I know it's been awhile, but I've been finding it hard to juggle university, home life, friends and exams etc. Yes, life is busy. Very busy. In other news, I'm being published by the University of Reading, and it's launched next week. I have two poems and one prose due to come out, so I'm very happy :) Anyway, like always, enjoy:

I haven't been to work for a few weeks now. Lester usually emails me any work he wants doing, but apart from that I don't really do much. I can't really. He's worried about Helen (we all are, but y'know) and is a little unnerved that no-one's seen her at all since our incident. She's probably gone through an anomaly to do another eight years of soul-searching… I can only hope.

Personally, I don't really care anymore. I spoke to mum the other day, just to get a sense of normality back in my life, and it struck me that if I'm going to die, then I'm going to die. You can hole yourself up in a cave your whole life terrified you might get stabbed or something, and know you'll be relatively safe, but is that life really worth living?

Ehh… that sounded better in my head, but regardless, it's made me feel a bit better about the whole thing. At least I get to work from home (well, a home) without the nuisance of other people clamouring for my attention on this form, or that spreadsheet yaddah yaddah yaddah. Oh yeah, and I don't get chased by carnivorous dinosaurs and the like. That's a bonus I guess.

I'm sitting on my bed reading the newspaper, contemplating my own mortality, when I hear a key turn in the lock. I hear Lester in the hallway, muttering to himself, before the door slams closed.

"Claudia?"

"In here."

The bedroom door opens a little, and he partly leans into the room, "Did you get my email from Grace?"

"Yes. I called her up asked what was happening, but y'know, she gave me the usual guff. So no, the plans haven't been approved yet. I'm calling up again tomorrow to see if I can get to the bottom of it, but it's not looking likely."

"Any word on funding?"

"They're not happy about discussing funding without approved plans."

"So we're literally waiting on Grace?"

"Looks like it."

"Damn." He says.

"Yeah."

"Oh well. I picked up some Chinese if you're hungry?"

"Oooh. Did you get shredded chilli be-"

"Yes, yes, I remembered."

"How much do I owe you?" I said, unfolding my legs and following him into the kitchen/diner.

"A tenner should cover it."

XXX

We talked for a bit about the plans and Grace as we ate, occasionally drifting off into silence. Our conversations weren't always work-orientated – really, we'd managed to cross a bit of a barrier between us. Not that there was anything ever awkward between us as individuals, but there's always that awkward aspect of a boss/employee relationship (or at least, I've found) that's hard to overcome when the situation requires professionalism in a rather personalised environment. It doesn't feel that awkward living in my boss's weekday apartment anymore – well, I tell a lie, it can be awkward when certain situations arise, but for the most part, we get along. Sometimes Lester talks about his wife and kids, and what they've been up to, and we laugh over some of the silly things. It helps, seeing him as a husband and father – it opens up a different aspect of his personality that I actually quite like. Maybe if he was more relaxed around everyone else he wouldn't get so much stick. He can be a dick sometimes though, especially with his sarcasm, but I've found that's more of a front more than anything. He's probably never like that with his family.

"How's the team?"

He looks up from his chicken chow mein, and sits back in his chair, "They're okay. They get on with the job for the most part…. And Cutter, well, I can't believe I'm going to say this, but he's really being quite awkward. I didn't even know he could be anymore obstinate than he already is, but, you know, a year ago dinosaurs were extinct and backwards time travel was televised fiction, so I really shouldn't be surprised."

I eat a spoonful of special fried rice.

"They don't like the temp filling in for you. To be honest, Leek is a weedy little thing, but I think it's more because he won't let them get away with much, if anything. They miss you."

I think I blush, "I miss them too, and the job."

After a moment's pause, he says: "He misses you most."

I meet his eyes, "I know."

"I know it's none of my business, but I've known for a while there's been something…" he avoids my gaze, and makes a vague hand gesture in substitution of words, "… between the two of you, and I don't want it to look like I'm just doing this because it's affecting people and their jobs, because I'm not, but I think the two of you need to work something out. You're not even talking to one another-"

"Sir-"

He holds up a hand to stop me, "I know the two of you were frequently in contact outside of work-"

"It was work related." I know the redness of my cheeks is giving me away.

"And I'm not denying that. But I'm also not going to deny the fact that you are the only one Cutter listens to. He has a deep, professional respect and… affection for you. Irrespective of your personal feelings, you have a good working relationship, and I think that's part of what makes the team work."

"What are you saying?"

He pauses, looks square at me with a blank expression, and says, "I don't know, really. I guess I'm saying you shouldn't let it, or rather, Helen, get between you."

"Professionally?"

"Well… just friendship-wise, I suppose. She's already got Cutter and Hart at each other's throats, and now with you and Cutter… all she needs is to somehow break down the relatively happy dispositions of Sid and Nancy and we're done for."

I instinctively smiled. Sometimes Lester's sarcasm was desperately needed to make the world feel a little less cruel.

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GPR