Hi all, I am back from my holiday and hopefully a little more rested than I was back before Christmas – I hope you've all had fun times.
Just a quick message to clear up some small confusion last chapter. And please keep in mind the last RWBY episode I saw was season 3 ep 2 – so my knowledge might be a little out of date. But Neo as Jaune… that was using what many believe to be Neo's semblance – illusions. She basically made herself look like Jaune and acted out how she imagined Jaune probably should be acting (especially with HER training… I mean I'm Neo, and I trained him… so he must be badass right!?).
Anyway I know there will be crazy discussion as to Neo's semblance, after all she shows illusions and teleportation – and there's reasons to support both. I mean if it were just illusion then why would Raven be chill when Neo vanished? That would be a very dangerous moment!
But if it is just teleportation, then how does she keep doing the mirror shatter effect in season 2? Anyway, in PA I've currently just assumed both.
Whatever, we're not here to debate that. But the main aspect of that minimake was an in-joke I had, that "Neo could do Jaune better than Jaune could."
And Exvnir has drawn an image which I feel reflects that perfectly – which is now the cover art for this. Exvnir has also done really well at accurately drawing the changed clothing and armour I described for Jaune in Professor Arc – which was meant to make him look slightly more professional and older. So check out the image if you want to see what he looks like, keeping in mind that it is Neo in that image – and that like I said – Neo does Jaune better than Jaune does Jaune!
Confidence really does make the man.
Now this chapter idea came from THE-Twilight-BlazeKnight so thanks to him for the concept. I've been reading some Terry Pratchett and some Alan Dean Foster on holiday, so I adapted their writing styles for this chapter, and it really feels like Staffroom Chronicles is becoming my little experimentation fic, where I can try different writing styles each chapter. That's good, as obviously a shift in style in a main fic would create serious dissonance.
Cover Art: Exvnir
Chapter 11 - The Quickest Way to a Man's Heart
Beacon Academy was a difficult school to manage. When your very craft is teaching teenagers to cause vast amounts of damage there was always going to be the potential for… well, vast amounts of damage. Yet that was hardly an excuse those above (the insurance companies) were willing to accept.
Which had led the staff, in their infinitely limited wisdom, to come up with an event that might help to counteract the madness - if only for a little while. And while they had failed spectacularly at that, they had managed to replace it with a… different sort of madness.
One only slightly less destructive.
"Welcome one and all," Peter Port screamed into the microphone, leaning back as though to proclaim his words to the very heavens above, "to the one – the only… Beacon Cookery Contest!"
Crowds of students cheered and screamed at the cue, filling the open plaza of Beacon Academy with noise, atmosphere, and the occasional piece of underwear.
Professor Jaune Arc sat in the middle of it all, (that was to say the noise, not the underwear) at a table with Glynda Goodwitch to his left, and the esteemed Headmaster Ozpin to his right. Both of whom looked absently amused and interested as they watched the various chosen students work at their tables. Ingredients, utensils and dust-empowered attacks flying.
Beacon was an academy for Hunters after all. What was a soufflé, if not for the semblance ready to kill you behind it?
But the Beacon Cookery Contest, to go back a little, was an event that helped to promote not teamwork, not international co-operation, nor even improved combat skills. No, the Beacon Cookery Contest (BCC to those who liked to make things sound more official than they had any right to be, ergo Glynda Goodwitch) was an event that helped to promote a whole load of nothing.
A healthy amount of nothing, one might say.
And truly the emphasis ought to be on the word healthy. With the powerful abilities of those that studied at Beacon, not to mention their often temperamental nature, nothing was actually pretty damn safe.
It was something you had to worry about. Like when Yang Xiao-Long decided something needed to be done about the guys who kept ogling her (or worse, her sister) in the hallways. Or when a few of the more arrogant students decided it was time to do something about Pyrrha Nikos.
Or when the racist students who still inhabited their halls decided that Velvet Scarlatina needed to be taught something. Though these days it was pretty much a race as to whether Coco got hold of them, or Cardin. He supposed it really didn't matter who caught them however, the result was often the same…
Jaune still dreaded the day those two met, because he was sure it would not only be a roaring friendship, but that it would be one aimed in his direction.
Either way, a day of nothing had to him, sounded like the best idea ever. Especially when something from his point of view might also include Neo, Cinder and/or Winter Schnee. Nothing had sounded wonderful…
"Of course, the preliminary rounds have already been sorted," Peter continued to explain, for the benefit of someone Jaune didn't know – after all, hadn't they all been there from the start? "The Head Chef, along with three representatives of the school cooks already selected the best offerings to continue to the final stage – where they will be judged not by professional chefs… but by our own staff! Tell us why Marco." The portly man handed over the microphone to an even portlier man, who was dressed in white.
"But of course my friend," the huge man said, his numerous chins quivering with delight, "for people such as us, judging food is an easy and delicate task. But it is not ourselves who do much of the eating in this fine establishment, no! It is yourselves, and as such we believe the palates of those who eat are the ones who must be tested, hence our erstwhile Professors having this most enviable role."
The fat man continued to nod (and wobble) as Peter took the microphone back, the crowd cheering happily along to his words. Jaune clapped politely, as did Ozpin and Glynda on either side of him. Though in truth he thought the words logical, there was still a cynical suspicion that the man's decision was less about honour and more of self-preservation.
After all, he wouldn't be the one eating the student's food. And if there was anything Jaune was certain of, it was that these teens could still somehow fuck up nothing, and end up with a meal that could be classified as weaponry.
Or worse, something.
His eyes narrowed on Yang especially, who looked to be smirking entirely too much as her hands blurred across various utensils and cooking surfaces. He'd always thought she'd be the death of him, but hadn't quite meant it so literally.
When he'd first been told of this, of course the first thing had been to ask Glynda how it all began. What prompted a school such as Beacon, to encourage a competition revolving around cookery? It had come as absolutely no surprise to find out it had been Ozpin's idea, but quite a lot of surprise to hear it had been a pretty much fantastic idea!
Apparently it had started about eight years ago, when the various cooks and staff working at Beacon in the cafeteria had organised a strike. Not over pay, no… there was generous danger pay involved in feeding the students of Beacon (not to mention the danger of Oobleck, or rather – the danger of being late with the coffee shipment to Oobleck, though there were debates as to whether the term "danger" was suitable to something that had a 100% mortality rate).
Either way, there'd been some incident with a Semblance that animated chicken, and a lot of fowl that hadn't taken kindly to being dinner – and really, Ozpin assured him, it was all one great big misunderstanding.
The kind of misunderstanding that ended with multiple out-of-court settlements.
And the strike, of course. Which had at the time threatened to throw the populace of Beacon into a dangerous state of peckish.
Ozpin had stepped in and suggested the Beacon Cookery Contest, an event that would not only enable students to show off their lesser-known skills, but also provide food (in the loosest definition of the word) to the mass of hungry students.
And there had been a prize for the winner, a stipend of lien which they could use to improve the comforts of their dorm – valued indeed, considering the students would be living in said dorm for four years.
People would kill, and had committed various culinary crimes, over the stipend – which numbered in the thousands of lien (two, to be precise, but who was counting? Other than every single student in Beacon). Literally… he had even seen Lie Ren huddled over a bowl of some kind of soup while deflecting grenades with his feet.
Suffice to say the fallout of the industrial action had been averted. Half the student body had been happily fed, while the other half had suffered food poisoning so bad they didn't feel the slightest hunger. And the annual festival had continued since then.
In fact, the majority of the chefs still echoed that strike action by taking the day off, though again, Jaune felt this had more to do with self-preservation than anything else.
The damn cowards…
"And the cooking has come to a close!" Peter announced, even as a loud timer began to sound, bringing a hush to the assembled mass of students. Hushed conversation sprung up as Peter paused, presumably for dramatic effect. "And it has come… to the time…" another long pause, students leaning forward in their seats. Jaune wishing he could hide under his. "… for the tasting."
Oh Gods… it was time for him to die…
The first dish went a long way to disarming his fears, as Coco Adel smiled towards the judges, three plates of a rather beautiful looking dish being placed before them by the Head Chef, Marco. It certainly looked fantastic, all bright colours and artistic decoration that wouldn't have looked out of place in the kind of restaurant Winter Schnee liked to frequent.
There was even a small carrot, carved into an accurate representation of a Nevermore, sitting at roost.
"Fashionable as always," the Headmaster commented idly as he nodded towards the smirking Huntress-in-training, who only tipped her beret in acknowledgement. "One can expect no less of Miss Adel."
The blond teacher shrugged at the words, conceding the point as he marked down a solid ten next to the box that indicated appearance. There really could be no question on that side, and with the dish sitting attractively in front of him he happily picked up his fork and dug it in.
A brow was raised when the dish seemed to hiss and fart at him, the potato deflating immediately once it was punctured. He hesitated, azure eyes flicking to the side to watch Glynda take the first bite. Only to catch her looking towards him, clearly waiting for the same.
"Ladies first," Jaune nodded politely, only to see the stern woman smile beatifically.
"Worry not Jaune, I'm just taking a moment to savour the scent. You go ahead."
"What a coincidence, so am I!"
Except it didn't seem that his hand had the same idea, since it thrust itself into his mouth before he could finish speaking, as though some invisible force had hold of his wrist. Blue orbs narrowed at the woman, who looked entirely too pleased for her own good.
Right before the taste hit him.
Grbll…
It was like a dozen Beowolves fighting to the death within his mouth, strangling one another as they slid down his throat only to continue their unending war within his stomach. His hands clenched into fists on the table even as he tilted his head to one side, eyes clenched shut.
"It certainly looks like Professor Arc is enjoying the flavour," Peter's voice broke through the images, mostly of his life flashing before his eyes.
With monumental force of will he managed to bring his head back to the assembled audience, swallowing the last vestiges of... thing… and nodding towards Coco Adel, who was watching him with all the attention of a snake ready to strike.
"Unique," he managed to croak out as he looked to Ozpin, who was nodding and pushing his plate aside.
"Delicious," Glynda commented as she held up her empty plate for everyone to see. Jaune's eyes nearly fell from his skull, she'd managed to eat all that!? Had she somehow cloaked it in her power even within her own body – so that she need never taste it!?
Either way, Jaune shrugged and quickly wrote down a two in the taste section. He would have written a zero, but was afraid she might somehow find out.
"I baked cookies!" Ruby Rose cheered needlessly, for there was little mistaking the three biscuits arranged on each of their plates. He ought to have guessed really, and he could even make out an amused chuckle from the Headmaster.
"That you did Miss Rose," the older man said as he reached out for one, "and they certainly look delicious."
The small girl in red beamed at the praise before turning to Jaune, her silver eyes wide with hope.
He couldn't resist, and really he had to assume Marco had felt the same way judging by how he'd let cookies get so far in a cookery contest. Really, they needed to figure out how to turn that look into a weapon against the Grimm.
The food though… it looked simplistic if he was to be honest, and there really wasn't much one could do to be artful with cookies. A few of the chocolate chips had been arranged as though to smile, so with a shrug he marked down a six for appearance and happily bit into it.
"Miss Rose…" Ozpin said calmly – too calmly. "What exactly is in these cookies?" Jaune nodded in agreement to the question, not trusting his mouth as he gripped the table edge and tried to ride out the storm.
"It's my mother's recipe," Ruby boasted, "there's sugar, spice and everything nice!"
"Please… elaborate…" The Headmaster managed to get out, some beads of sweat dribbling down his brow.
"Well… first of all there was sugar." The girl paused with one finger pressed to her lower lip. "There was only one bag so I just used that, normally I'd use three or four."
Well that explained why his heart was racing… and why he felt the need to chew on an entire tube of toothpaste. Another rush of sugar hit him as a low keening wail broke from his lips.
"Then there was the spice, I didn't know which to use but they say variety is the spice of life so I just used all of them."
Ahh… so that was why his tongue was on fire, and why his bowls were clenching and unclenching angrily, as though trying to burst from his body and flee. He idly wished they would take him with them.
"As for everything nice… well I just added anything that looked nice."
"Hey!" One of the chefs organising the competition shouted out, "I can't find the bleach."
"Miss Rose," the Headmaster wiped his brow and smiled like the patient old man he was, even as Jaune battled with the tears threatening to burst from his eyes. Oh he'd found the aftertaste alright… it was death. "You receive points for managing to bring my aura down to 70%, but you're also banned from ever cooking for your teammates."
"Aww… that's what Yang says…"
"In this, and only this," Glynda comforted, "Miss Xiao-Long is probably right, but don't worry Miss Rose – I thought they were delicious."
And once more she held up a clean plate for the girl to see, who bounced on her feet in happiness.
"Okay, now that Professor Arc is back from his little bathroom break we can continue," Peter narrated as Jaune sat back down, wiping a sleeve over his mouth. His heart was still beating a little fast, and likely would continue to do so until the sugar rush wore off. Presumably sometime next week.
"Heya!" Nora Valkyrie cheered as she bounded between them, the three teachers leaning back in sudden fear. No… how could she have possibly made it past the preliminary judges!? Sure, perhaps she had some hitherto unknown culinary talent, but Jaune would happily wager otherwise!
Three plates were pushed before them once more, each filled with a simple pile of rice with some curry resting atop it. It would have looked perfectly normal, had it not for been how the curry pulsed angrily, an orange glow that dimmed and brightened every few seconds.
"Ladies first," Jaune said once more, though this time he firmly placed his cutlery down on the table and turned to face Glynda, one brow raised.
"Truly a gentleman," the older woman nodded back, picking up her fork… and then just stopping. Watching the thing continue to beat like some kind of alien heart. "Truly… gentleman…"
There was an explosion behind him, both the blonde's heads ducking instinctively, before Jaune span about to see what had caused it. Ozpin was frozen, his fork held out in such a way that suggested all he had done was poke the food. It was gone now from his plate however, and was stuck to various parts of his body and face.
"An incendiary food…" the man whispered, calmly picking up his napkin and wiping the curry from his face. Jaune winced as he heard the steam rising from the man's skin, yet he never flinched – always the perfect picture of calm authority before the students. "How interesting."
"Spicy, but delicious." Glynda commented idly as Jaune heard the scraping of a plate landing on the table. Horrified he span about, just in time to see the woman daintily wipe something from her lips. "A little hot for my tastes, but certainly interesting."
"How!?" Jaune whispered, only to receive an elegantly raised brow in response.
"Whatever do you mean Mr Arc?" She simpered, "eat your curry, it's good for you."
His? Oh Gods… it was still there, wasn't it? He'd hoped it might sprout legs and run away while it had the chance. The crowd waited expectantly, Nora Valkyrie leaned forward… eagerly. Glynda's knee bumped against his own as if to add her own encouragement.
The Headmaster was no help, patting out a small fire that had erupted on his left shoulder, acting for all the world as though spontaneous combustion was a common issue for him.
Well… Glynda had managed it… what could be the harm. His fork wobbled as it pushed slowly towards the glowing curry, that he could almost imagine was watching him. The gleaming prongs reflected the glow as they neared… before they touched it.
Boom!
"Now that Professor Arc is back from the medical office," Peter cheered as Jaune sat back down, nursing a few patches where he had been injected with no doubt random and painful substances. He also felt a little faint from the blood tests Kitsune had insisted he undergo… those had always been drawn using injections in the past, though he supposed her nails had spilt more than enough to be collected…
At least the scars would heal, probably.
Blake Belladonna stepped up next, her bow in place as she nodded to each of the teachers in turn, though it was a little deeper to Jaune, as he nodded back. He hadn't known Blake knew how to cook… though it made sense. He hardly imagined the White Fang was a place with a solid culinary side, so no doubt she'd needed to learn how to cook just to look after herself.
"I've prepared some Ramen for each of you," the brunette explained as the three hearty bowls were placed before each of them. "I hope you enjoy."
"I'm sure we will Miss Belladonna," Glynda said as she pulled the bowl closer to herself, pausing to consider it, humming as she clutched a pen in one hand. Jaune's eyes narrowed, realising she was going to pretend she was deciding on a visual score for it until one of them took the plunge and sampled it first.
Amber eyes looked up towards him, the deep pools calm. It was Blake… he could trust her, right?
The spoon dipped into the broth, noodles and vegetables giving way as the brown-grey liquid pooled in the utensil. It didn't explode, which was a good sign – nor did some eldritch horror reach up from the depths to grab him. Hell, the spoon was even still whole as he held it up before his face. Didn't even look to be melting…
It was perhaps best to get it over with…
It was… salty. Too salty for his taste, but not so much that he couldn't appreciate others liking it. But more importantly the salt wasn't poison, or some kind of explosive dust. It was just salt.
Oh thank the Gods…
The noodles were pretty standard too, and although there didn't seem to be any meat in the dish, he could only be thankful that there wasn't something altogether more horrifying.
At least… until he got a few more servings down him, and his spoon bumped into something, disturbing the surface of the broth as a beady eye stared up at him. His hand froze, his mind doing much the same as he stared down in horror at that unblinking orb.
Another rose to the surface, breaking the calm like some great horrific Grimm coming up from the depths of the ocean.
"Miss Belladonna does like her fish…" Ozpin whispered from beside him, the man also leaning back with an uncomfortable expression on his face. The myriad eyes within his own bowl staring up at him as though accusing him of their murder.
No one liked to be watched while they were eating, less so when it was the food doing the watching.
"Very nice," the woman beside him sighed as she placed the bowl down, the wood rattling as it came to a rest, completely empty.
"You ate the bones too!?" Jaune had to ask, blue eyes wide as he looked from the empty bowl up towards the perfectly calm woman. Except that Glynda blinked uncertainly, emerald orbs looking to the left before she answered.
"Uh… sure, of course I did – I like bones."
Jaune's eyes narrowed dangerously, even as he wrote a seven down next to taste, and a four by appearance.
He preferred that his food didn't judge him. But at least he'd come out of it in one piece.
"I hope you enjoy," Weiss Schnee gushed as she stepped up, her food being distributed to them, "I never thought I'd get this far in a cookery contest! Perhaps it's a talent I should explore more."
"Perhaps so…" Jaune said uncertainly as he looked down at the dark ruin that lay before him. It looked like ash, smelled like ash – and chances were it probably tasted the same. He spared a glance for the Head Chef, who only shrugged.
"Of course," the Headmaster laughed, "it's always wonderful to see such talents fostered in our students, I'm sure your sister would be proud."
A bribe then? Jaune considered as he looked towards the Headmaster, who tucked into the meal with all the determination of a man walking to his death. They had the dust for the Festival now, but in a strange way it still made sense that he would want to be on the good side of Weiss, who in the future might determine how favourable any deals between Beacon and the SDC might be.
"Perhaps you should also make some for your sister when you are next home," Glynda suggested sweetly, eyes flashing in delight at the image.
Okay… maybe an assassination attempt too.
Jaune paid little attention to it though, picking up the plate and pouring it into his mouth before he slammed it back on the table, turning to Glynda with a raised brow. The crowd cheered, and Weiss herself seemed pleased by how little hesitation he had shown. Glynda however, who was caught with one arm held up before her, looked less thrilled.
"Your turn," he said as he nodded towards the ash, fighting to ignore the desire to cry at the taste still in his own mouth.
Glasses flashed as she smiled at him, her hands reaching down for the cutlery with an easy grace as she leaned forward in her seat.
A sudden commotion sounded in the crowd, Peter's seat giving way as he tumbled back in alarm – Jaune's, and everyone else's attention, flicking over to the spectacle. There was a strange noise to his left, and he turned back in muted horror – just in time to catch some stray particles of ash on the wind, and Glynda Goodwitch's crop ducking back beneath the table.
I knew it! I bloody knew it!
The last contestant turned out to be Yang Xiao-Long, as luck might have it.
That was to say, his complete lack of luck.
She smirked confidently at them all, a single large plate of vegetables, meat and potato before her – dripping with gravy. His mouth watered at the sight, but his mind knew better.
Fool him once… he'd been subjected to these student's meals all day!
And every single time Glynda had gotten away scot-free… That was unacceptable. Less that she had found a way to cheat, that was genius – but more that she hadn't helped him at the same time, and had instead abandoned him to his sorry fate.
He'd thought they were friends…
"The Yang Xiao-Long Sunday Dinner," the blonde beauty announced, for the benefit of the crowd as much as the three teachers. "I hope you're prepared."
Oh he was prepared alright…
The three plates were arranged before them, and now even closer the smell that wafted from it proved almost enough to break through his iron self-control. Don't trust it Jaune… this has Yang Xiao-Long written all over it…
Indeed, there was a small plastic card that had her name on it attached to the plate.
"It smells delicious," Ozpin said, and Jaune could hear the same incredulity that he felt. Jaune kept an eye on the woman beside him, even when Peter cried out as his new chair broke again, sending him to the ground.
The crop peeked above the table, the assorted food shooting away like a surface-to-air missile, firing off the side of Beacon to the presumed unfortunate fate of those below. This time however, Jaune was prepared – and before that weapon could vanish beneath the table he snatched it.
And before the crowds could turn back from watching Peter swear like an angry sailor, he swapped their plates.
"Looks… huff, like Professor Arc enjoyed his meal," Peter commentated, dedicated to his role even as he rubbed his posterior and refused his next seat.
"It was delicious," Jaune said victoriously as he nodded towards Yang, a firm grip on both his plate and Glynda's crop, which he held beneath the table.
The blonde teacher beside him started to sweat nervously, her delicate fingers twitching as they moved towards the cutlery. Her green eyes looked to him, as if for aid – and had it been any other situation he might have granted it. But after all he'd been through so far his mercy was at an all-time low.
Moisture glistened on her brow. The knife and fork descending towards the plate uncertainly. It bit first into the meat, cutting through it with more care than might actually have been required. An infinitesimally small amount of beef stood transfixed on the end, as Glynda added a little mashed potato and some vegetables to it – dipping the combination into some of the gravy.
He raised a single brow when she hesitated, the fork hung, dripping gravy, in the middle of the air as she looked down at it.
The crowd egged her on, Jaune tapped his knee against hers – earning a fierce glare that he did his best to ignore. She blinked, a slow sigh escaping her, before the fork moved. With a single determined bite her lips closed over the offering, chewing as her eyes drifted shut.
"This is delicious," Ozpin said from the other side of Jaune, his utensils hitting the table in shock as he leaned back. Jaune's blue eyes widened as he turned to the man, just in time to see him point towards Yang. "By far the best food I have ever tasted Miss Xiao-Long, and I mean that. Where did you learn?"
"Ah well," the buxom blonde laughed, "when our mum passed away I was pretty much forced to provide for the family. Ruby got her cooking genes from dad, so I had to do anything that required not poisoning everyone. Let's just say I had a strong incentive to learn to cook well, unless I wanted to live on microwaved food for the rest of my life."
"Very admirable," Glynda Goodwitch complimented as she smiled down at the girl, "and I must agree with my colleagues – this is truly wonderful food. Thank you for sharing it with us."
What!?
"Absolutely, Peter – I think we have our winner!"
"There we have it ladies and gentlemen!" Peter Port cried out as he held Yang's arm high, the blonde grinning fit to split her face in two. "Our Beacon Cooking Champion, and proud recipient of 2,000 lien to spruce up her room – tell me my girl, what will you be doing with it?"
"Heh, a girl has to keep some secrets eh?" The large man laughed as he turned her to the audience, various people cheering – none louder than her own team, who seemed thrilled to have the money improving their dorm.
"But…" Jaune stammered as he looked down at his empty plate… Glynda's empty plate… "but…" He looked towards the woman beside him, who spared him the briefest glance before her arm came down between the two of them, shielding the apparently incredible food from him. Even as she smiled.
"Now, now Jaune…" she cooed, "don't be greedy – you've had yours."
"But… that's not fair…"
Aww Jaune. Poor baby, but as you well know life is not fair.
So what has Yang spent the money on? I did have an idea, but decided to leave it – if anyone wants to suggest any funny ideas they have feel free to do so. I'll be reading through the reviews as always and will choose whatever I find the funniest (yet in-character) idea.
And as always you can feel free to suggest ideas for chapters – Hell, this one by THE-Twilight-BlazeKnight was suggested months ago – so it can take time for me to get round to it. That's just life, but hey – if I like an idea enough I will use it, and as you can see, I always credit the original idea giver.
Omake: Inspired by Exvnir, though not a comment of his – check his DA profile
"Quite soft, but nice." The Headmaster judged as he swallowed the first bite of Ruby Rose's cookies, washing them down with some water. Jaune and Glynda nodded along as they chewed their own, idly enjoying the strange taste.
"I'm so glad! The girl said loudly, her hands fidgeting before her as her silver eyes remained locked onto the youngest of the judges. "I'm so glad sempai likes them!"
"Ahah," Jaune laughed nervously as Glynda threatened him with another harsh glare – as if it was somehow his fault for encouraging her! "Well, they certainly are nice Ruby – what's in them?"
"Eee," the girl squealed happily, eyes wide as she stared at him. "Jaune-sempai, your cookies have my love nectar mixed into the dough – I hope you like them!"
…
Jaune's eyes closed, even as he heard Glynda retching beside him, two fingers inserted into her mouth in a desperate effort to induce vomiting. Ozpin calmly excused himself and rushed to the bathroom.
Jaune could only sigh sadly, knowing he was already doomed.
"So do I win the prize?" Ruby crowed happily, "I need the money for a new set of aura-strengthened chains for my wall! Heh… sempai must never escape…"
Welp, dat's a thing. Apparently this is from something else too, a reference or something – so yes, it's not original, I know. I just liked the art.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed, this was written on a cruise in the middle of the Caribbean ocean. With copious amounts of Southern Comfort and Lemonade by my side.
Also I don't even recall who started the Yandere-Ruby joke, it was a review ages ago who suggested it for an omake – mao17 or something? Either way, it looks to have stuck. Much like the Special Coffee vote in the main story becoming a thing, lol.
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