Hello! Thanks as always for continuing to read and review! I am so sorry I did not respond to reviews this past week. I literally have no extra time right now because of school, but please know that I do read them all and each one is appreciated!

Bad news time: I have decided I will not be able to post drabbles on tumblr anymore. :( I've been spending too much time on stuff for the fandom so I have had to rearrange my priorities. I will still update this fic regularly, but please bear with me if it gets to the point where I can't post weekly anymore (I will try my hardest, though!). Also, for any of you who are following my other WIP, Go Down in Flames, that fic is on temporary hiatus. Sorry!

I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please leave a review! They are the best possible motivation!

When You Were Young- Chapter 11, "It's the One Thing You Can Choose"

I've been sitting at my desk staring at a blank word document for at least an hour now. I woke up early this morning because I have an essay due tomorrow for my freshmen English composition course. It is not like me to put something off until the last day, but this essay sort of snuck up on me. It's only 3,000 words, which I could normally knock out in no time, but my lack of focus combined with my lack of sleep is really getting in my way.

It was after 3am when Peeta brought me home from Finnick's last night. We had both fallen asleep after… well afterward, and it was 2am when Annie finally broke down and woke us up. She had simply knocked lightly and told us through the door how late it had gotten. After we dressed and made our way downstairs I couldn't stop blushing despite the fact that nobody made an issue of our disappearance at all.

Annie and Finnick were alone in the living room- I don't know where the other two couples had gotten off to and I didn't want to even think about it. Peeta drove both Annie and I home, and I apologized profusely to Annie the whole way to her aunt and uncle's house for having abandoned her with Finnick. She just wore an enigmatic smile and insisted that it was fine, that they had just talked and he was a perfect gentleman.

Over the past few months that Annie and I had been friends, I had gleaned enough of her past in bits and pieces to have a reasonable understanding of what her life had been like and why she had come here to live with in Meadowglen to finish her senior year at a new school. Both of her parents had died tragically in a car accident a few years ago- hit by a drunk driver, both dead by the time the first responders had arrived. Annie had gone to live with her mother's father who was, at best, totally neglectful. In need of some sort of human connection, Annie had started to spend time with too many boys who didn't really give a damn about her. She made the immature mistake that so many young girls make, thinking that she could somehow get love through sex. Before too long, she had developed a reputation which made other girls hate her and made boys only want one thing from her.

Hearing her story it was immediately obvious to me that she was desperately lonely, but most of the kids at her old high school found it easier to judge her and call her a slut. No girls would even associate with her after a while, and none of the boys wanted anything to do with her beyond hooking up. She started getting bullied pretty bad; someone spray painted 'SLUT' on her locker, girls started harassing her on Facebook, false rumors went around that she was sleeping with teachers or that she had gotten pregnant several times and had had numerous abortions.

Over the summer she moved to Meadowglen so that she could get a fresh start. I am really the only friend she has made so far. She finds it hard to trust people, which I can totally understand given her circumstances. For whatever reason though, she and I became friends effortlessly- not an easy thing for either of us to do. I think she recognized something of herself in me- someone who had endured real hardship and who had had to grow up too fast because of it. Every time she would reveal something about her past I could tell she was kind of surprised to have said anything, but I guess sometimes you just meet people that you instantly click with and you somehow know it will be okay. That is what it has been like for Annie and I. She is the first and only close girlfriend I have ever really had.

It has been so nice to have her as a friend because I can talk to her about things that I can't talk to Gale or Prim about… like my relationship with Peeta. And, like everybody I care about, I am probably a little too protective of Annie. She is such a kind and gentle person, so unlike myself, that I worry that someone will take advantage of her or hurt her again. This is why I am leery about her spending time with Finnick. His track record with girls is total shit, and I just don't want Annie to end up in the same situation she was in at her old school. She told me once that she has sworn off sex until she is sure she is in love and actually loved back, but Finnick can be pretty smooth. I'll just have to keep watching out for her… and figure out some way to show Finnick that I have no problem sending a bow through his groin if he hurts her.

I am brought out of my dark thoughts when I hear my phone ring. I'm glad no one is around to witness the huge grin that spreads across my face when I see that it is Peeta calling. I let the phone ring until the last possible minute so that I can stare at the picture that flashes on my screen whenever he calls. It is one that he took of us a few days ago; we are up on his hill overlooking the western valley, my head is on his shoulder and we are both smiling into the camera which he was holding out in front of us. He texted me the picture and I immediately assigned it for his phone calls. I'm pretty sure the same one comes up on his phone when I call him. Whenever I let myself think about it, I am still surprised by all of these silly normal-teenage-girl things I do where Peeta is concerned.

"Hello," I answer, hurrying to pick up at the last minute before my voicemail kicks in.

"Were you staring at the picture for too long again?" he asks, laughing. I confessed the last time he called that that is why I always let it ring for so long.

"Maybe," I say evasively.

He chuckles again, "Well, I guess I can't blame you… I kinda stared at it while I was falling asleep last night," he admits. I'm really grateful that he can't see my blush. When I don't say anything in response he continues, "I just wanted to call and say 'good morning' and make sure you were okay… you know… with last night and everything."

"I'm okay," I'm sure he can probably hear the smile in my voice. "Are you okay?"

"Jesus, Katniss. I don't think I've ever been more okay than I am right now."

"Good." I'm not sure how else to respond to that.

"So, um, would you, like… let me do that to you sometime?"

I think my heart slams to a stop as I register what he means. On the one hand, the thought is really exciting. On the other… I mean, his hand is one thing… But his mouth? I'm just not sure I'm ready for that. I don't know what to say so I just try to turn it into a joke. "Well, that might be kind of hard… I'm not sure if you noticed, but I don't have a penis."

"Katniss, you know what I mean." He is clearly not going to let me off the hook here.

It takes me a while to respond, and when I do I somehow manage to say all the wrong things. "I don't know, Peeta. That just seems so personal, you know? Why do you even want to do that? It's not like it would be any fun for you… We can just keep things the way they are for a while, you know?"

He's quiet for so long I start to wonder if he is going to respond at all. "Peeta?" I finally prompt him.

"Okay."

"That's it? Just 'okay'?" I can tell by the tone of his voice that I have offended him.

"Yeah, what else should I say? I'm not going to push you into something you don't want, Katniss."

"I know that. I never thought you would. It just seems like you're… bothered or something," I say.

"Well, I'm not happy about the fact that you don't want to do something with me because it's too 'personal.' And I'm actually really starting to worry that you didn't want what happened last night-"

I cut him off before he can finish, "What? No, why would you think that?"

He takes a while to respond again. "Your comment about it 'not being any fun' for me. Katniss, if you didn't like going down on me it's okay. I just wish you wouldn't have done it if that's the case. It makes me feel like the biggest creep in the world that you-"

"Peeta, don't put words in my mouth! I didn't say I didn't like it. I did like it! I really liked it." I blush hard and slap my free hand over my eyes as I realize what I have just admitted to, and suddenly I understand his point. Neither of us says anything for a while and I am the one who finally breaks the silence. "I'm sorry. I see your point. You want to do that for me. I'm just… not sure I'm comfortable enough with myself to let you do that yet. It's not about you, it's about me. Does that make sense?"

He sighs and finally says, "Yeah, I get it. I'm sorry. It is totally up to you… I just… I like everything about you, including everything about your body." He is quiet for a second. "I want you to know that. Okay?"

His words bring a soft smile back to my face. "Okay," I answer, "and it has only been a few weeks. Just give me a little time."

"You're right. God, Katniss, I'm sorry. I don't know, I guess I just feel so close to you that I forget how little time we have actually been together."

"I know. Me too. And don't be sorry. I get it."

"Plus, I guess I do sort of have a few years on you," he says, and I'm relieved to hear that his voice sounds lighter. "I started thinking about doing this stuff with you several years ago."

"What?! Really?" I am laughing now.

"Oh yeah," he says emphatically. "Probably since I was like 12 or 13, I'd say."

"No! That's way too young!"

"Okay, well, I probably wasn't thinking about going down on you from that age, but yeah, I was thinking about stuff." I can't believe how open his is about this. "I had definitely started having dreams by then."

I giggle in a very un-Katniss-like way and say, "You know, I had a dream about you, too."

"What?! For real? When?" He sounds really excited by this piece of information.

"I don't know, a while ago. Before we were together. I guess it was after the first time I saw you with your shirt off. Do you remember that day when I saw you after football practice?" I ask coyly.

"Yeah. That day I took you to my spot, right?"

"Yup." I don't have the chance to say more because I hear the doorbell go off downstairs.

"So what was I doing in this dream?" I hear Peeta ask as I stand to head downstairs.

"I'm sorry, hang on. Someone is at the door." I hear Peeta let out a little frustrated growl, but I choose not to respond as I make my way to the front door.

When I open the door I am surprised to see Gale standing there. He looks like total hell, still wearing the same clothes he had on last night, his hair sticking up all over his head, dark circles underneath bloodshot eyes.

"Hey, Peeta, I'm going to have to call you back," I say distractedly.

"Is everything okay?" he asks, his voice laced with concern.

"Yeah, it's just Gale. I'll call you back in a little while, okay?"

"Um, yeah okay. Bye, baby." I am momentarily distracted by the endearment. This is the first time he's called me anything other than Katniss. I think I like it.

"Bye," I say quietly before I hang up.

Gale has made his way into our small kitchen and begins brewing a pot of coffee. I see that his hands are shaking as he attempts to fill the carafe with water so I nudge him out of the way and take it from him. "Here, I'll do it. Go sit down," I tell him.

Once the coffee is brewing I join him at the kitchen table. He is staring intently down at his hands and doesn't look up as I sit down. "What is going on Gale?" I finally ask him.

"Are you the only one home?" he asks quietly.

"No, my mom and Prim are both sleeping," I tell him.

"What time is it?"

"Just after eight. Did you even go to bed last night?"

"No," he says. Neither of us says anything else for a while. I want to know what is going on with him, but I'm afraid to push him. For one, I've never seen him look so upset, and for another, I am afraid I know what is happening, and I'm scared to have it confirmed.

After probably ten minutes of us sitting in silence I get up and begin making both of us a cup of coffee. I am stirring in cream with my back to him when I hear him say quietly, "It's mine."

The spoon slips out of my hand and clatters on the counter loudly in the otherwise quiet kitchen. "What?" I finally ask, although I don't know why. I am perfectly aware of his meaning.

He answers anyway, "The baby… Madge's baby… I'm the father."

"How did this happen, Gale?" I finally ask stupidly because I don't know what else to say.

He glances at me with a look that says 'how the hell do you think it happened, dumbass?' so I clarify by saying, "I mean, I thought she wouldn't even give you the time of day. I thought you were just hung up on her because she ignored you. When did you guys even…?"

"This summer. We kept it secret… She wanted to keep it a secret because of her dad and, I don't know, all of her friends. She didn't want them to know she was seeing a poor Seam punk," his voice is filled with so much bitterness as he spits the last part out. "The first time we had sex was in June and we were basically together all summer. She thinks she has been pregnant since at least early July. She found out in August."

I don't have any idea how I should respond to this so I just stay quiet and eventually he continues, "She broke it off with me at a bonfire in late August. She knew then. She fucking knew she was pregnant and that is why she ended things!" His eyes are wet and his Adam's apple is bobbing up and down as though he is trying to keep his emotions in check. "That same night, at that same fucking party, I saw her making out with Peeta fucking Mellark! How the fuck could she just decide to replace me? Just like that?"

A light bulb goes off in my head at the mention of Peeta's name and I suddenly realize why she freaked out when I asked who the father was the day she told me she was pregnant. She must have realized that she had inadvertently confessed she was pregnant to the baby's father's best friend. "Peeta never knew anything about her being pregnant and he still doesn't. As far as I know, I am the only person she ever told."

"Katniss, I would do anything for that girl. And I know she loves me. I know it," he says emphatically.

"How do you know that, Gale?" I ask because I don't want him to get the idea of them becoming a family into his head if that's not what she wants.

"That night at the bonfire, she told me. We fucking had sex in my truck and she told me she loved me and that no matter what happened she wanted me to remember that. Then afterward she broke up with me and… I just don't understand. Do you think she was just fucking with my head?" He slides his fingers into his hair and grabs two fistfuls and starts pulling.

I reach over and gently grab his wrists to pull his hands away. "Gale, stop that," I say quietly.

"Then a few weeks later- that night we went to Finnick Odair's party- I was talking to that brunette cheerleader and Madge just came up and grabbed my hand and pulled me away. We went into a bathroom and she started making out with me. She kept saying that I didn't love her, that I wouldn't be like this if I loved her. I had no idea where it was coming from or what she was talking about. She's the most confusing fucking girl on the planet!" He gets up now and begins pacing the length of the kitchen. "Then she just left the bathroom saying she had a boyfriend and she couldn't do this. Then like ten minutes later, I don't know what the hell happened, but she just came back up to me and asked me to leave with her… and we slept together again."

"She cheated on Peeta?!" I exclaim. I remember Peeta getting a call from Madge when he was taking me home that night. So that is why she wanted him to hurry back to the party. Because she knew if he didn't she would cave to the temptation to be with Gale. Apparently Peeta hadn't made it back soon enough.

Gale stops pacing and looks at me, "Can we keep some fucking perspective on this please? I think everything has worked out pretty well for Peeta," he says snidely, "What am I going to do?"

"Right, sorry," I say shaking my head. "So I assume when you stormed out of here last night, that's where you went?"

"Yeah, I went to her house. I texted her to tell her that she had better come out and talk to me or I was going to come in and talk to her dad." He sits back down and grabs his hair in his fists again. "I know she loves me, Katniss. God, we fucking slept together again last night even though we were fighting about all of this!"

"So what is she going to do?" I ask softly.

"I don't know. I'm going to help her figure this out. I don't care how much she tells me not to worry about it. Fuck that! I have a right to know what's happening with my kid, and I want to be there for her. There is no way I can let her face this alone."

"Is that what she said she wants? To deal with it by herself?"

"She doesn't know what she wants. She said she went to a clinic; that she missed every day of school for a week and each day she went and sat in the parking lot. But she said she couldn't make herself go in. I know Madge, Katniss. I know that she already loves this baby. I know that she couldn't do that," he says, his voice cracking with emotion.

"What do you want?" I ask after a long pause.

"I want her to have this baby. I mean, it's our baby… half me and half her. And I want to be with her every step of the way," he is emphatic as he says this. This is the Gale I know. The man who will always stand up and do what he needs to do to take care of the people he loves.

"You need to tell her that. You need to tell her that you love her and you are not interested in these other girls, Gale. She may love you, but she doesn't know you like I do. She doesn't know that you will be there for her come hell or high water. She is terrified and that is what she needs to know right now." I stop and think for a minute. "And you also need to come up with a plan."

He nods but doesn't say anything further because we hear movement in my mother's room. She emerges a moment later and surprise registers on her face. "Oh, hello, Gale. You're here early."

"Um, yeah," he says keeping his face averted from her. "I was just leaving, though."

He stands up and to head out the door. I follow him, calling to his back, "Well, call me. Okay?"

"Yeah, I will. I promise," he says just before the door closes behind him.

"He seems to be making a habit of storming out of here lately," my mother observes quietly. She is intuitive, just like Prim, so I know that she knows something is wrong. I also know that she will not ask or try to get me to tell her. I may have some issues with my mother, but I appreciate her willingness to respect my privacy. In this case, that includes Gale's privacy by extension. "Are you hungry?" she asks softly after a moment.

"Yeah, sure," I say. I sit at the table and can't help but dwell on everything Gale has told me about Madge. What would I do if I was in her situation? I would be terrified, for one. In no way could I have a baby right now. I have a very definite plan for my future and it does not include a kid anytime soon, if at all.

Then I think about Peeta. I think about how much I care about him already in such a short period of time. I think about the way my body reacts every time we are alone together. Last night, as Peeta and I were falling asleep in Finnick's guest bedroom, I even acknowledged that I probably would have consented to having sex with Peeta if he had even remotely hinted that he wanted to take things farther.

"Mom," I blurt before I even realize what I am doing, "I think I need to get on birth control."

Her head snaps up to look at me from where she is standing at the counter cracking eggs into a bowl. "Okay," she says slowly. "You and Peeta are…?"

"Um, well, we… haven't yet. But, um, we might, you know? I just want to be safe." My face is blazing red. I know my mom isn't shaken by this kind of stuff- she is a nurse after all- but it is not easy for me to talk about this stuff.

"Okay, I'll make an appointment for you. I think that this is very responsible of you." I appreciate that she is not going to give me some lecture about abstinence or waiting until I'm in love.

I nod my head, and just say awkwardly, "Um, okay, thanks."

She goes back to cooking breakfast, but a few minutes later speaks up again. "I really like Peeta. He seems like a very nice young man and I think he is very good for you."

I can't stop from smiling as I say, "Yeah, I like him too."

"It was so nice to see you two together yesterday. You are so sweet together."

"Mom!" now I am starting to get embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, but it's true. Young love… it is very refreshing to see. Seeing you two together reminded me of your father and me when we first started dating…" she trails off wistfully, lost in thoughts of her young lover. After a minute I hear her humming to herself and I recognize the tune as one of the songs my father always used to sing.

Normally this would cause me to miss my father and feel nostalgic. But right now the only thing I feel is panic. I can't stop my mind from racing back to my father's death and the months following it. I don't want to be like my mother and my father. I don't want to be in love the way they were. I don't want to need Peeta the way my mother needed my father. I have seen what that kind of love does to a person and I want no part of it.

Okay, so that answers a lot of questions I think you all have had, right? It feels so good to write this chapter because I have included all of these little plot details throughout that now finally make sense… or at least I hope they do, lol!

Please leave a review. If you want to check out my previous drabbles you can come check on tumblr. Oh, I also recently posted a blog about why smutty fanfic is NOT a bad thing… So be sure to check that out too. (plumgal1899)

**I apologize for typos in this chapter… I was in a hurry to get it up and get back to my homework, so I didn't proofread as well as I would have liked to**