Chapter 11 – Puppet

The puppet leaned against the tree at her back and gazed towards the sea. The sunset was especially beautiful this evening. The sky was alight with color, pinks and yellows and reds streaking its vast expanse as the sun sank ever lower in the sky. It reminded her of Twilight Town and all the moments she'd spent on the clock tower there with her friends after work.

She'd made her choice. She wouldn't change her decision, had she been given the chance; but she still wished with all her heart that she could see them one more time. Knowing that she'd done the right thing didn't make their separation any easier to bear.

What she wouldn't give to see their smiling faces, to hear them say her name, to laugh at their jokes again. But such hopes were pointless, and it was foolish to indulge in them.

That was the reality of the world she lived in now. She was alone, and it was going to be another night spent under the stars with no one to see her or hear her or touch her.

How she craved the touch of another person. It was like an aching need gnawing away at her insides, stronger and deeper than hunger or thirst had ever been. She'd lost count of how many days it had been now since Roxas had held her as she'd faded away in his arms.

I might as well be invisible. Do I really exist, if no one else knows about me? If no one even cares?

"Someone, anyone, please. See me. Hear me. Touch me. Show me that I'm real. Show me that I'm not imagining my own existence."

But other than the waves crashing against the shore, it was silent. The only voice in this place was hers. She didn't know why she kept speaking out loud. No one could hear her. How pathetic she sounded, how pathetic and lonely in this empty place, this prison for one.

It's hopeless. I'll be alone until the day Sora dies, if I don't fade away into nothingness first. And it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if I live or die, because no one even remembers me.

I don't even remember my own name.

But at least… at least I remember theirs.

"Roxas, Axel, I-I hope you're doing okay." A tear slid down her cheek, and she lifted a hand to wipe it away. But then more came, and they wouldn't stop, no matter what she did. "I just wish I could eat ice cream with you one last time. I want to see your smiles again."

"How can they smile without you there?"

She froze. It was an answer. An answer from another voice. An answer from a voice that wasn't hers.

She lifted her eyes. Someone was standing there. Someone with brown hair and eyes as blue as the sky.

It was Sora. How he'd gotten there, and how long he'd been listening, she had no idea. Flustered, she tried to hide her tears from him.

"If you're looking for Roxas, then—"

He shook his head. "That's not why I'm here," he said softly.

Her heart lurched. He couldn't possibly mean—

"Xion." At the sound of her name, spoken so warmly and tenderly, she lost it completely. No one should know it anymore. It was supposed to be gone, lost. Even she'd forgotten it. That was the price she'd paid for the sake of the person standing before her now.

"Xion," he said again. "Thank you. You gave up everything to save me, and no one even remembered your sacrifice." At this he paused, his voice choked with emotion.

How did he know about that? No one was supposed to remember. Could it be that—

He offered his hand, the setting sun shining behind his hair. "Come with me. Roxas and Axel are waiting."

They remembered. There was no other explanation. The tears that welled up in her eyes now were for a very different reason than the ones that had come before.

They know. They remember.

And Sora… he sees me as I truly am. Not as an image of him or of Kairi or of Ventus.

He called me by my name. He knows I have a name. He knows my name.

Then that means… I really do exist.

I really am real.

She took his outstretched hand. It this… is this what joy feels like?

It had been so long since she'd felt the warmth of another person. She cherished the moment, knowing it would soon become a precious memory.

How strange and wonderful it was, to have a heart.

Her eyes fluttered open. The light of dusk shone from above, and she shielded her face. She gasped at the sight of the hand in front of her.

I have a hand. She wiggled her fingers and toes. I have a body. A body of my own that does what I tell it to.

She sat up and stared at it in amazement, unable to get over this simple fact. She was back in Twilight Town somehow, the familiar soft purples and pinks and yellows of the sky stretching out above her.

Her hand brushed against something, something small and hard. Her fingers closed around it and brought it close. It was a seashell, just like the ones she and Roxas always used to leave for each other. That could only mean—

"Xion," Roxas whispered.

Hearing him say her name proved to be too much. Her lip trembled as she faced him. She took in every inch of his dear face, memorizing this moment so it would stay with her forever. He took her hands and buckled to the ground, weeping at her feet.

"How could I have ever forgotten you?"

He looked up at her, tears streaking his cheeks as if they might somehow carry the guilt and pain in his eyes away, and she ran her fingers through his tousled hair.

"Roxas, don't cry. It wasn't your fault."

"Xion!" Axel was here, too. The mere sight of him made more tears well up in her eyes. He ran over and scooped them both up into a bear hug.

"Axel, you're really here." He didn't have the tattoos under his eyes anymore. Was he finally free from Xemnas, then? From the Organization?

"'Course I am. Didn't I tell you? I'll always be there to bring you back."

How very different those words were now than from when he'd first said them. Xion's grip on his shirt tightened. They were here, and they remembered her. The three of them cried without shame, reunited when before they'd had no hopes of any such thing.

Xion had to thank the people responsible. She searched for Sora, only to see him a little ways away and slumped against the brick wall behind him. His face was pale and covered in sweat, and he clutched a key with sharp, pointy teeth in his fingers.

Xion panicked before she noticed the girl kneeling beside him. Her hand was pressed against his chest and a soft light emanated from her palm. As his body relaxed into her touch, a tender sigh escaped his lips and the color returned to his cheeks. His eyes didn't leave her for a single moment, and that was when Xion knew.

"You must be Kairi." Kairi, the girl Sora—

Kairi turned around and smiled. She had red hair, but otherwise looked a lot like Xion herself.

"That's right. Nice to finally meet you, Xion." After helping Sora to his feet and putting an arm around his waist to steady him, she brought him over to Xion.

"Sora?" Xion asked. What had her rescue cost him? She was afraid to know the answer, and yet—

He put his free hand on her shoulder, and his grip was firm enough that it eased her worries.

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine," he said. The look he exchanged with Kairi afterwards was downright heartwarming.

"We're just glad you're here," Kairi said, her eyes lingering on Sora for a moment before she looked at Xion again.

"Me too," Xion said. "Thank you."

Sora smiled. In her short existence, Xion had hardly seen anything so beautiful. And was that Naminé there a little ways behind him?

"Naminé… you helped them remember me, didn't you?"

Naminé nodded. "Even I had forgotten. But Sora saw you, and he wouldn't rest until we could remember." She smiled. "Truth be told, I didn't either. It's good to have you back, Xion."

There was someone missing, someone Xion knew must not be far away if Sora and Kairi were both here. "Where's Riku?" she asked.

"The others are waiting outside," Roxas explained. "This is a data version of Twilight Town. We used it to create a body for you."

Axel put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry. Your body will come into the real world. It worked just fine for Roxas and Naminé."

Xion breathed a sigh of relief. Her gaze flickered to the clock tower. "What do you say we go back to the real Twilight Town then? I could really use some ice cream."

And so the three of them returned to the clock tower as if no time had passed at all. Never had sea salt ice cream tasted so good. And never, in all her dreams, had she imagined that she'd return to this place again with her two best friends. Oh, she'd hoped it, in the deepest part of her heart, but she never thought that that dream would become a reality.

She'd often wondered if it was foolish to dream. For most of her life, she had been told so. She was a replica, a copy that nature had never intended to exist, made for a specific purpose. Anything that strayed from that purpose was unnecessary and therefore pointless. She didn't have a heart, or so everyone told her.

But she did. She did, and anyone who had a heart could dream. No, would dream. There was no helping it.

And now, she was free to chart the course of her own destiny. Free to decide what to do next, free to dream the craziest dreams she could think of and make them a reality. Everything was new and exciting, a series of one first right after the other. She wanted to experience it all, to take it all in.

As she laughed at Roxas's jokes and avoided Axel's tickling fingers, one thought ran through her head, over and over again:

It feels good to be alive, to have a heart. Maybe having one brought great pain, but the joy that came with it? Worth it. Worth it a million times over. Especially knowing that the two people beside her felt the same.

Hearts existed to be connected to each other, after all.

Roxas spent so many hours catching up with Xion on the clock tower, even after Axel had gone back to the mansion, that he didn't know Naminé was missing until Sora came looking for her.

"Have you guys seen Naminé?" he called up, cupping his hands around his mouth. He looked around, but Roxas stopped him. He had a feeling he knew what was troubling her.

"I know where she is," he said. He looked to Xion, silently asking for her permission.

"Go," she said, shoving him playfully. "She's waiting for you." She gave him a sad, knowing smile, and a sharp pang went through his chest.

If only things had been different. Once, they'd shared something special. Once, she'd meant everything to him. She was the one who had taught him what it meant to have a heart, here on this very clock tower.

But that had changed. They'd fought. Then he'd forgotten about her, and though that had been undone, his guilt remained. And now there was another girl, someone he trusted, someone who saw him the way he remembered himself.

Someone who had shown him he still had a heart, even while she found the strength to move on from her own first love and open her heart up to him. Their feelings for each other were different, a softer, calmer thing than the explosive fireworks that had characterized his affection for Xion, but no less real.

But now Xion was here again. He couldn't just leave her. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't shake the feeling that going to Naminé would be a betrayal worse than forgetting Xion had even existed.

"Sora, can you give us a minute?" Xion asked.

"Sure." With that, the two of them were alone. The air around them seemed to grow thicker, and Roxas was uncomfortably aware of the sweat staining his borrowed t-shirt.

"Xion—"

"Roxas—"

She smiled. "You first."

He settled beside her and took her hands in his. "Xion, while you were gone, I—"

"I know. You and Naminé found each other." She massaged the skin on his knuckles between her fingers, her touch soft and soothing. "I was happy when you two finally met. You were so sad and lonely, and you didn't even know why. I couldn't be there for you anymore, but she could, so I asked her to take care of you. Even after she'd forgotten me, she remembered her promise. And for that I couldn't be more grateful."

Her dark hair framed her delicate features and soft blue eyes as she gazed at him in the sunset light. In that moment, Roxas wondered if perhaps she knew him better than he knew himself.

"But Xion," he finally said, "aren't you sad?" He knew he would be, if he were in her shoes. He hadn't wanted this for her. He hadn't wanted this for any of them.

Why is it that no matter what choice I make, someone's gonna get hurt?

But he had to make this choice. It was the only fair thing to do. He refused to string Xion along with false hopes. Even if his feelings for her still lingered on, they were a broken, shadowed version of their former selves, and she deserved better than that.

Especially since he had feelings for Naminé now, too. He couldn't just ignore those. He couldn't pretend they didn't exist. That wouldn't be fair, either.

Xion looked off into the distance, at the sleepy town sprawling out before them with its cozy houses and streets filled with happy families and couples in love and children meeting their friends. It was a world far removed from the conflict, and yet at the very center of everything.

"I suppose I am sad," she finally said. "But I've had time to come to terms with everything. I wasn't sure I'd even have this second chance at life. Now I do, and I don't – I don't want to be sad anymore. Every day is a gift, and I've already spent too many of them being sad as it is."

He wrapped his arms around her, and she nestled her head against his chest and sighed. It was the first time in ages they'd been this close, and Roxas knew, deep down, that it would be the last time, too.

"Roxas," she said, her voice soft and tender, "I'll always love you. You're my best friend, and nothing's ever going to change that. But I have a heart of my own, and I can find love again."

"I know that," he whispered, pulling her closer. "Whoever you choose will be lucky to have you."

They stayed like that for a while as they gazed out at the view, their own private memorial to what might have been, to the things that could never be. It was a time for mourning the loss of what had been taken from them. The ghosts of their memories haunted them, the spirits of happier, more innocent days.

Sora had tried so hard to save them both, to bring healing and restoration where Xehanort had brought nothing but chaos and ruin. But while they had returned to life, there was no undoing the damage to the fragile, tender thing that had once flourished between them.

But they were not without hope. For even as they closed this chapter of their lives, a new one was opening.

"Roxas?" Xion said again.

"Yeah?"

"I want you to be happy. And if that means going to Naminé, then I want you to know that any barriers keeping the two of you apart don't come from me. They never did, and they never will."

He had her blessing. He couldn't put into words what that meant to him.

"Thank you, Xion."

Roxas found himself in the White Room afterwards. Sure enough, Naminé was there, her sketches lining the walls. She sat in her usual chair, but even though her sketchbook was out and her pencils were scattered around, she wasn't drawing anything. Big wet drops were splashed across its pages instead.

"Naminé?"

She looked up, and her eyes were filled with tears. At the sight of him, she hurriedly wiped her eyes and smiled.

"Oh, hello Roxas." Her lip quivered as she spoke. He was by her side in an instant, crouching next to her. He hesitated a moment and then placed a hand on her shoulder.

It felt good to have a body of his own that did what he told it to. It was his body, his heart, and no one else's. Sora had made sure of that. And now the girl beside him had a body of her own, too, her skin soft beneath his touch. She shivered slightly, still not used to the sensations having her own body provided, either.

"Naminé, what's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Nothing's wrong. I'm just glad everyone's happy."

"Then why are you alone? You should be with us."

"I—" She hesitated, and her shoulders drooped. "Roxas, look at my drawings." He did as she requested, examining the drawings lining the walls. They were filled with pictures of him and Sora, with the people important to them included. But there was one person missing.

"You're not in any of them." Roxas frowned. Why wasn't she there? She should be in the pictures. It was wrong for her not to be.

"That's correct."

"Why not? You drew them, didn't you?" Roxas didn't understand why she wouldn't include herself.

"Yes, I did. But don't you see? I was never a part of Sora's life. I tricked him into thinking I was and stole Kairi's place in his heart. I don't have a place I belong. I never did."

Roxas shook his head. "Now that isn't true. Maybe it started out that way, but Sora wants to be your friend, and so does Kairi."

Naminé closed her eyes. "I know. They're kinder to me than I deserve. It's my fault they were separated for so long. I deceived Sora and I made Kairi forget about him. I did everything I could to fix it—"

"And you did!"

"I know. But I still don't really belong with them. And Aqua and Ven have each other, and you and Lea have Xion. Who do I have, Roxas? Where do I belong? I have even less of a reason to exist than regular Nobodies."

She was silent, and so he was he. He had to get this right. He couldn't afford to screw it up.

"We aren't Nobodies anymore, Naminé," he said at last. "We're our own people." He swallowed, gathering his courage. "And do you know who you do belong with?"

Her eyes searched his for answers. The lonely, fragile look in them broke his heart. He thought about all the times she'd helped him when no one else would. She was a good person, and while she might not think so, he knew better.

She was the only one he knew would always tell him the truth. After spending most of his short existence being lied to and deceived, he couldn't put into words how much that meant to him. So he said one simple word instead, hoping she would understand the full meaning behind it.

"Me."

Her eyes went wide at his declaration, her lips parting in surprise. "Roxas, I—"

He took his hands in hers. They were soft but cold, and he rubbed his thumbs against them to bring them warmth.

"Naminé, I have Xion and Axel back, and they mean the world to me. But just like nothing can replace them, they can't replace you, either." He swallowed again. "You were there for me when I needed you the most. Now I want to be there for you. Will you let me do that?"

Naminé nodded, unable to speak. He smiled and picked up one of her pencils. Flipping to a blank page, he handed her another one. "What do you say we make a new drawing, together? This time with you in it."

Tears splashed onto her sketchpad again, but this time they were accompanied by a genuine smile. She wiped her eyes and laughed. "How can I be so happy that I'm crying?"

"Because you have a heart. We both do."

Together, they drew a picture. It was simple, as Roxas wasn't much of an artist. But that didn't matter. It was of the two of them, together again at last. When they were finished, Roxas hung it on the wall.

"See, Naminé? This is real. All of our memories together, all of our feelings – you didn't make them up. This is proof of that. Don't ever forget that."

Naminé smiled. "I won't. I promise. Thank you, Roxas."

In that moment, Roxas understood why hearts exit. It was just like Xion had said: to be connected.

When Naminé came to training the next day, she brought Roxas with her. Riku took one look at her face and knew. He gave her a knowing smile, and she returned it.

"So, Naminé says she wants me to be here when she summons her Keyblade for the first time," Roxas said. He put a hand on her shoulder, and she flushed pink.

It struck Riku that Naminé was a very different person when she was happy.

"All right, show us how it's done," Riku said. He had a good feeling about her chances of success this time.

She held out her hand and concentrated. Her brow scrunched up, and her lips parted slightly as she stared at the space in front of her. Slowly, surely, a golden glow appeared before her. A Keyblade materialized in her hand, and she stared at it in astonishment. The hilt was the emblem of a Nobody's, much like Roxas's, and the keychain attached to it a small blue flower. The blade shone white and silver, the teeth on the end twisted into a wave.

Naminé smiled, her eyes sparkling, as Roxas and Riku both looked on proudly.

"My Keyblade… I finally have a Keyblade." She turned to look at Roxas, a look of pure, childlike wonder on her face.

"See? What did I tell you?" he said. He grinned and gave her shoulder a squeeze. "I'm gonna go spar with Sora some more. Come find me after practice, okay? I wanna take you someplace special."

She nodded, too dazed to say anything. As soon as he was out of the room, she turned to Riku and giggled.

"I take it things went well?" he asked.

She nodded. "I can't believe it. He… he wants to be with me. He actually wants to be with me."

Riku's expression softened. "I don't find that hard to believe."

A curious look entered Naminé's eyes. She paused, as if considering whether she should say something, then thought better of it. Riku was glad about that. Some things were better left unsaid.

"Thank you, Riku, for everything."

"Of course. Now, let's get started. We've got a lot of ground to cover in a short amount of time."

A/N: As always, thank you for reading! And thank you to my guest reviewers both on this story and on my one-shots - I really appreciate your feedback.