A/N: Hello My lovely readers! I'm so glad to be back writing, It's been a tough month but I'm trying my best to stay positive. I just want to thank you all for your patience and your support. I know I said I would post last week, but I was a little busy, So as always let me know what ya'll think. A little constructive criticism goes a long way. And I want to thank my best friend who has been betaing my story. (and dealing with me always messaging her about it!)

Chapter 9: Risk

Mae stood there looking at him in utter disbelief. Mae made her way over to her brother with the journal in hand. Gripping it so tight that her knuckles had become white. With all the strength she could muster she whacked him on the back of his head with the journal. Arthur jumped away with a pained expression, he rubbed the back of his head "Bloody hell Mae, what the hell was that for?" Mae started to pace about their mother's room, she stopped and took a deep breath before she spoke, "I have a question, What do you think about magic? And I'm not talking about people using it. I'm talking about magic in itself?" Mae leered Arthur down, making him uncomfortable. Arthur shifted his weight and brought his hand down from his head. "It is something that corrupts the human soul. Every magic user I have ever encountered wanted to bring all of Camelot down." Mae begin to tap her foot and nodded at his answer, "Okay alright, well then what about Gaius?" Arthur looked at her bewildered, She continued "He practiced Magic, are you saying that he is evil?" Arthur began to sputter, "Uh well, um, you know...
Mae spoke over him "And what of the people who practice it outside of Camelot? Is the world facing chaos? Are the kingdoms surrounding us falling to their knees by magic users? Arthur, why do you think that Magic users come into Camelot and try to strike us down? Are we really sure that Camelot was even in ruin before father usurped the throne?"

Arthur stood there quietly trying to think of answers to her questions. Of course, he didn't think Gaius was evil, he swore it all off. Although she does have a point, the world isn't anymore chaotic then it usually is. Arthur had been taught all his life that Magic users were evil, that they sneak their way into lives, only to destroy. Then to only use him to kill their father. Was father lying about what happened? Arthur shook his head, "Because why not? They have magic and want to destroy anything and everything." Mae's laughter boomed within the empty halls. Arthur stood there watching, wondering if his sister had gone mad. "You are an even bigger idiot than I could have ever imagined." Arthur blinked a couple times, letting her words sink in. Mae began to calm down, her breathing erratic from laughter. Then she gone into a steady silence, her eyes scream with anger "Do you know why they come here? It is because father has been slaying their kind for 20 years, for 20 goddamn years. And not just them, people presumed to know people with magic or any association, whether it be true or not. Father has been killing innocents before we were even born. I will say this Arthur, History is written by the victors." Arthur couldn't wrap his head around what his sister was saying. Before he could say anything else, she was gone.

Merlin decided that he would head up to his room and grab a few things to take to Mae's and his "training" room. "So, how did everything go?" Merlin almost jumped out of his skin as Gaius appeared behind a column in the courtyard. He turned to look at him, "Well you know, same old story. Arthur trusting and it pretty much blowing up in his face." Gaius sighs and shakes his head, "Do you have any idea of how dangerous that was? Especially to have Mae also go along? She could have been hurt or worse, killed!" Merlin furrowed his brows and bit his lip slightly. "What was I supposed to to Gaius? I told them both it wasn't a good idea, but I'm just a servant and have to do what they tell me!" Gaius narrowed his eyes at Merlin, then slowly a small smile forms on his face. Well I'm just glad that you are all safe and sound." Merlin let out a sigh, "Trust me when I say, me too." Merlin started to chew the inside of his cheek, Gaius had noticed this and he raised his right brow, "What is it my boy?" Merlin turned to his mentor, "Was Mae and Arthur really born of magic?" Merlin had been thinking about it the entire time they were riding back, he couldn't get the question out of his mind. He would have asked Mae, but he knew she had more things to worry about then to satisfy his own curiosity. Gaius stood there fighting himself whether he should lie or just tell the truth, he chooses the latter. He pursed his lips and nodded. Merlin made a fist, squeezing it hard enough for his knuckles to turn white. How could Uther use magic and then turn around and destroy it. Merlin turned away from Gaius and rushed to find Mae.

Mae began pacing in her chambers, Morgana sitting on her bed watching her. "He just make me so furious." Morgana lip turned upward, smirking. "Well it is Arthur were talking about. He makes everyone furious." Mae glared toward Morgana, she began to laugh. "Look Mae, you're not going to change his mind in a day. We've been taught that magic was evil for our entire lives. Not to mention my sister tried to use him to kill your father." Mae bit her lip, she stopped pacing and sat next to her best friend. "I know, you're right." Morgana smiled and flipped her hair, "Of course I am." Mae rolled her eyes, and took a few strands of her hair into her hand and started to twirl it. "I just wish I could tell him about my magic. I hate keeping something so important from him." Morgana agreed with her. "I know darling." A few moments pass and with one swift motion the door swung open, Merlin dashing through it. Mae quickly stood and walked toward him, a loud clap sounded and Merlin grabbed onto his cheek feeling the stinging pain from her slap. "What in the devil are you doing Merlin? You may able to do that with Arthur, but you cannot just rush into my chambers like a bull!" Merlin began to walk backwards, his legs hitting her table. "Sorry!" Morgana began to laugh, she stood up from the bed and started to walk toward the door. "I must attend to other matters, I'll talk to you later Mae. Merlin." Morgana nodded toward the pained servant, She then turned her attention to Mae and giver her a wink. Mae rolled her eyes and told her to shoo.

Merlin and Mae watched Morgana shut the door behind her, then turning their attention to each other. Mae frowned noticing the red spot forming on Merlin cheek. "Here, let me." She grabbed a hold of Merlin's hand and they made there way toward her bed, they sat. "I'm not sure this is such a good idea." Merlin cleared his throat making his adams apple bob up and down. Mae rolled her eyes again, "No one is going to come in without knocking first, unlike some people." Merlin sighed, "I know, I have a bad habit of doing that." Mae smiled, staring into his eyes. "It's alright. I may have overreacted a bit. I'm going to try something that I haven't before. So I'm sorry if I mess it up. The other night, I had taken one of the books with me, It was a book full of healing magic. So I read a little bit of it." Merlin stiffened, "So I'm supposed to be some sort of test subject." Mae giggled, "Yes, now hold still. I need to concentrate." Merlin relaxed and dared not move. He looked to her as she brought her hand up to his cheek, laying the palm on it. Merlin closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the warmth coming off it. It made him happy to feel her touch him. Mae was nervous to say the least, and it wasn't because she was testing her abilities, it was because she was touch Merlin. She felt the roughness of his slightly stubble on her hand, and as weird as it was it made her heart race. She shook some rather uncomfortable thoughts from her head and began to concentrate on this healing spell, "hælan" She felt a warmth give off her hand, Merlin gasped feeling it against his skin. Mae opened her eyes just as Merlin did, watching her hand glow for a moment and suddenly stop. Merlin seemed surprised as he stopped feeling the stinging sensation. Mae removed her hand and leaned toward him, looking at his no longer red cheek. She jumped from her bed with a squeal, "Yes! I did it! That was amazing!" Merlin began to laugh and stood up, watching her face light up. He loved seeing her so happy, She was so much brighter when she smiled. He wished he could always keep a smile on her face. Merlin stood and walked to her, "It's as if you never hit me." Mae laughed and jumped into his arms, hugging him tightly to her. He wrapped his arms around her and was hugging her just as tight.

They stood there holding each other in their arms, Mae breathed in Merlin's scent, smelling of sweat and fresh herbs. Merlin buried his face into her hair, taking in the smell of lavender and spice. In a haze Mae looked to Merlin, her heart pounding in her chest feeling it might explode. His blue eyes locked into hers, and in a swift moment, their lips met. His lips so soft. Their bodies touching as they kiss, Mae wrapped her arms around his neck. Merlin held her tightly as if trying to meld their bodies together. They break apart, both panting looking at one another. "Merlin, I-" A loud pounding at the door made them spread apart from each other, they both look toward the door as they heard Arthur yelling for Mae. Merlin and Mae looking to each other with wide eyes. Trying to settle her beating heart she nodded to Merlin, he nods back. "Come in!"

Arthur walked in, eyeing both Merlin and Mae. Both red as tomatoes. He furrowed his brow, a frown showing upon his face. Mae speaks up, adjusting her dress. "Yes Arthur, can I help you with something?" Arthur stayed quiet, still leering at them both. "Merlin, what are you doing here?" Merlin began to fidget, he looked to Mae and then to Arthur. "Uh, well you see.." Mae steps in and smiles, "He was just coming to see if I was alright." Arthur narrowed his eyes at the fidgeting servant. Mae turns her attention to Merlin, "I am quite alright, Thank you so much for coming to check up on me." Merlin bowed, "Your welcome my lady." Then he dashed out as fast as he could, slamming the door as he went. Mae walked toward her vanity and sat down. Grabbing a brush she began to run it through her hair. Trying to appear as if her heart wasn't racing a mile a minute, "As I said, can I help you with something Brother." Arthur sighed and walked over to her."Look, I wanted to come and apologize about earlier. I've thought about what you had said. I just wanted to let you know it will take time." Mae gently set her brush down and quickly made her way to her brother, giving him a hug. "It's alright Arthur, I understand. I shouldn't have gotten so angry with you." Arthur smiled and hugged his sister back. Mae stepped away and smiled.

A soft knock was heard on her door, "Come in." Arthur and Mae turn to look at who was at the door. Robyn, with a tray of food and a pitcher of water, comes walking through. "Hello Mae..I mean, my lady." Mae chuckles, "It's alright Robyn, Is that my dinner?" Robyn smiles and nods slightly, her red hair falling onto her shoulders, "It is." Robyn made her way to the table and gently set down the steaming tray. "Thank you Robyn, you can go for the rest of the night. Just take care of everything in the morning alright?" Robyn beamed, "Thank you!" Robyn began to leave before she could Mae grabbed a roll of her dinner tray and threw it toward her maidservant, "Here, I'm sure you're dreadfully hungry." Robyn smiled and left. Arthur watched the exchange, it seems that every time they are together he always learns something new about his sister. "That was nice of you." Mae shrugged, "She serves me, might as well let her eat some of whatever I have. Can't have my friends dropping because they are hungry." Arthur raised an eyebrow, "Friend?" Mae smiled, "Yes she is. You can't have your people hating you. It's not good for the kingdom to fear who rule it." Arthur nods, it made sense to him. He has never liked the way his father had run things. Trying to tell him that was an awful idea.

"Arthur?" He peeked at his sister, "What is it?" Mae sat down on her bed and looked at her brother. "Do you ever stop seeing them?" Arthur furrowed his brow, "Stop seeing who?" Mae bit the inside of her cheek. "The people you've killed?" Arthur stopped breathing, his palms sweaty, he had forgotten that Mae had killed that bandit. Arthur made is way to her, getting on one knee and grabbing her hands into hers. "I'm not going to lie to you and say everything is going to be alright. I do see them sometimes in my dreams. It's important for you to know that, you had to do what you had to do. I'm sorry that you had to do that Mae, I wish it would have never happened. I am here for you if you ever want to talk about it. I will do everything in my power to help you with this." Mae felt a clump in the back of her throat, tears threatening to come out. "Th-Thank you Arthur." Mae squeezed his hands and he squeezed back. "You eat your dinner alright and get some sleep. I'm going to find out if that bumbling idiot of a servant has gotten mine." Mae laughed, "You're to hard on him Arthur." Arthur rolled his eyes, "Don't worry, it's all good fun." Mae smiled, "Yeah maybe for you." Arthur laughed out loud, "I never said it was for him."

The moon was high in the sky, stars glittering a peaceful night. Merlin could see it all from his window. His thoughts kept going back to what had happened with Mae in her chambers. He could still feel her lips lightly touching his. They felt so soft against his, and the way her magic felt against his skin was unbelievable. He's never felt anything like it. Suddenly, a giant wave of magic fills the air, a loud scream ringing in his head. He clasps his hands onto his ears, trying to deafen the sound. He then realises that he's hearing Mae scream in his mind. He quickly puts his boots on, and races toward her chambers. Once he gets there he swings open the door and notices Mae tossing and turning, not making a sound. Her magic is running wild around her. "Please no, god please. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." She kept on repeated that same line. His heart was breaking for her, she was having a nightmare. And He could guess on why. He reaches her bed and gently shakes her arm. It seemed to be getting worse, items were levitating around her. He grabs onto her arm and closes his eyes, "áwæcnian sweofet" He opens his golden eyes, Mae springs forward and the items that were floating now fall onto the floor. Making them both jump, "What's going on? Merlin, is that you?" Merlin smiles, Mae starts to freak out and quickly covers herself up. Merlin lets go of her arm and steps back for a moment, "I felt your magic, and you kinda were screaming in my head. I had to come see if you were alright. When I got here, you were having a nightmare. Your magic was running wild. So I used a spell to wake you up. I'm glad that it worked." Merlin looked to Mae, it seemed what he said to her went through one ear and out the other. She was just sitting and staring into nothing. Merlin held onto her hand and squeezed it. "Mae, What is wrong?" Mae turned her head and looked straight into Merlin's eyes, tears starting to stream down her face. "Merlin, I keep seeing his face. I keep seeing myself killing that man. Over and over again. I can't get him out of my head." Mae choked through her words, grinding her teeth together. Merlin pulled her into him, she buried her head into his chest and started to cry. They sat like that for a while, until finally Merlin started to hear Mae snoring. Merlin gently lays her back, moving her hair from her face. Merlin watched her for a while, hoping her nightmares wouldn't start again. She started to roll around in her sleep, face scrunching in pain. Merlin placed a hand on her head and whispered "friðuþéawas" Mae started to calm down, only her soft snoring was heard in her room. Satisfied, Merlin made his way back to his chambers.

Early in the morning after Mae had eaten her meal, she decided to make her way to see Gaius. On her way there she was stopped by Morgana, "Lord in heaven, are you alright Mae?" Mae grimaced, "I have not been feeling well since I have woken up. I was actually on my way to see Gaius, see if he can help me." Morgana smiled and softly brushed her cheek with her thumb. "It's going to be alright, Mae." Mae smiled at her friend. They both nodded to each other and went there separate ways. "Gaius -" Mae opens the physicians chambers, only to see Merlin standing in front of the table grinding some herbs. Merlin looks up and sees Mae standing in the doorway. "Well come on in." Mae's breath catches in her throat, she nods fastly and quickly closes the door. When she finally calmed herself down, "I, Um have come to see Gaius. Do you know where he is?" Merlin side smiles and continues to grind some herbs, "He's in the lower town this morning. There seems to be some sort of sickness spreading and he's been taken care of as many people as he can." Mae nodded, "Well then, I am just going to go then and I'll stop by later." Mae slightly smiled at Merlin and tried to make her escape. All her thoughts were of him as soon as she saw him. Standing there with all his tallness and handsomeness. Damn that man. And his cheekbones. Before she was able to leave, Merlin grabbed her by the wrist. Turning her around, she stared up at him, and he stared down to her. "About the other night-" Mae froze, please don't talk about the kiss, please don't talk about the kiss. Her eyes pleading him to not mention that. Merlin started to rub his fingers against her skin, she sighed feeling this. "Merlin" She breathed out, her eyes boring into his. " I wanted to know how you were feeling? You gave me quite the scare. I hope you got enough rest after what happened. With your nightmares." Mae froze again, then she busted out laughing. Merlin seemed flabbergasted at her burst of laughter. When she finally stopped, she nodded. "Yes I am fine, I wanted to thank you for helping me." Merlin smiled and nodded. "It was my pleasure." Before Mae left, she had been meaning to tell Merlin that she told Morgana about her magic. Maybe this would be a good time.

"Merlin there is something that I had been meaning to tell you." Merlin perked up, "I may have sort of told Morgana that I have magic." Merlin's stomach dropped, she what? "What?!" Mae chuckled nervously, "Uh, well you see. I had told her when Morgause came around. She was talking about how she was having nightmares and such. I knew Morgana was a seer, and I didn't want her to feel alone. Besides, Morgause will try to use her. I want her to feel that she can talk to me about anything. It's not like she's going to say something to Arthur or my father. I trust her Merlin. I think you should trust her too." All Merlin could think about was what the dragon said. She should not be trusted, neither should Mordred. But he did often wonder what if he could trust her? Would that help her onto the right path, instead of isolating her? "I want you to think about it. You don't have to tell her if you feel uncomfortable about it. We can still practice our magic together, but i will also be doing it with her. I just felt like you should know." Merlin says nothing, Mae frowns. "Please tell Gaius I've been looking for him." Merlin nods blankly, Mae leaves.

"I'm so sorry for being so late, Merlin. I didn't realize that this sickness had spread through most of the lower town." As Gaius walks in, he notices that Merlin had not heard a single thing that he had said. "Merlin?" Merlin awkwardly stood up, "Yes?" Gaius furrowed his brows, "Whats wrong my boy?" Merlin cleared his throat and started to smash more herbs as his mentor walked toward him. "Nothing's wrong, why would there be anything wrong? Everything is just fine!" Merlin spoke fast, Gaius didn't seem convinced. "Are you going to tell me, or should I just guess?" Merlin dropped what he was doing and moved toward Gaius, "Mae came around, she told me that she told Morgana that she has magic!" Gaius lips formed into a thin line, furrowing his brows. "She said that she knew Morgana was a seer, and that she shouldn't be alone in it. She also said that I should tell Morgana about my magic." Gaius sat at their table and nodded, "I can understand Mae's reasoning about that. I had my suspicions about Morgana, Maybe what Mae did was the right thing. Just think about it Merlin, what do you think would happen to Morgana if she did end up feeling isolated? Let's be glad that Mae is her friend and not someone who could take advantage of her. And as for telling her about you, that's a decision you're going to have to make on your own." Merlin looked to his mentor/ father figure, Maybe he was right. Maybe it's a risk worth taking.