Awaking to the morning's rising sun and singing birds, flashes of her last encounter with the devil down the hall ran through her mind. Instantly she felt unclean. Instantly she was jumping into the shower, letting the scolding hot water run down her body as she scrubbed the places where Jim had touched her.
Stepping out of the shower, Clarissa looked at her naked body in the mirror. Her legs were red and raw where she had abrade with the lufa. But that tingle of Jim's finger trailing up her thigh still lingered. His touch was becoming all to familiar and discomforting to her. She took her time getting ready, putting on her clothes she had set out the night before. Looking around Clarissa felt there was something not quite right, something out of place. The skimpy maid uniform had been removed from the floor. She didn't want to think about that he had done with it or what he was doing with it.
Walking into the kitchen, a plate of fresh fruit and a note had been laid out for her.
'Eat well and begin your work.'
Crumbling the note, Clarissa picked a few pieces and added some yogurt to her bowl. She sat down to eat in comfortable silence. She soaked in the peace knowing these moments were few and far between. Once done with her nutritious meal, she headed to the back door. Another note waited for her pinned to the door. She eyes the list categorizing it into groups of completion.
She observed the empty field walking toward the rusty old shed. Finding the objects she required, Clarissa started on her first task. She cleaned the lower level windows of the house. Using the ladder to reach the upper levels, she climbed to the roof to clear the gutters. Wiping the sweat from her brow, Clarissa looked out from her high vantage point.
"Absolutely nothing." She sighed as she saw the endless fields and hills.
Standing on the rooftop, she walked the length of the house looking outward. It was even more secluded than she had originally observed. Thick woods off to the side gave a glimmer of hope that civilization may be on the other side. But there was no way to tell. She was all alone on this prison island surrounded by a sea of grass and fields. She laid sown and closed her eyes as she let her skin soak up the sun.
"Okay day twenty. What do you got for me this time?" Clarissa quickly, but carefully, climbed down thinking it a bad idea for such an accident pron person to stay at such a height especially without shoes.
Trading the supplies in the shed for new ones, she continued with her day sweeping the front and back footsteps, pounding out the house mats and repainting the chipped and cracked food frames. She loved the smell of fresh paint as she worked. An awkward little quirk some would say. But she didn't care. It was relaxing to her as the smell of burning firewood. She probably gave the door a few more coats than it truly needed.
Finishing with the house, the sun was at its highest point in the sky so she estimated it to be about noon. Walking back into the kitchen to wash the paint from her hands, Clarissa found a tray of lemonade, a sandwich, and another note.
"Lunch" was all it said. She filled her stomach went back to work.
The last thing on her list was mow the grass. She had put this task on the bottom because One: she wasn't sure how far she was suppose to go, Two: since she didn't know how far, it was going to take forever, and Three: this particular job was going to suck the most without any footwear. There was no telling what could be hiding in that tall grass. Snakes, spiders, ticks, or sharp rocks and with her luck she would step step on every single one of them.
Clarissa only shrugged off the complaints and walked back to the shed to fetch the lawn mower. She put her hands on her hips and stared down at the dusty old mower. At least it was gas power instead of push like she expected. She pulled it out. That just would have been another little pain Jim had planned for her. She stared at the mower and back up at the land. She wasn't even sure where to start.
"Might as well go forward." She groaned as she pulled the cord bringing the machine to life.
She pushed forward marching straight ahead. She walked a good five minutes before considering turning around. "No, I won't give him another excuse to harass me for an incomplete job." She continued for another few minutes, about to give up all hope, before seeing a pole sticking out of the ground.
'A landmarker' She concluded.
It was all she had to go on. Reaching the pole she turned left to see more of the same markers evenly spaced running down the yard.
'Good as any place to stop.' She thought. Heading back the way she came cutting another strip down the land.
The polls, marking off her journey, circled around a massive area that was only a small portion of his property. It took several hours and just as many tank refills to cut every inch of land. But Clarissa didn't mind it. Even without shoes, it was a tranquil travel to her. Honestly she loved being barefoot. The feeling the ground beneath her toes took her back to simpler times. It reminded her of the walks she would take on her way home. It was quiet there, where she didn't have to be on guard every second of the day. Clarissa's thoughts never trailed to her abandoned house or the shops and bistros she would frequent. None of these places were her true home. They were not where her heart sought out. She could never understand why she stayed in the city. Why she didn't follow her heart out to the wilderness. But that was not what her new parents wanted for her. No, there was an image to uphold and proper ladies didn't live like wild animals.
Screw that. After this is all said and done things were going to change. She was going drop everything and leave it all behind where it belongs. She would find a quaint little cabin in the middle of nowhere and live her life the way she wanted. No expectations to live up to and no one would tell her what to do.
'That's it.' she thought to herself. ''Make plans, build a future because you will live through this. You will live through this and be the person you want to be.'
With a new vigor in her step and a lightness in her heart, Clarissa continued to push forward.
When she was done with the yard Clarissa put everything back to the shed and headed to the house. Reaching the door she looked down. Her legs and feet were covered in grass and dirt.
"Don't wanna track in" Clarissa rolled her eyes. "and have to clean it up again."
Remembering seeing a hose near the barn she turned on her heels and headed in that general direction. Finding it exactly where she imagined it, Clarissa used the hose to wash away the tension in her muscles as the dirty slid off her skin. She lifted the hose to let the water pour over her entire body to cool down for the moment. She imagined bathing in a waterfall as she let the cold water fill her mouth.
Pulling herself from her fabricated reality as she glanced over at the barn. "I should go back to the house. He's probably waiting for me." She snickered as she dropped the hose and walk over to the barn. "He can wait a little longer."
Clarissa walked in and was instantly greeted by an aggressive snorted by an annoyed Zero.
"Happy to see you too, buddy" She walked up to the black stallion's gate and attempted to pet him. Zero only jerked away from her hand. "You don't really like me that much, do ya?" The horse only stared at her. "Not a real people person." She propped her head on the gate and tilted her head to the side to better observe the animal.
"What are you doing in here?" Clarissa spun around in shock to see Jim in Tyger Lily's stall across the hall. The mare was gently nibbling at his shoulder as he stroked her neck.
"Oh I was just... I finished my chores and I... What are you doing?" She was perplexed to see this monster of a man being so humane with such a docile creature.
"Cleaning their hoofs. I told you these horses are mine and I take care of them." He walked out of the stall and placed the tools in their proper place.
"Oh" Clarissa slowly took a step back trying to sneak out while Jim's back was turned.
"Open that gate and follow me." He instructed while releasing Tyger Lily and guided her to the back exit of the barn.
Clarissa, without protest, did as she was told and walked back up to Zero's gate. "Okay boy." She tried to reason with the stubborn stallion. "Let's take this nice and easy."Zero backed away as she stepped into the stall. "We both know that needs to happen here." Clarissa reached up to grab his nose band. In a flash, rears up his front legs and sprints pass the scared girl, knocking her to the ground, and down the back of the barn.
Still in shock, Clarissa jumps to her feet to chase after the wild animal. She halts to a stop at the spectacle in front of her. Zero was pacing back and forth in aggravation as Jim, with his hands out, blocked the horse from its goal. Tyger Lily, behind Jim, calmly waiting. Even with all the commotion going on the mare never moved, never frightened. Clarissa looks back at the wide open front entrance behind her.
'Why didn't he go this way?' She pondered. "It was the closest and there were no obstacle."
"Stop daydreaming and get over here." Jim yelled bringing Clarissa back into focus.
She crept up behind the animal. But Zero paid her no mind. The horse never even glanced back at her. No, it was determined to go out that particular way. Noticing this, Clarissa smoothly walked up to the horse signaling Jim to follow her lead on the other side. She kept in the stallion's eye sight as he watched the both of them step closer. Jim gave out a few quick whistles to distract the animal.
"Stop that" She snapped at Jim in her most soothing voice. "Don't insult his intelligence." She turned her attention back to the irritated stallion. "I can see what your after." She lifted her hands as Zero focused his attention on her. "I'm here to help." Clarissa took a step closer. "Let me help."
Zero stomped his hoof and bobbed head in response. She read these actions as a warning. 'Don't try anything funny.' She reached up placing her hand on the side of his cheek near the band waiting for a reaction. Zero's demeanor changed. He relaxed as Clarissa lifter her free hand and surprisingly allowed her to pet the side of his neck. Clarissa gently guided him to the back exit pass Jim and towards Tyger Lily as the four of them walked out of the barn.
Jim herded them into a large gated area and set the horses free. Clarissa sat on the gate as she watched the horses run side by side around the inside. Jim stood in the middle clapping and shouting, calling at them to run faster and keep going. After a while the horses slowed down to a steady trot as Jim walked up to Clarissa.
"I exercise them daily in here." He explained.
"Why don't you ride them?"
"I do when I have time. But as you see there are two of them and one of me."
Both watched in silence as the hoses ran around and played. Clarissa wasn't sure how much time had passed as she kept her eyes on the beautiful beasts. Out here it was like they didn't have a care in the world. They were so happy. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else even existed.
"Why do you keep them?" The question slipped out of her mouth before she had thought them through.
"Because they are mine." Jim kept his gaze on the horses.
"But you could sell them"
"I keep what's mine." He stated with no emotion.
"But think of all the work you have to put into keeping them. Wouldn't it be time better spent doing something...more... productive."
Jim only stood there in silence contemplating her words. He looked out as the horses played together. She had a point. He couldn't argue her logic and it had crossed his mind before. But he could never give them up.
Jim stepped out of the cage and walked away. "Come on. We have work to do."
"But I"
"MOVE IT"
Clarissa followed him back to the barn. He picked up a couple of pitchforks and pointed to a wheel barrel.
"Bring that over here." Clarissa followed his command.
She was handed a pitchfork and, without orders, started cleaning the hay from the stall. They worked in opposite stalls making quick work of the mess. Once the stalls were clear Clarissa picked up the wheel barrel and followed Jim to the stacks of fresh hay. Jim picked up a couple stacks and walked back inside. Huffing in annoyance, Clarissa grabbed a couple of stacks to carry. She broke the cord and started spreading the hay around the stall.
"Can I ask you something"
"Not like I can stop you." Clarissa had her back turn to the gate as she worked.
"Why did you kiss me the other day?"
"What?" Clarissa's body because rigid as she tried to act unaffected.
"A few days ago, in here, you kissed me."
Clarissa kept her head down. "Get your facts straight. YOU kissed ME."
"And you reciprocated."
"In your dreams." She spat.
Inches away from her hand Jim's pitchfork stabbed the hay.
"DON"T LIE" The scream cause Clarissa to spin around to face the man in the opposite stall. Jim was standing straight as his eyes pierced her soul. "I felt it. Yooouuu" He pointed at her. "You ran your fingers through my hair. Your thighs squeezed me tightly. Your lips"
"A laps in judgment." Clarissa quickly cut him off not wanting to hear the rest. She took hold of the pitchfork using it to spread the hay. "You got me at a weak point. It won't happen again."
"The things you told me." His voice because soft.
"Were none of your business so stay out of mine."
"Then why tell me?"
"It was a mistake. I thought...for just a second I thought. It doesn't matter and it won't happen again. Drop. It."
"Does my presence repel you this much?"
"Well lets see." Clarissa dropped the pitchfork and walked to the edge of the stall holding on to the poll to lean out. "You stalked me, drugged me, kidnapped me, threatened me, and tortured me all in the name of 'love'. Did I leave anything out?" Jim shrugged in response. "So yes I can honestly say I Hate You with every fiber in my body."
"There are qualities about me that people tend to enjoy" Jim playfully smirked.
"That has remained to me seen." She laughed at the idea. Clarissa turned back to her work.
"I'm not all bad."
"Prove it. I have yet to see something, anything to contradict the facts." She worked in silencs thinking the conversation was finally over.
"What made your heart so cold?"
"I could ask you the same question." 'But why does it matter how the monster got it's claws?' She questioned herself.
Jim had walked up behind her placing his hand on his shoulder. "Please."
Clarissa shuddered at the soft tone in his voice. She already knew from past experiences that he wouldn't stop until he got what he wanted. What else could she do?
"When My parents died I shut myself off. I stopped caring about everything around me. It... it was easier to feel nothing." She pushed Jim's hand off of her. "Better than the alternative."
"Understandable for the situation." Jim approached the information logically. "But the new new life you started. The one with your wealthy, high society, loving adoptive parents. It was a fresh start."
"Those people only took me in because I was was shut off from the world." She hissed. "They only adopted me to fill the required illusion of a happy, proper, high society family. A quiet child with no complaint or emotions. I was the perfect child. The perfect accessory to their household. They never gave a damn about me or the things I was going through. Not even around enough for me to try to get to know them. Always off to some charity event or socialite party. I " She took a deep breath. "I was left to spend days alone in an empty house." She spun to face Jim, eyes blank of any emotion. "Is that enough of an explanation for you."
Jim put his hands up in an act of surrender. She shoved Jim out of the way as she stormed out of the barn. He later found her sitting on the fence watching the horses gallop around. He strolled up behind her.
"Sorry if our discussion upset you."
"Then stop upsetting me." She didn't understand why he had to pry. Why did he insist on forcing her to talk about things better left in the past. None of it mattered.
Jim's whistle broke Clarissa from her thoughts as Tyger Lily trotted up to them with Zero on her heels. Clarissa took Zero in first, locking the gate behind him. As soon as the door was shut the black stallion started stomping around neighing in frustration.
"Sorry sir, warden says one hour of yard time and it's back to the stall." She joked giving the horse no comfort. "Please settle down before you have him" Clarissa shut her mouth as Jim and Tyger Lily came into view. At that exact time Zero fell silent as they both watch Jim gently guide the mare into her stall.
"Let's go." He called out as he left the barn. She quickened her step to walk side by side Jim.
"How often do you ride?" She asked softly. She honestly couldn't imagine the man walking next to her on one of those graceful animals.
"Once a week."
"Oh. which one?"
"Tyger Lily mostly"
"Because the male is so head strong?" She asked already knowing the answer.
"Because I prefer Tyger Lily and she seems to enjoy my company."
Clarissa couldn't see that horse hating anyone. But to enjoy his company seemed a little far fetch. "But you whip her."
"On god no. I could never lay a finger against her. Tyger Lily's a gentle spirit. I learned early on she meets kindness with kindness."
LIAR "Then why did you threaten her last time?"
"I over reacted." He stated.
"I'll say. What about the other?"
"Zero? He's a hard shell to crack. I never could get a tight hold on him."
"Oh"
"So what's for dinner?" Jim was quick to change the subject.
"I'm not your cook, or your maid, or servant. Cook your own damn food."
"I don't cook"
"Learn too." Clarissa sped up in front of Jim. Once inside she headed for the stairs.
"Where do you think you're going."
"To my room."
"So now it's your room?"
"I did the chores. I earned my keep. Technically that prison up there is my room."
"But what about your offer?"
"What offer?"
"To teach me to cook. You said I should learn. What better way to learn than to have you teach me."
"You have got to be kidding me."
"This is no joking matter. Would you rather I starve?" He gave her his most pathetic puppy dog face.
"Honestly?" Clarissa reconsidered her answer. Easier to comply than suffer the consequence. Besides she was to tired to fight. It was a simple enough request.
She headed to the kitchen with Jim excitedly on her heels. Opening the fridge, Clarissa weighed her options. A couple of steaks were thawed out and ready to go.
"Wash your hands." she ordered as she did the same. "First we prep the meat." She took out a few spices adding them generously to both sides.
"While that sets you get all the items out and ready to use." She glided around the kitchen to wash her hands and started setting out the skillet, cooking utensil, plates, and foil.
She turned on the stove and looked over her shoulder at Jim, who was poking at the meat with his finger. "Don't do that." Jim Put both hands behind his back and smiled. "Now we heat the skillet letting it get good and ho. You want to sear in all that flavor. Never put steak in a cold pan. Got it?" Jim nodded in compliance.
She brought the plate of meat to the stove. Picking up a piece by its corner she let it hover over the skillet. "Once everything is in perfect condition we add the meat." She looked over at Jim. His neck was stretched out as he tried to watch from his position.
"Come over here next to me. I'm only showing you this once." He took a few steps over to Clarissa's side to observe her technique. "Now grab one and copy me."
She placed the steak into the skillet that immediately started to sizzle. Jim followed her actions.
"Wash your hands again. We need to keep our hands clean." Both quickly washed their hands and stood back at the stove. "Seer both sides and turn down the heat."
"When do we flip it?" Jim asked eagerly, spatula in hand about to scoop up the steak.
Clarissa smacked his hand. "You have to be patient. Everything has been put into place. Just step back and let all our planning run its course."
After a few minutes on each side she removed the food from the heat. She placed the steak on a place and wrapped it on tin foil. "Now let it rest."
"Why?" he asked with curiosity.
"It lets everything settle. If we sliced it open now all the delicious juices, we worked so hard to create, will spill out and you would end up enjoying a bland piece of meat. But if your bored we could get a side project going."
"Side project?"
"Yeah ya know. Corn, potatoes, green beans. Something to complement the meal." Clarissa took some fresh asparagus from the fridge and threw it in the warm skillet.
Both sat at the kitchen table to eat their meals.
"Mmm Mmmm" Jim cooed in delight. "This is good." Clarissa glanced up at him momentarily before looking back down at her meal. "You know you and I are not so different."
Clarissa coughed up the piece of food she had recently been chewing. "Come again?" She chuckled. "What makes you say that?"
"Hold on now, I'm being serious." Clarissa only stared at him blankly. "The way you move in the kitchen. The planning and prepwork. Knowing when to make the right move and letting things take the course you had set out. It's exactly how I plan a job. Same outcome and everything." He popped a stock of asparagus into his mouth.
"My meals don't end in death."
"Not all mine do either. I help people too."
"You only help for your own gain."
"And so do you." Jim quickly responded. "You take satisfaction at the enjoyment someone takes from your delicious meals. See my point." Clarissa only rolled her eyes. "You see it. You might not want to admit it. But you know it to be true."
Clarissa stood taking both plates away and to the sink. She cleaned, dried and put everything away.
"You even leave no trace that you were ever there. Just like me." He whispered in her ear.
Clarissa spun around finding herself pinned between the sink and Jim. "Word from a desperate man."
She slipped pass him and he allowed it. "Going to bed so soon?" she waved him off. "Can I join you?"
"In you dreams." She walked away. Jim followed close behind.
"Are you sure? You might liiike it." he asked in s sing song voice. "We could cuddle. Or we could do other things if you prefer."
"No thank you." She took the steps two at a time to get some distance.
"Fine. I'm not going to push the issue tonight." He caught up to her and leaned against her door. "We have a big day tomorrow and you'll need your beauty sleep. Give daddy some sugar."
Clarissa tilted her head back and grunted. Having to touch him willingly was the most difficult thing he puts her through. At least she had a fighting chance when he forced himself on her.
"Come on one little kiss and off you pop."
She took a deep breath and leaned in aiming for his cheek. But he quickly maneuvered to line up their lips. After a brief second Clarissa pulled away and twisted the door knob. But Jim stepped in front of her objective.
"That was no good. Do it again. Do it like you did in the barn." He pulled her in close.
"I told you that was a mistake."
"Do it again and make me believe it." He slid his finger down her cheek. "If you don't we cuddle for the night."
"I can't." Her voice unintentionally quivered.
"Yes you can. Just close your eyes and think back." Clarissa shut her eyes tight. "Here I'll start."
He gently placed her wrist on his shoulders. Nudging them with his chin she moved them to his hair. She twirled a strand around her finger. Taking a deep breath Clarissa took a step towards him. He rubbed his nose against her forehead. Her skin tingled under his hot breath. She felt vulnerable and exposed under his gaze. Lifting her chin up she slowly moved to meet his lips.
'It's just a kiss' She tried to tell herself. 'Just a kiss.'
She pushed her lips roughly against his. But in a strange twist, Jim only stood there. He didn't move as Clarissa sucked on his lip trying to gain access. She yanked his hair bringing him down to his knees. Forcing his head up her lips crashed onto him. A light moan came from his throat but his mouth remained close. In a fit of frustration, she bit hard on his bottom lip causing Jim to gasp.
'This is what you want' She screamed at Jim inside her head.
She straddled his lap as she pushed her tongue pass his lips. He pulled her in close to feel her chest rise up and down against her. His hand slowly crept up her back and rested on her neck. Her pulse was racing. Jim smiled against her lip. His tongue uprooted from its dormant state as he battled with hers for dominance.
She relaxed under his touch as he ran his fingers down her back. Her tongue ran over every part of his mouth as he explores hers in turn. She growled in his mouth as the kissed raged on. Forgetting who she was kissing she let the passion wash over her. Coming up for air, Clarissa slowly pulled back. Both were panting as they stared at each other.
"Sure you don't want company?" He smiled up at her. "It's your choice."
She pushed herself up and stared down at the man on his knees. "Good night."
Clarissa walked into her room and shut the door leaving the man on his knees. Laying in bed alone the air felt colder. She closed her eyes to wash away the images of the day. 'Insanity' She thought to herself quoting Einstein. 'doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Good bye day twenty.'