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Its Tuesday night twenty minutes before eight. I am home, I have not heard from Troy all day so I assume we are still on. I floss and brush my teeth I change out of my suit , put in my black lacy underwear-even though I know know, know that nothing is going to happen- and jeans and a t-shirt, I apply a touch of blush and some lip gloss. I look causal, comfortable, the opposite of how I feel.

At exactly eight, Jack rings my buzzer "You have company" he bellows

"Thanks Jack, Send him up"

Seconds later Troy appears in my doorway in a dark suit with blue shirt, the blue shirt makes his eyes stands out more.

"Your Doorman was smirking at me" he says, as he steps into my apartment and tentatively looking around as if this were his first visit.

"Impossible" I say "That's in your head"

"It's not in my head; I know a smirk when I see one"

"You have a guilty conscience" I say

"I told you already, I don't feel guilty about what we did" He looks steadily into my eyes

I feel myself bring sucked in his gaze, losing my resolve to be a good person, good friend. I look away nervously; ask if he wants something to drink. He says a glass of water would be fine no ice. I am out of bottle water so I run the tap until it comes out cool. I fill glass for each of us and join him on my couch.

He takes several big gulps and then puts his glass down on my coffee table. I sip from my glass. I can feel him starting at me, but I don't look back. I keep my eyes straight ahead where my bed is situated- the scene of the Incident. I need to get a proper one- bedroom or at least a screen to separate my sleeping room from the rest of the apartment.

"Gabi" he says "Look at me"

I glance at him and then down at my coffee table.

He puts his hand on my chin and turns my face towards his, I feel myself blush but don't move away "What?" I release a nervous laugh. He doesn't change expression.

"Gabi"

"What?"

"We have a problem"

"We do?"

"A major problem"

He leans forward, his arm draped along the back of the sofa. He kisses me softly and then more urgently. And If I thought Chad was a good kisser or Nicky before him, or anyone else for that matter, I tought I was wrong in comparison, everyone else was merely competent. This kiss from Troy makes the room spin. And this time is not from the booze. This kiss is like the kiss I have read about, seen in the movies. The one I wasn't sure existed in real life. I never felt this way before. Fireworks and all.

We kiss for a long time, not breaking away once. Not even shifting positions on my couch even though we are at an unnatural distance for such intense kiss. I can't speak for him, but I know why I don't move, I don't want to it to end, don't want the next awkward stage to come where we might ask the question about what are we doing. I didn't want to talk about Sharpay, to even hear her name. She has nothing to do with this moment. Nothing this kiss stands on its own. It is removed from time or circumstance or their October wedding. This is what I tell myself, when Troy finally breaks away, is only to move closer to me and put his arms around me and whisper in my ear "I can't stop thinking about you"

I can't stop either

But I can control what I'm doing, there is emotion and the, there is what you do about it. I pull away, but not too far away and shake my head.

"What?" he asks gently, his arms partially around me. "We shouldn't be doing this" I say, It is a watered down protest, but at least it is something.

Sharpay can be annoying, controlling but she is my friend. I am a good friend. A good person, this isn't who I am I must stop, I won't know myself if I don't stop.

Yet I don't move away. Instead I wait to be convinced otherwise, hoping he will talk to me into it and sure enough

"Yes we should" he says Troy's words are sure. No second guessing, doubts, worry. Hr holds my face in his hands and starts intently into my eyes. "We have to"

There is nothing slick in his words, He is my friend, the friend I knew and cared before Sharpay ever met him. Why didn't I recognize my feeling sooner? Why did I put Sharpay interest ahead of my own? Troy leans in and kiss me again softly with a sense of absolute certainty.

But this is wrong I silently protest, knowing that I am too late, that I have already surrendered. We have crossed a new line together because even though we have already slept together, that didn't really count, we were drunk reckless. Nothing really happened until this kiss today.

That all changed now, for better for worse

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Many are asking about my story Frontline, I hope to post it soon, if fanfic will let me

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Haribo xxx