It have now been in the Holmes estate for a month now. And it has been a month and half since I was raped by my then boyfriend Greg Lestrade. And I am starting to cope. I'm also starting to fall in love I think. Which is really bad. I don't trust easily, but I do trust some people. But I've always had a slight crush on him. And when he showed compassion and that he cared, I started to fall in love with him. But that's the same thing that happened with Greg. So I wasn't going to pursue that, at least not yet. Mycroft was genuine though, which made it rather hard for me to not fall in love. But no, not yet. I wasn't going to let this be so easy like before, but I was a hopeless romantic and this sort of thing made me all sappy inside. The "man who saves the day gets the girl" sort of deal. The thing you see in all those romantic movies or read in all those romantic novels. But not this time. Not yet. I was not dropping my guard this soon. I still wasn't fully myself yet, so I wasn't going to listen to myself until I was okay.

But other than that I was good. No panic attacks, no surprise visitors, nothing out of the ordinary. I was in a good, safe place. What did bother me was something super personal. And I wasn't going to talk to anyone about it, or so I thought. I was late, which essentially wasn't a problem because it used to happen to me when I was a teenager. I was irregular as teenager, but it had become more stable and joined a pattern when I got older. And now I was late. And I wasn't freaking out, because it was only a month. And I was only a few weeks late. I was keeping track on my calender. I wasn't going to worry about it until later. I didn't need to, right? Yes, of course. It totally okay.

Today Mycroft and I were going to try something. I needed to get outside. Being cooped up in a house for a month and a half just wasn't healthy for me. My sink was looking a sick, pale color and I needed people. I needed to see people even if I didn't know them. I just needed people contact. So that was our goal for today. Our goal was to get me out of the house. And we did just that.

I had woke up that morning and showered. We then proceeded to eat breakfast and then we left. We went to the park to start the say off. He said he sometimes came to this park to clear his mind. And that's what we were doing. We were clearing our minds and getting some fresh air. After the park, we just strolled around London. The London I knew. The London I missed. We had turned a corner when I stopped. Across the street was my work. My original safe place. I could feel myself start to tense up like I was going to have a panic attack, but instead I let silent tears stream down my face.

"What's wrong?" Mycroft looked around, like he was searching for a murderer or a ghost or maybe even Greg. He then looked over in the direction I was faced.

"My job." I managed to squeeze out. "Can we-" I started. Was I ready to go back? Someone had been covering my shifts while I was away. Most of the situation had been explained to them, sort of. They were told it was a family emergency, so they quickly covered my shifts. I felt almost bad that they had to take over my job for me and I also felt bad for abandoning my dead bodies. I hadn't even thought about leaving my dead bodies when I ran. But how could I go back? What about all the police that came in with dead bodies? I couldn't do it, but I needed to.

Before either of us could say anything, I felt my feet move towards my old work place. Before I knew it, both Mycroft and I were in the room I used to work in. One of the other girls, actually the girl who had taken all my shifts were down there. She was a bit started when I just walked in.

"Oh! I'm so sorry. I wasn't expecting people." She exclaimed.

"No, it's okay. I wasn't expecting to come back here today." That's when she realized it was me.

"Molly! I missed you so much! This job just hasn't been the same without you. It really hasn't. Are you coming back?" She looked excited to have me back. She had been my intern and she had been the brightest and smartest. Just like me. That's why I liked her.

Before I could think about whether or not it would be a good idea to come back, I said yes. I wanted my job back. I wanted part of my life back. But I told her I had one rule/condition. I wasn't to be alone, she or someone always had to be with me while I worked. And that was that. I had my job back. I had my life back. I was almost me again. And I was okay with that.

Mycroft and I left in silence and we didn't talk until we go home. I was ecstatic. I had my job back! I couldn't believe it. I didn't not have my job, I just wasn't working. I was expecting to have a panic attack because I was moving too fast again, but instead I felt normal. I felt fine. I felt okay. But that was easily interrupted.

"What are you thinking?" He asked.

"What do you mean?" I was confused.

"Your job? Are you serious? Are you even ready for that to happen?"

"I need something to occupy my time. Just sitting here at home isn't what I need. I need something to do. I've cleaned the house a million times. I've read almost every book in the history of books, but I need more. I need my dead bodies." I was starting to get a little loud and a little defensive. I finally had something good and solid in my life. I finally had him, this house, and now my job.

"But I'm worried about you. What happens if Greg shows up? Or you have a panic attack and I'm not there? What then? I'm worried about you." His voice was starting to raise. It was happening again. He is just like Greg. He's starting to control my life. He didn't want me to leave. It was his plan all along. He wanted to get me alone to himself so he could so the same thing Greg did or worse. He was the British Government, who knew what he would do. He could do more damage than anyone else ever could.

"I know you are worried. And thank you. But I need to be myself again. I need a little space. I can't be locked up here all my life." I had changed my tone of voice like I had when Greg got angry. I quieted down and I shifted my weight to show I wasn't here to fight.

"Fine, go to your job then. But I will have someone watching you. You won't know who it is. No one will and I'll make sure Greg doesn't come near you. Ever. I want to keep you safe. I love you and I don't want you to get hurt." He was now the most vulnerable he had ever been in his entire life. He had messed up. Slipped up. He had revealed something I had hoped never would have happened. Before we could talk about what he had just said, he stiffened and moved towards the door.

"I need to make a few phone calls. I should inform John of your plans and I need to find someone to keep an eye on you." And he left the room. I was stunned. That had just happened. And now things were moving too fast. I wasn't going to share my feelings for at least another month or so, but he had slipped up and now it was on the table. It was out in the open. It was exposed and we couldn't cover that up anymore.

And I was okay with that.