Author's Note
WARNING: There are scenes of recreational drug use in this chapter. If that is not your beef, do not read on.
So this is probably going to be the last chapter of this story for a long while. I've used up all my jokes, gone through all my inspiration, and come up short. Plus I'm working on Future's End again, so this story and everything else I'm doing takes a back-seat to that. Except my podcast. That's still my baby. No, I'm not abandoning this story, I'm just prioritizing.
Remember I'm doing a podcast? CAB Anime & Gaming, new episodes every second Friday! Find us on iTunes and Soundcloud!
Read, review and Nagaspeed!
Part the Eleventh, or "I used up all my best jokes in previous chapters."
It never ceased to amaze me, back home, that an anime character could climb into another's bed without waking them. Hell, I couldn't get up to pee in the middle of the night without my last girlfriend tearing my head off for waking her up.
So I found it less than amusing, one night after my duel, when I was woken by the sound of my door opening.
I groaned and rolled over, praying to all the deities I could think of that it was just Elle or one of the healers coming to check on me. My hopes were dashed and my prayers unanswered when I felt the edge of my bed shift as someone climbed up.
Dammit, I knew for a fact Naga was real! I mean technically she's not a goddess, but she could at least send some damn luck my way when I prayed!
So then, I wondered as I rolled over in the darkness pretending to be asleep, who was crawling into bed with me? Probably Tharja or Maribelle; both of them had been a little put off at being ignored for a week when I'd gone to my training. It could be Panne, but I doubted she'd come calling for a booty call; she didn't strike me as the subtle kind, either, more the throw open my door and mount me kind of gal. Hell, knowing my luck it was Ricken. And I did not do BL scenes.
They were getting closer now, almost within perfect range of my…
"Nope," I stated, lifting my leg and kicking the visitor bodily onto the floor.
"Eeek!"
I snickered a little, sitting up and lighting the oil lamp on my bedside table. Maribelle glared up at me from the floor, dressed in a rather conservative nightgown. Which was probably scandalous by the medieval-Ylissean standards, but to me it looked like nana-clothes.
"Get lost on the way to your room, did you?" I asked, arching an eyebrow as I grinned.
"O-oh!" she said, jumping to her feet. "I-I thought this was my darling Lissa's room!"
"Uh-huh," I nodded, letting myself flop backwards. "So you snuggle with Lissa, too, do you?"
"End of the hallway, last door on the right," I said with a lazy wave.
"Y-yes, of course, dearest," she said, somewhat mutedly.
I grinned a little to myself as I snuffed the lamp, leaving us laying and standing in darkness, respectively.
"You're not planning on going to Lissa's room, are you?"
"I… er…"
"I'd offer to let you stay, but do you remember what happened last time you tried to snuggle?"
"That Plegian harlot does not frighten me," Maribelle scoffed.
"Well she fucking terrifies me," I said. "And last time this shtick cost me my lodgings. So… out."
Maribelle didn't move, and I sat up again with a sigh and a wince.
"Yes?" I asked, drawing the word out.
"I… as… as a healer I wished to inspect your injuries," she said quickly, clearly grasping at straws.
"Fine," I sighed, lighting the torch again and throwing my sheet off.
I slept in my underwear anyway, so I didn't have to strip down. Maribelle instantly went beet-red, though, clearing her throat and blinking a few times before approaching my bed. I wasn't a cut and chiseled piece of statuesque man-candy like Chrom or Frederick, but I had lost that last persistent bit of weight, and my stomach was mostly flat now. Plus, my chest had always been huge, so I did look kinda big and why am I describing this? Who cares!?
Maribelle removed my bandages with practiced motions, her hands quick and sure. She prodded at the new scar on my side, making me hiss involuntarily. It still hurt like a mother-fucker.
"The last healer tied these on too tight," she said, her voice all business. "But you are healing well."
"Good to know," I said, twisting a little to see how far I could move without searing agony shooting up my side.
Maribelle nodded, leaning close to wrap the linen bandages back around my torso. I was noticing her fingers brushing against me a fair bit more than the other healers' did, but opted to remain silent on the matter. There was something else that was bugging me…
"So you've got nothing to say about my duel?" I asked.
Maribelle's hands froze as she looked up at me. After a moment she went back to work, slower than before.
"It was foolish and improper to fight the duel yourself," she said. "Wilbur was an accomplished swordsman, and also one of the Duke's nephews. He will not simply let matters lie."
I shrugged. I didn't care. I wanted an excuse to kill, or at least depose, the Duke anyway.
"Wilbur was a good man, though," Maribelle went on. "But too rigid. Too blinded by his position and oaths. This was bound to happen sooner or later."
"I'm seeing a lot of that lately," I sighed.
"That is why I entered the clergy to learn healing," Maribelle admitted. "To gain a commoner's perspective. That is why I wish to be a magistrate. To show them that not all nobles are pompous and arrogant fools who do nothing but laze about and count their money."
"You will," I said reassuringly. "Just don't forget why you're doing it."
Maribelle nodded, tying off the bandages and resting a hand on my chest.
"You know, Wilbur once petitioned my father for my hand in marriage," she said, looking away from me. "Father rejected him, saying he was not of high enough stock for such a union."
"And I am?" I snorted.
There was a moment of silence before I sighed.
"Thank you for fixing my bandages," I said, pulling Maribelle into a quick hug and kissing the top of her head. "But now the wounded must rest, so get the hell out of my room."
The noblewoman nodded, rigidly standing and blushing heavily. I laughed a little as I waited for her to leave, before blowing out the lamp and falling back into my bed. I was still uncomfortable with the extra layer on, though, and fidgeted restlessly as I tried to…
A soft, keening screech reached my ears, prompting me to groan and run both hands down my face.
"Tharja get the fuck out!" I growled.
There was a brief shuffling from the corner of my room, and the Dark Mage in question appeared looming over me in the moonlight.
"I want a kiss too!" she hissed.
"Why do you people hate sleep!?" I whined.
A few days after my duel with the late Wilbur my side still ached like a mother-fucker and I now had a lovely scar just below my ribs. He'd gotten me good, I'd give the fucker that much. Practically disemboweled me in the end when I'd twisted to slash his throat, but that was mostly my fault.
According to Lissa the pain was just my body coping with the fact that the injury had been healed so fast and there was nothing to worry about.
But it still fucking hurt.
As I lowered myself into a chair in Chrom's office Ricken reached out to steady me, and I had to resist the urge to smack him off of me.
I still didn't like to be touched.
"Are you sure you're okay, Master?" the young mage asked me.
"Yeah, just a little- of course I'm not okay! I got stabbed! Right here!" I growled, pointing to my flank.
"And you haven't shut up about it since," Chrom said with a grin from the other side of the table.
He, Frederick and I were meeting to discuss the new formal Ylissean Army Corps, and Ricken and Elle were both floating around me like a bad smell. The young mage had been busy catching up on the studies he'd missed at the Mage Academy while he was with the Shepherds until just after my duel, so he'd missed out. And now he wouldn't leave me alone.
"Whatever, let's get to it already so I can go back to sleep," I sighed, laying some papers down on the top of the table. "So, there's a few problems with the current military structure that I'm pretty sure my plan will address. Firstly, we've got a problem with morale. Even when it's high there's still a pretty high desertion rate, and frontline units are too quick to retreat unless a very high-ranking officer is there with them."
"During the war with Plegia our desertion rates were acceptable," Frederick pointed out.
"Even one man deserting is too many," I said, looking at the papers. "Plus, there's a huge problem with the existing command chain. It goes great until you get literally one step down from the two of you."
Chrom and Frederick exchanged a glance.
"What do you mean?" the Prince asked.
"Well, I'm glad you asked like I wasn't going to explain it anyway," I grinned. "This whole 'rank is dictated by bloodline' thing is crap. Too many of the nobles that hold significant rank are inept, and too many of the men that have any actual leadership qualities are dying in the frontlines, wasted because their leaders are fucking useless. Ah, present company excluded, of course. Anyway. It's time for a change."
"I'm almost afraid to ask," Frederick muttered.
"Then shut up and listen, Freddy, because I'm about to take y'all to school here. We need to find the best men with the highest leadership talent and train them to be our commanders instead of the Dukes and their men."
"Th-that's…" Frederick said, honestly shocked.
"How would we do that?" Chrom asked, stroking his chin. "Those men swore oaths to follow their lords, and their lords swore oaths to me. That's how the army works."
"So we cut out the middleman," I said decisively. "We turn the army from conscripts into actual soldiers; you pay those men a wage to train and fight and you'd be amazed at how fast they improve, and just how high their morale shoots."
"Turn the army into a job…" Chrom muttered, rolling the idea over in his mind.
"Right," I nodded, pressing on before Fredrick could interrupt. "Then it's quite simple, really. You're the General, Fredward here and I are your Lieutenants. The Shepherds and whatever else are your headquarters staff, outside of the chain of command and only answering to you. Then we break the army into regiments each led by a Major, who commands the Captains who command the individual squads. There's a lot more ranks we could put in there, but let's start small so we don't confuse people."
"So that puts overall command…" Chrom started.
"With you, yes," I nodded. "When you're not around it'll fall to either me or Frederick, depending who's at the HQ, and so on and so forth. No stupid pissing contests over who's in charge, no mess, no fuss. And before that particular fight starts, yes Frederick, you can be the higher-ranked of the two of us."
Chrom nodded slowly and Frederick gave a satisfied snort.
"However," I added. "We need to be smart about this. If we implement all of this at once we'll probably have a civil war on our hands. Start recruiting, send some guys to every single village to do voluntary recruitment at first and start with the training. Poach their best men so we have something to start off. Then we can slowly oust the nobles and install our own officers, leaving the nobles as figureheads so their pride isn't too hurt."
"That sounds…" Ricken mumbled.
"Exactly like what we already have," Frederick grunted. "We have ranks and we have a hierarchy of command. The only change you speak of is advancing the status of commoners."
"No, I want to introduce a merit-based permanent regular army," I sighed. "With all due respect, Fred-o, your current army structure is outdated and'll end up getting a lot of people killed."
"Yours will cause just as much death!" Frederick snapped, clearly not wanting to argue with me. "If we put untrained and inexperienced men-"
"Which is why we train them and provide the experience!" I said over top of the Knight.
"You would treat the soldiers, proud citizens of Ylisse like mercenaries!?" he retorted.
"Money talks, Frederick," I grunted. "We're not all so high-and-mighty that we don't see the need for cash. A regular man has to feed his family."
I knew he would be my biggest obstacle. Frederick was a product of this world's rigid class-structure to an absolute fault. He embodied everything I was trying to change, which meant if I could convince him I'd be able to convince anybody.
Chrom held up his hands, signaling for us to shut the hell up with a smile on his face.
"You both raise good points," he said evenly. "Ben, I would like to trial your idea. Frederick, prepare riders to go to recruit men from the villages. Make sure they explain that this is for a job, not conscription, and it's entirely voluntary."
"Yes, milord," Frederick said, bowing without a hint of hesitation before leaving the room.
"Ricken," I said over my shoulder. "I need you to do some research. Give me a training regime that would knock the wind out of the hardest knights. Then double it. If Frederick is panting when he finishes it, it's still not hard enough."
"R-right away, master!" the boy squeaked before running off after Frederick.
I snickered, my laugh turning into a wince when I turned back to Chrom and put too much weight on my side.
"Well, you took to that idea better than I thought you would," I commented, leaning back carefully.
Chrom chuckled, shaking his head as he looked at the charts I'd drawn up.
"You have yet to steer me wrong, Ben," he pointed out. "And in theory your ideas make a lot of sense. Is the army structured the same way where you are from?"
I shook my head, jumping a little when a cup of tea appeared in front of me. Chrom glanced up as Elle poured one for him, too.
"Thank you, er…" he mumbled.
"Thundercat," I supplied with a grin.
"What?" Chrom deadpanned.
"Yes and no," I said to answer Chrom's earlier question, ignoring the glare Elle was shooting me. "This is a simplified version of it. The worl- country I'm from has a lot more people, so the army is a lot bigger. There's a lot of itty-bitty little ranks and such that didn't make sense to me, especially on the scale we're operating on. So I decided to omit them. Oh, Thundercat can you bring us some tea biscuits, please?"
"It's… Elle, milord," the maid mumbled, more to Chrom than me as she produced some cookies.
Chrom quirked a brow but said nothing, chuckling a little.
"Well then, that's one problem settled," the Prince sighed, placing the papers down. "Now we just have to survive the victory party this weekend."
"Oh, right, that did get pushed back because of me…" I nodded.
"I should warn you, these things tend to get a little… rowdy," Chrom said.
"Pfft, I've been a teenager, Chrom," I laughed. "I think I can handle a rowdy party or two. But just to be safe… Thundercat! Prepare my finest battle-wear!"
"It's Elle!" the maid practically shrieked, glaring at me. "Milord," she added grudgingly as Chrom almost fell out of his chair laughing.
I shuffled through the palace grounds later that afternoon, an attentive (if yet somewhat brooding) Elle shadowing my every move. She was just as bad as Ricken since I'd been wounded. It was nice to be cared about, but I was an introvert and I did like my space.
As I was considering phony errands to get the maid to leave me alone someone entered the gardens, followed by another someone. It was hard to tell from this distance without my glasses. Miriel wore glasses, didn't she? Maybe I could hit her up for a pair…
I felt my good mood fade faster as the first someone unblurred to become Marth, followed by a tall, lanky boy in mages robes with dark red hair. The same colour as his mother's, evidently.
"Well, that was fast," I commented as Lucina and Laurent approached. "Thundercat, beat it."
"It's Elle!" the maid growled exasperatedly. "And what do you want me to beat?"
"No, that means go away for a little while," I sighed. "Go make cookies. It would please your master."
"If that is your wish, milord," Elle said stiffly as she bowed and left.
Lucina gave me a curious look as Laurent glanced between us.
"Well, Princess, colour me impressed," I said, turning to the mage and holding out my hand. "You must be Laurent. Nice to meet you, kid."
"Indeed," he said with a slight nod as he shook my hand.
"Really?" Lucina asked. "That's it? After the introduction you and I had?"
"What, you want me to sing to him or something?" I laughed. "I can, you know."
"Please don't," Laurent groaned.
"I've been told my singing is quite good, thank you," I huffed theatrically.
"You were lied to," Lucina deadpanned.
My shoulders drooped and I sighed, glaring at the Princess as she gave a victorious grin. I'd let her have this one; she'd done well, so she could have this one.
"I'll cover your room, too," I sighed. "Luce, get him set up in the same inn as you and get him up to speed. Now that you're both here we'll take a break and leave early next week."
"You have been quite cryptic about our next course of action," Lucina pointed out. "Why did I have to meet Laurent? What are you planning?"
"We're going looking for someone," I explained in a low voice. "I'm messing up the timeline by doing it, too. If we succeed. But I think we could use all the help we can get for, well… everything that comes next."
"How do you know all of this?" Lucina asked me, a bit of her old suspicion returning.
I shrugged, instantly regretting the over-exaggerated movement as pain shot up my side.
"Hey, I'm a genius, remember?"
"As am I," Laurent said, stepping forward excitedly. "I have long waited for someone to converse with on my own level!"
I snickered, grinning at the kid. This excitable mage was a far-cry from the dour, brooding man he became after wandering around the same patch of desert for five years. Plus, he was still young.
"The earth revolves around the sun. Let that settle in your mind and tell me what you think," I said.
Laurent's jaw dropped as I turned to Lucina, and as we three casually strolled back the way we had come I could hear Laurent muttering to himself, trying to wrap his head around the concept I'd thrown at him.
"Do not break my friend," Lucina muttered to me.
"He's a smart kid, he'll understand it soon enough," I shrugged. "You two might want to come up with an alias for him though, 'Marth'."
"We will come up with something," Lucina nodded.
We walked on in near silence for a few heartbeats before Lucina threw a glance at me.
"What proof do you have that the earth revolves around the sun?" she asked curiously.
I snorted, laughing at the absurdity of her question.
"I'd love to explain, but my maid is making cookies and I shan't be keeping her waiting. I think I've pissed her off enough for one day. I'll swing by the inn later and get you fully caught up on what's happened in Ylisse while you've been gone."
Lucina nodded, leading Laurent out of the courtyard and I gave a little smirk.
"Just wait til I tell the kid about space-travel," I chuckled to myself.
I let out a low groan as I settled into a chair in the royal library, my side aching like a bitch where I'd gotten stabbed. In front of me were a number of books on actual tactics from this world I was intending on studying while Lucina brought Laurent up to speed on the current situation.
After all, if I was going to play this part I figured I may as well do it properly.
However the biggest reason I was reading these dusty old books was the old saying 'know thy enemy'. I doubted tactics were that different given different dimensions or whatever else I'd crossed, but I didn't think like the people here, something that was becoming more and more apparent. Which meant I had to do some leg-work so that they didn't surprise me. With a deep sigh I flipped open the first book, one that Miriel had assured me was Valmese in origin.
On the table across from me the mage in question, who apparently would sleep in the library if she could, was fiddling with something in a small box as she flipped through the pages of a thick book, occasionally making some notes on the sheets of paper spread around her. It was just like being in the university library back home, watching someone infinitely smarter than me do their work to a much higher quality than I could ever hope to achieve while I flailed about with what I hoped were the right books and tried not to die.
"Oh god why is that making me homesick?" I muttered, shaking my head a little.
Miriel glanced up over the rims of her glasses, frowning at me. However, this little action reminded me of something I'd been meaning to ask her about, and eager to escape studying any way I could I rose and shuffled over to her table.
"Hey, Miriel, can I ask you something?"
"So long as you are expedient about it," she muttered, flipping through more pages.
I glanced curiously at the book she was going through. It was apparently an encyclopedia about various flora. Plants. She seemed to be stuck on identifying some kind of mushroom, judging from the pages she was looking through. The box next to the books was full of…
"Oh my god tell me those are what I think they are," I asked, bending down to inspect the box a little closer.
"Mushrooms," Miriel said in her usual brusque tone. "I was led to believe this particular variety contains an analgesic effect, and I am trying to verify their identity before I begin clinical trials on those soldiers wounded during the campaign."
"If these are what I think they are, they'll do more than just dull pain," I chuckled, picking up one of the mushrooms.
It was a dried-out little greyish-yellow, almost brown mushroom. Totally unassuming in any way. The kind of thing that you'd find on the bark of a lot of trees. Except, and I wasn't entirely one-hundred percent here, they bore a striking resemblance to a certain 'recreational' mushroom from back home. Except they were fucking huge compared to the ones I was used to. At least three times the size. It was so beautiful it almost brought a tear to my eye.
Miriel's quill stopped mid-stroke as she looked up at me, a confused furrow in her brow.
"You… understood my technical terms?" she asked slowly.
"Dropped out of university a year before I wound up in Ylisse," I said absently. "I'm smarter than I act. And these, my dearest scientist, are quite likely a class-one narcotic."
"N-narcotic!?" Miriel recoiled, eyes wide.
"Fascinating…" she breathed, leaning closer to the box again. "How, exactly, does one experience a narcotic effect from these fungi?"
I shrugged, holding the little mushroom up with a grin. It looked about right, and I was really bored…
"This is either going to make me trip balls, or really, really sick," I said, punctuating my statement by popping the mushroom into my mouth.
"Are you daft!?" Miriel shrieked, jumping to her feet. "Did you truly just ingest an unknown substance!?"
I gagged a little as I swallowed the mushroom, grinning again.
"Little fuckers taste like ass," I chuckled. "Where'd you get 'em, anyway?"
"S-somewhere in Plegia," Miriel said, eying the mushrooms. "A merchant swore they were a local analgesic…"
"Curious?" I asked.
The scientist gulped, nodding nervously.
"I will admit to being… slightly curious, yes," she admitted.
"Okay, but first let me give you the standard disclaimer," I said, my tone serious. "I don't know if these are, indeed, the same as the ones in my home. They may make you sick as a dog, and I won't be responsible if we both die."
Miriel nodded again, and I turned to sit in the closest chair, continuing my spiel.
"However, if these are what I think they are in about half an hour you will see some crazy shit. They're a hallucinogen, and- DEAR GOD WOMAN DO NOT EAT ALL OF THOSE AT ONCE ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED!?"
Miriel looked up, her cheeks bulging with the mushrooms she'd just stuffed into her mouth.
"Spit! Spit 'em out!" I shouted. "You wanna die!? Start with one!"
Miriel looked at me like I was the retard, but did as I commanded, spitting the mushrooms back into the little box and selecting one of the larger ones to eat instead.
"Science advances in leaps and bounds," Miriel said, her tone close to a pout as she resumed her own seat. "I must document the effects of these fungi upon ingestion. You said that the hallucinogenic effect begins after roughly half an hour, yes?"
"Give or take," I sighed. "Jesus, woman. I can't believe you almost ate a whole damn handful… You'd be tripping for days… You know what, on second thought give me another one."
Miriel rolled her eyes as she slid the box closer to me.
"Can you define the hallucinogenic effect while we wait?" she asked.
"Depends on how hard it hits you," I shrugged, popping another two into my mouth for good measure. "From what you took you'll probably see some colors a little more vividly. Might want to go and listen to some music, it gets… I don't know, more awesome."
"And from the dosage you took?" Miriel asked, scribbling notes as I spoke.
I barked out a laugh.
"I'm planning to kiss the fucking sky. From what I just took I'm probably going to completely disconnect from reality for the rest of the day. So once it kicks in just kinda… help me to my room. Wait. Fuck. In fact, we should relocate there now. Like, right now."
I stood quickly, cursing myself a little. What would Chrom say if he found his tactician drooling and jabbering like a fool in the middle of his library!?
Miriel sighed, standing and collecting her things. There was a haste to her movements, though; clearly she didn't want to miss any of this. It was hard to tell, but I think she was having fun experimenting like this. For science.
"Very well," she said, following me out of the library. "This whole event is proving to be a fascinating experience."
We passed a couple of maids and I asked them to send up someone to play some music for us before we continued to my room in the royal apartments. Fortunately we didn't see any of the other Shepherds. Or rather unfortunately, given how much fun this could have been with someone like Nowi or Vaike. Virion seemed like he'd be the panicky-tripper, and Ricken would just get wound up on the stuff.
I shook my head a little as we walked. What in the hell did they cut those things with!? The walls were already so… bright. By my count it had only been about twenty minutes we'd been walking.
"Oh god this is going to be a good trip," I laughed, jumping a little as we went to my room.
Miriel made a thoughtful noise as she entered my room, looking around curiously as I ran a hand down my face. I brushed past her as she placed her burden on my desk and perched on my chair, climbing onto my bed and sitting cross-legged.
I watched intently, grinning like a nut, as Miriel blinked a few times and removed her glasses, rubbing her eyes and looking around again.
"Fascinating…" she mumbled.
"I meant to ask you," I said conversationally as I leaned back against my headboard. "Where'd you get the glasses? I could use a pair myself."
"I crafted them myself," she said absently, scribbling notes at a lightning speed. "I can make you one as well, if you desire."
"Maybe once we come down," I suggested, grinning.
Around me the patterns on the tapestries hanging on my walls were beginning to move… I think that my closet was breathing now, too. The rug had turned to a liquid, and was crashing like waves against my bed.
"Is… am I supposed to see colors like this?" Miriel asked curiously.
"Honey, I'm already fuckin' balls-deep here," I chuckled. "Just remember, what you see isn't real."
"Fascinating," Miriel muttered again. "How so?"
Her voice sounded like it was coming from a long way away now.
I laughed, I'm pretty sure for a very long time, before answering.
"You're fucking head looks like a landing light on a runway!" I giggled, rocking back and forth. "It's even doing that spinny-thing! Ha!"
"Fascinating…" Miriel said, noting everything.
"So what are you seeing?" I asked, leaning forward.
"I'm… not certain," she said after a moment, looking around. "Movement that should not be. Shapes and colors colliding and warping around us as I- eek!"
Miriel let out a little shriek, ducking. At what, I wasn't certain. But her hat fell off, grew legs and scampered across the room before letting out a little shriek of its own and disappearing into the liquid rug with a plonk sound.
"Fascinating…" Miriel repeated as she returned to her sitting position. "I think the curtains wish to dance with me…"
I'm pretty sure there was a goofy-ass grin on my face as I leaned back again. Then the door to my room opened and the minstrel entered, and my consciousness flew out past him. The walls all collapsed outwards as the universe flooded into my room. Everything was here, and nothing was here. I was a speck of cosmic dust on the solar wind as I blew through eternity. Colors became sounds, sounds became feelings, feelings became… food?
And the pain in my side was even gone.
I groaned and sat up, blinking and smacking my lips as a sheet fell off of me.
I was thirsty.
I had no idea where the fuck I was.
But I had reached enlightenment.
How long had I been out for? And, more importantly, why hadn't anyone kept me in my damn room!?
"Oh my god where the fuck am I?" I groaned, shakily getting to my feet.
And coming face to face with a white horse, blinking curiously at the human in its stable.
Not horse, I amended. Pegasus. I was in the Pegasus Roost.
"You're awake," a familiar voice said, a hint of laughter in it. "Good. I was starting to worry. And…"
Cordelia snorted when she entered my field of view, spinning away from me and laughing.
"Why are you naked!?" she half-yelled, half-laughed.
I glanced down and let out another groan as I reached for the sheet. It was a nice one. Clearly from someone important's bed.
"I had a great trip," I sighed, tying the sheet around myself like a toga.
"What?" she laughed.
"Don't ask," I sighed, exiting her mount's stable. "It was some serious 'science'. I wouldn't suggest it for first-timers. Oh fuck where's Miriel?"
"The last I had heard she had not left the library in almost an entire day," Cordelia said, turning back again. "Just after you and she had the court minstrels play in your room. What was that about? Just what kind of science were you practicing?"
"Science," I said with conviction, striking a pose.
AN2015: What can you look forward to in this story's 2016? A big, overdue, victory party! Getting Ricken laid! More substance abuse (which I do not condone IRL)! And finally the mystery mission they've been talking about for the last three chapters! All that before we finally move on to Valm! Whoop whoop! That's it! Have a good Christmas! See Y'all in the new year!