Ok I know I said I was going to wait till my fanfic reaches 10th or higher but... screw that I'm posting this now! XD
Thanks to all my old & NEW reviewers! And I don't mind if the reviews are long infact I love them :P
Shout out to Dave-4-Gee who was in fact my 100th reviewer! Yes you read that right... 100! The big 1-0-0 :P XD I am vair vair happy as you can tell!
Yeah you all guessed it was Emma who texted Dave... but what she said isn't that important... its just that she has bad timing :P and bad existance as far as Dave & Gee are concerned :P
I'll let you read now...
"New PANTS of Life"
He shrugged, "I guess I'm not really sure. She's nice and everything, but when we're together it's just a little..."
"Awkward?"
He nodded. "Plus it's not as if you had a choice... you came round from your accident and suddenly you have a girlfriend there all ready and waiting... and well... you may not even want to go out with her but you couldn't really say no so..."
Oh Christ on bike Dave is full on glaring at me. Uh-oh.
Sat around the crappest bonfire known to humanity.
Oh my giddy god Dave has his arm round me!
Ow bloody ow!
Just as I bent my head over Dave's phone went off so he moved his arm to reach it and hit me in the head!!
Update –
Sat on a log in a field of muddy hell
Freezing my nungas off
Dave the Laugh has once again ran away
Monday November 7th
Rom & Jule Rehearsals
3.30pm
I'll give you three guesses as to who's not here.
No two, three is just generous. Well unless you are vair vair dim. But in that case you probably won't get the answer at all.
I'll just tell you because I am that kind.
It's Dave. Quelle suprise. He seems to have a habit of disappearing after I talk to him. Maybe he is actually scared of me. Am I a scary person? (I mean like Libby and Vati scary). Hell's bells that would be merde.
2 minutes later
Rosie and Jas are bounding over to me looking as happy as Angus when he's playing "chase" with my feet.
This can only mean bad news.
30 seconds later
Being stared at by two scarily happy folk.
"Hey Gee!" Jas said and did that really naff thing where you nudge the shoulder. "Guess who's here?"
Blumin' heck she is overflowing with excitement. I should tell her to find a container for her joy. It is just rude to be happy in front of people who are clearly miserable when Laugh's aren't around.
1 second later
Wait a flying Jassy second! Did she just say who's here? Oh my giddy god has Dave arrived!!
"Who?" I said playing along (because I am that nice as to entertain my pallies).
1 second later
"Eric!" Rosie shouted.
I'm sorry what?!
"I think his name is Dave you fools." I said.
Rosie biffed me and said, "No not Dave," bit of eye-brow wiggling, "Eric!"
I frowned, "Who in Jas's gigantibus knickers is Eric?"
Jas tried to go in a huff with me but she can't for long because I can see she is dying to tell me who Eric is. Should I know an Eric?
No, I don't know an Eric.
2 seconds later
Jas flicked her fringe a bit before saying, "Eric is the lad you were dancing with at the Halloween party."
Merde.
"Oh." I said in a wise way, "Well what's he doing here?"
Rosie said, "You foooool he goes to Foxwood doesn't he? How else did you think I knew him?"
I shrugged but fringey said, "She was too busy staring at Dave these past rehearsals to notice anyone else."
I glared at her. Shut up fringey. Although she does have a point...
30 seconds later
"You are going to talk to him mon pally." Rosie said.
I shook my head. "No thanks I'm good right here in my circle of singliosity." I drew an imaginary circle around myself because I am that cool.
Jas frowned, "Come on Georgia you need to start dating, everyone agrees."
"No I don't. And who does what now?!" Who the bleating sheep has been discussing me without me?!
Jas waved her arm around like the fool she is, "It doesn't matter. Me, Rosie, a few other people. The point is you need to move out your... circle of single...ness and find a cute lad to date."
Good point. Well made. Not.
"And what if I like being single?" I said folding my arms.
Rosie said, "I bet you would let Dave into your circle."
10 minutes later
I am being set up with a stranger of the un-laugh kind. It was the only way I could get out of the Dave-circle-fandango situation.
Luckily though (or not) I get to leave early from rehearsals because I have to babysit Libby while Mutti goes out yet again with her "friends" – also known as menopausal sadists. But on the plus side I get out of "chatting" with Eric.
2 seconds later
But then again is it really safe to leave Jas and Rosie, Queen of the Clinically Insane, to sort out my "date" with Eric?
Jas says he's really lush. What in Sandra's beard (and Rosie's for that matter) is lush?
A vair vair sad word for a vair vair sad vole girl that is what.
15 minutes later
Walking home as lonely as a clud. There is no way I am going out with lush boy and that is le fact.
4.30pm
Currently watching Libby play the drums on Mutti's over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders. They are gigantibus to the extreme.
I can't believe I only got 5 squids for this. It is like torture of the cheapest kind.
2 minutes later
Phone is ringing.
I suppose I'd better answer it considering Libby is, well... Libby and therefore incapable of normal human interaction unlike me who is tres sophis and mature.
10 seconds later
"Oh HAIIIII?"
"You! Eric! Wednesday! 7.30pm! Cinema! Be there or be square!"
Oh gott in himmel.
No no I refuse to go.
Not a chance in hell am I going
Wednesday November 9th
7.29pm
Walking to meet lush boy
How did this happen?!
I have become feeble girl who lets her so-called "mates" force her to do stuff.
And its vair nippy noodles.
I wonder if I can claim I got frostbite and run home before Eric sees me.
1 minute later
"Hey Georgia."
Merde.
2 seconds later
"Oh hi erm, Eric."
He smiled. Ok so it's not a horrible smile. In fact it's quite groovy. And his hair is ok, dark and mysterious. But still...
"You alright?"
I said, "Oh yeah, I'm as alrighty as an alrighty thing. Well you know besides the frozen toes and fingers and nungas-"
That was too much information. Ahh well live and let live Eric just looks a tad confused.
1 hour later
In the cinema
Sat at the back
Merde
Does he know these are the snogging seats?
I bet he does because when I said "Let's sit at the front I have eye problems," he just dragged me up the stairs saying, "Don't worry I won't be watching the movie much either."
So either he is vair vair forward (and rather scary) or actually doesn't watch movies. In which case he would listen to them. Which really beats the point of going to the movies in the first place.
2 seconds later
I think it's the forward thing.
But then again we have been in the cinema for a longish time and he hasn't tried to snog me yet.
5 minutes later
Lush boy leaned over (uh-oh) and said, "This movie sucks. You wanna ditch?"
Does by ditch he mean leave the cinema and go have a snog fest?
"Err, well I don't know."
10 minutes later
Walking down some street somewhere. It is tres darky dark out here. I hope Eric knows where he's going because I certainly don't.
"Are you cold?" He asked.
It just doesn't have the same effect as when Dave said it.
I shook my head even though I am nippy noodles to my inner nungas.
Eric took off his jacket anyway and wrapped it round me. Aww that's kind of sweet a guess.
4 minutes later
Lush boy has his arm round me now. I thought about shaking it off but its making me warmer so really if I told him to bugger off that would just be vair vair stupid.
In the park
How did we get here? I can hardly see in front of me never mind follow directions.
Me and Eric are stood under a tree (I think). The moon is shining onto him and I have to admit he looks quite fit. Not in a Sex-God or Luuurve God way and definitely not in a Laugh kind-of way but fit nonetheless.
Oh no, he's leaning over me. He's going to snog me. He's definitely going to snog me.
2 minutes later
Snogging lush boy.
I was right with my first flash of the whatsit when I said Eric was forward. He is beyond forwardness. Didn't even bother for a bit of warmsy-upsy but jumped straight to number 5 on the snogging scale! And this is our first date-type fandango!
30 seconds later
Number 6! I think this boy is trying to eat me alive! He should be called slush boy not lush boy.
1 minute later
I leant back and pushed Eric away slightly.
He frowned and kept his arms wrapped around me, "You ok?"
I nodded, "Err yuppo, just taken by surprise." I said giving a small smile.
Eric laughed and said, "Ok, I'm going to snog you now ok?"
What? Normally I'm not one for romantico crap like Jassy Spassy but this is just scary potatoes.
1 second later
So why am I nodding?
9.15pm
Sat on my wall
Slush boy is walking away down the street. He wanted to wait until I'd gone inside but there is no chance in hell I am letting any member of the Swiss Family Mad see him.
Based on tonight he will probably try and snog Mutti. Ew.
We snogged in the park for quite a while. It was ok, not the best snog of my life. But then again I was concentrating on keeping upright – Eric is rather forceful and kept nearly pushing me over!
I could see us going further up the snogging scale so I told him I had to get home or Mutti would flip.
Which she would. If she even knew I was out in the first place.
5 minutes later
"PANTS!"
Oh my giddy god what in Slim's gigantibus chins was that?!
3 seconds later
Sat on my botty. On the cold ground.
Yes I just fell off the wall.
30 seconds later
Ahhhh Dave is leaning over the wall with a grin on his face! How does he always manage to see me when I'm on the wall?
Or off it in this case.
10 seconds later
Dave held out his hand. "You want a bit of help there?"
I grinned (remembering to suck my nose in of course) and took his hand.
Oh my god it's so nice I think I've just gone jelloid and all Dave's done is pulled me up off the ground!
I must control myself. Think inner yoga. Ommmm.
Ommm... mmmm he is so groovy looking it is untrue.
2 seconds later
I managed to get my brain to link to my mouth (which is actually a bad idea but whatever...) I said, "So you like these walks?"
He nodded still smiling.
"You got some more stuff to think about?" I asked in a nosy-but-it-doesn't-seem-it kind-of way.
Dave grinned (jelloid!) and said, "Actually, I think I've sorted that now. I've got new PANTS to try."
Uh? Why is he smiling so widely? Freaky bananas.
"Dave what have you done?" I asked.
Dave shrugged and jumped up to sit on the wall with me.
"I just made a few... adjustments to my PANTS of life."
"Dave shut up about PANTS what have you done?"
He said, "No can do you see, it's a disorder I got with the crash. PANTS is one with me. I am one with me and my PANTS."
I biffed him. "Liar."
Dave is still grinning. Grrr.
Maybe if do a bit of ignorez-vousing then he will tell me.
3 minutes later
Ignorez-vousing plan is undergo.
But I don't think its working. Dave is just humming to himself.
Hmm I think it's "the hills are alive with the sound of PANTS."
Nevertheless, I shall keep up my acty whatsit and show the amazing patience-ness.
2 seconds later
"Oh just tell me you fool!" I said and biffed him. But maybe a bit too hard as he fell off the wall.
Ahh well I've done it before its only his turn.
3 seconds later
Leaning over the wall to look at Dave. It seems the tables have turned! He who has the last laugh will be a she as it will be me so I will have the last laugh and... yeah you get it.
1 second later
"You need a hand Mr Laughy Man?" I said without thinking.
Dave looked confused but then just shrugged and nodded, "I guess."
I leant out my hand. Dave grabbed and I began to pull him up.
"So," he said, "I broke up with Emma."
1 second later
"OW!"
Oops. I think I just dropped Dave back down on the ground.
Correction – I defiantly dropped Dave back down on the ground.
"Erm, sorry, I erm, slipped?"
Oh thank Sandra Dave is laughing.
"I'll forgive you," he said as I helped him up again, "if you go on date with me."
1 second later
"OW!"
Err yeah, I dropped him again.
10.30pm
In my bed of heaven
Oh my giddy god I have a date with Dave the Laugh and his new PANTS of life!!
Although I don't actually know when the date is...
You see Vati made a surprise appearance at the door shouting, "Georgia get your bloody arse inside this house this instance!"
How caring. Not.
So after that I said toodaloo to Dave (not those words exactly as he would think I am a complete idiot which he should find out on his own) I scampered inside and was in such a good mood I didn't even make a comment about the Portley One's portly tire he calls a stomach.
2 minutes later
I never thought I would say this but I can't wait for Rom & Jule Rehearsals tomorrow!
I am so excited I don't think I will ever sleep again.
3 seconds later
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Thursday November 10th
2.45pm
Blodge
This day is going so slowly when will it end?! I swear I've been sitting in blodge for zonks. Which I probably have.
I got up vair vair early this morning to give me time to prepare my Sex Kittyness. Not that Dave calls me that anymore. But maybe if I drop a hint he will...
Anyway my hair is full of bounceability, I am lurker and orang-utan-gene free, I used my brillopads makeup that is still in tip-top condition now and I am ready for my Laugh to come pick me up on his camel. Perfectamondo.
30 minutes later
Waiting for the lads to arrive. As always.
Jas has decided to really get into character and is dressed as Juliet dressed; i.e. like a prat.
I am stood with her and was about to tell her about Dave dumping Emma when she started rearranging her hair. Which is basically her fringe. She has a head full of fringe. Fringey.
"I think you got it there Jas." I said because otherwise we would be here until Vati shrinks a trouser size and I think you all know how long that would be.
"Really?" She asked whilst fringe flicking. Yes, she can do TWO things at once.
Really? To lie or not to lie? To make a quick escape or wait for a huffy fringey pal? To be helpful-type folk or be honest?
"No Jas. Of course you didn't get it. You will never get it unless you get it off."
Jas is staring at me all funny. I think she's trying to work out what I just said. God she is vair vair dim.
20 seconds later
Oh she's finally got it. And is now in a huff with me. Like I didn't see that coming. She really should open the box with her creativiosity. Or is it think about a box? One of them.
5 seconds later
Jas said, "Right, I am going to see Tom so we can do something constructive."
"Is that snogging by any chance?"
Jas gave me a wierd look. Kind of like she had a twig up her bum-e-oley and didn't know how it got there. "Georgia some people do more than snog."
"Oo-er!!"
"Oh grow up." She pointed behind me. "Please at least think about what you say to him. Just don't go with your instincts." Then she stormed off!
How rude! I am officially ignorez-vousing her. And giving her the cold shoulder. And in a huff with her. And a nervy b with her. And everything else on the losing it scale.
0.1 seconds later
Wait, did she say him?" Who's him? Dave? Please let it be Dave...
0.2 seconds later
"Hey Georgia."
Merde. It's Slush boy.
"Oh hi Eric, it's nice to see you." Not. I hope he doesn't try and snog me now. I should keep my mouth closed.
"Yeah you too," he said eyeing me funny, "I had a great time the other night. It's a shame you had to get back so early."
I nodded said, "Mmm, me tmmm, mmmm, yemmm."
1 second later
"Camel got your tongue?"
Oh my giddy god! Dave! He's just appeared next to Eric! And he heard me talking like an utter twit. Brillopads.
I said, "No I was humming."
Well I started to but only got to "No" because then Slush boy said, "Hey Dave, how's it going?"
Dave said, "Pretty good, you?"
Then Eric nodded and they did that naff thing lads do which is like a handshake and a hug and a smack on the back all at once. Why can't they be normal like girls? We don't hit each other. Well except Jas when she's in a huff. And Rosie when she's excited. But those two aren't really normal anyway.
Shut up brain! I need to get back to the fiasco of Dave and Slush boy. Does Dave know I went out with Eric? What if he finds out? Will he not want to date me? He must not find out and that is le fact!
2 seconds later
Eric said, "Yeah things are good. Especially last night right Georgia?"
WHATTTT?!
"Cinema!" I shouted, then said in a really teeny voice, "We went to the cinema."
Dave nodded and Eric laughed. Then he said. "Right I gotta go, see you around."
5 seconds later
As soon as Slush boy left Dave said, "So are you and Eric together?"
"No!" I said, "We just went out once. Last night actually. But just once. Not together." Am I even making sense? Wait that's a stupid question I never make sense.
Dave grinned, "Calm down Gee," aww he called me Gee. Sex Kitty would be better, but I suppose Gee is ok. "I only asked you out, I didn't say we were exclusive or anything. I think it's healthy to see more than one person."
Merde. "You do?"
He nodded, "Yeah, that's why I broke up with Emma. I don't really think I'm the kind of guy that gets serious. I just wanna have a laugh."
"Oh," I said really quietly.
"Yeah I'm going out with, erm, Grace this weekend. You have fun with Eric." Dave said then ran off!
1 second later
Oh gott in himmel. Dave wants to see more than one girl? Meaning me and lots of other people? And he thinks I'm sort of seeing Slush boy?
Is this taking the PANTS or what?!
Ok I have good news for you all! (I think) Because I want to post the last chappy on xmas day I am going to have to hurry along and post the next few chapters quite close together... (like 2 or 3 days apart) so I wanted to let you all know so you can regularly expect updates and review! Because I would hate to lose reviews because people don't have chance to read :(
until next time... horn's out! ;)