A/N: I lied. The story just wasn't ready to be finished and I wasn't ready to part with it. Hope that's ok with y'all.
Is it possible for words to sound fuzzy? Not fuzzy as in hairy, more like static fuzzy. Jane's head was full of black and white, blank tv screen static. She heard soft voices around her but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't place them or see where they were coming from. Maybe it was more like fog. The distant sound of voices reminded her of being a child and playing outside on a foggy evening in Boston. Something deep inside Jane relaxed at the thought of Boston but she couldn't figure out why. Warmth spread through her at the memory of her mother smiling as she chased her brothers around their small yard. She could feel herself running, she could feel the grass under her feet and see the forms she was chasing. It was the poor mans version of Marco Polo and the Rizzoli family loved it. "Jane?" The lanky woman stopped in her tracks when she heard her name being called. A brunette head whipped around to find her mother smiling back at her in the distance. She was holding the hand of a small sandy-haired boy standing to her right. The child was squirming against her hold, working hard to get to play with the rest of the kids. As Jane narrowed her gaze to meet the emerald green eyes of the boy the layers of fog started to lift. Jane's eyes met her mother's with a questioning look. Angela said nothing, her smile only growing wider as she looked to her left. In the crook of her arm was a newborn, one that Jane could swear wasn't there a moment ago. Jane felt as though she knew what and who was before her but she couldn't shake the last bits of confusion. "Jane?" Again she heard her name and began to step forward. Inexplicably she felt the need to see the infant's face, something was drawing her to it. Once she was within arms distance of her mother and the children, Jane looked down into the most innocent face she had ever seen. It was perfectly round and topped with a head of unruly dark curls. The baby had her eyes closed tightly and a round thumb between her bowed lips, suckling away. She brought a shaking hand up to a rosy, chubby cheek and let her index finger caress it gently. At that small touch, two big eyes opened and looked up at Jane, recognizing her immediately. Jane looked back into the comically large eyes and noticed that they were the same vibrant green of the little boy. She felt tears wet her cheeks at the familiarity she saw in that small connection. The remaining fog began to lift and pieces of her memory began to fall into place. Her mother standing before her and holding her son, Bradley's hand. She had never seen the little girl before but she felt like she was a piece of herself. Jane remembered expecting a second child, a little girl due in July. Her and Maura were very excited. Maura. Rays of sunlight finally broke through all the fog and fell upon Jane's face. She smiled broadly, matching the sun in warmth. With thoughts of the family surrounding her and Maura's love, Jane finally opened her eyes.
"Jane!" Maura's hand tightened on the cold, scarred one laying still at Jane's side. The doctor was relieved when an equally strong grip was returned. She let out a shaky breath that was laced with a small laugh as all the worry she felt over the past hours faded away.
"Hey, beautiful. I was just dreaming about you." Jane closed her eyes again and cracked one eye open. Both eyes weren't ready for the full frontal assault of hospital lighting.
"Tell me about it?" Maura was curious of course, but the question was asked to soothe her medical interest. She brought her free hand up to wipe the tears from Jane's pale, beautiful face. "You were crying." The words were quiet, meant more as an observation for herself. Maura didn't like to put too much focus on her badass detective's softer moments.
"Mmmmm." Jane tried to clear her throat. Her voice was much more rough than usual. "It was a great dream. Ma was holding our children. Everything was really foggy, Tommy and Frankie were there. We were all laughing and playing like old times."
"Our children? As in multiple?" Maura didn't hide the surprised curiosity from her voice.
"Only two, babe. Don't get ahead of yourself." The brunette chuckled and shifted on her mattress. She winced at the pain that shot across her back when she brought her arm across to rest her hand on Maura's pregnant belly.
"Move slowly, Jane. You took quite a fall."
"Anything broken?" Jane asked.
"Surprisingly, no. You have several severe contusions across your back and you hit your head as well. They did a scan and there's no brain damage." Maura stated clinically.
"Jeez." Jane moved again only to have her breath taken at the amount of pain she felt. "I thought I fell into water. It feels more like I got hit by a car!"
"It wasn't a smooth fall." Maura didn't want to get into the specifics of how her wife hit the dock piles or how she bounced from one pillar and slammed against the side of the massive yacht before hitting the water. She especially didn't want to relive how officers pulled her unconscious body from the frigid water just as mild hypothermia started to set in. Those details were best left unmentioned.
Jane settled back into her pillow and looked at her wife. Maura traded the restrictive evening dress for more comfortable yoga pants and oversized sweatshirt. Contentment was more important than appearance during pregnancy, even for Maura. Her makeup was still impeccable but Jane noticed the deep creases of worry and the shadows beneath her beautiful eyes. Those eyes reminding her of the infant she saw in her dream.
"Maur, what I'm about to say is going to sound crazy, but I think I saw her in my dream." Her gaze dropped to Maura's stomach, making sure that there was no confusion about which "her" she was speaking of. The blonde chuckled, causing Jane to feel silly. That feeling was extinguished by the warm smile that spread across the blonde's face and the next words that were spoke.
"You're not crazy, Jane. At least not anymore crazy than you were before your dream." The small, unexpected joke eased Jane immediately. Maura continued. "I'm not saying that your dream suggests synesthesia, but I do believe that your subconscious had a chance to take control and bring your deepest visions to the surface. An apparition of sorts."
Jane just nodded as if all the foreign terms Maura just used somehow made sense of it all. "As long as it's not synthetics."
"Synesthesia." Maura smacked Jane's thigh playfully, knowing that was one of the few areas that wouldn't be tender. They shared a smile, one full of love and comfort. Maura couldn't quell her own inquiring mind. "What did she look like?"
"She was beautiful." Jane didn't hesitate to answer. "She had a head full of black curls and a face that looked just like a cherub. A lot like yours actually." A thin hand came up to rest against Maura's cheek, a thumb brushing away a stray year that suddenly appeared. "She was sleeping in Ma's arm and then she was looking at me. Her eyes matched Bradley's exactly. That's how I knew she was ours."
"Oh, Jane." Maura gasped at the tenderness of her wife's words. She was out of the uncomfortable chair at Jane's bedside and her lips were pressed against the brunette's immediately. The kiss that started as something delicate escalated into tongues searching to make up for lost time. It wasn't until Jane pulled away with a whoop of pain.
"I think I'm gonna have to wait a few days to give you a proper kiss."
"I should have known better. I am the doctor after all."
"Not my doctor, though." Something dangerous was shining in the depths of Jane's chocolatey eyes. "Speaking of my doctor, where are they so I can get out of here?" She was already making her way, slowly and carefully, from the hospital bed.
"I'll go sign all the necessary paperwork while you change. Unless you want help?" It was an innocent proposal, but with the slight shimmy of her shoulders it was obvious that it wouldn't stay innocent for long.
"Go sign the papers, you'll get us in trouble if you stay." Jane snickered as she peeled the hospital gown from her body. Each welt and bruise came into view, sobering Maura immediately.
"I'll be right back." The blonde turned quickly in hopes of hiding the tears that were threatening to fall at yet another close call. She knew the risks that came with the job, but that didn't make it easier each time she almost lost Jane. Another vision of the lifeless body being pulled from the choppy water caused Maura's stomach to twist painfully, as a result she lost her balance just outside Jane's room. She leaned heavily against the sterile wall, putting herself back together by remembering Jane's radiant, lively smile just on the other side of that barrier. Once collected, she continued down to the reception desk signed for the release of her healing wife.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Paperwork was the worst part of the job. Back at the precinct Jane sat uncomfortably in one of the few cushioned chairs they had in the building. As she dotted her I's and crossed her T's, Maura was back at the townhouse packing up what little personal items Jane had to bring back. Secretly she was hoping she'd get to keep a few of the fancy suits she had accumulated along the way. She typed out the last sentence of her report, signed out of the computer for the last time and rose from the desk to make her way to her lieutenant's office. Their goodbye was quick and he praised her for the job well done. He showed no signs of regret for bringing her aboard, just gratefulness and unease over her injury. They shook hands and parted with easy smiles. Lieutenant Messina had a closed case and Jane was going home.
Once she arrived back at the townhouse she walked in to find a perfectly stacked pile of luggage by the door and two women laughing in the kitchen. Jane strode into the room with her usual swagger. Her long strides were more pronounced by the tight jeans and boots she was wearing. The loose fitting BPD sweatshirt she was sporting did nothing to disguise her lithe figure.
"What's so funny?" She came to a stop behind the woman who was a darker shade of blonde. Jane kissed the side of Maura's neck in greeting before returning her attention to the conversation.
"Oh, nothing." Lindsay continued to chuckle.
"Were you talking about me?" Jane moved to stand in front of her wife and look her in the eye. She never told Lindsay about Maura's inability to lie, so the younger blonde didn't know that she should be helping her accomplice.
"Maybe.." Small red patches started to appear on the area of tantalizing chest exposed by the v-neck sweater Maura was wearing. The vivid purple color complemented her skin tone perfectly, no matter how many blemishes were appearing.
"Hives, Maura." The free edge of Jane's short fingernail lightly scraped the raised skin as she trailed her fingertip down the exposed flesh. How was it so easy to forget Lindsay was in the room?
"Ahem." The other detective dramatically cleared her throat in an attempt to make herself known. "Why are you getting hives?"
"Maura can't lie. It's physically impossible. She gets hives and in severe cases she'll pass out. It's comforting for me but a pain in the ass for her." Jane explained such an interesting ailment in few words without taking her her eyes off the blushing ME in front of her.
"Really? That's fascinating!" Lindsay was genuinely interested, but she wasn't going to learn anymore about the issue because Jane pushed forward.
"What were you telling her?" Jane knew Maura was the culprit. She had too many stories from over the years to NOT share with a new audience.
"I was just telling Lindsay about the time we went undercover to the lesbian bar." It seemed like an adequate explanation to Maura.
"And what was the punch line?" Jane questioned.
"How we both said that we weren't each others type." Maura backed against the countertop as Jane advanced upon her. The brunette knew Maura couldn't keep her thoughts straight when she was in the ME's personal space.
"I'm not laughing yet."
"Fine!" Maura gave up. "I may have mentioned how you couldn't keep your eyes off my chest the whole evening." Jane stepped back and a small blush crept up her face. "And I also said something about you claiming to be straight.." Jane closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose when she heard Lindsay chortle.
A small smile appeared when Jane finally looked at her wife again. "How wrong I was, sugartits." Jane dodged the the small hand that was moving in her direction at a fast pace. "Come on. I'm ready to go home."
The threesome made their way to the door, doing one final check to make sure they weren't leaving anything behind. They all stood in silence, Maura was the first to say goodbye to Lindsay and then made her way to the car. She knew the detectives would want a moment alone, it was obvious how close the two women had become over the past six months. Maura was happy to see Jane have such a close friend, but she couldn't fight the jealousy she felt at being excluded from a part of her wife's life. She immediately felt silly for having such a feeling and proceeded to load the lighter pieces of luggage into the trunk of her Mercedes SUV.
"So..." Jane didn't know where to begin. She was never good at expressing her feelings through words. It took years to be able to talk freely with Maura, and even to this day she did better with physical expressions. Lindsay gave the older detective a moment to collect her thoughts by extending a hand.
"Detective, it was an honor working with you." Emotion was evident in the blonde's voice and she fought to keep it under control. A warm hand slid into hers and gripped firmly. Lindsay was surprised when she was being pulled forward and wrapped in a strong embrace. She was careful to be gentle with injured detective.
"I won't miss Connecticut but I will miss you, Connors. You were one hell of a partner and a very talented detective. If you ever need anything don't hesitate to call." Jane's voice started to crack, the finality of the situation finally hitting her full force. She didn't make friends easily and Lindsay's friendship would be one she'd cherish forever. "If you're ever in Boston.."
"You too, Rizzoli. You too." Both women let go at the same time and exited the townhouse. Lindsay climbed into her department issue sedan and Jane slid into the driver seat of her family vehicle after loading the last bags.
"Ready to go?" Maura asked as she placed her hand on her wife's thigh.
"Ugh!" Jane let out an exasperated sigh and let her head fall back against the headrest. "Yes!" When she turned to look at Maura her dark eyes were large and her smile was wide, dimples deeper than ever. The day she had been dreaming of was finally here.
After a two hour drive and a distance of over a hundred miles covered, Jane let relief flood her body and she let out a sigh. The sight of her home, brightly lit and buzzing with activity within, was the most beautiful thing she had seen since waking up to Maura that morning. Once the luggage was unloaded and stacked by the front door, Jane heard the unmistakeable sound of clawing at the barrier.
"Do you think that's Jo or Bradley?" Jane asked, only half joking. Maura just rolled her eyes at her wife and pushed the front door open. The blonde didn't try to hide the embarrassment when they found out both parties were guilty. "Bradley, no! Jo, down!" Jane rushed past her wife, not bothering to assistant in controlling the situation.
"There's my little man!" She scooped the small figure up into her arms and held him tight. When she felt his tiny arms wrap around her neck and squeeze with a matching vigor she finally felt at home. All the pain she felt because of the embrace was pain she would be willing to bear for the rest of her life if it meant feeling this much love.
"Janie!" Angela came rushing from the kitchen as she dried her hands on a dish towel before holding both rambunctious Rizzoli's tightly. "It is so good to have you home."
"It's good to be home, Ma."
Maura just stood back and watched the interaction. Her heart swelling at the vision of her wife and child. The emotion must have been contagious because their unborn child decided that it was a good time to make her presence known.
"Jane! She's kicking!" Maura cradled the soft spot on the right side of her abdomen with her hand, signaling where to feel. Three hands rushed to rest on that spot, two large and one much smaller. "Give her a minute, she'll do it again. She usually kicks in threes." Maura nodded and spoke matter-of-factly. They waited, three Rizzoli's held their breath and the fourth more feisty one already found something more interesting to play with. After a moment there was a small knock against taut skin.
Angela immediately jumped up and started clapping. During Maura's lonely nights, the older Rizzoli made sure to spend as much time with her daughter-in-law as possible. She had already felt the baby kick several times, but each time was just as exciting at the first. She kissed Maura on the cheek and turned to her daughter. Jane was looking at her wife with an expression of awe. Angela took the hint and decided to give the women some alone time.
"Bradley, why don't you come with grandma? I'm going to check on the cookies in the oven." At the mention of cookies the small boy was sold. He was already considering what a great "welcome home gift" a half eaten cookie would be for his mom.
The tiny tears that were resting on Jane's eyelashes finally made their way down her cheeks. Where her face held awe there was also an expression of love and sadness. While she was away she knew of all the things she was missing out on, but seeing it all before her now caused a fresh wave of regret. She grabbed Maura's hand and lead them to their bedroom where she could speak freely. Once the door was shut behind them she wrapped her arms around her wife and held on. Jane whispered all her regrets and apologies. She shared her deepest sorrows and all the fears she felt just a few nights before. The strong woman fell apart in her wife's arms and didn't allow herself to stop until she was put back together. Once her sobs finally subsided she took a step back to look into hazel eyes, framing her round face with soft yet strong hands. Her own brown eyes now swollen and stained red from all the tears.
"I will NEVER leave you like that again." Her face was less than two inches from Maura's, her eyes darted back and forth in her wife's steady gaze. She needed Maura to hear her, to believe, to feel the words she was speaking. "First thing Monday morning I'm telling Cavanaugh no more undercover. If he says no then he'll have my letter of resignation on his desk by the end of the day."
"Jane, don't say things like that. You know I'd never make you choose." Maura shook her head free of Jane's grip, immediately lowering her face to the floor. There'd be no hives because she wasn't lying, she just didn't want to get her hopes up.
"You're not making me. This is my choice. I love my job, it's what I was born to do. But I love you and our family more. So if my boss is ok with losing a detective over one small stipulation? Fine. I'm gone. I'll take early retirement and family vacations year round." The bright smile that lit up her face spoke volumes of the sincerity that was behind her small speech. Maura just held Jane carefully and let her head rest on her shoulder. The light gray color of the worn sweatshirt darkening with tears.
"I'd leave too, of course. We'd both have to retire." Maura smirked at the thought of them living employment free. "You know, I kind of miss Angie."
Jane was taken aback by the unexpected confession, but if there was one thing Maura was good at it was being random.
"Why's that?" The brunette was almost afraid to ask.
"She was so dapper and mysterious." A manicured hand slid down the center of Jane's chest, coming to rest between small breasts. "But I'd take my Jane any day. Especially when I get you into a dress." Her other hand roamed and found it's way to a muscular backside.
"I have a confession to make." Jane's face was deadly serious.
"What's that?" All of Maura's motions halted.
Jane brushed tucked blonde hair out of the way and brought her lips to Maura's ear, allowing the moist surface to graze sensitive skin. "I kinda miss wearing dresses." Maura guffawed at the admission. She grabbed her wife's face with her hands and planted a kiss on thin lips, it was a kiss that would forever be burned in Jane's memory. The detective pulled away for a brief moment to speak again before all ability of cognitive function dissolved.
"I want to name the baby Angela." She blurted out.
"Really? I thought you said one Angela in your life was enough." Maura looked at her wife suspiciously.
"That was before.." Jane blushed, "the dream."
"You decided that it's suddenly ok to name our baby after your mother since you had a dream?" The blonde tilted her head in confusion. It was hard to believe the words that were leaving Jane's mouth. Sometimes it was difficult to tell when the detective was kidding, even after years of experience. "Seriously?"
"Yeah, I mean, uh," Jane stumbled over her words, trying to put an explanation together. "It's hard to explain. She just looked so happy holding her. It seems significant somehow. I don't know!" Whiny Jane finally made an appearance, telling Maura that she got the best justification she was going to get.
"I think it's a great name. Which is why I suggested it when we agreed to try for a second child." Jane's sheepish look was adorable. "And we can call her Angie for short." She proceeded to kiss Jane again, making up for the lost contact.
Before the kiss had a chance to become something more than a casual hello, a voice called from the kitchen.
"Mama! I have a present for you!" Bradley's big boy voice was starting to show.
"I guess we should get back out there." A signature smirk finished the sentence.
"We should. Your brothers are coming over soon. Oh! Can I tell Angela the news?" Maura clapped her hands in an adorably dorky way. A way that brought an instant smile to Jane's face. No matter how many times she watched Maura, no matter how many expression were now familiar, she still fell in love with each and every one of them over and over.
"No. We'll save it for her birthday." Jane answered flatly.
"But the baby will be here before then!" Maura was being ushered out of the room by a hand on the small of her back.
"That works for me." Two chuckling woman returned to the kitchen and basked in the comfort of love and family.