And Then There Were Two
Chapter Eleven
Most of us have good intentions. We intend to be there when people need us to be, we intend to show up to work on time, we intend to attend the important events in life. Most of us intend to get things done by a deadline, to keep our promises, and to pay back the loans we take out. It's rare that we intend to do wrong. We don't just wake up in the morning and decide to let someone down, or let ourselves down. The problem is, sometimes it's out of our control. Sometimes our intentions don't get us the results we want. Sometimes we do get hurt. Sometimes the people we love get hurt. Sometimes intentions just aren't enough.
Meredith's next eight weeks of pregnancy had gone by without a hitch, and before she knew it she was at the twenty-three week mark. There had been no signs that she was going to suffer any more of the contractions that had almost cost her the baby she was now head-over-heels for. She'd spent her first few weeks home just sort of getting back into the swing of things around the house but by the time the second month rolled around, she had turned into a crazy woman, spending her days shopping for all things baby when she wasn't at work. The extra room had quickly become one piled with blue and green onesies, burp cloths, blankets, socks, and even cute little shoes. For a while there it was one big storage bin. The bigger stuff she had waited on, figuring they'd get a pretty nice baby shower from everyone at work. Still, she hadn't been able to help purchasing the cute little clothes she saw while she was out. Derek had laughed, when he started noticing her obsession. It didn't bother him one bit. If she wanted to bring bags of baby clothes home every day until their son was born, he wasn't going to stop her.
Eventually the two of them had gotten around to painting the nursery and transforming it into a Yankee-themed room for Grayson, complete with all of the memorabilia anyone could ever want, and then some. Meredith had made sure that everything about it was perfect, from the furniture and paint color down to the smallest details like the letters that hung over the crib spelling out his name, or the pictures of she and Derek that hung on the wall. Derek had helped out on the things he was good at, like painting and putting furniture together, but had left the other stuff to her. He was thrilled with how it turned out though, and both of them agreed that having the room finished just made it more difficult to be patient about having their little boy in their arms.
By the time the day of her next appointment with Addison came, she was excited rather than nervous, figuring there was no way that anything could go wrong at this point. She was finally feeling truly great again, and Meredith had made sure to remind her husband that the appointment was at ten just before he'd left early that morning, though she had no doubts that he would be there. After all, Addison was flying in from Los Angeles. On top of that, Derek was involved with everything baby, and he was still incredibly overprotective and watchful when it came to her. For now, Meredith enjoyed him being everywhere and involved with everything, though she was sure a time would come soon when she would need a little breathing room.
"Hey, remember that patient I brought you in for a couple of months ago? Trenton Thomas?" Mark caught Derek in the hallway around eight that morning, coffee in hand. "You look like you could use one of these." He grabbed an extra out of the hands of an intern that was standing nearby.
Derek gave him a look, and shot a sympathetic glance toward the girl who seemed willing to do just about anything to please the plastic surgeon next to her, "I don't want your intern's coffee, Mark."
"I always have her pick me up two of them. Just in case one doesn't do the trick. She didn't drink it. Geez. What kind of a person do you think I am?"
"Is that a trick question?" Derek ended up taking the cup of Starbucks coffee even though he didn't really think it was such a great idea to use doctors as personal assistants.
"So, Trenton Thomas?" Mark changed the subject. "Maybe after you're awake you'll remember him better."
"I remember him. He was the burn patient that had memory loss and dilation in his right pupil. CT showed no significant findings. I put him on a low dose of Mannitol anyway."
"Yeah...can't believe you remember all of that."
"I try to remember the patients I have. Helps avoid making a mistake, or having a lawsuit on your hands." Derek couldn't help but think back to the man who had put a bullet in his chest. Remembering his wife hadn't done any good that day. She was still dead. So maybe that only worked if your patients lived.
"Regardless, I need you to open him up. I discharged him about a month ago, but he's back."
"Excuse me?" Derek looked confused.
"He came in late last night. I sent him for an MRI early this morning. He has a massive bleed going on. If we don't get in there soon I don't think he's going to stand much of a chance."
"Let me take a look at the scans," Derek was skeptical. "I don't normally open up every guy that has a brain bleed. Sometimes there are safer options."
"I think you'll be more willing to agree with me when you take a look at him, and the bleed." Mark walked with Derek into the patient's room, giving him time to look everything over.
"Page Nelson." Derek glanced at the clock once he had done a focused neurological assessment of the middle-aged man in the bed. By then it was eight-thirty. There was no way he could open up that guy's brain and make it to Meredith's appointment by ten.
"No offense to the man, but he's not exactly someone that I want opening up my patient's skull." Mark frowned, waiting to talk until he was in the hallway with Derek.
"I can't do it, Mark. And this guy is average age, previously healthy except for the burns he had when he was here. He's an open and shut case."
"Since when do you turn down patients?" Mark was completely caught off-guard and confused as to what was going on. "This guy needs a pretty serious operation, and he's already gone through a lot. He had burns on thirty percent of his body."
"Nelson can handle the surgery, Mark. I can't do it."
"The board didn't show you had anything scheduled until this afternoon other than that elective at noon. So I don't quite..."
"Mark!" Derek sighed, getting frustrated. "Meredith has her appointment today, and I have to be there. Addison flew in. So this is not up for discussion. I'm not the only neurosurgeon in this hospital, and I'm not going to take that case."
"You realize that Webber isn't going to like this, right? I mean, your name is on Trenton's chart. You were the guy that previously came for a consult. He's going to want you to follow through."
"The guy has been gone since then, Mark. We're not talking about something that happened yesterday. If the chief has a problem, he can come to me about it. Until then, find someone else." Without giving him a chance to respond, Derek simply walked away.
Mark didn't have to open his mouth to tattle on his friend, though. Richard Webber was standing just around the corner and quickly stepped in front of the former chief of staff when he made the turn. "You will scrub in on that surgery."
"Richard," Derek frowned, already annoyed.
"We're not going to stand here and discuss it. That man is your patient and you will scrub in as his surgeon. End of story."
"Richard." He wasn't even sure what to say. The older man's behavior was completely out of character. He wondered if it was some power play, a move to put him back in his place since he was no longer in charge. "I'm not doing that surgery. That guy's case isn't that complicated, and I'm not going to miss Meredith's appointment with Addison because of him. I'm not doing the surgery. " Despite trying to stay calm considering they were in the center of a unit that was pretty busy, his voice was already starting to rise.
"You are doing the surgery. I don't care where it is you have to be. You're on the clock, so unless you're dying, there's no excuse to turn down surgeries. Am I making myself clear?" The chief was raising his voice too, trying to make a point. The hospital had gotten away from him before. Many times. He wasn't going to let that happen again.
"You're make yourself very clear, but that doesn't change anything. I'm still not scrubbing in."
"Yes,you are."
"I'm not doing the surgery, Richard, so you might as well give it up! I have somewhere to be this morning!" Now he was yelling.
"If you don't lower your voice, Dr. Shepherd, you're going to find yourself out the door!" Correction. They were both yelling.
"I guess that's my option then, because I'm not going to change my mind! This is absurd! I'm not the only man in this hospital capable of taking care of a brain bleed!"
"If you have a problem with the way I run this department, Dr. Shepherd, then you can make an appointment to see me in my office. I'll have no problem arranging for you to take some unpaid time off." It wasn't that Richard wasn't grateful that it was because of Derek he had his job back. He just wasn't about to cut people slack anymore. Slack created holes in the system. And holes in the system created room for error. Room for error created men with guns walking in and putting bullets into people that were there to save lives.
Derek opened his mouth to start arguing but decided against it. Instead he walked away, throwing what was left of his coffee into a trashcan near the nurses station. The half-full cup spilled into the bag and would inevitably leave a nice big mess for someone else to clean up. Normally he would care, but today he didn't. He was angry. There wasn't any mistaking that. But he also knew that there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. Richard was right. He did need to scrub in on that patient's surgery, even if it meant missing that appointment with Meredith. All he could hope for was that she would understand. There was a part of him that was willing to walk out the doors of that hospital for her, but he didn't want to do something stupid that he would regret later.
The only thing he did regret was that he didn't have a minute to make a call to his wife before he went into the operating room.
"Dr. Shepherd. Do you have a minute to..."
"Dr. Kepner," Derek smiled at her on his way to the OR with his patient in tow after the consent forms had been signed. "I'm actually busy at the moment."
"Oh, well, is there anything I can do? I mean, to help?" April was eager to scrub in, to be useful somewhere.
"Actually," Derek stopped just as he got to the scrub room, letting the nurse wheel his patient into the operating room. "I'm suppose to be somewhere with Meredith this morning but I'm not going to be able to make it. So if you could give her a call and let her know, that would be great."
Even if she was happy to help him, there was a slight look of disappointment on Dr. Kepner's face, and he noticed it right away.
"Then you can scrub in. Ever helped with a bleed repair before?"
"I'll be there, Dr. Shepherd." April smiled, quickly heading off in the direction of the nearest phone. "Thank you!"
Derek chuckled a bit, watching her go. He was always happy to be the one that didn't mind letting residents in on his surgeries, even ones that weren't so general. After all, his wife was a resident, so he was used to it.
** GA ** GA ** GA **
"Derek couldn't make it," Meredith sat on the exam table with legs dangling over and her hand resting on her growing belly.
Addison had a look of both slight confusion and understanding on her face, "I thought you guys have had this on your calendar for a couple of months now?"
"He did know about it. But I got a call from April Kepner." Meredith made a face, "Said he was in surgery. He promised me he'd be here, but I guess something came up." Even she didn't sound convinced.
"I'm sure it was important," Addison tried to reassure her, seeing right away just how upset she was. "Derek isn't the type of guy to miss things that are important, especially not for people he cares about."
"Yeah." Meredith sighed. "It's just that you're not here all the time, and I guess I was hoping that he'd be here. But it's no big deal."
The red-headed doctor gave her a sympathetic smile before she sat down to get things started. Derek or no Derek, she was only in town for the morning, so there wasn't time for them to sit around and chat. "I've read through all of Dr. Hayes' notes and he seems to think that you're doing exceptionally well considering all that happened early on. How many days are you back at work now?"
"I'm usually here four days a week, but I only work ten-hour shifts, and I'm resting as much as I can. I haven't really had any problems, I mean not any more than most people do."
Addison nodded, scribbling a few of her own notes into Meredith's chart. "Since he did your last ultrasound four weeks ago, I won't do an entire biophysical profile today, but I at least want to take a look and see for myself."
"Alright," Meredith pulled her shirt up so she could lie back on the table, wiggling her pants down a bit so they weren't covering the cute little baby bump she had.
Unlike the last appointment Addison had with Meredith, she didn't spend too much time looking over the ultrasound in detail, but she did take the time to make sure that she saw what was important to her. It just wasn't her nature to take someone else's word for it when it came to her patients, so she always tried to redo things herself when she had the chance.
"Is everything okay?" The silence made Meredith uncomfortable, and she found herself wishing Derek was there next to her. She was angry that he'd gone into surgery, and even more angry that he hadn't taken the time to call her. He knew how important that appointment was to her, and she wasn't in the mood for excuses about why he wasn't there, especially when the phone call to let her know had been April Kepner. She really hated her sometimes.
"Everything's great. I'm not seeing much different than what Dr. Hayes was seeing. The only thing I'm noticing is that your placenta is lying pretty low. It isn't to the point that I would say we should be too concerned, because it's early, but I do think we should keep an eye on it. Hopefully as your pregnancy progresses it will move off to the side."
"And if it doesn't?" It had been a long time since Meredith had her obstetrics rotation, and she tended to forget most of it.
"You shouldn't worry yourself with that right now, but I will make a note of it in your chart to let Dr. Hayes know that he needs to monitor it."
"Addison," Meredith wasn't satisfied with her answer. "If it doesn't, what happens?"
"I'm usually one to go on the side of caution, so if the placenta were to stay this low, I would say that it would probably be safest to deliver by c-section to avoid a tear during delivery. But like I said, there's a lot of time between now and then." She put the ultrasound wand down and got up. "You're lucky to be doing this well, Meredith. Most patients I see that have contractions and a thinning cervix at twelve weeks end up miscarrying or having a preemie."
Meredith slowly sat up. "I know." She wasn't stupid. She was very lucky, and she knew that.
"From what I can see, there aren't any indications that you'll be delivering this little boy anytime soon."
"Thank you, for coming all the way here just to spend an hour with me."
Addison smiled, "I don't want to have to give you my same speech about family again. But next time, you tell your husband that he better have his butt in this room when I come."
Meredith smiled a little, "He'll be here, trust me." She pulled her shirt back down. "When do you think you'll be back? You should come for the baby shower. Cristina said they were planning one."
"Cristina Yang is planning your baby shower?" She laughed, shaking her head a bit. "I'm not sure that's the greatest idea."
"She's going to have help." Meredith assured her. "But really, you should be here for it." Where did that come from? Inviting Addison to the baby shower? You've really grown up.
"When are they planning on having it?"
"It's going to be in a couple of months. I'll be thirty-one weeks then, so I figured it would be a perfect time. May seventh. I think that's a Friday night."
Addison nodded. Even if she wasn't sure she'd be the most welcomed person at the shower, she could tell that Meredith wanted her to be there. "Maybe I can come down that weekend and see you the following Monday." She suggested. Before Meredith could respond though, she added as an afterthought. "Isn't Derek's birthday on that Sunday?"
Meredith nodded, happy with the plans. "Yeah, and that's why we're going to throw him a surprise party that Sunday afternoon. So you'll be here for that too. It's going to be a full weekend." She had shocked even herself by inviting Derek's ex-wife to the baby shower and the birthday party, but she was glad that she had. After all that Addison had done for them and for Grayson, she felt like it was the least she could do.
"I'm glad that things are going well for you, Meredith." Addison really was happy for both she and Derek, even if the woman in front of her had been the reason that her marriage had ended.
"Me too."
** GA ** GA ** GA **
"I need you to monitor Mr. Thomas for the next hour or so. Make sure that everything is logged and that you call me if there are any changes," Derek signed off on his patient's chart after the surgery before handing it over to April. He had run straight through his noon surgery, so that had been rescheduled, but even the cancellation had left him just half an hour before he had to be back in the operating room again with yet another patient that couldn't be pushed back.
"Yes sir." April was thrilled beyond belief to have the responsibility of Derek's patient in her hands, and she took the chart. If he wanted her monitor his patient for the next hour, she had no complaints.
"And if there's an emergency while I'm in surgery, you page the chief or Dr. Nelson," Derek was sure to give her specific instructions. He didn't usually like to leave his craniotomy patients so soon after their surgeries, but this time he didn't really have a choice. He needed to talk to Meredith before he scrubbed in for another five hours. Without waiting for her response, he walked off toward the on-call room in an effort to find a quiet place where he could make a phone call to his wife.
"Dr. Shepherd." Meredith was surprised to see him walk in just as she was pulling her hair back into a ponytail. She was dressed in scrubs, an outfit that caused a look of confusion to cross his face.
"I didn't realize you were working today." When she didn't respond, he sighed. "Meredith."
She ignored him, starting to walk past him and to the door. She wasn't in the mood to discuss his absence from her appointment, at least not yet.
"Meredith." Derek frowned. "Mer, wait." He sighed and grabbed her arm, gently. "I'm sorry I missed the appointment."
"Dr. Shepherd," She emphasized his name, pulling her arm way from him. "If you'll excuse me, I have work to do. There are patients in this hospital, you know."
"Don't do this." The anger from earlier was starting to come back, though he instantly reminded himself that it wasn't her he was mad at. It wasn't her fault, none of it was.
"I don't have time to talk right now."
"At least tell me how the appointment went."
She looked at him as if he were crazy, then simply shook her head and stepped into the hallway.
"Meredith!" Derek frowned and went after her. "It was out of my control. I tried to get out of it, I did. I stood in the hallway and had a two year-old fit over being at that appointment. I would never miss something like that. You know that."
"The only thing I know, Derek, is that you weren't there. I don't care why it is that you weren't there. The point is that I had to go by myself. I had to go by myself and you promised me you were coming. And then on top of everything else, you couldn't even have the decency to call and tell me! You had your girlfriend do it!" She finally stopped and swung around to face him.
"Meredith!" Derek frowned. "I would have called you if I could have. There was no time. And she happened to be there when I realized I needed someone else to do it for me. I would have done anything to be there with you, Meredith. You know that."
"No, Derek. Not today! Today your surgery was more important than your son!"
He pulled her back into the on-call room so they weren't making a scene, a look of hurt crossing his face. "Nothing is more important to me than you and this baby." Both of his hands were resting on her shoulders. "Do you understand me? You mean everything to me, Meredith."
"I'm late, Derek. I'm supposed to be working, and you're making me late." There were tears in her eyes.
With a deep frown settled on his face, he reached out and brushed a tear from her cheek. "Please don't cry. I'm sorry, Meredith. I'm so sorry." Despite his attempts to pull her into his arms, she just stepped away from him.
"It's no big deal." She shrugged. "You're a surgeon. We're both surgeon's. This is what we do. We put surgery and our job before anything else. Just like my mother."
Now he was angry. "I am nothing like your mother, Meredith Grey! You know that!"
"It seems that you're a lot more like her than I thought, Derek! Is this how it's going to be when Grayson is here?! You're just going to blow us off for surgery and claim that you couldn't help it?!"
"I did not blow you off, Meredith! Stop it!" He was yelling, jerking her toward him as he grabbed her shoulders again. "Stop it, now! I'm sorry I wasn't there! But I'm not going to let you accuse me of the things that are coming out of your mouth!"
His anger, his yelling, his grip on her, caused Meredith to suddenly become quiet, and she looked down with the same tear-filled eyes. "I'm fine." When she finally did speak her tone was hesitant, timid.
"Meredith." Derek sighed and let her go, only to pull her into his arms. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You have no idea how much I put up a fight to be with you today. But the chief gave me an ultimatum, and I didn't feel like I had a choice. I know I let you down and I know I hurt you. For that, I'm sorry."
She let him hold her. At first it was because she was scared that if she didn't he was just going to get angry again. After a moment, though, it helped to calm her own anger and nerves, and she rested her head against his chest.
"I didn't mean to get angry with you," He ran his hand through her hair. "I love you so much, Meredith. I hate that I couldn't be there with you today."
"I know," She was finally calming down enough to have a rational conversation with him. "Really Derek, I'm fine."
Fine is never good. She isn't fine. Don't let her get away with telling you she's fine. But he ignored his thoughts and sat down on one of the beds with her, pulling her onto his lap. "What did Addison say?
"She didn't say anything. She said everything is fine. There wasn't really any news. Just, another ultrasound. My placenta is low, but she said it wasn't a big deal. She'll be back in another eight weeks. I invited her to the baby shower."
"Fine is, better than bad." Derek sighed, realizing that she wasn't in the frame of mind yet to be able to talk to him about it. He was surprised at her last comment, but decided not to mention that either.
"I should get back to work," Meredith looked at him for a moment before she got up and walked out of the room.
He didn't try to stop her. Derek knew better, now, than to try to stop her. He could tell that she needed her space, and he didn't want to push her too far. Later, though, he would let the chief have it. That much he was sure of.
** GA ** GA ** GA **
When they both got home around eight that evening, there wasn't much said right away. Tension still hung in the air despite the conversation they had earlier that afternoon.
Meredith wanted to be able to talk to him, to just put everything aside and move forward, but she struggled with the forgetting part. Forgiveness she was good at. She loved Derek too much to hold something like that over his head, but it still hurt that she'd been at that appointment all by herself.
"You should take a part-time job in interior decorating," Derek came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her belly as he stood in the finished nursery with her. "This really is amazing, Meredith. I never knew you were so talented in decorating, especially not from the way the rest of the house is just sort of half finished." The last part was meant to be a tease, in hopes that he could get a smile out of her.
Meredith not only smiled, she laughed. Even if she'd walked in hurt and angry with him, there was just something about standing in their son's nursery and having her husband tease about how terrible and lazy she was when it came to finishing up their house. It was impossible to stay upset. "And how much work have you done?" She turned to face him, resting one hand under her belly and grinning when he rested his on the top. "Because I'm pretty sure that you know how to hang up pictures and move furniture around."
"I thought this conversation was about you."
Meredith laughed, kissing him. "This conversation is about being nice to your pregnant wife." She paused as she looked around the room. "Did I tell you that I got to see him on ultrasound again? I have pictures." She pulled the three photos out of the pocket of her scrubs, handing them to Derek. "He's perfect."
There was no argument from the man in front of her, "He is perfect." For a minute, all he could do was stare at the pictures in awe. When he was done looking at them, he tucked them into his shirt pocket, deciding he wanted them on his desk at work.
"I can't wait to have him here." Meredith admitted, smiling as she looked up at Derek. "I can't wait to hold him and kiss him and cuddle with him. He's going to look so cute in his crib."
"You're going to be a great mom, Meredith."
"You're going to be a great dad," There was a pause. "You owe me, by the way. You owe me, for earlier." She was suddenly flirty.
Derek grinned, kissing her again before he responded, his free hand resting on the small of her back as he looked down at her. "You're right. I do owe you. And I think today's mistake is worth one wish. So what will it be?"
"Normally I'd pick something really good." She was still smiling, obviously enjoying the time they were able to spend just enjoying each other's company. "But tonight, I think sex will do." Her shoulders shrugged as if it were no big deal.
"Did you just imply that sex with me wasn't really good? Like it's just an afterthought? Or leftovers?" Derek laughed. "Did you just compare sex with me to yesterday's spaghetti?"
Now she was laughing, trailing her fingers down his side. "Dirty sex, with you, is good. Really good. That's why it's my wish, for tonight. Because you owe me. You owe me the good kind of dirty sex. The elevator kind. Not the leftover kind."
"Are we talking about the elevator kind when we first met, or the elevator after we got past the whole being married and breaking up and getting back together part?" Derek enjoyed playing along with the way she teased him, just happy to have her smiling again.
"Definitely the first one. It was more exciting. More mysterious."
"Dirty, married, elevator sex it is." Derek laughed and scooped her up into his arms, carrying her to the bedroom.
The next chapter will be intense and life-changing for these characters, so get ready for it.
* Revised 6/2017