One of those slightly angst-y chapters. This one's Kurt's… :')
Chapter 11
The Path of Self-Analysis
"Sebastian."
"Yeah, Hummel?"
"Sit with me again."
"Fuck. You're upset as fuck. I can tell."
"What gave it away? Was it the tears streaming down my face or the fact that I'm curled into a ball?"
"…"
"Sometimes, your little body, Sebastian, somehow is able to supply the amount of heat I need…you know? It's nice. It's nice to have you around when you're warm like this."
"…"
"I'm so stupid."
"That's not true, Hummel. Who the fuck told you that? Tell me and I'll have my father's lawyer sue him."
"Nobody said it. I just…I feel so stupid. How the hell did I think I could pull off a wedding? Do you know I've been imagining weddings since I was really young? Sebastian, I haven't slept in days because I've just been putting on the final touches on just the wedding invitations. Thinking of booking a hall, having to get our families to talk together for a few more arrangements, going over the themes, trying to deal with the fact that my father obviously doesn't want me to get married and just…it's so much."
"I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything. Just hold me. I don't expect much from you, Sebastian. I know that you can't deal with me when I'm like this, but just…"
"Yeah, okay. I can hold you."
"What if this wedding becomes ruined? I'm so stupid. What if your relatives talk about me behind our backs on how much they hate me because of the wedding? What if something happens and all these months that I fucked myself over is just for nothing at all? I just don't trust wedding planners. I've always thought of planning my wedding on my own and I know that it's stupid but I just…"
"Kurt, please stop crying. It's making me start to cry and I don't even know why I'm crying."
"…"
"Kurt, please stop crying."
"It hurts so bad. I don't want to be a failure."
"You're not a failure. You're the only one that I've ever had a successful relationship with—that says something, doesn't it? And don't worry, you're such a step up from the asses I used to date that…I don't think anyone could hate you."
"Plenty of people hate me."
"Screw them."
"This is one of the rare moments when you can actually make me feel better….t-t-thank you."
"Just calm down, Kurt. Please. And stop fucking crying."
"I don't know how to. It hurts so bad…and I don't want to think about all of this stuff and how it could go wrong but I just can't help it! It's inbred in me to think that everything is going to be fucked up because most of my life was just about the universe trying to screw me over. I'm just so…"
"Please stop crying, Kurt."
"O…okay."
"Should I get you some chocolate or coffee or something warm or whatever? And some food?"
"Please don't leave me."
"Okay."
"Please don't ever leave me. Not ever… actually, who am I kidding? Why the hell would you stay with me? Why the hell would anyone want me?"
"I want you."
"Okay."
"Hell…forget that. I need you."
"…"
"Kurt?"
"Okay."