Disclaimer: All characters/registered names are not mine, and owned by their respective owners, and are used for entertainment purposes...
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Bold underline indicates a caption on the TV screen
Special Thanks to my buddies NewLyfe06 & LB for editing/proofreading for me…
I have made fanart for this story. The Link is on my FF net author-bio page…
Also, bust out LH episode 16 yet again for a game in this segment…
Drew: Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway: Love Hina Edition where the points are like a Halloween costume to Mimi Bobeck… Don't forget, the prize for the girls at the end, which happens to be a surprise visit by a special guest…
The guest is a fake prize. The real one will be presented after the scene with the special guest.
Drew: Now our first game is a special bonus game for all our devoted reviewers, and Clive is gonna help me with this one…
Clive: That's right, Drew. This next game is for Keitaro, Kitsune, Motoko, Naru, and Seta… They are going to come play a game with our own Colin Mochrie, called Hollywood Director!
Drew: That's right! We decided to combine this game with a scene we used earlier, because it seemed funny…
Naru: Let me guess… The scene we just did with Seta as Bullsatan?
Drew: Yes!!! Son Goku, Keitaro, with the help of Sagojo the Kappa, Motoko, are here to rescue Master Sanzo, Naru, from The evil Bullsatan, Seta, and his minion Koushu, Kitsune… We've given Colin these suggestions and he will interrupt the scene every so often and give suggestions on how to improve the scene…
Ryan: As if we didn't know all ready!!!
Drew: (Chuckles) Ok, guys, take it away!!!
Motoko: We have to find Master Sanzo, Goku!!!
Keitaro: Look, up there!!! (Points towards Naru)
Seta: Master Sanzo is up here!!! I never expected to make it this far, Goku!!!
Kitsune: To us monsters, eating the flesh of a high ranking official like Sanzo will grant us eternal life!!!
Seta: So we fully intend to feast upon Master Sanzo!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!
Motoko: I Sagojo will guard Goku with my life!!!
(Seta and Motoko sword-fight, and Motoko again loses)
Seta: Mere kappa, you are too weak to defeat me!!!
Motoko: I have failed you Goku. It's up to you now!!!
Kitsune: I'll tell you what!! Goku and Bullsatan should fight to see who gets Sanzo as their bride…
Naru: WHAT?!!
Keitaro: I'll do it!!! Let's go Bullsatan!!!
(Seta and Keitaro fight, and both knock each other out, Naru rushes to Keitaro's side)
Naru: Oh, Keitaro, I mean, Goku…
Motoko: Naru, you have to wake him with a kiss…
Naru: What?!! I don't know…
(Everyone in the studio starts chanting, "KISS HIM, KISS HIM!!!!" Naru bends down and gives him a light peck on the lips, Colin runs out)
Colin: CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT, (in Naru's face) CUT!!!! (With an angry looking face) THAT WAS TERRIBLE!!! The last time I saw that much CRAP was back when I got stuck filming that stupid group Hanson's new music video and someone slipped each of them powerful laxatives!!! (Drew and Clive Laugh) Come on, guys!!!
Naru: HEY!!! Don't EVER get in my face again!!! (The Whose Line guys chuckle in the back at the thought of someone talking back to Colin in this skit)
Colin: Oh, can it!!! You were the worst one of all!!! And if you EVER use that tone of voice with me again, I'm replacing you with Paris Hilton!!! (Everyone laughs)
Naru: (Gasps in shock) You wouldn't dare!
Colin: Oh, but I would!!! Ok, what we need is some action (waves his arm around while reading the suggestion in his other hand)… I KNOW!!! Do it like you are all chickens!!! You heard me!!! CHICKENS!!! ACTION!!!
Motoko: Bwoooock—we have to find Master Sanzo, Goku… (starts acting like she is flapping wings)
Keitaro: I'm scared! I d-d-don't want t-to go up there… (hides behind Motoko)
Seta: COCK-A-DOODLE DOO!!!!
DING!!!
Seta: Tweet, Tweet!
DING!!!
Seta: Broooooowwck… Polly want a cracker… (Kitsune acts like she's giving him a cracker) Master Sanzo is up here!!! I didn't think you'd make it this far Goku!!!
Keitaro: I-I'm n-not here r-right now… (Points at Motoko) She c-can fight you f-f-for me…
Kitsune: P-kok… Eating a high ranking official like Sanzo will grant us eternal power!!!
Seta: (pecking into the air) So we fully intend to feast upon Master Sanzo!!! AHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!
DING!!!!
Seta: Hee hee hee!!!
DING!!!
Seta: (pulls his hand out of his pocket) Look, it's a stone I passed last week!!! (Everyone laughs and looks at him funny)
Naru: Save me!!! (flaps arms like wings)
Motoko: Not if I can help it… Bwoooock!!!!
Seta: A duel, eh? (Seta and Motoko act like they are pecking at each other, Motoko falls)
Kitsune: Brooooock… You two will fight and whoever wins gets Master Sanzo!
Naru: Whaaat??? (Sounds almost like a chicken instead of her saying 'what')
Keitaro: I d-don't want to f-fight! I'm scared.
Naru: (flapping her arms) Goku, don't be such a scaredy-cat! Bwooook…
Seta: Bwooooock, Fight me, Goku!!!
DING!!!
Seta: Anyone for a game of poker?
(Keitaro flinches, Colin walks out)
Colin: CUT, CUT, CUT!!!! (Looks at Keitaro) What the hell were you supposed to be?!
Keitaro: I was acting chicken… You know, scared…
Colin: I MEANT THE ANIMAL, YOU IDIOT!! (Keitaro flinches at this) All right… (Looks at Seta) By the way, what was with the parrot earlier?
Seta: I dunno; I wasn't thinking…
Colin: YOU IDIOT, YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO THINK!!! I DO THE THINKING AROUND HERE!!!
DING!!!
Colin: I liked it. It was a nice touch… (Looks around dumbfounded for a second, then straightens up) Alright!!! Let's try something a little different!
Seta: Yes!
DING!!!
Seta: No!!!
DING!!!
Seta: Dattebayo!!! (A/N: That was for all my Naruto fans)
Colin: We need some emotion!!!
Seta: Emotion, yes!
Colin: Thank you, mister brown-noser!!! DID I ASK YOU TO SPEAK??!
Seta (pouts) No...
DING!!!
Seta: (Tugs on his collar like Rodney Dangerfield) No Respect!!!
DING!!!
Seta: Git-er-dun!!!
Colin: I have a joke for you! Knock Knock!!!
Seta: Who's there?
Colin: SHUT UP!!! (Seta pouts) Ok, let me think… (Examines slip) I know!!! Do it like you are all irate hockey players!! IRATE HOCKEY PLAYERS—because I said so!!! ACTION!!!
Motoko: Quick, Goku… We have to try to score a goal to gain some points on the evil Bullsatan's team! (Skates around to Keitaro)
Keitaro: Lookie there! (points towards Naru) They got our goalie!!!
Seta: Stop right there, Goku!!! We got your beautiful goalie, and we will break her nose if you try to score a goal!!! (Acts like he's swinging his hockey stick towards Naru's face)
Naru: Nooooo!!! Help me!!!
Kitsune: (Sitting next to Naru acting like she's restraining Naru) That's right, for I am jealous that I wasn't blessed with as beautiful of a nose as she has…
Seta: So together we shall defeat your team! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!
Motoko: (Swinging her hockey stick) I don't think so!!! Get your -BEEP- -BEEP- self over here so I can break your nose!!! (A/N: Motoko is imitating the beeps, there is no explicit language coming from her mouth)
(Seta and Motoko start fighting)
Keitaro: Oh for the love of… You SUCK!!! I'm gonna kick your ass!!! (Runs to Seta, starts swinging his hockey stick at him)
Kitsune: HEY!!! EVERYBODY FREEZE, OR SHE LOSES HER NOSE!!! (holding her hockey stick in front of Naru's face)
Colin: CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT!!!!! That was crappier than the restrooms at a laxative research facility!!! C'mon, what was that??!
Kitsune: You said hockey players…
Colin: (right in her face) I SAID IRATE HOCKEY PLAYERS!!! THAT MEANS ANGRY, LIKE WHAT I AM!!! In case you guys forgot, hockey players wear masks to protect their faces, which last time I checked, CONTAINED THEIR NOSES!!!
Kitsune: (In the quietest Kitsune voice) Sorry…
Colin: I know you are!!! You all are the sorriest people I've ever directed!!!
Keitaro: Heeey….
Colin: Hey, Keitaro was right when he said you all sucked! Look how clean the carpet is!!! (Examines his notes) Alright… (gasps with an idea) YES!!! I GOT THE PERFECT IDEA!!! You two, (points at Seta and Keitaro) act like you just took a powerful aphrodisiac, and you two… (points at Naru and Kitsune) You two are the mud wrestlers entertaining them!!! And you (points at Motoko) are Foghorn Leghorn as a stripper!!! BELIEVE ME ON THIS ONE!!! Ready?? ACTION!!!
Naru/Kitsune/Motoko: WHAT?!!!
Keitaro: Mmmmm… Look at those two… (points at Naru and Kitsune, who act like they are wrestling) What I could do to them….
Motoko: (sighs) I say—I say, boy, I bet you didn't know Roosters could do this… (Dancing as seductively as she can, which is hardly seductive, acts like she is sliding her pants off of herself) You ever—I say you ever seen these kinda panties on a rooster? Oh, look, I say, look! It's Drew Carey giving me hundred dollar bills while munching on jelly donuts…
(Clive, Ryan, and Wayne all laugh)
Seta: (Watching Naru and Kitsune) Oh, yeah, that's right! Kitsune, after you're done with Sanzo, it's my turn…
Kitsune: (sliding around, fighting Naru) That's right! After I defeat you, Bullsatan and I shall devour you!!!
Seta: (in a seductive voice) That's right, Master Sanzo… We're gonna eat you up… Hehehehehehe!!!
Naru: I don't think so! You shall never defeat me!!! Help me Goku!!!
Motoko: (Dances right in Seta's face) I say there, Bullsatan! I say, you, I say have to get through me to get Master Sanzo!
Seta: Oh, yeah… (Seductively) Then when I defeat you, I shall devour both you and Sanzo…
Motoko: You I say, you boy couldn't handle a rooster like me…
Keitaro: Yeeeeaaahhh… I'm just enjoyin the show… Watchin' Sanzo and whoever the hell Kitsune is supposed to be, fightin' in mud… (A/N: They forgot Kitsune's character name)
Kitsune: (Holding Naru up) Alright, here's the deal. Bullsatan and Goku will fight to the death and whoever wins gets Sanzo…
Seta: You take her, Goku… I'm takin her (Motoko) out and orderin two chicken thighs and two chicken breasts if ya know what I mean…
Motoko: Oooh, You, I say, boy, you are naughty…
(Keitaro jumps in and is punched out by Kitsune, who is punched down by Naru)
Naru: Oh, Goku, I have avenged you and defeated Koushu… Please don't die on me now… I shall reward you for coming to my rescue with a kiss!
(She bends down to kiss him, and he grabs her face)
Keitaro: Ohhhh, yeah… You just thought I was out… (He pulls her into a nice passionate kiss)
BUZZ!!! BUZZ!!! BUZZ!!!!
Drew: Stop!!!
Naru: Wooo!!!! Nice kiss… Drew, we're gonna need a few minutes, and I mean a few minutes!!!
(Everyone laughs)
Drew: I wish I could give points for that but I wasn't paying attention. I was too busy eating donuts and lard… (Everyone laughs) I'm such a fatass… (Everyone laughs harder)
Ryan: Wow… Even here in Japan, people make fun of you!
Drew: Ok!!! I see that tonight's winner is none other than Shinobu Maehara!!! (Everyone claps, Shinobu smiles and waves) How does it feel to be there, Shinobu? You are the only guest star to ever appear behind my desk…
Shinobu: It feels great, Drew!!!
Ryan: She sure is a lot easier on the eyes, too Drew! (Everyone laughs)
Drew: So, Shinobu's gonna sit behind the desk while we act out a few games for you. OK, I'm going to actually sit out here with the improvisers, and Shinobu will man the buzzer. Are you ready, Shinobu?
Shinobu: I think so…
Clive: I'll help you out…
Ryan: Be careful, Shinobu. There's a lotta power in sitting behind the desk…
Drew: Our next game is called Three-Headed Broadway Star and it's for Wayne, myself and Colin, as well as Laura Hall on the piano, and Linda Taylor on the guitar, and special guest, Kanako!!!
(Kanako walks out, sits in the stool)
Clive: That's right! How're you doing, Kanako?
Kanako: Pretty good… Wait, why isn't big brother going to sing to me?
Keitaro: Because I can't sing…
DING!!!
Keitaro: Because I am on my smoke break!!!
DING!!!
Keitaro: Because I don't wanna…
Ryan: Nah… It's because it's a roast… Keitaro's too nice!
(Everyone laughs)
Drew: That's right, Kanako. Leave it to the pros for this one…
Clive: (laughing) Funny you mention it being a roast, and at the same time, Kanako, you have your big brother to thank for this one… These guys are going to sing to Kanako like a strange three-headed Broadway star making the song up one word at a time, and Keitaro picked the name of this Broadway musical, and it's called 'You Love Your Brother Too Much.'
Kanako: What?!!
Drew: 'You Love Your Brother Too Much,' one word at a time, starting with Wayne…
(Music Starts)
Wayne: You
Drew: Love
Colin: Your
Wayne: Brother
Drew: Too
Colin: Much…
Wayne: You
Drew: Have
Colin: The
Wayne: Backwoods
Drew: Arkansas
Colin: Touch…
(Kanako sweatdrops, looks at the guys funny)
Wayne: When
Drew: I
Colin: Look
Wayne: At
Drew: Your
Colin: Ways,
Wayne: I
Drew: Am
Colin: Glad
Wayne: That
Drew: I
Colin: Stray…
Wayne: Your
Drew: Incestual
Colin: Ways
Wayne: Scare
Drew: Me…
Colin: You
Wayne: Frighten
Drew: Keitaro
Colin: Tee—hee
(Everyone laughs)
Wayne: You
Drew: Love
Colin: Keitaro
Wayne: Too
Drew: Much
Colin: As
Wayne: Nasty
Drew: As
Colin: Yaoi Pairings
(Drew and Wayne look at Colin and Giggle, everyone laughs and Kanako sweatdrops)
Wayne: (giggling) Such…
Drew: You
Colin: Should
Wayne: Understand
Drew: He
Colin: Loves
Wayne: Naru
Drew: So
Colin: Grand…
(Music slows marking the end of the song)
Wayne: Just
Drew: Go And, oops…
(Everyone looks at Drew and Laughs)
Colin: Find A
(More Laughing)
Wayne: (giggling) New
Drew/Colin/Wayne: M-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-n…
BUZZZZZZZ!!!!
Clive: Very nice.
Kanako: I already said earlier, I'm over Keitaro. I respect his and Naru's relationship!
Ryan: Sure ya do… I heard you backstage contemplating how to get Keitaro away from Naru…
DING!!!
Ryan: Sure ya do… I heard you talking earlier about how posing nude in his favorite porno magazine was gonna get him…
DING!!!
Ryan: You might respect them, but I heard you talking earlier about you want to seduce Drew Carey to your bed using only deep dish cheese pizzas and whipped cream…
Kanako: WHAT?!!! I said nothing of the sort…
Drew: Wait, what do you want to do to me? (Everyone laughs)
Clive: Anyhow, 2000 points to Kanako for putting up with us, and 1000 to Colin for messing up and saying two words, as well as mentioning the word 'Yaoi'…
Colin: Thanks…
Kanako: You guys are mean! I'm leaving! This isn't the last of me, Hinata-Sou!!!
(Kanako Storms out)
Keitaro: She always was a drama queen!
DING!!!
Keitaro: She forgot to take her happy pills again today…
DING!!!
Keitaro: Damn siblings!
Ryan: What a baby…
Shinobu: C'mon guys, isn't there another game to play?
Clive: There sure is, Shinobu… It's for Drew, Colin, and Ryan, as well as Keitaro, Naru, and Kitsune…
Kitsune: Wow, I get another cameo…
Drew: Alright! Shinobu, what's the card say we gotta do?
Shinobu: In this game, Drew, Keitaro and Kitsune are going to act out a scene in a foreign language, and Ryan will translate for Drew, Colin will translate for Kitsune, and Naru will translate for Keitaro…
Drew: Oh, boy… What's the scene?
Shinobu: (Laughing) Hunky Yard Guy, Keitaro starts flirting with feisty housewife, Kitsune… Wow, this is great!!! Anyhow, Kitsune's temperamental husband, Drew comes home with a gift for her…
Drew: (laughing) Wow. What language are we mimicking, Shinobu?
Shinobu: Swedish!
Drew: Ok, then, in Swedish…
Keitaro: Schronde die hausepuffie insee die poofenstoof… (Goes to Kitsune, strokes her cheek. She blushes slightly)
Naru: My dear, this pile of leaves is a gorgeous as you… (Keitaro points to ground beside him)
Kitsune: Verbee dee ootreege…
Colin: I'm feisty!!!
Keitaro: Vindee oober dee zeedum fir creezee fulleenee poopeennee…
Naru: I know you are, and that's why I like you so much… I wish you weren't married… (Keitaro resumes stroking Kitsunes cheek, Kitsune grins)
Kitsune: (Hugs Keitaro tightly) Keeper dee freezee poofee huse herrdee perrdee…
Colin: Here, lay on my bosom. I have also developed feelings for you… (Kitsune and Keitaro laugh)
(Drew walks in)
Drew: Herrdee verrdee findeee verrdee hindeee…
Ryan: Hey, what are you doing with my wife? (Drew points at Keitaro) Oh, I brought you something, honey… (Drew hands something to Kitsune)
Kitsune: Schnekey du reezee poo…
Colin: Oh, thanks sweetie.. Oh, look.. Just what I've always wanted, a pack of moldy cheese… I'm gonna put it over the fireplace. Oh, I love you, honey (kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss). (Kitsune acts like she is kissing Drew on the cheek…)
Drew: Verdee heemee turdee purdee vendee humee…
Ryan: What about him? You can't possibly love him… (Drew points at Keitaro again, Kitsune looks at him)
Keitaro: Finde keemay toody froody von doome toodee…
Naru: But I love her more!!! (Keitaro looks at Kitsune, who blushes, and looks at Drew)
Kitsune: Merdee birdee kissee kissee…
Colin: We shall have a kissing contest, and I will choose who I love more. I will start with my husband… Come here husband!!! (Kitsune looks at Drew, who pulls her into a dramatic big kiss…)
Drew: Verndee herrr….
Ryan: Wow, that reminds me of eating Pizza…
Kitsune: Veeerdee peerdy keenee moodee.. Deemee frooloo doo teepee…
Colin: Oh, I love it when you talk about food!!! Eh, who am I kidding… I love my husband more (Kitsune looks at Drew with a smile on her face) because he makes better money than say, you!!! (She points at Keitaro…)
Keitaro: Heenee peedee poo for feedy…
Naru: I guess that leave me with just one thing… (Keitaro looks puzzled, then walks over to Naru)
Naru: Whaa—mmmfff…. (Keitaro embraces her and gives her a very passionate kiss which she returns, with a slight squeeze of his rear)
Drew: Hoozee poozee verdee hrredee verdee…
Ryan: How come you never kiss me like that???
Kitsune: Keedee verdee perdee pie fur cheese…
Colin: Because your breath tastes like that moldy cheese pizza pie you ate last week…
DING!!!
Colin: Because your breath tastes like rotten fish and old cheesy crusted pie tins…
DING!!!
Colin: Because your breath tastes like Velveeta covered rusty license plates and cow pies!
(Keitaro and Naru are still kissing)
BUZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!
Clive: Ok, that's enough… We're on national TV here…
(Naru and Keitaro separate)
Drew: Hey, that just happened earlier!!!
Clive: So, 1000 points to Drew who is in love with Pizza more than Kitsune…
Drew: Speaking of Pizza, our special guest is in the kitchen… Lets go down there…
Shinobu: (Freaking out) What are they doing in my kitchen???!
Drew: Our special celebrity guest is the prize…
Girls: What??! (Everyone 'oohs and aahs')
(Everyone goes down to the kitchen doors)
(Suddenly, Kentaro appears in the kitchen window)
Kentaro: I'm determined to get another cameo on this stupid show…
Ryan: Look, it's that other Keitaro guy…
Kentaro: It's KENTARO with an N!!!
Ryan: Whatever… What the hell are you doing here?
Kentaro: I've come to drive you Americans away and protect the girls!!!
Shinobu: They are very nice guys!
Naru: And why are you coming in the kitchen window?!
Kentaro: Uhh, I--…
Drew: Shut up, other-Keitaro!!! I'm talking here!!! Girls, remember that prize I promised you all? This is it… Meet our special guest, The Swedish Chef!!!
Girls: WHAAAAT?!
Chef: (singing, holding metal pots in his hands, standing in front of a table full of ingredients, dancing) Vee dish der boo nee der vee dish skidoo, vindee dish spoonies scheemees BORK! BORK! BORK! (Throws pots behind him. One knocks one of Shinobu's favorite frying pans on the floor. The other pot flies through the window, hitting Kentaro in the face, knocking him out and he falls two stories where his fall is broken by one angry Kanako who is immediately knocked out. Chef looks back when the crashing noises happen…)
Shinobu: (frantic) EEEK!!! My pan!!!
Naru: Good going, Chef… You took care of that perverted peeper!
Colin: (looking out the window) Looks like whatever-the-hell-his-name-is took out your little sister, Keitaro… Should we help them?
Keitaro: Nah! They're perfect for each other… Chef, I see all these yummy things on the table. What are you making us today?
Chef: Vendee herr de scheeemees pepperunee peezza… Ryun und Culeen de vendee heelpeen mee… (Points at Ryan and Colin and then to the spot next to him)
Ryan: Helping hands?
Chef: Ja, der heeelping hendees….
Colin: (Chuckles) Okay…
(Ryan and Colin get into position, Ryan has an apron on)
Chef: Veedesh dee peezza duoogh (picks up dough, throws it in air, catches it)
Ryan: Right, and next we need some cheese to go with it… (grabs tomato sauce spills it all over the place, except the pizza) The cheese! The cheese! The cheese!! (drops sauce, finds cheese) And, there we go… Next we put it all over the pizza, and a perhaps, little for me… (puts cheese on pizza, and stuffs a handful in his mouth.) Some for you, Chef? (Chef takes a handful and stuffs it in his mouth)
Chef: Mershnee veeendee herr die tumetu sooce-a… (looks for tomato sauce) No sooce-a… Eha!!! Heeere vee have dee tumetus (grabs a tomato in one hand) und heeere vee have dee boomashooten! (grabs a rifle in the other)
Ryan: Woah! (Throws hands in front of him) What's that for?
Naru: Oh my god, he's got a gun in the house!!
Motoko: He's got a gun!!! I must stop him!!!
Suu: That is a very old rifle… (Shinobu is cowering behind her)
Chef: Stoop-a!!! (puts his hand out in a 'hold it' type gesture) Vishne tumetu sooce-a!!! (He throws the tomato in the air, and shoots it; the girls and Ryan flinch as the gun fires. A rain of tomato sauce rains down ONLY on the pizza. As it does, Drew, and Wayne laugh)
Drew: Wow, now that's one way to make tomato sauce!!
Suu: That looks yummy!!!
Motoko: For once Suu, You're absolutely correct! It is yummy!
Ryan: What's next, Chef?
Chef: Neext, ver adden dee pepperunees putten-on-em.
Ryan: All I see is a big pepperoni sausage. (Points at it) Wait! Are you gonna do what I think you are going to do?
Chef: Ja, ver moousten dee pepperunees mit dee boomashooten!
Ryan: Why did I even ask… (Puts hand over face as he shakes his head no. Chef throws pepperoni sausage in air, shoots them, and PERFECTLY sliced pepperonis fall all over the place. Also, a dead bird falls down onto the floor… Ryan and Chef look down at the bird, and Colin is giggling behind him) I tawt I taw a tweety bird!!!
Chef: Oooopsiiidoseeee! Vindee dee birdee dee shooten-at-um.
Ryan: I did, I did taw a tweety bird… It fell down, go BOOOOM!!! (everyone laughs) Ok, pepperonis!!! (Ryan picks a handful up and shoves them in his mouth) MMM!!!
Chef: (Looks at Ryan, scratches his head) Verrdee birdee dee sloppy eaten toomuch!
Ryan: (Holds hand under mouth, spits pepperonis in hand) Look, I'm the Swedish Chef! Bork, Bork, Bork!!! (Throws pepperonis behind him, which splat on the frying pans, everyone laughs)
Shinobu: (Flailing her arms) You guys are making a huge MESS in my kitchen!!!
Drew: It's ok, we will clean it up later…
Shinobu: Promise?
Drew: I will personally help…
Ryan: Ok, now we put this in the oven, right Chef?
Chef: Ja, vee poot eet in dee ooven. (Takes pizza and puts it in the oven)
Ryan: What's this watermelon for? (Points at watermelon)
Chef: Und fer Mutsumi: Sleeced Vetermelun mit dee boomashooten… (Pulls out a bowl, throws a half of a watermelon in the air, shoots it, and it explodes and splats all over Keitaro)
Keitaro: aww, man, I just got these clothes outta the laundry…
Drew: Well, Watermelon is a hot new fashon this fall.
Naru: I could help fix that later… (Turns around and quietly laughs pervertedly, while the others sweatdrop and Keitaro turns a shade of red that would make a Ferrari jealous)
Ryan: (puts his hands on his cheeks in a freaked out type look—think the Home Alone scene) Oh my god!! Naru being perverted?!!! The world's gonna end!!!
(Everyone laughs, Naru blushes darker than Keitaro)
Chef: Ooopsiees, dee boomashooten veederr dee wrong angle…
Ryan: Silly chef… (Chef throws other watermelon in air at different angle, shoots it, and catches 5 perfect slices of watermelon, puts them in bowl)
Mutsumi: (face lights up) Aaaaahhhhh! Ara, That looks yummy!!! (Chef hands bowl of slices to Mutsumi) Thank you, Chef!!!
Chef: Und fer Suu, banana-na-na-na-na-na split!
Suu: Oh boy!!! Banana-na-na-na-na---… (Starts out fast, then slows down in confusion) What is that?
Motoko: I think he means 'banana.'
Ryan: Right… First we get the banana… (Grabs a banana off the table, peels it, puts it in his mouth)
Chef: Nooooo!!! Ryun moosta noo veerdee shnee bana-na-na-na-na eaten!!! (Grabs another banana, peels it, puts it in a dish) Veeende shner dee eece creem adden…
Ryan: (spits remaining banana in Colin's hand, who drops it) Oooh. Is that Chocolate?
Girls: (to Ryan spitting out the banana) EEEEW!!!
Chef: Ja, dat eesa chuculete-a… (Scoops up a small bunch in a spoon, and feeds it to Ryan, who has his hands on his hips)
Ryan: (smiles) Wow!! That is GOOD Chocolate! (Chef nods, then puts two scoops in the banana bowl)
Chef: Veendee herr dee sprinkleeeeees. (Passes banana bowl to Ryan)
Ryan: Right, we need the sprinkleeeees!!! (Drew laughs at Ryan's imitation of Chef's pronunciation of 'sprinkles', Ryan picks up the bowl of sprinkles) We don't want too many there… (Throws way too many sprinkles out of bowl, catches half on the banana split) Hut!!! There we go!!! Looks like Walt Disney threw up, doesn't it? (Everyone laughs, Chef chuckles)
Chef: (Chuckling) Hee hee hee, die wulta disneee sprinkleees threwem uppen…
Suu: That looks extra yummy!!!
Ryan: We can't forget the Whipped Cream, can we Chef…
Chef: Verrrdee Vipped Cream… (Picks up the can of Reddi Whip, sprays the banana split)
Ryan: Hey, Chef, does that stuff taste good?
Chef: Hmmmm… (Sprays some of the stuff in his mouth, tastes it) Verdeee berrdiiie yummy…
Ryan: Really? Let me try…
Naru: Oh god, not this again…
Ryan: You're right… No more whipped cream for me…
Naru: Is that root beer on the table? I think a root beer float would be extra yummy…
Ryan: Here Suu.
Chef: Suu's banana-na-na-na-na-na split… Und fer Naru, scmishnee ver Root Beer Flooten… Ryun, dee Root beer?
Ryan: Right! (picks up root beer, shakes it a bit)
Naru: Don't do that! It'll go flat!!!
Motoko: What are you doing?!!
Ryan: (shakes the root beer with every word) What's wrong? This root beer will be just fine!!! I know what I am doing. The root beer will be nice and yummy!!!
Chef: Nooooooo!!!!!! (puts hands in front of his face)
Ryan: (Looks away, everyone ducks, opens the root beer, which sprays all over the place) Ahh, there… That was refreshing!!!
Naru: You got it all over the place!!!!
Ryan: There's still some in the can… (Grabs a Sundae glass and pours it in, filling about ¼ of the glass with what is left in the can…) Chef, Ice cream, please?
Chef: Verdeee schnerrr dee eece creeeam… (Scoops two scoops of ice cream into the sundae glass)
Ryan: Right, and now for more whipped cream… (Sprays too much Reddi whip all over the glass and his hand) Not too much there… (Colin stops spraying the Reddi Whip) Maybe a bit more… (Colin sprays more Reddi Whip all over the glass and his hand again, then stops when the mass of Reddi Whip collapses on the table.) There we go!!!
Naru: That's too much!!!
Motoko: Easy, Ryan…
Keitaro: Wow, Ryan, that looks delicious, but you might want to put this cherry on top! (Grabs a cherry and puts it on top of the root beer float)
Ryan: Ahh, thank you, Keitaro… Here ya go, Naru…
Chef: Verdeee biddee bee hoota sahkee fur Kitsooneee…. (grabs a bottle of fresh, hot sake, hands it to Kistune)
Kitsune: For me? Wow!!! Thank you!!!
Ryan: What do we have for Motoko?
Chef: Veendish ver dee pieeee fur Motoko…
Ryan: What? This? (Points at the pie)
Motoko: What is it? (Comes up to Ryan) Where is it? (Ryan has picked up the pie and is hiding it from Mokoto's vision)
Ryan: (points on the table) Right there…
Motoko: I don't see anything..
Ryan: Look closer! (Motoko leans in over the table, just in range)
Motoko: I don-… (As Motoko leans in just right, Ryan swings his arm around, and splatters the pie right in Motoko's face… Everybody starts laughing)
Chef: Ahahaaaaahahahaaa!!! Verdee perdee pie in Motoko's faceeee…
(Ryan starts laughing)
Motoko: (growls) How dare you insult me, Ryan!!!
Ryan: Relax, Motoko… Here… (Passes her a towel) Wipe yourself off…
DING DING DING!!!!!
Ryan: What was that?
Shinobu: That was the timer on the oven!!! The pizza is done…
Chef: Veendee herr dee pizza finished… (Walks to oven, puts on mitts, and opens the oven only to be greeted by a tall pizza-like figure…)
Pizza: Where's Lone-Star? I want my 1 million space bucks!!!
Ryan: Looks like this one needs to cook a little bit longer!!! (Chef closes the oven door)
Drew: Well, girls, are you ready for the real prize???
Naru: I thought this was the prize…
Motoko: (Now cleaned up) Yes, what are you trying to pull?
Drew: This was just a fake prize. The real prize is right here in Clive's hand!
Clive: That's right!!! For being such good sports and putting up with us today, we're giving you $25,000!!!
Drew: Don't ask how much that is in Yen! I forgot!!! There's more, too!
Clive: That's right!!! You girls are all getting a 14 day eastern and western Caribbean Cruise, all expenses paid, in your own first class staterooms with verandas!!!
Girls: Wow!!!!
Ryan: Hey, Suu, the cruise ships are all-you-can eat buffets….
Suu: Wo-o-o-o-o-ow!!!!!!
Keitaro: That's great, guys!!!
(Haruka walks in)
Haruka: I just heard… A small portion of the $25,000 will help in maintenance fees on the building…
Drew: Wow, hey guys, that's all the time we have for Whose Line is it Anyway: Love Hina edition… We hope you enjoyed the show!!!
Clive: That's right, and from all of us: Wayne Brady, Keitaro Urashima, Ryan Stiles, Colin Mochrie, Brad Sherwood, Laura Hall, Linda Taylor, Drew Carey, special guest, Swedish Chef and me Clive Anderson, saying good night… Goodnight!!!
Girls: (looking at the camera) Goodnight!!! (They all Bow)
Well, guys, that's it!!! Thanks for reading my first ever fanfiction, and laughing along with me at this story!!! I hope everyone enjoyed it!!! I appreciate all the reviews from everyone!!! Please leave some more reviews up!!! If I get enough, I might just do another Whose Line show using another anime… Thanks again, guys!!!
---ALSO--- Check my profile for hints of a surprise that I'm giving my loyal readers that is rated M and related to this story…