Starting Over-Chapter Eleven

Dr. Goodman was finishing up with Amanda, and said,"Everything looks good here- your head is healing as it should-do you have any questions for me before you go?"

Amanda said,"Yes-about my headaches- why am I getting them so often? I thought the pain pills were supposed to take care of that.."

The doctor said,"Well, your head went through a trauma, and it will take time for it to straighten itself out..when you have flashes of memory, does the pain increase or lessen? I ask, because things in the brain get jumbled about, and they're not easily put back into place as quickly as we'd like, which is why we tell patients with head injuries not to push themselves- let things come when they can.."

Amanda nodded,"So, I will get better, but not really when I want to?" Just then, she had a flash of her and Lee on the top of a building, and the only escape was to get on a wrecking ball? Then, she had a flash of Lee and her in a resort, having dinner, and he was overly attentive to her, and she had on a wedding ring?

Dr. Goodman noticed Amanda shaking her head furiously, and said,"Are you all right? Do you need to lie down for a bit?" Amanda said, covering,"No, I'm fine- thank you ,Dr. Goodman- I have a friend picking me up to go to work- that is all right, isn't it- to go back to work?"

The doctor said,"Of course, but if you feel it's too much too soon during the day, then I say, to cut your day short-only work what you're able to-they should understand.."

Amanda came into the waiting area, and Lee was there. He said,"How'd it go?" Amanda said. shrugging,"Ok-can we go now?"

As Lee drove them to the office, he would glance at Amanda every so often, and, finally, not able to stand the silence any longer, said,"Ok- something's wrong-what is it?"

Amanda said,"I don't know what you mean- I'm fine-so, what kind of stuff am I going to file today?"

With that, Lee pulled into Rock Creek Park, which wasn't too far from the Agency, and stopped. Amanda said, looking at him,"What's the matter? Why did we come here?"

Lee said quietly,"Something is bothering you that you don't want to share with me- I don't want to push here, but I gotta say this.. I've been with you this entire time, from the time you went into the hospital, 'til now. I've told you I would help you in any way I can, but it seems like you're pulling away from me-have I said or done something to make you uncomfortable, or make you not trust me any more-?"

Amanda said,"How do you feel about me? And please tell me the truth- I'm trying to remember a lot of things here, and when I remember the two of us, it's confusing mostly, because I don't know what's real, and what isn't. My most recent flashes were just now in the doctor's office, and I couldn't tell him what went through my mind, so I suggest you talk to me-please?"

Lee slowly nodded, and called Billy. "Billy, sorry to do this, but it looks like Amanda isn't up to work today- we'll try again tomorrow, ok? Yeah, ok, thanks..bye.."

Putting the car in reverse, he pulled out of the park, and headed for Georgetown- to his place. When he parked, they got out, and Amanda said,"Where are we?"

Lee said,"My apartment building- I'm on the third floor..c'mon.." He let them in, and he said, going to his bar,"Want a drink?" Amanda said, looking at her watch,"Um, isn't it way too early-?" Lee said, pouring himself a drink, "Not for me, it isn't-you wanted to talk-ladies first-what were your flashes?!"

Amanda sat on the sofa, and sighed,"I'm sorry- I didn't mean to upset you.." Lee sucked down the scotch he poured, and slammed the glass down on the bar! "I'm not-!.." He took a deep breath, and letting it out slowly, he calmed down a bit, saying,"I'm- I'm sorry- I guess this whole thing's bothered me more than I've been able to admit.."

Amanda got up, taking her purse, and said,"I'll see myself out, Lee- and don't worry about getting me to work tomorrow- I'll get a cab.."

But as she got to the door, Lee said," I love you.." Amanda was floored! She turned around, and stammered,"W-what? What did you say?!"

Lee came slowly towards her, and nodded,"Yeah, a day for miracles, right? This guy, this loner of loners, who doesn't let anyone get close enough to him in case he gets hurt, or he hurts her, has actually fallen for someone- I can't believe it either.."

Taking her hand, he said,"Let's sit down.." They sat on the sofa, and Amanda said,"Wow.." Lee said,"Yeah-uh, look, I know you're dealing with your memory loss, and all, but I was afraid that if I didn't say something to you right here, right now, that I probably wouldn't get another chance.. see you've gone through this before, only the last time, you only forgot me and the Agency- not your family.."

Amanda said slowly, "What do we do now?" Lee sighed,"We will go at your pace- whatever you're comfortable with, ok? I didn't spill my guts here to force you to feel something that you're not ready for.."

He continued, saying,"Let's do this- from now on, if you have a flash that involves us, you talk to me-day or night. Your mom thinks we just work together, and that we're friends- let's let her keep thinking that..for now at least, and hey, your family already likes me, so that's a bonus in my book.."

Lee looked at Amanda and said,"So. what do you think?" Amanda got up, letting go of his hand, and said,"I think I'd better go home- I have an awful lot to think about, and I'm still very confused..I'm not pushing you away, but I think I need some time to myself to try to figure things out, ok?"

Lee was shaken, but he understood." Take as much time as you need- call me when you're ready.." He gently hugged her, and called a cab for her, and she left shortly after. It was either the bravest move, or the stupidest. Either way, he'd find out soon enough..

TBC