He was the first one to pull away. We sat there for a few minutes, just looking at each other, no expressions except feeling a little spontaneous. I wanted more, I wanted to tell him everything, I wanted him to know everything, everything about me. But I couldn't tell him. And he understood that.
He was the first one to leave. He left me there, sitting, alone. It wasn't until he left that I felt the blush start to rise up my cheeks. Once I had finally grasped what had happened, panic started to set in. Was it good? Was it not? And a fading but prominent thought,
Did he feel the spark too?
I wanted him to. But too many factors stood in the way, and a part of my mind didn't trust him. Which was silly, I know. I couldn't help myself. But by falling in love, I was entrusting myself to reveal all my secrets to some handsome smirking boy that popped up in my school and is the brother of my school's principal, and my next door neighbor.
I'm laughing now. It's like every cliché book written. A girl, an average girl, falls in love with the hunk next door.
Could I trust him with my biggest secret?
"Hey," Zach said, knocking on the door lightly as he stepped in. He was still blushing, much like I was. "I want to show you something."
The start screen on his laptop glowed, and he opened up a video on YouTube. "I didn't know you listened to Avril Lavigne," I murmured. He smiled a little. "I don't. But someone showed me this video a while ago." I sat next to him, and squished against him on the chair.
Darlin', you're hidin' in the closet once again
Start smilin', I know you're tryin' real hard
Not to turn your head away, pretty darlin'
Face tomorrow, tomorrow's not yesterday, yesterday
Pretty please, I know it's a drag
Wipe your eyes and put up your head
I wish you could be happy instead
There's nothing else I can do
But love you the best that I can
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Darlin', I was there once a while ago
I know that it's hard to be stuck
With people that you love
When nobody trusts
Pretty please, I know it's a drag
Wipe your eyes and put up your head
I wish you could be happy instead
There's nothing else I can do
But love you the best that I can
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that I can
And you're not the only one whose been through
I've been there alone and now so are you
I just want you to know, want you to know
It's not your fault, it's not your fault
Your fault, your fault
It's not your fault, your fault
Your fault, your fault
Pretty please, I know it's a drag
Wipe your eyes and put up your head
I wish you could be happy instead
There's nothing else I can do
But love you the best that I can
Pretty please, I know it's a drag
Wipe your eyes and put up your head
I wish you could be happy instead
There's nothing else I can do
But love you the best that I can, that I can
Darlin', you're hidin' in the closet once again
Start smilin'
He turned to look at me, and I felt a tear slip down my cheek. "Zach..." He shook his head, and pulled me to him, hugging me, eventually moved from his desk chair to his bed, and still enveloped me in his arms. "It's okay, Gallagher Girl." He smoothed my hair, held my wet cheek against his. "It's okay," he said again.
I stayed with him, didn't want to leave him. I felt safe with him, I felt at home with him. I could feel an emotion with him that I could never describe, one that may not even exist but I felt existed because I felt it. I could tell Zach felt it too. And I could sense he had scars, too. Scars that allowed him to empathize. Because to me, empathy is more powerful than love.
Because love is a connection to only few, while empathy is a connection to only one person or to a billion others. Empathy is a power. It's a power I feel when I go online and find posts on my stream that I can relate to. That small feeling of joy I get when someone says the exact same thing I was thinking or had experienced, like all the teenager posts on tumblr.
So I decided to trust him. But I wouldn't tell him all my secrets yet. I was still set on him having to find out for himself.
Because again, only those who can empathize can find out my deepest and darkest secrets and handle them the way I want them to.
I wanted him to find out-
But I also wanted him to never have to. I didn't want him to help me. I didn't want him to feel like he had to help me sort this out and treat me any differently than he did.
Sorry for that short chapter. I need to put a time skip in, I have a few ideas I plan to put into motion, so I had to make a short filler chapter. And I have school starting soon, so I'm going to be busy! :/ school... I have really big news too. I don't know if you guys know, but I'm in journalism. So recently I started writing for a newspaper. And the article I wrote for them is going to be their feature cover article! YAY! Anyways, song is Darlin' by Avril Lavigne, shout out to Sunniva Steiner for that (I didn't forget about that review!), lyrics are from .
Shout outs to HiItsMe (Guest), Believe514, We-All-Change (review posted as a Guest), SummerTime15, Sunniva Steiner (Guest), Liela54352, Artemis the Artcher, and Polishdillpicklesandzammie!