and asked if she was my father's wife and she of coarse said yes. Then he asked her if she was married and she said yes. Then he told her how could she be when she was the under-age daughter of my father and told her to stop mocking him. He's like that all the time, asking these backward questions and then getting all angry. His name is Gabe. Joel says he thinks Gabe may have taken a bad acid trip awhile back and it messed with his brain. I feel kind of sorry for him, he seems kind of lost, a lot of the time, when he's finished working for the day he stands in one place doing nothing. How's it going for you? Is your friend Cox doing any better?

Bye for now,

Lucy

P.S.

I just realized I don't know what you look like and you don't know what I look like, so here's a picture of me taken about two weeks ago infront of my Mom's garden. If you have one, do you think you could send it to me? If not, I don't mind.

I examined the black and white photo that had been included. The girl in the photo was long and gangly, she had a big happy, toothy smile and you could see her two front teeth were slightly crooked. She had freckles sprinkling her face and shoulders. Lucy's hair was straight and fair but, you see it was thick despite the long length that reached almost to her hips. through her faded overalls you could see a tiny bit of a curve to her figure. She wasn't gorgeous, but she wasn't ugly. I couldn't say she was average because she wasn't. She had some strange difference that broke her apart from most people. I went to my trunk and found a picture of me before my hair had begun to grow back.

Lucy,

Things are going alright, Cox is pretty much back to normal. I think your brother maybe right about this Gabe guy. It was really cool seeing a photo of you, i enjoyed finding out what you look like. This is my most recent photo of myself. It was taken quite awhile ago, I'm not that bald now. I've missed almost a month of school, I actually really miss it. I'm really worried that I'll be so far behind that I'll have to be dropped back a grade. Sure, I would just be in the grade with kids my age but, it still scares me. Universities won't want to give me scholarships if I was dropped back a year.

Sorry this letter is kinda short,

Ponyboy

I mailed my letters off before I fell asleep. The next day Gray died in action, his body was going to be sent home to his family. I'm getting sick and tired of people dyeing. Not just my friends but, everyone. Why can't there just be peace? Everyday I felt myself getting heavier and heavier with the knowledge that I was a murderer, that I used a gun, something designed to kill, to harm, everyday of my life. What was the point of it anyways, was anything being resolved from my killing. From the gooks killing? From Rodge, Evans, Cooper, Morris, Hensen and Booker's death? From how I saw it, all it was doing was eating away at me, tearing me apart.

"Pony, Poooooony. Ponyboy, hello? Earth to Pony, earth to Pony." Stone waved a hand infront of my face. We were eating dinner, I hadn't realized everyone staring at me.

"Hmmm? What?" I responded absently.

"I was asking how that Lucy chick is doing." Brooks told me, watching me pick at my food with concern.

"Oh, um, she's good." I said.

"You know it's kind of weird, you writing to some gril you don't actually know. Do you even know what she looks like?" Parker asked.

"Yes, actually she sent me a photograph the other day." I told him smiling, I really did like Lucy and talking about her seemed to take my mind off of other things. Bad things. Things like this bloody war. "Well, I'm going to go shower then turn in early tonight." I declared standing up and leaving. The showers weren't even indoors. They were outside, behing our sleeping quarters. They were these little make-shift stalls with some old pipes connected. We each had a limited time in the shower because water didn't want to be wasted. Not like anyone ever even tried to go past their limit in the shower, you always tried to get in and out as fast as possible so the freezing cold water didn't chill you too much. After my quick shower, which I had hurriedly washed the soap out of my hair before jumping out and shivering my way over to the barracks. Soon I fell into light sleep, and I could hear the guys walking into the room before quieting down after seeing my sleeping form.

Two weeks later I got a letter back from Lucy and three others, one from Darry, one from Soda and surprisingly one from Steve. I had received a letter from Bob and Johnny last week so they were probably reading my responses right now. I opened Lucy's letter first, in hope that she had a conclusion to my problem and she did.

Pony,

Why don't you ask someone from home to pick up some homework for you. The kind that you don't have to use the text book for. Perhaps you could ask them to take notes for you? You could keep up with school this way, it would be kind of like setting up a certain program with your teachers to help you through some school while your away. I hope it works out for you, I've never had to worry about any of that because as soon as I'm graduated I'm expected to take over the vineyard with my brother so my parents can retire knowing that their vineyard is in good hands. A lot of people ask me 'doesn't it bother you that your future is already decided for you?' and to tell you the truth I don't really care. I like the vineyard, it's hard work but, it's what I love and what I grew up with. What do you want to do with your future Ponyboy?

Hoped this helped,

Lucy

It had helped and I decided I would figure out who to ask to get homework for me after I read the next couple of letters. I wrote back to her in a hurry. The letter I had written about Darry's girlfriend had been discovered by Darry first and he had disposed of the evidence before sending me a very angry letter. I wrote another one to the gang, that did not involve his girlfriend. They still don't know about Cathy.

Hey Ponyboy,

I really appreciate you keeping quiet about my girlfriend now. She's really pretty, her name is Cathy Gray. She had a brother in the military but, he died just recently. I don't know much about him. I don't know his squadron number or anything like that, but I do know his name was Charlie Gray. My breath caught in my throat, Charlie. Hadn't that been Gray's first name?! I turned around on my spot.

"Hey Parker, Gray's first name, it was Charlie right?" I called over to Parker who was reading his own letters from home.

"Huh, yeah." He responded not looking up. I jumped down from my bunk and opened my trunk grabbing a photo I had of us just before Gray died. We had been camping out in the forest that day, having been too far from base to be going back just for some shut eye. Cox had brought the camera, although he acted tuff and denied it, I think he really liked photography. Becker who had been with us at the time had found the camera and began to take pictures of us. Most didn't tun out well but, this one did. It showed me and Gray lighting the fire. Parker was rummaging around in his bag for our rations, and Stone and Brooks were teasing Cox about bringing a camera to something like this. Cox was spazing at them. Everyone was smiling and laughing at Cox who, had a hint of amusement to his expression. I grabbed the photo and went back onto my bunk to finish reading the letter from Darry. His funeral is tomorrow, Cathy has asked me to come along with her. I'm going to go. To support her, they were fairly close. How're you doing?

I love you and miss you so much,

Darry

Pulled out a pen and began to write rapidly.

Darry,

Here's a recent picture of my squadron and I. The guy beside me helping to light the fire. Is that the Charlie Grey you were talking about? If so, send my regards to Cathy. Gray really was a great guy, quieter than most on my squad but, he was funny, kind and gentle. What's Cathy like, you've told me she's really pretty but, that doesn't tell me much.

I miss you and love you too,

Ponyboy

I moved onto the next letter which was Soda's.

Pony,

Her dad and I went fishing, we ended up getting along quite well, he told me to call him Dan. Cherry's mother is still a little bit on the uneasy side about me but, I'm sure it'll just take a little time. I also took your other advice... The "love her without having sex with her" advice, which by the way, where the hell did you get that from?! You're 15 years old, not even old enough to drive and your saying stuff like that, what the hell! Also, I am not "a crazy sex machine"! You better have a good reason for this.

Love ya,

Soda

I snickered, I had expected a reaction from Soda like this. Sometimes he was so funny without even realizing it. I wrote a short response back to him.

Soda,

Could you remind me how old were you when you lost your virginity? I seem to have forgotten, you were 12 or so...

Love ya too,

Ponyboy

Last I opened the letter from Steve, the envelope was larger than the others and had me curious, inside was a couple worksheets along with some notes written in what I vaguely recognized as my last years english teacher's and a letter.

Pony,

I was thinking the other day, you care about school a lot more than I ever did and I could almost picture you ripping you hair out over the fact that you were missing so much, that is, until I remembered you're bald now. Anyways so I went to the high school after getting off of work and talked to your teachers. They agreed to give me notes from your classes and worksheets for you to complete and send back to them. Kind of like school away from school. Heres some worksheets. You better get yourself home soon so you can actually physically go to school. Also, Darry goes out every Friday night now, not that anybody's complaining, it's good that he's taking time to relax a bit, so is it a girlfriend or is he just going out with a bunch of friends to the bar? Come on, I know you know!

I miss you a lot,

Steve

I blinked, surprised by his actions. How had he been able to figure out Lucy and I's idea about school away from school. Oh well, at least it was going to work out. I read through all the notes before picking up the first of the worksheets and began to work through it. Much to my relief it was all fairly easy, despite the fact that it was November and I had missed the entire month of September at school I understood everything and was done within an hour.

Steve,

Thanks a lot for the school work, I was actually going to send a letter asking about something like that. I really appreciate it. If Darry had told me something like having a girlfriend don't you think I would have told Soda by now? Okay so it was a little cruel setting Steve Loose on Soda, but it would be funny and I was a little frustrated with how young Soda still thought I was. Go bother Soda about it.

I actually miss you too,

Ponyboy

By the time I had mailed off all the letters it was late and everyone was asleep. I was going to be real tired tomorrow, which was dangerous, when you were on the battle field, fighting for your life.

Please review, I haven't been getting many lately and it's made me kind of depressed...