I'll be honest here, I'm not quite sure about this part. I think it stems from the fact that Bella isn't quite sure about the date, and I tried to convey that to the best of my ability, and it just left ME confused. Your comments are especially welcome, in any case.

Twilight, Stephenie Meyer, they belong together (I hate repeating myself).

Eleven – Bella

I had no idea what I was doing.

When I'd left the Uleys' after dinner and decided to go over to Jake's, I hadn't had a plan. My conversation with Emily had brought up still more questions, still more things to think about, but I knew I couldn't leave things as they were with Jacob. I missed him, plain and simple. So I needed to forgive him, even if I didn't think I'd forget quite so soon.

I had no idea what to say past "Hey Jake" though, and when he didn't take my overture for mindless chitchat about the Rabbit, I was stomped. Luckily, Jacob had always been one not to beat around the bush, and when he asked why I was there, I told him the honest truth: I was miserable without him.

He tried to save face a little, I cracked a joke, and just like that, we were back to our usual banter, our teasing, our hugs. It couldn't be healthy, the way I craved contact with his warm skin, the way being in his arms made me feel like nothing else mattered, just for those moments. It was 'safety' and 'belonging', all wrapped into this russet-skinned gorgeous guy I was lucky enough to call my friend. And whom I hadn't treated fairly, even if I had had legitimate reason to.

"I'm sorry Jake. I shouldn't have doubted your friendship, it wasn't fair of me." He looked at me as if I was crazy, but I meant it. "You've been a great friend, my best friend, for what seems like forever, and it just… hurt a lot that you'd keep something like that from me."

"And I'll never apologise enough for that, Bells, I know," he hurriedly replied. "I'm not even sure servitude for life is enough to try to make amends, but I'm hoping it's a start?" He looked like a puppy, all apologetic and downright cute.

"Oh, it's a start…" I teased him – I couldn't let him think he'd get out of it quite so easily after all. And because he also needed to know that it had cut deeply, I took my most serious voice to add: "But just so we're clear, you are never going to lie and keep secrets from me ever again."

"Oh, absolutely," he quickly concurred. "Nothing but brutal honesty from here on out, honey." He was just as serious, I could tell, despite teasing me in the same breath and sticking his tongue out at me. It was enough for me – he hadn't meant to hurt me, he regretted it, and it would never happen again. Plain and simple: just like our friendship.

He made fun of my aversion for surprises and gifts, and it felt like we could really put all this behind us, when he blindsided me by using my demand for honesty to ask me out. I froze. There was no other word for the complete blank my mind became in that moment.

When I finally regained the ability to form words, all I could do was stutter a few incoherent sentences, feeling my face flush in embarrassment, my gaze resolutely fixed on the floor between my feet. The dreams I'd been having, the flush of desire I'd felt when he'd so confidently marched into the pub the other night, the surprising jealousy I had felt at Emily's casual mention of his relationship with Mel – they were confusing, they made me want things I shouldn't, and when he very sincerely declared his love for me and promised there would be no pressure, I found myself agreeing. To a date. With Jake.

This should be repeated: I had no idea what I was doing.

It was getting late and Jake had work in the morning, so I left shortly after that, but my mind was reeling. As soon as I made it home, I almost called to cancel – but then I thought of how disappointed he would be, and I couldn't do it. He had said there would be no pressure; I could do dinner-and-a-movie with my best friend. It wasn't something we had ever done, exactly, but it wasn't worse than, say, moonlit walks on the beach, hand-in-hand.

Except it totally was.

Because I hadn't known he still had such strong feelings for me, because I had thought the flirting was innocent and just a remnant of past infatuation, because I'd been blissfully in love with another man and hadn't thought of Jake that way. But now it was all out in the open, I was single and thus available, I had no idea what these sex dreams I kept having meant, and there was no confusion possible: he'd asked me out on a date and I'd accepted.

That was the first night since I'd found out about Edward's and Jacob's little 'agreement' that I didn't dream of making love with Jacob. It left me no less frustrated, come morning.

I needed to start looking for a job. Charlie hadn't said anything yet, but now that I wasn't going back east or wherever with the Cullens at the end of the summer, it was time to think about my future. Something that I realised I'd been avoiding for a long time, whether because I had thought that I'd be a vampire soon anyway, or that the Cullens would provide for me in some way, for as long as I let them.

By Friday afternoon I was still not sure what a Comparative Literature major from Dartmouth could bring to a community like Forks', but at least going through the classifieds had kept my mind from obsessing about my upcoming date. Jake had called on Thursday night to suggest we meet in Port Angeles so as to save himself the roundtrip; the Rabbit was out of commission for the moment anyway, and he'd been carpooling with Sam and Quil. He'd get ready at their supervisor's house after work, and meet me in front of a great pizza place the guys liked (because the extra-large pies were actually large enough to feed even werewolves). It was fine by me – I didn't want to imagine how Charlie would react to seeing Jake pick me up for the evening; I was afraid he'd start planning our wedding, or something. I hadn't exactly told him about the date, just that I'd be spending the night out, and not to expect me too early. He was having dinner at Sue's and didn't expect to be in at all, himself.

I thought I had myself convinced that it was just another night on the town with my best friend, nothing special, but then I spent nearly an hour deciding what I should wear, and I nearly had a breakdown. It was just Jake, for crying out loud, just pizza and a movie. It didn't matter how I dressed (he had said so himself), and it didn't matter that my hair be particularly shiny. It shouldn't matter because Jake had already seen me at my worst, because he loved me anyway, and because I wasn't actually regarding this as an actual date. Right?

When I realised I was going to be late, I simply put on the first pair of jeans (low-rise) and camisole top (it was red) that fell under my hands and ran out the door. The weather had finally turned, bringing summer to the Olympic Peninsula at last, making a jacket definitely superfluous, but also putting a lot more people than usual on the road, and making me very thankful for the Volvo's air conditioning.

"I'm sorry I'm late," I started apologising the moment I spotted Jake on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant, before his appearance had really registered. "There was traffic, if you can believe it, and–" WOW.

I stuttered to a stop, my feet continuing on by themselves for two more steps until I was right in front of him (it was a miracle I didn't fall flat on my face), my mind going blank for a moment (that was happening at a scarily frequent rate lately). He was casually leaning back against the wall of the building, his jeans-clad legs crossed at the ankles (they were the same dark-wash jeans from the night at the pub, I absent-mindedly noticed), one of his hands in his front pocket, the other holding a single red-tipped yellow rose, his dark-green t-shirt looking like it had been painted on him. And he was smiling, his white teeth showing, his eyes sparkling.

The butterflies in my stomach started tap-dancing. I could delude myself all I wanted, Jacob Black was definitely regarding this as a date.

"It's okay," he said, and for a moment I had no idea what he was replying to. "Don't worry about it – I haven't been waiting that long, and we have plenty of time before the movie." He was still smiling that incredibly huge grin, the one that never failed to warm me from the inside out, and I felt myself relaxing a little. Just Jake – no pressure.

"You hungry?" he asked, motioning for me to precede him into the restaurant. I nodded, although I really wasn't sure I could swallow anything right now, and just as I started turning towards the door, Jake took my hand, stopping me with the slightest pressure on my fingers. "Here, this is for you," he said softly, handing me the rose and bending to kiss my cheek in the same motion.

I felt the spot his lips had touched tingle all through the evening.

My nervousness must have shown, because Jake made sure to put me at ease as soon as we sat down in a corner booth. He told me about the Camaro he wanted to buy to replace the Rabbit; the Galaxie, he answered when I asked why he needed another car, was a long-term project, as in 'expensive', and once it was fully restored, there was no way he would drive it to work every day. I told him in no uncertain terms that I thought he was crazy (he kind of agreed). I also told him of my unfruitful search for employment, at which point he started suggesting the most outrageous jobs he could think of, from phone sex operator to human billboard, making me spit out my soft drink through my nose. (That hurt!) Before I knew it, we had eaten a whole extra-large meat lover's pizza (I'd had a slice and a half, he'd gulfed down the rest) and were on our way to the theatre, and it felt normal.

"So what are we seeing?" I asked as we walked down the street. The sun was getting low, but it was still warm enough that I didn't regret not bringing a jacket, and there were a lot of people enjoying the nice weather like us. Jake had kept his promise and taken my hand in his as soon as we'd left the pizza place, but he hadn't made a big show out of it, and it didn't feel any different than the thousands of other times we'd held hands before. In fact, except for the rose I'd managed to clip in my hair over my right ear and the kiss on the cheek I still could kind of feel, Jake had done nothing at all to make the evening seem like anything other than a night out with my friend. I was extremely grateful for it.

"I figured I'd leave the final decision to you, but I narrowed down our choices to an action-comedy, or a romantic-comedy. And just so you know, if you choose the chick flick, I'm reserving the right to sleep through it."

I laughed at him, at the mock-seriousness of his expression, and he graced me with my smile again.

"As long as there aren't any decapitations or other gore, the action movie is fine," I told him, recalling the very first movie we'd seen together, that fateful outing with Mike Newton that had marked the start of Jacob's transformation into a werewolf. With the greasy pizza sharing my stomach with the butterflies that weren't entirely dormant, I was likely to be sick at the sight of too much blood, no matter how fake it looked.

"No gore, I promise," he replied as we came up to the ticket booth. "Paul and Rachel saw it last week, they said it was a good movie."

And it was. Jake and I laughed and exchanged whispered quips all through the show, often snickering at things that weren't even meant to be funny but reminded us of stupid things we'd seen before. I was leaning onto his arm and resting my head on his shoulder, our fingers entwined on his thigh, his thumb tracing slow circles on my hand. I knew that to everyone around us, we looked like a couple; I found that I didn't care.

After the movie, we slowly walked back to my car, not in any hurry for the evening to end, even if we still had an hour-long drive before us. The silence between us was comfortable, broken sporadically by a remembered quote from the movie, making us laugh about it all over again. We took a detour by the waterfront, passing the bench where we had had our discussion last week, but silently agreed not to revisit the topic. The air temperature was still somewhat warm, but the breeze coming from the strait sent shivers down my arms, and Jake put his arm around my shoulders without even thinking about it; it felt as natural for him as it did for me, and the part of me that had been afraid he'd overthink his every move around me now, was relieved. I didn't want him to change, I didn't want our interactions to be careful all the time.

He offered to drive us back, and when the Volvo turned into his gravel driveway, I realised with a pang that I didn't really want to see the evening come to an end.

"I've had a wonderful time tonight, Bells," Jake told me with a grin when we met in front of the car, me walking to the driver's side, him heading for the porch steps. He engulfed me in his arms for his signature bone-crushing hug, chuckling softly when I pretended to be unable to breathe.

"So did I," I truthfully replied when he released me enough that I could look up into his eyes. "Good pizza, good movie, awesome company," I added, smiling.

There was something different in his gaze when he bent down to kiss my forehead, something I couldn't quite identify. "Good," he whispered barely loud enough for me to hear. Then he kissed my cheek again, fingering the rose over my ear slightly before stepping backwards towards the house. "Goodnight, honey," he called out as I slipped behind the wheel. "Drive safe."

As I got ready for bed, half an hour later, I found myself thinking that if tonight was a prime example of what dating Jacob Black entailed, I wouldn't mind a repeat performance.

So? I'm really finding it easier to write through Jacob's POV, so maybe next part will come easier. *shrug*