A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed and alerted this. And thank you to Saga for being my beta. Sorry this took so long!

"Almost Alright"

I don't want to live

To waste another day

Underneath the shadow of mistakes I made

Cause I feel like I'm breaking inside

I don't want to fall and say I lost it all

-"Breaking Inside" by Shinedown

Lia crouched down next to Seph as the two red heads glanced at Alistair. He looked ahead as he watched Fiona and her team, Nathaniel, Oghren and Anders, approach the Silverite Mines before several darkspawn and an ogre burst out. The distraction team lured the group away from the entrance. "Looks like it's our turn," Jax said behind them. Maker's breath she hoped this plan worked. She stood up, daggers drawn and ready.

"Sense anything, Commander?" Lia asked.

Alistair glanced her way. The disheartened look on his face told her everything she needed to know. Yes, he did, but for some reason he didn't want to share. Whatever it was upset him. She wanted to reach out and touch him but she didn't know if it was good idea or not. Lia bit on her lower lip.

"So what do we do?" Seph asked. "The window is slowly closing."

Alistair nodded. "Let's go."

The three wardens followed their commander into the mines. It was dark and eerily quiet. Lia hadn't known what she really expected. She could feel the taint in her blood reaching out. She felt like she should be screaming but she was too afraid to open her mouth. She sucked in a sharp breath and that was when she heard movement. Her head snapped upwards when she saw what looked to be a darkspawn emissary…but oddly different at the same time.

"I knew that you would find us," he said. Lia followed his gaze to Alistair.

"You know this thing?" Seph asked him, taking the words right out of her mouth.

She could feel magic surge around them as Jax drew his staff. "I don't have a good feeling about this." Alistair took a step forward but it was too late. Lia was too slow to notice the trap that he set off. Damn it. The four of them seemed to sway on their feet.

"Why?" She heard Alistair ask. "You didn't keep your end of the deal!" Deal? What deal? She opened her mouth to say something before she fell to her knees and onto the ground. Their leader was the last to go down and everything went black.

When Lia came to, she felt the warm sensation of healing magic. "That's it, there you go." Jax? Her eyes fluttered open and the room swayed. "Well, hello there," he greeted her with a grin. "Glad to see I could coax you into waking."

"They took our stuff," came Seph's voice from somewhere in the room. Or prison, in their case, as she noticed the metal bars encasing them in a small area.

Lia noticed Alistair standing in front of them with his back turned. "What was that thing?"

"The Architect," he replied without turning to look at her. "He's a darkspawn, but he's so much more at the same time." Maker, she would imagine. The thing could talk! Her eyebrows furrowed together as she brought up her hand and rubbed her forehead.

"I heard you say something about a deal." Lia noticed both Seph and Jax turn their gaze to Alistair, both surprised at the news.

He sighed. "I think it's time I start being honest," he said quietly. "This isn't the first time that I've met the Architect. At a friend's expense, I made a deal when I could have killed him." She didn't ask what kind. She felt like that answer was coming but he needed to take his time. "During the Blight, my old mentor, Duncan, was killed. But when we returned to Ostagar, his body was missing. I wanted to know. I needed to know." Alistair hung his head. "I owed the man my life. He deserved proper burial rights. But he didn't hold up his end of the deal. He wanted to live. I should have known…" He choked on his words as Lia got up to her feet. She placed her hand on his shoulder.

"You couldn't have known," she told him gently. She was the last person in the world that could judge. If she had been in the same position and had the chance to see her family, she would have done the same thing.

"She's right," Seph said softly. "It was stupid of you to trust a darkspawn, but no one here blames you."

Alistair glanced back at them and nodded. He opened his mouth to say something to them when a door on the far side of the room opened. "Be prepared for anything," he warned them.

It was a darkspawn, that much Lia could tell, but when it came into view, with its head bowed, she didn't know what to expect. "I am sorry," it said. His voice was raspy, but the underlying tone sounded like…remorse.

"Messenger?" Alistair asked.

The darkspawn nodded. How many more of them could talk? Lia bit her tongue as she waited to see what happened. "What are you doing here?" Alistair asked.

"To help," the Messenger replied. It reached into its pocket and pulled out a key to unlock the cell. "This key will also unlock the room where your weapons are."

"Why would a darkspawn help us?" Seph asked. Her eyes narrowed at the thing as she crossed her arms in front of her. She never trusted easily but for good reason. The darkspawn must have had an ulterior motive, right? How could they trust it when another talking darkspawn had been the one that had put them there?

"Well, I'm not going to complain," Jax replied as he cocked an eyebrow at his significant other. He offered a smile which made her relax some, but Lia couldn't help but think that the other red head had a point.

"Duncan," the darkspawn replied.

Lia wished that she could see Alistair's face. "What?" His voice was broken, tight, but desperate. "Do not lie to me, Messenger."

"I am Duncan. I was…Duncan," he replied. "Please, take this and go."

Alistair shook his head. "No," he replied. "No, how is it you? How…"

Did darkspawn smile? If they did, Lia was sure that the look on the Messenger's face was the closest that they were ever going to see on one. He leaned in and said something to Alistair that she couldn't hear. Lia glanced at Seph and Jax. It seemed like they hadn't heard it either.

"Alistair?" Lia questioned, wondering what they were going to do next. He took the key from the Messenger after their cell was unlocked. Jax and Seph were the first ones out and Lia followed. She turned to the Warden Commander who held out a hand to the talking darkspawn.

"Come with us," he begged him.

The Messenger shook his head. "I cannot," he replied. "It is not my world anymore." Her heart broke for the two of them.

"That doesn't have to be true," Alistair argued.

"Yes, it does. Now go and please, please do not tell Fiona. I know she hunts the Architect. Don't trust him. Don't listen."

Alistair nodded and turned away. He started towards his wardens before he stopped to look back at the Messenger. "I will be back for you… Duncan. Thank you." The inner conflict had been written all over his face as he rejoined the three of them. He quietly found the cell that held their weapons and they rearmed themselves. Now they just had to find a way out.

No one spoke as they walked through the Silverite Mines. Either they were too afraid to or they just didn't know what to say. Lia was betting on the latter. She had met Duncan once when he had come to Castle Cousland to recruit. He had been unable to find acceptable potentials to take with him, though the rumor mill within the castle walls had said that he wanted to recruit her and her father wouldn't hear of it.

If Bryce Cousland could see her now…

Lia shook her head as the sounds of battle echoed towards them. Their pace quickened in time to see Fiona, Oghren, Nathaniel and Anders fighting… The Architect. The fierceness on the elf as she faced the small dwarf with white eyes surprised her. "You will let me near him!" Fiona cried. "Utha!" But they continued to fight and the First Warden's advancement to her foe was near nonexistent.

Alistair left Seph, Lia and Jax to chase after the Architect. Magic soared towards him and he did his best to block it with his shield. Lia ran after him. She hadn't realized what she was doing until she was by his side. More darkspawn poured into the cavern they were in, but it wouldn't stop them. It couldn't.

Everything had happened too fast. Battle cries echoed around them. The gurgling sounds of dying darkspawn added to the sound as the eight of them seemed to be able to cut through the flanking lines. Bodies fell, littering the ground around them, and they were able to close in on the Architect. Lia rolled as a lightning spell barely missed her. She threw her dagger at the closest darkspawn and caught it in the neck. As it fell backward she grabbed her dagger and rammed the heel of her boot against its chest.

Seph moved quickly with Jax by her side. The mixture of primal spells and berserker moves decimated those who came after them. Alistair was finally able to reach the Architect and take him on himself. The cries that left his lips were not human. They were raw with a fury that he should have had control of, but he made a mistake. He left an open spot for the Architect to catch him off guard. The emissary's long talons clawed his face as a spell, Lia was unsure of what kind, sent him flying back.

"No!" Was she the one who screamed that? No, she was sure it wasn't. Fiona jumped in front of her son. She swung her staff above her head and rammed it against the Architect's side. A spell erupted from her sending the emissary staggering back. The dwarf…Utha jabbed her sword towards Fiona and it ripped open her robes on the side.

Lia went to Alistair's side and saw blood gushing from his wounds. "Jax! Anders!" She yelled for a healer. The others could handle the Architect and his little follower.

Anders was the first to arrive, falling to the other side of Alistair. She watched as the wounds on their Commander's face started to close from gashes to mere scratches. "You're going to have a scar," Anders told Alistair as he came to. The mage looked at Lia. "But I hear women love them." He gave her a cheeky wink and she reminded herself to slap him later.

"Where…" Alistair began to ask. "Where is he?"

"Easy," Lia warned as she helped him to his feet. Anders was good, but she didn't know if Alistair had fully come to yet or not.

The ground underneath them shook. Lia's head whipped around just to see that the Architect and Utha had indeed escaped. "It's a cave in!" Fiona yelled. "Retreat!"

Nathaniel had helped Lia get Alistair out of there quicker than he would have by himself. The eight of them collapsed on the ground when they escaped the mines. Lia had been unsure about how long they had been running, but it had been enough.

"Duncan," Alistair whispered. "He was still in there."

Fiona went to her son and grabbed the front of his shirt. "Listen to me," she said. "Listen to me closely Alistair. Whatever was said in there, whoever you met that claimed to be Duncan, it isn't him anymore. He is gone!" The First Warden winced in pain. "They both are." Lia gathered that Utha was included. She averted her eyes to the ground for a moment. She didn't know the story there, so who was she to comment.

"You're wrong," he argued. "He said the one thing that only Duncan would know. He knew why I needed to leave the Chantry." Lia raised an eyebrow. She watched as Alistair swallowed hard and looked away. Things must have been difficult for him growing up. She wanted to ask, she wanted to know, but they were just getting close and if he wanted to share, he would.

Fiona shoved him back slightly as he was still on the ground. "You are a fool," she told him.

"He isn't," Lia found herself saying. She knew that it wasn't her place, but the fury that burned in her heart from the conversation wasn't going to go away. Seph gave her a knowing look. Holding her tongue would have been the smarter option, but one did not always fall on common sense. "If my parents had been in that position or anyone of my family that had died, I would have spared them. I would have believed every word that they said even if they were a darkspawn."

Fiona's eyes narrowed at her. She watched the elf as she turned away and as her shoulders slumped slightly. "Forgive me, son."

"We need to get back to the Keep….First Warden," he said. Alistair sounded cold. If Lia hadn't known better, she would have been frightened for him, but as it were, she knew he was hurting. Could he believe the Messenger? Or did he follow the advice of his mother? He brought a hand up to his face and touched where he would bear a scare for the rest of his life. Lia noticed that he was looking at her and she offered him a small smile.

"After you," she whispered so only he could hear.

It was good to see the smile returned.

He just…needed to think. Part of him thought that was a wild understatement. The sun was starting to set and he just wanted a place to himself. He didn't want to deal with the Banns demanding his attention. He left Varel to deal with politics, and luckily, his mother had decided to step in, even if it was only to get on his good side again. He ran a hand over his face and stopped when he reached the tender area where the Architect had clawed him over his right eye. If it wasn't for Anders, he probably would have lost sight in it. He could live with the scars. At the moment they were like scratches. He had a few puckered scars around his body; a few more wouldn't make a difference to him.

She had never left his side during the battle or after. Lia Cousland, he didn't know what to think of her. She could have been compared to Evie, but he would never do that. Both women were their own person. He knew he needed to stop living in the past if he was to move on in his life. Maker, things might not even work out, but it was worth the chance, wasn't it? He bit his lower lip as he thought about it. Alistair grabbed onto the stone wall in front him and looked down at the busy Keep below him.

Something big was still around the corner, he could feel it.

"Will you tell me about him?" Her voice caught him off guard. His first reaction was to tell her to leave him alone, but in reality, he didn't want to be by himself. Alistair smiled slightly as he turned his head to look at Lia. Her head was tilted to the side slightly as she smiled at him. "Duncan, I mean."

"I thought I was the only one who knew about this place," he said. It was the highest point of Vigil's Keep. It overlooked the whole castle and had a fantastic view of Amaranthine.

"Well I did spend a lot of time here as a young girl," she replied, smirking a bit as she made her way closer to him. "And there is a Howe roaming around, so I think that your secret spot isn't so secret."

Alistair laughed slightly and nodded. "So what did you want to know about him?"

"He was like a father to you, wasn't he?"

He turned away and crossed his arms in front of his body. "He watched over me for as long as I could remember. I would see him every so often, but we never spoke until he had come to the Chantry that I had been sent to. It wasn't too far from Highever. The things that went on there…" He shook his head. "Well they weren't very Chantry-like and he knew. He became like a father to me, eventually, and when he died, I blamed myself."

Lia nodded slowly. "May I speak without causing you offense?"

He looked at her, surprised that she would even ask that. "Of course."

"I thought that darkspawn were born," she began slowly. "If that's so then that couldn't have been Duncan, right?"

Alistair sucked in a sharp breath. He wanted to believe that it was. He needed to believe. "What he said made me begin to think otherwise…" he admitted.

"What exactly did he say to you in the cell?" She asked as she stood next to him.

"Maybe one day I will tell you what it was about," he replied. "But for now just trust me." She nodded and he felt like she did. He had allowed himself to start to get closer to her, but he couldn't reveal everything just yet. He offered her a small smile. He reached out and took her hand in his. It was a brave notion for him, bold but comforting. "Thank you for standing up for me outside the mines. Not many people would risk the wrath of the First Warden."

A small snort of a laugh escaped her. He liked the way her head tilted backwards as she laughed and how her eyes squinted slightly. "I'm a natural rebel," she told him. "My father used to remind me daily."

"I don't doubt that."

Lia nudged him and he wrapped an arm around her. Bold, yes, but bold was good. "By the way, this doesn't count for our first date."

Alistair sighed. "Women."

A/N: I will definitely be expanding more on the Duncan/Messenger thing in time, I promise.