I hope y'all enjoyed this I love playing with the idea of Roger and Angel
He died on a Monday, 11:48pm to be exact. No one was there but Collins. I'm glad I wasn't there I don't know how I would have handled it, what I would have said, or done. He died in his soul mate's arms the way one should. He died with his heart overflowing with love.
It's all gone now.
I felt hollow, there was no more Angel. How? I saw him the other day and now he's just gone. It was a surreal feeling, worse than April. Harder to understand and cope with.
We had his funeral that Thursday, I arrived at the church early to talk to Collins, I wanted him to know everything. Give him peace of mind that all Angel's suffering was over. He had a right to know everything. Maybe that's why Angel didn't tell him? So after he left there would be stories to tell Collins.I don't know he was so simple yet so complicated.
Collins was talking to the people of the church, probably about how we were going to pay for all of this. I looked at the casket. He's in there. I stepped closer and rested my hand on it.
"Angel," I whispered. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I can't do this anymore. I can't stay in New York, I'm leaving tonight. Losing April, Mimi, and now you it's too much. I have to get away. I wish you were coming with me. All of us our a mess with out you. I keep thinking I'm gonna wake up on your couch and it was all some fucked up drug fueled nightmare. And we're all healthy, I'd take you to Collins right then and there." Tears are flowing freely I don't fight my cracking voice I let it come.
A hand suddenly rests on my shoulder, its Collins. I turn to face him, he isn't crying, and he won't not today. He's going to be strong for Angel. Stronger than all of us.
"I'm sorry I-"
"It's ok" he assures me. "You can see her if you'd like."
I hesitate is this a test? I turn back to the casket and slowly open it just enough to see his face. He looks like he's asleep, he looks beautiful as ever. Dressed in his favorite outfit we've all seen a million times before, you know the one. His wig and make up flawless.
"Wow," was all I could say before breaking down again.
Collins wrapped me into one of his famous bear hugs as I openly sobbed. I have no idea how much time passed before I calmed down.
"I came here to apologize, I wanted to tell you stories about her," I finally choked out. "As long as you aren't still mad."
"I'm a little mad still, but she made me promise no to kill you," he joked.
How could anyone be happy at a time like this?
But still I told him everything, the good, the bad, and the ugly. What drugs she liked, what laws we broke, the romantic nights we had. And at the end of it he still didn't understand, he couldn't wrap his head around why all of the anger and sadness we put each other though could still lead to live and friendship.
I could only shrug it's not something that can be fully explained, only felt.
Mimi walked in I could tell by the look on her face she was hoping to be there first. She looked behind herself, Benny was there holding her coat. Of course. She tried her best to ignore me standing there but I saw he take a quick glance, she threw her arms around Collins. There was a bouquet of flowers in her hand pink orchids... Angel's favorite. A new wave of tears washed over me, she's gone. I tried my best to choke them back I didn't want her or Benny to have the satisfaction of seeing me cry.
I let them talk and took a seat in a random pew, Mark will be here soon. Collins and her talked in low voices so I couldn't hear. Benny didn't bother to say anything he took a seat on the opposite side of the church. Thank god.
Once more people showed up Mimi tried to start a scene with me. She walked up to my seat and stood over me.
"So, what brought you here so early?" She asked.
"I wanted to say good bye and talk to Collins," I said flatly.
"Well, I was her best friend and Collins was her boyfriend, him and I agreed to meet early and have a moment before everyone got here."
"Is that why Benny showed up?"
Her jaw dropped, she scoffed, "Benny has nothing to do with this."
"Then neither did my being here," I shrugged.
"You barely even knew her, why would you have anything to say?"
"You didn't know Angel at all, did you?"
"We were inseparable! She was like my sister." She was raising her voice.
I got up to move my seat, "We were closer than you'll ever know."
I didn't speak to anyone again until the burial, it was the hardest part to watch. He was going to rot in the ground for the rest of time. I have to go, I need to find my song, I need to get away and forget. Forget Mimi, forget April, and forget Angel.
When I got home i quickly loaded my car and took off, I couldn't face Mimi, Mark was wrong. There was only one person who would understand me except for her. I made a detour past her apartment, the lights were still on, like always. She was afraid of the dark. I watched it get smaller and smaller in my rear view mirror, Goodbye love.