Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
"Ugh" Harry groaned, waking up to find himself laying in the middle of a dark dungeon corridor. "What happened?"
"Ugh" a voice groaned, drawing the young ninja's attention to his friends all scattered along the floor.
"Hey you guys ok?" he asked, checking his friends for injury.
"Yeah I think we're ok" said Neville.
"Does anyone have any idea where we are?" asked Hermione.
"Perhaps we've been infested with wrackspurts" Luna suggested. "They're known to invade your ears and muddle your mind."
No one was sure if Luna was being serious or speaking in code as she did with The Kraang, so all they could do was stare dumbfounded at the Raven claw.
"Um, ok that's a possibility…I think" said Ginny confusedly. "But we're going to keep thinking of other options ok?"
"Of course." Luna said dreamily. "If we clear our minds we can fight the infection."
"Well does anyone remember what we were doing before?" asked Hermione getting themselves back on track.
"Ok I was coming back from my weekly trip home" said Harry trying to run through his day.
"Yeah, and we were finishing our training for the night" said Neville.
"I didn't know you guys trained while I was away." Harry was impressed he didn't think his friends would actually train on their own during the weekend.
"Well we don't wake up so bloody early at least" said Ron.
"But we are taking our ninja lessons seriously" Ginny added.
"Alright so what happened next?" asked Hermione.
"We greeted Harry in the common room" said Luna. "And Ginny and I were going to go to our houses for the night. But I don't remember anything after that."
"And has anyone noticed our clothes have changed" said Neville, drawing the groups attention to their new attire.
Ginny was dressed up like a warrior princess. Luna was dressed up in a green tunic, and much to her amusement her ears had become pointed like an elf's. Ron was dressed up like a troll. Neville was dressed in chainmail like a knight. Hermione was dressed like a mighty sorceress. As for Harry, his attire wasn't that different from his ninja clothes the only real difference being he now had a cape.
"Yes I was wondering when someone would bring it up" said Luna. She just smiled as her friends all realized that in their haste to find out what was going on, they'd missed what was right in front of them. "By the way a rack of weapons just appeared on the wall behind you, Harry." As she brought attention to the weapons they magically flew off the wall towards each of the kids.
As they settled in each of their hands Harry took note what the wall was equipped with; an axe (Ron), a bow and arrows (Luna), a wizard's staff (Hermione), a sword and shield (Neville), a dagger (Harry), and a whip (Ginny).
"Hey look, somethings appearing on the wall" said Ginny, pointing to the slowly forming words.
Now you've awoken from your haze. Solve the riddles to beat the maze.
"Ok does anyone have a clue what's going on?" asked Ron.
"I'm guessing the haze is whatever knocked us out" said Hermione. "But the rest doesn't make sense."
"Perhaps we should ask the game master" said Luna.
"What game master?" Harry asked.
"Him" said Luna as what looked to Harry to be a mutant bird dressed in a medieval style tunic and hood, holding a staff with a green egg on top for decoration, appeared before them in a puff of green smoke.
"Thou possesith questions" the bird mutant said dramatically, his eyes glowing green reminding Harry of Voldemort's killing curse. "I am the one who possesith thine answers."
"Oh please tell me this isn't more British stuff I don't understand" Harry groaned, having no idea what the mutant just said.
"He's speaking a butchered form of old English" said Hermione. "I assure you that's closer to say Shakespearian rather than anything modern. Basically he's saying he knows we have questions and he can answer them."
"Who are you?" asked Ginny, to her credit she was taking her first meeting with a mutant rather well.
"My name is Sir Malachi" said the bird mutant, bowing slightly. "I am the one who broughtith you here. And I am the one who will rewardith you. If you win the quest."
"What quest?!" Ron demanded. "And what kind of reward?"
"Ron" the others groaned.
"What, I'm curious" the Weasley boy argued.
"You six must solveth the puzzles three" said Sir Malachi. "And defeatith the dragon to free thin castle" the bird mutant then conjured a sphere of energy displaying Hogwarts castle inside. The image then shifted to display the captive lying unconscious inside. "Then and only then, will I releaseth you."
"Let them go!" Neville demanded, moving to draw his wand only to find it missing. "What?"
"I have takenith your wands. You may only use the weapons I haveth provided you with. If doth succeedith, I will free your school and send you all safely back home. Fail and the dragon shall devour them all. And thou will be trapped in the maze forever." Malachi laughed.
"Or maybe we don't want to play your games" Harry growled. Griping his dagger, Harry charged the mutant wizard, intent on ending this game before it could begin. But just as he was about to make contact, Malachi in another puff of smoke teleported behind him. Much to Harry's and everyone else's surprise.
"Thou will play. For thine lives!" Malachi waving his staff summoned forth a vicious horde of monsters that looked like a cross between monkey and goblin.
"What do we do?!" Neville screamed, unsure how to fight the monsters off without his magic.
"Remember your training!" Harry ordered, punching one of the monkey-goblins in the face. "You can't rely on your magic."
"You didn't teach us how to use weapons yet!" Ron argues, doing his best to stay out of the way of the rabid monsters. "And how come Hermione's the only one with a wand?!"
"It's a staff not a wand" Hermione corrected. "And it's not even working" Try as she might none of the spells Hermione had mastered seemed to work, forcing her to resort to swinging the staff at the monkey-goblins.
"Harry's right. We need to use our training" said Luna, focusing on the task at hand managed to shoot a couple of monkey-goblins causing them to disappear in a puff of green smoke.
Neville was by no means a master swordsman but his clumsy flailing was effective against the mindless creatures.
Ginny on her part had abandoned the idea of using a whip and instead went with good old punching and kicking. Unfortunately she'd yet to learn to mind her surroundings as a monkey-goblin was sneaking up behind her, moments away from sinking its teeth into her. Luckily someone was looking out for Ginny as she turned around in time to see the go up in smoke, leaving behind an axe.
Recognizing the weapon Ginny gave her brother a grateful smile as Ron started holding his own, punching and kicking the savage monkey-goblins.
"This isn't working" said Harry realizing that his friends weren't ready to fight such overwhelming numbers yet. "We got to move!"
Not about to argue the party ran down the closest hallway, the monkey-goblins following closely behind. Knowing that they needed an out, Harry spotted a side corridor that had just what they might need.
"Follow me and don't slow down!" he ordered, Neville found himself very grateful for their morning runs as Harry had chosen to lead them down a hallway filled with deadly booby-traps. The kids ran for their lives as the walls released arrows and large blasts of fire upon them. None of them dared to slow down until they made it across to the other side.
The savage cries of the monkey-goblins faded into memory as they fell victim to the dungeon's traps. Seeing no other options the group moved forward, they had no choice but to play Sir Malachi's game.
"Man I'm glad the Hogwarts dungeons aren't like this" said Ginny.
"Tell me about it. Snape would probably send us through this for fun" said Ron
"Really I was thinking this was more like something Filch would like" said Neville.
"Is something wrong Harry?" asked Hermione, noticing her friend was being oddly quiet.
"Yeah it's just those monsters back there" said Harry.
"What about them?"
"They remind me of some monsters in this board game, me and my brothers were playing before."
"What was the game?"
"Mazes & Mutants. Do you think it's a coincidence?"
"I don't know. It's possible that somethings about the magical world just leaked out." Harry had to admit Hermione had a point there somethings do leak into the non-magical world, even if they were considered to just be fiction.
"I don't suppose the magical world knows anything about monkey-goblins" he asked the wizard raised members of their group but they were all drawing blanks.
"There are creatures that even the wizarding world would find unbelievable" said Luna. Nobody could argue against that after all how would the wizards react to the existence of aliens and mutants? Still Hermione and Luna decided to fill that bit of information away just in case it was a clue.
Speaking of clues the group, Sir Malachi decided that it was time gift the adventures with their next challenge as a giant projection of his head appeared before them.
"Wow that is very Wizard of Oz" Harry comments, confusing Ron, Neville, and Ginny as they'd never heard of such a wizard.
"Yes I agree" said Luna, revealing she understood the reference.
"Wanderers mine congratulations on solving the first puzzle. And now for thine second riddle."
"Stupid bird head" Ron grumbled, earning a smack to the chest from Neville's shield.
"Hedwig" the Longbottom heir reminded the redheaded boy.
"Right" the Weasley boy said sheepishly. "You know you were a lot nicer when you were shy." Neville just smile recognizing that Ron was joking.
"Hey! Do you want to hear the riddle or not?" Sir Malachi complained, losing the booming echo effect in his voice.
"Sorry" Ron and Neville his voice the mutant wizard regained his composure and the dramatic tone in his voice.
"As I was sayingith. A maze is like a brain. A Dungeon is a mind. Make one slip. You'll be forever left behind." His riddle delivered the projection disappeared in a puff of smoke leaving Harry and the others to ponder the riddle's meaning.
"Well?" Harry asked as he and the others looked expectantly towards Hermione.
"What?"
"What the bloody hell was he talking about?" asked Ron.
"Well first Ronald don't talk to me like that." Hermione said crossly. "And what makes everyone so sure I know what the riddle means."
"Solving things is kind of what you do" said Ginny to which everyone nodded in agreement.
"Yes well…that doesn't mean you should just assume" Hermione argued weakly.
"So Hermione do you have any idea what the riddle means?" asked Neville. The group watched as the brainy Gryffindor went to work deciphering Malachi's riddle, taking in every detail of the corridor they were in when suddenly it hit her.
"Nobody move!" Hermione ordered. "The floor's booby-trapped. Look closely at the floor tiles." It was just as Hermione said random floor tiles were of a slightly different shade randomly scattered across the floor. "The riddle was to warn us of the trap tiles."
"See this is why we ask you" said Ron, but Hermione chose to ignore him not wanting to prove his point.
"Alright guys I don't see any clear path. We'll have to rely on speed and stealth" said Harry. "Remember light quick steps." With Harry leading the charge the group quickly raced across the trapped floor, random tiles falling behind them revealing a lava pool beneath them. Things were looking good as they neared the end when the old Longbottom clumsiness reared its ugly head.
Neville just wasn't as fast or coordinated as his friends and he needed a lot more time between sprints to rest. Harry knew that and had told him that in time that would change and Neville would be surprised by what he could do. Unfortunately time wasn't on his side as he was slowly losing speed during the long run over the rigged floor tiles, finally his body just couldn't keep up as the floor fell out beneath him and he was moments away from falling into the lava bellow.
"Neville!" Harry cried, turning on his heel the young ninja ran as fast as he could pushing his friend to safety as he took Neville's place falling into the lava pool.
It was only once they reached the other side did the full weight of what happened hit them.
"He can't be" Hermione said in disbelief as tears built in her eyes and the others weren't in any better shape.
"This is all my fault" Neville said miserably.
"No it's not Neville" said Ron, his Weasley temper now in full effect. "This is that bloody git Malachi's fault! Come out here, I'll turn you into a feather duster!" In response to Ron's challenge the floor opened up into a slide underneath them sending them tumbling down onto the lower level of the maze, and right in front of Sir Malachi.
"Sir Ronald, you challenge my power!" the bird mutant's voice boomed. "The power of the great highland wizards of the north."
"There aren't any great highland of the north!" said Neville, moving to stand by the Weasley boy's side.
"And if there were they sure as bloody hell wouldn't take you!" said Ron.
"That doesith it" Malachi moved twirled his staff chanting strange unrecognizable words that Hermione was sure wasn't an actual spell of any kind. His chanting complete Malachi fired a beam of magical energy at Ron and Neville but neither boy felt anything was wrong.
"Ha is that all you've got" Ron challenged.
"Um guys" Hermione said slowly.
"What?" asked Neville, both he and Ron kept their eyes on Sir Malachi.
"Your heads have been turned into turkeys."
"What?!" Taking a moment to look at each other the boys were shocked that their heads had in fact been transformed into turkeys.
"Change them back!" Ginny demanded, her Weasley temper coming to a boil.
"No way" Malachi refused childishly. "You're playing by my rules now. Anyone who forfeits the game will be turned into a squirrel."
"That doesn't sound very pleasant" said Luna, causing everyone to wonder how she could remain so calm after what's happened.
"Right on to your next riddle. Ahem, I mean your next riddle: Where you thinkith you are. Trouble if you boast. If thou taketh too long, you shall be as toast." Malachi then vanished in a puff of smoke as the ceiling above them opened up into a ramp.
"We should run" Luna said calmly. Her words proved true as a massive flaming bolder rolled down towards them. The kids ran for their lives as the heat from the flames licking at their backs. As the bolder was gaining on them it was Ginny who noticed an approaching alcove.
"Follow me" she said, diving into the alcove followed by the others. "Is everyone alright?" she asked to which everyone confirmed…well except Ron and Neville were still turkeys.
"But I've got one problem" Ron said angrily, turning his attention to Luna. "You've been calm this entire time, even after…losing Harry. Not to mention you knew all about The Kraang and the Turtles."
"Easy Ron" said Neville trying to get his friend to calm down. "Remember she talked about Jack Kurtzman."
"Yeah a name she could've picked up!" Ron argued. "For all we know she sold us out to Malachi!"
"Ron, Luna's my friend" Ginny argued in defense of her friend. "I've known her for years."
Despite Ron's harsh accusations the first year Ravenclaw spoke calmly. "I don't believe Harry is dead."
"Oh" said Ron, starting to feel a little bad about accusing her. "Why?"
"The riddles" said Luna. "They're the key."
"What do you mean?" asked Hermione, wondering if she could've missed some great detail.
"Hermione when you solved the riddle about the trap floor; did you use the whole clue?"
"No, I couldn't make sense of the first part so I focused on the second part 'make one slip and be forever left behind'" A light bulb went off in Hermione's mind as she realized what Luna was saying. "The first part of the riddles they go together."
"Exactly" Luna smiled. "And remember what Harry said about the monkey-goblins?"
"He said that they were from a board game."
"So what this is all a game?" asked Ginny.
"Exactly" said Hermione. "Remember Malachi even referred to this as his game."
"Yeah when he turned me and Ron into turkeys" Neville grumbled, earning a comforting hug from Luna.
"It's alright you make wonderful turkeys."
"Err thanks…I think" honestly Neville wasn't sure what to make of that. "Anyway you were explaining about why you think Harry's ok."
"Oh right. Well it's simple; how can you play a game, if there's no one to play with" said Luna.
"Of course!" Hermione cheered, sharing a smile with Luna as the others watched on with confused expressions.
"Ok want to explain for the rest of us?" asked Ginny.
"It's like Luna said. A game's no fun if there aren't any players" said Hermione. "If it was easy to get new players, then why didn't Malachi destroy Ron and Neville when they challenged him?"
"Because he can't" said Neville, now understanding what the girls were saying.
"Or it's just too much trouble" Luna added, taking over for the explanation. "So he keeps us trapped here until we can find a way out of his game."
"So you think he has Harry" Ron concluded. "Then we got to go find him."
"In that case we better get going" said Ginny, pointing to the wall behind them as it vanished, revealing a long ominous hallway.
Steeling themselves the group traveled down the dark pathway eventually opening up into a large chamber filled with a massive pile of gold and on top of the mountain of riches were two magical orbs one containing the shrunken form of Hogwarts the other…
"Harry!" they cried in relief, getting their friend's attention.
"Hey guys what took you so long?" Harry quipped, looking rather bored as he floated inside his prison.
"Why didn't you just absorb the magic?" asked Hermione.
"I tried it. No good."
"Um guys, refresh my memory. Wasn't there some mention of a dragon" said Ginny, alerting them to the low rumbling growling sound echoing through the chamber, followed by a loud thumping.
Ginny, Ron, Luna, Neville, and Hermione stood back to back as they await the arrival of the fearsome monster. They didn't have to wait long as they came face to face with the dragon.
"Norbert?!" Harry, Ron, Neville, and Hermione cried in shock as they recognized the dragon. Unfortunately Norbert had gone through a massive growth spurt as he know stood 35ft tall.
"Norbert. Seriously?" Ginny and Luna questioned.
"Hagrid" Ginny and Luna had to admit that explained everything. Norbert let out a terrible roar as he released a powerful burst of fire from his mouth. Luckily their training kicked in as Neville and the others dived out of the way.
Norbert roared as he continued his rampage, swiping his claws and growing ever more frustrated as the kids managed to avoid his lethal attacks. Taking aim, Luna fires an arrow at the dragon's head only to bounce off harmlessly against Norbert's tough scales.
"Critical Hit!" Ron roared, as he leapt off a pile of gold prepared to bring his axe down on the deadly reptile, only to be knocked out of the sky by Norbert's tail. "Ugh, critical fail."
In retaliation Norbert turned his gaze to the downed turkey headed Weasley, moments away from roasting his feathered butt, when Ginny comes swinging in on her whip, Indiana Jones style, snatching up her brother just before the dragon unleashes his fire breath.
"That's for the monkey-goblins" said Ginny. "We're even." As the Weasley siblings now stand side by side against the deadly dragon, help arrives as Neville in an incredible reckless move climbs up Norbert's back and stabs his sword into the dragon's hide.
As the others were busy fighting off Norbert, Hermione decided to use the opportunity to try and free Harry. A task that was much easier said than done as her efforts to break the orb containing him prove fruitless, as her staff fails to put even a scratch on the sphere.
"Seriously that's the best you've got" Harry complains, watching as Hermione continues to whack her staff against his prison.
"I'm doing the best I can!" Hermione snaps. "And I don't recall telling you to get captured!"
"It's cool sorry. I'm just saying maybe you could try a little harder." Clearly captivity isn't very good for Harry's manners. "Look for get me for now, Hermione. Go help the others."
"But I can't figure out how to make the staff work."
"Come on, you're Hermione Granger. Like Ron said you're the smart one, figure it out."
Things weren't looking good as Norbert had cornered the brave warriors and was moments away from burning them to a crisp. Suddenly a blue beam of magical energy passed over the Hogwarts students' heads, freezing the dragon in solid ice.
"Hermione!" they cheered, as the young witch now stood before them, brandishing her magical staff.
"You figured it out" said Luna, pleased by her friend's accomplishment. The celebration came to an end as Norbert broke free of his icy prison but Hermione wasn't worried, aiming her staff she then cast her spell.
"I cast, Dragon be Gone!" even Luna was looking at Hermione as if she was crazy but their skeptic looks vanished as a giant can marked 'Dragon be Gone' popped into existence spraying an aerosol right in Norbert's face. The dragon then let out a comedic yelp as it fled the chamber like frightened puppy.
"Ok what just happened?" asked Ginny in disbelief.
"I believe Hermione conjured a spray can that somehow repelled the dragon" said Luna. "Ok I am very confused. Is this how you all usually feel?"
With the dragon defeated Harry was released from his prions but to the groups surprise the orb containing Hogwarts simply blinks out of existence, replaced by the form of Sir Malachi.
"Well done Fellowship of Hogwarts. Now I shall prepareth thy next adventure. Then I will playith the game with you forever, and ever, and ever" Malachi laughed manically.
"Forget it Malachi!" Hermione challenged. "We figured it out."
"We did?" Harry questioned.
"This whole thing is an illusion."
"It is? Would someone please fill me in" said a very confused Harry.
"After we've beaten Sir Malachi" promised Luna.
"Nonsense!" Sir Malachi declared. "Thou mustith travel the maze until my heart's contentithary."
"Not happening" said Hermione, as her friends stood beside her.
"With my first attack I cast, Magic Fist!" aiming his staff at the Hogwarts students, a transparent fist of magical energy was fired at the group, scattering them around the room as it hit the ground.
Getting to his feet Harry charged the mutant wizard from behind but the clanging of the gold coins underfoot gave him away.
"You think you can sneak up on the game master! Lightning of Lorenzo" a stream of electricity fired from Malachi's hand, forcing Harry back as he took a few painful volts.
"Rockets of Romanoff!" turning his attention to the approaching Neville, Malachi fired explosive blasts at the turkey headed wizard. Luckily Neville's shield held up under the attack. This provided the perfect cover for Luna as she fired an arrow from behind Neville, straight at Malachi, knocking away his staff. Thinking the mutant helpless, Ron and Ginny charged Malachi but the bird wasn't out of tricks yet.
"You think you can defeat the game master? I cast Egg Bombs of Power!" In a rather disgusting display, Malachi turned and aimed his butt at the Weasley siblings, firing explosive eggs from his backside, prompting them to take cover.
"Ok that's messed up" Ginny commented.
"Everyone listen!" Hermione urged. "Somehow Malachi is making this all in our minds!"
"What? Are you sure, that electricity sure felt real" said Harry.
"Trust me think of the riddles. If we want to be him we have to focus."
Tired of having his powers doubted, Malachi unleased a powerful burst of magical lightning upon the Hogwarts students, trapping them under the weight of his power.
"F-focus it's not real" Hermione urged, gritting her teeth against the pain of Malachi's attack. Focusing on Hermione's words the group focused on trying to turn Malachi's world against him.
"No this is my world!" Malachi roared, as he felt his magic weakening. Try as they might the pain from Malachi's attack was still just too much of a distraction for them, luckily Ginny had the solution. Struggling under Malachi's magic, Ginny picked up a gold coin and threw it at the mutant, nailing him right between the eyes.
"Ow" Malachi groaned. "That smartith."
"Yeah you know what else smarts" said Harry, grabbing the mutant by the collar of his cloak, he delivers a knockout punch breaking Malachi's focus as the world around them vanished in a blinding light.
"Ugh" Harry groaned as he and his friends woke up to find themselves laying outside the Room of Requirement. "Is everyone ok?"
"Yeah we're alright" said Ron, happy to see that his and Neville's heads have returned to normal.
"Yeah and look who we found" said Ginny, as she, Luna, and Hermione walked over with a captured Malachi.
"I think it's time we got some answers" said Harry, ready to draw his tantō if needed.
"I just wanted to play" Malachi said sadly. "My name is Martin Milton. I used to be obsessed with Mazes & Mutants. All that changed the day I was feeding the birds on my roof." The others sent a slight glare at Harry, as the boy-who-lived adopted a guilty look. It didn't take a genius to figure out Martin was a victim of the spilled mutagen in NYC.
"I dawned fair cloak and wizardly hat to become, Sir Malachi: The Sparrow Wizard. I went into the sewers to play a solo LARP, that's when I found Harry and his turtle brothers. I made sure they found the game and I was so happy they liked it. But then I heard Harry talking to his brothers about a real school of magic and I thought it'd be really fun to play with real wizards."
"Ok but how did you get to Hogwarts?" asked Hermione.
"I used my powers to lure Harry out into the sewers and grabbed onto him when he made his trip back to Hogwarts."
"I think I remember now" said Luna. "We were surprised to see a mutant in Hogwarts and before we could question him, Malachi used his powers to put us in the game."
"Yeah Luna, was the hardest to put under her mind is really one of a kind" said Malachi, explaining why Luna was able to stay calm the whole time. On a subconscious level Luna must've known the truth all along. "I'm sorry about all the trouble I just wanted people to play with."
"You know, now that we know it was just a game. It really wasn't that bad" said Ginny.
"Speak for yourself, you weren't a bloody turkey" Ron grumbled.
"And Malachi's clues were the only reason I figured out it was all an illusion" said Hermione.
"And you guys really did learn how to handle yourselves" said Harry, complimenting his friends progress.
"Maybe we should just let him go" Neville suggested.
"Alright Malachi, we're letting you go" said Harry, not hearing any arguments from his friends. "But you have to promise not force anyone else to play with you ever again."
"Sounds fairith to me" said the sparrow wizard, bumping fists the young ninja.
"So, what now? Are you going to head back to New York?" asked Ron. But Malachi had different plans.
"Actually, I think I want to see what a real magical world is like."
"Ok but drop the Shakespeare" Hermione recommended.
The following afternoon, Harry and his friends moved through the halls of Hogwarts, none of the students or faculty had any idea of what had happened the night before. And they all agreed it was for the best.
"You think, Malachi will be alright?" asked Ginny.
"Who cares, he wanted to see the real magical world and he will" Ron said dismissively.
"Still I just hope we don't see him on the page of the newspaper, on display as a new magical creature." said Hermione.
"Hey what's going on?" asked Neville, pointing to the crowd of students gathering in front of a wall.
"Oh man, please tell me Malachi's messing with us again" Harry groaned.
"I'm afraid not" said Luna. On the wall in front of them, was an ominous message displayed between two windows, shimmering in the light cast by the flaming torches.
The Chamber of Secrets has been opened. Enemies of the Heir, Beware.
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