"Cimmerian Sunbeams"

Chapter XI

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Starfire had been sitting beside Raven, and put her hands on the frightened girl to soothe her apparent horror. "Raven, calm down. It was merely a bad dream. You have nothing to be afraid of. I am here." She affectionately rubbed Raven's arm, in an almost maternal way.

Blinking at Starfire, Raven finally realized who the other girl was. She appreciatively threw her arms around the Tamaranian. In the moment, all anger and coldness she felt diminished. It merely felt good to be alive, to know that Trigon is not a threat. It was a dream. A nightmare.

It startled her, but Starfire hugged Raven gently. "I am sorry for meddling where I was not supposed to be," she apologized. "I will be sure to keep my distance from now on."

Raven pulled away from Starfire with intense guilt and shook her head. "No. No, I was wrong. I feel terrible. I-I just didn't want you getting hurt… but this is not something I can stop myself. The longer I avoid it, the more powerful it becomes. The dream I just had - well, the nightmare - it was about my father. It was more real than any dream I've ever had before." Starfire nodded. "I'm not sure what it means, or if it's spawned purely out of my anxiety about this whole situation, but I'm taking it as a sign either way. Better safe than sorry."

"Is there anything I can do?"

Raven sighed. Her answer surprised Starfire: "Maybe there is. I've been thinking about it, and maybe you can be of a little help. At least. I may know a protection spell that will come in handy should anything happen to me - or especially you."

Starfire's face lit up. "This is wonderful! What can I do?"

Exhaling sharply, Raven buried her head in her hands. "I…don't know. Not specifically." She put her hands down and contemplated for a moment. "But, I do know where to start." She used her telekinesis to carry over the large spell book she'd been studying. "I can teach you this. It's a book of spells. Even I'm still learning it."

"But I am not a sorceress," Starfire said, a sad intonation in her voice.

"I know. But whatever you did the other day in the pool—that has enormous significance. You could be very powerful." She gently placed the large book in Starfire's lap.

The Tamaranian ran her fingers over the embossed cover. "I remember this book," she said. "This is black magic, is it not? Dangerous magic?"

Raven nodded, avoiding eye contact with the other girl. "It is. It's extremely dangerous and I'm using it as a last resort. If you aren't interested in studying it, I respect your very intelligent decision."

"No. I honestly want to help. I want it no other way." Starfire sighed. "If you have confidence in me, then I have no choice but to have confidence in myself as well."

Raven smiled. "We mustn't tell the others. They would try and stop us - or at least I know Robin would. Cyborg doesn't need to know either. And Beast Boy, well, his mind probably wouldn't be able to process what we're trying to do," she said with a chuckle. "So let this be our secret, okay?"

Enthusiastically, Starfire nodded. "I understand Raven. Let's begin, before more unfortunate things occur to you, yes?"

Raven opened the book and began to go over with Starfire the components she was already familiar with, to save time from reading the unnecessary text. Starfire watched with wide-eyed attention and attempted to take in as much as she possibly could. The two girls pored over the ancient text until past midnight when only Raven's yellowing lamp lit the pages.

"I think that's enough for tonight," said Raven, closing the book. "I don't want to give you too much information. You'd forget it all by morning. Do you have a pretty good understanding so far?"

Starfire nodded. "I do. I am trying my best to follow along. I promise not to let you down." She ran her fingers nervously through her orange hair.

"I really appreciate this."

"And I appreciate that you are letting me help. I promise I will do everything I can."

The two girls locked eyes and Starfire hesitantly leaned in. Raven turned her face and stood up, backing away from Starfire. Their faces both turned bright red. "I'm sorry but... after what happened... you understand, right?"

"Yes of course," said Starfire sympathetically. She looked around nervously. "It is time for sleep now?"

"Unfortunately," replied Raven dryly. "If it were up to me, I'd stay awake for weeks straight - especially after that dream last night. But I can't afford that now. I can't compromise my judgment at a time like this."

"I understand. Well then, I wish you a good night with only sweet dreams and no more nightmares."

"Thanks Star. I'll see you tomorrow. Bright and early, okay?"

She nodded diligently. "Yes! Tomorrow."

Disappointed, she left Raven's room. She had originally hoped to be a little more affectionate, but she recognized that as a selfish feeling. It was hard not to let her mind drift into such fluffy topics, especially at such a serious time when it was so tempting to escape to happier thoughts. Starfire walked into the kitchen and glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost two in the morning. She opened the fridge in search of a meal, but didn't find much that wasn't already spoiled. She pulled out a rounded Tupperware and lifted the cover. It smelled rancid. She sighed and put it back into the refrigerator and retreated to her room instead.

She felt restless. Though her eyes strained when reading the small text of the book, she was now wide awake. She laid in bed quietly and shut her eyes, waiting to fall asleep. What seemed like hours passed, and she sat up, stealing a glance at her clock. It was only a quarter to three. She sighed and rested her head against her wall. Sleep didn't seem probable. She decided to do the next best thing and sit on the roof for a little while.

Quietly, Starfire flew up the stairs and shut the roof door gently. It was windy but the city was quiet. The air was warm; it felt relieving and peaceful. Starfire sat on the edge with her legs dangling, recalling the last time she'd spent up there and was visited by Beast Boy. She cracked a smile at the thought of him having feelings for Raven. It seemed sweet. She vaguely wondered if Raven ever felt the same, even for a moment's time. The thought evoked a strange jealousy in her. If Raven ever did feel the same about him, Starfire would gladly give her up, if it meant happiness for the small, sad girl. The feeling that dominated inside of her was the yearning to help, the yearning to make a difference.

An idea crossed her mind. She stood and wondered if Raven was asleep yet. Maybe, just maybe, if Starfire were quiet enough, she could steal away the book, just for a few hours. That way she could continue studying and slip it back into her room before morning. She would pretend that she just woke up in the morning, and Raven would never know. She couldn't possibly become angry.

Starfire was surprised at how easy it was. Before she knew it, she was carrying the leather-bound book up to the rooftop where she planned to study diligently. She sat comfortably in a cross-legged position and began to read. The book was certainly nothing like a textbook. Every few pages there was a classical drawing of some sorcerer or sorceress summoning a dragon or some kind of spirit. It was difficult for Starfire to get used to the dialect it was written in. It was very proper and it being so old, the wording was a bit different. It was hard for her not to take some of the more figurative language literally, as she normally would. Nonetheless, the book engulfed her. It was dawn before she knew it, and time to quietly return the book.

As she slipped into Raven's room, she made absolute sure not to make a noise. And then a problem occurred: she realized she didn't remember where exactly she picked up the book from! If she didn't return it to the exact place, Raven would surely find out. It would be embarrassing to admit that she not only snuck into her room and invaded her privacy, but avoided sleep altogether, something that Raven specifically advised against. Starfire closely examined Raven's bureau and racked her memory for the positioning of the book. She placed it down softly, tilting her head as if that would change her perception of things. Beside the book, she saw an antique hand mirror. As she glanced down at it, she swore she could have seen a face other than her own. She looked again and it was gone. Genuinely curious and somewhat frightened, she picked up the mirror and looked closely in it to examine it for what she thought she saw.

The mirror opened like a portal and Starfire couldn't resist the vacuum of energy pulling her in. The last thing Starfire saw was her own indistinct reflection.

tbc.