Disclaimer: Becky and I do not own anything Twilight. We only love to play with them as much as we please. Please see my A/N at the end of this chapter to see this chapters Rec's.

Brandi

Tarnished Gosling

Chapter 11 Fresh wounds and Fresh starts

EPOV

I waited patiently while Bella was being released from the hospital. The bruises on her face seemed to be fading, and she didn't look to be too sore from her ribs. The cut was still bandaged down her arm; it seems Bella is on the mend. Well her body anyway. I looked into her eyes the brief moment that she looked at me. I saw the vacancy, a hollow shell. I could tell she wasn't happy about this situation so I tried my best to relieve the four hundred pound elephant that was sucking up all the oxygen in the room.

"Bella" I said quietly

"Yes, Edward?" She replied.

"Thank you for taking me up on this offer. I know that this situation is really hard for you, and I really do wish that you did not have to go through all of this, but I have a feeling things are going to get a whole lot better for you from now on." I said wringing my hands, wondering what the hell is wrong with me. This isn't me, I'm Edward Cullen; owner of Volturi the hottest night club around. I am strong, fast, and confident. Not shy weak and vulnerable. Bella is just a girl "who are you kidding hot shot?" OK scratch that, she is more than just a girl, she is the woman of my dreams, the one whom I want to spend the rest of my life with, I can't shake thinking about her, the way she smiles, or smells "oh my god her smell" her fighting for what she believes in. She is my everything. I will however not let her know that, I cannot. First I must make her safe "apartment ready to go. Check" then, oh who am I kidding she isn't going to want me. "sigh"

I loaded Bella and all her get well soon gifts into my Volvo, slid into the driver seat feeling more nervous than death row inmate wanting a stay of execution. I flipped through my IPod and turned on my favorite rock playlist, knowing I would soon be able to get lost in the lyrics of someone who can put words to their feelings better than I can at this moment. Driving to the apartment, I stole glances of Bella, watching her, her aroma filling my car, her nervous shifting and she is seriously going to kill me if she doesn't stop biting that bottom lip. Ugg my problems are big enough that I don't need to add a nice tent that is so hard and large that a family of five could camp under it. Think unpleasant things. Ummm Jazz in thong underwear tipping his hat at me.. ACK that did it! Note to self; thank Jazz but don't tell him why. I begin to think about I am going to approach being in Bella's life other than her boss, and her landlord, I want her to see me as a man, a man that could love her "Love doesn't happen to men like you" I run my hand through my hair that is an obvious mess, and think to myself "Love may not happen to men like me, but I can love her from a distance, I have for years, that doesn't have to change right? I can still love her and make her smile and her not know or reject me right?" At that moment, Operation Heal My Gosling launched into a full scale attack, grinning to myself knowing that I could do things to make her head whirl with pleasure, fun and delight and that is without laying a single hand on her. Although touching, kissing, feeling "CULLEN!"

We pulled up to the apartment building; turning to her I noticed her looking down and so unsure.

"Bella" I said taking my finger lifting her chin to look at me.

"You have nothing to fear here. I have state of the art security, alarms throughout your apartment, a panic button in several rooms being your bedroom and the bathroom as well as in the kitchen. There is plenty of room for you to roam around the complex when you feel up to taking a stroll outside, and a gym that you have to have the code to get into. Only myself and a few others that live here in the building has that code, so you can work out or go for a swim in the pool with no fear ok Bella? I promised Heidi that I would keep you safe; far from harm and help you get on your own two feet Bella. I understand that what you have been through has been extremely painful both physically and emotionally. I would love to help you Bella, be here for you no matter what you need. I am a great listener and I would really love to hear your story. I won't push you to talk to me Bella ok, just know that I am here for you and when you're ready you can talk to me, no matter what it is about. I have a strange obsession with wanting to know what the weather is outside"

A tiny giggle slipped her beautiful lips and she nodded her head. I starred at her hoping and praying to anyone who would listen that those tears that threatened to make haste down her cheeks wouldn't slip and fall. A few tears began to streak her beautiful blushed cheeks that I quickly took away with my thumb.

" Come on Bella, let's get you into your new home."

I gathered all of Bella's gifts, flowers, and balloons and headed up the walk to the where we were going to be living for hopefully was going to be in my mind forever. I got to the door and unlocked it. I quickly punched in the code and handed Bella the keys, I hope she doesn't realize the meaning of the code that I set for the alarm.

"Bella, you have forty five seconds from the time that you enter the door to come over here and punch in the number 072208, the alarm will then disarm and you will see this green light ok." Biting her lip she quietly nods her head while staring at the floors. I walk into the kitchen that is off to the left after you walk into the entry way and I heard a small gasp.

"Bella are you ok?"

I turn to her and see the tears welling in her eyes as she surveys the kitchen. She walks over and runs her hand across the granite tops of the bar. Pivoting on her left foot she sees the stainless steel refrigerator and stove. The oak cabinets, that are nicely veneered and the window above the sink that looks out facing the St. Louis Arch.

"Edward" she whispers so faint that I can barely hear her. She spins around to face me, tears running down her face, her eyes turning red and swollen. "I can't possibly take this, this kitchen alone is worth more than I have ever made at any job I have ever had, and I haven't even seen the rest of the place. Don't get me wrong Edward, this kitchen is a dream, I love to cook and there is so much space, but this, this is more than I can possibly accept."

I place my finger upon her lips silencing her silly rant. "Bella!" I spit out almost with contempt. Fear crosses her face and she begins to step deeper into the kitchen.

Shit Cullen send out reinforcements cause you just FUCKED UP! You cannot talk to gosling this way. NOPE she was just released from the hospital from the clutches of an animal.

I soften my look, tilt my head, and flash a smile; I try again, even though this woman has just insulted my generosity stating she doesn't deserve nice things.

"Bella, listen, I understand that this may look like something that you normally could not afford, but I assure you. One, this property here is paid off, which affords me the ability to offer it to you at next to nothing rent. Two, not only do you deserve this; I want you to know you deserve this. I don't know exactly what happened to you Bella but trust me when I say that you deserve to feel safe, you deserve to feel like this is your home, and you deserve this to be your home. Understand?" Looking at her, wishing I could take her pain and place it somewhere that is deserving of this kind of pain. I slowly grab her hand and I begin to show her the rest of her new home. She marvels at the view, and the wooden floors beneath her feet. More tears make their appearance when she enters the bathroom.

"Edward is that a Jacuzzi tub in my bathroom? " She asks with a smile so wide, and bright, had I not known the cause I would have sworn that the sun had descended in the bathroom and lit it up for all to see. I nod my head yes as she bolts over to get a closer look.

"For all that is green and holy Edward, this tub is huge. You can fit at least five people in here. "She states.

Feeling very proud, having been the one that caused my gosling to shine, even if for a few minutes over something as simple as a bath tub, I begin to show her the extras that this tub has. Not all the tubs in this building have these extras, but for my gosling, I spared no expense when I replaced the tub early this morning.

"Well Bella, this tub, has the jets, that will help soothe any muscle ache that you have, when u lean back here there is a crook just for your head so you're not risking hurting your neck, and there is a heater in the walls of this tub that will help keep the water very warm. There is also a pump here that is full of bubble bath if you choose to have one, and over there is where you can keep your shampoo and other things you may need, along with a warmer. Over here on this shelf is the towel heater. Turn this on before you get in the tub, and when you get out your towel will be very warm, and snuggly" Did I just say snuggly. Yep I need to turn in my man card.

I can see the wheels turning in her mind thinking that she doesn't deserve anything that she is seeing. Obviously she believes that scum of the earth Black, that she is worthless. I see worry flash across her face, and her eyes become so distance almost like she is recalling a memory. I walk her through the rest of her new home, showing her the guest bedroom, the nice sized dining room completely with an oak table that can seat eight and of course the living room that holds all dreams of any techno geek could ever dream of. But my gosling her focus is not on the new toys that are at her fingers disposal, they are casted out across the courtyard to a patch of unclaimed earth that I have yet to done anything with.

"Edward", she says her body turning toward me, but her eyes glued to the plot of dirt. "What are you going to put there?"

"I haven't decided yet Bella, what do you have in mind?" I ask her closing our distance, seeing my opportunity to smell her delicious strawberry scent, mixed with the scent of Bella that I crave so deeply in my soul, which I know now I will never be able to live without. She is quickly becoming essential in my ability to live, but also testing every limit I have ever set for myself. I know that she will be horrified when she learns of all the truths that have made me who I am today, the real question is, will still want me in her life then?

I see her shoulders begin to shake and a loud sob tears from her chest, as she begins to tell me about her mother Renee.

"My mother died when I was just nine years old. She was on a flight with her new husband Phil who played baseball at the time. The team was hosting a double header and the entire team had already left earlier that day. Well with Renee being Renee, she had convinced Phil to just fly out with the flight only taking three hours and the bus ride with the team taking seven. During the flight she had told Phil that she had a really bad headache. He got her some Tylenol and she took it with a shot of vodka. She never woke up. The doctors said that she had an aneurism. Apparently several months prior to that day, she had been trying how to learn how to wind surf, Renee was always trying new things. Well she had fallen off the board, a wave took the board and it knocked her in the head. She never lost consciousness but the doctors told my dad that it was enough to start a very slow bleed. Being in the air and the different pressures and all that caused everything to accelerate and she basically bled out in her brain while she slept."

"Oh Gos..Bella I am so sorry." I brought her in for a hug feeling her cheeks pressed against my chest, and my arms wrapped around her tiny little torso while she wept. She pulled back from me, making a quick swipe with the back of her hand to clear away the tears, wincing under the pain from the bruises that are still not all healed on her face.

"My mother loved all kinds of flowers. Lilies where her absolute favorite. She always found a way to plant a whole bunch no matter where she lived. So Edward do you mind if I plant some flowers over there on that mound of dirt?"

"Sure Bella, if that will make you happy, you can plant a garden, roses, a tree or a bush as long as it helps you call here home, you do it ok?" I lightly kiss the top of her head, and rub her back.

Our morning quickly led into the evening. I wanted to make sure that Bella was comfortable so I had told Emmett to make sure that he introduces himself to her the second that he got home tonight before his shift so she didn't freak out about a huge burly man cruising through the courtyard. I was able to talk Bella into letting me order some Chinese for dinner.

There was a knock at the door and I grabbed my wallet from my back pocket with the intentions of getting rid of the delivery boy before he had any chance of catching a glimpse of Bella. The fewer people that know where gosling is living the safer she is. I finally got her to take a shower once I showed her that she had two shower heads and the tiles where all heated so she would never be cold. I think the two shower heads is what sold the idea. Chuckling to myself at the look on her sweet face when I said two shower heads was absolutely adorable. She is so easy to please. How could anyone want to hurt someone so precious is just beyond my own comprehension.

Emmett in all his loudness, as soon as I opened up the door .

"What's up E? Where is that fine little lady that is now one of my neighbors?"

"She is in the shower Em, and for Christ sake do you have to be so fucking loud?"

"oooo E, and early evening romp, huh buddy?" waggling his eyebrows at me.

"No, you GOON she has been in the hospital for a little over a week, remember she is the one that Black went all ape on?"

"Ahh, right I remember, I heard Heidi talking about that douche nozzle the other night, has he been caught man?"

Dropping my head into my hand and sighing out loud, I look up at one of the men that I could trust my very life with.

"Not yet, Em we have to do something about this. I am not going to go into any details, not here and not now, but I will tell you Em, if anything and I mean anything happens to that woman that is in that shower, I swear to you if Black ever touches a single hair on her head he will wish that his parents had never even met in order to fuck to become more than wet dream that resulted in his birth instead of being a stain on his mothers ass cheek from having to sleep in the wet spot." I spat with conviction.

"Whoa slow down there E, I will help you hunt this piece of shit down man, but fuck dude…"

A knock at the door signaling the arrival of dinner snapped me out of all the torture scenes that my mind had playing on a loop of the things that I so wish I could do to Jacob Black. He will wish that he had never ever touched her. I paid the kid that delivered dinner, went into the kitchen sitting all the bags down.

Bella came out of her bedroom with a strange look in her eyes.

"Bella are you ok? Did you enjoy your shower?" I ask while pulling out two plates from the cabinet.

Instead of answering me, she looked dead at Emmett.

"Edward, who is this?"

"Oh shit, gos..Bella, I'm sorry this is Emmett. He lives here in the building right next door to you, and he also is one of the bouncers at Volturi."

She looks up at Emmett and extends her arm giving him her hand.

"Very nice to meet you Emmett, I am looking forward to working with you."

"It is my pleasure to meet you too Bella, I hope that E here has been a good boy and helping you get comfortable here?"

Bella giggled and walked back to the bar. Taking a chair she looked at me, again with a really strange look. I really wish I knew what was going on in her mind. I haven't been able to get a read on her ever. In all the times no matter how brief our meeting, I have never been able to crack the puzzle of the mind of Bella Swan

"Well you two, I am gonna bounce, I have some weights to lift before I head over to Volturi. E, are you coming in tonight? Ya know Aro is going to try to not be in uniform if you are not there to keep his ass in check?"

"No, Em, I am not going to be in tonight, I already gave Jasper instructions on what to do to Aro if he doesn't comply. But hey, check in with me in a few hours will ya and if he is being his usual cock sucking self, then I will come down for a few minutes to deal with him ok."

"Sure thing E."

I sat down with Bella to eat dinner. I grabbed a bottle out of my pocket, snagged a pill and popped it swallowing without any water.

"what are you taking Edward?"

Not realizing that she was watching me, I cleared my throat.

"Um, well I have a problem digesting food, I lack the ability to create pepsin in my stomach which helps break down and digest food. My father Carlisle has been able to create this enzyme so I am not confined to a liquid diet so to speak." Giving her a small smile, we ate dinner in relative silence.

After dinner I quickly cleaned up the dishes and walked into the living room to give Bella her medication. She hadn't taken any of her pain pills since we left the hospital she was bound to be hurting by now. I saw Bella suffering in silence as I handed her the pain pills my mother sent home with her.

"Bella, you have had a really long day, and you are still healing, you should go to bed. I will be right across the hall if you need anything. I also programmed my number into your cell which is on the counter in the kitchen ok. "

"Thank you Edward, that is very nice of you. Thank you so much for taking care of me today. Don't worry I am sure a good night's sleep and more time in that wonderful shower I will be right as rain. Ok, no need to go hover, I will be fine."

"Ok Bella."

I go back to my apartment with a nagging feeling that gosling may have heard some of my conversation with Emmett, but I am not positive. Shit she is going think I am a caveman or some shit. I stroll into my study and decide to get some work done. I grab my phone and quickly fire off a text to gosling reminding her to set her alarm. Having gosling across the hall is going to be harder than I thought.

A/N: First I want to thank all of you that have read up to this point so far. Those of you that have put Tarnished on alert and have left a review Becky and I thank you, you really are the best.

This Chapters rec's are:

Almost Doesnt Count by Mrs. Robward.. This story is Amazing.. I read it in a straight shot and it owned me the entire time. The Opposite POV Horseshoes and Handgrandes is just as equally awesome. I do sent a tissue warning when reading this story, the emotion that is involved when reading this is super intense. Had me blubbering like a 4 year old who lost her woobie. A definate MUST READ!

Uncomfortable Truce by Chase Corin. This story I can not say enough about. Chase is an amazing writer that has a never ending supply of imagination. Current chapers are numbered at 207 but it is well worth the time, and you will fall in love with each and every character. Cannon pairings are there but some are surprising along with the twists and turns that Chase offers on her tale. Another MUST READ.

The Hostage by Ebalways.. This woman amazes me on just how much a cliff hanger can really upset a weekend. Also the author of Near You Always, I have been in her writting clutches since midway through NYA. I marvel at her intellect and she written word inspires and truly makes the characters come alive right in your own minds eye.

Let's get Physical by Lalina.. this is her new story of trainerward, and wowsers is he ever HOT! Lalina also wrote The Sacrifical Lamb and The Lion and the Jackal. All three have had my utmost attention.

I hope that you have enjoyed Tarnished and will continue to read. Please review, let me know your thoughts. If you have any questions please PM me and I will answer. All Reviews will get a teaser.