That night, I lay in my new bed in my assigned room and listen to the sounds out my window. I am cold. Snow blows in from the open window, along with a freezing chill. But I need some noise to fall asleep. I have been with the Dauntless so long.
Tobias will be mad at me. I am almost sure of it. Maybe I am unfair to Eva, but who can trust any of the people from the fringe? And never showing up in his room might not have been a good idea. Oh well. What's done is done.
I listen to the noises, pull up the sheets of the hotel bed, and try desperately to fall asleep. Of course, that is not easy when the thought of Caleb refuses to leave my mind. I know it is not fair that I am mad at him, that I distance myself. It is the easiest answer to this problem.
My parents would be disappointed.
I turn my head so my face presses into the clean white pillowcase. A small tear leaks from the corner of my eye. My selfless parents would want me to do whatever I could to help him get back to his old self.
I can't let them down again. Tomorrow, I will talk to Caleb. I will talk to him, and tell him all about himself, and everything that makes him my brother. I need him back. A deep sense of calm fills me. I fall asleep without another worried thought.
When I wake up in the morning, it is early. The sun is still down, so I have to click on the small lamp on the bedside table. It casts feeble yellow light across the room. I quickly shower and get dressed. I have things to do today.
I leave my room and freeze, slipping the key into my pocket. Tobias leans against the wall outside my room. I step back and stare at him. He stares back. I look into his eyes, the dark blue that I will never forget.
"Hello Tris," he says. I feel like wrapping my arms around him; I feel like kissing him for as long as I want to. But I am not sure if he is mad.
"Tobias," I reply. My hands shake a little bit. I push them into my pockets so he doesn't notice.
Tobias looks up, then back down at me. He looks...I don't know. Scared? Why would he possible wear that expression. "Can we go in?" His voice gives away nothing.
I nod and fumble for the key. It swipes through the black box and I open the door. It swings open and Tobias follows me in. I sit on the edge of my bed and he sits next to me. "What is it?" I say softly.
Tobias runs a hand through his short dark hair. "Tris. I don't want to fight with you. I..." he says, trailing off. I feel my hand on his. I don't remember moving it.
I feel a thick choking warmth in my throat and try not to let it show. "Tobias, where is this coming from?"
He looks at me. His eyes are wide and sad. I shift myself a bit closer to him. Last night was lonely; I do not want to be alone any more. "I have almost lost you so many times," he says.
"You have no idea how it was, that day. I came back from the city find Cara waiting for us. She told us you were in a coma. When we went to see you, your heart stopped. Several times. Tris..." He places a hand on my cheek. "I don't want to lose you," he whispers.
I wrap my arms around him and pull him into my embrace. "I love you, Tobias. I'm not going anywhere." I say quietly into his ear.
He pulls back slightly and studies my face. I stare into his dark blue eyes and feel affection rising within me, affection for him. He has stayed at my side all this time. Our lips touch.
I run a hand up his back and into his short hair. We jump apart when a loud, persistent knocking fills the room. I get up and open the door. Eva stands outside.
She is wearing very short pants and a tight shirt with no straps. The Abnegation in my recoiled from the bizarre fashion, from the showing of so much skin. She smiles. "Is Tobias in there? I've been looking for him everywhere!"
I feel my lips pucker. "Yes he is." My voice is cold. She just tilts her head slightly and smiles down at me, her stare condescending. I suddenly feel like a child. Tobias walks up behind me and opens the door all the way.
"Eva. How did you know where to find me?" he asks. If I were Tobias, I would be angry. I might even throw a punch. But he just stands there with a blank expression.
She tosses a lock of wavy red hair over her shoulder. "You know...I asked around. Come on, we're having another meeting." She looks at me and smiles again. It seems challenging.
Tobias sighs and looks at me. "What meeting?" I ask, crossing my arms.
"Well...I've been going to these meetings with Eva and some of her friends from the fringe. You know, to discuss the new Bureau." He looks uncomfortable.
"Why did you not tell me?" I say. My voice shakes as the last word leaves my mouth. Did he not trust me?
Eva smiles at Tobias and touches his arm. "Come on Tobias, we'll be late. Maybe you can bring Beatrice next time." She tosses a carefree glance in my direction.
"I'll be back, Tris." Tobias touches my cheek and leaves the room. I watch him walk down the hall next to Eva through the narrowing crack of hallway I can see behind the closing door.
"Why do you let her boss you around, Tobias?" Eva's bubbly voice floats back to me. She swings her hand out and grabs his. He begins to talk.
The door clicks shut.