"I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens."
― Woody Allen
Chapter 11
"So, are you ready for your next challenge?" Ciel had a smug little smile on his lips, now swollen and red from being bitten in the throes of agonizing bliss.
Alois let out a deep sigh before he snarled his response, "Yes, master. Please be so kind and tell me how I'm going to bust my ass yet again to get one measly hour of your time."
"You get to fuck, too – don't forget about that," Ciel pointed out as he shifted on the counter, smirking at the blonde who was stroking his waist.
"Oh yeah, that's true," Alois agreed, perking up a bit at the prospect of sticking his dick in Ciel again. "So what's the challenge?"
"Well…" Ciel murmured, pinning the other with a mischievous stare, "this wasn't really where I wanted us to fuck after you'd finished this challenge. It was fun and all, but, ehe… next time I want something a little more… thrilling."
Alois groaned, moving his hands from Ciel's waist to let them rest on his thighs instead, giving the male a displeased look. "Please don't tell me you're putting me in a room full of people again."
"Hah… no. I just want you to get us into the principal's office."
"WHAT?!"
"You heard me. I'll only fuck in there," Ciel asserted as he jumped down from the counter, forcing Alois to take a step back.
"You're insane. What's wrong with a fucking bed?"
"Says the one who just fucked me in the school kitchen," Ciel murmured as he pushed Alois aside to bend down and step into his boxers.
"Shut up. I was in pain for fucks sake. It was two weeks ago since we fucked."
"Why don't you call your horde of fuck buddies?" Eyebrows bunched together as Ciel picked his pants up from the floor, inspecting the damage and deeming it irreparable. "This outta be fun…" he mumbled under his breath.
"Because I only want you!" The blonde's tone was harsh, every syllable spoken with the utmost sincerity because it was the undeniable truth. But he was sick of putting up with Ciel's mistrust and overbearing attitude. With eyes on the boy he held dear, Alois began dressing himself, muttering in annoyance, "And you keep insisting on these stupid challenges and you make me wait for weeks. It's cruel."
Ciel snorted in response. "Oh right, now I remember. You're the one who jacks off three times a day. Horny fucker."
The boys pulled their clothes on with spite influencing their movements. For Ciel it was a fun little game – to taunt and manipulate who he viewed as his toy. For Alois it was merely frustrating to listen to the demeaning remarks Ciel sent his way. The blonde was no idiot; he was aware of the other's charade to antagonize him. Still, he couldn't keep his mood in check.
"Yeah, something wrong with that?" Alois spat, almost tearing the fabric of his hoodie as he yanked it in place. "If I remember correctly, you were the one always begging for a fuck on Kik."
"Mm yeah. I kind of miss that."
"Then why the fuck don't we do it anymore?"
"Because you annoy the hell out of me."
"No I don't." Alois suddenly stilled, staring at Ciel as if he had said the most ridiculous thing in the world.
"Yes you do."
"No. I. Don't," Alois repeated, their different shades of blue locking on each other as Ciel mirrored the blonde and ceased his movements. "I know you like me… a little at least."
"What do you mean by that?"
"You haven't left yet."
"What?"
"You're actually having a conversation with me where you're not yelling at me to shut up."
Ciel had no response to that, and as the seconds passed, he became irritated beyond belief. He laced his boots with pursed lips, glaring at the blonde in silence as they got ready to leave. As the males strolled towards the kitchen entrance Ciel finally got some air in his lungs and muttered 'shut up,' even though the other hadn't said a word. Alois only smiled.
Ciel's eyes were as big as saucers, those big blue orbs rolling all over the place like he couldn't believe what he was seeing.
"HOLY SHIT!"
"You said you like a thrill. Trancy delivers."
"No way... this is amazing." Ciel didn't know where to look; he wanted to see it all at once. Without him even realizing it, his heart was beating hard and swelling for the boy who might as well had tapped into his brain and peered at his innermost fantasies.
Alois had brought him to an actual, real life abandoned mental institution. Not much could top this if you asked Ciel; he was in his own personal heaven.
"I know," Alois agreed, his hands getting stuffed into the pockets of his white zip hoodie as he gazed up at the ceiling. "I always come here when I want to be alone."
"I can't imagine you ever wanting to be alone."
"Well I do… sometimes. Like when I'm thinking about you."
"Why would you want to be alone when you're thinking about me?"
"It's just…" the blonde murmured, thinking for a second before he shook his head. "Never mind. Come on, I have to show you around!"
Alois grabbed Ciel's sleeve and started moving his feet, dragging him through one of the corridors. The smaller male couldn't take his eyes off of the old, forgotten medical supplies scattered across the floor, unfortunately accompanied by cigarette butts and empty beer cans left there by other delinquents with the same idea.
"Look at this," Alois said as they entered a large, almost empty room, save for a… bathtub.
Ciel's jaw dropped and his eyes widened. The walls of the room were extremely dirty, the white paint flaking and almost grey now from years and years of being unmaintained. Horrifying graffiti was only intensifying the atmosphere engulfing the young teens. The words sprayed on the walls said things like 'Get out,' and 'The doctor is not happy,' all in crimson, the overflow of red paint dripping down the walls, almost making it look like it was written in blood.
"If I didn't hate you so much I would seriously hug you right now. This is absolutely perfect. It looks just like the room in Grave Encounters. I need to see the fucking bathtub!" Ciel practically ran over to the dirty porcelain container in the middle of the room, hesitantly crouching down beside it as he inspected the inside. "Too bad there isn't any blood in it."
"I knew you'd like this," Alois chirped as he came up behind Ciel. "Maybe we should fill it with water and icing color to mess with people."
"Fuck that would be awesome."
"Yeah, I've thought about doing it a hundred times. We should."
"Shit…" Ciel let his gaze wander across the room, taking in every grisly detail. "I could spend all day in here."
"Let's do it."
"Do what?" Ciel turned his head, exploring fingers getting cold against the porcelain as he looked up at the blonde.
"Spend the whole day in here."
"Was that your plan? Taking me to a place I can't possibly leave so you'll get more than an hour?"
Alois smirked. "Something wrong with that?"
"Hah… not bad, Trancy."
The blonde inspected his fingernails nonchalantly with a smug smile on his lips. "I have my ways to get what I want."
"It's still not a date," Ciel pointed out as he clutched the edge of the tub with both hands and rose to his feet.
"You think I care about what it's called? I just want to spend time with you."
Mocking orbs rolled as Ciel took in what Alois had just said, amused by the amount of sappiness he delivered. "Oh, how romaaantic…" he sung, imitating the blonde's voice from the day he had sprinkled him with confetti.
Alois giggled.
Sneakers and boots tapped against the dirty floor as Alois hurried after a very excited Ciel; the smaller boy's long, dark hair whisked around his neck as he made his way to another room, only stopping briefly to take in the frightening sight of the corridor one more time.
Not many things could creep Ciel out, but a place like this had his guts twisting up like slithering snakes. He was entranced to say the least; the thumping in his chest was not only caused by his slight fear, but also by his building excitement.
The old, run down compound was one of the most magnificent sights Ciel could ever dream of visiting. Besides his books and movies of more gruesome genres, there were few things that managed to genuinely interest him. And being in this place was like stepping right into one of them.
Ciel dug bitten fingernails into damp palms as he entered a seemingly empty room, unable to keep himself from thinking back to the beginning, to when he and Alois had first started texting. It irritated him that the memories had his lips going against his will and curving in the corners, and he shook away the feeling as effortlessly as he could. He brushed it off as a simple reminiscence of older times because, after all, his love for all things horrifying was the thing that had brought the two of them together in the first place.
The sound of a zipper being pulled down ended the brief silence as Alois caught up to the other. Ciel whirled around with a gasp, wide eyes soon narrowing as they landed on the blonde.
"Did I scare you?" Alois teased at the lovely sight of a startled Ciel.
Gazing down at his hoodie, Alois snickered and finished what he had started. Broad, yet lean shoulders came into view as the white fabric fell over his arms, revealing a torso covered in a tight t-shirt.
The cotton of the tee was dyed in a light violet, and the front was printed with a colorful skull. Alois pulled at the bottom hem to cover up the small strip of creamy skin that was visible above his black shorts, lifting his eyes just in time to catch the other in the act of ogling him.
"Lost your words?"
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Ciel spat and quickly averted his gaze, muttering something inaudible as he stomped past Alois. "Let's go somewhere else. Oh, and by the way, I think you put your baby sister's shirt on by mistake."
The blonde was amused by the flustered boy trying to cover up his obvious staring with snappy insults. With a hand on his waist, a small laugh was breathed out before he retorted, "Are you feeling threatened by how secure I am in my manhood? I look good in anything and you know it."
"You're so full of yourself..." Ciel said in a disgusted tone, stopping to give Alois a condescending frown. "You could've at least picked a bigger size."
"I could have, but then the beautiful shape of my torso would be hidden from the world. Wouldn't that be a shame?" Alois' lids were heavy as he sauntered past Ciel and brushed his fingertips over his hand.
"God..." Ciel groaned as he rolled his eyes, following the blonde with aggravated steps.
"Yes?" The blonde danced into the next room, throwing away his hoodie onto a steel table on wheels.
"Really?! You're un-fucking-believable."
"I know. It's hard to get a good understanding of my greatness. It's like imagining a new color – it just can't be done."
Lean arms were raised into the air as Alois twirled on his tiptoes, his tall and slender form hard for anyone to take their eyes off of. Especially for Ciel – even if he did his best to hide it.
"My dick is actually shriveling up as I listen to you."
Alois gave Ciel a bright and teasing smile. "You know what? I actually think you're hiding a boner under there."
"Yeah, you wish," Ciel muttered, focusing on some dilapidated surgical tools that he found on the table next to the blonde's hoodie.
"Ciel..." A breathy moan came from behind the smaller male accompanied by the rattle and whine of rusty metal being strained. "Baby... can you really say I don't turn you on?"
When Ciel turned around he was met with the sight of an old wheelchair looking ready to fall apart at any second, but the teen sprawled out on it didn't seem worried as he spread his legs and swung them over the armrests.
"I can almost see how your balls are tightening," Alois sultrily teased, stroking the insides of his thighs as he leaned back in the chair, letting his silky locks flow out over the backrest.
"Stop it Trancy... you're just making a fool of yourself."
"Oh really?" Alois' hands rode up to move over the bare skin below his tight shorts, the male easing his fingers underneath the dark fabric to tug on it. "If you haul it out and you're as soft as you say you are I'll give you head."
"No thanks. Keep that disgusting mouth away from me." Ciel tried his best not to look – he really did – but his eyes kept magnetizing back to Alois like flies getting drawn to a pile of shit.
"Sure you don't. You don't want my tongue at all, right?" Alois purred as he lifted his hand to seductively trace the muscle in question along two of his digits. Hungry lips suckled on the skin as he exhaled a soft moan, never breaking eye contact with Ciel. "Mmm god Ciel, your cock... it's so hard and aahh shit it's so good I want to fucking milk you... shit."
Ciel sucked in a breath through his nose, gritting his teeth in vexation over both the blonde's promiscuous behavior and his own body completely betraying him.
"Fuck you... I'm not showing you my dick and no one's blowing anyone. Let's just go to the next room."
The blonde huffed, staring at Ciel through narrow eyes as he removed his legs from the armrests to sit properly. "As you wish. I wouldn't have sucked you off anyway, big boy," Alois teased, throwing a quick glance at Ciel's crotch before he rose to his feet.
Ciel tilted his head down, panic shooting through him by the thought of his partial erection showing; not a single millimeter of him had any energy to deal with more of Alois' taunting. Thankfully, he saw nothing that would indicate that he was, in fact, painfully aroused – something that the attractive blonde always seemed to be able to make him in mere seconds.
Thin lips pursed as his mind tried to will his want away; Ciel was determined only to have sex with Alois in connection to him completing his challenges. It's was his lingering rage and current annoyance towards the other that had his mind made up.
Ciel was angry, and he was horny, but above all he was confused.
He did what he did because he was convinced that he somehow punished the blonde by making him complete challenges for his attention. But there was something that Ciel refused to acknowledge.
Some part of him wanted to spend time with Alois for the mere pleasure of his company.
Perhaps their amazing sex was the only reason he felt this way. Or perhaps it was the fact that the blonde made him aroused beyond belief. Or maybe...
"I DON'T HAVE A HARD ON!" Ciel shouted, face red and fingers tense as they balled up into fists at his sides.
"Yeah like I can't see it on your face... Let's go. I have another place I want to show you."
Ciel groaned. "What place?"
"You'll see."
Ciel followed the blonde, getting led through rows of corridors before they finally ended up in front of a door painted in a pale shade of green. Among all the other white ones this one definitely stuck out. There was no graffiti on the door as it was on so many others; even the paint looked oddly fresh, not flaky or dirty like the walls surrounding it.
The creak that tore through the silence as Alois pulled down the handle and forced the old hinges to move was almost as frightening as the room itself. Most of the rooms they had visited had been empty except for the occasional dirty cloth or oddly placed chair. This room, however, was filled with decor and furniture, old in style.
Matching the green hue on the door was a cover neatly draped over a gangly old hospital bed. Deep blue met sky blue in slight shock before Ciel's eyes wandered over the room, trying to take in every terrifying detail all at once.
"What is this?" Ciel took a few slow steps forward, eying the small nightstand and the dresser standing against a wall to the left, worn out but obviously somewhat kept after.
"They call this room 'Mary's playroom.' She was a patient here who died right before this place was shut down."
Ciel walked over to the barred window, letting one of his hands run down the white, lace draper. Eyes widened when the boy caught sight of what he first had thought was some kind of wallpaper. But as he got closer, leaning in with squinted eyes, he found that the pattern on the walls were words carved into the concrete.
Things like, 'she says to slice them up,' and, 'he likes blue eyes,' were written over and over across the white paint. A shiver ran down Ciel's spine as he let his fingers wander over the creases and bumps of the words, soaking in every dreadful letter in an attempt to figure out their meaning.
"She was a schizo or something like that," Alois mumbled behind Ciel, breaking the silence.
"Fuck!" Ciel jumped, being ripped out of his concentration by the now snickering blonde.
"You never told me how scared you were of stuff like this... I mean, I always thought you were like me – not scared of anything."
"I'm not-"
"Wait! Now I get it! You like the rush, right?"
"Yeah."
"That's really cute. You can always hug me if you're scared."
"Fuck you... who keeps this room like this?"
"No one knows..." Alois began in a spooky voice, moving in a circle around Ciel as he spoke. "It's probably her spirit still trapped in here that keeps it so nice and cozy... but she doesn't like intruders. In fact, many teens have gone missing in here." The blonde was having fun, just loving the nervous look on Ciel's face as he strolled around him to finally stop behind his back, continuing in an even lower voice, "The only traces of their mangled bodies have been blood splatter on the floor, sometimes dripping down the walls. And she always leaves a small trinket behind, like a pair of glasses or—BOO!"
"HOLY SHIT ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!" Ciel yelled, his heart almost jumping right out of his chest as he whirled around to glare at the blonde.
Alois could barely breathe, clutching his thighs as be bent over laughing at Ciel shocked expression. "It looked... like y-you... were about to pee your p-pants." Tears were wiped away as the blonde straightened himself, humming with every exhale.
"I hate you."
"I'm sorry... come on, it was a little funny. You should have seen the look on your face!"
Ciel couldn't hold back a small laugh as he imagined how ridiculously frightened he must have looked. "Okay, yeah, it was kind of funny. Just don't do it again."
"Okay I promise, I won't scare you again sweetie... wouldn't want you to crap yourself."
"Jerk... I bet you weren't so tough the first time you were in here."
"But I was thirteen – you're sixteen. You're so cute," Alois teased with a wide smile on his lips as he went over to the bed and fell down on it. He propped himself up on his elbows and watched Ciel resume his examination of the room, now going through the drawers of the dresser.
"Hey Ciel, are you having fun?"
"You know I love this place."
"I've never been here with someone like you... I mean, someone that I like."
Ciel had to turn around and face the blonde, because his words confused him and made him frustrated and annoyed. "How can you still like me? After all I've said to you – after all the things I've put you through?"
"You're my Ciel," Alois proclaimed as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"You said yourself that I'm nothing like the guy you got to know on Kik."
"Well I was angry when I said that. You are different, but you're still the person I fell in love with."
"How many times do I... you're not in love with me Trancy! You have an obsession or something, because if there's something I'm sure of it is that you're incapable of loving anyone but yourself."
"You can say that all you want but I know it isn't true. You've made me cry more times during these past weeks than I've done in my entire life. I get butterflies every time I see you. Nothing makes me happier than being close to you. You can't say that I'm incapable of love because I feel it every day."
"The tough bully Alois Trancy is suddenly acting softer than a twelve year old girl. How nice."
"Stop being mean. You're just having a hard time forgiving me. It's okay. I know you will... eventually. I can see that you like me."
"Like I said – I like your dick. Not you."
"It's okay. Take your time."
"I'll leave if you don't shut up."
"Okay baby. I'll be quiet. You ready to see the rest of the place?"
"Sure..."
"Hey Ciel. One last thing. After all this time, can you still say that I'm nothing like your Alois?"
Ciel didn't give the blonde an answer; he simply walked out of the creepy room as rage bubbled up inside of him. He tried to will his emotions away, but struggling with his confusion was harder than anything he'd ever done before.
"Wait, Ciel, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up again," Alois murmured as he followed the other, worried that he might have angered him. "I'll be quiet."
"You better be. I'm so sick of you, you have no idea."
"I'm sorry okay? I know you think I'm a pain in the ass."
"Alo-Trancy…" Ciel let out a deep sigh, the obvious sadness in the blonde's face distracting him from his irritation. He had no idea why he cared, but without thinking he said something that he wasn't expecting to come out of his own mouth.
"Yes, you are a pain in my ass – literally," Ciel joked with a small smile that only spread when Alois grinned from ear to ear. "Can we go to the next room now?"
"Can I have a hug first?"
"Will you shut up about us if I give you one?"
"Yes, yeah, I promise!"
"Ugh, okay. Get it over with." Ciel was prepared to get tackled and tensed up completely as he squeezed his eyes shut. What he certainly wasn't prepared for was to feel fingertips lightly stroke his cheek.
Eyelids slowly lifted just as the blonde let the soft tips slide over a smooth jaw, bringing them all the way down to the smaller male's neck. Ciel was frozen to the spot, blue orbs staring right into a sea of emotions as Alois' palm stopped to rest on his nape.
The blonde took a step closer as he let his hand glide over the other's shirt to find a place between his shoulder blades, pressing gently to push their torsos together. The silence was as loud as it could ever be, speaking every word the taller male wished to say but continuously forced to hold back. His free hand wrapped around Ciel's lean waist, fabric ruffling as Alois finally embraced the male.
Cheeks were hot as they brushed against each other, the blonde then burying his face in Ciel's neck and almost squeezing the air right out of his lungs.
"Thank you." The words were whispered into long, deep blue strands as Alois grasped fistfuls of Ciel's shirt and clung to him.
The hug went on in silence for much longer than a hug should've. Why Ciel failed to utter a single word was beyond his own understanding, and why he allowed the intimacy to grow was even more puzzling. The idea that Ciel liked this sort of activity with the blonde was obviously out of the question. But he still couldn't bring himself to move away.
There was a scent.
Alois smelled like clean laundry and... something very familiar. Ciel couldn't quite place it. Definitely some kind of flower – there was nothing manly about his fragrance at all. Leaves... petals... blue...
Bluebells.
Alois smells like bluebells.
His favorite flower.
How do I know that?
Why do I care?
Snap the fuck out of your sappy little memory you stupid idiot!
"That's enough." Ciel mumbled the words as he snaked out of the blonde's embrace. He fixed his gaze on a piece of dust next to his boot as he moved around Alois, careful to hide the fact that his face was most certainly dusted with ten shades of red.
Goosebumps prickled Alois' arms as they fell to his sides. His smile was small but what he felt inside was close to an explosion. A simple hug had become so much more – Ciel had allowed him to hold him for over thirty seconds. That must mean something. Right?
"You like-" the blonde held back the words he really wanted to say and quickly came up with something else, "uhm... cramped spaces?" He turned towards Ciel with a nervous laugh as his hand flew up to scratch the back of his head.
"Yeah, I guess. Why?" Ciel internally cursed himself for acting like a blushing wimp and reluctantly tore his orbs away from his suddenly extremely interesting blue laces.
"I have another place to show you."
"Okay."
"Uhm yeah so... wanna go now or-"
"It didn't mean anything!"
The two boys stared at each other, one looking like he was about to panic and the other battling his urge to laugh.
"What?"
"Nothing," Ciel muttered.
Alois smiled all the way to their next destination.
The splash of water echoed through the underground passage as Ciel released the ladder, his boots slamming onto the ground due to the last broken steps he had been forced to skip. The atmosphere was indeed a heavy one, the lack of light and dripping pipes creating a deeply horrid air to the place.
"Are you really sure we should be-"
"Yes! Just look at this place," Alois chirped, waving his phone around to illuminate the moldy walls and wet floors.
A shiver ran down Ciel's spine as he blinked, trying to get used to the dark. He had definitely been scared too many times in one day and decided to play cool.
"It's… dark."
"Then get your phone out, too! I promise you'll like this."
Ciel quickly shoved a fumbling hand down the front pocket of his jeans and pulled his phone out, turning on the tiny light on the back of the device. He took a moment to go over the tunnel, all the way from the puddles of dirty water on the stomped dirt to the thick pipes in the ceiling. The air was much colder down there and Ciel was thankful for his shirt when he glanced over at Alois in his small black shorts and t-shirt. But by the way the blonde excitedly bounced on his heels he didn't seem bothered at all.
"Okay so we're just gonna walk through it or what? Where does it end?"
"I've never explored that far. I usually just turn around after a while. Let's go already!"
A deep breath was sucked in as Ciel mentally prepared himself to endure the most nerve-wrecking experience of his life.
I'm not a sissy… I can do this.
Ciel took a hesitant step forward, then another. Their only light sources weren't of much assistance and the road ahead was engulfed in a pitch-black darkness that made the fine hairs on his neck stand on end.
They had to walk for ten whole minutes for Alois to run out of words and become silent, and for the first time ever Ciel wished that he would speak again. He was so frightened that he shuddered all over, and the fact that Alois insisted that he took the lead made it even worse. Ciel didn't want to be viewed as a sissy, and rounded every corner with feigned confidence. But his head was spinning with fear, and all he could think about was how he wanted to turn back.
Another corner came up, and the blonde made a spooky noise behind Ciel that made him want to turn around and smack him. He took a few careful steps, poking his head out to make sure nothing was waiting to jump them. And just as he thought the coast was clear a white cat hopped down from one of the pipes and ran right towards him.
"AAAHH!" Ciel screamed at the top of his lungs and whirled around, more than ready to run for his life only to smash into Alois' larger frame. In all his fear and anguish, the smaller boy latched on to the other male, shivering fingers curling around violet fabric as Ciel pressed his face against the blonde's chest. Alois folded his arms around him for not more than one second before Ciel pulled away and took a step back, horrified by his own actions.
"T-Trancy, I-"
The blonde looked at Ciel with the most adoring eyes he'd probably ever had while watching a human being. Emotions were running wild as he caught the male by hooking one of his strong arms around his waist. A small heart thumped and a frail ribcage heaved in lingering fear as Ciel was embraced, drawn so close that his front was pressed flush against the other.
"It's alright baby. I'm here," Alois whispered before he closed his eyes and trapped Ciel's gasping mouth in a deep kiss.