Tangled in this Love
AN: I hope that you like it. This chapter is in Sunshine's POV. She'll be getting close to Caleb very soon.
Emotions
Sunshine's POV
I inhaled deeply and counted to three. This was my way of calming my anxiety and let the calmness flow through my veins. I'd waited so long for this opportunity and I was finally living it. I had to do my best. If I played the violin properly, I would be considered for the scholarship to enter a prestigious music school in Seattle.
"Don't be so nervous," Jordan said, when he entered the room next to the auditorium. "You'll do fine."
"Jordan!" I said contently, placing my violin on the table. "What are you doing here?" I asked confused, running to him. He opened his arms and gave me a big bear hug and rocked me. "I thought that your parents wouldn't let you come."
"They didn't," he chuckled. "I asked Caleigh to pick me up. They think that I'm staying the weekend with some friends. Your Mom invited me to stay with you guys for the weekend." He said, slowly pulling me away.
"That's nice," I said, stepping away from him. "I know that Adam is going to have a blast with you."
"He's going to teach me how to play that new video game." He shrugged.
"Nice, listen, Jor, I have to warm up for the audition." I said, pushing him towards the door he'd just came in from.
"Are you kicking me out?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. I nodded and smiled. He smiled back, causing my heart to sink inside my chest with sadness. Jordan Call had many features that reminded me of his brother.
"I'll be rooting for you out there," he said, walking backwards towards the door. He waved at me and flashed me a toothy green. "Break a leg!"
I waved at him and watched him walked out of the room, leaving me to my thoughts. It'd been seven months since I've seen Caleb. He came to my house, begging my father to speak to me. I didn't want to accept it, but Caleigh had urged me to go downstairs to speak to him. She told me that I needed to pursue my happiness and that's exactly what I did. I followed my heart and it led me to this moment. I walked back to my violin and stared down at it. In the open violin case, I saw the business card that Caleb had given me a few months ago. I sat on the chair and skimmed through the flimsy paper.
"Caleb," I whispered sadly, as I tasted the saltiness of my tears, as they slid down my face. I closed my eyes and for the first time in seven months, thought of the last time that I saw him.
"Here," he'd said, as he pulled a wrinkled paper out of his jacket's pocket.
"What is this?" I asked, knitting my eyebrows together, staring questioningly at him, as I took the paper out of his hand.
"It's probably something stupid," Dad spat irritated, from where he stood, near the hall that led to the kitchen.
"Dad, please," Caleigh grunted. "This is important. Read it, Sunshine." She said, crossing her arms over her chest and stared attentively at me.
I looked around the living room and noticed my mother's urging nod. I slowly unwrinkled the paper and looked at Caleb's face. He looked distraught and I knew that this paper would dictate our lives. With trembling hands I held the paper closer to my face and read.
"I don't understand what this means," I said, shaking my head, as I handed my mother the paper. "Mom, can you tell me." I said nervously.
Mom nodded and without speaking, took the paper from my hands and read it. "It means that Marissa isn't pregnant." She said, offering me a smile.
I nodded and took the paper back. I looked at it and sighed in relieve, but tears were falling down my face. It had been the longest day in my life. I waited an entire day for the news of Marissa's predicament and now that I knew the answer, I didn't know if I was happy or sad.
"So she isn't pregnant," Dad sneered. "What makes you so sure that my daughter will take you back?" he asked Caleb.
"Sir," Caleb paused, shoving his hands in his pocket and staring at the floor. "I care for your daughter,"
"If you care for her," Dad paused, striding over to where Mom and I stood. Caleigh moved away and stood near Caleb, placing a caring hand on his arm. He looked at her and smiled kindly. "Why don't you let her be. She doesn't need all this adult drama in her life. She's only fifteen years old. She's still a child. She has a life before her and she doesn't need you to ruin it for her. Shit! You've been in her life less than three days and you've caused major problems."
"Dad," I said sadly. "Don't talk to him-"
"I'm not going to sit back and watch this idiot destroy your life," He said angrily.
"Sir, I understand. I know that I've caused major trouble in your daughter's life, but I'm willing to make amends for all the trouble I've caused. I want to rectify my mistakes. I just ask that I be given a second chance. I love her. I can't stay away from her anymore. I'm willing to fight for her." He said honestly, as his gray eyes searched mine. "I'm willing to do anything that you ask, Sunny. If you want me in your life…"
"I don't want you in my life," I lied, taking a step back. "I can't trust my heart to you. You've broken it. My Dad is right." I said dejectedly.
"Sunshine," Caleigh said alarmed. "Don't make this mistake. You are going to regret it down the road."
"No, Caleigh," I paused, brushing a tear away with the heel of my hand. "Dad is right. I need to think about my heart. He left me before and didn't fight for me. I can do the same. I can live without him. I know that I can,"
"I promise you, Sunshine, that it will hurt more," he said, placing his hand on his chest. "Is this what you truly want? I won't bother you anymore, if this is what you want." He said despondently. "I won't bother you again, as long as this is what you want."
I looked at my Mom and she was shaking her head in disapproval. "It'll hurt," she whispered sadly.
"Yes, this is what I want." I lied and ran upstairs to my room.
It was hard living without him. I was the one that made the decision of pushing him away. He came back the following night and missed his plane back to Chicago. He'd begged me to let him stay beside him, but how could I? I was hurting. My pride was greater than my will to forgive him. It was something that I'd inherited from my mother. She was stubborn and so was I.
Marissa wasn't expecting his child. He was willing to fight for me, but I rejected him. I turned him down and walked out of his life. I thought about how my life would be without him, but I had to try living, even if thinking of him hurt. Even if I would never know the joys of being with my imprinter.
I was doing the right thing. I had to erase the events of that weekend when I first saw him. I had to, for my sake and the sake of my future. I had to be selfish and think of my happiness. I was going to live my life. He'd done it before. It mustn't be so hard, I guess. But I was wrong. It was the hardest thing in the world. I thought of him nonstop, but I held my feelings inside. I didn't cry for him. He had a life and soon, if my calculations were correct, I would start my junior year in another city.
"Are you ready?" Katie Stone asked me, when she came to the room I was.
"A little nervous," I confessed. "I don't like being in front of people."
"You'll do fine. You are a pro at the violin. Plus," she chuckled, placing her violoncello in its case. "You submerge yourself in your own little world when you are playing." She smiled.
"Thanks, Kate," I smiled. "I wish you the best of luck."
"I'm not that interested in going to that musical school in Seattle." She shrugged and locked the case. "I'm just doing it to please my parents." She confided.
"I see," I whispered.
I was nervous; playing in front of more than a hundred people was terrifying. I didn't like being the center of attention, but this was different. Violin had been a hobby of mine, but after losing the better half of my heart, it became my passion and calling. I became alive whenever I held the instrument in my hands and played it. I don't know what motivated me to pay attention to my parents when they suggested that I learn to play the violin, but it was the best decision I've ever made. It became my solace in the nights when I couldn't sleep, because Caleb's face followed me. I mean, the violin was fun; it taught me values and how to manage my time. It filled my lonely time with notes that made every sacrifice worth it. The nostalgic feeling that it evoked in me whenever I played, were beyond words. It made me feel elated, because the wistful notes that poured as I played it, transported me to a place that I only knew. I could imagine my future life, without feeling condemned to this heartache that would forever follow me. The intricate notes overwhelmed me. They spoke my heart's true feelings and resonated the desperate cries of my aching lonely soul, as it tried to find sense of my life. Through my playing, I was reaching the many lonely souls that were out there in need of hope and in search of their own path.
"Sunny," Katie said, patting my shoulder. "They called your name." she said, signaling at the door. "It's your turn to play. Break a leg!" she said, clapping contently.
"Yeah, I guess it's my turn." I said, smiling wearily, as I trudged out the door and turned to look back. Katie was there encouraging me to continue. I sighed sadly and imagined that it was Caleb's face the one that I saw giving me the strength I needed.
I sighed miserably and clutched the violin tightly against my chest, as I walked up the podium and heard the muffled noises that came from the crowd.
"Go, Sunshine! You can do it!" My brother Adam shouted from the crowd.
Suddenly there were loud applauses coming from the back of the room. "You are the best!" Jordan screamed loudly.
I could hear the people on the front shuffling in their seats. I blinked nervously, biting the inside of my cheeks, when the bright lights dim and the music director pointed at me. This was my time; my entire life depended on this moment. I had given up on love, but not on my love for music. I was competing for the most acclaimed spot that was being offered by the most prestigious School of Music in Washington. Out of twenty violinists, only three had the fortune to be considered for those desired spots. If I was accepted, I would be moving to Seattle the following fall to start on my career as a violinist.
This was a stepping stone for my ambitious goal to enter Julliard and continue with my life. I didn't want to admit it, but this was what I wanted. At first, I participated to make my father happy. He loved it when I played the violin and even though, he didn't like Caleb that much. I loved him and did anything to make him happy. But as time progressed, I began to find joy in my music. It became my salvation. This became my passion and I looked forward to pursuing my dreams.
"Sunny, start playing" Satyer Hasid, my music instructor, mouthed.
I nodded, placing my chin on the chinrest of the violin. I brought the bow close to the strings and when the music instructor began to play the notes on the piano for my accompaniment, I immediately began to play Vivaldi's The Four Seasons- Winter Allegro Non Molto. I don't know how I managed to gather the strength to play in front of the crowd. I knew that I had to. I had to let my soul speak its sadness. I closed my eyes and ignored the faces that stared at me. I was captivated by the music. It was like I became someone else and my timid self disappeared, giving way to a more assertive me. I played, forgetting the crowd, Caleb, and the fear that seemed to nestle in my heart whenever I stood in front of an audience. I finished playing, and received a standing ovation from the crowd. My family and Jordan were sitting on the back, yelling and shouting my name, causing me to smiled coyly and walked down the podium. After an hour, the recital was done and Mr. Hasid told us that the judges will be presenting their decision on the following Friday. I sighed and walked back to the room where I'd left my violin case and prepared to leave. I took my time, because I didn't want to go home. It was still daylight when I stepped out of the building and saw my family smiling proudly at me.
"Mom!" I said, running towards her. "Did you like it?"
"Baby," Mom said, ambling towards me, when she saw me exit the school's auditorium. My sister Caleigh, my brother Byron Adam and Jordan Call were standing beside her. Dad had a bouquet of pink roses in his hands and immediately handed them to me. "Wow! You were the best out there. You played wonderfully." She said proudly, kissing my cheek. "I wouldn't be surprised if you get a spot on that snooty prestigious music school you want to go." She said assured.
"Thanks, Mom." I whispered, clutching at the flowers with one hand and the other holding my violin case. "Can we go home? I have to blog about my recital."
"Serious? You blog? Since when?" Caleigh asked, frowning. "Who reads your boring blogs, anyway?" Caleigh said teasingly.
"I do," Adam said, leaning down to kiss my forehead. "I'm her number one fan."
"I do too," Jordan chimed in, walking over to me to give me a hug. "You were great."
"Thanks," I smiled, giving him a half hug. "Caleigh, these two dumb-dumbs are always responding to my blog!" I said, smiling at my brother. "They are probably the only ones." I laughed.
We walked in comfortable silence, toward the car, when Mom shoved Dad, causing him to stop dead on his tracks. "What was that for, Leah?" he chuckled, shaking his head.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" she said, staring suspiciously at him.
"No,"
"Benedict Brooks," Mom said irritated, placing her hand on her hip. "You know what I'm talking about!"
"What are these two fussing about now," Jordan whispered next to my ear. I shrugged and glanced at my parents, giving each other cues.
"Oh, that," Dad finally said and shoved his hand in his pocket. "Are you sure it's safe to do this?"
"Benny, stop being such a dumbass," she chortled and went over to him and kissed the tip of his nose. "She deserves it. She's worked hard on her school. She is going to need it. You and I both know that she's going to get accepted to that school in Seattle."
"Leah," Dad whined, wrapping his large arms around my mother's small waist. "She's still our little girl."
"She will always be our little girl," Mom reassured him. "Now, give her the keys."
"What keys?" Jordan, Byron Adam and I asked simultaneously.
Caleigh chuckled and walked around our parents and took the keys out of my Dad's hand. "Sunny, Mom and Dad bought you a car." She said nonchalantly, throwing the keys at me. Jordan caught them, since I was holding the violin case and the flowers that Dad had given me earlier.
"Keys? A car?" I asked baffled.
"Yeah, duh," Caleigh teased. "You took the driving license test and passed it, right?" she asked. I nodded. "You have a driver's license, right?" I nodded again and smiled, looking at Jordan's hand.
"I have a car?" I shrieked happily,.
Mom and Dad nodded proudly and gestured me to follow them. "That's your car!" Mom said excitedly, as she placed her hand on a brand new metallic blue Toyota Camry sedan. "You chose it that day that we stopped near the car dealership, remember?"
I nodded, unable to articulate any words. "Well, it's yours. You deserve it. You have proven yourself and we trust you. If you get accepted at the snooty school, you can come every weekend to visit us." She said, a tear strolling down her face. "I'm sorry. I'm just so emotional today." She laughed.
"Mom," Adam said, hugging her. "Do I get a car next year?" he asked jestingly.
Dad swatted his arm and chuckled. "You can drive the guys around in your new car… but be home before dinner, alright?" he said.
"Hell yeah!" I shrieked loudly, causing Caleigh to cover her ears. I snatched the keys from Jordan's hand and handed him my violin case and the flowers to Byron Adams. I unlocked the car and hopped in the driver's seat. "Are you guys coming?" I said, when I rolled down the windows. Jordan sat in the back and Adam in the passenger seat. "Where are you going Caleigh?"
"Over to La Push! I gotta see Michael," she said sadly. "I haven't seen him in like forever. Be careful. I placed some money for gas in your glove compartment. Take as much as you'll need. Go where your heart will take you, everything will be fine. Trust your heart, Sunshine." She winked and walked away.
"She saw him yesterday," Adam said under his breath. "What's all that babble that she's talking about?"
"I don't know," Jordan shrugged.
"OK, bye," I waved.
Dad walked over to the car and leaned next to the driver's window and cupped my chin with his hand. "Be safe."
"I will. Thanks for the car, Dad." I said, sticking my arms out the window and hugging him. "You are the best."
"I know," he smiled and kissed my forehead before he left.
I placed the key in the ignition and turned on the engine. Adam and Jordan clapped and shouted merrily. I adjusted the mirrors, put on my seatbelt and entered the address to our final destination.
"Where are we going?" Jordan asked excitedly.
"To Chicago," I said, putting the car on reversed and got out of the parking spot and peeled out of the school's parking lot.