A/N: I got a message from someone that felt like my bad and crappy english were ruining the whole story, so I want to say sorry for that. If it's many of you that feel that way, I am truly sorry. My only excuse is that english is not my first language, since I'm from Norway.. But anyways, I hope you all enjoy this chapter and please review! :D
"We're here." He leans over and kisses her lips lightly.
The simple touch between their lips makes her crave more immediately.
She takes a deep breath and opens the car door.
When they walk towards the bar she reaches out and takes his hand.
It makes him stop up and look over at her. In his whole lifetime he has never been holding hands with a girl in public. Katherine only acknowledged him in closed bedrooms at nights and all the women after her were only for pleasure and feeding.
This is new to him. This small gesture from Elena means the world to him.
It shows him that she truly cares for him and it makes him feel worthy.
That someone actually can love him one day. That she can.
"What is it?" She asks and looks up at him.
He sighs and sets his eyes in her.
"I love you." He says, his voice filled with so much devotion.
She didn't expect that. Not right now.
She knows that he loves her, she has known it for a long time. And he has told her more than once, but suddenly it hits her. Hard. Again. It wells over her like a flood. And it breaks her heart that she's not ready to tell it to him. That she loves him too. Because every moment she spends with him makes her believe that she does love him and that she has done for a while. And he deserves to hear it. He deserves to hear her say it every day, every minute that passes. No one deserves it more than him
She is just not ready. She is scared, no scratch that, she is terrified.
"I…" She starts.
He places one finger over her lips.
"Don't say anything." He says.
"I understand" He adds and kisses her temple
She smiles at him with blank eyes, so grateful for him understanding her inner battle.
They walk inside the bar hand in hand and he takes out the chair for her and orders fries and beers for them.
It's just like the last time they were here, and she thinks it's exactly what they need right now. She doesn't know how in few minutes that will change for her.
"Open your mouth" She laughs and feeds him fries.
"You're so cute" She squeals and pinches his cheek. He smiles at her and does the eye thing she bets he is famous for all over the country. She can't even imagine the number of girls who must have fallen for that and his other charms.
"You are not so bad yourself." He leans over the table and plants a lingering kiss on her mouth.
"I hope this is okay…" He starts.
"This date I mean, I bet Stefan took you out on all sorts of fancy dinners." He regrets mentioning his brother's name as soon as he sees her face shifting.
Seconds ago she was all smiles and laughter, now he only sees sadness in her eyes.
At first it makes him nervous and sad too, but soon it makes him angry.
"I'll have to be able to say his name without you closing yourself and get sad." He tells her and tries to stay calm.
She looks up at him and breathes in.
"I don't want to talk about it. About Stefan." She whispers.
He wants to be understanding, but it can't be like this.
"We have to talk about him, with him. He is a big part of our lives. Your life."
"Why are you bringing him up now?" She asks desperately with blank eyes.
He sighs and closes his eyes, hates to see her upset. But they have to talk about it; they can't avoid the subject forever.
"I was just casually mentioning his name, and you have a meltdown."
"I'm not having a meltdown."
She doesn't want to talk about Stefan, it pains her to think about him and the last time she saw him. She broke his heart into a million pieces and she has never seen him so devastated. Thinking about it only makes her resent herself for hurting him.
"You are practically crying just hearing his name. Can you please explain this to me? We have to be able to talk about Stefan."
She doesn't say anything. She just looks down at her plate and tries to fight the urge to fully burst into tears.
"He's my little brother, Elena" Damon says quietly.
"I love him"
They are both surprised by his little confession.
Elena has always known he loved his little brother, even though he was trying his hardest to not show it. And trying to pretend that all he wanted for Stefan was pain and misery.
Damon has also always known that he loved his brother, that he was apart of him. That in the end family was all that mattered; he just never thought he would say it out loud. Not ever, not to anyone.
He has spent so many years blaming his brother for turning him, for being in love with Katherine too. All those years he thought he hated his brother, but in the end he never did.
"I know you do" Elena says and looks up at him.
"I still don't want to talk about him right now."
Her eyes tell him to not push it further, but he can't help it.
"But I want to." He says stubbornly.
She get's up from where she's sitting.
"I can't do this now." She says between the tears she no longer eager to fight off.
She storms out and leaves him there, confused, angry and lost.
"Do you mind if I join you?" Caroline asks with a wide smile and a whole lot of enthusiasm.
Stefan looks up at her and shrugs his shoulders, like he doesn't care. Not only about this, but about everything else in the world.
Caroline sighs and sits down on the chair opposite of him.
"Are you okay, Stefan?" She asks carefully and quietly.
"Do you know where Elena is right now?" He asks, without answering her question and without any emotion in his voice.
Caroline shakes her head while eating her sandwich; she isn't sure where this is going.
"In Atlanta" Stefan says and looks down.
"On a date with Damon" He adds when he sees her questioning look.
Caroline reaches over the table to take his hand.
"I'm so sorry Stefan"
He lets out a little laugh, it confuses her and she let's go of his hand then.
"What?" She asks and furrows her brows. It's strange to see Stefan go from emotionless and a little cold one minute to laughing the next.
"You shouldn't say that" He tells her, finished laughing and back to no emotion.
She looks up at him, confused.
"No one should tell me they are sorry or feel sorry for me. I don't deserve it. " He moves his food around on his plate with a sad and distant look in his eyes.
"Why are saying this, Stefan?" She takes his hand.
"I've done some horrible things, Caroline. And I practically pushed Elena into Damon's waiting arms. Everything that has happened is my own fault, and you shouldn't say that you are sorry."
He pushes her hand away.
They sit in silence; Caroline doesn't know what to say to him. The man in front of her is beating himself up, blaming himself for everything bad that has happened. And at the same time he is trying to heal a broken heart.
Stefan doesn't know what to say to her. She won't understand what he's feeling, she can't grasp around the emotions twirling around inside him. But he really wants her to; he wants to open up to her. Because she has a way about her, something that can make him smile in any situation and something that makes him feel a little more human again.
Even though they're both vampires, she brings out a little of the man he once was. The boy who loved a good joke and enjoyed the sun against his skin while running around laughing with his big brother.
The boy that is long gone and never coming back.
"It's okay." He suddenly says.
"That Damon and Elena is dating now. It's okay"
She takes a deep breath and sets her eyes in him.
"But…It's not. You love her so much. I know it." She tells him sincerely.
"I do." Stefan simply states.
"But so does Damon, and every day I was gone and every moment my switch were off, he looked after her. He protected her and cared for her. And healed all the wounds I was making. He deserves her ." He stops and looks down.
"And she loves him." He whispers.
Caroline can't argue that, because she has seen it. She has seen how Elena's eyes would light up when Damon's name was brought up, she has seen the jealousy in Elena's face, and she has seen the loving glances she has been giving the older Salvatore.
"After everything my brother's been through over the last century I'm glad he can be happy now. I owe it to him to stay out of it. Let them be happy. "
"You are such a good guy." Caroline says and gives him her biggest smile.
"Even though you don't think you are right now, I've seen it. All the good you have inside, I've seen it."
He smiles too then, the smile that somehow has been reserved only for her.
"But for the record, I was rooting for you; I've always been team Stelena."
He has to laugh at her.
"You always make me laugh, Caroline." He tells her warmly.
"Is that a bad thing or a good thing?" She asks firmly.
"Good." He states.
Caroline and Stefan don't notice the person sitting in the corner who's been listening to their whole conversation.
That someone is not too happy about Damon and Elena living happily ever after.
It's someone who wants revenge.
Revenge on both of them.
"Elena!" He yells and runs after her, as she runs towards the car.
"What's going on with you?" He asks confused and blocks her way.
"Nothing" She whispers.
"This is not nothing." He says irritated.
She just shakes her head and continues to cry.
"You are regretting this, aren't you?" He says; his voice both angry and sad.
"No!" She yells. She knows she gives him no reason right now, but she wishes he would stop doubting himself all the time.
Doubting her. Doubting them.
"So can you please tell me what this is?" He asks annoyed and tiredly.
"I can't talk about him because I hate myself, the guilt I feel when you say his name consumes me."
"I hate myself!"
They are both standing still, no more words coming out.